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Dana, we've got a republished episode of one of our favorites, Nikki Glazer. Nikki Glazer.
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Nikki Glazer. She's fun. She's fun. This was a fun one.
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Super fun. Mhm. She, you know, the good thing about Nikki, a lot of these comedians that I
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see or hang out with, she is a good laugher. You know, comedians that don't give it up at all. It's kind of tough to
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have goofy conversations. She laughs a lot. She uh is always writing, which I like.
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She always wants to keep that act moving. It's hard worker, dedicated. Yeah, she's a grinder. My god, her road
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gigs. I look at her Instagram, it's like microscopic. I can't even read all the cities she's
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going to. And that takes it takes its toll. It's a tough job. She's always upbeat on the show. We play
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Vegas together. We're actually And it was fun. You guys are friends. I I I was invited to a dinner
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with her a couple That's right. during co Yeah. And what this she's uh
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you know her act is very adult but she she's actually sort of oldfashioned but incredibly sweet and
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doesn't have any heirs about her and like in this episode you're going to listen to she was sort of kind of on a
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roll but she said this will be the hottest I'll ever be. It was after the Tom Brady uh roast I believe if I have
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this correct. Uh is that right? I think so. And I think it was before Golden Globes I think.
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Yes. It was before Golden Globes after that. And she blew up again. So she was kind of self aacingly saying
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I've just peaked. I had a run, you know, and so but she's still killing it. She's selling out. She's doing great.
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Uh like I said, we're at the Venetian in Vegas this weekend. Um so a lot of fun with her actual friend.
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actually someone I text with and absolutely she's incredibly easy and fun to talk to.
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Here she is. What's the state tax? Are you taxed in
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your native state? I would never know that. I live I live in Missouri and I rent an apartment and
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I don't own a home. I don't own a car. I don't have kids. Um but I do spend a lot
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of money to see Taylor Swift and stuff like that and I eat out for every meal. You don't have a car,
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so you just Uber everywhere. I I have my I bought my mom a car and then I took her car and so I'm driving
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my mom's car. I paid for it. That's a great present. Just keep taking
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it back. How are your parents? No, my mom's old car. Oh, how are handling
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having a famous daughter who's really successful? How are they How does that
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They're famous. Dana, she's they're on her Instagram. Well, my my parents there were five kids and so tons of pictures
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on the refrigerator and then as I got more and more successful eventually it was just all me and I said
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mom what are you doing? So it was did she have ambitions or did your mom or
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dad to be in in theater arts? Um my dad is a musician and plays around
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St. Louis in um grocery stores and different like uh bars. Don't don't lowball him like that. I
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know he feels he hates when I start with grocery stores, but he mainly is grocery,
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but he's really he's a great musician. He just he just wanted a family and uh safety. So, he chose like a career in um
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cable, which was safe for many years until he got out right after he got out
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and then Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, it was so he took the safe route and then I he really believed in
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me and always supported me. I knew when I first like started it was going to take I I said eight years before I
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wouldn't depend on them to like help me out a little bit here and there and it was like eight years on the day where I didn't need them anymore where I
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got that first check that kind of made it so well I mean
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Warren but in your own mind I can talk for David or me it's like it didn't seem like a a risk uh I I was like well I'm
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just going to try this I mean were you one like oh I maybe I should have a plan B and be junior high school.
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No, my plan B was like kill myself someday. I mean, honestly, like that was kind of like I was like, I guess I'll
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just I don't know what I'll do if I don't find an in some way because I tried all the other ends. I tried acting. I had tried singing and um and
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no one cared to hear any more of that. And I I mean I wanted to go to theater school and be like an actress and then I
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couldn't even get booked. Like in my high school play, I was always like, you know, in the diary of Anne Frank, I was Jewish towns person B. And that was my
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senior year of like this is going to be my role. And so I was getting all the feedback that I did not
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Frank. That's not person B. I That's her plan B was just a pill plan B. That
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was that's the only plan B we've heard. I had no but did you guys have a plan B?
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Like was there did did you even I think that's part of why I was successful is that I didn't even there was just no
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chance that it wasn't going to happen. Maybe I let that thought in for 20 minutes of my whole time struggling.
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Maybe I just it never even occurred. I feel like I I hear about like Jim Carrey and and and manifesting stuff and I
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don't I think I unintentionally manifested this career because I never let in a thought that it wouldn't happen.
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Well, I think that's good. I mean, for me it was like I think after a few years, I don't know the eras of comedy booming, but at some point I was
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averaging 5 to 600 a month, a $50 gig, $25 birthday party.
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So then I was like, in those days, too bad for the younger generation, I could that was my job. So now this is my job.
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I was a before this and a damn good one. Yeah. But I love waiting tables, too.
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It's my job. So then then I just went wherever. But I just thought if this is what I do to make money on planet Earth,
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this would be a good way to go. Yeah. Even if it stayed at that level, you mean? You mean? Yeah. What a waiter. I always had a
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waiter's wage and now it' be like 2,000 a month, 2500 a month probably. Yeah. Yeah. I did the same thing.
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Yeah. My overhead like you, Nikki, when you start any everyone when they start is a minimal overhead. So I quit too
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early. I was in Arizona State. I was working at a clothing store. And I was
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also quit and I quit because I was making 80 a week. I was making four gigs that are
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$20 a pop. And I was like, I feel like I got this because I I wasn't but I and then I got out of school. My mom was
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like, god damn. I'm like, listen, I wanted to be a radio DJ because that was the only other thing you could sleep in
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and then maybe do the afternoon shift. And it didn't seem that hard. But I thought I can't have everything was too
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tough. School started to get hard. I got distracted by standup. So if you what were you studying to be lofty goals?
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Were you in school to be something? It was not. It was a little early on because I was still like in anthropology
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and things. It didn't matter. But it was to ultimately be in advertising cuz my dad was and my
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brother Andy was. Okay, that makes sense. And advertising is the the thing that you go, okay, if I
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that was always my fall back, too. I was like because it's creative, but apparently it's even more soulless than
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what we like. It's apparently it's you're so creative all day and it's sometimes fun, but it's like you're ultimately just trying to manipulate
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people with your art and that's got to be kind of depressing, which we is what we are doing a lot of times as well.
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Like so we've asked people this before, but like okay, your first set. Yeah.
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Yeah. And and and where was it in the the day of the first set that you know you're
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It was good, right? Because none of us are doing it. It's always good. again. Do you know how many comedians that would be like just
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legends right now that just had a rough first set and couldn't couldn't even imagine how good it feels to have a good
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set? Because that is what keeps you coming back is that memory of the the good one. No amount of bad ones make you forget it and chase it. But um yeah, of
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course it was good. Um it was at uh University of Colorado was my freshman year and I was like really uh not doing
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well mentally. I was I had an eating disorder. I was like on death's door literally. I thought I was about to die.
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Um, and I was praying to die because it's just a miserable life. You You don't eat. You can't eat because that's
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part of the disease. You're hungry all the time. You're cold. No one wants to be friends with you because they think you're like on a diet trying to look hot
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even though like that's the last thing you're trying to do. You're just like stuck. It's like it's the [ __ ] worst. It's having a a terminal illness and
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everyone blaming you for it and thinking that you chose it because you want to be hot. It's like it sucks.
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Quit choosing to be hot. Yeah. Well, it because it starts that way, right? like you get you do a diet and it kind of works. You get some
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attention and then I went as I do [ __ ] I just couldn't I went bananas and didn't even eat one of those a week
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and and just uh like it it and so I was really good at it but then it got really
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bad. I was hospitalized and stuff. It was I went off to school to like get away from my parents who were like monitoring what I was up to with not
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eating and and it was already my plan to go out of state for school, but then I caught this eating disorder between
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deciding to go out of state and leaving for it. And um I was hospitalized during the summer at home.
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It's it's a it's rough, but I tricked them all. Got out was like I'll eat enough and I'll go to school. I'll be
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responsible. All the doctors are telling my parents she's going to die if she goes there. Like there's no question. And I was like, "Yes." Like, "Let me.
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This is hell. I don't even know how to get out of this. I don't want to get out of it. Like, it's just it's fucked." But then, um, because I looked so scary,
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this is my theory, because I looked so scary and no one wanted to be my friend,
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um, I just became like loud and like funny and like told stories and and volunteers
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around the dorm or at the sorority. I was like rushing a sorority. Um, I looked like a skeleton. Like, it was
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crazy. But I just was so funny that people started forgetting the way I looked and wanting to be friends with me or I just amped up.
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Yeah. And I never done that before. I never needed to do that before. I kind of just always wanted to be not noticed. But at this point, I was so noticeable
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by the way I looked. I couldn't not get ahead of it. And then that was when I started hearing like you should be a
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comedian. And I was like, huh? Like is that what what I don't I knew about standup but I didn't pay attention. It
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wasn't I liked SNL. I liked Seinfeld. I liked Friends. I liked Conan. That was like the pillars of my obs. comedy
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obsession, but I didn't get into standup. And then I um I like Googled it in my dorm room and was like,
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"Is it true you were inspired by John Benet and her early success?"
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I didn't put up the joke in my special which is coming out May 11th. May 11th, what's the name of it?
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Um HBO, it's called Someday You'll Die and um it's Saturday, May 11th. So it's
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already out now by I think the time this is airing, but um so just go check it out. HBO, Someday You'll Die. And I but
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I cut it from the special but cuz I had too many jokes about like wanting pretty girls to die and so I had to I had to
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lose one of them. So it was you know the the joke is a true story. I've always been like insecure, always wanting to be
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the center of attention, not knowing how to like get it. Um I feel like that's faded as I get older and realize it's
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not that fun. Um but initially I was always like who doesn't want to be famous? Like do you guys relate to that?
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Like your friends in high school or middle school? But mine were like, "Not really. We don't really care about being
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famous." And I'm like, "What is that everything?" I think now I mean a younger generation
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because everyone is famous in their own way with Instagram, all that. But I I said this to Jerry Sefel. I check with
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my wife once a year. I go, "Honey, did I ever say I wanted to be rich and famous
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ever?" Really? Early. And she said, "No, because I was just trying to win the club." you know,
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I was trying to get to the middle and then get to the headline. I was just thinking like that. It was too abstract
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that I would be famous, too crazy that I could be on TV. And it hurt me in a lot of ways throughout my career. I never
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was able to really take it in, you know? So, Dana, what motivated you was just being like becoming a headliner. Like
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that was the f like I just want to be able to make a living, a good living, a decent living doing standup and making
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people laugh. Yeah. And I came from a track and field uh cross country background. So I was
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also really really competitive but not in a nasty way. But when Rob Williams
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was there initially and then he left to do Mor and Mindy when he came back which I said many times I don't know I he
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would levitate the room as I call it. It looked like he wasn't trying. It was explosive. I just thought
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well there's a standard. Yeah. So I kept saying I've got to get more intense and I was I was horrible. I
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would have one, you know, joke after like a five minute setup for a, you know, it's like, yeah, I see a short
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setup and then a lot of, you know, it took me a long time. But man, did you you figured it out? I
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mean, so quickly. You're you got to level. Yeah. I mean, but relative like like you
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had it from being like bombing wildly on stage to figuring out how to elicit the kind of laughs Robin Williams gets in a
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you figured it out. And um but that's so interesting to me to cuz there there is
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a difference like I think the for me being famous is just like being loved you know like it sounds vapid but it's
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like it at its core it's just like I just want love and acceptance. I want to be able to survive in the world because
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people like me already you know it's just a survival instinct. So it's as I I hate I want to take some vapidity away
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from it because it feels like I just want everyone to like is that even a word? I just want everyone to,
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you know, um I like that you're already sad, you're already walking into a room and we have
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the benefit where people know you and have mostly a positive opinion or at least you're not scary. At least when
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you walk up to people or you say, "Oh, your kids are cute. They don't think you're a psychopath." They're like, "Oh, this guy." Or any situation, you can say
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hi to people or you can and they kind of are off guard already. They're not like, "Hey, [ __ ] you. Don't
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walk up to me. Don't say hi to me." Doesn't that make sense in an evolutionary standpoint of like wanting
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the whole tribe to know who you are and care about keeping you around because and and having some stake in your
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existence? I mean, it's it it comes from uh it makes sense where it comes from. But Dana, I think I also have that in me
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too, that competitive nature that I didn't I I didn't know because I think I'm the same way of like I'm not like
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throwing a, you know, remote control if I lose a a video game kind of angry competitive, but I am I am viciously
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competitive. And you realize it when you do things like the roast, which is like I was just thinking about this. This is like the day after 2 days after the
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roast and like immediately you walk off stage and everyone's like this was the best, this was the second best, this was
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the like it is a ranking thing and I'm like oh my god that's why I like roast is because I want to I finally found a
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way in comedy to like compete and in a way that I feel comfortable competing like I can't compete maybe in other ways
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in comedy. Um but and I don't look at like going up at this comedy store against people as a competition but this is like you have five minutes everyone's
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doing the same thing. It's the same task and who's the best and yeah, it brings out that nature.
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The real thing is you have five minutes. Everyone's doing 23. It's so true. Oh my god.
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I texted you during the roast. I go, "Is everyone going [ __ ] long or what's going on here?" Well, it was interesting. They told us
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like, you know, football players are getting three minutes, Bellich's getting two, you know, and then you're getting
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you're getting six, you're getting Andrew's getting six, Jeff's getting six. Um and uh and everyone went over
00:15:28
because the laughs you don't you don't account for the laughs at the forum. But I will say they were like I thought they
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were going to be a lot more strict about you can't do this uh you know you can't say this and but get this. I'm sitting
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so I have my set like I'm down to the wire, right? I've been working for a month on perfecting every [ __ ] word,
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every transition. Everything makes sense. Finally get it down. Submit it. I'm And I mean like under the wire then
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rush to the red carpet. Out of the red carpet. I go, do I have time to go to prompter to see what this [ __ ] looks like? Even read through the prompter.
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I'm in the prompter room. All the comedians, all the people on the deis are in the room. So I'm like, can they get behind? Like
00:16:05
so I'm reading through Kevin's behind me. I'm like, Kevin Hart, will you not look at but he couldn't see over everyone's shoulders anyway, so it
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didn't [ __ ] matter. So I was like I was, can you raise the monitor? And so he um so I'm I'm reading through I like
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um and then and then rushed right on stage. I sit down. Kevin comes up to do his set first open
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and he does one of my jokes. Oh, the classic roast situation. Do you think he saw it on the prompter
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or just parallel? Oh my god, I'm That setup sounded like I thought he stole No, no, no. Yeah, no. Sorry about that.
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Parallel development. Yes, obviously. And um but I was just like, how did they not catch this? But
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the truth is like the writing team is getting jokes last minute. Kevin chose his jokes very last minute. They're entering them in. No one cross-cheed it.
00:16:51
So his joke is that Tom Brady got out of his divorce and then he's been [ __ ] around town so much his dick has CTE and
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mine was about masturbating to him to research for this and my my [ __ ] has CTE
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and but I but on mine I have like a tag that I'm like okay that kind of that makes it different. So I'll just blow
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past the fact that I do the same joke but I'm also like at first I'm just my face I can't even I'm on camera but I'm
00:17:14
like how do you get it off the prompter that I mean during the show you can't get it off the prompter right? It's a live
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show. There's no producer to call. We're on stage already. Stat. There's I don't have I'm like do I talk into my live and
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say do think maybe someone hears me. I don't have an in ear to hear if they hear me. Jeff come Jeff Ross who's the producer comes and sits down next to me.
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I go I have the same joke Kevin just did and I can't take it out of the prompter. The prompter guy is not going to build.
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I haven't worked with him enough to hey if I do this just go to the next one. I had it set. So then I'm looking at one
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of my friends who's in the front row and she knows my set backwards and forwards and I go and she's like dear in
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headlights look too and I go what do I do? and she's just like looking at the carpet because we're trying to think of
00:17:54
another joke that will fit coming out of Tom you were on my fantasy team last night and then transition after the CTE
00:18:01
like into something CTE without saying it like can you jump the line without the
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prompter freaking out and blowing but that's the thing I'm like I don't think I can cuz I'm like I don't even
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know and then I and it would ruin my flow entirely if I stopped and go hey can you and then I go okay maybe I'll
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just say the joke and go um that would have gotten better had it not been already set like address it, but then
00:18:23
that's like do I need to? I've never performed for even this big of a crowd before. It's at the forum. So, it's like I don't know the dynamics of the sound
00:18:30
and what people like. And so, but then I did the math on it. I was like, "Okay, there's enough time between me and that joke that they might
00:18:37
reset." Like, they'll subconsciously know that isn't as funny as it would have been without hearing it. But maybe
00:18:44
they they won't be able to place it. I think so. I mean, I just noticed it and I I went, "Oh, oh, well, head didn't
00:18:51
talk to the tail." That was just And there was going to be Yeah. No one's going to be like, "She stole that." Other people talking about how beautiful
00:18:58
Tom Brady is, how attractive he is, and stuff like that. Or is he gay? So, how
00:19:03
do you can you not have overlap? There's going to be bumps. Definitely. And I was surprised that there weren't more like when I submit
00:19:09
because after that happened, it was one of his first jokes. And so the rest of the time I'm watching his the teleprompter like where else like how
00:19:15
what am I going to do? Like it was just that moment of you know live TV which obviously you guys are used to where
00:19:20
it's like you're I got to make a decision and let's just see if it gets the right one.
00:19:25
But you you have the best line of which was I thought it was the most
00:19:31
clever. It was hard-hitting. It was but that it really made me laugh out loud and that was how does it feel? I won't
00:19:37
won't even say that when he he can kick your ass while he eats.
00:19:43
Eat. Yeah. Eat. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I'd say I talk about Tom Brady. Um now Jazelle, his ex-wife, is dating a
00:19:50
jiu-jitsu instructor. I was like, "That's got to hurt knowing your uh ex-wife's new boyfriend could beat your
00:19:55
ass while eating hers." I like you. I'm glad that you like that cuz I was like, "Oh, I even say that."
00:20:02
Poor Jazelle. It's so outrageous, but it was constructed really well. You said purge.
00:20:07
You didn't say ask twice. There was a reason it was palatable. Thank you. That really means a lot. Um
00:20:13
Well, I I I I'll just tell you point bl point blank. It doesn't matter that you're on the thing. I I thought you won
00:20:18
the night. You saw how Kevin Hart react. If if there is a competition, there is. He was a good reactor though.
00:20:24
He really did give it up to you. You know, me me not no money line and all that. I mean, he sincerely in that
00:20:31
moment was giving it up to you like that's how it's done. It doesn't get any better. So you must have felt good after
00:20:37
that. I mean amazing because you guys know like that we are all kind of in
00:20:43
competition sometimes and for another comedian like Kevin Hart who definitely has achieved that level of success by
00:20:48
making things about him and probably not making it about other people and shining the light on them. That's how you get there to use that time to break I mean
00:20:57
he he literally went up and was like quoting people's jokes just saying them again. He literally after after I got a standing ovation, which I didn't even
00:21:03
know about, he goes, "I want everyone in the in case you didn't see it at home, Nikki got a standing ovation to give me
00:21:08
that like he did I know why he was doing that because he wants to build me up. It wasn't so that people actually like it
00:21:15
was it was designed that way." And I thanked him afterwards and I said, "I know you did you didn't need to be as generous with, you know, the laughter
00:21:21
and and and saying things afterward as you did." He was he did it for everyone. And it was it was an example of what I
00:21:27
want to like be more like in this business. it more fun. It made him very likable, too. Yeah, it's it's the way Fallon, you
00:21:34
know, when you go on his show, when you do stand up on his show, he comes which is terrifying. And it kind You kind of
00:21:41
do you don't go up cold, but you're coming back from a commercial break. It's obviously it's like all of a sudden this person just standing there who's no
00:21:46
one's seen. It's like a kind of going up cold a little bit for an audience, but he comes out before, warms them up,
00:21:51
tells them, "I love this girl so like even if he doesn't and then he is like cackling at his desk and and just his
00:21:58
silhouette moving he probably isn't even making any sound but he's giving us that and the audience is watching him to
00:22:04
decide how to feel about me subconsciously it's the way that um I feel about YouTube comments which I
00:22:10
hate so much I hate that everyone gets to just comment on things all the time and David I always when I talk about
00:22:16
this I always say how you um you told me that the Hollywood what minute what was
00:22:22
show business Hollywood Minute on SNL was the only time like like celebrities
00:22:28
got roasted or like kind of got made fun of or ridiculed directly like that. Yeah. It was all
00:22:33
People magazine and all everything was like fawning fawning fawning. Yeah. But that was the only place for it
00:22:39
in the '90s. Like and look at it now. We that that seems insane that that would be the like
00:22:44
it's it didn't exist every mob. Yeah. And so YouTube comments are constantly there to
00:22:51
tell you how to feel about a video. Like even I'm a pretty savvy consumer and I feel like you know I want to watch
00:22:56
content and think really make my own decision about how I feel about this and not be influenced but then a little YouTube comment pops up and if it's like
00:23:04
you know if it's one of if it's fly on the wall or whatever commenting like one of the greatest things I've ever seen
00:23:09
and I see a little check mark next to your name even if I don't know what it is I'm like oh someone with a check mark thinks this the best thing I like I like
00:23:16
this more no matter what I just do. Even me who knows that it's trying to get me to like it. So that's what uh I think
00:23:23
it's really detrimental when it's negative, but when Kevin kind of co-signed it really I think that's why
00:23:30
um there's been this fervor afterwards that I've never felt in my career before of people being like you had a standing
00:23:36
ovation. You were the best one. I'm like thank you Kevin Hart. I mean I I did well but that really that boost helps so
00:23:43
much. [Music]
00:23:48
It's hard to have no glitches. It's hard to go through a set. It's hard to go later. I when they introduced you, I
00:23:54
said, "Fuck yeah, she's got to go soon." Because Andrew Schultz, who's great, and by the time they got to him, I forgot he
00:23:59
was going on. I'm like, "Oh my god, he's still he's got to follow every joke." And he still did great.
00:24:05
I told him, I said, "You if we swap sets, this could be a different conversation cuz he's like, "You did the
00:24:12
best. Don't even [ __ ] try to tell me I did, too." And he and he's being very sweet, but I go, "But we know it was
00:24:17
about they didn't have any juice left and we were 2 hours into a show. I couldn't believe how well Tom Brady did
00:24:22
three hours into a show. I was like, but it was a good time though all around. Who did you guys in your career like do
00:24:29
you feel were there any moments where someone went out of their way to vouch for you or say you're funny that is like
00:24:36
stands out to you? I know you have tons, but well, uh, for me,
00:24:42
um, I guess Brad Gray, uh, and Bernie Burlstein, they were, um, they just
00:24:51
championed me. I had other managers and people didn't get me. I I was sort of a cutesy guy. I didn't look like a
00:24:56
comedian. I did a lot of weird uh, sitcoms because I didn't know that I'd be on Saturday Night Live in three
00:25:03
years, you know. Whoa. Really? They were the first ones that said, "Yeah, you you Yeah, you
00:25:08
you've got it." And um and directed you towards SNL and that kind of thing. Were they the ones that say, "This is where you belong."
00:25:15
Yes. And Bernie managed Lauren Michaels. He was Bernie was Lauren's manager.
00:25:20
Got it. And we were all in the ecosystem there. So, it was a lot of luck. But uh just
00:25:26
want for a second the the being competitive like Kevin Hart I'm sure is maybe he's like who can get to a billion
00:25:32
or whatever is a separate lane from generosity. Yeah. And being you know it's like I could
00:25:37
imagine you meeting a version of yourself who's like 22 in the clubs and you you catch something good about
00:25:43
and I her you just make sure Well, just to be
00:25:48
honest, you probably would squash her. Um and because of the amount of time I've been doing it versus her. Yeah.
00:25:54
Yeah. Can you pull out the tricks? Uh, and then the baton. Uh,
00:26:01
yeah. I am That's what I was talking like the Jean Benet story that I didn't get like I'm threatened by girls who are
00:26:06
like younger and prettier and and I can see potential in them. Like of course I want them to go away and to get, you
00:26:14
know, get a boy like, you know, Britney Murphy out. I hate to I'm making obviously a joke but I want them to get
00:26:19
a boyfriend who controls them and then they don't get to succeed and be and reach their potential. There's a secret
00:26:24
deep part of me that yes because when if they to me it's a survival of the fittest and if she's out there then
00:26:30
that's one less spot for me and and people say there's room enough for everyone but there is a threshold for how many people people can know. So
00:26:37
there you can say it all day everyone can be famous but we don't not everyone can there is a threshold. So there is a
00:26:44
spot if someone goes another spot opens up. And but now I fight that disgusting
00:26:49
part of my brain that is so jealous and so uh critical. And when I I challenge myself every time I get threatened by a
00:26:56
girl on Instagram, like I see a clip of a young hot girl and she's being hilarious like Katherine Bamford or uh
00:27:02
what is her name? Caroline Benowitz. These two like cute blonde hilarious girls. And I'm just like what the [ __ ]
00:27:09
And I just want them it to not be funny so bad. I'm watching it like, "Please don't be funny." And it is cuz it is
00:27:14
every time cuz they're just naturally hilarious in a way that I feel like I'm not. I now instead of when I feel like,
00:27:21
"Go away, bitch." I I post it on my Instagram story and I say, "This girl's hilarious." I just like I have to do it.
00:27:27
It's my rule for myself to like fight that because that people did that to me
00:27:32
early on in my career and tried to like, you know, uh get me cancelled in different clubs and and told people I
00:27:39
was sleeping with comedians to get stage time and I was like a virgin. I didn't even I was scared of sex and I was
00:27:45
suddenly like this [ __ ] that was blowing people disgusting comics for stage time. Um and it it was it really
00:27:51
held me back. I had to like move out of my home club town because it was like I no one respected me and everyone thought
00:27:57
I was stealing jokes from guys. I like that move still works. It's like she's a [ __ ] It's like this sounds
00:28:02
like it's like works through the history of time. Yeah. And it just everyone's like what? And and she was these guys were right.
00:28:10
She's blowing Paulie Shore and he's writing for her and I was I was like I don't know which I should be more insulted by.
00:28:18
Not because Pauliey's hilarious but like that. How could you think he could write these jokes for me and that I would
00:28:23
trust him to write to my voice? Like it was just like it was it. So I try to just do the opposite even though they're
00:28:29
absolutely I res I really relate to that bully the person you know the people that even bully me. What is is the phrase rumor mongerer? Is
00:28:36
that the phrase people who cultivate rumors to destroy people? It's it's easy
00:28:42
to do, isn't it? like shodenroy, you know the German word for
00:28:47
taking joy in your friends failures though that we all we all are five year oh okay we're all 10 years old inside so
00:28:54
there is all those reflexes you know it's like Toy Story there's a new kid in town you know all that we do the next
00:29:01
the next Nikki Glazer it's instinctual you're being replaced there's someone younger they get more
00:29:06
attention they're more fertile like these are all the things I talk about in my special but yeah it it makes sense
00:29:11
like I remember Um, what was I just going to say? The Oh, but when um the my
00:29:17
bully in my hometown like who really devastated me and I really did have to leave town because she got all of my
00:29:23
friend comics against me. Like my club that I started at, like I just couldn't get stage time because she convinced
00:29:28
everyone I was a a a hack [ __ ] And so, um, that's the title of your next special.
00:29:36
Hack [ __ ] I I think that's like the Japanese translation of my of the the one that's
00:29:42
out now. It's your poster. It's the poster I in Tokyo.
00:29:49
But but I remember um uh I had told Amy Schumer was uh we were dear friends at
00:29:55
and we were talking about and she knew all about her and oh we both hated this girl and we're like oh you know what you
00:30:00
this is going to drive you to succeed. And I finally got to a place where I was doing really well. And I remember texting Amy one day like I found out
00:30:07
she's pregnant and I was kind of like oh she's like got a husband and boyfriend and Amy just goes you won and it was I
00:30:15
was like oh you're right we're not going to hear much from her now. Um so yeah that's my new thing is wishing girls
00:30:21
pregnant you wish him to get pregnant to get rid of instead of death just pregnancy.
00:30:26
It buys you some time. Yeah, when we did the roast for Robo. I saw
00:30:32
Rob yesterday actually. We did the roast for Roblo. Why did I say that? Um, we uh
00:30:37
he's because you can't not see him and go like I'm looking at a perfect It's jarring what he looks at. I'm sure
00:30:43
you never get used to it, but yeah, when we were doing the roast, it still bothers me. It is my John Bet.
00:30:51
when I did uh the roast with Nikki, that's the only one I've done
00:30:56
was for against Roblo or whatever it's called. It was Roblo roast. And then I thought one of the
00:31:02
interesting things cuz I never did it was the respect and quiet unwritten rule
00:31:08
that regular people don't seem to know when I go to the improv. If Jeff Ross is
00:31:13
on stage, I don't go in. And when they're practicing rose jokes, I saw you the other night. You're doing yours. the
00:31:19
other comics that are on the roast step aside on their own. They go, "We're not allowed to see each other." Yep.
00:31:25
And when you go to the stage, Dana, they were like, "That day I'm going to just look at the prompter."
00:31:30
Rob Low is there and they go, "We got to get Roblo out before you can come in." And everyone's in on it and everyone
00:31:36
understands. Yep. Oh, wait. Nikki's in there. Yeah. They just go, "You're not ready to go in yet." And I in my head I go, "Oh,
00:31:43
Nikki must someone's in there." Yeah. We don't. That's the strange thing I've noticed that. And this time around,
00:31:48
like I'm running into Jeff around town and I'm you're trying to get a sense of like how hard are we going do with Tom
00:31:54
Brady? Can we me mention Aaron Hernandez? Can we mention him kissing his kids? Can we mention Jazelle even? Can we mention Bridget Moahan? Can we
00:32:00
mention him deflating balls? Like you don't know where the line is. So I got on an early call and I'm like, you know
00:32:06
what's the vi like? You just want to get a sense of other people's jokes to see what's going on. Know what they are. Yeah. But you can't because you you wouldn't
00:32:13
want anyone to see your jokes. So you Because you go, am I the one going too far? That's That's the funny part. And then you hear someone going too far
00:32:18
and you're like, "Well, now I want to go further." And now your whole bar rises. Yeah. Yeah.
00:32:24
That's what happened to me like a week ago. I'm like, "Wait, there is an Aaron Hernandez joke?" Like, "We're going to joke about a guy who hung himself in
00:32:29
prison tragically after killing someone because he had CTE, which is what all these guys are going to get on stage eventually." Like, "Oh, we're going
00:32:36
there. Let's Okay. Now, there were three of them, right?" Yeah. Yeah. I mean, might have been. It was. Yeah. There were
00:32:42
Bridget Monahan said something today. She did. She said she posted something
00:32:47
like uh you know I would never it wasn't it wasn't saying her but he she said I
00:32:53
would never let people. It's really what you think she'd say. Something like that's not something I would do. I thought we would never do stuff like
00:32:59
this. Yeah. About and it was like because she gets dragged into it I think from one of your jokes. Yeah.
00:33:04
But also Jazelle took such a [ __ ] beating that I all I wanted was her to walk out at
00:33:10
the end and get a standing ovation. How cool would that have been? I'm sure they tried to get her, but there's no
00:33:15
way. That would have been so cool. In a [ __ ] karate ghee.
00:33:20
It's Brazilian with a white belt. She goes, "It's a white belt. It's not about the karate
00:33:25
lesson." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't learned one thing. Okay. I have a question, Nikki.
00:33:31
Yeah. In in the room and your vibe, you're looking at Tom,
00:33:36
you're watching him. He's a good sport. They say he got mad at Jeff Ross for a
00:33:41
second. What's your vibe of how much pain or not pain he was feeling and how
00:33:46
much he was expecting these level of jokes or was he surprised?
00:33:52
I could down for whatever. I mean, there was, you know, we all agreed not to make
00:33:58
fun of his kids in the kissing thing. We all were like, we don't want to bring that into it because
00:34:05
it, you know, his kids are in like middle school. We want to them to keep that special
00:34:10
between them. Yeah. Um, and so, uh, we just decided that was
00:34:15
kind of the only that was the only one that I was like, "Hey, we're all kind of collectively not going to do that." And I go, "Okay, well, there goes half my
00:34:22
act." Lit like so much was about I'm kissing the helping because that was the only thing I knew
00:34:27
about him. Like that was when that video came out, I was kind of obsessed with it because my dad used to kiss me on the
00:34:33
lips as a kid and and I had a I bit like it went into my adulthood where I was like, "We can't do this any I know we do
00:34:38
this as a family." and my other friends would be like, "You guys kiss in the like I related to it." So, I had a lot
00:34:43
of jokes about that and then they all went away. But, um, I forget what your question was.
00:34:48
Well, well, did you feel like that he was like some people might say see that he co-signed for the Jazelle jokes and
00:34:55
he had a heads up that where they were going to go to? Dude, it was so rough. Well, I I couldn't look at him because I felt like
00:35:02
he even in there's this clip of me online that I I'm watching and you he cuts to him and he looks devastated like
00:35:08
he looks really shellight smile heights. Yeah. And I thought he would be able to fake it more, but I also I'm like, "Oh,
00:35:16
wow." I thought he was going to know all of our jokes. I honestly cuz he's an EP on it, so I thought he and he's wants to
00:35:22
control things. It's like I'm sure he's he's going to deflate some of our jokes by looking at them and you know and and
00:35:28
making them more palatable for him to handle and hold and um but he didn't and he he cuz even when um Jeff made the
00:35:35
Robert Craft joke about like alluding to the happy ending massages he got up and was like no I didn't hear it happen but
00:35:42
I I saw him get up. I didn't know what he said but I was on Stern yesterday and he said that he was like no that's too far or something
00:35:48
and that was a real saw that [ __ ] again. Yeah. That's what he said. Yeah. Yikes. I would because Jeff Jeff did sit
00:35:54
back down and was like did I c like was that because he tried to hand God's green earth would it be about that?
00:36:00
What do you mean? Why why is he picking that that talk? Because I think Robert Craft was a hard
00:36:06
get to get in that room and Tom probably vouched and said they are not going to come after you.
00:36:11
You cannot sit in the [ __ ] within a mile radius. No, but that was that he should have communicated better because
00:36:17
Jeff would have never ever overset the line that Tom put down and he would have made it like he wouldn't have ever so
00:36:23
that wasn't communicated clearly because Jeff was so like conscious about it.
00:36:30
But he was offended, dude. I really do think that he didn't expect it. But I was checking in with Jeff beforehand and
00:36:36
he was like he's ready to go. He wants to do this full throttle. Let's go. No holds barred. Just not the kids. Like he
00:36:42
can take it. And I go Jazelle. And you're like, "Yep, he can take it." I'm like, "All right." I And if you watch If
00:36:47
you watch a Greg Geraldo roast compilation, that's all you need to do to watch to
00:36:53
know what you're in for. Like, it's going to be that level cuz we're all watching those and we're all striving for that level of
00:36:59
of cringy of truth and harshness and Yeah. And so
00:37:05
for him to to ever be surprised at anything is just bad planning. And you didn't and you thought you were
00:37:10
impervious to it or something. That's insane. Everything we know about Tom Brady as an athlete, his preparation,
00:37:16
his perfectionism. I mean, he would scream it. So, there is a crazy as a fox
00:37:21
kind of vibe here. Oh, yeah. I mean, studying him. Yeah. Well, he's very he's more vulnerable.
00:37:27
He's more human. They call him the human robot. He's about to sign a $375 million deal to be in the booth. So, these
00:37:34
little aids and jokes, it's all been sort of said out loud in a vicious way.
00:37:39
So I think it's a new day in town for him walking down the street cuz you kind of feel empathy for him. There was that
00:37:45
joke he I think it was Kevin Hart. You went eight and nine and you lost your wife and kids. Oh yeah, it was worth going eight and
00:37:51
nine for. There was that too. But as far as primality, if you're talking about the male psyche and the male ego and what
00:37:58
however that went down, we don't know. Yeah. But that's a very uh that that made me
00:38:04
empathetic toward him hearing that. I agree. I think I think he didn't think that angle of like losing your family
00:38:11
would be losing family term. It is. And um and the truth is he did it
00:38:17
like he wasn't he didn't abandon his kids. He's like a great father. He that I hope that he was able to just know
00:38:24
that that's not true. And wouldn't you not want that out there just that people casual viewer goes, "Oh, he deserves kids."
00:38:31
Now that's what I know about him. Like anyone who doesn't we defined who he is now. You're so right there. This is
00:38:36
opening up a world in which he might face more criticism. I do know he didn't go to the afterparty, you know, like
00:38:42
he [ __ ] would go cry in the corner. He would have water. But, you know, it's divorce with with like a a total net
00:38:48
worth between the two of them about a half billion. And their kids are living online every day. They're 10 and 12 or
00:38:54
something like that. So, they're seeing all these jokes. So, brutal. But but but then so this
00:39:01
they they're already acclimated. It's not out of the blue. Yeah, that's a good point. I mean,
00:39:07
it's just their life and and that was when I I said some savage joke about the I think the eating ass gazelle joke and
00:39:13
which I was scared to even look towards him, but then I was just like you're Tom Brady. I just I go you'll be
00:39:19
okay. Like I really I literally said that because I'm like you will like it. And you did ask for this and if you
00:39:26
don't know how it it's interesting because I wonder I'm I'm going on Kimmel later today and my angle is like oh let
00:39:33
me read some jokes about me that didn't make it like there's a writer's room and so many jokes of that you know people
00:39:38
didn't use about me cuz I wasn't people thought you know let's there's more important people to talk about. I'll
00:39:44
read those. And so those are coming in right now and I'm like, "Oh god." Like, and some of them are from my like close
00:39:50
friends who are in that room. And I'm like, "You you see this thing about me that I thought I only saw about myself?"
00:39:56
Like, I'm having that moment. But I think that's I feel like it's a good move cuz I was going to read roast jokes that
00:40:01
didn't make it and just go harder on people. And I'm like, "No, what if I go hard on myself and it kind of give myself that Tom Brady treatment that I
00:40:08
just dished out." But it's hard, man. It's a great idea. But yeah, it is sort of like, you know, what are people
00:40:15
perceiving about me that I don't see because you don't even like they would
00:40:20
never like the things we said about Tom Brady. We would he you can't even tell him in a you know on a Zoom meeting of
00:40:26
like here's the areas that we might go to. Like no one did that. No one even said because there are things about me I
00:40:33
know that I just already read coming in where I'm like I really didn't know anyone thought that about me. Like I
00:40:39
really thought that was just between me and the mirror when I'm alone. Yeah.
00:40:44
And so that's why you can't get roasted. Like I I think I got asked to be roasted once and it's good money but I thought I
00:40:50
could never handle it and that's why I never did it and I only did it as a host and in the host you're in the crossfire
00:40:57
and I think some jokes about me got traded because we got that last minute
00:41:03
edition and it was too juicy. So everyone jumped on an Coulter. Oh god.
00:41:09
Yeah. So, she became the punch and later I was told, "Oh, you dodged a few bullets because people switched
00:41:16
because I'm surprised you did that." Looking I didn't I wasn't really friends with you back then, but knowing you now, um I'm
00:41:22
so glad you did, but it was it's brutal. It hurts so much. I'm glad that I kind of got brushed over, but there was like
00:41:28
one one or two jokes about me that afterwards at the after party I just was kind of a little bit like processing and
00:41:34
being like, "Wait, why did he write like that? Was that a joke or was that from a real place and like
00:41:39
Yeah. Yeah. It stays with you a little bit. So, it's, you know, but it's worth it because it's the exposure and the
00:41:45
if Brady's my friend, he has a he's has a shirt on top and underneath he has a t-shirt and at the end he unbuttons it
00:41:52
and it's just all the topics that were covered. Gazelle trainer ass. So, he just goes, "Knew it."
00:42:00
That would Yes. Knew it. But yeah, I wouldn't want to do that. I mean the early ones, the first
00:42:06
one, one of that was big. Was it was it Chvy Chase? One of the first on the Comedy Central
00:42:13
and that one because I don't think Chvy was ready for it. I really saw real pain and real wish I wasn't here. I think now
00:42:20
people who do it, I mean the next celebrity is going to do it. Come on, man. You have to honestly
00:42:27
You do. You have to know you're not No one is immune to it. That's that's kind of like the person we want to get who
00:42:33
thinks they're such hot [ __ ] that that that there's nothing there. It's everyone everyone else can be looked at like that but not me. And
00:42:39
that's that's kind of was maybe was Tom Brady was feeling. Yeah, that's a good one. But um now he knows.
00:42:44
Well, Nikki, would you rather be This is the problem I thought with the Chvy Chase one was Don Rickles and those
00:42:50
guys in the old days if people know that was the fun roast. Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, huge stars and they were little
00:42:56
pokes 1970s you know and they were fun pokes. They're all friends. Chvy Chase. I think it was strangers hired assassins. So, a
00:43:04
guy's like, "Hi, uh, I'm I'm, you know, whoever. By the way, you're a piece of shit." And now it's too mean because
00:43:10
you're like, "Wait, who's this guy?" And so, is it worse from strangers or is it
00:43:15
worse from your friends? If you were roasting me and it was too mean, I wouldn't even know how to look at you after. I would be
00:43:20
Yeah, I felt way worse roasting Jeff Ross and Bert Chryser and Oh, right. You said he was disgusting.
00:43:26
Yeah, I said he's disgusting to look at and I was going to lose that joke cuz I'm just it's so harsh. And my friends
00:43:32
were being like, "Yeah, it's not really You don't even say what he looks like. You just say he's disgusting to look at." And I go, "No, but that's why it's
00:43:38
funny. It's just it's so that's the reason I like it. That's not the reason you're disgusting. It's intentional to be
00:43:45
a sea lion uh reference like go back to the ocean." Was that? Oh, that was like the only woman you'll ever make wet is the one who helps roll
00:43:51
you back into the ocean. That was your line, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's another great line. It's just a great joke.
00:43:57
It's And then I had to sit back down next to him and um and and I do love him and I actually do think he looks better.
00:44:02
Like he's looking good. Recent I love Jeff Ross and then to tell Bert I like oh I'm such a fan of your joke. Like I
00:44:08
obviously I told Bert later you know I don't feel that way and and then um but yeah I think it's strangers it's easier
00:44:15
to be vicious because I don't know them. Like I didn't even meet Tom before the roast so it was way easier to be
00:44:20
to say sociopathic things to him because I didn't he's just a person. He's a just
00:44:26
a person on a page to me like he's not Isn't Jeff Frost kind of a ladies man or
00:44:31
you know Yeah, he does really he he I met him once. Yeah. Very young, beautiful woman with
00:44:37
he's charming and adorable and yeah, it's uh but it felt it felt in the past
00:44:43
I I wasn't close with Jeff or I guess it was 5 years ago that I did the last one and this time I just I felt a lot I
00:44:49
guess I'm growing as a person cuz I felt way worse this time around saying these jokes than I ever have. I really never
00:44:55
sorry to keep doing forever. You know, Tony Hinchcliffe did a good job coming from the crowd. I think coming from the crowd is a great
00:45:01
trick. A no one expects anything from him. They don't most people don't know. Yes.
00:45:06
No bar. Walks out of the audience like I don't I don't even know what he's doing. And I'm a comedian. I'm like where is he
00:45:12
coming on to introduce something? And then he just casually throws a line out about someone then and people are
00:45:18
like who is he? Oh that's kind of funny. Oh that's pretty funny. That's really good. Then he gets like Sam J and he
00:45:25
does no whatever that one was. And then it was like whoa wheream bam bam and then that king king king
00:45:33
rhythm and he was he was amazing. I was blown away. That
00:45:38
was like such a a moment for him and yeah to walk while you're doing it. It was just yeah it the the truth is the
00:45:45
people who do the best in those are the ones that are just like working the hardest. Tony like we I talking to
00:45:50
people afterwards it's like what did you do to prepare this and we were all just so exhausted the ones the the people
00:45:56
that really killed just tighten and tighten and start a month out and just say jokes and edit them
00:46:02
thinking about it obsessively working with people all day long and then running it around town five times a
00:46:08
night. I mean I did five sets a night for like uh a week and a half. It's not even the same too because
00:46:13
you're like these people aren't on the deis. You're telling the crowd. Picture Tom Brady right here. picture. You know
00:46:18
who Tom Seagor is? Picture him over there. I'm gonna say and they're like, "Okay, it's not quite the same, but you
00:46:24
can get a good feel." Yes. Yeah. I have to explain to a room at the laugh factory at 11:00 p.m. at
00:46:29
night, which is mostly Armenians, who Drew Bledsoe is. Like it. So, for this joke, you need to know he was injured
00:46:36
and on 2001. And that's what you know, like it just it's it's exhausting to to set it up. So, it was it was fun to go
00:46:43
ahead and do the ro set for the first time without being like, "Okay, guys, here's I set the stage." Um, but it's
00:46:49
you only but it's just such a weird set to do just one time that Tom sitting there is a whole big
00:46:56
changes everything. That's how many minutes did you do by the way? Um, I don't know how many it ended up being, but it was planned to be it was
00:47:02
count. It was in the clubs it was seven. So, at the forum it was probably like eight, eight and a half with just the the larger laughs. But there was like
00:47:09
jokes I put in last minute of like wanting to shoot my boyfriend in the [ __ ] face for a lottery ticket to suck his dick. Like that was insane. And
00:47:16
I added that the day before and that was like a high risk situation. Like there were some jokes I was like this isn't even really tested. Um I don't know if
00:47:23
this is going to it's just I'm so glad it's over. I mean don't you guys have those things all the time where it's so much
00:47:29
pressure. Well, it's that kind of pressure. I I I did observe you. There was a wide shot as the show was starting and I Oh,
00:47:36
there's Nikki and I thought I saw you go big like like
00:47:43
you probably could see my side from a wide shot at the forum. You see my body moving
00:47:49
over. I just saw and I thought that's exactly the frame of mind I would be in like okay here we go. It's also be haha
00:47:55
haha but we have a job to do. I I'm this is part of my career. This this audience
00:48:00
is enormous. You don't want to think about it cuz the way everything is stratified. This is still playing on
00:48:06
Netflix. It's trending for months. So there was you wanted to go, ah, this isn't important. I'm just roasting. Ah,
00:48:12
[ __ ] it. But then side you go, no, this is kind of the biggest thing I'll ever do. It's the Super Bowl of comedy. Like the amount of
00:48:18
I will never literally I'll never have a moment in my career like I had yesterday, the day after the roast. There's nothing I I can do as a comedian
00:48:26
hosting SNL, announcing I just had a baby, marry, maybe if I like start dating Taylor Swift. That's the only
00:48:32
amount of texts I will get. Like this is the scale of this is unprecedented for a comedian. Like my special will come out,
00:48:37
I won't even get this many texts. It won't ever happen again like this. And um so yeah, I but I kind of had a
00:48:44
feeling about that. So you can't there's other opportunities that I've gone, wow, I didn't work hard enough. I didn't understand the scale of that and I
00:48:50
[ __ ] phoned it in and I'll never do that again. But this I just had a feeling this is going to be pretty big.
00:48:55
So you got to work hard. [Music]
00:49:00
What was an opportunity where you felt you phoned it in? I'm just curious. Oh, I well uh recently I did I presented
00:49:07
at the um creative arts Emmys that was going to be airing on FXX. So, I was just like I
00:49:12
I had a lot to do that week and I was like I'll just do whatever they write for me and punch it up and I should have had my own angle. John Melany won. I'm
00:49:19
presenting it to him and like the thing I did for that was just so not fun. Like it I it I totally blew it.
00:49:25
Totally blew it. And I'm like, "Oh man, this would have this is a room of all like the people in the industry like I
00:49:30
squandered it." And I go, "Okay, lesson that I learned 20 years in. I shouldn't have learned this this late, but never
00:49:36
like treat these things, treat everything at least as try to best you did because you didn't do the best you
00:49:42
could do." Are comedians more disciplined now? Because I mean, know there was always Jerry Seinfeld, at least for me, in the
00:49:47
clubs and he was super disciplined, but a lot of really good comics would get a
00:49:52
set, which was maybe like 30, and then they would do crowd work. Mhm. And they would just develop a drinking
00:49:58
problem, and they would go out across the country, and then you'd see them five years later, it's the exact same s.
00:50:04
And then we're meeting John Melany and Jim Gaffigan and you and Jerry Sunfeld and learning about this this idea of
00:50:10
treating it like a college essay, like every line. and and then going into the club night after night. I don't know
00:50:16
people did that back then. The successful ones did. Yeah. It's there's a component to being
00:50:22
funny that is like just how hard you work. Like you can we all think it's
00:50:27
just natural and and and by and it is that's
00:50:33
what gets you into it. But yeah, you can be so much funnier by doing things that aren't funny at all and are just really
00:50:40
just focusing. But I mean those guys that you listed like I don't work like that on my standup. I after this roast I
00:50:46
was like man if I worked this hard on my that's what you know at this level that I worked at I I didn't I did for my
00:50:51
special that is out on HBO now but it's like I didn't give enough time. I worked probably about two months on an hour set
00:50:59
and this I worked for a month on six minutes. So for the next hour I have to work 10 months ahead of time to get this
00:51:05
kind of precision. And that's what I learned from this is like it's it takes it takes a month to get a the
00:51:11
six going to the club, recording, listening to it, and changing and and having a script and working with
00:51:17
a writer's assistant who's keeping track of, wait, you said this thing on stage, like who's in the room jotting things down, cuz I don't like listening back to
00:51:23
myself, so I just for my special, I hired someone to like come on the road with me and keep track of what I was saying on stage, riffing. That would be
00:51:29
I've never I've never heard that, but that's brilliant. I just was like, why am I not treating
00:51:35
my specials like I would treat if I was a show? Yeah. A movie. Like, I need
00:51:43
help. I want people to punch this up to make it funnier. I want I, you know, this doesn't have to be this solo
00:51:49
endeavor that I've always thought standup is that I like about standup because it's about control and I can say, I did this. No, I didn't have any
00:51:55
help. I can take all the credit. Um, but it's so much better if you have help and it's the and you can take credit because
00:52:01
it's the smart way to approach it. It's a good way to do it because you're the character. So if someone writes a joke for you, we we know kind of what your
00:52:08
style is. I think Kevin Hart a few years back I was impressed that he'd go to flappers.
00:52:13
Yeah. He'd have just bare ideas, kind of rough ideas. He'd have four or five writers in
00:52:18
the room even though it was packed 200 seats and he would just do it and then they would sort of yell out and he goes,
00:52:24
"What was that thing again?" And then he would do it again. Then they would go in the little room, they'd have that rented out for the night. They compare notes
00:52:30
between shows. Do this, do this, to do this. So there are ways to treat it so it will
00:52:36
move faster. You know, it doesn't have to take two years to get say you need
00:52:42
Dave Ael David did 35 of standup and five of And it was great. I loved his special. God,
00:52:49
we did too. Nikki, you know the uh I think when our Rob low roast it was just a hair early cuz when you guys get the
00:52:58
benefit of Tik Tok I wish we had Tik Tok Instagram. There's so many things getting passed around after the roast
00:53:04
that I don't think we got back then. It was just like did you see it? Oh, it'll rerun soon.
00:53:10
Uh you can watch it in like another month. But a it's live so it makes it more which is a great idea from Ted and
00:53:17
B it gets passed around. So, you're going to see it somehow. You're going to see your set, Tony, whoever, whoever.
00:53:24
Tom's best joke about the [ __ ] give me 20 million. I'll I'll admit I did it or whatever. That was wild.
00:53:29
Great. Great. Great. Yes. We should even seen our old clips are
00:53:35
being re rec
00:53:42
um sticky online and I've seen a couple of viewers like they're taking them from now and like I'm getting a boost. I'm
00:53:48
seeing boosts from like old roast of just people uh regenerating that stuff. But yeah, I mean the scale of this it
00:53:54
was everywhere yesterday. It was Comedy Central is not Netflix unfortunately. Even I did a special on there and it
00:54:00
didn't get seen as much as Netflix. Does your Comedy Central compare to Netflix?
00:54:06
I mean yeah HBO Comedy I Yeah HBO HBO's not global so
00:54:11
which is fine because it's like about Okay. You might not be able to tour internationally. I'm okay. the Congo.
00:54:18
Yeah, cuz you know I'll go there if they want me. So, I'm kind of I'll do any I'll go anywhere.
00:54:25
I'll take any gig. So, I'm kind of glad that and I don't like traveling internationally. I get stressed out by
00:54:30
customs. So, I'm kind of like, okay, I'm I'm good not going. And HBO has a, you know, uh a classiness to it that I
00:54:36
really like and they're really selective. So, um but yeah, there's definitely a difference. Um
00:54:42
yeah, my Comedy Central and Dana couldn't even find honestly. No joke. I was like, check it out. He's like, I
00:54:47
can't I got to get online and then I got to join. I couldn't find it. You can find it on YouTube, I think. But that's why that's But that's almost good
00:54:53
though because that's why when we're in Vegas and I'm like on, you know, at the Venetian, Dave and I have
00:55:00
um So, you two play the Venetian on a regular basis. And
00:55:05
uh what's your next gig? It'll be I think it's July. We got July. We got September. July is a little hot. They
00:55:12
they had me play there and it's just it was 117 the weekend I was there. I think this is the last July Vegas is
00:55:18
going to be functional. What does that mean? Just in terms of climate change like it's we're we're getting it's getting
00:55:25
dicey. So this is one of the last summers I think that town will be inhabitable. Um but actually it's kind
00:55:30
of all indoors at this point and we'll be there but it's still the crowd is wilted. That's a that's a
00:55:35
problem. Yeah. They've been out in the but they're it's it's such a fun show. But that's why I'm always like, Dave, will you just do bits from that comedy set?
00:55:42
Like I know them and you can because no one saw it and that I feel the same way about some stuff in the past
00:55:48
and I hate it cuz you go, "God, I did it." And I technically I'm not supposed to use them, but I'm like, but you can again
00:55:53
I work so hard on it and then I'm like and who saw it? And then you do one anywhere else and you go, "Oh, these
00:55:58
people saw it." Yeah. Yeah. And it feels like I did it. Shame. But but you know what? But with
00:56:04
you're the kind you have the kind of jokes that you want to hear again and again. There's like only a handful of comedians who you want. Same with you
00:56:12
Dana. Like this that you want to see bits again. Like the it's it's not just the element of surprise that makes it
00:56:17
funny. I think a lot of my jokes are like it's oh it's that twist a phrase turn of phrase at the end and once you
00:56:23
hear it it's like the you know the rabbit's out of the hat. But for you guys I think I want to hear stuff over and over.
00:56:29
Well I don't know. Last time you saw me I didn't have anything. I just had bare notes. It was Oh my god. You were so funny. Last time
00:56:36
I was such a treat. I'm just doing, you know, I kind of am a sketch player at a heart. So then if I
00:56:42
do say Paul McCartney and the audience is hot, I'll just keep going. But I was interested in you guys on the
00:56:49
road. So who do you flip a coin? Who closes? Who open? Oh, Dave closes. I don't want to touch
00:56:54
that. He's Cuz he's David Spade. Yeah, he's [ __ ] David Spade. He's my favorite comedian. I I like I start
00:57:00
sounding like him by the end of the week. Like that's the joy of working with him is like I absorb his funniness
00:57:07
a little bit and I and I can spin it like I I totally steal his like cadence not even intentionally you know it's
00:57:13
like when Madonna starts sounding British like you just hang out enough and you just can't help but be funnier around him and then I get to
00:57:19
it's you know when you're on the road you just like after you get off stage I have to go do a meet and greet and I'm kind of alone and but this after I get
00:57:26
off stage I just get to go watch my favorite comedian and like they're they're doing stuff that I requested
00:57:31
like I get to put in requests and I look at Nikki and mention her half the time because she likes a joke. I
00:57:37
look over and go, it's so fun. Um, and we go out to dinner beforehand and um it's just a great
00:57:43
weekend. It makes it a weekend I look forward to and we do it about four or five times a week. Yeah, when you're solo on the road,
00:57:49
really solo um yeah, it's a little lonely. You're in the the day of the hotel is so long and what do I do? Mhm.
00:57:57
So if you do have another person there, the whole energy you come out, I remember playing there was playing a big
00:58:02
casino with Dennis and it was starting at 8 and it's one of those things where they come in later, but we we peaked out
00:58:09
the curtain and all the chairs were empty. It was like 7:58 and he goes, "Christ
00:58:15
sakes, Carvy, are we three dog night all this time?" It's like, "So Dennis, then they rush
00:58:23
in. They're finishing their drinks and they rush in and we were okay." Okay. But at that moment, you know, all right, we got to let Nikki go for
00:58:30
Jimmy Kimmel tonight. What's your first line? You sit down. Your first joke.
00:58:36
Uh, I'll probably like I've been I'll probably thank him for sending me an email because he he that'll get us into
00:58:43
some areas. And I really do want to thank him because he wrote me a really nice email when he didn't need to and he's a busy man. So, I'll probably do
00:58:49
that. Ingratiate myself. Ingratiation. Good. Talk about spray tan something. I don't know. you I always comment on I just try
00:58:56
to get it whatever is going on to settle in. Just settle in. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Make a joke about how I'm trying to
00:59:02
dress like dually, but like the outfit I'm wearing, I just I'm who do I think I am? Something like that.
00:59:07
I love it. Okay. Find out if you did. I'm going to set my VCR. I saw you last night, Spade, on uh
00:59:14
Kimmel. Um I guess you were on like a month ago or something like that. And I watched your set to like be inspired
00:59:19
because you are always so great on those. And I watched you before Howard, too. I did Howard yesterday and I was like,
00:59:24
"What's the vibe I want to go into with Howard?" Like my ideal Howard is a spade Howard and I didn't nail that, but I
00:59:31
definitely listened to you beforehand to like get in the right state of mind. So, all those take work. The talk shows you
00:59:36
got to those are things you got to plan out a little bit. Absolutely. I realize that you got to you can't just flounder
00:59:42
and just go, "I'm so interesting." You're like, "Nope." Uhuh. You got to have a plan. And I've learned that the hard way as well. Won't
00:59:48
do that again. I'll just leave it at this. as the business side of my head. My final
00:59:53
comment is that you're still penetrating the market, not a sexual pun and you're you're growing your brand and I do think
01:00:00
this special coupled with the roast and the the spot you were in and how you
01:00:05
killed. So, it's just is kind of cool. You are like your own company and it's just doing very well. I just want
01:00:10
Thank you, Dana. that means so much to me and like just uh yeah the fact that I know both of you is truly I said it on
01:00:17
Tiger Belly yesterday is um is an achievement of my career is like
01:00:22
getting to know um well you were my favorite David told you that cuz David he we'd go to dinners and
01:00:28
stuff and people would visit and then you were always the easiest person I got to go to a dinner with you once and then
01:00:33
we had such a great talk and then yeah I felt like I like was friends with you afterwards it just took one dinner and
01:00:38
it was it was amazing that was one of the best nights of my like it was so cool. Well, I'd love to do it again.
01:00:44
I would too. It felt like it today. Thank you guys for having me. Pleasure. Bye, sweetheart. I'll talk. Enjoy
01:00:50
yourself. Bye. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like,
01:00:57
or review, all the stuff. Smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts. Fly in the Wall is
01:01:03
executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey, Charlie Fein of Bilstein
01:01:08
Entertainment, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.
