00:00:09
hey it's your boy Mike The Situation
00:00:12
Santino welcome to statute of
00:00:17
limitations it's the ultimate lineup
00:00:20
it's Cooks this is not my fault that I
00:00:22
stole this car it's conman this is my
00:00:26
chance I can be rich for life it's want
00:00:29
to be King Pins we all made together
00:00:33
$500,000 and queen pins it was basically
00:00:36
a lounge of
00:00:37
criminals these are stories of the
00:00:40
nonviolent lucky punks and Robin hoods
00:00:43
that Dodge the law I could have gone to
00:00:45
prison not jail prison because here's
00:00:48
the situation baby it's only a matter of
00:00:51
time before the statute of limitations
00:00:54
is up and technically you might walk
00:00:56
away Scot free but don't take her from
00:00:59
me guys I'm obviously no lawyer this is
00:01:04
statute of
00:01:12
limitations what's up everybody it's
00:01:14
your boy Mike The Situation sortino on
00:01:17
this episode we have a car collector of
00:01:19
other people's cars and a young couple
00:01:22
who took the law into their own hands
00:01:25
with the help of some FBI t-shirts you
00:01:27
know the ones with FBI the front female
00:01:31
body inspector on the back man what a
00:01:33
country they sell everything at Venice
00:01:36
Beach let's get right into it here's a
00:01:38
young New Yorker playing a real life
00:01:40
game of Grand Theft Auto in the Empire
00:01:43
State though guys that's no joke here's
00:01:47
Moses hey what's up my name is Moses I
00:01:49
ran a valet scam it was over 20 years
00:01:52
ago it's beyond the statue of
00:01:53
limitations so I want to tell you about
00:01:56
it so had a crazy ass childhood I grew
00:01:59
up in a Time where you know crack
00:02:00
cocaine hit the streets of New York and
00:02:03
it was decimating neighborhoods and
00:02:05
households including mine a lot of times
00:02:07
you know we went hungry we went without
00:02:10
heat we ate still food it was rough and
00:02:14
for me everybody my heroes everybody
00:02:16
looked up to was the neighborhood drug
00:02:18
dealers you know the fancy cars the
00:02:20
beautiful women when I entered my
00:02:23
pre-teen you know I'm selling drugs you
00:02:25
I hit the streets running you know
00:02:27
that's what I did I always had a small
00:02:29
man complex you know 20 years ago I was
00:02:31
a scrapper you know I like five five
00:02:33
like 150 lbs back then Raymond that that
00:02:36
was like my right hand like he was
00:02:38
strong as me he was fast as me we was 18
00:02:41
failing at being a weed distributor I
00:02:44
smoked all the weed you know all the
00:02:45
pretty girls in the school smoked all my
00:02:47
weed so there was our weed business so
00:02:50
sitting there walk with my friend
00:02:51
Raymond down the street and we were
00:02:53
desperate like white stuff in the corner
00:02:54
of our mouth just actually hungry like
00:02:57
we don't even have energy to walk down
00:02:58
the street you know you just like I I
00:03:01
wish somebody would just like hand me a
00:03:03
bag of money well a bag of money just
00:03:05
dropped from the sky so as I'm thinking
00:03:08
this these crazy thoughts I'm walking by
00:03:11
this valet stand and I see this dude
00:03:13
look just like me got you know at the
00:03:15
time had braids had long braids had
00:03:17
tattoos everywhere and I see the
00:03:21
exchange so I'm like hold up they just
00:03:23
so freely just just giving it away like
00:03:25
like there's no problem you know what
00:03:27
I'm saying she look him down and nothing
00:03:30
thinking scheming I'm like yo I can do
00:03:34
that like you know mean start I turny to
00:03:36
raing I'm like yo what happen if we just
00:03:38
had like the the valet uniform and start
00:03:40
stealing cars and his biggest thing is
00:03:43
like where we going to get him so I'm
00:03:45
think I'm think I'm thinking my girl
00:03:46
Alicia Hunter mom's they make wedding
00:03:49
dresses and suits and everything I'm
00:03:50
like hey I'm going hit up Alicia you
00:03:52
know she going to put it together for me
00:03:53
all right boom I'm thinking in my mind
00:03:55
we're going to stay in Manhattan in New
00:03:57
Jersey but I didn't want to do the
00:03:58
restaurants I didn't want to do
00:03:59
something small I want to keep it big
00:04:01
just hit up like you know Broadway
00:04:02
Lafayette you know we're shaking there's
00:04:04
a lot of valet especially on the Friday
00:04:07
Saturday for big vents there was like
00:04:09
four or five 10
00:04:11
agencies we walked past just the scheme
00:04:14
on it as soon as we walk past valet dude
00:04:17
yelled at me and asked me why I wasn't
00:04:19
valet and cars and that's when things
00:04:21
went crazy cuz they actually thought we
00:04:24
was actually working so what we do we
00:04:27
get to
00:04:28
work so we're halfway doing the job for
00:04:31
me it was like an affirmation like oh
00:04:33
I'm supposed to be here doing this he I
00:04:35
mean so what we used to do is we had the
00:04:38
key to the car that we were stealing
00:04:39
obviously cuz we were driving it and
00:04:41
then we had the key to the car we were
00:04:42
bringing back so on the way back we
00:04:44
picked up the car for Violet and so it
00:04:47
was smooth so it wasn't like we were
00:04:49
just leaving with cars and not coming
00:04:51
back or anything we was part of the
00:04:52
circle of life
00:04:53
baby in the beginning I felt bad like
00:04:56
cuz I was thinking my mom like you just
00:04:58
giving me the key like you you know you
00:04:59
Ain going see his ever like you know
00:05:01
what I'm saying you know after a couple
00:05:02
joints after making some couple dollars
00:05:04
you know feeding some family I I didn't
00:05:06
care like I was I was on it at the
00:05:08
smaller joints you we would stay for
00:05:10
like an hour for me that was just like
00:05:11
my limit cuz soon as we come back to the
00:05:13
other car the first joint is gone so we
00:05:16
good money it so it's it's it's like
00:05:18
clock
00:05:19
work and then like you go up town you
00:05:22
know meet with this one dude and was
00:05:24
getting paid about anywhere from like
00:05:26
you know 3 to 5,000 per car depending on
00:05:28
what it was you know the biggest thing
00:05:29
that you could steal back then was the
00:05:31
Escalade with the double doors the all
00:05:33
black joints with the B surround system
00:05:36
in there smelling like vanilla ice and I
00:05:38
even think about it we was stealing the
00:05:40
stuff that was in the car before we can
00:05:42
get the car like you know we was like go
00:05:43
go the glove boxes and stuff like that
00:05:45
you know somebody had a couple dollars
00:05:46
somebody had a gun before you know some
00:05:48
weed so it was like little gift prizes
00:05:50
within the bigger prize and everything
00:05:52
so it was good money I came back we was
00:05:56
the hood saviors you mean and ain't
00:05:58
nobody went hungry that night it was
00:05:59
steak and lobster like a mobster for
00:06:02
weeks like you know what I mean like
00:06:03
people wanted spending their food stamps
00:06:05
that month like for real everybody in
00:06:07
the projects we took them school
00:06:09
shopping we able to help some of our
00:06:11
friends start up legitimate businesses
00:06:12
and stuff like that when we started
00:06:15
going to these bigger joints we talk we
00:06:16
was getting like 15 20 25 calls you know
00:06:19
and it was just like in the same amount
00:06:21
of time just moving
00:06:23
shaking I remember this one night it was
00:06:25
this one dude and he had this old red
00:06:28
Mustang like SE or something fast and
00:06:30
furious in the face with it you know
00:06:32
revving up unnecessarily like next to us
00:06:35
and so he looks at me he's like yo if
00:06:37
there's one scratch on this this is this
00:06:39
is going to be your ass don't mess up my
00:06:42
car the whole time that scene from
00:06:44
Ferris bules day off we stole the fraud
00:06:46
went enjoy ride I was like I'm just
00:06:47
going to hit the city hit the West Side
00:06:49
Highway real quick a couple times like I
00:06:51
need some time with your car this one's
00:06:53
personal I wanted to get him like you
00:06:55
know what I'm saying yeah like you mean
00:06:57
that going see this you know what I'm
00:06:58
saying so boom took the joint so I'm
00:07:02
headed back to the site I pull up to the
00:07:04
valet stand be before I can even get
00:07:06
down there I seen it just swarm with
00:07:09
police B mad police like police
00:07:11
everywhere like somebody got bodied I'm
00:07:13
like boom dude the muscle call he must
00:07:15
have have some type of lowjack system on
00:07:17
you know what I'm
00:07:23
saying I think I'm almost dooky on
00:07:25
myself for real like I like literally
00:07:28
like I like wet farted on myself to keep
00:07:30
it real I was like clenching my butt
00:07:32
cheeks together dumb hard pulling up I
00:07:35
just see like I could have turn and just
00:07:37
went somewhere else but for some reason
00:07:39
I just can't stop I was I was like
00:07:41
paralyzed with fear like it was just
00:07:45
like the new was down kind of get some
00:07:46
of the wet for out of there like I'm
00:07:48
just like driving into this like I'm
00:07:51
going to jail for Grand the father like
00:07:52
it's it's a rap it's over there he figur
00:07:53
this
00:07:58
out br bro that was way nasty man damn
00:08:02
Moses anyway so much for a clean getaway
00:08:05
they should arrest him for giving us
00:08:07
that visual right for Real come on is he
00:08:09
going to get popped or have an accident
00:08:13
next on statute of
00:08:15
limitations we are back guys with more
00:08:18
statute of limitations as Moses a guy
00:08:21
stealing fast cars for some fast cash is
00:08:24
about to have his career of crime come
00:08:26
to a screeching halt and he's in a
00:08:28
stolen whip when he spots the cops ahead
00:08:31
and he damn near causes an accident
00:08:33
check this
00:08:35
out I pull up to the valet stand be I
00:08:38
seen his just sworn with police be mad
00:08:41
police but for some reason I just can't
00:08:42
stop I was I was like paralyzed with Fe
00:08:45
like I like I just like driving into
00:08:48
this like I'm going to jail for Grand
00:08:50
and father like it's it's a rap it's
00:08:51
over it they figur this out so almost on
00:08:54
myself the window was down kind of get
00:08:57
some of that wet for out of there and
00:08:58
then I like went past the cop he like
00:09:01
looked at the car and I just had to
00:09:03
throw in the white Bo how you doing just
00:09:05
and they didn't even look at me they pay
00:09:06
me no atten you say hi back nothing like
00:09:09
just let me go like they were like in
00:09:11
their business I go around the back of
00:09:13
the parking lot I projectile the vomit I
00:09:16
need some exist and just got out the car
00:09:19
and ran my ass
00:09:20
to so I'm stressed out all night all
00:09:23
night I know I like I know when my heart
00:09:26
that I'm going to jail like like I'm
00:09:27
already in jail like I'm like Harding in
00:09:29
myself like I'm in the mirror like
00:09:31
making my face look tough any given
00:09:34
moment they going to bang down my joint
00:09:36
for grant that F what do you know like I
00:09:38
don't know 7 8:00 in the morning knock
00:09:41
at the door man you I live in a hood
00:09:43
don't knock on my door like there's no
00:09:45
reason like if you know me you would
00:09:46
just walk in like you know what I'm
00:09:48
saying so my joy is just just just
00:09:50
beating out of my chest I'm almost at
00:09:52
the point that I'm accepted of it like
00:09:54
I'm almost ready to just go out and say
00:09:56
I did it you just take me away like you
00:09:58
know what I'm saying like whatever I
00:09:59
stood in front of the door for like it
00:10:01
felt like it was forever palms are
00:10:03
sweaty and so last minute I just like
00:10:06
concocted the story you know what I'm
00:10:08
saying I I'm a thinker at least that's
00:10:10
how I feel about myself it was some
00:10:12
[ __ ] ass story and I was confident
00:10:14
with I was like you know what I'm
00:10:16
saying I open the
00:10:21
door it's the police like everything is
00:10:23
is is done it wasn't like aggressive cop
00:10:27
it was a detective clean cut detective
00:10:29
and he says hey good morning sir this
00:10:32
would have been the friendliest arrest
00:10:34
ever right like what the hell is going
00:10:36
on say like he um we recovered some
00:10:38
stolen cars then I'm like like you're
00:10:41
trying to hold on here and one of the
00:10:43
cars happened to be
00:10:45
yours yo I forgot that I drove my car to
00:10:49
there so D shot at me so they thought I
00:10:52
was a
00:10:52
victim we never got caught it was just
00:10:55
like it was just too close of a call you
00:10:58
know it was crazy crazy but I never did
00:11:01
that
00:11:02
again I look in retrospect I look at all
00:11:04
the crime look at the madness I look how
00:11:07
I grew up and I don't I don't condone
00:11:10
this I don't condone crime but the the
00:11:12
passion and everything that I have from
00:11:14
it is like I apply it to legitimate
00:11:17
legal things today I'm actually a
00:11:19
Salesman I've sell Kirby Vacuums I've
00:11:22
sold gy memberships i s time share I'm a
00:11:25
dad um I'm a grandpa I have tons of
00:11:27
friends I I love I do so that's what it
00:11:30
is take it or leave it but that's my
00:11:33
story I love this statue of
00:11:36
limitations Moses got the break he so
00:11:39
desperately needed when he hit the
00:11:41
breakes on his life of crime now here's
00:11:43
a life lesson if your parents ever told
00:11:46
you you could be anything you want in
00:11:47
life it's kind of true just ask these
00:11:50
next two people cuz they decided to
00:11:52
impersonate a couple of federal agents a
00:11:55
crime that could have earned them 3
00:11:56
years in the federal prison it's a story
00:11:59
that involves a drug dealer a dog right
00:12:03
and one very lucky Duo here's Joe and
00:12:07
Todd hi I'm Joe I'm Todd and in the
00:12:10
early 2000s we impersonated Federal
00:12:13
officers and um committed Grand
00:12:17
th and now the statute of limitations is
00:12:20
up on this one so so we're admitting
00:12:23
this well we're going to tell you our
00:12:24
crazy story
00:12:27
crazy so yeah we met in college we were
00:12:30
both at the same bar and after a
00:12:33
football game yep we won and a little
00:12:36
embarrassing she was sitting next to me
00:12:39
while I was with my friends and we were
00:12:41
having a picture drinking contest and I
00:12:43
spilled little on her instead of
00:12:45
slapping me we got to talking and and
00:12:48
the rest is history yeah we ended up
00:12:50
dating for the rest of college and then
00:12:52
got out and got a place in uh Santa
00:12:54
Monica
00:12:57
together we loved our apartment it was
00:13:00
everything we dreamed of I put up fresh
00:13:02
flowers I had my big screen TV and we
00:13:05
even had room for our dog
00:13:10
Mac his friend Mike had a friend who
00:13:12
needed a place to stay we were going on
00:13:15
vacation and place was going to be empty
00:13:17
anyway and so and we needed someone to
00:13:19
feed our dog he said okay let's hook him
00:13:22
up and let him stay there so we get back
00:13:25
from our vacation which was awesome
00:13:27
lovely and walk in the front door and
00:13:30
everything is
00:13:35
gone worst of all he stole our
00:13:42
puppy so I don't know if you've ever
00:13:44
experience being robbed but there's no
00:13:46
feeling like it you feel violated you
00:13:49
feel betrayed you're afraid to stay in
00:13:53
your house just a punch to the gut man
00:13:55
you're constantly every noise you're
00:13:58
wondering if somebody's in there if it's
00:13:59
going to happen again now that they know
00:14:01
where you live even though there's
00:14:03
nothing left to take this guy cleaned us
00:14:06
out couch TV pictures off the wall
00:14:10
everything even our like dog bed was
00:14:12
gone like it literally looked like a
00:14:13
moving company had come in and
00:14:17
just we called Mike and we said you know
00:14:20
what the f your buddy just cleaned us
00:14:23
out and you know Mike was sounded as
00:14:26
shocked as we did but sympathized with
00:14:28
us and was able to give us the address
00:14:30
for where his buddy lived and so of
00:14:32
course we're hard charging we're going
00:14:34
to go get our stuff back and so dog and
00:14:36
our dog so we rolled over to this guy's
00:14:39
house and pounded on his door and then
00:14:41
he answered and you know I was this
00:14:44
close to Leading with my fist and and
00:14:47
asking questions after but you know we
00:14:49
ended up intimidating pretty good and he
00:14:53
unfortunately said that he owed his drug
00:14:56
dealer money and gave him all of our
00:14:59
possessions who gives a dog to a drug
00:15:02
dealer and that was the only way he
00:15:04
could think of to pay back what he owed
00:15:07
now we're in a situation where he
00:15:09
doesn't have our stuff but he knows who
00:15:10
has our stuff so we take it a step
00:15:12
further and we get him to tell us where
00:15:15
does his drug dealer live we tell him
00:15:17
now he owes us he owes us the name of
00:15:19
the dealer and I smash a bunch of his
00:15:22
stuff to show them we mean business
00:15:24
because in our minds we can go there to
00:15:27
get our stuff back so I know it sounds
00:15:30
crazy and at the time it felt crazy when
00:15:32
we got the address of the drug dealer
00:15:34
but we wanted revenge and he had our dog
00:15:38
so we we decided to take maners into our
00:15:40
own
00:15:43
hands I don't know neither of us really
00:15:45
has experience with drug dealers so
00:15:46
we're trying to think of how can we get
00:15:48
our stuff back without getting ourselves
00:15:50
into a dangerous situation and we're
00:15:52
trying to come up with some kind of plan
00:15:55
you can't just walk in there as Todd and
00:15:57
Joe I mean we need to be something scary
00:16:00
like the actual police or the FBI we do
00:16:04
live near Venice and we have seen those
00:16:07
t-shirts that they sell in the shops
00:16:09
those FBI t-shirts the female body
00:16:12
inspector we got a couple and uh went to
00:16:15
the costume store got a decent poster
00:16:19
with a lifik prop gun and aviators yeah
00:16:23
agent dangle y That's who we were and I
00:16:26
was agent Smith of course oh we printed
00:16:29
out a search warrant that we found on
00:16:31
Google that's right and since we had the
00:16:33
guy's name we actually put it on to make
00:16:35
it official yep yep so and we went and
00:16:38
served
00:16:40
him he was staying in Westchester in
00:16:43
this like really seedy place you look
00:16:46
like a badass babe so we pounded on the
00:16:48
door just like the movies then she
00:16:51
shouted federal
00:16:53
agents and he answers the door and we
00:16:55
kick it
00:16:57
open
00:17:02
and he falls back falls back this
00:17:04
scrawny little white
00:17:06
dude what you
00:17:09
doing first thing out of my mind is like
00:17:11
low-level drug dealer he's clearly not
00:17:13
running the show lip quivering eyes
00:17:16
watering and I'm like sit
00:17:21
down Joe don't play Man I mean listen
00:17:24
the fake outfits the fake warrant these
00:17:27
guys got balls right here it's about to
00:17:30
go down this right here is a movie what
00:17:33
happens when two regular folks
00:17:36
pretending to be the feds confront a
00:17:38
drug dealer I love this I don't know
00:17:40
about you guys but find out on statute
00:17:42
of limitations
00:17:45
next welcome back guys to statute of
00:17:47
limitations where a brave pair of people
00:17:50
Joe and Todd are pretending to be FBI
00:17:53
agents with a dealer who's got their
00:17:55
stuff including their dog this right
00:17:59
here we're done to playing around so
00:18:01
while most people would have just called
00:18:02
the cops they took the law into their
00:18:05
own hands I love this right here guys
00:18:07
now we're about to find out why they
00:18:10
made the perfect call check this
00:18:15
out first thing out of my mind is like
00:18:17
low-level drug dealer he's clearly not
00:18:19
running the show lip quivering eyes
00:18:22
watering and I'm like sit
00:18:25
down we know what you've been doing we
00:18:27
know who you you are we know who you run
00:18:29
with we know who you sell to we have
00:18:32
been watching your sorry ass for months
00:18:35
and we got you you're throwing jargon
00:18:37
out there cross state
00:18:39
Distributing intent to sell you money
00:18:43
laundering I mean you're giving him the
00:18:45
laund waving the warrant around a little
00:18:47
bit so so then I decided I'd be a little
00:18:50
good cop and start talking to him while
00:18:52
I yeah I took off through the rest of
00:18:54
the house looking for our dog looking
00:18:57
for our stuff I I called out to Mac
00:18:59
didn't hear him bark but I did see you
00:19:02
know drug
00:19:03
paraphernalia a gun on his desk actually
00:19:05
which is a little frightening it was a
00:19:07
good thing I didn't know about the gun
00:19:08
cuz I was going full Dangle on Mr dealer
00:19:11
I was saying like do you know what they
00:19:13
do to guys like you in federal prison
00:19:15
they will turn you into Burger you will
00:19:18
sideways keeping them distracted you
00:19:20
know what I mean uh I looked in the
00:19:22
bedroom looked in the kitchen uh tried
00:19:25
went through closets I did not see any
00:19:27
evidence of our stuff unfortunately but
00:19:29
in his bedroom I looked in the closet
00:19:31
and there was a safe he left the safe
00:19:33
open and so when I looked inside there
00:19:34
was a decent amount of cash in there so
00:19:38
you know I said to myself if we can't
00:19:39
get our stuff back I mean he's got to
00:19:41
compensate it somehow so there's I
00:19:44
pocketed all the cash and walked out and
00:19:47
I showed her the money and I had to have
00:19:49
a look see so I quickly looked around
00:19:51
the apartment and uh what did I find in
00:19:54
the closed back
00:19:56
bathroom yeah Mac our P yeah he was
00:20:00
happy to see us we didn't get the dog
00:20:02
bed back though but we got our dog no so
00:20:05
on the way out holding our dog our dog I
00:20:08
said you're we're still watching you
00:20:11
we're going to be watching you we know
00:20:12
this isn't your dog though so if you
00:20:14
don't want another felony on your record
00:20:16
we're taking no you could be free but
00:20:18
I'm taking the dog
00:20:20
right for a couple weeks we wondered
00:20:23
like did anyone see us leave was the
00:20:26
dealer going to come after us you know
00:20:28
fortunately for us we never heard from
00:20:29
Mike's friend or the drug dealer again
00:20:32
did get enough money to put a decent
00:20:36
upgrade on our place I mean we got a a
00:20:39
new love seat new couch a
00:20:41
TV uh I got new
00:20:44
PlayStation Matt got a new dog bed Matt
00:20:47
got a new dog bed got dishes and enough
00:20:51
money for a second dog yeah little
00:20:54
lucy at the time it felt good I don't
00:20:58
regret getting my dog back but I we
00:21:00
would never do something that stupid
00:21:03
again in hindsight if it had been
00:21:04
someone else on the other side of that
00:21:05
door we probably would have been dead or
00:21:09
severely hurt or in a lot different
00:21:11
situation yeah yeah the real FBI isn't
00:21:14
going to be pounding on our door no once
00:21:16
that time expired and we aren't stupid
00:21:19
enough to do it again no ever no never
00:21:22
or let anyone spend the night at our
00:21:23
house now that we have
00:21:25
nice and uh that's our story
00:21:30
I'm pretty sure guys if Big Daddy s
00:21:32
tried to impersonate an FBI agent today
00:21:34
the feds would come for me really really
00:21:36
hard but Joe and Todd pulled it off be
00:21:39
sure to check out some more stories of
00:21:41
everyday folks confessing some crazy
00:21:43
crimes I mik the situation Santino
00:21:46
reminding you being F guilty and feeling
00:21:49
guilty are two very very different
00:21:51
things trust me guys
00:21:55
peace this program is for entertainment
00:21:58
purposes only and it is not legal advice
00:22:01
the statute of limitations are
00:22:03
complicated and depend on many factors
00:22:06
if you need advice you should seek legal
00:22:08
counsel from a competent attorney in
00:22:11
your
00:22:13
[Music]
00:22:26
jurisdiction
00:22:32
yeah
00:22:33
[Music]
00:22:56
yeah
