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Runners only with dom Harvey and Simone
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Anderson g'day Simone hi Dom how are you
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going oh it's I'm going very well it's
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wonderful to have you here in my brand
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new podcast lounge with the video is set
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up and it's fancy as and I feel like I'm
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being watched from all angles the little
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big brother like right now it's kind of
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it's kind of strange so just um for
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those of you listening online
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um it's just Simone and I in a second
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bedroom that's been converted into a
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podcast Lounge but through that all
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immediately through that wall there's a
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creepy little dude called Dougie sitting
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there someone I didn't expect to see on
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arrival should be fair but taken back
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what's going on this is like the first
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uh dummy run with the new camera setup
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we've got so you've got a camera right
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there yeah cool I've got one right there
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and there's a wide one in the middle so
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this is like a dummy run cool we'll give
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it a go thank you so much for coming
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here first things first something we
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need to um tick off the podcast is
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called Runners only yes
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um what is your relationship like with
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running because I know there was a time
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uh maybe like 10 years ago when we we
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you were so big big you were almost
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unable to walk yeah it was poor eight
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years ago is when I started my what I
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called my journey to health and that's
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where I tipped the scales the 169 kgs
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and I could barely walk up my own
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driveway let alone go for a run I'm not
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gonna lie running is still not something
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I enjoy or not something I've ever
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enjoyed um as a primary school kid mum
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actually had to walk the cross country
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with me to just get me to do it because
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I refused to run I'll run tiny stunts
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for netball and I was always quite
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sporty but just little bits you know
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yeah no not long long distances or
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anything like that no okay I love um
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bring up the running thing because I
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think everyone in New Zealand has a
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relationship to some degree with running
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whether it's a positive one or a
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negative one yeah I feel like school
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does a lot of damage to make people
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think running's a bad thing yeah you're
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getting just forced into it in terms of
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you just had to do it and I swimming was
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my strong point and I hated running I
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was so swum fit but pop me in the cross
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crunchy field honestly 100 meters I was
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done done dusted yeah
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so
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I was trying to think this morning when
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I was at the gym how how are you and I
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know each other I think um you first
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came on my radar after you appeared on
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the Tyra Banks Show and you sort of blew
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up went a bit viral how that when was
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that like eight years ago yeah that
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would have been no seven years ago I
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think yeah I came on radio station with
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you then and it's been on and off since
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then really yeah so you you had um a
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gastric sleeve operation you lost a
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considerable amount of weight and you
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sort of blew up and you ended up in the
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Huffington Post Daily Mail all sorts of
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websites around the world so I I just
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want to go back like how did you so what
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were you at your Peak 169 how did you
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get so big for me I don't think it was
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one pinpoint in particular but it was a
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whole build up of different things I had
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my parents divorce at 13 years old
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um shortly after that my mum I found my
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mum in her bedroom and she tried to
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commit suicide uh from there obviously I
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was just quite traumatized with what
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life was throwing at me and I met a man
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that was 10 years my senior and when you
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were 15 30 25 and got into a very very
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unhealthy toxic relationship with him it
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was very abusive and illegal
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yeah well was it a sexual relationship
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yep yeah
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um you've already thought about that to
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be honest
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um but yeah it's been six years with him
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feeling very very trapped he controlled
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every movement he checked my car boat
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every time I left the house looking for
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what oh just to see if I was going out
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with friends and I put a spear change
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about they wouldn't tried to remove me
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from my friendships they're called learn
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family life and things like that so I
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think my comfort during that time and
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the one place I found a little bit of I
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guess
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happiness and release and felt safe was
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with food and it just became something
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that was always there for me that yeah
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bought me a little bit of instant
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gratification and it was just a very
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very unhealthy
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habit
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um and lifestyle I stopped making myself
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any food everything I ate was convenient
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food it was all takeaways I had my
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eating and you know this was even
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school-aged you know bags of lollies
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after school and things like that at the
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dairy with whatever money I was making
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and yeah it just sort of spiraled from
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there and then it got to the point where
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I was gaining such a rapid amount of
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weight a year I could not get control of
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it I'd try diets and I could do a diet
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I'm quite you know quite good at
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sticking to something if I say I'm gonna
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do it I'm gonna do it and I would lose
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the weight and then I'd start loving
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again and I'd pile it all back on and a
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shitload more and so for me
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yeah that was basically my relationship
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with food and how I got to to that point
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and decided at 23 years old that I did
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not want to live like this I was gaining
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about 10 kgs if not 15 some years and I
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wow I did not you know I'd sort of been
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told that I probably wouldn't live to
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see Thursday if I didn't change my
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lifestyle it was very very unhealthy so
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it's that dire yeah it was very bad
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when you when you look back at um like
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photos of or videos of that person now
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like like what do you what do you feel
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and that was that was me and that's
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always been me and I think like
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internally yeah I still see me and I see
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like I as much as I had a lot of trauma
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that had caused that weight gain I was
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still and I to the stem I'm very
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positive person I see the best in
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situations and I'm outgoing and I'm you
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know quite quite bubbly and
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I can always I don't know I always
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enjoyed life even even at that size I
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was always a go-getter so I still see
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me but just a younger version of me with
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you know a bit more pattern
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yeah that's funny because it's like the
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the Simone that I I know and you and I
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don't know each other that well but um I
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follow you online and I you know we've
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met a few times
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you just don't seem like a person that
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would um like take take [ __ ] in a
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relationship or be in a healthy
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relationship is it because you were just
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so young so you didn't really know
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it's true of both I think obviously I
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was feeling a lot of emotions around
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parents divorce and you know that
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situation and I was obviously seeking
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love and
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yeah and validation in a place where it
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wasn't really healthy and I think
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initially it you know all great and when
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I say it like this now you know he had a
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car there was Independence
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at that time it was a big deal and I I
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can't believe it now but you know like
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there was that freedom there he had a
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credit card we could go and do stuff and
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it was it was quite exciting to start
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with but then quite quickly it turned
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you know those traits weren't there all
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at the beginning there were obviously
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huge red flags and yeah I just think
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but before I knew it I was just in so
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deep and I think the emotional
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manipulation that happened really early
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on is what tracked me there I truly
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believed that I would not ever meet
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anyone else that I was so ugly so
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unattractive so all of these things and
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he made me believe that by repeating it
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to me daily I thought I was worthless
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and so I just stayed and you know he
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became everything does it just is it is
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it like I would never judge anyone for
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um staying in a toxic relationship
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because I don't think you know what it's
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like until you've been there but does it
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just sort of like chip away slowly at
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your self-esteem or self-worth yeah
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don't think I even well I know I didn't
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know it at the time like I thought it
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was fine and I thought yeah there were
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bad parts of our relationship but I
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didn't realize to the extent that he was
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wearing me down every day
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for his own you know his own Worth to
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keep me in that relationship and things
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that he would do and you know like start
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me on diets but then bring home
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McDonald's at midnight to make me feel
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like a failure and like I'd never be
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able to succeed yeah
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oh
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so
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um was it after that relationship that
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you decide to get the bypass yeah so I I
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think I was 21 nearly 20 yeah 21 when I
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finally found the strength to go
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actually fact this and leave the house
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that we were loving him which the whole
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what you call a rent thing was under my
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name and I couldn't afford it at the
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time but I just had knew I had to get
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out of that relationship and did you
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have support from your family or
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whatever I know it's a fractured family
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and your mum had mental health issues
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but were they yeah no family honestly
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been amazing I think the hard thing for
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them was watching me go through this and
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they always voiced their opinions and
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they always
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shared how much they disliked him the
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entire family but I think it was I was
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so defensive of him also your parents
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like every time you saw them you must be
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looking looking different in appearance
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in terms of your size yeah I guess so
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it's one of those things weight is sort
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of for me it was just such a slow it
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felt so slow it was so gradient until
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you look back on the yearly photos that
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you realized how how much you had
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changed in that year I can't remember
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what we were we were getting to yeah so
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so you got out of that relationship and
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then is that when you decided right I
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got to do something not right then and
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then oh [ __ ] no I was single for the
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first time and basically you know that
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those teenage years and my early 20s and
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I was just so excited about being single
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and I
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I partied up a storm because he wouldn't
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let me party and I enjoyed really
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enjoyed being single and having fun and
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white in my issue with white was just
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not on my radio at all all I wanted to
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do was focus on being free basically I
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suppose like confidence is everything so
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if you if you regardless of what you
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look like externally if you're confident
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you can um you know people will like you
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oh I had a shitload of fun yeah I was
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always very very you know I never had an
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issue finding a a partner and you know
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that was never an issue for me and I
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yeah I just enjoyed those two years but
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it was I guess towards the end of that
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time when
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I'd had so much fun I was just ready to
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focus on my weight and you know nothing
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else I was like this is my time now I'm
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ready to tackle this was was that
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because of like a doctor or said
00:10:04
something a family intervention or you
00:10:05
just made this decision yourself no it
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was actually I was remember I was
00:10:09
flatting with a friend at the time we're
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living at the bottom of her um dad's
00:10:13
house and I was renting a room and I had
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to bring the bins in every second week
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and I just remember
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dreading that task and it was a driveway
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that I would have would have no longer
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than 30 meters long not that Steve and
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I'd have to gear myself up for it for
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like that day no I'm not joking like it
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was a sorry for laughing yeah you know
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and mentally it was just I just think I
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could you can do this you've got this
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you know it was like it was a big deal
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for me and I just remember one week
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thinking that's so not okay I said it's
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not okay it's not okay
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I'm so young and things like I you know
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not sitting in plastic
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chairs oh because they might break oh
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jet like the back leg if I moved at any
00:10:57
angle could snap airplane seats always
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having to ask for an extender it's like
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it was a build up of all those little
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things I was like I'm I'm so young and I
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don't want to be living this life
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anymore you know it's this is not the
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life I see for myself and I it was only
00:11:13
getting worse it's not like it was at a
00:11:14
point where I sort of could maintain it
00:11:16
I couldn't I had no control of it and I
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knew I needed to take that control back
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so wow it's accumulating out like
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moments like asking for an extended seat
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in a plane oh so embarrassing to the
00:11:28
point where the first few times I
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actually would just put a jumper over my
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lap to not have to ask and not have the
00:11:35
seat belt done up because I was so
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mortified
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um and I suppose there's other things
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that you just I mean as someone that's
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never but never been massively
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overweight you know I've I have had
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periods where I've been overweight but
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not not to that sort of degree
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um things like just the sense of other
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passengers sitting either side of you or
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yeah oh all of that and you're very
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conscious of the space that you take up
00:11:57
in the world and you know it's more than
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other people you don't want to make
00:12:01
other people feel like you have to play
00:12:02
this on the airplane I was always trying
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to be as small as a you know small as
00:12:06
they could to not get in the way of
00:12:07
other people that's awful so the
00:12:09
operation where do you get that done and
00:12:11
how much I had that done here in
00:12:13
Auckland um at Auckland weight loss
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surgery and I saw a guy called Richard
00:12:16
he it was amazing and we just went and
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had a consult with him and Mum came with
00:12:22
me and I just liked how I guess brutally
00:12:24
honest he was about all the questions
00:12:26
that I had and in terms of like the
00:12:28
complications and things like that he
00:12:30
didn't sugarcoat any of it and yeah we
00:12:33
basically then and there I I knew that's
00:12:35
what I wanted to do and he said I'll go
00:12:36
away and think about I said no I want to
00:12:38
when's your next available appointment
00:12:39
book me in he said this is when it is
00:12:41
you need to start optifast here and that
00:12:43
was it but yeah it was 90 at the time
00:12:45
nineteen thousand seven hundred which
00:12:48
I had absolutely no money like none I
00:12:52
had to get my aunties to help guarantor
00:12:54
a bank loan for me because my parents
00:12:56
couldn't at the time because they
00:12:58
wouldn't have been allowed to
00:13:00
um and yeah now it's the best money I've
00:13:02
ever spent but I I sort of viewed it
00:13:04
some people would spend that on a car I
00:13:06
spent that on my on your future yeah and
00:13:09
I don't regret Center but
00:13:11
so they so what word are you when you go
00:13:14
in
00:13:14
uh I think I had lost maybe 4K 4 kgs or
00:13:20
3 kgs in the optifast which was the I
00:13:22
had to do that for three weeks what is
00:13:24
it like a shake diet yeah right
00:13:25
basically
00:13:27
um
00:13:28
yeah it's a meal replacement diet the
00:13:30
the reason you go on it is because it
00:13:32
shrinks the fat around your vital organs
00:13:35
so it just makes operating that much
00:13:37
safer it's still dangerous of course
00:13:39
because you're dealing with people who
00:13:40
are morbidly obese and but it does mean
00:13:43
that the operation is smoother yeah so
00:13:46
you're when you go and you're a hundred
00:13:48
and
00:13:50
65 and then how much do they take out
00:13:54
there are in terms yeah like so what do
00:13:56
you weigh on the scales like immediately
00:13:57
afterwards oh they don't take anything
00:13:59
out then it's you well they take a half
00:14:01
yourself
00:14:02
okay so yes that's very different to
00:14:04
like um liposuction yes okay yeah yeah
00:14:06
so they don't take out any like well
00:14:08
they do they take out half your stomach
00:14:10
but I don't remember I don't think they
00:14:12
weighed a lot I didn't lose instant
00:14:14
weight because of my tummy being removed
00:14:15
no right okay and then what's the
00:14:17
recovery like after that I found the
00:14:19
recovery pretty straightforward I think
00:14:21
because I was on the younger side
00:14:24
um you bounce back yeah I'd already been
00:14:26
on a weight loss Journey so I'd started
00:14:28
my journey I didn't know when I started
00:14:29
my journey that weight loss surgery was
00:14:31
how I was going to continue it on I just
00:14:33
knew I needed to make change so I I'd
00:14:35
actually already lost 20 kgs before I
00:14:37
had surgery I was totally wrong when I
00:14:39
was saying that so yeah I was down to
00:14:41
100
00:14:42
50 or around them when I hit the surgery
00:14:45
and and then I yeah I just remember I
00:14:48
was in hospital and had a Halloween
00:14:50
party planned I was throwing for all my
00:14:53
friends
00:14:53
um
00:14:54
the two days later three days later and
00:14:57
I said oh you probably won't be up to it
00:14:59
and I was at the party sitting on a site
00:15:00
but I was there or full makeup and a lot
00:15:02
of plastic seat no no probably a full
00:15:05
wooden seat at this point still
00:15:07
um and yeah it was was totally fine I
00:15:09
mean I was tired because you're not
00:15:11
eating as much food and I got a little
00:15:13
bit light-headed occasionally but yeah
00:15:15
in terms of recovery it sort of felt
00:15:17
like I'd eaten rocks is how I'd describe
00:15:19
it just to hear me tummy yeah and then
00:15:22
what does it do to the appetite you're
00:15:23
just not hungry at all yeah no you're
00:15:25
not hungry well you've got the mental
00:15:27
hunger yeah still which I think is a
00:15:29
really interesting side of it is that
00:15:30
you still want food you've still got
00:15:32
that real big addiction there but what
00:15:35
it does is it takes the like
00:15:37
the need for food away when you do eat
00:15:39
food because you're full instantly yeah
00:15:41
right like a tablespoon of milk soad I
00:15:43
was satisfied but I suppose you've got
00:15:46
to be um and we did the weight just
00:15:48
start falling off or yeah be quickly
00:15:50
initially
00:15:51
um oh the first week was a bit slow
00:15:52
because I had fluid retention and stuff
00:15:54
like that but after that it was pretty
00:15:56
quick and pretty regular that the weight
00:15:58
just you know a couple of kgs every week
00:16:00
God that must have been addictive what
00:16:02
was very motivating right yeah very very
00:16:04
motivating because it just
00:16:06
it meant that and what I but you know
00:16:09
you told is that you're given this first
00:16:10
year which is like your honeymoon period
00:16:13
um and in that first year if you set
00:16:14
yourself up really good routines really
00:16:16
good habits
00:16:17
you can maintain that basically for life
00:16:19
because it's you know this time where
00:16:21
you're not feeling hunger you're not
00:16:22
feeling this those same drives towards
00:16:25
food that you you know necessarily were
00:16:27
before so I had this like and I think
00:16:30
also because I didn't have that money it
00:16:31
was a huge thing for me it wasn't a like
00:16:34
oh I should just give it a go
00:16:36
last resort you know I knew I had to do
00:16:40
this yeah 20K as well yeah so so you can
00:16:43
get a gastric sleeve and if you're not
00:16:46
sensible about it or disciplined about
00:16:47
it you can stretch your stomach again
00:16:49
yeah it's a muscle so you'll find lots
00:16:51
of patients um over time and over the
00:16:54
years to come if they don't change their
00:16:56
lifestyle their eating habits their
00:16:57
routines their habits everything like
00:16:59
that it it the weight will slowly come
00:17:01
back on right yeah you still lose weight
00:17:03
in the clay because it's a smaller tummy
00:17:05
right but if you don't change what
00:17:07
you're eating and how your lifestyle is
00:17:09
because you you have got um you've got
00:17:12
so many such a fan base now and so many
00:17:14
supporters but also so many detractors
00:17:16
as well and one thing that I you you
00:17:18
don't have to go too deep online to read
00:17:19
about you people say oh well she she
00:17:22
just she she you know she got skinny the
00:17:24
easy way by which is not it's a bit
00:17:27
disingenuous isn't it because it's not
00:17:29
like how it was really well you have the
00:17:31
operation which I think it probably
00:17:32
gives you a head start but then you've
00:17:33
got to do the hard work yourself yeah I
00:17:36
sort of I view it like anything else in
00:17:37
life like we're we're given Helping
00:17:39
Hands to work towards tasks or goals and
00:17:42
if say you're a smoker you might use a
00:17:44
patch to help you stop smoking but you
00:17:46
still stop smoking and I that's how I
00:17:48
view weight loss surgery it's it's not
00:17:50
going to do the job for you and if you
00:17:53
just were to get the surgery and do
00:17:54
sweet if all else your life won't change
00:17:57
you you know it'll you'll lose the
00:17:59
weight but you'll gain it all back and
00:18:01
it's a it's a tool and a helping hand
00:18:03
but you still very much need to put in
00:18:04
the work but again it's a tool that is
00:18:07
an incredible incredibly powerful tool
00:18:10
too I could not have done and I will say
00:18:12
this very on openly and honestly without
00:18:15
this tool I tried for 10 years you know
00:18:17
this was this was the tool that I needed
00:18:19
to
00:18:20
to change my life and to give me I guess
00:18:23
the the courage that I could actually do
00:18:25
it yeah and haven't you and and when did
00:18:27
you start um when did you decide to
00:18:28
share your journey on social media which
00:18:30
I'm guessing at this point wasn't so
00:18:32
much Instagram mainly Facebook yeah it
00:18:34
was mainly Facebook
00:18:36
um and I decided to do this right at the
00:18:38
beginning because I remember sitting I
00:18:40
was interning at a friend's Jewelry
00:18:42
Factory and I worked there two days a
00:18:44
week and I loved it because I got to
00:18:47
make jewelry that fit me
00:18:49
um because big body chains and necklaces
00:18:51
that would fit my neck and it was
00:18:53
awesome and she was fun time and I
00:18:54
remember they were selling the
00:18:56
commercial scale there
00:18:58
um and I thought [ __ ] I I want to know
00:19:00
what I weigh and I know household scale
00:19:02
had weighed me for years and so I
00:19:04
remember one lunch break running down
00:19:05
what do you mean because they just
00:19:07
couldn't go higher
00:19:09
yeah so I just didn't know what I
00:19:11
weighed and I knew I wanted to know what
00:19:13
I weighed so I snuck down and stood on
00:19:14
the scale and it was actually in that
00:19:17
moment where it was like I've got to do
00:19:19
something and I've got to make a change
00:19:20
but didn't know how I was going to make
00:19:22
this change so for the rest of that
00:19:23
afternoon I just went back upstairs and
00:19:25
I just basically cried in the office and
00:19:26
my brain was just spiraling with heaps
00:19:30
of negative emotions but also just
00:19:31
trying to think how do I do it this time
00:19:33
and one of the ways that I came up with
00:19:36
that I ended up calling mum that night
00:19:38
about was actually sharing it to my
00:19:40
friends and family on Facebook and just
00:19:42
documenting my journey because I know
00:19:44
that I'm someone that's hugely held
00:19:46
accountable by other people and I'm
00:19:47
driven and very motivated when other
00:19:49
people know what I'm up to and how many
00:19:51
followers did you have then like under a
00:19:52
thousand couple of hundred yeah maybe
00:19:54
800 friends and family on all friends
00:19:56
and family on Facebook and Mum was like
00:19:59
it was a great idea but I was obviously
00:20:01
petrified because as soon as you do it
00:20:03
are you uh accountability level yeah
00:20:06
sharing
00:20:07
what I weighed sharing what I was doing
00:20:09
and sharing photos of myself half naked
00:20:12
it was it was a huge thing and I just
00:20:14
remember crying for three days and
00:20:15
eventually pressing post and going what
00:20:18
have I done you know like I've got to do
00:20:21
this now but that was that was the start
00:20:23
of it and at that point social media or
00:20:26
as far as I was aware no one was really
00:20:28
doing it for a job it was there are a
00:20:30
few people on YouTube making money
00:20:31
through AdSense but I never thought of
00:20:34
that as the driving factor for me it was
00:20:36
purely to keep myself accountable and
00:20:38
yeah I shared photos of
00:20:40
my feet when I'd go for a walk and a
00:20:42
half eaten mango and you know quotes
00:20:45
that inspired me and that was that was
00:20:47
the start of it and it was right at the
00:20:48
beginning
00:20:49
yeah because it's like um I suppose
00:20:52
there's a lot of Envy towards you from
00:20:54
people because everyone would like to be
00:20:56
an influencer
00:20:59
come on everyone loves the idea of
00:21:01
getting free Parcels we'll get into this
00:21:04
in more detail later but everyone loves
00:21:06
the idea of not having an actual job
00:21:07
getting paid to post [ __ ] online getting
00:21:10
a whole lot of free stuff but as as you
00:21:13
said like you never set out to be an
00:21:14
influencer which I think a lot of kids
00:21:15
these days probably try to do like it
00:21:18
started with a very genuine Earnest
00:21:20
reason and there's a lot of um a lot of
00:21:22
talk these days about uh vulnerability
00:21:24
and the importance of that and you were
00:21:26
doing that before it was sort of
00:21:27
fashionable yeah I think a lot it was
00:21:30
just timing wise right if I had shared
00:21:32
what I was doing two years later my page
00:21:35
wouldn't have been picked up and gained
00:21:36
traction like it did it was just it was
00:21:39
a crazy weird time where no one was
00:21:41
really sharing much in terms of like
00:21:44
you're saying vulnerability online uh no
00:21:46
one was really diving deep into those
00:21:47
like nitty-gritty topics it was just a
00:21:49
very like surface level place and I
00:21:52
think
00:21:53
if I had you know shared two years later
00:21:55
it was already flattered and saturated
00:21:58
it was just a right time in terms of
00:22:00
without knowing it sharing what I was
00:22:02
sharing
00:22:03
so how did the have they had the viral
00:22:05
stuff online come about like um I
00:22:07
mentioned before Huffington Post Daily
00:22:08
Mail the Tyra Banks TV show on the
00:22:10
states yeah it's been
00:22:11
so talked about this
00:22:13
um I remember
00:22:15
probably about six weeks into sharing
00:22:17
what I was sharing online I noticed
00:22:19
friends of friends starting following
00:22:21
friends mums you know people I didn't
00:22:23
know started just following my page and
00:22:25
I just remember thinking why why do they
00:22:27
care like I was posting the most just
00:22:30
basic stuff it just didn't make sense to
00:22:32
me that someone that didn't know me
00:22:33
wanted to follow the stuff
00:22:34
um and that just sort of started slowly
00:22:36
growing and then quite quickly before I
00:22:39
knew it there were 10 000 people then
00:22:40
there were a hundred thousand people and
00:22:43
I was just sharing my life and I it
00:22:45
wasn't ever hard for me it was just
00:22:46
sharing updates and progress and yeah
00:22:49
what my guess my journey with gastric
00:22:51
sleeve surgery too so sharing the ups
00:22:53
and downs and I remember quite early on
00:22:55
talking quite in depth around why I was
00:22:58
going to share and talk about gastric
00:23:00
sleeves surgery so openly and honestly
00:23:02
because I didn't want it to be a
00:23:03
shameful thing it was something I was
00:23:04
really proud of taking that step in that
00:23:06
decision and lots of people had always
00:23:08
you know had head gastric sleeve surgery
00:23:10
but that hidden it from friends and
00:23:11
family and it was a place where a woman
00:23:13
could reach out and talk why why would
00:23:18
not so much anymore I don't believe but
00:23:21
something that people definitely look
00:23:22
down on you would like you're saying
00:23:23
you're taking the easy Road out it's not
00:23:25
like it wasn't viewed as like a a
00:23:29
positive decision in your life it was
00:23:30
like you're a cop-out you're not doing
00:23:32
it yourself you're not just going on a
00:23:33
diet you know it's not really a shortcut
00:23:35
though it's like it's like a leg up I
00:23:36
guess totally yeah
00:23:38
yeah I don't know I think well who cares
00:23:41
anyway yeah you know that's what it is
00:23:44
did and I totally I respect both sides
00:23:47
of that but I also think the people that
00:23:48
do have those views have never struggled
00:23:50
with being morbidly obese or having a
00:23:53
weight issue or an issue around food
00:23:55
addiction issue or anything like that I
00:23:56
guess you know like that's not something
00:23:57
you can say that they've hello oh yeah
00:24:00
you want to play with the ball you can't
00:24:02
do it's busy doing a podcast hey I'm
00:24:04
down we will say play afterwards but
00:24:07
throw the ball a couple of times and
00:24:08
then he's bored anyway yeah so so
00:24:10
someone from um someone from one of the
00:24:13
news organizations just like steal some
00:24:15
of your photos and write a story or yeah
00:24:16
so when all that started happening
00:24:18
um basically like it was still to this
00:24:21
day places like the Huffington or post
00:24:23
and Daily Mail someone will take some
00:24:25
images write some text and share a story
00:24:28
and then obviously all those same news
00:24:35
and that again just I just remember
00:24:37
watching my follow account just was like
00:24:40
going I was Nanny at the time and my
00:24:41
phone was just going crazy and messages
00:24:43
and I've still got unread messages on
00:24:46
Facebook from that time like where it
00:24:48
was just so like
00:24:50
thousands of messages yeah it was crazy
00:24:52
wow was that like the moment that your
00:24:54
life sort of changed do you think the
00:24:55
trajectory of your life
00:24:57
um to a degree I I guess at 100 was but
00:25:01
without realizing it yeah of course yeah
00:25:02
you don't know what it's going to lead
00:25:03
to or okay so then um and then so Tyra
00:25:06
Banks her show calls they flew over to
00:25:08
the states yeah so that was actually a
00:25:10
before and after photo I shared where I
00:25:11
had got to my goal weight which my goal
00:25:13
was to lose half my body weight in a
00:25:15
year and I did that in 11 months so I
00:25:17
lost 84.5 kgs which is very exciting
00:25:20
that is so much work and I shared a
00:25:21
before and after photo uh but I shared
00:25:24
it with my work out leggings pulled up
00:25:26
and I took a photo and everyone sort of
00:25:29
wrote all these negative comments like
00:25:30
that's not the same person and different
00:25:32
phone different nose where's all the low
00:25:35
skin all of these sort of things and I
00:25:37
remember I'd change from an Android to
00:25:39
an apple and you know like couldn't
00:25:40
possibly be the same person I remember
00:25:42
at the time this really upsetting me
00:25:44
because I was I did this this is me I
00:25:47
worked so hard to was this your first
00:25:49
experience with maybe online my theory
00:25:52
first yeah up until then I've been super
00:25:54
positive and encouraging and I don't
00:25:55
think I'd ever had a negative message
00:25:57
before so it was just solder store and I
00:25:59
was like this is so tough so it's like
00:26:01
I'm gonna prove them wrong so I pulled
00:26:03
down my workout pants and I took a photo
00:26:05
and I shared more of my face so you
00:26:07
could see and shared them side by side
00:26:08
and that photo then went completely
00:26:11
viral and that's where all the Articles
00:26:12
happened
00:26:13
um but at the same time a surgeon in the
00:26:15
states saw this photo and picked up on
00:26:18
it and his media team reached out and
00:26:20
offered to perform skin removal surgery
00:26:23
on my stomach and my breasts for me and
00:26:25
so that got me to the states uh which
00:26:27
was just a huge experience and I still
00:26:30
to the state can't believe that at that
00:26:33
age I went across the world on my own to
00:26:36
not really knowing if it was a true
00:26:37
thing or not either you know like anyone
00:26:39
could have turned up at the airport
00:26:41
I suppose um I suppose in a sense I was
00:26:44
maybe kind of a poignant moment as well
00:26:46
like getting in the plane and not
00:26:47
needing the extender seat and the
00:26:49
extended belt I remember sharing that
00:26:50
that whole journey and yeah yeah it was
00:26:52
very like full circle I guess for me
00:26:55
um and then while I was over in the
00:26:56
states I was documenting again the
00:26:59
the surgery and I had a full YouTube
00:27:01
channel on it and was sharing it on
00:27:03
Instagram Facebook and YouTube and that
00:27:05
was where Tyra's producers reached out
00:27:09
and got in touch and they wanted to
00:27:11
fly me while I was in the states to the
00:27:13
top you know to LA to the Tyra Bank show
00:27:15
but at this point I was four days
00:27:18
four days post-op so I was still so high
00:27:21
on pain medication I could barely walk
00:27:24
let alone like speak and they're like we
00:27:26
want to get her here my doctorate
00:27:27
surgeon was like well obviously it's a
00:27:29
great PR experience for him too but it's
00:27:33
still an incredibly dangerous thing for
00:27:34
me to go into on my own so he was like
00:27:35
well you can go if I can come with you
00:27:37
so he who's amazing flew with me and we
00:27:39
went and did the Tyra Banks Show which
00:27:41
again was just huge growth in publicity
00:27:44
in terms of my page and an amazing
00:27:46
experience and it you know and its own
00:27:48
right she was amazing so it was the
00:27:49
whole team so yeah did that and that was
00:27:51
that sort of
00:27:52
period there because how much um you
00:27:55
just before we move on from there
00:27:56
because it's a it's a whole fascinating
00:27:59
story and you've done so well how much
00:28:00
loose skin is there when you lose that
00:28:02
much weight that quickly what's the
00:28:04
what's the loose skin like varies person
00:28:06
to person and everyone's skin is so
00:28:07
different I had a lot of low skin and oh
00:28:11
yeah covered and I still got low skin
00:28:13
covering my body too despite having
00:28:14
surgeries uh it's just part of part of
00:28:17
who I am now but yeah it was stegan my
00:28:20
yeah everything was very low
00:28:22
how do you feel about your body now like
00:28:25
when you're when you're naked in front
00:28:26
of the mirror you feel good about what
00:28:27
you see you feel you like the person you
00:28:29
see inside and out yeah I'd actually
00:28:30
decided because I never thought um
00:28:32
having skin removal surgery would be a
00:28:34
financial option for me so I know what's
00:28:36
the cost if you have to pay for it oh
00:28:38
okay anywhere from in Thailand 20 000 up
00:28:41
to hundreds of thousands of dollars
00:28:42
depending on where you go uh but yeah I
00:28:45
just because of the financial situation
00:28:47
I was in I I knew that it just wasn't an
00:28:50
option for me so I I decided that I had
00:28:52
to to
00:28:53
just come to terms with this body this
00:28:55
is my body the reason I did this surgery
00:28:57
was not for vanity it was for my life
00:28:59
and my health and you know hopefully
00:29:01
living to grow family and raise children
00:29:04
and yeah I'd completely done a shitload
00:29:08
of self work to to get to a point where
00:29:11
I I really liked my body even with all
00:29:13
my low skin do you mean what like what
00:29:15
sort of self-work uh so every single
00:29:17
morning
00:29:18
um I look in the mirror and repeat
00:29:19
things to myself that I wanted to
00:29:21
believe and and that was do you remember
00:29:23
what they were oh I was talking about my
00:29:25
legs and like the the loose skin on them
00:29:28
and I'd pull it out and I'd you know
00:29:30
repeat why my legs were powerful that
00:29:32
they moved me places that they were you
00:29:34
know going to carry me through hopefully
00:29:35
having children and all of those sort of
00:29:37
things
00:29:38
um rather than the physical appearance
00:29:40
of them and it just got to the point
00:29:42
where I mean we believe the negative
00:29:43
things that we
00:29:45
we speak to ourselves right because we
00:29:47
repeat them over and over and over it's
00:29:49
the same with positive if you're
00:29:50
repeating something over and over and
00:29:52
over before you know it your brain
00:29:54
starts to believe these things you know
00:29:55
it's a very powerful little little tool
00:29:58
our brains and so that's sort of how I
00:30:00
you know would tackle that and I did a
00:30:02
lot of journaling and just writing down
00:30:03
my feelings and and I guess trying to
00:30:05
come to the bottom of why I didn't like
00:30:08
certain things to try and rewire that in
00:30:10
my head and so much of it was just
00:30:12
society and what Society had told us was
00:30:14
typically beautiful and why couldn't it
00:30:16
be the opposite and I found the more I
00:30:18
shared these parts of myself online the
00:30:20
more I shared photos of these parts it
00:30:22
just it gave me so much confidence and
00:30:23
so much power in them and I was I was
00:30:25
taking that power back you know yeah
00:30:27
good for you I mean think about that
00:30:28
mirror stuff because it's um my my
00:30:31
negative self-talk okay I'm a bully to
00:30:34
myself at times I'm a horrible bully I'm
00:30:36
I'm so hard on myself at times and it's
00:30:38
uh I don't know part of me thinks it's
00:30:40
like a drive or a perfectionism thing
00:30:42
but another part of me thinks when I
00:30:44
catch myself doing it I would not accept
00:30:46
that sort of [ __ ] from anybody else
00:30:48
family member or otherwise so why would
00:30:52
I treat myself that way so how long do
00:30:53
you have to do like the mirror
00:30:55
affirmation stuff before before you
00:30:57
start to believe it I think it's
00:30:58
different for everyone I mean and it
00:30:59
depends how deep rooted your issues are
00:31:01
right like and what you're trying to get
00:31:03
into the bottom of that I honestly truly
00:31:06
believe that with with time and with
00:31:08
repeating something enough and wanting
00:31:10
it to it's something that you can change
00:31:12
like we can change how we view
00:31:14
situations and we can change how we
00:31:16
perceive different people in different
00:31:18
situations so it's exactly the same
00:31:19
within ourselves yeah
00:31:21
oh good for you good for you and it is
00:31:23
this sort of about the time when um
00:31:25
influencing became a thing
00:31:27
where so you had a little bit of Fame
00:31:30
and you see your follow account grew uh
00:31:32
so when you got back from the states
00:31:33
with Tyra like what was you were you on
00:31:35
Instagram then yeah yeah
00:31:37
they actually seemed randomly enough
00:31:40
they sort of ended up growing at a
00:31:42
pretty similar rate like some would go
00:31:44
up higher and one would go up high but
00:31:45
they ended up about exactly the same
00:31:47
over time
00:31:49
um but at that point I think I don't
00:31:51
know if influencing was very much a
00:31:53
thing I remember about a year after that
00:31:55
point
00:31:55
it was when I got my first message and
00:31:58
it was from an oat Biscuit Company
00:32:00
saying we'd love to send you some oat
00:32:02
biscuits I think of course yeah
00:32:07
they said when I tried them and I talked
00:32:09
about it and yeah that was that really
00:32:11
and then you know another brand would
00:32:14
come and do the same thing and it wasn't
00:32:16
until probably six months into that and
00:32:18
just sharing and talking about different
00:32:20
things that I liked and that I was using
00:32:22
or that I'd try and that my godmother
00:32:25
would say what are you charging these
00:32:26
companies so what do you mean what are
00:32:29
you charging you're giving them good
00:32:30
exposure it's marketing so nothing I
00:32:33
can't charge for this so you should even
00:32:35
Ken she's ruthless um and so you know
00:32:38
that sort of got me very forward
00:32:39
thinking on her part yeah I mean it
00:32:41
seems so common now and it makes so much
00:32:43
sense now but at the time it was it was
00:32:45
pretty out there oh very out there and
00:32:47
also I don't like asking for money I
00:32:49
don't like talking about money I don't
00:32:50
like
00:32:51
I like just helping people out so for me
00:32:53
it was an awful thing that I thought
00:32:55
absolutely not and then I remember there
00:32:57
was a business where we did a there was
00:32:59
a t-shirt they sent me and afterwards
00:33:01
they sent me a message saying thanks so
00:33:02
much you sold 180 t-shirts and I thought
00:33:04
well cool that's awesome and then I
00:33:06
talked to my aunt and she was like do
00:33:08
you know what you just made dinner with
00:33:09
a two-minute thing and you know and I
00:33:11
said oh okay maybe I can start talking
00:33:14
about you know money and I just because
00:33:16
I was doing it for myself I remember
00:33:18
someone would get in touch and say will
00:33:20
you share this I said sure it's this
00:33:21
much and they accept it and I'd do it
00:33:23
and the next comment come along I tried
00:33:25
a little bit more I tried a little bit
00:33:26
more and I said ah there we go and it
00:33:29
sort of got to the point where I was so
00:33:30
busy doing these little different gigs
00:33:32
that I was nannying and I built my hair
00:33:35
and makeup business to nearly full time
00:33:36
but I just couldn't do it all but I also
00:33:39
wasn't making enough from social media
00:33:41
to think about
00:33:42
leaving those attitudes yeah you know I
00:33:46
was my only see how I paid the rent each
00:33:48
week and so that was a you know a big
00:33:51
decision and that actually took meeting
00:33:53
my partner Trent and we'd been together
00:33:56
for about a year by that point and him
00:33:58
saying look I can cover the rent if you
00:34:01
can't afford it but I want you to give
00:34:03
this a go and see if you can you know
00:34:05
turn it into something and I remember
00:34:06
that very first week once I'd left my
00:34:09
nanny job getting two big contracts that
00:34:13
were basically half my Year's income and
00:34:15
it was just that moment for me that like
00:34:17
I can I can do this and it was a
00:34:20
universe saying that you know I just
00:34:21
opened myself up to it and I was yeah
00:34:23
that was a driving go factor for me as
00:34:26
far as like the influenza Scene goes in
00:34:28
New Zealand you've got to be making more
00:34:29
than anyone else don't you I don't know
00:34:31
every time I every day I go to your
00:34:33
story it looks like honestly there's so
00:34:36
many little dashes it looks like it
00:34:37
looks like a woodpecker's been on a
00:34:39
morse code machine yeah why my husband
00:34:41
doesn't watch my story
00:34:45
what do you mean they're like do you
00:34:48
know watch his stories he's like of
00:34:49
course I don't look at all those little
00:34:50
dots and you have managed to turn it
00:34:53
into a very viable very viable career
00:34:55
for myself yeah good for you I enjoy it
00:34:59
um yeah yeah I want to get to your
00:35:01
schedule and stuff and how you do it
00:35:02
because it's I feel like you have a
00:35:06
really good schedule and routine and
00:35:08
structure in your life whereas me I
00:35:09
probably end up spending more time on
00:35:10
Instagram than what you do but I'm just
00:35:12
looking at other people's [ __ ] but I'm
00:35:13
guessing you're on there yeah we'll just
00:35:15
talk about that now so do you like have
00:35:18
um an hour a day where you do posts or
00:35:20
to it like do you have like a social
00:35:21
media time or are you just on your phone
00:35:23
through yeah so I schedule my day out at
00:35:26
the start of every week and I'll have
00:35:28
all my non-negotiables in there first
00:35:30
which is my exercise and my little bits
00:35:31
and pieces for me and then any work
00:35:33
contracts that come into it I'll put in
00:35:35
where I need to you know fulfill those
00:35:37
and then I schedule in in different
00:35:39
slots in the day responding to messages
00:35:41
because on an average day I could spend
00:35:42
anywhere from four to six hours
00:35:44
responding to messages and that was a
00:35:45
lot more when I had my story replies on
00:35:47
uh so yeah I do I fully have to view it
00:35:51
as it's not a social thing for me it's
00:35:54
not an enjoyment platform I don't spend
00:35:56
any time scrolling Instagram or looking
00:35:58
at other people's content it's only if
00:36:00
it pops up straight away and then I'll
00:36:02
actually use it as like I wonder what
00:36:04
other people are doing to see where the
00:36:05
industry's at I'll have to use it as
00:36:07
like a you've got to keep up with this
00:36:08
because you're an app but I don't use it
00:36:10
as like a I don't see what my friends
00:36:12
are up to or anything like that when
00:36:14
you're on there it's work yeah yeah
00:36:17
and um you mentioned uh twin before so
00:36:19
how did you guys make and when did you
00:36:21
guys meet we met which would make false
00:36:23
sense with what I do um online on Tinder
00:36:25
and we met in 2000 well seven years ago
00:36:28
so
00:36:29
2015. so after you had the skin removed
00:36:31
uh yeah wait yeah just after right right
00:36:36
about a month what do you think I mean
00:36:37
everything in terms of timing and stuff
00:36:39
everything I think in life happens for a
00:36:41
reason
00:36:42
um but you know we talked before about
00:36:44
how you felt like the same person you
00:36:45
felt like the same person knows what you
00:36:46
felt back then but obviously physically
00:36:48
you looked very different do you think
00:36:50
if you met say 10 years ago he you know
00:36:52
there would have still been that
00:36:53
attraction he would have fallen in love
00:36:54
definitely not I was not you know like
00:36:57
in terms of
00:36:59
where you are at life where I was at we
00:37:02
were not anywhat aligned he's got a huge
00:37:04
passion for hiking and fitness and you
00:37:07
know different things I just would never
00:37:08
ever have aligned with him either and I
00:37:11
just think timing wise I was also at a
00:37:14
point where I was ready to meet someone
00:37:15
I decided that I was really happy where
00:37:18
I was in my life you know everything was
00:37:19
sort of flowing nicely but I was ready
00:37:21
and open to have that relationship again
00:37:23
after obviously my last relationship I
00:37:25
had a lot of work to do after that and
00:37:28
yeah no I don't think we would have but
00:37:30
we might have met but we're five years
00:37:33
differing ages so it was just oh yeah
00:37:35
he's younger than you yeah
00:37:41
I was 24 he was 19. 19. controversial
00:37:44
the whole family we like Hungarian it's
00:37:47
just a thing is that right is it yeah
00:37:49
well yeah no all of us well I mean they
00:37:53
don't care but as you get older it's
00:37:54
nothing right so now it feels like
00:37:55
nothing but at the time it was
00:37:57
definitely like quite a big deal you're
00:37:59
talking about someone that was in
00:38:01
university I mean let's yeah but he's a
00:38:04
grown-ass man but you could still if you
00:38:06
wanted to frame him as being a teenage
00:38:07
boy looking back on photos I think it
00:38:10
did look very young like yeah but I I
00:38:13
looked younger then too so
00:38:17
um well God what was this age what was
00:38:19
your age when sitting on Tinder and what
00:38:21
was his well I started and mine was only
00:38:24
a few years either side and then I like
00:38:26
saturated that market I'd gone on
00:38:28
everything and then I decided to just
00:38:31
extend it slowly year by year until you
00:38:34
know it says no more matches and as
00:38:36
you've gone through so I thought I'll do
00:38:37
it a little bit further I'd go on a few
00:38:39
more dates they were terrible extended a
00:38:41
little bit further so I was probably
00:38:42
quite old and quite Young by that yeah
00:38:44
illegally yeah yeah yeah but yeah during
00:38:48
the whole thing yeah and then the um the
00:38:51
geographic rate range that needs to get
00:38:52
higher like okay I'll go 200k that's
00:38:55
fine I don't mind a weekend in
00:38:57
Wellington yeah
00:38:59
59 each way it's good and when did you
00:39:03
realize it was love was it Philly
00:39:04
instant or very very quickly for me um I
00:39:07
was a lot I think quicker on that side
00:39:09
of things than him we had our first few
00:39:11
dates it was just so easy and
00:39:14
just so natural and now we just had so
00:39:16
much fun and I remember after probably
00:39:19
two or three weeks just locking in one
00:39:22
day and I just had this uncontrollable
00:39:24
urge that I just had to tell him how I
00:39:26
felt and I said I've got something I
00:39:29
love you and what was this like date
00:39:32
three did you say no no week three four
00:39:34
weeks we'd seen each other every day
00:39:35
okay every day and you know I've spent a
00:39:37
lot of time together but it was just
00:39:39
very quick for me and I just remember
00:39:40
him just going powerless guys so
00:39:45
um I I really like you and I just
00:39:48
remember my heart breaking into like
00:39:50
there's only one correct answer a
00:39:52
million paces and just thinking what
00:39:54
have I done have I ruined this like
00:39:56
coming way too hot and it was just like
00:39:58
okay well let's just brush over there
00:39:59
and it was about a week later he was
00:40:02
like look I you know
00:40:04
I I do love you I really love you I just
00:40:06
it takes me a lot to get to that point
00:40:07
and I just I wanted to really make sure
00:40:09
I knew it before saying because I don't
00:40:10
want to ever say it with it you know
00:40:12
it's a very very genuine caring caring
00:40:15
person and I just think he needed to
00:40:17
know deep down he's got a lot of um
00:40:19
very strong religious views and morals
00:40:22
and it just a lot was playing into it I
00:40:24
know that that's respect to this day not
00:40:26
that it didn't take away from the hurt
00:40:27
and the shattering at the time and the
00:40:30
embarrassment but you know were you well
00:40:33
so he so you said I love you and he said
00:40:36
I like you and then a week later he says
00:40:37
I love you yeah was um what was that
00:40:40
week like were you salty towards him
00:40:42
like did he end up saying after a week
00:40:43
because he's like oh God I need to give
00:40:45
myself out of the dog box no that we was
00:40:48
actually totally fine and I think you
00:40:49
know like we did talk through afterwards
00:40:51
and explained his feelings around it and
00:40:53
everything like that but no it was just
00:40:55
it's normal yeah yeah oh that's
00:40:57
beautiful so yeah um I mean he got
00:40:59
married quite young then I guess to this
00:41:00
day and age yeah yeah he did
00:41:03
um
00:41:04
yeah well
00:41:06
27 25 25 yeah yeah
00:41:10
she's on the younger side yeah he always
00:41:12
said he wanted to be a young father and
00:41:15
yeah yeah and your parents you've got a
00:41:18
a child you've got a son yes how old's
00:41:20
your son he is 15 months just 10 15
00:41:23
months how's that been it's been amazing
00:41:25
he's just the coolest little addition to
00:41:27
our lives and I think I always knew
00:41:29
growing up that I my biggest biggest
00:41:32
wish in biggest dream in life was to be
00:41:34
a mother and I always had this and I
00:41:36
think that's why for me that weight loss
00:41:38
driving factor to lose weight was just
00:41:40
so strong because I knew if I could do
00:41:42
this hopefully I'd have a better chance
00:41:44
of conceiving and you know having a
00:41:47
healthier healthy baby and and he's just
00:41:50
been yeah the greatest addition and we
00:41:52
were just so ready for him too you know
00:41:54
it was the perfect stage of life we
00:41:55
wanted it we set up in terms of how we
00:41:58
wanted to be set up to have a child and
00:42:00
raise a child so he's been amazing yeah
00:42:02
yeah and I mean so social media like
00:42:05
everyone talks about how it's um like a
00:42:06
like a highlights wheel or a snapshot of
00:42:08
people's lives but you you do seem to
00:42:09
share a lot but you also make um
00:42:11
parenting look like quite easy it's like
00:42:13
you're breezing through it yeah are you
00:42:16
uh yeah I get this a lot and I think
00:42:18
what a lot of people are going to hate
00:42:20
you for this yeah when I talk about a
00:42:23
Parenthood and people say why don't you
00:42:24
show the shitty side and I I find it
00:42:27
really tough because
00:42:29
we're parenting from a huge place of
00:42:32
privilege are huge we've got two really
00:42:35
good incomes we're not coming from it
00:42:37
from any Financial struggle we can
00:42:39
afford nappies each week wipes and food
00:42:41
we don't have to worry about the rent or
00:42:42
the mortgage or anything not coming out
00:42:45
we don't have any of that Financial
00:42:46
stress we've got two parents that Trent
00:42:49
works from home a lot of the time so I
00:42:52
still get flexibility and well as you're
00:42:54
sleeping at lunch I can go out and get
00:42:55
my nails done so many mothers and
00:42:57
parents are working you know some dads
00:42:59
working 12-hour days mothers that can't
00:43:02
ever leave their children we can afford
00:43:04
daycare two days a week so I can get
00:43:05
back into work it's it's just such a
00:43:08
place of privilege we've got family
00:43:10
around us like Trent's parents would
00:43:13
literally they'll live two hours away
00:43:14
but they drive in the drop of a half I
00:43:16
said I'm struggling and they'd be here
00:43:17
to look after we've got friends that
00:43:19
babysit we can afford babysitters so
00:43:21
Parenthood for us has we've got this
00:43:24
amazing Village around us and it hasn't
00:43:26
been challenging yes it's challenging
00:43:28
moments of anything know right like when
00:43:31
you talk about any situation any job any
00:43:34
part of life they're a sticky
00:43:35
challenging moments but I think when you
00:43:38
look at it from a lens of perspective I
00:43:40
I can't complain about Parenthood and I
00:43:42
can't say it's been really tough or
00:43:43
really hard because our position is from
00:43:45
a huge place of privilege and I just
00:43:47
feel so lucky and I also never ever
00:43:48
thought
00:43:50
that I truly have this baby and another
00:43:52
one on the way and I just feel grateful
00:43:53
for that so you are you are quite good
00:43:56
with that gratitude stuff are you you
00:43:58
really no no like boiling things down to
00:44:00
a base level like um before you you came
00:44:02
and say for this chat I uh I um typed
00:44:05
your name into Spotify just to see what
00:44:06
other podcasts you've been on there's
00:44:07
anyone that came up and in that you
00:44:09
talked about how you know like sometimes
00:44:11
when you're doing the washing or
00:44:12
whatever you'll take a moment to reflect
00:44:14
how lucky you are to have like a washing
00:44:16
machine and you don't have to go to
00:44:16
laundromat or whatever which I started
00:44:18
laughing I was listening at the gym it
00:44:20
was like well I never think about [ __ ]
00:44:22
like that but if you if you if you take
00:44:24
gratitude like for a bass level like
00:44:26
that
00:44:27
um it does make your life a whole lot
00:44:28
easier and a whole lot better I guess
00:44:29
yeah it's been something my parents have
00:44:31
always instilled and us kids from a
00:44:34
really young age is to be grateful like
00:44:36
always to strive for more and to have
00:44:38
goals and aspirations but to be
00:44:40
incredibly grateful for where you are
00:44:42
right now because where you are right
00:44:43
now is a place you would have dreamed of
00:44:45
five years ago and I think that is a
00:44:47
constant reminder for me if I ever find
00:44:48
myself carried away and they're like I
00:44:50
want this or I want that or I want to be
00:44:52
there I just take a step back and I
00:44:53
think actually Simon five years ago I
00:44:56
would have dreamed of just having this
00:44:58
baby and being in this moment right now
00:44:59
and you know not having to like not
00:45:02
having the stress of
00:45:04
worrying about the mortgage coming out
00:45:05
and things like that and it's just a
00:45:07
place of I think if you put it in
00:45:08
perspective it does make it makes you
00:45:10
really happy each day is like I don't
00:45:12
know I just don't stress about little
00:45:14
[ __ ] that often very really you know
00:45:17
it's hard though it's not always um as
00:45:19
easy said as what it has done but if you
00:45:22
can be like happy and enjoy the moment
00:45:24
um Life's a lot better like happiness
00:45:26
has got to be a place where you're at
00:45:28
now rather than a place in the future
00:45:29
yeah I feel like if you constantly
00:45:32
striving towards something more there's
00:45:34
always something that you feel is
00:45:35
missing whereas actually you've got if
00:45:38
you look around sorry that was my tummy
00:45:40
making weird things you've got you know
00:45:41
basically everything you want right
00:45:43
yeah
00:45:46
oh gosh we can raise the sound on there
00:45:49
it'll be a real good real good
00:45:52
I don't know I just yeah I feel grateful
00:45:54
for it we'll get you a sponsorship deal
00:45:56
with quickies yeah I need that after gas
00:45:59
to replace Cedric yeah
00:46:01
um and how's how's your mental health
00:46:03
been over the years it's like um like
00:46:05
from the outset it seems it seems it
00:46:06
seems good like there must have been
00:46:07
down I I don't know like just going back
00:46:10
to the thing you said really early on on
00:46:12
the podcast like about your mum you're
00:46:13
finding your mum out to see um try to
00:46:16
take her own life when you were when you
00:46:17
were 13 so there's there's obviously
00:46:19
mental health issues in the family have
00:46:20
you sort of dodged a bullet for the most
00:46:22
part or is it something you've had to
00:46:24
work on really hard never struggled and
00:46:27
this is a something that I'm forever
00:46:29
grateful for because I can only imagine
00:46:31
how much I out of life is if you do
00:46:33
struggle with any sort of mental health
00:46:34
you know illness and I've never
00:46:37
struggled with any sort of depression or
00:46:38
anxiety or anything in that realm I've
00:46:41
had really low points in my life I've
00:46:43
had really challenging situations I've
00:46:44
had points where I've felt just defeated
00:46:47
but I've never had that like what people
00:46:50
because I don't know what it feels like
00:46:51
describes that cloud come over you where
00:46:53
you don't feel like you can find their
00:46:54
way out so I feel incredibly blessed in
00:46:57
that sense that I haven't had to fight
00:46:58
that battle what do those moments of
00:47:00
defeat that you're talking about
00:47:02
um just a huge
00:47:05
huge points where you know I mean just
00:47:09
before I
00:47:10
go on to start this whole weight loss
00:47:12
journey I remember losing I had training
00:47:15
jobs I lost all three because the kids
00:47:16
were school-aged children and I tried to
00:47:19
find new work
00:47:20
um and and couldn't there was nothing
00:47:22
going and I got to the point where I had
00:47:24
two dollars in my bank account couldn't
00:47:26
afford my rent
00:47:27
that week and I just you know it was
00:47:30
just so money issues are a huge huge
00:47:33
video I just couldn't get out of it and
00:47:35
I remember having to go to um
00:47:38
work and income and I couldn't afford to
00:47:40
bus down there so I had to walk down
00:47:42
there and that was a huge thing for me
00:47:43
at that time and oh yeah that's when you
00:47:45
couldn't couldn't really putting the
00:47:47
rubbishments yeah so that was a big
00:47:49
thing that was you know a few cares
00:47:51
um and like that was just a huge you
00:47:53
know I was like how do I keep going it's
00:47:55
like I couldn't find jobs and then for I
00:47:57
was on work and income for a few months
00:47:59
and they send you out to job interviews
00:48:01
and things like that I keep getting
00:48:03
declined and not being excited I was
00:48:05
just super defeating you know that's one
00:48:07
little moment but yeah I've had
00:48:10
can't really think of the top of my head
00:48:11
but points where I've I felt like you
00:48:13
just don't really want to like you don't
00:48:15
have that spark or that Joy or you know
00:48:17
anymore but yeah it happens so it
00:48:20
happens
00:48:21
I mean you you um you don't have to go
00:48:24
too far into your like Instagram account
00:48:25
you've got a massive following by the
00:48:27
way 300 and something thousand and uh
00:48:30
there's so many like Brands and
00:48:31
companies that want to work with you
00:48:33
um and I suppose with that it does come
00:48:36
out it does come at a price and uh
00:48:38
whether it's based on on Envy or
00:48:40
something else there is a [ __ ] ton of
00:48:42
trolling directed your way a lot of like
00:48:45
real negative comments and I I don't
00:48:48
care what anyone says that [ __ ] does
00:48:50
hurt I definitely am I I'd say Well when
00:48:54
it started like five six years ago when
00:48:56
I felt really started
00:48:58
I had some
00:49:00
horrific days where I would read this
00:49:03
stuff and I'd just stew and I'm such a
00:49:06
people pleaser I go out of my way to
00:49:09
make sure that people like me I try my
00:49:11
hardest in life to be a liked person to
00:49:13
do good things to be kind and for these
00:49:17
people to not really give a [ __ ] about
00:49:19
any of that and still have their opinion
00:49:21
it really hurt and I would just like
00:49:24
dwell on it and I was actually trained
00:49:27
that it was just so good at getting me
00:49:29
out of that funk he was like do that
00:49:31
have these people ever met you no do
00:49:33
these people know you do your friends
00:49:35
and family think these things no do you
00:49:37
know does anyone that's ever met you
00:49:38
think these things about you no
00:49:41
he said well you have to be okay and
00:49:43
knowing that who you are and knowing
00:49:45
what your moral compass is and knowing
00:49:47
that you know what life you want to live
00:49:50
and it was that would definitely help me
00:49:52
it still wasn't easy it took years and I
00:49:54
think it actually took years of just
00:49:55
developing a really just a skin around
00:49:59
it and just having mechanisms and coping
00:50:02
you know things that I'd say to myself
00:50:03
and not reading it firstly is you know
00:50:06
if you can help it and avoid it and and
00:50:08
not letting yourself go down that track
00:50:11
of just like dwelling on it you know
00:50:13
it's it's hard though I I try and remind
00:50:15
myself um
00:50:16
you know I think of my like like in a
00:50:19
circle of say 15 or 20 people and you
00:50:20
think would any of those people ever go
00:50:22
to someone's page of someone they don't
00:50:24
know and write something like that and
00:50:26
the answer I always come to is no
00:50:28
absolutely [ __ ] not
00:50:31
honestly well you have the same check
00:50:33
the eye look and I can lock it but we've
00:50:35
got a very large extended
00:50:37
unique varied weird and quirky bunch of
00:50:41
friends and family in our life and I
00:50:43
could look at our closest 50 and say
00:50:45
truthfully that same thing I have never
00:50:47
seen anyone rely on a New Zealand Herald
00:50:49
article I don't think anyone comment on
00:50:52
anyone's page or send them a message
00:50:54
privately with something nasty and it
00:50:57
comes down to the fact that they're all
00:50:58
living
00:50:59
really fulfilled quite happy generally
00:51:04
like content lives and they've got no
00:51:06
desire to do that you know I think that
00:51:08
must take a certain type of person and
00:51:10
that certain type of person is clearly
00:51:12
they're struggling in themselves because
00:51:14
you there's just no need to you just
00:51:15
would never feel the need you don't look
00:51:17
at anyone that's doing cool [ __ ] they're
00:51:20
sitting online
00:51:21
yeah riding crap you know yeah that's
00:51:24
unless it's their career yeah that is
00:51:27
that is so Trend that's something that
00:51:29
um over the years I think I've developed
00:51:31
more
00:51:32
first of all when you see like a a main
00:51:35
comment director at yourself it hurts
00:51:36
you and then you feel rage or whatever
00:51:38
but then I try and step back and go [ __ ]
00:51:40
that person must be having a real prick
00:51:42
of a day like they must be dealing with
00:51:44
some some heavy [ __ ] to be that angry
00:51:47
about someone they don't even know in a
00:51:49
situation they're not even aware of
00:51:50
really yeah and everything comes from a
00:51:52
point of your own lens and your own
00:51:54
perspective right so
00:51:55
even if that person is they're feeling
00:51:58
okay at their point of life right then
00:52:00
and there and they're not battling
00:52:01
anything right there their experience up
00:52:03
into that point has formed them into who
00:52:05
they are and their view on a certain
00:52:07
situation so if they're then going to
00:52:09
have a negative view around something
00:52:10
like that that could have been something
00:52:11
that 10 years ago is triggering them you
00:52:14
know that they haven't worked through or
00:52:15
that is still really upsetting for them
00:52:17
and it's
00:52:18
you know that I just can't see it now in
00:52:21
this for me where I am now having a huge
00:52:23
effect on some of these comments it's
00:52:25
just you have to brush it off it has to
00:52:27
be I more try and take the purse out of
00:52:30
it it's um yeah easier said than done
00:52:32
though to Shake it Off have you ever
00:52:33
needed like therapy or counseling over
00:52:35
the years no I've never
00:52:37
my favorite thing for me I I I'm an oat
00:52:40
like I really love cheating and I love
00:52:42
talking and I'm very open in with those
00:52:45
around me so I think
00:52:46
probably unfortunately those closest to
00:52:48
me just end up dealing with and hearing
00:52:51
all my all my stuff so you know open
00:52:53
book with everyone
00:52:54
I mean that's that's quite good if
00:52:56
you've got those relationships like
00:52:57
because that's essentially what therapy
00:52:58
is so except if you've got like a
00:53:00
trained professional giving you some
00:53:01
different perspectives and ways of
00:53:02
looking at it rather than just oh don't
00:53:04
worry about it yeah therapist so don't
00:53:06
worry about it
00:53:07
um what about I I don't know if you want
00:53:10
to go there but some of the nastiest I
00:53:11
mean so is there any that like stick out
00:53:13
is like wow I can't believe someone
00:53:15
would write that about another human
00:53:16
being oh I get lots on my on my physical
00:53:19
appearance yeah like what I was
00:53:21
scrutinized I get told I look like a
00:53:24
transvestite that I looked like I do
00:53:26
surely that's a dude
00:53:28
um people zoom in on my toes and are you
00:53:31
wearing clothes shoes
00:53:34
I don't know I I've never thought my
00:53:36
toes are that weird
00:53:39
oh
00:53:40
they're quite long are they quite long
00:53:42
toes is that what people say I don't
00:53:44
know they just like look at the
00:53:45
separation between those two and oh the
00:53:48
third is longer than the no it's not but
00:53:50
okay
00:53:51
Dougie does she need to hold it up to a
00:53:53
camera watch it everyone came with three
00:53:56
here we go
00:53:59
what a weird thing to do things it's so
00:54:02
weird and I've never really looked too
00:54:05
closely at my toes until you know until
00:54:07
those comments and they say E.T cool
00:54:09
wants your toes back or something
00:54:11
um
00:54:12
that's kind of funny
00:54:14
you know oh sorry I'll move this back
00:54:16
all of it's quite amusing when it comes
00:54:18
down to that and I have no pinpoint
00:54:21
parts of my body where they'll talk
00:54:23
about like lumps and bumps on the side
00:54:25
of my body instead of Photoshop that
00:54:27
part of my body and when in reality it's
00:54:29
the fact that I've lost weight and I've
00:54:31
now got a shitload of low skin and
00:54:32
cellulite and that's what they're seeing
00:54:34
in the photo but it's you just get
00:54:36
scrutinized for all of that's the thing
00:54:37
I think the comments that hit me the
00:54:39
most are the ones where it's about me
00:54:41
Sam you know about this innocent little
00:54:43
child like what what sort of things
00:54:45
would people say about a baby oh that he
00:54:47
was he's slow to talk right um that he's
00:54:50
developing differently or you know like
00:54:52
things like that where he's just a
00:54:54
normal baby and developing its own race
00:54:55
and yeah stuff like that that you just
00:54:58
find bizarre why would you put you know
00:54:59
focus on me tear me apart no no no no no
00:55:02
no don't just don't tear it anyway
00:55:05
you need to thank me or the kid no no
00:55:10
yeah that's another weird
00:55:12
thing I feel like this is um maybe a key
00:55:14
I don't know if this is a universal
00:55:16
thing or a kiwi thing but it's like
00:55:17
people say the solution is well if you
00:55:19
don't if you don't want to subject
00:55:21
yourself to this sort of criticism don't
00:55:22
put yourself out there which seems
00:55:25
I don't know it just seems like a weird
00:55:26
thing to say it's like if you don't want
00:55:28
people to comment on you just don't do
00:55:29
anything with your life ever yeah well I
00:55:31
get that a lot it's like well she's
00:55:33
chosen to live her life online uh so
00:55:36
she's asking for it or you know she's
00:55:38
choosing to do this publicly so she
00:55:40
deserves to be one of them with she
00:55:42
shares herself publicly she gained her
00:55:44
attraction because of uh losing weight
00:55:46
so her body deserves to be scrutinized
00:55:48
and it's just a bizarre thing for me
00:55:50
that because you are more of that public
00:55:53
figure somehow all your rights and all
00:55:55
your human just general respect goes
00:55:58
away and that you can suddenly you know
00:56:00
public can just tear your part for every
00:56:01
element it's I don't get it but that's
00:56:04
how some people view it it's lucky that
00:56:06
you've got the um the strength of
00:56:08
character to sort of deal with and
00:56:09
process that uh like someone that
00:56:11
Springs to mind is um do you know
00:56:13
Charlotte Dawson yeah so Charlotte
00:56:14
Dawson um Australian New Zealand sort of
00:56:18
influencer I guess you'd call it but
00:56:19
even before the time of social media
00:56:21
your social art influence or whatever
00:56:23
and she um she ended up getting a very
00:56:25
of comments from people you know telling
00:56:27
her that she should she should kill
00:56:28
herself and she ended up doing it so if
00:56:30
you catch someone on a bad day and you
00:56:31
hit them with the wrong comment like it
00:56:32
can be really negative do you think so
00:56:34
it seems like you've always been been
00:56:36
good have you like has this social media
00:56:39
Journey made you more resilient and even
00:56:41
stronger do you think more Steely yeah
00:56:44
just out of necessity or you had to it's
00:56:47
either for me it was a there were a few
00:56:49
points where it got incredibly bad two
00:56:51
years ago I think when all the Herald
00:56:54
articles and everything was just wild
00:56:56
and it was about two months of my life
00:56:58
where
00:56:59
it was it was tough you there wasn't a
00:57:02
day where you weren't being thrown under
00:57:04
the bus for something that you hadn't
00:57:05
done what was that about I missed that
00:57:07
completely it was about a scandal
00:57:09
towards
00:57:10
um charity basically donations that was
00:57:13
proved as not true uh but that was even
00:57:17
once they got the proof it was still
00:57:19
everywhere right and you're still your
00:57:21
whole character's being torn apart and
00:57:23
it was during that time where and there
00:57:26
was you know a few points where it was
00:57:28
just it was incredibly bloody tough
00:57:30
because I'm someone that I built my
00:57:32
reputation on on being a nice person and
00:57:34
being kind and being caring and being
00:57:36
there for my community and having that
00:57:37
taken away and a heartbeat was it was
00:57:40
friggin challenging and that definitely
00:57:42
getting through that period it was uh do
00:57:45
I keep doing this I've got a choice
00:57:47
right I can keep doing this and keep
00:57:49
doing this career or I can give it up
00:57:51
and I refused to give it up and you know
00:57:54
I knew I wanted to keep going with this
00:57:55
because I knew who I was and what my
00:57:58
message was that I wanted to share and
00:57:59
yeah it was it was a very very tough
00:58:02
time but getting through that now
00:58:06
just know that anything that comes my
00:58:08
way I can deal with
00:58:10
yeah good for you yeah that is rough but
00:58:12
it's not the same for everyone and
00:58:13
that's why I think I'm so passionately
00:58:14
and why I share trolled comments towards
00:58:17
myself and my family and why I'll talk
00:58:19
about these I guess these negative
00:58:21
comments is because of what like what
00:58:22
you've talked about is that there are
00:58:24
people that will receive it that won't
00:58:25
be able to deal with it won't have the
00:58:26
strength and even if it's from someone
00:58:28
they don't even know like it might
00:58:29
impact them more than what you'd ever
00:58:30
think especially especially especially
00:58:32
worry about like you know school age
00:58:34
kids well that's what I was going to say
00:58:35
it was like teenagers and I can't fathom
00:58:37
loving my teenage years now with that
00:58:41
social media side as well teenage years
00:58:43
were tough right it was hard to navigate
00:58:45
and hard to get through and imagine
00:58:47
living that online with the possibility
00:58:49
of you know yeah trolling what's
00:58:52
terrible like I'm a I'm a even a
00:58:54
generation older than you but so when I
00:58:55
went to school
00:58:56
um there were bullies at school and no
00:58:58
one no one got off unscathed yeah um but
00:59:00
then you go home and that's your sort of
00:59:02
sanctuary yeah and uh you were free from
00:59:04
the bullies for the night until it was
00:59:06
the next time now I feel like the
00:59:09
bullying is probably even worse when you
00:59:10
get home and you know the teachers
00:59:12
aren't around and the kids are in their
00:59:13
bedroom on their phones or whatever yeah
00:59:15
and they just feel that sense of I think
00:59:16
being hiding behind a phone gives people
00:59:19
a sense of power I have never once in my
00:59:22
eight year career had anyone come up to
00:59:24
my face and say anything even remotely
00:59:26
negative not once but yet I receive it
00:59:29
on a daily basis and that's that's a lot
00:59:31
I've knit like that's where the phrase
00:59:33
keyboard Warrior comes from yeah I'm out
00:59:34
and about I'm very social I'm very
00:59:36
public I'm very seen I go to you know
00:59:39
what I mean I'm like people could stop
00:59:40
me and they off you know often say so
00:59:42
hit the supermarket but no one's ever
00:59:44
stopped me and said you're a you're a
00:59:46
[ __ ] and I don't like what you're
00:59:47
wearing today you know what I mean but
00:59:49
yeah I'm very happily people all say
00:59:51
that online and I think that really
00:59:53
shows the power because it you take that
00:59:55
away you take the keyboard away they
00:59:58
truly they don't have the strength to
01:00:00
say that yeah the the the stuff that you
01:00:02
were talking about before when when
01:00:04
things got really tough there's um
01:00:05
there's I think there's two things
01:00:07
there's um there's character and there's
01:00:10
reputation and they sound like the same
01:00:11
thing but they're actually completely
01:00:12
different character is like who you are
01:00:14
and who you know you are and reputation
01:00:16
is something that's completely out of
01:00:17
your control which is um seems just so
01:00:20
unfair doesn't it that so someone else
01:00:22
can write something about you and then
01:00:23
people read it and go well okay well
01:00:25
[ __ ] she did that because I read it yeah
01:00:27
that's your reputation but you know your
01:00:29
character you know you're a good person
01:00:30
yeah well I never really
01:00:33
understood the difference of the toe or
01:00:35
you thought there was a difference of
01:00:36
the toe until going through it and
01:00:38
you're right you can't do anything about
01:00:40
your reputation and what people choose
01:00:42
to perceive you as
01:00:43
um and all I can do is just continue
01:00:45
doing what I do and live my life towards
01:00:48
true is I love my life and I cannot
01:00:51
worry about the opinion of others you
01:00:53
know as long as those in my that know me
01:00:54
those I work with those you know that
01:00:57
actually have values and matters like
01:00:59
you know I care about their opinion and
01:01:01
it seems like you do have good a good
01:01:03
sort of inner circle of family and
01:01:04
friends that will call you out on your
01:01:05
[ __ ] oh yeah and or always
01:01:25
um it did a campaign with Panadol uh and
01:01:28
their whole thing was around basically
01:01:29
it wasn't promoting Panadol it was
01:01:31
talking about mental health and and ways
01:01:33
to basically improve your mental health
01:01:35
and I thought what an amazing thing to
01:01:36
do so I was talking about like what you
01:01:37
can do what things that I do to help
01:01:39
improve my mental health it was just
01:01:41
sponsored by Penn I never really saw it
01:01:42
as like this negative thing but then
01:01:44
people Twisted it and said she's
01:01:46
promoting Panadol to help with your
01:01:49
mental health and so it just was a it
01:01:51
was a big thing it was reported to the
01:01:52
NSA and yeah it got a couple of articles
01:01:56
on it yeah well see which now I wouldn't
01:01:59
accept a campaign like that but at the
01:02:01
time I didn't see it as a something that
01:02:03
could be twisted in a bad way I thought
01:02:04
how cool what a great great thing that
01:02:06
they're doing okay well that's I mean
01:02:07
that's a good thing and that's I suppose
01:02:08
the next thing I was going to get to
01:02:09
like um like everyone makes mistakes if
01:02:11
you're not living a life where you make
01:02:13
mistakes then you're not living a full
01:02:14
life at all but I think as long as you
01:02:17
um as long as you can acknowledge them
01:02:18
and learn from them and grow from them
01:02:20
then I think mistakes are something that
01:02:21
should be like embraced and almost
01:02:23
celebrated in a way rather than oh we
01:02:25
all well I know I like screw up all the
01:02:27
time and that's okay and I learn from
01:02:29
those mistakes you know and I've never
01:02:31
ever claimed to be perfect I don't want
01:02:32
to ever be perfect it's not who I am you
01:02:35
know and I think those mistakes and
01:02:37
along my whole life whether it's my
01:02:38
career or just shitty things that I've
01:02:41
done have you know really formed me into
01:02:42
who I am today I feel like you've had
01:02:45
more I don't know maybe more scrutiny
01:02:47
than most because like you're the you're
01:02:49
you're the the top of the pyramid I
01:02:51
suppose what I mean by that is that's
01:02:52
like um
01:02:54
um every every influencer or even even
01:02:57
like [ __ ] influencers like me
01:02:59
that'll get a campaign every blue moon
01:03:01
um we have to write hashtag ad or
01:03:03
hashtag spawn on every post and I feel
01:03:05
like you're the reason that everyone has
01:03:06
to do that now and I feel like you were
01:03:08
the target at because you were doing
01:03:10
more campaigns and getting more work and
01:03:12
having more followers than anyone else
01:03:13
is that fear yes it was really
01:03:15
interesting when this all happened
01:03:17
um I got pulled out for
01:03:20
a few things a few different campaigns
01:03:22
where they said I hadn't been
01:03:23
transparent with sharing with it was an
01:03:25
ad or not I thought that's interesting I
01:03:27
didn't know that you had to I'd always
01:03:29
said gifted hashtag gifted or or spoken
01:03:32
and this was gifted and I remember one
01:03:34
of them was a hotel stay with
01:03:36
um a company with a few times I was
01:03:38
going to name them but I don't give them
01:03:40
any more grief they've been through
01:03:42
enough
01:03:44
um and I'd said I'm off to stay with you
01:03:47
know here yeah no no don't bring them
01:03:51
into us
01:03:52
um
01:03:53
bite it in here and you know I can't
01:03:55
wait and so I thought that was very
01:03:57
clear and then they said oh you haven't
01:03:59
been clear I thought okay
01:04:01
that's cool and then they said oh you
01:04:03
can either edit your posts or remove
01:04:05
them and I thought well I've done
01:04:07
nothing wrong like when one of them was
01:04:09
just wearing um Eamon which is brand
01:04:11
I've worked with before for years and
01:04:13
years and I hadn't even talked about
01:04:15
them I just had it on my top and so I
01:04:17
thought well I'm not promoting them but
01:04:19
anyway this was used as like the the
01:04:21
case study that they then wrote
01:04:23
guidelines around so there weren't
01:04:25
guidelines I hadn't broken any
01:04:27
guidelines but they then used these as
01:04:29
the like
01:04:35
which is amazing and it's incredible
01:04:37
that there are these rules in place and
01:04:39
that there are guidelines because it was
01:04:40
such a wild waste of an industry for so
01:04:42
long and that there was no actual rules
01:04:45
no rules right and so that was that was
01:04:48
cool that that's done but then what
01:04:49
happened with that is that obviously the
01:04:51
media got hold of it and it became this
01:04:53
big she broke this she didn't do this
01:04:55
she wasn't being truthful when in
01:04:57
reality there was nothing that
01:05:00
nothing there to be you know what I mean
01:05:02
upheld against but even though there
01:05:04
wasn't rules and regulations I was still
01:05:05
upheld and it was just a learning curve
01:05:07
it was you know definitely from then on
01:05:10
you sort of think [ __ ] don't want to get
01:05:11
that wrong and you know you learn and
01:05:13
grow yeah absolutely it's interesting
01:05:15
that
01:05:16
with no guidelines that they can then
01:05:18
yeah did that feel like a like a like a
01:05:21
witch I'm guessing it did feel like a
01:05:23
Witch Hunt at the time but in hindsight
01:05:25
with some of it deserved or oh no it was
01:05:27
a time I couldn't really understand it
01:05:28
yeah but they needed to start from a
01:05:31
place of somewhere right and it made
01:05:33
sense that they'd start with someone
01:05:34
that's doing the biggest advertising
01:05:37
yeah I'm working with the most companies
01:05:39
every year so it was just a for them a
01:05:41
good case study right and so now it's
01:05:42
just very I've got good communication
01:05:44
with the ASA and they'll send me a
01:05:46
message and you know if they deem
01:05:47
something as
01:05:49
an advertisement that you know they'll
01:05:50
say is this a paid thing and I'll say no
01:05:52
we paid for that and you know we've got
01:05:53
good loads of communication now really
01:05:55
you've got a direct line of that's the
01:05:57
um advertising standards Authority are
01:05:58
you in direct contact with them oh
01:05:59
they've message me after because they I
01:06:01
would get reported I'd say every couple
01:06:03
of days so they just need to clear up if
01:06:05
something is an advertisement or not or
01:06:07
you know whatever it might be yeah the
01:06:09
other day it was for holding a um a
01:06:11
mocktail that someone had reported me
01:06:13
for drinking while pregnant
01:06:15
promoting and drinking while pregnant so
01:06:17
they just needed to clarify that I was
01:06:19
holding a mocktail so does that um I
01:06:21
suppose it can't can't bother you but
01:06:23
there's obviously like a a percentage of
01:06:25
people that are like hate watching you
01:06:27
like trying to catch you out trying to
01:06:29
trip you out oh always but I I quite
01:06:31
like because what that does for me is
01:06:33
hold me to a very high standard I really
01:06:35
every single thing I post I really have
01:06:37
to think about what the person that
01:06:39
dislikes me the most would think or view
01:06:41
this and whether it could be taken in
01:06:44
any sort of negative way in terms of
01:06:46
like an advertisement that wasn't or me
01:06:47
not declaring or you know so it doesn't
01:06:49
make me very accountable very
01:06:51
accountable
01:06:57
yeah it's become sick in nature after a
01:06:59
while yeah it is um now I put on
01:07:01
Instagram that you were coming over and
01:07:02
I asked if there's any any questions
01:07:03
some so there was some of the comments
01:07:05
were quite mean but there's some like um
01:07:07
oh [ __ ] why are you wasting your time
01:07:09
with her sorry but she's a dick the only
01:07:12
words you might get out of her uh
01:07:13
hashtag gifted hashtag ad
01:07:18
is that a genuine laugh like you can
01:07:20
just oh yeah no idea with this daily
01:07:22
though like I think it would be quite
01:07:24
different if this was the first time
01:07:25
hearing that but I've dealt with it for
01:07:27
five years you know and that's someone's
01:07:29
perspective and that's totally fine
01:07:30
they're entitled to that view they may
01:07:32
not like influences or influence as a
01:07:34
whole or the whole industry you know
01:07:36
or maybe it's just me who knows I don't
01:07:38
know it seems I don't know it seems it
01:07:40
seems unfair to me it's like um there's
01:07:43
this thing where politicians are
01:07:44
considered to be fear game it's like oh
01:07:45
you can say what you want about a
01:07:46
politician it doesn't matter they're
01:07:47
politicians but it's like I've um I've
01:07:49
always been like a a right-wing sort of
01:07:51
guy but I'm never going to like
01:07:52
criticize a you know a left-wing
01:07:54
politician or have a go at them like
01:07:56
yeah but that's just who you are right
01:07:58
like and how you love your life
01:08:00
um here's a question
01:08:01
um how does Simone feel about setting
01:08:03
unrealistic expectations for postpartum
01:08:06
woman and contributing to woman's
01:08:07
postpartum depression
01:08:09
is I don't really understand what that
01:08:11
means is that because you make parenting
01:08:12
look like I think that's like what we
01:08:14
talked about before
01:08:15
um and I think again everything everyone
01:08:18
has their own view on a situation
01:08:20
because of what they're dealing with and
01:08:22
I frequently talk about our possession
01:08:25
of privilege and share that and you know
01:08:28
I try my hardest to show our journey
01:08:30
openly and honestly but what I'll never
01:08:32
do is tailor my version of something to
01:08:35
try and Pander to someone else's
01:08:38
blends of a situation because that
01:08:40
wouldn't be authentically me I love
01:08:43
Parenthood I love being a mother and
01:08:45
that's okay but I can openly say I hate
01:08:48
running and you could you know what I
01:08:49
mean you couldn't get me to run a
01:08:51
marathon if you tried and that's okay
01:08:53
like that's okay to not enjoy something
01:08:55
and it's okay to find something
01:08:56
incredibly tough but it's also okay to
01:08:58
find a situation
01:09:01
enjoyable as well and I'm never going to
01:09:03
feel sorry for enjoying motherhood oh no
01:09:05
no no should you either you know I feel
01:09:07
like you're um you are very honest so
01:09:09
you're pregnant again you've got another
01:09:10
son that seeking son on the way maybe
01:09:12
this one will be completely different
01:09:13
maybe this one's gonna be a little
01:09:15
tiring but we joke about this all the
01:09:17
time we're like we've had this like
01:09:19
three into Parenthood like he is happy
01:09:22
again 10 he barely cries he eats
01:09:25
everything put on his plate we're gonna
01:09:27
have a second child that's just gonna go
01:09:42
I'll talk about that if that happens
01:09:44
yeah but I can't pretend like this this
01:09:48
and it's also it's been one I've I've
01:09:50
got to
01:09:51
just have all this time in this world
01:09:53
with this one little human now I'm gonna
01:09:55
have to split my time it's going to be a
01:09:56
very different experience you know
01:09:59
someone else on Instagram said how does
01:10:00
she feel how does she feel when she does
01:10:03
work for a brand and then the brand
01:10:05
apologizes to its followers for using
01:10:07
her as she doesn't actually use the
01:10:09
Brand's morals and ethics it happened in
01:10:11
the last week with fear and good I just
01:10:13
wonder if she cares about that sort of
01:10:15
thing or if it's just work to her anyway
01:10:16
this will be a great chat go Dom oh
01:10:19
thank you I think it's in that position
01:10:22
there's two you've got this group of
01:10:25
people that very much dislike you and
01:10:27
they are working their hardest to stop
01:10:29
relationships and to try and change
01:10:31
relationships with Brands and like
01:10:33
you're saying to tarnish your reputation
01:10:34
so you're saying as soon as you put a
01:10:36
post up with a brand and they will reach
01:10:38
out to that brand and say
01:10:42
do you know who they are do the brands
01:10:44
ever send you the person's name and oh
01:10:45
often yeah is it a core group of people
01:10:48
yeah yeah there's a core group
01:10:51
and you know her that because they'll
01:10:52
just slip and they'll leave their names
01:10:53
and emails and stuff and friends will
01:10:55
send it through but like you know these
01:10:56
people are their life is dedicated to
01:10:59
trying to stop your career and and that
01:11:02
is just part of what I deal with on a
01:11:03
daily basis so I I guess initially it
01:11:06
was it was a tough thing to navigate and
01:11:09
it felt a very strange thing to navigate
01:11:10
but now I have very open Communications
01:11:12
with my Brands they they know pre that
01:11:15
this is going to happen it's they've
01:11:17
already you know they're aware of the
01:11:18
situation it's not something that's
01:11:20
hidden from them they're not
01:11:21
20 people aren't going to message them
01:11:23
afterwards it's going to be a shock it's
01:11:25
this is this is the reality of working
01:11:27
with me and you know yay or nay
01:11:30
and they'll you know yeah yeah well it
01:11:32
doesn't seem to be doing you doing any
01:11:34
harm it's still you look at your look at
01:11:36
those little dashes on your Instagram
01:11:37
story there's a lot of Brands yeah
01:11:40
different brands that won't be great
01:11:41
alignments and that you know like don't
01:11:43
don't necessarily work and don't fit
01:11:45
with with your page but that's just
01:11:47
natural and that has evolved over the
01:11:48
years anyway you know yeah
01:11:51
some of these are so Random I'm sorry
01:11:53
and I I don't know I guess I I don't I
01:11:56
don't follow you as until there's some
01:11:57
other people so I don't know about a lot
01:11:59
of stuff but um why does she own her own
01:12:01
active wear that she hardly wears and
01:12:03
also promotes five other active weird
01:12:05
Brands imagine Nike promoting Adidas
01:12:07
five laughing crying emojis so my stance
01:12:10
on this is that there is not one
01:12:12
activewear brand is going to suit one
01:12:14
person for the rest of their life uh
01:12:16
every single body every single shape
01:12:18
every single person is so different and
01:12:20
I like to show a variety of activewear
01:12:22
Brands to my audience because they're
01:12:24
not all the same body shape they're not
01:12:25
all the same size they don't all like
01:12:27
crazy patterns some of them like planes
01:12:29
some of them like yoga feel I like to
01:12:31
show a variety it's you know I would
01:12:34
never wear one brand of clothing I never
01:12:35
wear one brain of act where I'm wearing
01:12:37
aim and tights right now and I own a
01:12:38
brand called Embrace we're all creating
01:12:40
their very different things I think
01:12:42
there's enough room in the market for
01:12:43
everyone to succeed and for everyone to
01:12:45
thrive and that's why I share different
01:12:46
brands because I just think there's
01:12:48
enough space for everyone to
01:12:50
to smash it so I'll find that a good
01:12:52
answer that seems perfectly reasonable
01:12:54
but the business in the messages place
01:12:55
and they're going oh yeah
01:12:57
probably got paid to say that yeah
01:13:01
um I'd love to not sponsored I'd love to
01:13:04
yeah she got that cleared with her
01:13:05
friends at the advertising standards
01:13:07
yeah I'd love to hear
01:13:10
um hear something on on her views about
01:13:12
toxic positivity she has an absolutely
01:13:14
beautiful son he always sleeps he's
01:13:16
never sick eats everything the list goes
01:13:18
on Simone uh uh also doesn't tell people
01:13:22
that he's been in daycare for about a
01:13:24
year so it really gives an illusion of
01:13:25
being able to juggle at all I really
01:13:26
feel like it has such a negative impact
01:13:28
on people who are struggling being real
01:13:30
is okay
01:13:31
I feel like you touched upon that before
01:13:32
you said he goes to daycare yeah I I
01:13:35
feel like this is something we've been
01:13:36
very open with that I've he hasn't
01:13:38
really got that second this first year
01:13:40
when he has he's had a tummy bag I've
01:13:42
shared it like I I definitely share the
01:13:46
the sticky parts and I talk about it but
01:13:47
I'm also because I'm a naturally
01:13:50
positive person the positivity outweighs
01:13:53
the negative I don't dwell on shitty
01:13:55
things I don't sit there and my
01:13:56
Channel's not negative I'm not gonna
01:13:58
talk about all the crappy things that
01:14:00
happen in a day because that's not where
01:14:02
my focus is and that's not where I want
01:14:04
my focus to be for me toxic positivity I
01:14:08
can't even say and when you don't
01:14:10
acknowledge any negativity I share a lot
01:14:12
of low points in my life I talk I'm
01:14:15
vulnerable with my grandparents in their
01:14:16
health right now and what we're going
01:14:18
through and you know different
01:14:19
situations and I'm open to that and then
01:14:22
I get slaughtered for she's sharing that
01:14:24
for clout or yeah to try and sympathy
01:14:28
you know so you can't win whatever you
01:14:31
do but I'm a very very naturally
01:14:33
positive person I always have been and
01:14:35
I'm again like I'm saying not going to
01:14:37
apologize for that some people glass
01:14:39
half full glass half empty it's just you
01:14:42
know it's not me I like to focus on the
01:14:44
gosh and I feel like because of that it
01:14:46
sort of attracts more positivity of my
01:14:47
life and I'm not you know yeah and I
01:14:50
suppose what you do for a lot of people
01:14:51
is escapism like the amount of dashes
01:14:53
you have on your story if that was on
01:14:54
some Debbie Downer who would want to sit
01:14:56
through that yeah and our Pages there
01:14:58
that are like there are four pages
01:15:00
dedicated towards and I'll share this if
01:15:02
someone ever messaged me this towards
01:15:04
the tough points of motherhood there are
01:15:06
Pages where they write poems about you
01:15:08
know the trenches of motherhood and
01:15:09
where if that's what you need to feel
01:15:12
less alone in your motherhood Journey
01:15:13
that's what you can find but for me I
01:15:16
like to watch pages that inspire me that
01:15:19
motivate me that make me feel really
01:15:21
happy in a day and that's what I try and
01:15:23
make my content is just uplifting I want
01:15:25
someone to watch my stories and have a
01:15:27
laugh and have a you know a little
01:15:29
giggle and yeah I'll share some [ __ ]
01:15:30
stuff and I'll cry online very openly
01:15:32
I'm not someone to hide my emotions but
01:15:34
the majority of what I want people to
01:15:36
see is just yeah it's a little bit of
01:15:38
like that what had their coffee in the
01:15:40
morning yeah and they have a giggle oh
01:15:42
yeah their lunch break at work yeah you
01:15:44
know yeah there was um I know exactly
01:15:48
are you gonna say oh there's a story I
01:15:51
read online
01:15:52
um this is great so a couple of weeks
01:15:54
ago I don't know where it was do you
01:15:56
know where it was printed first
01:15:57
it's something called I only know
01:16:00
because I got it sent through so many
01:16:02
times I thought it was spam and I didn't
01:16:03
want to click on it because I thought
01:16:04
they're going to hack my Instagram
01:16:06
account if I click on the slang but
01:16:07
something called the divorce Diaries on
01:16:09
I think I read it on stuff but yeah
01:16:11
where it was originally right they
01:16:13
brought it up but I think it was
01:16:14
something like
01:16:16
yeah so so a lady found out her husband
01:16:19
was um being unfaithful by watching one
01:16:22
of your Instagram stories so what was
01:16:24
that you're you're in a park somewhere
01:16:26
well I I don't know the situation right
01:16:28
I only read what I read through her
01:16:30
story but I'm also what I try and do on
01:16:33
my Instagram series is not show the
01:16:34
public either in the background
01:16:36
obviously so they might be blurred in
01:16:38
the background or like in the but I'm
01:16:40
never gonna put a camera up to someone
01:16:42
else's face that's hasn't agreed to be
01:16:44
in videos or stories different at a PR
01:16:46
event where you're all there for a
01:16:48
purpose but in your day-to-day when
01:16:49
we're out at a park everyone's basically
01:16:51
you cannot recognize right they're so
01:16:53
far in the background but someone did
01:16:55
someone recognized their husbands and
01:16:57
with a lady from his work and the reason
01:16:59
she recognized her husband is not
01:17:01
because she recognized her husband is
01:17:02
because she recognized the dress of the
01:17:04
co-worker because they'd had a
01:17:06
conversation about this dress that came
01:17:07
from Peru so she goes I know exactly who
01:17:09
that is and then she recognized her
01:17:11
husband and what were they doing in the
01:17:12
background like it was a path in the
01:17:14
middle oh
01:17:20
yeah wow what a yarn
01:17:23
no if I believe it
01:17:27
yeah someone's ridden it um the the I I
01:17:30
mean I I I put up the you coming in and
01:17:32
there were so many questions for you and
01:17:34
um most of them were about one thing now
01:17:36
before we sat down you said there's just
01:17:38
one thing that you don't want to talk
01:17:39
about
01:17:40
um and you've got reasons for that but
01:17:41
that's what most of the questions were
01:17:43
about yeah is there is there anything we
01:17:45
can say about that that matter or not
01:17:47
touched on that a bit earlier but at the
01:17:49
moment with the court case right now
01:17:51
hopefully in April once it's all done
01:17:55
but it keeps getting pushed out so who
01:17:56
knows our fingers crossed you know it'd
01:17:59
be something I'd love to chat about yeah
01:18:00
I fully understand that and I fully
01:18:02
respect that and I feel like anyone
01:18:03
that's listening to this
01:18:05
that noise about it will will know what
01:18:07
it's about and other people won't but
01:18:09
like is there anything you can say like
01:18:11
that not not everything is what it seems
01:18:13
or
01:18:14
were mistakes made that you look back
01:18:16
and you you know you realize and you'd
01:18:18
never do again or that's one of those
01:18:20
things where you've been painting it a
01:18:23
lot and people have chose that narrative
01:18:24
because it suits their narrative and
01:18:27
that's it you know it's just and you've
01:18:29
got no control over how people view or
01:18:31
perceive you in that situation and I
01:18:33
stop trying to care or try it's like we
01:18:36
were talking before character versus
01:18:37
reputation totally and it's like that's
01:18:39
people have chosen and to view you in
01:18:41
that way because that's what suits their
01:18:43
narrative right and it's how they want
01:18:44
to view you and that's I can't change
01:18:46
that
01:18:47
it's so difficult though when there's
01:18:48
nothing you can do to defend yourself
01:18:52
I don't know I've just like I said you
01:18:54
have to focus back on you and your life
01:18:56
and the life you're living day to day
01:18:59
because if I worried about the opinions
01:19:00
of everyone else well if we all did if
01:19:02
we worried about the opinions of other
01:19:04
people you'd be miserable in your
01:19:06
day-to-day constantly because you're
01:19:07
going to get judgment from everywhere
01:19:09
and everything you do in life yeah okay
01:19:12
so that that ends because they're going
01:19:14
going to court I know you can't talk
01:19:16
about the specifics of it but what's is
01:19:17
that going to draw like a Line in the
01:19:19
Sand yeah fingers crossed yeah yeah
01:19:20
it'll be awesome because it's going
01:19:23
through yeah a big case with someone
01:19:25
yeah oh fantastic because there is that
01:19:28
saying my mum used to say the truth
01:19:29
always comes out but it feels like in
01:19:30
life sometimes the truth doesn't always
01:19:32
come out which can be painfully
01:19:33
difficult yeah so people will still and
01:19:36
I can guarantee this no matter what the
01:19:38
outcome of this even if it was in my
01:19:41
favor people will still have the same
01:19:43
narrative as before because that's what
01:19:44
they choose to believe you know so it
01:19:46
won't change it for some people but I
01:19:49
will know my truth why no major yeah you
01:19:51
know and you're okay with it like we've
01:19:53
as we talked about before everyone's
01:19:54
made mistakes but this is not one of
01:19:56
your mistakes totally yeah yeah
01:19:58
oh it's been great having you here today
01:20:00
oh it's been so fun yeah has it been fun
01:20:02
yeah yeah you're right you are just
01:20:04
relentlessly positive and um I feel like
01:20:07
you you wouldn't have changed I feel
01:20:08
like even where do you think you'd be
01:20:10
now like say you didn't didn't make that
01:20:12
decision to get that twenty thousand
01:20:14
dollars and get that best gastric bypass
01:20:16
thing do you think you'd be dead now
01:20:17
really very unhealthy yeah unable to
01:20:21
leave the house yep that's not a huge
01:20:25
Precinct health issues definitely
01:20:28
still happy that we had to be happier at
01:20:30
that point I think I you know I was
01:20:32
getting to the point where my day-to-day
01:20:34
was starting and I think why I felt such
01:20:36
a drive to change is my day-to-day was
01:20:38
suffering you know things as simple as
01:20:40
getting in and out of cars and like
01:20:42
friends will go to the beach I'd have to
01:20:44
say no to go into the beach because I've
01:20:45
hit a tiny two minute walk to the beach
01:20:48
or you know anything like that so I was
01:20:49
starting to say no to a lot of things
01:20:52
which definitely shuts off your
01:20:53
happiness in life like there's no way
01:20:54
you can be locked at home in your own
01:20:57
bedroom doing nothing feeling great yeah
01:20:59
life in the world yeah you know whether
01:21:02
anyone that's at that point it's like um
01:21:04
what we all experienced with level 4
01:21:05
lockdown that becomes life for a lot of
01:21:07
people I suppose they just isolate from
01:21:09
society yeah oh totally yeah you would
01:21:12
because everything becomes a challenge
01:21:13
yeah yeah okay so baby two on the way um
01:21:16
then what is that is that it no more
01:21:18
babies no more babies we're done with
01:21:20
two two is our little Our Little Dream
01:21:22
number and yeah we're quite happy in
01:21:24
that yeah some people will be saying
01:21:26
well if she could be guaranteed to have
01:21:27
her daughter's probably would so she
01:21:29
could get some new advertisers I have
01:21:30
had that
01:21:32
painful honestly but let's do we keep
01:21:35
trying for a girl
01:21:37
our Dream oh she definitely wants want
01:21:40
the
01:21:40
um or there'll be a third one on the way
01:21:42
at some point just to you know that'll
01:21:44
be good promotion you do seem quite good
01:21:48
at laughing It Off
01:21:49
yeah I'm going to take this compliment
01:21:51
yeah I always say whatever I say it's
01:21:54
either a good thing or a bad thing
01:21:55
because I either got so immune to it
01:21:57
that it's just like I just don't feel it
01:21:59
anymore or it's a good thing because
01:22:01
otherwise I wouldn't do it I just said
01:22:03
just so we're clear it very much is a
01:22:05
compliment it's I think it's the highest
01:22:06
compliment but it's also alarming that
01:22:07
you know it has to get to that point
01:22:09
where you you tolerate that much sort of
01:22:11
crap or abuse and you have to get to the
01:22:14
point where you laugh it off because
01:22:15
that's the only option yeah what is the
01:22:17
only option right and I either
01:22:18
give up what I do and call it in which
01:22:22
you know it's there'll be a point where
01:22:23
I do just because of just life and you
01:22:26
don't want to keep going on but right
01:22:28
now it's a choice I'm I'm making this
01:22:30
choice and yeah because of that sort of
01:22:32
brush it off yeah hello Simone Anderson
01:22:35
thank you very much for your time today
01:22:36
it's been bloody great oh thank you I
01:22:38
really really appreciate it we've got to
01:22:40
get you out for a run at some point
01:22:41
honestly that there's no way
01:22:53
um okay we'll take a rain check on this
01:22:55
and um when the baby's how old what are
01:22:58
we going six months eight months a year
01:22:59
oh give me a year oh you're buying
01:23:01
yourself she's like you're in a driveway
01:23:03
I think Dom's not gonna ruin
01:23:10
I'll come and I'll give it a go and
01:23:12
we'll see but yeah at least
01:23:15
never gonna happen all right I um love
01:23:17
you thank you very much for your time
01:23:18
today thank you for having me
01:23:20
[Music]
