00:00:00
oh my god seriously I like tell them 500
00:00:04
so she said um and I'm standing right
00:00:07
next to
00:00:08
her and she
00:00:10
goes she goes oh you have 500 and then
00:00:13
she puts her hand over the funy she goes
00:00:15
they want to know if that's per hour and
00:00:18
if you when do you start charging is it
00:00:20
from when you leave and and I was just
00:00:22
like holy [ __ ] they've got they actually
00:00:24
want to pay me some decent money and get
00:00:25
me to New York and so um we we settled
00:00:30
on a fee I got my paid for the first
00:00:32
time um what was awesome it was the
00:00:35
first ever trip kayen and I had done
00:00:36
away because she doesn't want to come on
00:00:38
any of these fishing business class
00:00:39
flights for two for two yeah wow yeah so
00:00:43
holy hi that's amazing yeah and that was
00:00:45
because I gave them an exclusive because
00:00:48
this by the end of that day the Jay Leno
00:00:50
show Jimmy Kimmel show they'd all been
00:00:54
and they just said look they said look
00:00:56
all the other shows are going to be in
00:00:57
touch with you but if you can give us
00:00:59
like a one month where you don't go on I
00:01:01
no it wasn't even that long two weeks I
00:01:03
think um because I ended up doing the
00:01:05
today I I did some other CBS shows and
00:01:07
then I did like today show and a few
00:01:09
others shortly after so I literally went
00:01:12
from being making a show in a shed that
00:01:15
I built myself like as and dug the
00:01:17
footings by hand mixed the concrete and
00:01:19
a conrete mixer built the little shed
00:01:21
put a computer in it and caught it and
00:01:23
uh tight lines Media or tight lines
00:01:25
television at the time went from there
00:01:28
to um sitting at the front of a plane
00:01:30
with Ken flying to New York on Broadway
00:01:33
in New York and have anyone seen the
00:01:35
pictures of like yeah the theater it's
00:01:37
ionic it is so they put us up in a suite
00:01:40
straight across the road from the edsan
00:01:42
theater beautiful um suite and every
00:01:45
time I looked out the window I could see
00:01:46
the salivan there I'm like [ __ ] tomorrow
00:01:48
I'm on there you know and it made me so
00:01:50
nervous Goosebumps and I'm like and and
00:01:54
I guess it was a mistake um but I
00:01:56
watched the an episode of The Late Show
00:01:59
cuz I've got a you know I'd not done a
00:02:02
TV interview in my life I'd not I'd not
00:02:04
done TalkBack radio I'd not done any
00:02:07
media I'd just been out with my mates
00:02:09
doing this outrageous stuff and it
00:02:11
always was always about scrambling to do
00:02:13
stuff but it was with guys that I knew
00:02:15
I've done nothing live so um I get over
00:02:19
there I'm like any mistake I made
00:02:21
there's no there's no stepping it back
00:02:23
or anything so I was incredibly nervous
00:02:24
about that I watched the show and the
00:02:27
guests were Robert Dao and alpacino who
00:02:29
were in a movie together they did the
00:02:31
top 10 and um Will Smith and I'm
00:02:35
watching these guys going back and forth
00:02:37
with David lman like like guys at the
00:02:40
top of the game like massive celebrities
00:02:42
but just how sharp their wits were
00:02:44
cracking jokes back and forth back and I
00:02:46
just like F I can't do that I'm going to
00:02:48
walk out on that stage and I'm just
00:02:50
going to clam up and I just like it it
00:02:52
made me so nervous and kayen did an
00:02:55
amazing job of boosting up my confidence
00:02:58
she was like you know what
00:03:03
um
00:03:08
[ __ ] she said you know what um being
00:03:11
yourself got you
00:03:13
here factu she's a good one yeah I got
00:03:17
some t tashes under here if youen man I
00:03:20
told you I can't talk about people yeah
00:03:23
I I tell what it's um oh mate it's it's
00:03:25
a it's a wonderful relationship you guys
00:03:27
have got and it's good that you um yeah
00:03:29
you can I appreciate everything she does
00:03:31
like oh thanks for the tissues
00:03:33
mate does someone tip you off I usually
00:03:36
have them up here it can get quite
00:03:38
emotional in here but um I was I had
00:03:40
them under the table cuz I thought oh we
00:03:41
won't need them M boy you'll be all
00:03:45
right no that's cool but I mean it's
00:03:47
it's obvious the fact that she let you
00:03:49
get a mortgage out on the house for this
00:03:51
for this wild dream and that's where and
00:03:53
that's where it literally landed both of
00:03:55
us we were in on Broadway New in New
00:03:57
York like the the epicenter of media
00:04:01
around the world you know and um and she
00:04:04
said look um I know what'll make you
00:04:07
feel more confident let's she goes it
00:04:09
always works let's go shopping and buy
00:04:11
you some new clothes and I was like [ __ ]
00:04:13
all nice try see I I give about as much
00:04:18
care about shopping as what cany gives
00:04:19
about fishing and and I that was the
00:04:21
last thing I was going to do I was like
00:04:22
no no I said thanks for the advice it's
00:04:25
great I am going to be myself someone
00:04:27
just going to wear shorts and yeah like
00:04:29
a half a t-shirt and like 34 34 caros or
00:04:32
something cuz they were my best pants
00:04:34
but I think that's that's that suited
00:04:36
that suited you you're you know you you
00:04:38
can't be something you're not that's
00:04:39
right it would it wouldn't have looked
00:04:40
right if you if you went out there in a
00:04:41
black suit dressed like [ __ ] Will
00:04:43
Smith yeah yeah exactly so I we went
00:04:45
across there and it was it was white
00:04:47
tongy day which was my son's um fourth
00:04:49
birthday so four years to the day
00:04:52
earlier I delivered my son in the front
00:04:54
seat of a truck and I that's another
00:04:56
story too I won't go down that but it
00:04:58
was ruthless um but um walked across the
00:05:02
road it was -6° it was snow everywhere
00:05:05
and all the New York locals were all
00:05:06
rugged up going about their daily
00:05:07
business and looking at me like who the
00:05:09
[ __ ] this guy skting I was skitting on
00:05:11
the black ice and my jandal the jandal
00:05:14
yeah yeah um toes are freezing we walked
00:05:17
through the backstage door just like we
00:05:18
were told to right on time and um a
00:05:21
young woman by the name of Anita said
00:05:23
look I'm your assistant while you're
00:05:24
here I'll get you anything you need and
00:05:26
you know welcome to the show and she
00:05:28
said David's really really looking
00:05:29
forward to meeting you and the booking
00:05:31
people Everyone I'd spoken to had said
00:05:33
the same thing and I'm like that's so
00:05:35
kind they know I'm a rookie they're
00:05:38
boosting my ego by by saying that and I
00:05:40
was like cool so do I get to go see them
00:05:42
now and we'll talk about what what we're
00:05:43
going to talk about for the interview I
00:05:45
don't no no you'll see David when you go
00:05:47
out on stage you'll be fine I'm thinking
00:05:49
[ __ ] they they've got no idea that I've
00:05:51
not done anything like this before but
00:05:53
anyway Kenny's still done a really good
00:05:55
job of building my confidence so we jump
00:05:56
in the lift go up the lift door is open
00:05:59
and and I see my name written on the
00:06:00
door with a star above it and my vision
00:06:03
honestly went blurry I thought [ __ ] I'm
00:06:05
going to pass like they think I'm a
00:06:07
celebrity like Will Smith or like and
00:06:10
I've just been you know I still f i was
00:06:13
bluffing my way onto t i was a I was an
00:06:15
imposter on TV in New Zealand and here I
00:06:18
was at the lman show and I'm going to
00:06:19
get found out like big time when I walk
00:06:22
out on that stage like they saying Fish
00:06:24
Out of Water now you know what it's like
00:06:25
for a m on the Dick of your
00:06:27
boat yeah not many of them up on theck
00:06:30
of the boat but um but yeah so I did um
00:06:34
I just felt incredibly nervous and and
00:06:36
not too much I'm I'm pretty unflappable
00:06:38
you know um with the exception of
00:06:39
talking about people I care about um um
00:06:42
so I opened the door to the changing
00:06:45
room and the first thing I noticed was
00:06:47
the mirror with all the lights around it
00:06:49
and I said to Ken [ __ ] it's just like
00:06:50
the
00:06:52
Muppets cuz I know a lot of people won't
00:06:55
understand that but from Al vintage you
00:06:57
watch The Muppet Show Miss Piggy used to
00:06:59
sit in front of the mirror with all the
00:07:00
lights around it and it was exactly the
00:07:01
same I was like holy [ __ ] and then Anita
00:07:04
started cracking up I had a laugh and
00:07:05
that lightened things and then the next
00:07:07
thing I S see was all the food that they
00:07:09
had in the in the dressing room and they
00:07:10
had like um they had some champagne on
00:07:13
ice and they had all these amazing
00:07:14
canopies and I thought oh sweet so this
00:07:17
must be where the feed happens like
00:07:20
because the other guests were little
00:07:21
Wayne the rapper and um Isa Fisher the
00:07:25
actress oh yeah it was going to be
00:07:26
Scarlet Johansson which I was excited
00:07:28
about but they switched out late in the
00:07:30
pce but fish is amazing to S exactly so
00:07:34
but anyway so all like a billion legs
00:07:37
bigger than wherever I was or ever have
00:07:40
been so I'm just kind of like holy [ __ ]
00:07:42
I'm going to get to meet these guys this
00:07:43
where the feed happens and I said oh so
00:07:46
when do we have the feed like afterwards
00:07:48
you know I'm kind of expecting it's like
00:07:49
after a rugby game someone's going to
00:07:51
come in and do a big big spread of the
00:07:53
table and do a katak here and then you
00:07:55
you know the visiting side goes first
00:07:57
you have a feed and have a catch up and
00:07:59
then everyone goes home she goes oh no
00:08:00
no they've all got this in their
00:08:01
dressing rooms too and I'm like there's
00:08:03
a lot of food and she said I was I said
00:08:07
who's it all for then she said oh it's
00:08:08
for you and your entourage I'm what it's
00:08:12
just me and the mes and so anyway I was
00:08:17
way too nervous to eat I hadn't eaten on
00:08:18
the plane on the way over I'd had half a
00:08:20
slice of pizza and I felt like being
00:08:22
sick that day cuz I was so nervous about
00:08:24
what I was about to do so any I go
00:08:26
downstairs go into the Green Room and
00:08:29
they then they walk me to the wings of
00:08:31
the stage and they said when you hear
00:08:32
your name being said by David walk out
00:08:34
there shake hands with them and get into
00:08:35
it and that's what I did and it went
00:08:38
like a blur it felt good he was he I
00:08:41
think he made things very easy for me um
00:08:44
I cracked a bit of a joke or and I
00:08:46
thought it would fall flat it didn't and
00:08:48
what was it what was the joke remember
00:08:50
well he asked well it was I I told him
00:08:52
about getting my ball slashed open and
00:08:54
um and I'm like that's pretty out there
00:08:56
for us TV very conservative it was very
00:08:59
very conservative for TV so they
00:09:00
actually beeped like the bit where I
00:09:03
said you know it's important to have
00:09:05
balls doing with the [ __ ] that I do U so
00:09:08
they beat that but the the crowd laughed
00:09:11
and that was a bit offputting too
00:09:13
because I'd never been on any sort of
00:09:15
stage before you know I think School
00:09:17
production maybe um but the lights are
00:09:19
so bright you can't see the crowd and it
00:09:21
was very cold it was so Struck it was
00:09:23
cold inside the theater the lights were
00:09:25
really bright and it was just like black
00:09:27
and then as soon as people laughed I
00:09:29
realized how many people were there and
00:09:30
that they were close but I couldn't see
00:09:31
them and it was a bit off offputting um
00:09:34
but David just he was really good we had
00:09:37
a good chat and quite a way into it
00:09:39
probably a little bit like this I'm
00:09:40
yarning away and there's guys you know
00:09:43
off stage out of shot giving it this one
00:09:45
they wrap it up cut it cut it and but
00:09:47
David kept asking questions and it ended
00:09:50
up going well over like two and a half
00:09:52
minutes over the which for us like for
00:09:55
the ratings they get that's costing them
00:09:56
a lot of money because it's eating into
00:09:57
the commercial time and um as soon as
00:10:00
they cut for commercial break the first
00:10:02
thing he said to me is I've really been
00:10:03
looking forward to meeting you like like
00:10:05
everyone had said I said Honestly though
00:10:07
and he's like I said I saw you on here
00:10:09
with alcino because I no don't they were
00:10:11
all really good guys but he said they're
00:10:13
doing the they're on here to do their
00:10:15
jobs and promote their movies she said
00:10:17
it's just neat talking to someone that's
00:10:18
passionate about something I was like
00:10:20
well you know you can just be yourself
00:10:22
and you can get this far by not not
00:10:25
pretending to be anything other than
00:10:28
than yourself it it sort of and and up
00:10:31
to that point I had had no time to
00:10:33
reflect about where I was going or or
00:10:35
the enormity of of what was happening
00:10:38
and I remember going back to the um
00:10:40
dressing room Ken was crying trembling F
00:10:43
was she just with pride or yeah yeah
00:10:46
[ __ ] [ __ ] yeah mate that's awesome M
00:10:50
I've got goosebumps hearing this because
00:10:52
I I suppose for I mean you seem like a
00:10:53
guy that's always just got you got your
00:10:55
head down grinding forward and I suppose
00:10:57
this is like a like a tangible moment
00:10:59
where you can you know rather than keep
00:11:01
reaching for the next branch on the tree
00:11:02
you can pause and look at the view that
00:11:04
you've created yeah yeah and I've not
00:11:06
done that because and partly because
00:11:08
it's been so busy you know it's always
00:11:09
been the next thing got to do the next
00:11:11
thing um you make commitments to people
00:11:13
to sponsors so you always busy trying
00:11:15
not to let people down so you don't you
00:11:17
don't have time to look back and say
00:11:18
geez I did good you know but
00:11:21
um yeah yeah you did do good yeah it was
00:11:24
great and then and then and then you did
00:11:25
lines of coke with little Wayne yeah no
00:11:28
no I I didn't I I I didn't did you meet
00:11:31
little way oh yeah he was waiting for me
00:11:34
um when when we got up the list at least
00:11:36
I mean I'd heard his music and I'd seen
00:11:38
rap videos and you don't start me being
00:11:41
a little Wayne guy no no no but I mean
00:11:43
um but I came out the list and there's
00:11:45
all of these black guys and one was
00:11:47
particularly little
00:11:49
and he was and I think my ears were
00:11:52
still ringing from the nerves and the
00:11:54
adrenaline of being on stage and he
00:11:56
dapped me up sort of broch shake me gave
00:11:58
me a hug and I think he said that was
00:12:00
cool man like that was cool man I think
00:12:03
that's what he said but it was my ears
00:12:04
were ringing and then he jumped in the
00:12:06
lift and went down as I came out and
00:12:08
then that's when I went into the
00:12:08
dressing room Ken was trembling and oh
00:12:11
it was just like this this moment and
00:12:13
then the very next moment I'm like [ __ ]
00:12:16
I'm hungry I haven't eaten anything
00:12:18
other than half a slice of pizza for the
00:12:19
last 40 hours and I saw all this food
00:12:22
trouble was I had to go on a meeting
00:12:25
with the big boss at Discovery Channel
00:12:27
like they were wanting to get my
00:12:28
signature to do a deal you know a
00:12:31
international broadcast deal and um so I
00:12:35
couldn't stay and eat the food and and
00:12:37
hang out to meet the other guests even
00:12:40
though um Little Wayne and Isa had
00:12:42
already actually
00:12:43
gone you know there was no Afterparty
00:12:46
you know wasn't like the postmatch of
00:12:47
the rugby game um so I just said to
00:12:51
Anita like oh you guys have the food and
00:12:53
she said no we're not allowed it I'm
00:12:55
like what do you mean it's like and
00:12:57
there was there was sand salmon canipes
00:13:00
these amazing pastries it was just all
00:13:02
this beautiful food you know fresh fruit
00:13:04
and I said well what happens to it
00:13:06
because it all gets thrown out because
00:13:07
we're not allowed at um because we had a
00:13:09
diva she didn't name names she said we
00:13:10
had a diva guest on a while back and she
00:13:13
accused the staff of stealing the
00:13:14
strawberries U while she was on stage so
00:13:16
we've got this policy no one's allowed
00:13:18
to touch the food um because it caused a
00:13:20
thing that's weird so I said oh um can I
00:13:24
have a doggy bag oh God you didn't oh my
00:13:26
God you didn't I don't well it's a waste
00:13:28
you know
00:13:29
you know like it wouldn't have been good
00:13:30
it would have been the that gray
00:13:31
Atlantic salmon it wouldn't have been
00:13:33
the good I don't know I
00:13:35
mean actually I did so she went around
00:13:37
she got the catering containers that was
00:13:38
all brought in and she said no one's
00:13:40
actually ever asked before but yeah sure
00:13:42
so I loaded them up I loaded them up and
00:13:46
I I got heaps of the chocolate pastries
00:13:48
CU I thought I was going to go out and
00:13:50
te and you after this meeting Kenny and
00:13:52
I were going to go and te in New York a
00:13:53
new one I had this waight off my
00:13:54
shoulders and I thought when I get back
00:13:56
booze these chocolate canop are going to
00:13:58
chocolate pastries are going going to go
00:13:59
down a treat especially and then she saw
00:14:02
me looking at the champagne and she goes
00:14:04
do you want that as well I'm
00:14:06
like and I was like and she goes yeah
00:14:09
grab it you know she was like grab it so
00:14:11
I tucked that under the wing cuz KY and
00:14:13
I had never had I think we'd had on a on
00:14:16
a one special occasion we had had a
00:14:17
glass of Moet um once and it was about
00:14:21
like so I'm just like yeah this is ball
00:14:23
I've got champagne got all this amazing
00:14:25
like wedding food um wedding food
00:14:29
it was you know get the lot of the fancy
00:14:31
like little nibbles at weddings you know
00:14:33
like this is well you know we had a
00:14:35
wedding reception at the Waymouth KY
00:14:36
Club um Els was more s RS but um so we
00:14:42
um we go down on the left and I'm just
00:14:43
like feeling so happy that I didn't not
00:14:46
that I'd smash this interview or
00:14:48
anything you didn't look like a deck I
00:14:50
didn't look like a deck and I was
00:14:51
honestly worried about letting New
00:14:53
Zealand down that was my thing I was
00:14:55
like not many kiwis have ever been on
00:14:57
the show um let alone being like a main
00:14:59
guest and um I wanted people to go away
00:15:03
going oh kiwis are like cool people um
00:15:06
that's what I wanted so and you know
00:15:08
I've always been real real Proud kiwi so
00:15:10
like that was like a real big thing for
00:15:11
me I was like I felt like I went away I
00:15:13
said really good things about New
00:15:14
Zealand I made sure I got that in and
00:15:16
said it such a great place and I'm like
00:15:18
yes I didn't screw it up and my mates
00:15:20
aren't going to be able to give me [ __ ]
00:15:22
about it like um so I was just feeling
00:15:24
really
00:15:27
good
00:15:29
[Music]
00:15:34
oh