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Courtside at the LAKERS | Superfly with Dana Carvey and David Spade | Episode 42

November 15, 2024 / 01:07:20

This episode covers basketball game experiences, LeBron James, Bronny James, and celebrity interactions. The hosts, Dana Carvey and David Spade, share humorous anecdotes from a recent Lakers game.

Carvey discusses the awkwardness of sitting courtside, where he feels too close to the players. He humorously recounts how basketballs came flying towards him and how he interacted with the players, including Bronny James.

The conversation shifts to Bronny's career, with Carvey expressing admiration for him despite the challenges of being LeBron's son. They discuss Bronny's G League participation and the pressures he faces.

Carvey and Spade also share stories about their experiences with celebrities, including Chris Rock and Michael Jordan, highlighting the amusing moments that come with being in the entertainment industry.

The episode concludes with light-hearted commentary on various topics, including fast food, fashion, and humorous observations about everyday life.

TL;DR

Dana Carvey and David Spade share funny stories from a Lakers game, discussing Bronny James and celebrity encounters.

Video

00:00:00
[Music] when you get those courtside seats it's
00:00:06
too close for the players I feel bad we five balls came to us you know what I mean like no and it's so awkward or I
00:00:14
give him I throw it back like I'm I'm kind of good like what do you want a chest pass there you go I know those I
00:00:20
got a bounce pass you're handling the ball more than bronny I mean what's going on yeah
00:00:26
Bron's over there hey come on man and then um also when they're standing there
00:00:32
to take the ball out one foot in front of you this is what they don't like when I go like that that guy's open that guy
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nope too late that guy's open so over that
00:00:45
guy we got to get right to it we can't dilly d people told me don't talk about your hair on the podcast that's on YouTube and they also say I look like I
00:00:52
slept on my face and today is not a good example of me not so [ __ ] them
00:01:00
you like you slept on your F face there how about that so to catch you up and
00:01:07
and the only thing I'll say on this whole podcast that will interest you right I want to know I went to a
00:01:13
basketball game last night professional College the Lakes the
00:01:18
Lakes against who are they playing I watched some of it Grizzlies mhm did
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they win I fell asleep I mean should we have checked if was
00:01:31
playing yes we should have he was not playing he's not playing no no
00:01:36
no I mean it's a new age where you have to check first to see if the basketball
00:01:41
players are playing in the game well I mean the injuries are so extreme right
00:01:47
that's what took him out right well I think he's an injury but there's also a lot of sitting out or whatever they call
00:01:52
it resting and rotating and you know I think uh embiid was it got in hot water
00:02:00
for saying I'll be playing every other game this year oh really I'll I'll be doing every other
00:02:06
podcast I like the closeup emphasis listen listen management like you always
00:02:12
like to say when we read ad listen now listen uh you're 74 you're 280 you're
00:02:18
this thing don't start defending when they started this 82 Game
00:02:24
season uh the biggest guy in the league was 64170
00:02:30
so now they've got guys I don't know Bob Koozie yeah good one Bob Koozie and Rick
00:02:36
Barry from the snap bar Pistol Pete was 53
00:02:42
well he was probably 130 I'll give you that his socks weigh more than him ladies and gentlemen okay yeah so anyway
00:02:50
I see what it what they mean by you know resting but it's a monetary thing right
00:02:55
they got it they also they did rest bronny which I thought was good um the
00:03:00
paper towel or the athlete good night bronnie is uh related to LeBron James
00:03:06
and uh he's got there's the bench and then there's a lazy boy chair that he
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gets to sit in people give him they give him a hassle cuz he they say he's pampered it it's a tough road for
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bronnie because you don't pick your dad first of all I'm here to defend bronny all day long I mean I will defend him
00:03:27
your Counterpoint I will defend him in the hotel room I I defend them on flying
00:03:33
the wall and I will defend him here on Superfly um that was JFK doing yeah
00:03:39
Churchill anyway look nepo kit he did not ask he didn't pick when he came from
00:03:46
the stars to be born that could I have the greatest basketball ever to play the game as my dad and then I'm going to be
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a basketball player too so I have a lot of respect for that kid well look he's in the com yeah yeah
00:04:00
don't talk to me about my Kareem don't talk to me about my steps and my Larry
00:04:06
birds and you know Jordan of course but um so I have so much respect for that
00:04:11
kid because the uh you know he he I just saw this on the news yesterday morning
00:04:17
that they go oh because I knew I was going to the game and I said oh and they said Anthony Davis will play and I said
00:04:22
great because I think he got poked in the eye the night before and he was maybe going to be out so he's he played and LeBron Soh good enough even know
00:04:29
johnan that's good enough yeah and they said bronnie is doing the G league but he's saying he he's not going to do the
00:04:36
away games he doesn't want to be that far away so I said at some point you have to say now it's your decision you
00:04:44
have to say hey I should rough it you know instead of going hey I heard you
00:04:49
suckas went to Sacramento last night because he was at the game and he was sitting on the bench I'm like Chris why
00:04:55
are these guys why is he here I thought he was okay let's unpack
00:05:02
we may have to go longer no so being in the flow getting reps like our friends
00:05:08
on Sat Night Live so if they had a a g league for SNL they would go to this
00:05:14
sketches yeah sketches and they would get go back to the ground Lings more and more and more so if Brony is coming out
00:05:21
because it's it's a pretty deep bench it's got a lot of great players and he's playing three or four minutes he can go
00:05:26
to the G League they call it the G League and play 40 minutes and get into
00:05:32
his flow into his rhythm so that's why they send him down there it's not a demotion it's just no they do it in
00:05:39
major leagues you go down and you work on your swing or you hurt your shoulder you go get back and you come back I'm
00:05:45
not yeah I'm just saying I'm ien you're so close to trending right now you're
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hot it's not a basketball show no I'm not you're hot too you are no I will I will say it's
00:05:59
funny when well Chris Rock is the one who uh we went together and so it's
00:06:05
funny when like the basketball players down come down sometimes they say hi you know and then at a certain point the
00:06:13
game's so long that when they come down it's like seeing some one at a party over and over and you're like because
00:06:19
they they keep seeing you because you're right there and and so embarrassing cuz you look away like I don't want to act
00:06:25
like I'm going trying to connect eyes repetitively acknowledging you you know yeah it's so gross it's okay quo you did
00:06:32
it early in the first quarter I don't need a fourth quarter exactly how many times can you go hey what's up hey
00:06:39
what's up but the a ref came over to say uh hi that was nice really I wish I gave
00:06:45
him a few Notes too I said here I had the concessioner the popcorn guy kept
00:06:51
repeatedly wanting for wanting me to sign his popcorn harness do you know my old joke about uh
00:06:59
Shard a where I say uh Shard a she comes to our country with no rules for any like how to say words and letters like
00:07:06
she spells it s a pronounce it Shard a I spell my name s p a but I don't
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pronounce it Ned you know I go by the rules so behind
00:07:17
me I hear Hey [ __ ] Ned Ned and I'm like oh my God it's Dennis turn around
00:07:25
it's Jimmy Miller oh it's Jimmy Miller which is Dennis younger brother yeah
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exactly Dennis just the brother famous manager he's with Tom seura who lost a lot of weight and
00:07:38
shaved his beard and I swear to you I did not know his Tom siguro for a second I go I turn around I go hey oh Jimmy I
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thought it was Dennis the N Tom saguro wait a minute shaved and lost L waight
00:07:50
he wasn't that heavy I mean what is he down is he he wasn't heavy he just I think there's some uh movies doing and
00:07:56
uh or whatever he just he looks good but I just took me a second what what happened underneath there when you when
00:08:02
he shaved I mean you know some I knew a guy had had a big big broom mustache
00:08:10
yeah you know and he's like 4550 and I he used to kind of make fun of my
00:08:15
tossled hair and I go what's going on under that there you know does he have one of those weird upper lips where his
00:08:21
handsome quo drops cars with a mustache yeah it's like
00:08:26
this I want the fan want the fans to tell us should we do I know we're a
00:08:32
little long in the tooth but should Mike and I do Wayne's World a sketch at the
00:08:38
50th I just want them to answer answer in the comments Below on the comments on YouTube yeah that's a good idea and uh
00:08:46
also should I shave my beard because that'll be less comments but I got I the
00:08:52
whole story is I did grew this beard because it sort of can shape your face a little more you know totally it's it's a
00:08:58
good trick and then but it got gray overnight so I didn't like that but uh it's I got one compliment that was what
00:09:05
I always used to say I got zero without it and I got one with it so I said the ones win and I will keep it and so it's
00:09:12
here for now oh and the Side Story I went back at halftime who's there Sebastian was we
00:09:20
just interviewed him we just interviewed him oh I love that guy yeah you coming
00:09:26
backstage to hang out with the play yes over there he was really laughing we
00:09:32
doing our bad impression should I go get some scallop potatoes there's a guy on
00:09:39
the bench he's a bench sitter clipping his stail everyone's clipping their toenail
00:09:47
and it really the character it's pretty funny yeah because he's his character you know immediately like he's
00:09:54
completely upset that someone has Band-Aids on everything's annoying him everything is annoying him I get an Uber
00:10:00
I walk out in the street hey are you g gak speaking of
00:10:07
gak I I went to the pharmacy and I was buying some adult liquid Refreshments
00:10:14
beer and anyway sure so the woman has an accent I don't have any I love immigrants I I am one uh and she's
00:10:23
wearing a mask and so this is not a routine it's literally what I heard morning here you know I mean oh
00:10:31
she's got a mask on a mask and an accent and I'm trying to interpret it
00:10:37
you mean you need an ID for the beer that's what I heard you know what's
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funny I'm not even I'm not even offended by your accent because I don't know which one you're doing to be offended yet no I don't know what it is yeah
00:10:49
exactly but I do this for myself and it did not upset her I started giving her the same sound back so she would go what
00:10:59
and I'm just standing there there's a line behind me and I just go she she understood me she was asking
00:11:08
if I wanted a receipt I want to meet the human beings that go buy some potato
00:11:14
chips in a beer and want to get the receipt what are they give me that receipt are they writing it off I mean
00:11:21
what did they want I mean hey then you drive to Warren Grant's office and go here's my
00:11:27
299 Ruffles yeah I bought some Cheetos at a 7-Eleven last night can we get some
00:11:34
kind of double deduction on that yeah yeah also then you look at Tik Tok and
00:11:40
the most filthiest thing in the world other than toilet seats is receipts something about them is like poison and
00:11:46
F that's funny mhm also that's funny but back to the game the last thing I'll tell you is I want to hear a when you
00:11:52
get those courtside seats gifted upon you because I don't I didn't buy them but someone let us use them from br Ste
00:12:00
and then uh you're a you're too close it's too close for the players I feel bad we five balls came to us you know
00:12:07
what I mean like no and it's so awkward or I give him I throw it back like I'm I'm kind of good like what do you want a
00:12:13
chess pass there you go I know those I got a bounce
00:12:18
pass you're handling the ball more than bronny I mean what's going on Ronnie's over there hey come on man and then um
00:12:27
also when they're standing there to take the ball out one foot in front of you this is what they don't like when I go
00:12:33
like that that guy's open that guy nope too late that guy's open so over that
00:12:39
guy and uh they love that and then uh also Rock reminded
00:12:44
me that I didn't know when Michael Jordan hosted that we all went to McDonald's at lunch because we used to
00:12:50
go under 30 Rock and he goes I missed the days when we go to McDonald's with MJ and I go wow tell me we went and I
00:12:57
don't remember he goes we all went you could have gone I don't know he said whoever was in the last sketch of the
00:13:04
before lunch we always go to McDonald's me and rock cuz we're eating poison all day and so we went down and I think he
00:13:11
just said I'll go with you guys and we're like oh my God but it had to be get
00:13:16
recognized I mean I was like yes yes it's him I was
00:13:22
in the video store sketch yes it's me anyway that was exciting I'll tell you
00:13:27
my quick MJ story m that's how close we were love that guy you know he's the
00:13:32
most competitive athlete in history so he just uh you know and he has kind of
00:13:37
an intense at you know he's six seven or whatever he just looks down at me and he goes uh do you Golf and I go uh oh you
00:13:45
know a little bit you know what do you shoot I don't know I mean really without
00:13:52
taking a mulligan I'd be lucky to break a 100 he paused and said well you're not very good are you
00:13:59
he sensed your weakness I know and he sounded like John Ham in that moment you're not very you're not very good are
00:14:06
you but anyway that's you know what he wants to play you and beat you I know and I go I I I had no ego about my my
00:14:13
golf game you know I'm better at croquet okay how about a quick game of Cribbage
00:14:21
yeah why don't we uh you know play stro instead I was good at Stratego yeah I
00:14:28
bet you would be with photog what a [ __ ] nerd I was oh
00:14:33
[Music]
00:14:40
yeah I am a gambler Dana I'll I freely admit it y absolutely nothing wrong with
00:14:46
that uh B MGM is um you know a place
00:14:51
where you can gamble and I mhm jump on that because I am really good at
00:14:57
it yes says John Travolta and I were talking about it and I told him I told
00:15:03
him that I won you know I did really well and he's like that's like really crazy I can't believe how much money you
00:15:10
got you know I told I told Jimmy Fallon about bet MGM and he went how what you
00:15:15
doing doing oh he he told me that once too yeah I have you told anybody I think
00:15:22
what he meant was uh all season long that b mgm's offering you a second chance on your first touchdown bet so
00:15:29
what that is to explain it to you is when a customer places a wager on a first touchdown score bet and he does
00:15:36
not Score first but score second we will return 100% of their stake back in cash
00:15:43
how can you lose on that that's like you win either way that's hilarious because that Bernie Sanders said the same thing
00:15:49
to me you know what he when the customer places a wager on a first touchdown
00:15:55
score bet he does not Score first but he's scor second we will return 100% of
00:16:02
the stake I'm going quickly quickly into the guy from from The Godfather no I
00:16:09
like it it was pretty Bernie that was good Bernie uh I just do Bernie as a crosswalk card don't proceed the system
00:16:15
rigged rigged is a good word for Bernie's so anyway it's amazing that he
00:16:20
said that about be so many people uh you can follow you can tag bet MGM across all your socials
00:16:28
at bet MGM uh B MGM and game sense remind you
00:16:33
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00:16:40
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in partnership with Kansas Crossing Casino and Hotel okay quickly there's also uh Jake
00:17:23
Paul fight tonight isn't it tomorrow night or is it tonight oh it's oh excuse me [ __ ] me
00:17:29
it's tonight God edit it edit it doesn't get show business I like it better you
00:17:35
don't understand it you know I will say this let's talk about this fight because we'll be able to I will say predict give
00:17:43
it to me we can stop saying Jake Paul's a YouTuber he's fighting a YouTuber this
00:17:48
guy's 63 chiseled 240 with you know round the-clock Trainers for the last 5
00:17:55
years that's not now fight Mr Beast okay okay that's fighting a YouTuber little
00:18:01
out of shape little squishy uh isn't training all day he's had six eight fights something like that he fought he
00:18:08
fought um some MMA guys right he fought yeah can't remember his name which
00:18:14
boxing isn't their number one thing and then he's fighting guys in his 40s now he's moving up to late 50s um but yeah I
00:18:21
don't I don't look at him like look if it's not Tyson I go in tomorrow night um
00:18:29
what do I do I'm fast I'm quick I duck could he make contact could he make meaningful contact with me I don't know
00:18:36
meaningful would my would my punches land and hurt him I don't know no I
00:18:42
anyone who goes in a ring and with Mike Tyson because he he could have old man's strength you know old man's strength is
00:18:48
different than young man's strength and so you are risking really getting hurt so I have a lot of respect for uh my dad
00:18:57
used to get mad we'd wrestle or something and he'd throw me down I'm like that's old man's strength like I'm like oh he's way stronger than I thought
00:19:04
like you don't think about it yeah why is it old man's strength and then eventually you're too old and they go no
00:19:10
no that's that's not old man's strength old man's strength might last till 60 and then it's like yeah I think Biden
00:19:17
isn't isn't gonna give those two guys a good fight I think that Trump and he just were staring at each other shaking
00:19:23
hands and neither neither would let go and they were squeezing come on man serious here I'm not getting around
00:19:30
Trump's like going to squeeze it never going to let go g to squeeze it that was not reported now you know what Trump
00:19:36
does he goes over he does that one I know it's a power move you go over I
00:19:41
don't know why I didn't know that but that's something he did a lot of things he he was sat further in the chair he
00:19:47
put his left side over for his stomach maybe coming in so he's leaning in with a lot of Leverage with his elbow here
00:19:53
and Biden had to go way over weak weak arm he's like here bringing him in so
00:19:59
yeah Trump knows all the moves so does Putin and that's why they they either love each other or hate each other I
00:20:04
don't know something's going on I saw a video of trump walking in the old days when he was president the first time
00:20:09
walking behind like some guy in Saudi Arabia that's a king at the bottom says you are not allowed to touch the royal
00:20:16
king and everyone walks around like this and Trump goes hey there's my guy and hits him on the shoulder as he walks by
00:20:22
I know everyone's like it's just just a rule breaker I
00:20:27
know later on hey this guy he got the the king of Saudi Arabia got he got him in a headlock and like yeah you're
00:20:34
terrific I love everything you're doing here you got a lot of sand look at it it's a lot of
00:20:39
sand um but uh anyway who's gonna win who's gonna win I just I don't want to
00:20:46
predict I just want to see a fake fight it's two it's twom minute rounds instead
00:20:51
of three it's it's eight rounds instead of 10 or 15 the gloves I think are 14 or
00:20:59
16 bigger than regular um like this big so they're it
00:21:06
you know what like let's say you and I we're gonna fight for
00:21:11
charity and they're gonna pay us how much would you pay to take punishment from Carvey no it'd be too much I
00:21:17
couldn't take those you you would destroy me you're Scrappy the thing is
00:21:22
I'm angry that's the only thing I got going for me uh I go I go my dad left me
00:21:28
then it all comes out on you um instead of my dad there's only one there's only one thing worse in the world than the
00:21:35
dad leaving the house and that's the dad stain oh yeah we both we coin toss this
00:21:41
because we both didn't really love it uh but let I think yeah okay I think here's another problem Dana you know boxing
00:21:49
you're pretty you're an efficient I like it so I what I don't like about this a
00:21:54
it's not a sanction fight Heather this isn't like a real fight this is a an entertainment fight something call
00:22:01
call promition exhibition fight so shorter rounds shorter rounds and you know what
00:22:08
Tyson gets paid per round this is my problem this is why people go he's
00:22:14
better in the first round he's going to knock him out no no no no he Jake Paul made it staggered this is what I've
00:22:20
heard allegedly so he gets more the longer the fight goes on and what's
00:22:25
happening he's going to get tired or his long and Jake Paul's no puss he's huge dude so he could knock you know so I don't no
00:22:33
I know if J Paul survives it and 57 comes to bite uh sweet Mike Tyson who
00:22:40
I'm a huge fan of um in the ass and that means once you get gassed you know
00:22:46
that's the word is gas like once once you get gassed and you can't really get your arms up then you're really
00:22:51
vulnerable you know so yeah uh I see Tyson getting knocked out yeah because I
00:22:58
I think if he's not going to give it all he fought Roy Jones Jones four years ago
00:23:04
and it was just it was more than a push fight but they were obviously discussing like let's give them a little fun fun
00:23:11
fun it was what Apollo Creed and uh Drago was supposed to be an exhibition
00:23:18
you know what I mean hey goof around you know hey okay let me do Drago just for a second I I must break you I must break
00:23:27
you one of the great lines and I love Stallone boxing was a great idea that
00:23:33
was a great oh yeah and he's chopping wood in the forest and that guy's on a he's all wired up on a treadmill he's
00:23:40
with Elon Musk coaching him you know Bening the SpaceX yeah yeah I would
00:23:48
say split decision then in eight rounds you know okay and what if that is we'll
00:23:54
go next week we'll say what happened Tyson will be very very magnanimous after to the fight you know listen
00:24:01
listen I don't have any hate to Jake Paul I don't hate him you know he came to fight you know I was said I was
00:24:07
scared I was scared I hadn't been fighting in a while but I just uh you know I got my boxing gloves on and I
00:24:12
just went full Beast mod but I think it was a good fight at the end nobody got Hur we got paid a lot of money a lot of
00:24:19
money it's on Netflix good I'm I'm gonna watch yeah Netflix has got money I hope
00:24:25
they got Netflix everything's not a pay-per-view so I think they're going to get
00:24:31
paid by the stream let's talk to Ted I would say they got upfront guarantees
00:24:37
for Netflix upfront guarantees they're not going to take a percentage to the gate I would we should have had Ted on
00:24:43
to promote it today damn it dumb dumb hi I'm um I'm Ted sendos hello he doesn't
00:24:51
sound like that if you say the name of who you're doing you're halfway there
00:24:56
hello hello I'm Ted I'm Ted sendos are you doing Elon Musk this week on the
00:25:01
show or no you you know I never know last week they said on Thursday night like at midnight would you like to do
00:25:07
Elon you know and so I said I'll give it a shot so anyway right you're a Hired
00:25:13
Hand that you work they tell you what to do and you do it yeah yeah I mean it's just um you just try to do it you you
00:25:19
you take the source material and you try to extrapolate it uh into a character
00:25:24
and make it kind of fun what are you going to do I don't know oh before we get to the headlines did you I did my
00:25:31
SNL photo shoot we talked about last time I was going there did you do yours and how was it yes uh it was um
00:25:38
nostalgic you know I got uh Molly Shannon walked in and then the director
00:25:45
David L Chappelle saw us together and goes okay you guys have chemistry I'm goingon to put you two together so then
00:25:51
then Molly got a sequin red dress on she looked great and then there he's up
00:25:56
there and he goes put your arms around waist and get your get close up with Molly and I'm like is this okay and then
00:26:03
he goes put your hand on her mid and then put your hand up like I'm Steve
00:26:08
McQueen or something but she was adorable she doesn't care less yeah she
00:26:14
McKinnon was there was Kate there McKinnon was she yeah oh McKinnon yes
00:26:20
Kate I just call her I just call her Kate um she was all all the people that
00:26:25
were there and what happened was wkan was there as in Christopher and he was back why was walking there how great and
00:26:33
um no no one's paying attention to him he's reading a book on a couch back where M big big room so I just kind of
00:26:40
sat next to him start of started talking to him hello he goes he goes uh after a
00:26:46
while he goes I'm a huge fan of of chopping broccoli did he say that I said really
00:26:53
yeah oh that's a good one how do you chop it broccoli but anyway he was so
00:26:58
much interesting and fun to talk to he's fascinated by my iPhone he doesn't have one he kept saying I got to get me one
00:27:04
of those you know cuz I showing him pictures first one oh it lights up so
00:27:11
this is the fun part like I had done this sketch with him when he was hosting Jack Handy wrote it that we're like
00:27:16
aliens on this spaceship and we come down to earth in peace but our door that lets us get down the ladder always kills
00:27:23
a farmer or something so we come out and they they're all mad at us you know
00:27:28
right I remember that remember that one so we just accidentally kill someone we come in peace but they're all angry and
00:27:34
then before we run back into the spaceship his character always has to say let's get out of here you know and
00:27:42
then we'd run up in the spaceship and his head laughing his ass off so after the whole photo shoot the whole thing
00:27:48
he's leaving he's like 20 feet away he turns to me and says it with full walk and he goes no he does not let get out
00:27:56
of here and then he just gosh I know how can we tell him how how
00:28:02
big he is man to us does he know that everyone just is like mesmerized by
00:28:07
whatever he does he's just has no no he doesn't wear any ego he's just
00:28:13
fascinated by people and thing things though and just but he's um you know you go back to Deer Hunter and just and then
00:28:20
you think about oh and then Wayne's World to he was in that you know oh [ __ ]
00:28:27
yeah but I enjoy talking to him and and others for our viewers at home that the
00:28:33
the photo shoot is a photo shoot for magazine coming out for the for the 50th
00:28:38
right so they want the 50th Anniversary get some it's not all cast I thought
00:28:43
mine would have a 100 people because they say you're on the west coast they're going to do New York also MH but
00:28:49
they might have done one or two days in each Place uh ours was same situation it
00:28:54
was a white box is that what you and Molly got go a buck and then that's when
00:28:59
you you do your kind of single shots but up in the big then they build this massive set and they take these big wide
00:29:06
shots and by the way and guess what the the magazine is a regular siiz magazine
00:29:12
New York Magazine but it's going to fold out to I think five or six panels so to see all 60 people you have to fold it
00:29:20
all the way oh is it 60 that's what I was told six oh I don't know because I kept going what are we doing here
00:29:25
because mine only had about 10 or 12 of us yeah ours seemed the
00:29:31
thing I was but you had a host you had walking in it we didn't have hosts we had like we're walking because you know
00:29:37
he said he I was in Singapore you know I ordered some food and the waiter comes
00:29:43
back and says it'd be so much better with more cowbell oh yeah he still loves he get H
00:29:51
with cow yeah that's that's number one one time he said uh he said I ran him
00:29:58
somewhere he goes the movie Joe Dirt you know uh a lot of a lot of people you
00:30:05
wouldn't think saw it and come up to me and talk about it too many
00:30:12
people too many so he said I said we might do
00:30:17
another one he goes count me in and then he actually did do
00:30:23
it the stud that he is and I don't even know I swear we the first one I can't
00:30:29
even tell you he read it first because he just showed up and we sort of
00:30:34
talked about it but he's going to do whatever he's going to do anyway but he sort of thought of it as a kind of a fun
00:30:41
situation because it wasn't like a heavy movie like probably like wayv like yeah anyway he's a perfect goto guy if he
00:30:48
will go to because he's very hard to even get a hold of kind of like that bill M well he doesn't have a telephone
00:30:55
he doesn't have a a TV he does and I go what do you do at night and he says
00:31:00
magazines I read magazines yeah yeah so Sky Mall all the new
00:31:06
ones he's so eccentric but is a he's a Charming funny uh person to hang out
00:31:13
with and um it's fun seeing everybody there you know just lots of lots we didn't have any hosts we had
00:31:19
uh love seeing melany uh melany Bill haer the guys that just like Martin
00:31:25
Short we just crack up no matter what what what's going on that was fun you know we got in that we did our box photo
00:31:32
they had me go in there and do the thing where you do your own shots we all laugh because you couldn't look stupider like
00:31:38
at a certain point he's going maybe one with your hands in the ear grab your ear put your own dick in your mouth I'm like
00:31:44
okay let's just get this done like you you you walk in there going I just want one like this cool and by the end you're
00:31:49
like yeah John banet running around with like a bow or hat I know so then we go
00:31:54
to the structured shot like you had where they go like the big but it's all like thought out like they have a
00:31:59
blueprint okay we're going to put Amy polar is up here you're down there and there's 80 so we we uh did that and then
00:32:08
of course that's the funny part because everyone's just yelling back at because he's yelling they're all yelling for us there's prob 20 people watching and then
00:32:15
we're all yelling to be funny and then that was funny because of course everyone's saying something good and
00:32:21
then it wasn't that bad it was about two hours three hours yeah I mean I was in the Box getting the picture and so when
00:32:26
you get in the box and he's there and there's people all around him and he's got the camera and yeah he's doing all
00:32:33
that and yes and up and down and squeeze and look and left and he's not looking at me he's just looking off camera and
00:32:39
just pressing the button at the monitor yeah and I didn't realize it was the monitor so then I oh oh okay I ruined
00:32:46
that so yeah that was but he goes like he goes can you jump can you jump that's what he told me and I go not really he's
00:32:53
like okay because I'm trying to save myself and then uh while we're up
00:32:59
there I'm just laughing the whole time because everyone there is funny and everyone's yelling something funny and
00:33:04
uh you can't stop anybody and so it was just audience member laughing at
00:33:10
everybody uh other than that okay now I guess we can get to some serious news what's going on in the
00:33:17
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00:34:18
performance is not guaranteed Man rushed to hospital after stuffing 15 hardboiled
00:34:23
eggs up his pal it's a good one to start with I like
00:34:28
you reading it yeah I know why we started that was a cold read this is the most important I literally said put him
00:34:34
in order of importance I'm like what's sort of news this week what's just stupid this is number one this is it I
00:34:41
guess wow that was a good cold read man Rush this is for people only listen to this show there's a guy holding his
00:34:48
rectum area can I say that and uh a photo of a dozen eggs and I guess
00:34:54
they're up is behind Dutch man it says hospitalized but I I feel like it would
00:35:00
it would be more rushed to the hospital after inser inserting 15 hardboiled eggs in his behind while under the influence
00:35:08
of drugs this caused abdominal pain no [ __ ]
00:35:13
prompting emergency omelet shells or no shells shells or no
00:35:19
shells he wants to know can we get this guy on the phone um despite the unusual
00:35:24
nature of the situation doctors weren't Baff uh they were able to treat him
00:35:30
successfully patient made a full recovery and even ate the omelet so okay
00:35:35
this is an obscure impression this is Bobby Kennedy to Jack Kennedy in 1962 when the Cuban Missile Crisis was
00:35:43
going on and maybe we're going to blow up the world he says what do we do when the world asks why and so that's what I
00:35:49
do the world asks why I don't care what drug why so many eggs there's no no drug
00:35:55
called a oh this is ass eggs okay yeah oh let me try asex and uh after about 12
00:36:03
I know in my own experience I just that's where I put a cap on it I barely
00:36:09
ever get to 12 and then there's three extra ones and someone's like listen while we're here there's three more why
00:36:16
don't we just go for the record I don't know man can I can I insert something here that there's that
00:36:22
I needed to mention before we go to the next thing so on the show there's people
00:36:28
who kind of take care of you so you know there's jod who's designing all the wigs
00:36:33
this is oh on SNL oh we're back to SNL sorry no yeah go ahead on SNL and I keep
00:36:39
forgetting to mention her but she has a very cool name her name is Inga threr that's a pretty cool name and she she do
00:36:47
she gets my wig together and does all the stuff and the pinning and the glue and everything and Morgan's my wardrobe
00:36:53
person and Jody and of course Louie is the uh Prosthetics guy
00:36:58
who made me as we always say best of the best over there I just wanted to put that in yeah they're all they're all
00:37:03
great Under Pressure because they're just used to it it's all there is is pressure on the show it's a welcome to
00:37:10
pressure cooker I'm your host yeah welcome to okay next one let's
00:37:15
see I would watch pressure cooker that sure okay uh okay I'll read this one 84y
00:37:22
old doctor oh my God another one Ram's colonoscopy
00:37:30
scope why are starting with the these scope up the rectum of unmedicated
00:37:37
patient and couldn't hear ma'am screaming because he didn't have his hearing aid in so the doctor didn't have
00:37:44
his hearing aid routine procedure turned into a frightening ordeal for a patient the
00:37:50
patient woke up screaming during a colonoscopy and the doctor didn't realize what was going on because the
00:37:58
reports say that he didn't have his hearing aids team couldn't communicate with prad
00:38:04
either and finally the doctor is accused of allowing an unlicensed surgical tech to perform part of the procedures
00:38:10
including inserting the colonoscopy scope there we go guy the end
00:38:16
like Dana this is the news this is the only thing that happened this week two things what's going on
00:38:23
um I I you know I want to follow up I want to I want to know what happens with this gentleman I want to follow up on
00:38:30
this in the uing week so you're getting your colonoscopy MH I guess so now
00:38:35
you're in pain they can't watch you scream like you don't really even need to hear it you're going ah and he's so
00:38:41
involved and no one in the room it must have been a real rag tag operation
00:38:46
because no one else is there to tap on the shoulder and say this guy's screaming I I can hear yeah and he
00:38:52
screamed but then the other guy was unlicensed so he doesn't give a [ __ ] so it all sounds a bit
00:38:58
sketch what did he go to a community hospital inside Disneyland I mean what's
00:39:03
the thing I mean you know they they have anesthesia they go count backwards you
00:39:09
know and then you wake up in the bed all cozy so I don't know you're you're in a real place that's what a real place is I
00:39:15
was at a Laker game once we're going back to that and one of the guys fell on us M and the guy next to me took the
00:39:23
worst of it and they took him to the Laker game Hospital underneath there's like a medical center so maybe
00:39:29
it was done there and you can shoot hoops while you're in the bed stuff that yeah you just go in there and then just
00:39:35
sneak by the waight room and grab some Viking in out of a bowl okay next one anything other than a colonoscopy we
00:39:42
will take anything anything without related to okay okay this girl I saw
00:39:47
this happen the other day and I couldn't film it this is not me filming it but I had this exact same thing happen this is
00:39:53
someone getting on the freeway and there's a woman on a mhm is this lady
00:39:59
seriously going on the bird scooter in heels you see this her little
00:40:05
like cell phone this is Heather on the way to work yeah that look that look like
00:40:12
Heather yeah so she is riding if you can't see it no
00:40:18
helmet regular woman just on her way to work heels dressed up carrying a purse I think and going to work taking the
00:40:25
freeway the uh yeah phone dangling oh she had her phone dangling on her arm another distraction
00:40:32
and I saw a guy on the freeway doing this and I thought what are you doing
00:40:40
like you can't even just in a car you're unsafe and then all it takes is just
00:40:45
brushing against this poor woman no I don't in New York they have these Lanes
00:40:50
now you so you're crossing the street you have people coming like 40 miles an hour they're basically motorcycles they
00:40:56
don't have helmets they're electric bicycles City Bank and other other
00:41:01
vehicles are just wishing by and then in La they have they don't have a helmet they're in traffic so I don't understand
00:41:08
how this became a thing but I think you have to really tell you what I want
00:41:14
here's what I want from a motorcycle type thing I don't want too much noise like in Malibu where they're so loud
00:41:20
they scare the [ __ ] out of me and I almost crashed right but I also don't want Dead Silence like electric because
00:41:26
I need to know what going on you need to hear someone because when motorcycles come up between traffic yeah it scares a
00:41:33
driver and also you're kind of drifting around or you might change lanes it's all scary Dan it's scary out
00:41:39
there go ahead next they're called organ donors people that's a good ending
00:41:45
that's true okay this is Heather pay attention this is for tattoo has a few
00:41:50
tattoos right okay this is what some people are doing if they're more extreme
00:41:57
in okay I haven't heard of this hole is then made in the skin using a dermal
00:42:02
punch punch space for the anchor to be inserted Under the Skin this base has
00:42:08
small holes that allow tissues to even in a implant stable once set and
00:42:14
stabilized the stud is attached on top the skin heals around the Imp
00:42:21
creating a decorative piece of body art that's it a small hole that's okay
00:42:27
anything a star yeah you could put anything that guy put a d was that what it was a
00:42:33
d put a letter that is raised like Braille in your hand go ahead you have a
00:42:39
question hand was my hand and I reveal and I reveal it what if it was was a d for Dana or
00:42:46
Davey your partner I don't know it could should have been D and D we should promote that
00:42:53
but um yeah so there it's all that tissue growing and stuff and you have a a tattoo or an you know you have a
00:42:59
little uh Egyptian Sphinx on the top of your hand yeah I don't love that's not
00:43:05
dimensional yeah Heather have you heard of this before or it's oh it's been
00:43:10
around what look at how out of it I am do you have a tattoo well I just saw that video
00:43:17
and I'm like I have two tattoos but I'm not I'm not into uh that you know like
00:43:24
people that do their eyes black that's really might be the worst one that I've seen more piercing pi oh piercing yeah
00:43:31
okay you're right you're right you see people who go up and up and up and then they kind of have a neck just a neck
00:43:37
tattoo all around looks like they have a per a neck brace to me looks uncomfortable even though it's and then
00:43:43
they start to creep up on the face and under the eye and around the hairline I'm like okay either you're going to be
00:43:50
in the show business or you're going to be on the unemployment line with the yeah the only job you can have is
00:43:55
working at Arby's or yeah there's it's really limiting because I saw on even you know sometimes
00:44:04
you have a job where they say you have to cover your tattoos you have to wear long sleeves at work I saw just even a
00:44:10
sports show I was shocked that the guy had the neck tattoos with a suit on
00:44:16
because I it made me realize oh I guess they're not hiring those guys or they're
00:44:22
covering it because a lot of people have some stuff but I rarely see those tattoos on those shows there's still
00:44:28
some sort of corporate edict where they don't really want tattoos
00:44:34
they don't really want them when I was a kid you'd see a a World War II guy probably in his 60s by that point and he
00:44:41
would just have an anchor on his shoulder that the old that was it you know and it was like he was in the Navy
00:44:48
and he had an anchor so I think um I would just have a microphone tattoo or
00:44:53
something or a standup stage you know kind of like impr stand up stage I'm
00:44:59
obsessed with show business or the name of all your specials down your
00:45:04
own even the new one hea Heather said your new name I told him already yeah
00:45:10
come and get some come and get some that's a good name for Special now that was that expression around before I
00:45:16
started doing it come and get some um as a figure of speech maybe I mean maybe it's like a fight come and
00:45:22
get some or it's like the uh MPA Kettle ringing the bell at 5:00 come and get
00:45:28
some more uh but also rackam has been around
00:45:34
but I like rackam uh okay and then what's the next one let's
00:45:40
see hang on let me see what this is oh I this is interesting this is a 3D printed
00:45:47
neighborhood this would affect construction yeah this is a 3D printed
00:45:53
neighborhood outside Austin Texas where 100 homes were built using AI and Robotics it's crazy they're made by a
00:45:58
company called icon who's developing Sleek energy efficient homes that come decked out with solar panels thick
00:46:05
concrete walls and a pretty gorgeous space but the craziest part they're actually affordable by using 3D
00:46:11
automation icon can make these houses faster and cheaper than anyone else they can fit the core structure of a home in
00:46:17
24 hours and although 3D printing Tech has slower than we thought it's finally starting to happen because icon also
00:46:23
made the first 3D printed hotel and another suburban community in Texas is on way there's so much more here but by
00:46:29
3D printing homes they could actually solve the housing crisis think about it prices have skyrocketed because of a
00:46:35
supply shortage so by rapidly increasing home production for a fraction of the cost young people may actually be able
00:46:40
to afford a home and these houses are beautiful it's a no-brainer so fire up the 3D printers and you know if they
00:46:47
listen all I got from that if they can make it fast make it cheaper and people
00:46:52
can buy houses that would be great that's that's the posit I mean the negative is it takes away from someone
00:47:00
who does those jobs you know what I mean add someone want house in a redwood Grove that has some history to it that
00:47:07
was the Baby Boomers and now you're just uh give me a square Cub a dollhous
00:47:12
that's a little larger basically yeah you used to go I like this because it's Spanish I like this because it has
00:47:18
history now or in New York it's built in 192 now it's like give me a a shelter
00:47:24
literally just a square maybe they look cool I don't know and maybe they could be like they looked good they look like real houses I would probably 30 grand or
00:47:31
so I don't really wherever you go there you are and I've always said to people you don't you
00:47:38
you live here in your brain and your body you know you occupy a house it's
00:47:44
not where you live good night little wisdom alone no it's true sometimes when I used to get mad or sad and then I go
00:47:50
I'm going to go to Hawaii and I'm like wait I'm still going to be there so you're trying to you're like getting
00:47:56
away from your problems but the truth is you're just thinking all the same stuff in a new location right and everything
00:48:01
you own owns you back in some way you have to maintain it ensure it use it
00:48:07
yeah yeah that's true okay I got a lot more wisdom I'll do it on this episode you just maybe just scribble it down and
00:48:13
email it to me I got 10 okay oh this was a funny one because you know this is
00:48:18
late but a Halloween people do different you know Wayne's World costumes or Bench Warmers this one's a pretty good one for
00:48:26
a scene in grown-ups so not only they dress up like us but they did a scene they put work into it that's
00:48:34
interesting this is a scene from the movie you've never seen I'm sure Dana shot by shot that's Spade when the I had
00:48:39
red short that's me running away yeah that's Bui with the the cast cast on
00:48:45
yeah Kevin James pulls a hamstring they don't have a lot to work with there a small
00:48:51
backyard but I it's working Spade face down and
00:48:58
Chris Rock runs like that in the movie it's pretty accurate so far
00:49:04
Sandler Sandler picks up the dog yeah that's heavy that's a heavy dog that's a
00:49:10
big dog frame by frame oh still going oh yeah the arrows in the air and there's
00:49:18
Schneider he's excited because he's going to win that's pretty good an arrow Landing
00:49:23
his foot wow geez isn't that good let's get him let's get him a deal
00:49:31
with Happy Madison to do a movie we've already done no do another movie but that was good
00:49:37
for using a small backyard lot of cuts pretty accurate low budge but uh you
00:49:44
know plus the half of the scene that was an ACDC song in the real
00:49:50
movie but grown-ups has P colada in that in in the movie which is also could be
00:49:57
the hooki greatest song I love I love the song it's got a great story that no one even listens to I've told you this I
00:50:04
know I totally understand oh we we're going to have to cut the music oh we
00:50:09
just got word because it's the P colad song but we can't afford Jack's [ __ ] on
00:50:15
this show damn we'd have to pay oh it's good they did a good job so just picture
00:50:21
if you like coladas you know what kind I'm not going to say it want to get in trouble don't pull us down can we just
00:50:28
hum that song because it's a guy lives with a girl and he sees a personal ad
00:50:35
about someone that likes all these things they used to have personal ads instead of Tinder yeah and then he reads
00:50:42
it next to his girlfriend he goes it sounds mean but I was sort of bored in the situation and I I said oh you like
00:50:50
all these things so do I let's go meet so he sneaks out the next day to meet
00:50:55
her and he walks in and it's his girlfriend two things I love about it one is that it's just so silly and so
00:51:02
ridiculous and two is it's just all these uh friends are doing it with you that Chris Rock comes in sh you know
00:51:08
it's just funny nick Schwartz whoever was in it I don't yeah it's very Charming it's a Charming funny movie
00:51:16
movie is charming P Colada's song is charming and uh let's keep going available on live streaming wherever you
00:51:22
get your live streamings Kim Kardashian visits fashion archive oh this is where they're keeping
00:51:29
not her closet but where she keeps more of her stuff just want to see where I've
00:51:35
been and where I want to go this is everybody in their closet
00:51:41
30,000 pieces of thousands of clothes I think I have like 30,000
00:51:46
pieces God dang never seen photos organized this is so fun to see your
00:51:52
style Evolution fun I would throw up Terri sort of style wise go back to the
00:51:57
stuff that you used to wear well I don't know oh that's like my biggest insecurity is find I like she shopping
00:52:03
at her own store relationship is going to be like it's so easy that I have my closet and it's just I have my balenci
00:52:10
Yaga room and I'm like okay and you know have to think about it yeah but I also
00:52:15
for a long time think' been so dependent on Kanye team when it comes to my style
00:52:23
I mean I've always had Kanye there as like this crutch to teach me so much about fashion and having that not be
00:52:31
there as my crutch to like guide me has really forc me to figure it out on my
00:52:36
own do you remember when Kanye cleaned out your closet I love how they're un did you keep
00:52:42
those my relationship own okay that's enough I mean I'd
00:52:49
say well do you need advice from Kanye if if you say to some kind of designer
00:52:55
of clothes can I 30,000 clothes pieces of clothing in here you're going to have a few and
00:53:02
something's going to work something's going to work and then once again weight management you don't want to go too thin
00:53:07
or too heavy and then you have 30,000 things that you can't fit into so she
00:53:12
has to be very careful that's or she probably fits into all of them it just
00:53:18
where do you start I'd be so overwhelmed I couldn't even see straight because I have a storage unit literally use
00:53:24
nothing from it cannot get rid of of it Warren Grant talks about this all the time everyone does this and then one
00:53:31
month they lapse and they sell everything which happened to Kanye they s happened to Paris Hilton so you have
00:53:37
to it's more stressed because you have to pay every month or they just pull it and then they can sell it and I don't
00:53:44
know what's in there but I don't want to throw it away but nobody wants it and I don't want it but I'm scared of it it's
00:53:49
all sentimental yeah I mean I just can't stand buying clothes in a clothing St I
00:53:56
just I so I'm terrible I just have black t-shirts and then you know where I got this you this [ __ ] photo shoot don't
00:54:04
you say it photo shoot shut up and you walked with it well a guy said I'll see
00:54:09
if you can take it and I kept walking and it was 98 let's get out of here
00:54:16
let's get out of here and then walking waited for me near his car when we were all leaving he goes you're taking the
00:54:22
jacket without permission badass yes
00:54:28
shoplifter but I don't know I went into the Gap and I walked around and I don't
00:54:33
know and then you go in the dressing room I just couldn't find anything long they tell you hey you need anything what
00:54:39
about now you're in a different aisle now yeah they they knock they knock how's that how's that pant how's
00:54:48
that pant going how's your pant feeling how's your wiener in there everything okay well how do you answer to that how
00:54:54
how how's that pants it's always singular it's a horror show man I don't
00:54:59
know if I'm supposed to put my leg in the hole or where I need I need help I
00:55:07
need I don't like overzealous salesperson yeah how about when you're
00:55:13
eating and they go how those first couple bites going yeah how's that taste
00:55:18
how that's tasting for you did you chew it and then how was the chewing mhm you like our forks forks good so far mhm
00:55:26
Forks holding all the food on the fork oh wait a minute now let me get this straight you're opening your mouth
00:55:31
and using a metal device to shove the it into your orifice yes guilty is Char is
00:55:38
that going good so you like the restaurant that's what you're saying uhhuh and then sometimes you get that that sort of almost sexual aggression
00:55:45
you liking it huh how you like that Camari huh want to have more of it want
00:55:50
some more I'll get you do with it I'll get you some more Kari that's your that's your thing get you some jamming
00:55:56
it in there can I have your leftovers what does that mean uh yeah
00:56:04
taking it with you by the way I like when they I like when you act Rich because you feel like an [ __ ] I don't
00:56:10
eat everything you want me to put that in a box right I go I want to forget I was here they're
00:56:16
like where are you by the way in your fantasy story what restaurant at a restaurant with a bunch of food around
00:56:23
me like this the Beverly Hills Hotel scallop potatoes and everything and I eat three bites and I go that's good and
00:56:29
they go you want to take this to go and then I feel guilty and I go yes then I leave it on the hostess stand and when I
00:56:34
walk out well when I go on one of those Asian fusion restaurants with you I know I don't really have to order I don't
00:56:41
have to order because you're going to order like nine things and I do order L little bit but that's great because I
00:56:47
don't have to order because it's just like yeah and then I go you're saying everything but the word
00:56:52
koi I know what you're doing because I hate ordering and so it's just so cool I just don't order you yeah okay so um
00:57:01
we'll do one more we got time for one more pick a really good one yeah I don't know if this is
00:57:06
good what is this whatever the best one is okay here it is I don't know I don't
00:57:12
know what this is at all let me see turned cussing out bosses into a viral business and honestly it's genius if
00:57:17
you've ever wanted to tell your boss or cooworker how feel but you don't really want to lose your job this guy does it
00:57:23
for you you submit an anonymous complaint and will show up to your work and rip them a new one while also
00:57:30
saying your complaints verbatim he comes into work every day with the same gray plaid button up with gray undershirt
00:57:37
Heather scribbling out what she's gonna have this guy he has some help but if they're not in your area they can also
00:57:42
make phone calls to your boss and do the same thing he has turned cussing out bosses okay stop interesting so you hire
00:57:49
him you hire someone as a surrogate for you to go in and cuss out your boss but
00:57:56
first of all this is so as because I could see obviously you'll probably get fired so I could see this service for
00:58:04
breaking up with someone MH you hire someone to go tell them hey it's not working out in a nice
00:58:11
middleman way maybe is that Poss that's possible Right Heather what do you um
00:58:17
H you'd be hiring absolutely horrible the person cannot look at you in the eye they can do other things with you in
00:58:23
your body but canot look at you in the eye oh yeah oh the guy oh it' be horrible no
00:58:29
I could say only women can hire him to break up with guys that's better now of course it's horrible I'm
00:58:36
saying would people do it it's the only thing worse than a text breakup I would
00:58:41
hire someone to go to the IRS and break the news that it's just not happening this year with Dana Garner you know look
00:58:48
I can't make I'll I'll get you in a couple years I would hire a guy to do that you know that's just not working
00:58:54
with you paying just yeah just not it's not happening this year whatever you think you're getting from me think again
00:59:00
this is my surrogate and the guy I'm thinking of is right there on the screen
00:59:06
I will pay I say David Spade uh I work with David Spade he's saying he's seen
00:59:11
what you're doing with the money that he's putting in he doesn't like it and now he's cutting you guys off he's
00:59:16
tapping out I'm here representing him he's yeah he's tapped out he doesn't like what's going on no hard feelings
00:59:22
he's just not pay anymore yeah mhm yeah I had a an accountant once that he had a
00:59:28
little room in his office with no windows and they would put the heat up to like 100° and then we had the IRS
00:59:35
guys go in there they'd be like okay sure that's a deduction what the [ __ ] I got get oh just to get rid of them oh
00:59:41
that's great drench and sweat they're cramping up it's okay man you know cramping up ride it all off just send us
00:59:48
5% not a bad idea make it uncomfortable I heard when you go to Burger King there's those little plastic seats
00:59:55
and all these fast food restaurants because they don't want you to stay it's uncomfortable you just get through your
01:00:01
lunch and you're like I'm not Rel let's get out of here okay let's do some comedy writing I'll do some comedy
01:00:06
writing with you there's Burger King there's Dairy Queen what's
01:00:14
next Jack in the Box Jack I guess that's kind could
01:00:19
be king queen and Jack all right well we wrote something
01:00:25
yeah okay Jesus can't figure out who to go to you know either the Dairy Queen
01:00:31
the Burger King or the jack off in the box that was the joke I did in high school for my friends and that that's a
01:00:37
good one killed them when they were stoned trying to meet girls I saw and I
01:00:44
didn't want to tell Heather this it looks like they're closing my favorite Wendy's on Sunset I don't if they're
01:00:50
closing it but they put the green fence then you don't want a green fence around that means reconstru ruction or tear
01:00:57
down and when I'm on my street and there's a green fence I'm like well two years starting now of trucks beep beep
01:01:06
bulldozers cement trucks blocking stop Alto go
01:01:14
around they're making a skims near me and uh which is Kardashians
01:01:20
company Hallelujah used to be called spandex right now now she called it SK
01:01:26
used to be called uh granny panties like we have the sexiest highest waisted
01:01:32
beige Underpants I'm like obviously selling to women not men uh so it's not
01:01:40
it is what it is but anyway they're building it ripping it down there's a crane that was 300 feet tall the other day ago everyone's stopping me go around you
01:01:48
can't drive damn it you're you're saying they're they're throwing out your precious wend wendes and putting in
01:01:56
Wendy's can I ask you a question because I haven't been to Wendy's in a long long time 60s what do you buy at Wendy's
01:02:05
that's so good I mean what's there why why why why Wendy's Dana speak to that you're like
01:02:13
you have the floor uh you know it's tough I love the
01:02:19
problem is there's a Burger King across which is really you know you're in a fatso area because like on the freeway
01:02:26
they have Wendy's McDonald's Burger King like all in a row Dairy Queen so
01:02:31
obviously people are like picking choose your poison so I think if I had to put
01:02:37
him in order I go to I go to McDonald's the most uh but at Wendy's I would get a single cheese MH mustard only and um the
01:02:46
fries are not bad they're not my favorite but they're good D Coke that's
01:02:51
it well if Bobby has his way I mean it's gonna there's going to be a lot of stuff
01:02:56
about fast food he's gonna what if he's the guy there with a hard hat going we're starting right here oh yeah I'll
01:03:03
have a double I'll have a a double Wendy's with cheese and a milkshake and there no no it's me now you're not
01:03:09
getting [ __ ] what is robot Bobby Kennedy Jun I like a single cheese and a and a
01:03:17
booster shot you're not getting you're not getting any of that but how big
01:03:23
would his program be if he's individually in one Wendy's just trying to stop a few people so it's probably
01:03:29
not going to be that bad you know unless he creates robots with the AI you know I
01:03:34
don't think you should be having this food I think quite frankly it's poison
01:03:40
and you shouldn't be eating it so I'm here by shutting down Wendy's and get the [ __ ] out of here David SP sunset in
01:03:47
LaBrea I I love you and Joe Dirt but the podcast just isn't
01:03:52
working it's not working we should have him come on and teach us about nutrition
01:03:58
because you need some nutrition up Dana we all do uh absolutely I think it's probably probably he'll do good I assume
01:04:05
you know I'm always an I'm like is it bad that I'm eating Captain Crunch still every morning oh my God that's the worst
01:04:11
[ __ ] available here is the fan deal because there are no Solutions only tradeoffs and policy yeah so what's
01:04:20
worse people going to fast food places and dying of diseases and being obese or
01:04:26
you go to McDonald's and there's a government guy there with a hat on I'd like you to step on this scale sir first
01:04:32
okay right and here's what you can order a lettuce Burger yeah you should be able
01:04:38
to pick want to pick shitty stuff yeah but but I I would think people it should be
01:04:46
a treat not like your staple ideally because it's expensive you can get a
01:04:51
this is educational alert a sweet potato and some SP and maybe a little can of albacore tuna
01:04:59
for like a buck 50 at a you know at a kind of Ralph 7-Eleven yeah yeah so you
01:05:05
can eat eat well is cheap eating and fast food like you do you go out every day and you drop like 20 bucks on a
01:05:12
burger you get in that car and you go I love everything like you do like you
01:05:17
know you know how you you you do and your people you know how you are yeah all right I think that's a good bang
01:05:23
ending I think that's good also I wanted to say sweet
01:05:28
potatoes okay swear I I know what are you gonna do man
01:05:34
you like it you like her you like to live in Kuba man they tell you what to do they tell you what to think man they
01:05:39
treat you like an animal I'm here I want my [ __ ] human rights I want some potato okay for the
01:05:46
fans anyone who's listening to this late at night there was uh when Scarface is getting
01:05:54
interrogated the chief interrogator I could tell his voice is being overdubbed because I got an ear you know and I
01:06:01
believe the voice that was used was Mr Charles dering which was an actor from that era oh I love Charles dering I was
01:06:08
thinking of Bruce D but Charles dering I believe that was his name and he he overdubbed that man's uh that whatever
01:06:16
his he was in the beginning the interrogation scene the beginning of Scarface when he first lands in America
01:06:23
trivia trivia for the people in the comments MH okay and I will have an
01:06:29
announcement on the show next week that's a cliffhanger okay Tyson and five okay I
01:06:37
say decision Tyson I can't bet against Tyson
01:06:43
I just can't I can't do it so Tyson this ision okay okay because they're going to make him go all the way I think for more
01:06:49
money I think according to my fake calculations yeah all right we'll see
01:06:54
see you next week see you next week week everybody this has been a presentation
01:06:59
of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather
01:07:06
Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it
01:07:12
[Music]

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Episode Highlights

  • Courtside Awkwardness
    Sitting courtside can be awkward when balls come your way.
    “I feel bad we five balls came to us.”
    @ 00m 06s
    November 15, 2024
  • Defending Bronny James
    A heartfelt defense of Bronny James and his journey in basketball.
    “I will defend him all day long.”
    @ 03m 27s
    November 15, 2024
  • Michael Jordan's Golf Comment
    A humorous exchange about golf skills with Michael Jordan.
    “You're not very good, are you?”
    @ 13m 59s
    November 15, 2024
  • SNL Photo Shoot Memories
    A nostalgic recount of a photo shoot with Molly Shannon and David Chappelle.
    “Molly got a sequin red dress on, she looked great!”
    @ 25m 51s
    November 15, 2024
  • Bizarre News: Egg Incident
    A man hospitalized after inserting 15 hardboiled eggs into his rectum while on drugs.
    “He was holding his rectum area and a photo of a dozen eggs.”
    @ 34m 48s
    November 15, 2024
  • 3D Printed Homes: A Solution?
    Exploring how 3D printing technology could address the housing crisis with affordable homes.
    “By rapidly increasing home production, young people may actually be able to afford a home.”
    @ 46m 35s
    November 15, 2024
  • Kim Kardashian's Closet
    Kim reveals her 30,000-piece wardrobe and her style evolution.
    “This is so fun to see your style evolution.”
    @ 51m 46s
    November 15, 2024
  • Cussing Out Your Boss
    A guy offers a service to anonymously cuss out your boss for you.
    “It's genius if you've ever wanted to tell your boss how you feel.”
    @ 57m 12s
    November 15, 2024
  • Fast Food Dilemmas
    A humorous discussion on the struggles of fast food choices and nutrition.
    “Eating fast food should be a treat, not a staple.”
    @ 01h 04m 46s
    November 15, 2024

Episode Quotes

Key Moments

  • Courtside Experience00:06
  • MJ Golf Story13:59
  • Nostalgic Photo Shoot25:38
  • Bizarre News34:41
  • 3D Printed Homes45:53
  • Silly Movie Charm50:55
  • Kim's Closet51:46
  • Fast Food Talk1:04:46

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

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