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hey guys it's spoodle uh you can always go to Davids spade.com to look at my
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tour dates because I bless a lot of cities in America with my hilarious standup act or you could not go to it
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and get on my enemy list up to you Eric
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Andre is our guest today which who I don't really know well at all I think
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I've seen him out and I've obviously seen a ton of his yes stuff he does very clever very crazy show and uh very smart
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dude and I really like to sit with him and talk to him because I didn't know I don't know anything about him so I have
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no judgment just like it's so great to see someone right in front of me he came into the house and then we got to do it here which is really fun easy to talk to
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has a book coming out dumb ideas really is insight into the intellect and the
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the the Brain Trust behind the Eric Andre show and other things he's a master of uh of pranks they've taken uh
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his hero Johnny Knoxville and you know um Borat and other things and they postm
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modernized it made it um it's incredibly entertaining stuff to watch so we doing
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the research I became a big fan yeah and he's fun and easy to talk to I hear his name a lot because a lot of people are
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like did you see what he did did you see this and he's just very good at all that and constructing these elaborate pranks
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and they're really edgy and really where I was wondering like how do you not get this [ __ ] kicked out of you it's so
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terrifying like some of the stuff that seems very illegal and he's got his show and uh the movie and uh now the book um
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just a great great interesting person and we had a lot of laughs I have to say and if you're a fan of his uh it also
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was just really just people talking in a room so it was very nice to get to know him and uh the Mind
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R-rated there was was some description of some comedy pieces and they were a bit adult let's put it that way anyway
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please enjoy our next podcast number 375 million Eric
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[Laughter] [Music]
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Andre we have time for one more question that call you made to to Dan Curry I don't even know what that was about I
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don't know what that was about but so who was the guy that would come into SNL or or lady that came into SNL and
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you guys are all like oh [ __ ] so and so's here it's going to be a long it's going to be a long week maybe that's too
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[ __ ] t no it would be it would be early on you just walk into Lauren's office and and M for my gener MC Jagger's just
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sitting there a sweater and you're like and he's like make me [ __ ] and then
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Lauren goes coffee and Danny goes no thanks he goes no get some to didn't Eddie Murphy call you when you
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made phone of boomerang one time I remember on Howard Stern you made fun of boomerang you go oh look a Stars fallen
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and Eddie Murphy hounded you for like a week or something sort of trim down version um but let's get to the core is
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this too gossipy no we want gossipy we're so [ __ ] boring you're our most interesting guest so far no one has
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asked this you've mentioned us three times this is already a blast listen we like to talk about ourselves David tell
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the Murphy story I'll tell it from my side I thought your question a minute ago is who kind of freaked you out if
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they came to the offices like they would someone is walking like Dan a they go oh
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Lauren go Danny might stop by and they like Danny Danny Zuko so uh Billy Billy
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and then there was always PA Sim or Paul mcart yeah and he walk in your office hey what's going on here and then you're just writing some garbage cash but Eddie
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Murphy came by but he W he came to see Rock once I don't even know if I was around because we didn't have a I wasn't
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around I think I made myself I was around for Eddie because he I don't think he was mad at me at that point but he was for a second that was a real
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story but did you write that joke or did did somebody write that joke for you and
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you said it and you're like don't shoot the messenger kind of how did you get out of it uh I should have said that that I didn't even think of saying that
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it's a quarter Century too late you could have saved so much that's what usually happens you go they write
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sketches I go I don't even know what's going like when I did well it was the Hollywood minute it was a thing I was just making jokes where he would just
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[ __ ] on celebrities it's a joke you know it's funny it's a tough that's a ran into bill bellam you know Bill and uh
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he's a great guy I saw him on the flight yesterday Billy B and he said um we were talking about cuz I dated idalis in the
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old days remember idalis on MTV she was a VJ might get too young for you but
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anyway I mean you're too young but anyway they were all friends we were all friends so anyway uh and he's a great
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guy so I said uh he said did you ever meet Downtown Julie Brown I said I did a joke about her and that was it it was
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same thing Hollywood minute oh you she was of course I get them when they're having trouble their career which is so
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[ __ ] rude funnier we're tribal you know I said you were like 23 or
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something yeah I was listen I was scratching to stay on the show and you were killing with that and when
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something worked which most of it wasn't when i' go to read through and I'd be uh
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you know I wouldn't have anything on and then when I did that Lauren two weeks later saying maybe Hollywood minute this week I'd go yeah are you [ __ ] me you
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want you want me to do something of course and then everyone would be like throwing me their roughest jokes but right Julie's was Wubba Wubba Wubba my
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career is in trouba trouba trouba and good and it was a good it was a good was that one of her her hit songs
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or something no she was a VJ that used to that was her catch phrase that was her I yes was yep and uh and I did that
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and then she I just heard through channels that she was upset with you MTV
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back channels yeah I'd be more I'd be more worried about Eddie Murphy oh Eddie Murphy Eddie yeah that but before your
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thing happened he just came back and he just was hanging out which was kind of cool you know this is maybe 89 or
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something so he's Beverly Hills Cop and he just he he put out potty all the time you know that's yeah and he told me how
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great his music was and and I said that's s cool he tells me and he goes I don't think you believe me he goes no I
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really him the [ __ ] man poy all the time and it was pretty big hit it was a hit I wish I had that self-esteem I wish I had
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that confidence and self-esteem and knowing you people might blurp or blurp who's your music uh you can no that's
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that's it's no party all the time I'll tell you that I just like tinkering with
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experimental shitty Noise music on my computer a toe Tapper party all the time part a hit yeah part I love all that the
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technology is Advanced where I can with a producer double track triple this you
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putting out some well yeah I got a lot of songs uh catch I'm a catchphrase guy that's all it is
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you got some jams coming and one phrase over and over again really M okay I'm not saying it's any good
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though music I make yeah it's horrible so do you hate anyone in Hollywood actively right now um uh I'm glad you
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brought that up I have some I have some bones to pick you have the list in your car I got the list bone is his name I
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know who we're talking about I mean leita yongo first off she's in my
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crosshairs loio that [ __ ] sir Lawrence Olivier I
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don't know he's dead or alive Billy D from Detroit no I'm a lover not a fighter I
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beefs I don't even I'm not even cool enough to have can tell from all your pranks stuff that underneath was kind of
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a marshmallow in a good I'm I'm just I'm just channeling my 13-year-old you know
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ID when I'm when I'm razing celebrs on my show I'm not really I'm not make fun of celebrities too I make fun of cele
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I have I have a talk show on Adult Swim that I kind I prank celebrities in like an all show and it's avard it's not more
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than prank it's acid humor well that's what we'd say in our day what would you call it avangard yeah it's acid it's
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crazy it's crazy man I saw one people always like how high are you when you come up with this stuff what do you want
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I'm like coffee and stress who was on where you just suddenly had a boob and you're you're feeling the milk uh Donald
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Glover Donal I was I had a realistic it's all done very casual I'm getting
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you're eating or spitting up ashes or yeah oh yeah yeah I I snorted my uncle's ashes out of the ear Jesus Christ what's
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his uh music name Donald Glover Dana um Dr G
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nope Dr G Dr G if it is it isn't now what is now once he hears this Danny
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Glover that no not Danny Glover Donald Glover Donald Dr G I think you were
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thinking of Dr John from New Orleans yeah that was the guy who came in and killed the choir with the gun yes there
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you go that piece of work is brilliant yeah he's a genius that's CRA that was a
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darling one and what about when you had the one I saw was a tii comes on I think
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what they do they probably know it's going to be some sort of shenanigans right yes because he sits down and and
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then you go I'm a boner and then it pops through the desk dick and then you start jacking it off but his job is to act so
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cool about it is that what it is I don't know if he was that cool about he was trying to be like non plused he was
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trying to be non plused and nobody really knows what non plusus means but I'm going to say he was trying to be non
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plus I throwing it out there non plus to he was recalcitrant he was obdurate
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Jesus Christ know he was superious those real words he was sacren col forg you
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should write a dictionary what he's a Berkeley School of Music you're not we didn't learn anything there I went to
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Jazz school it's like gez this just in learn how to go I just learned the Seinfeld Baseline over and over
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again okay what was your question TI well there was also male full frontal male nudity and then not just the dildo
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but there was a naked we have a naked one of our Pas on the show is naked all the time so he was um by way Dan in this one coming out uh
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uh weener I don't think it's really yours comes out of the desk yeah that was a that was a realistic looking de
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and then he whacks it off no and then a zombie crawls out of the floor oh yeah he didn't like that remember that yeah
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he now why is TI have a problem with this stuff did he not know what the show was about he didn't really know nobody
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really knows or does their research and we tell them little to nothing we we try to we use all types of manipulative ways
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to Juke around their publicist and get them in there without knowing um there
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actress one of the videos I saw blonde hair that you did something and you hurt
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my foot and she seemed really distressed then it becomes do you think no I'm talking about uh yes that was uh karuchi
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Tran was her name karuchi Tran she she's cute but they come and she's adorable but they come out wide eyed and they're
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just seeing it start to happen it's really a trip when they haven't seen the show they get quite stressed they get
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quite stressed well they don't know what's going on they think they're going on like Seth Meers yes yes and then Co
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pulling on their balls from under their chair he's got a little note card instead of a [ __ ] coming out of the desk
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and you're like hey sorry about that so your parents are really happy about your success no problem that's we're kidding
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if you're listening nothing is like this nothing is like on television that I'm
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aware of yeah I hope not well I mean you know I'm the some of my influences you know there's
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a I want you to some of your influences Tom Green again master of distress and T
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his kids [ __ ] nuts ol G you know Borat
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genius and jackass yeah were those the Holy Grail I mean there's others those are the Holy Grail that all came out
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when in the formative you like uh when I was in 12th grade and through college and Chappelle show was on during college
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Years so those were like when I was trying to figure out when I was in the middle of jazz School realizing that
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jazz school is not a promising um career and then I was like spending tons of
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money in uh going to Jazz school and then um you know well my parents were
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spending tons of money putting me through Jazz school and then I was like at towards the end of jazz school I was like don't worry dad uh I figured it out
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I'm not going to play the upright base I'm going to do comedy I'm going to go into pranks that's where the money is
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and my dad was from a third world country he's from Haiti and he became a doctor he's like the American dream so
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he really not into you're doing it backwards yeah I was undoing the
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American dream you have this hope my dad's quote to his friend cuz I just left and did it on my own too he goes oh
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Jesus Christ can you believe my son wants to be a comedian that's the way he talked and I didn't blame him but I just
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did it yeah you know yeah yeah no nobody's dad wants them their kid assume
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it's not going to work I'm going to be an astronaut I you know um music
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comedians Johnny Carson was an amazing drummer you know about that yes is a drummer he's a tow Tapper he was a
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[ __ ] tow Trapper yeah I was a high school garage B grab a tambourine drummer I did I did armson and you are
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both FR serious about isn't got luy with Wayne's World I practice on a jazz set
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and then Yamaha brought in this set oh [ __ ] mle crew set I can't do the solo so
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that I anyway they gave me the Jazz set but I did one as church lady with Danny
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deito and I was doing the Ringo and that one came out really lucky on air just
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that was my mic that's my lady beat beat G and and gu is your impression of your brother right and was your brother a
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drummer no I I added the drumming part but he was the science part of G you
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know science I like that you're very serious because the last thing I saw was you on your talk show and you just stare at the
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guest then you look around and then you go oh it's a bucket of jizz and pours and then I'm like like what the
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[ __ ] so I read movie and it's interesting now you guys your your sort of True North Star was nothing can be
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too dumb but in your book you have a lot of rejected ideas that's too much well a lot of
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those are rejected just because we run out of money oh we don't have a big budget do you have any when you have to run anything by anymore or is it just
00:14:50
sort of you guys do whatever you want we always have Adult Swim has always let us kind of do whatever we want I can't
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imagine some they never like too far we had one thing that they pulled we had a
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country singer come on and sing a pro Al-Qaeda country song and uh like
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2005 yeah September 12th 2001 but um they were not uh they were
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they they they they freaked out I don't know but they freaked out late after we locked the episode and delivered it to
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them I was like I got a call when I was like on mushrooms in Canada in msca
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Ontario and um you were on mushrooms the call I was on mushrooms when I got the call and I thought you were in a
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mushroom field for some reason I was on top of mus you on mushrooms yes and um
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they uh uh yeah they were they were like we can't Heir this I don't know I think it
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like it went up therewi channels and then like a big boss man in the shadows
00:15:49
who is the biggest company that owns you that that show that that show who owns no I guess the do's owned by Turner
00:15:57
which is owned by Warner Brother in Discovery plus which is owned by Lauren Michaels which is owned by Lauren Michaels owned by Planet Kell
00:16:05
Yak I mean it's almost getting there it's not hey AI is coming up I'm
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just saying it do you guys ever go back to SNL and do the show well and is Lauren nice to you yeah
00:16:20
Lauren is like the when do you get to get it's easier now because I for me I'm not as stressed as I was when I was
00:16:27
there you know he's now it's over he's not really my boss anymore I come in host or do something and he's it's just
00:16:32
fun so the anxiety isn't there anxiety is not when when you're in your 20 shoot up when you go in the hallways and you
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feel you get the PTSD yeah there's something very real about that you got you have your big break and Lauren is
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the decider you know of what gets on and everything and so there's a a natural
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like he's the teacher he's the power he's the coach you make fun of you know but then when you get away from the show
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and then you're hosting you're you're hanging out with them he's like buddy all week you see how he casually
00:17:02
produces that show and I we kind of come to the conclusion he might be
00:17:08
Irreplaceable like so he's got to live forever he has do experimental surgy
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it's called the chrisper we can edit je and you like live a really long time if
00:17:19
anyone could do it but he is uh I'm just super fond of him I see him as way more sensitive and vulnerable than I realized
00:17:25
this impenetrable socialite kind of arod character that's part of his comic
00:17:31
persona but he's a really good friend he loves baseball he's just very you can do
00:17:36
sketch uh Lauren Michaels Year 3000 they've kept him alive do you did you um
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ever have a moment you thought you'd want to get on that show when I was starting like when I finally got like an
00:17:49
agent and a manager in my mid 20s um I put together a couple audition
00:17:54
tapes but I never got I never got the call and then towards the end of my 20s air condry show started because it seems
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to me like when you're doing these pranks and you're out there and you're bleeding in the park or something like
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you're really have to be a great actor I'll take it you're acting and
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you've got people there and you can't you one take
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really can I ask you a technical question yeah absolutely cuz you've got a lot of shots so you're bleeding
00:18:24
there's people are coming up to you and you've got all these shots and you kind of my mind I'm thinking of crew but is
00:18:30
it just people who are pretending to be onlookers with hidden hid camera means hidden crew the only way yeah hidden
00:18:36
camera means hidden crew so the crew is playing clth serviceing clothes and they're just around the action they have
00:18:42
their Apple earbuds in as if they're but that's like a com Tech or like their Walky and uh sophistic have like you
00:18:51
know they'll be like a microphone and a coffee cup by a garbage can and those back GoPros there's GoPros everywhere
00:18:58
yeah inside is a different plan than um outside Interiors are you have to build
00:19:04
hides Interiors are way harder and exteriors are a lot easier build hides Dana scribble it down yeah um what about
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when you're outside and you're uh first all obviously you'd be scared to get
00:19:17
shot or beat up I think those those pranks literally today are are even
00:19:23
scarier oh we got a knife uh me and Tiffany hartish and LEL how did a a prank movie called bad trip it's like a
00:19:29
narrative it's Borat a narrative prank movie on Netflix and uh the first prank
00:19:35
re ever shot with us it was the first day of shooting and we got a knife pulled out on us we went into a barber shop in the hood with our penises stuck
00:19:42
in Chinese in a Chinese finger trap and uh and we're stretching they're
00:19:48
pring dick but they look realistic so the dicks are stretching back and forth I thought that on I Love Lucy the dicks
00:19:53
are stretching back we Fred merch and Desi arnes doing that
00:19:59
old I love it's from The Honeymooners and uh no we ran into this barber shop and we
00:20:05
asked the barber we're like hey can we borrow your scissors we're stuck in this and he was like go he went into
00:20:11
this homicidal rage looked for his gun which he told us later that he forgot that day that he brings to work every day and then found his knife and then
00:20:18
chased us out with a knife and then real quit the movie for a little bit then we had to beg him back I get it yeah a
00:20:23
little bit stressful it's a bit stressful yeah there is that the Highwire Act of that is brings part of
00:20:29
the entertainment to the viewer you people don't like obious I think that
00:20:35
you some people if you're doing something that's super uh sexual toward
00:20:41
guys they get really mad too is that do you find that you know what I mean like if you go rub naked and it's one of
00:20:48
those bits guys get really freaked out like they're embarrassed they're humiliate they don't know what's going on yeah I think it we we were in a a
00:20:56
pretty rough let me hear naked guys rubbing up against even if it's real I thought that was just a
00:21:02
rumor well you know we were in a bit of a rough rough around the edges neighborhood in Atlanta and and and I
00:21:09
don't even think the guy heard us we just walked into the barber shop with our penises covered I almost fell over
00:21:15
and then like we went excuse me sir can you help us and then he just saw our dick stretching back and forth so we
00:21:21
just look like eccentric perverts flashing him in his um establishment was it silly putty or was it your real dicks
00:21:27
it was uh a prosthetic um it was a prosthetic penis piece made by like
00:21:32
these Oscar award winers we've been around in this territory a lot on the podcast you know this the stretching
00:21:37
penis thing um you can buy those anyway it's fascinating the one that I thought was that I saw I thought was extra kind
00:21:44
of brilliant was you come in and you have the guy the street vendor and you
00:21:50
get a wig on and you start putting lipstick on oh yeah I love and then the
00:21:55
cop comes in and you're trying don't give me up and then he wants to yeah the cop goes have you seen this guy he's a
00:22:01
homicidal murderer on the loose and at this point I have a wig on sunglasses and lipstick yeah and I'm like we're
00:22:07
both the cop and I are facing the guy we're pranking and I went to the guy don't you say a [ __ ] word so he's
00:22:14
like pointing trying to get the cops tring get cop really really fre fre the
00:22:19
cops an actor and doesn't pick up on someone else comes and then a security guard comes up and he goes have you seen
00:22:24
this guy and he shows a picture of the cop a mug shot of the cop he goes he's ating a police officer he's wanted for
00:22:30
murder they both start going don't you [ __ ] fuing word that's kind of Next
00:22:35
Level way that's so clever yeah that guy was very stressed one where you're
00:22:40
you're dressed as an all gold guy statue oh yeah and then there's a silver statue
00:22:46
and then you casually go over and rack them with a pole or something like really fast comes over and you hit
00:22:53
the cop and everyone's like what the [ __ ] so he's the gold statue you know trying to get money in the park and
00:22:59
there's a silver statue and your guy goes and just starts beating the [ __ ] of the silver man going what the [ __ ] is
00:23:06
going on yeah that but no one like first of all no one's helping anyone anymore but you know they get nervous and run
00:23:12
away but I would think there's so much crime now it's less it's harder to even scare people because it's so common that
00:23:19
they just keep walking like this is normal this is real and I better go you just know people are on edge you can
00:23:26
always you can find you can you can scare people it's yeah well I get scared all the time I don't like to be pranked
00:23:32
I I I nobody really likes to be pranked because it usually like it's usually like I look good you look stupid in the
00:23:40
end you know what I mean and the guy you see the guy in the mall there's a kid and he was being weird to some guy and
00:23:45
the guy turned on shot him yeah yeah yeah I'm sure that made it across your desk oh yep yep I've been I've been
00:23:52
talking about that has your staff has Dan or other guys have they pranked you yeah um H never I mean I mean right
00:24:00
now I'm doing a show on ABC with Johnny Knoxville and he's like hitting me with tasers and stun guns every five seconds
00:24:08
what is the name of this one this is prank panel what called prank tank which is such a better name but Shark Tank
00:24:13
wouldn't give us the really you have to run that they own tank oh it's ABC it's ABC versus NBC [ __ ] yeah so shark tanks
00:24:20
NBC this is ABC prank tank is a good name prank tank rolls up let's do prank tank you can do it if
00:24:26
you give you the ask Lauren to make so I remember seeing this cuz on Johnny's uh
00:24:33
Instagram so yeah so it's you guys go out and do you get Regular People is that how it works it's just like shark
00:24:38
tank for pranks so like people come on and they pitch their prank to us and um we either say yes your prank is awesome
00:24:45
we'll do it for you or we like or we're like nah pass and then but we also are pranking each other and and then you go
00:24:51
if they if you like their prank do you go actively do it we actively we we produce it for them so we not might not
00:24:57
be incorporated in the prank we we usually like help them is just you and Johnny or there me Knoxville and and gab
00:25:03
C okay and so the three of us at one point were all um armed like the second
00:25:08
day of shooting like I had a stun gun on me she had pepper spring oh ready for each other a taser yeah it was a bit
00:25:15
intense but my crew has pranked me but it was like kind of like inside joke stuff I mean my producer Dave bernad on
00:25:23
the movie he put oh he made a credit scroll he's like the movie's locked you just got to approve the credit sco and
00:25:29
he left my name out of all of the opening credits he put everybody else
00:25:34
it's pretty tame taser to the neck but you had to go up and go hey I had called the guy from MGM because it was at MGM
00:25:41
first and I was like I've worked on this movie for seven years I had a meltdown I was like I worked on this movie for
00:25:46
seven and a half years you're not going put my [ __ ] name obvious Miss and you're like do you know who's in this
00:25:51
man like oh Jesus the guy from mg was like what the [ __ ] are you talking about you didn't know he was a loop on
00:25:59
highest guy out you [ __ ] yeah I went full Joe pesy on him I but nuts so
00:26:04
Johnny like he's got all these injuries he was on our podcast it's very interesting how much pain he so many
00:26:10
it's 16 concussions in a brain he PE through his eyeball did you he this and he had he did he broke his urethra and
00:26:17
he had to wear something inside his urea for yeah he had to pee with a cat there for three
00:26:23
years [ __ ] crazy You' avoided all that you you could I hurt myself a
00:26:28
little bit but not like him I asked him one time I was like why do you hurt yourself so much and he went U deep
00:26:36
self-loathing plus I think when the show's a hit then
00:26:42
they do a movie the movie is so [ __ ] exciting to go see that first time they're going that slow motion the shopping cart and everything's blowing
00:26:47
up in the beginning if you're a kid I don't know how old I was like maybe even 20 I had kids at the age where that was
00:26:53
yeah but but it works for every age cuz it's Primal like whole like 80-year-old man can watch it and a 12-year-old kid
00:26:59
can watch it I think boys like it a little bit more than girls but um uhal it's International too like it's
00:27:07
just it's all physical you don't need to know English or any language you can watch it muted
00:27:12
but that's what I'm saying is he probably keeps doing because it's like they throw money at I'm like this is your thing and now it's like too much's
00:27:17
thing then you act and stuff and they're like no fall down no yeah get hit by a
00:27:24
[Music] bull I think in the old days when you date and today you sort of it unfolds as
00:27:32
you get to know them without Googling everything about their life before you see them but yeah
00:27:37
maybe it's known as a safety measure in quotes but it's really it's almost too much to know too fast yeah social media
00:27:45
ruins the like getting to know you some portion of of dating someone 50% of
00:27:51
hookup a little bit 50% of non-celebrity hookups now are on social media or Tinder or those sites % 50% so the tall
00:27:59
men are harvesting so it's like there'd be the stud in the neighborhood in the olden days and he'd harvest the
00:28:05
neighborhood now the tall guy can carry counties Northern California what's going
00:28:10
on well it's just it's it's just bioevolution you know CU it's just all
00:28:15
Digital Image and you know good but there's also filters and then there's actually girls that are AI so they show
00:28:22
up my feet and I'm like I don't know what's going on anymore I don't know this is a and then they're like I make 50 a month and I'm a [ __ ] robot I'm
00:28:29
like wait what yeah yeah yeah they're getting tell you can't tell um how
00:28:35
someone really is from a two-dimensional image of them right you really got I'm I'm personality based we all are digital
00:28:42
image like I never saw John Wayne in person yeah he he's just an image I
00:28:48
never saw gantic 7 foot6 you know what he really was Bob Mitchum told me this
00:28:54
look him up kids anyway so he had the cowboy boots plus lifts he was a true 6'4 so that put him at 67 then he had he
00:29:01
really was Giant and then he would wear a cowboy hat and he got up to about 280 300 lb so when you see him in movie they
00:29:07
can barely fit him in the cabin with the other actors you know come in and sort
00:29:13
what's the rumor about when he died he ate so much meat do you know the rumor no that was El 55 pounds of meat in his
00:29:19
colon they call it come impa what I heard impacted FAL matter David please
00:29:25
it's impact right impacted that was Elvis getting turned there was 37 hot dogs in his when he Elvis was
00:29:34
pooping that is not the way he he was he was alone in the Mansion can I get some paper anybody here even a paper towel he
00:29:42
he was on barbits or something right he wasit he was all ped sound like Adam 12 it's like were you on whites Zoomers
00:29:49
poppers Bing bongs the Reds the yellows the Fizzies the that's that's Judy Garland you know the uppers and the
00:29:55
downers and all Us in that too Judy Garland was flying high oh Mickey Rooney told me that you ever seen that doc
00:30:01
Ellis pitching on um LSD cartoon a no hit or something yeah he
00:30:06
pitched a no no he pitched a no hitter on LSD in the 70s let me ask you guys a question like
00:30:15
now I don't know anything about baseball but that's he was like think Canabis is
00:30:20
a performing enhancing drug cuz they're busting track athletes not for me I
00:30:26
don't think it's a perform enhancing drug for athletes yeah I know they busted they busted another one I think
00:30:33
that's weird old school [ __ ] I don't know but uh yeah I don't know I don't know yeah I
00:30:40
like maybe you could say it like soothes your injuries so you have a step up on
00:30:45
you kind of hyperfocused for some people but maybe it's not my drug it hits me
00:30:51
said in the old days the scariest it's sad when the scariest thing about weed is getting caught like there's nothing
00:30:57
really bad it does you he was saying back in the day do you smoke uh Mary Jane I smoke a little bit but when I
00:31:03
went I I told Dan I went to the one of the weed stores to get a weed pen my neck's bad and I was like I just want a
00:31:09
weed pen they're like which one of these 600 uh float I'm like 600 I don't know I go this is where you come in I go give
00:31:15
me that purple you know North Slope Vietnamese hash oil and so the guy goes
00:31:21
oh and he and then the manager came out he goes oh David Spade he puffs up he goes hey go grab him some fentanyl crab
00:31:26
cakes and uh get him some LSD candy corns and I'm like no no I'm
00:31:34
okay this weird [ __ ] people go just take a gummy I take a couple milligram I take a chocolate and I go but how do you know
00:31:42
how many do you do it before you get to the one you go this is the one that works you must flip out I can't do the
00:31:47
are they strong no I can't do I can't even smoke weed it just bugs me out I don't I have too much everyone thinks
00:31:53
you're such a burnout I hallucinated on Edibles yeah no
00:31:58
it's the only drug I can't do horrible but I think you're right is when people say they must say to you you must been
00:32:04
so baked you must be so Stone it's hard to think of smart things when you're W
00:32:10
no yeah caffeine is is my only trouble I'm working but uh uh yeah weed it
00:32:15
doesn't hit me especially Edibles that's it's just a bad trip every time 5H Hour Energy on the other hand I'm I'm boofing
00:32:22
that I think sein had a 10minute chunk on that 10 5 hour
00:32:28
why after 3 hours you only have two hours left I'm J time I took a sip what
00:32:33
am I 15 minutes but he just had fun with the concept it is I we're going to call
00:32:39
it Five Hour Energy this is a good hook it's good it's going to call five hours Placebo is real yeah listen before now I
00:32:48
have a question before before we get into Emily Rakowski which would be the last 45 minutes um when people say a lot
00:32:55
of our viewers said cu the clickbait I saw was Eric Andre with Emily Rakowski
00:33:00
one of them's naked I'm like click on it's the other one but then she was
00:33:07
naked too but in the background if that's the the picture you know when you go into that malstrom then you become
00:33:15
inside that M that energy I'm non plus right exactly we I know what Mom is but
00:33:24
I don't know if I use it prop it's kind of like some you dat a kind of a someone
00:33:30
another kind of celebrity you go into their ecosystem of how as an influencer or whatever she's constantly
00:33:36
photographed all around the world a whole different crowd yeah that's all I'm saying mom but why didn't you say so
00:33:43
ecosystem uhhuh uhhuh a vend diagram of demographics yeah nothing's clicking for
00:33:48
me yet I did a a gummy before I got there really because you you don't handle
00:33:53
marijuana that's tlor why did you damn it you don't you might not heard
00:34:00
this tayor Swift daating Travis Kelsey so um dating Travis Scott is that he said Travis Kelsey football player that
00:34:06
one is even matriculated to my brain I've seen it the football player in the
00:34:12
my endoplasmic reticulum this I remember I have three words left I'm going to say establishment inanis we
00:34:20
thought when Ashley J when I was doing something for paramont she was doing
00:34:25
like this one of those spider movies a whatever as was great we were friends and I told her once she had dictionary
00:34:31
mouth because she kept saying words like that and it kept throwing me and I go are you doing that on purpose she's like no and I'm like no you can't throw that
00:34:38
many into a sentence just relax yeah um back to Taylor Swift and uh Kel so
00:34:45
that's I'm dating Travis Kelce is that what you're getting I see where this is going and I just want to get ahead of it do you feel like interest to from her
00:34:52
fans and your fans then you've got to be careful because you don't want to make her fans mad or is there anything like that
00:34:57
no I don't think maybe I should think that way and I'd be more successful if I thought that way but I don't I don't
00:35:02
think that's what you think so she that wouldn't bother you she was aware of you
00:35:08
and then she'd probably meet you like you are now and it's it's you know cuz
00:35:13
you seem like an interesting guy Charming calm yes you're
00:35:18
notated sophisticated that's me you know I get I
00:35:23
get you know I have a crush on and everyone gives me [ __ ] David Spate you know everyone gives me [ __ ] about that I
00:35:30
go just say like on Instagram you can say you have a crush you can say you know I think is cute David Spade without
00:35:36
adding an addendum of like you know who's actually
00:35:41
kind of cute they throw actually lot I'm like just to keep your friends at Bay like don't know don't worry I know too I
00:35:47
know you're getting but anything like that at my time on the planet you know
00:35:52
when you get in my in my age group there's no caveat you're still in the cute age group yeah yeah I get I get
00:35:58
Beauty and the Beast I've dated some you know goodlooking people in the public
00:36:03
eye Beauty and the Beast every time and I go look you know I'm not a male model but I'm not the [ __ ] Elephant Man
00:36:08
give me something like Steve for the first 20 years of my life give me something Heather lock or nicholet
00:36:14
Sheran it was always like this [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] like it was the same thing it was not it was Beauty and the Beast is one but the I always thought you
00:36:20
couldn't flip that and say this great look guy is with this dogf face [ __ ] it's like well I mean God damn but with
00:36:27
us it's like you guys it's one safe thing to say about guys that's fine I've
00:36:32
been married 40 years to six different women my point you know what this joke
00:36:38
simultaneously sto saying Beauty and the Beast to him a long time ago here's a bad pun Heather Locker when I was doing
00:36:44
the grumpy old man with her I go Heather lock here Jesus I don't do
00:36:49
jokes that's something you would do on uh you know don't put that on me I'm
00:36:54
not you got dicks connect by Barber lock so I'm [ __ ] a chess
00:37:01
set you walk in jack off this smidget then we're I'd want to be in your riter's
00:37:07
room sure anytime come on down you're going to make 300 bucks a week brother man but what do I next oh I have one
00:37:14
more question $7 in a um I've got a lot I know all this gossipy stuff I'm sorry
00:37:20
spill the tea girl listen yes when you I don't know if Dana saw this or listeners
00:37:27
at home you're you're at a this is the one that scared me when you have someone crammed in a suitcase and they're trying
00:37:32
to get out and all these people around and they're saying help and you go you shut the [ __ ] up with anyone is any
00:37:39
obviously people kind of want to help and you tell them to shut up mind their [ __ ] business and I'm like God damn it's just the most weirdest grossest
00:37:46
feeling because people don't know what to do and they think they should kill you they're like I'm here to save a kidnapping yeah and who is in the uh
00:37:53
that was a Russian uh uh what are they
00:37:58
contortionist I think her name was Olga I'm not making that up it wasn't even that rolling a suitcase just for the
00:38:03
people listening roll it's not the best bit in the world but like it's good good
00:38:08
it's the way you play it there's the setup and it's all your acting there's a hand that's that's not all the way
00:38:14
zipped up and we have safe words too I was like Olga when you say popcorn I'm going to let you out she's like I'm fine this is no problem and she's like I I
00:38:21
could be in here for hours I human pretzel what is problem Mr Andre Eric
00:38:27
I'll talk like this for no reason no but then there's a hand and so people are noticing what the [ __ ] and then you're yelling at them which D it's so funny
00:38:34
you're like who's in there and you go you shut the mind your you said it's like a puppet or a toy that oh yeah I
00:38:40
remember be honest with you yeah like excuses it's obviously a real person do you remember the one where
00:38:47
like you're hanging from a no I'm sorry we thought of stuff You' never remember
00:38:52
yeah no I I mean I want to I love this I love that you guys have actually seen it I'm FL sure things that you may you may
00:38:58
want to want to get to well this is kind of interesting would you really think you're banned from SNL because of that
00:39:03
issue oh no I shouldn't have said anything I'm not and I was I was is it
00:39:09
oh it is maybe it's on your Wikipedia page it's in my B I talked to your mom uh no it was it was like a just a
00:39:17
stupid he's not allowed to come to the show for the rest of the year kind of thing with somebody that doesn't work
00:39:22
there anymore and I met the woman that replaced her and she was like that lady you're always welcome to come by anytime
00:39:29
don't worry about that that was like a verying thing I got too drunk before taping I just wanted to come as an
00:39:35
audience member to a taping and I I planned on enjoying a taping it was with
00:39:41
it was Selena Gomez was hosting and post Malone was she was great and I was there
00:39:46
and um I drank Hurrican slurri H did I say that do I say it in the book yeah I
00:39:51
drink curricanes yeah and they're very hurricane just want to know it's rum pastor fruit syrup and lemon but there's
00:39:58
4 o of Jamaican rum in it so they're very boozy and very sweet so you you you knock back one and it's like the
00:40:04
strength of three cocktails in one and it's so sweet where did you have this cocktail downstairs in a bar no I was I
00:40:12
had a screening a bad trip earlier that day we never got to screen the movie because of coid so we did these like one
00:40:20
year anniversary screenings a year after the movie came out when when um you know
00:40:25
life was kind of coming back to normal so we did a screening in LA and a screening in New York so in the afternoon I was like this is the red
00:40:31
carpet celebration I always wanted to have and I I made hurricanes in my green room and we drank I only drank like
00:40:38
three of those things but I got [ __ ] and then you go to SNL and you're still Buzz I went to ham I I was more than
00:40:43
buzzed I went I never throw up from drinking I never ever throw up from drinking and since I was you know in
00:40:49
high school or something and I was uh I was going to throw up and I was like it's better that I just get up and leave
00:40:56
and not throw up in the crowd then throw up in the crowd during her monologue yeah it was like right at the top and I
00:41:02
was like I don't want to vomit here that dead silent and you're stiff and you're try get the CR like the seats are yeah
00:41:08
it's very tight floor seats are you don't realize how tiny it is on on television like the sets and everything
00:41:15
that studio is like it's tightened so I was like I don't want to vomit and I turned my date and I was like I don't
00:41:22
feel great I might throw up I have to get fresh air she's like I'm e we went outside I went to a halal cart on
00:41:28
whatever street 54 Street and I just started wolfing down Halal and then I felt like a million bucks I went home
00:41:34
but uh it was I I did not want to throw up and disrespect or or Lauren a comedy killer
00:41:41
unless it's fake vomit on your show I would love it on live what would you do on live and Selena would have to say
00:41:47
something it was I was far enough back but I was um I was quite inebriated and
00:41:52
I needed to I needed to go home I needed to go home it was time for me to go home question was when you were saying about
00:41:58
SNL you there was some interest but it took was it a little too late like you got on your own show and it was sort of
00:42:04
known as cool well well on my show I had
00:42:09
full creative freedom to do any yeah Sketch or prank or whatever I wanted so
00:42:15
it felt like you did the right thing it would have been lateral at best if I got on would you if they called oh yeah
00:42:22
absolutely you have to say yes any any community that says no is lying yeah um you have to have experience I'm sure
00:42:28
it's incredibly nerve-wracking but um you'd be great cuz you do stand up you're two specials and you you do
00:42:35
sketch and you're willing to do a lot which they love they love if they write and you could probably bring in pre-taped
00:42:41
pranks if you hosted they would they would do that I would love to do you know obviously the monologue and sketches during the the main event but
00:42:49
I'd love to pre-tape pranks around New York like earlier in the week that' be a good idea they because they do pre-tapes
00:42:56
cuz I saw this weekend and there's one or maybe even two and what you used to do as a host you come in on a Monday we
00:43:01
do nothing until Monday night meeting at 6: but I think they pull you and make you shoot Monday now and then maybe even
00:43:08
Tuesday because you don't have to do much as a host on Monday and Tuesday yeah I can't imagine the [ __ ] pressure it's so hard I can't imagine
00:43:15
that pressure it a l why is it live why does why is it live like it's only
00:43:20
making everybody's life so much more stressful well one of the things and I I don't know if anyone had the pressence
00:43:28
to to figure this out embarrassing it is a like gome J it's a sporting event you
00:43:35
know and it's also the fact that it's live I can enjoy it if the show's kind
00:43:40
of tanking and you can see people kind of just not it's not happening yeah especially on the East Coast because
00:43:46
they'll be a little bit of a sweeten for the west coast of course now you can see it on peacock live way I own stock
00:43:51
commcial look look uh peacock where all the good shows live
00:43:57
that's a by line I wrote I get an annuity that anyway it's almost the show that shows Yellowstone but I feel it is
00:44:04
that a different one oh that's fa yeah no Yellowstone has been Rec configurated now is on CBS and getting huge numbers
00:44:12
like crazy numbers oh was there some controversy or something I'm out of the loop they just it's probably a little
00:44:18
cleaned up because it's a dirty there's a lot of violence and some swear words and stuff that's all I I don't like any
00:44:25
swear I don't like any blue humor by the way the name of your book is dumb ideas dumb ideas but you
00:44:33
were about to say something you're were about to say something you said preent and then you like you're oh I think I
00:44:39
just meant that that site live is a defacto reality show you're seeing a football player or an actress try to do
00:44:45
sketch comedy so you're you're struggling with them good or bad right and so that's one compelling as the
00:44:52
other one is when someone comes on there's you got 20 cast members but this new man or woman comes on and they're
00:44:58
this is their big break yeah and you start to noticing them go up the food chain more and more and seeing them
00:45:04
evolve you see the audience start to discover the performer yeah the performer then gets more confident and
00:45:11
you see it with you know Kristen wig David anybody and that that journey is
00:45:17
also very compelling so I don't know if 1975 lawen like we'll have these other lanes it'll be a comedy show we'll have
00:45:23
comedians but we're going to play in these other arenas bands too when I was there we saw n Nirvana Pearl Jam like
00:45:29
when you're on there and you go I can tell these people be big I can't personally but I was told yeah these
00:45:36
guys are good I honestly when Pearl Jam came out the second time now I love them but it takes me forever I'm like Europe it takes about two years to get what
00:45:43
people like yeah and then when they came on I go oh Pearl Jam are you going to do a live that's my favorite and the guys
00:45:49
go we did that last time well here's a here's a triple question for you well
00:45:54
I'm so locked into my my sketches there here's a triple question yeah oh
00:45:59
[ __ ] love a triple question as a consumer as an artist you uh musically film television anything you watch or
00:46:06
see or read you're actually what you find most attractive in a woman in terms
00:46:12
of her personality and what is do you have a type um is it I don't think this is a triple
00:46:20
question think of a third one but I didn't want to go political um uh uh
00:46:26
yeah uh all my answers are hack for that question good always what do you like
00:46:32
you don't personality do you my my therapist would be very proud for
00:46:38
me to say my therapist that you really have a therapist yeah several I have
00:46:43
several my therapist said a great thing they said
00:46:50
uh they can be physically attractive but it can't be the first thing
00:46:56
it's got to be like the fourth thing if it's the fourth thing and they have
00:47:01
three other qualities that are higher in the ranking that's better if humor sense
00:47:08
of humor yeah that's I was going to say it sounds very hack but it's true because tells you if somebody's
00:47:13
intelligent it tells you their worldview it tells you if they're on the same wavelength as you if your sense of humor
00:47:20
is on is is is matching that's it's it's tell telling you green flags for all
00:47:25
these other quality specifically if it's like it's sort of when girls say I like a sense of humor girls it's or women
00:47:32
whatever can I I can't say girls anymore I say boys though yeah boys but but for women if say sense of humor the rock is
00:47:39
a really cool boy it's like saying it's like saying I like music it's a little
00:47:44
vague so you say what kind of sense of humor and if it jiv with yours then it's a big hit you know like
00:47:50
there's people that think I'm funny and people that think I'm don't funny so I'm not funny so if you see someone and then
00:47:55
it sort of you it's on the same wavelength that means a lot that's a big thing you're right and the look is
00:48:00
always in there but LS don't last longer than three months therapist is asking
00:48:06
you to take the feminine position because I think these are generic stereotypes in a way but women are have
00:48:12
a wider bandwidth of what they can find attractive and sense of humor ambition
00:48:17
drive all person how they treat their friends men are like cavem men's so your your therapist trying to get you to the
00:48:24
looks being that fourth so then it's going to be about how are they with their so they have friends this this
00:48:31
woman how are they with their family you know all these different things yeah how are they to a waiter how are they to uh
00:48:39
how are they to an Uber driver yeah little things yeah yeah I talked to they rude to an Uber driver is a red flag was
00:48:46
dating somebody and the headphones didn't work on the on the jet I guess it was a prop and the guy flipped out the
00:48:53
[ __ ] man I can't even [ __ ] th and threw against the the plane who was this
00:48:58
just someone I it was just a red flag of someone if you have someone like their cocktails not perfectly done at the rest
00:49:04
of the first date like what the [ __ ] man God damn it it's too much for Mo yeah
00:49:10
yeah yeah yeah if they're like a white loadest character then it's a red it's you want chill I know men at this point
00:49:17
women have their whole story but it's if this a guy podcast you know what else is goodal General disposition because
00:49:23
sometimes and demeanor is if there's some people you're also you every time you see them you go I got to try to get
00:49:29
them up like they're kind of down or they're kind of in a bad mood they're kind of gry and you're trying to go hey
00:49:35
and you don't want to set them off I mean not set them off like it's that itchy but just some people are just
00:49:41
light you don't want exactly you don't want to feel like you're walking in eggshells you want somebody has the
00:49:48
emotional regulation game down down pat a little bit uh a chill person because
00:49:54
uh
00:50:00
yeah have you had a you're a young man have you had a a relationship that
00:50:06
lasted a few years were you the longest I've gone is a year and a half that's that's that's fine I know I
00:50:13
know a celebrity that doesn't want me to mention the long as he this
00:50:20
celebrity I'm like that though I I I I I know a celebrity that can only go 30 days that I'm working on it 30 days is
00:50:27
the longest he can go really yeah really days some would say that an avoidant I
00:50:32
say his name again I could James Earl Jones damn it
00:50:38
Neil why no I can't call Jimmy for Thanksgiving now tutu no it's so that's fine but uh
00:50:47
uh uh there is a shift occurring I'm having my uh I just turned 40 I'm having
00:50:54
my midlife crisis shift in my priorities I was very
00:50:59
focused on making whatever type of Comedy that I've been trying to do work
00:51:05
for and it takes 20 [ __ ] years it just it's hard and I have like a very specific nuanced um comedic POV and
00:51:14
Sensibility so it's not for everybody and it's not um a normal or
00:51:21
mainstream uh point of view so it took me a very very long time I'm still
00:51:26
figuring it out but I feel like it's on its feet a little bit more than it was 10 years ago or 20 years ago and I have
00:51:32
somewhat of a body of work to show like hey this is what I'm I'm trying to do but it it took two decades so now that
00:51:39
it's somewhat on its feet green but but you're you're famous
00:51:45
you have a you have a brand you have a lane like people know about you they're where they know something there there's
00:51:50
body work I can point to now where now I'm like what else is Life about out um
00:51:56
and I don't think just money or career is a wealth I think love is a wealth and love life is a wealth so now I'm like oh
00:52:03
maybe there's other aspects of my adult life that I could um nourish and before
00:52:11
the first uh 20 years of my career 20 to 40 I was just like hey you're hot and
00:52:16
you're paying attention to me let's make out for a year and then I'd be like uh I'm not really thinking about it more
00:52:24
threedimensional and now through an IMM amount of therapy as a child of divorce I am uh thinking
00:52:31
about it more three-dimensionally and realizing that um uh an amazing woman in
00:52:37
your life can bring a lot of balance I was going to say we're balanced not even a big word but you know you got your
00:52:45
Show Business lane and then if it's all about that lane and the balloon gets a little deflated for a couple years you
00:52:51
know you're not a shiny object anymore you want to come home oh I think it would be um a nourishing for my life if
00:53:00
I came home to my best friend every day and I could vent to her or and we could
00:53:05
share experiences together um but the first 20 years of my adult life in the
00:53:11
workforce I was just like let's make out and hump it's all right you know like Lauren Michael said once there's
00:53:17
something about a man in his 40s and a woman in her 20s you that is a link that
00:53:23
is a link I feel like I feel like establisher which is a horrible way to start sent but like I do feel like the
00:53:29
gal on a date now where I'm like I'm like now what are you looking for on on
00:53:35
a first date whereas in my 20s I would just be like you're you're hot check this out am I making you
00:53:41
laugh and girls are like shut the [ __ ] up all right let's make out um girls
00:53:47
piss me mostly to stop me from talking I agre they said they take you like shut
00:53:54
up and kiss me just go shut up and kiss me it's not romantic it's literally shut up anything to stop now are you going to
00:54:00
settle down well I was hearing you and I was getting your free what's the longest
00:54:06
therapy longest relationship you've ever done um three table dances in a row that was my old
00:54:11
answer that was from my special a perfect answer that was from an old no but um I'm I hear you yeah I get
00:54:20
it too and there's I I'm a child of divorce so I never even try to look too that deep into it but yeah there's
00:54:25
definitely some uh the red flag store has gone out of business over here so it's just it's just you say it's an
00:54:32
avoidant attachment style my therapist also was like don't pathologize yourself too much
00:54:37
just you'll we'll figure it out I also don't believe in societal Norms right
00:54:43
always being like the answer for everybody and each person is their own universe and whatever makes you happy
00:54:49
makes you happy so I agree to that some people want marriage and children some people want
00:54:55
no marriage some people want children with no marriage some people want marriage with no children so you know
00:55:01
all I was show and he's apologetic going you know people are mad at Bill Maher because it as a wife and a kid I go I'm
00:55:07
not mad at you I don't care at all what do you mean you have to live like me yeah but I think it's still that's the
00:55:14
prevalent is that a word prevalent yeah is it the prevalent um I can't continue after I say it cuz I don't know what it
00:55:20
means but you know people have the wife and kids and the family every movie is
00:55:26
family in every movie he like well you have family when you come home and if you're watching those movies and you don't have a family come it those those
00:55:31
bother people too you can't just say oh and at the end of the movie they get back together and then they have the
00:55:37
kids and then they're all in the same house and you go I know that's what everyone's saying but I don't know if
00:55:42
everyone is exactly that anymore it's very modern family well the birth rate is not being replaced in the western
00:55:50
world I mean we're not at replacement at least us Irish Norwegian are not
00:55:55
replacing ourselves in America right now because a lot of the there's no money all there's 77 trillion with my tribe
00:56:02
the Baby Boomers we have all the money we paid all the debts all went to us and so the kids are coming up young people
00:56:09
trying to buy a house the home ownerships way down the you know what I would pay 300 for apartment in the 70s
00:56:17
now is like 4500 so there is all that too it's hard it takes money to have a family and kids
00:56:24
are yes and I like um sleeping in I like traveling and I like um only
00:56:32
spending my my extra shekels on myself selfishly if I I think of like oh I want
00:56:38
to take a trip to what whatever I want to go to Paris if I was like I want to go to Paris but I have to pay for my
00:56:44
wife and my three kids like [ __ ] you guys dragging me down it kind of hurt my pockets right yeah I wouldn't be in a
00:56:51
hurry I know a lot of dads who started their family and their 50s I that too
00:56:56
that's more common thanone worri testosterone goes down and
00:57:02
then someone like a Clooney or Warren batty can go okay I had 7,000 girlfriends now I can lock in yeah
00:57:08
Warren batty was like Will Chamberlain right was he was [ __ ] wild Johnny
00:57:14
Carson too wasn't he like Johnny Johnny I heard he humped around sing extra
00:57:19
every year really oh yeah yeah let's do Let's do poers let's do poppers night
00:57:25
right before serious no I heard he had to have sex with five women a night or something like
00:57:31
insane I de I knew someone who was his girlfriend when he was like she was like
00:57:38
30 and he was like 64 and they'd be at a party and he'd be hitting on someone over by the stairwell so you do these
00:57:45
pompers and uh well if you different it would be more normal
00:57:51
what's that if you were divorced twice by now it would be more normal that's the other lot of my friends my age late
00:57:57
30s early 40s are all not all going through divorce but a [ __ ] ton of my friends are going through divorce right
00:58:03
so that I was like I'm a child of divorc and I'm traumatized I was from my parents divorce I got they got divorced
00:58:10
when I was like 11 turning 12 which is an awkward age so uh I was always worried about that I was like H I don't
00:58:15
want to get married break up with someone or have a kid and then have to tell my have to do what my parents did
00:58:22
to my parents were are very uh beautiful and loving but um how old
00:58:28
were you I was like 11 turning 12 super awkward 6 grade yeah it's a weird and my
00:58:34
parents didn't communicate well like um they didn't really tell me properly what
00:58:39
was going on my dad was just like uh I'm going to live somewhere else for a little bit and I was like okay that's weird but and then I had to put the
00:58:46
pieces together I was like are you guys getting divorced and they were like uh yeah and I was like what so um uh it's
00:58:55
hard uh uh uh uh well we could end on that down what else is going on wait a
00:59:02
minute to some give me a 10 hour energy I had therapy I started at 60 and
00:59:08
I went for five years I got it a little too late really I've been doing the fact that you're doing it now before these
00:59:14
other Life Choices I started when I was 25 and when I right when I started therapy I was like I wish I was doing
00:59:20
this since I was 10 I was like I wish right at the divorce would have been helped probably yes yes immensely my dad
00:59:28
was a psychiatrist who never went to therapy and my dad just passed away like a year ago but like when I was Drive I
00:59:35
was on the phone with him a few hours ago and I was like Dad I got to go I'm pulling up to my therapist and he was like therapy those people just tell you
00:59:42
what you want to hear I was like aren't you a [ __ ] psychiatrist don't you work with therapists don't you work in
00:59:48
the mental health feel he was a strange he's a strange that's what people would say to me when I went they my brothers
00:59:54
would go they did she fix you did she fix you my mom said the best thing my mom who needs therapy more than who's in
01:00:00
the book a lot too with her emails and stuff she go I go ma same thing I go ma I got to go I'm going to therapy and she
01:00:05
went therapy okay Mr California and I was like she thought it was like a new
01:00:11
AG I was like no one on earth needs therapy more than you mom she's like no
01:00:17
I tried therapy once when grandma died and the guy was just like e try anti-depressants and I was like no I'm
01:00:22
not doing that so I was like I say I'm I'm going to my astrologist now she's
01:00:27
like that is [ __ ] now people get I like when uh
01:00:33
women ask you what when were you born yeah weird how old am I they go no just
01:00:39
when what time and where and I go uhoh that's my red flag I go no and she's like yeah let me just check the moons
01:00:45
and everything and I'll get back to you and I go if it's predicated on that I'm yeah I will say women are quite
01:00:52
into astrology if you meet if you're have a crush on a gal that is
01:00:57
not into astrology I would marry her CU she is a diamond the one the one past
01:01:03
that is my psychic told me I go oh boy go back to the astrologist yeah yeah astrologist is based on something but
01:01:10
they do say and I I actually believe some psychics work but I I don't know if that's the one they're hitting you know just too much of a crap shoot yeah yeah
01:01:17
yeah so wait are you are you married oh yeah for 40 years you've married for 40 years yeah so if you split she are like
01:01:24
the opposite yeah we both years we're the opposite amti it and yet we're very
01:01:29
good you going to get married at the end of this year soon yeah is that did you see my psychic no uh I'm a little late
01:01:37
to the game but I am trying to struggle through life so uh I do I'm I am aware
01:01:42
of my craziness so is it fixed yet no my wife and I if she'll come in from the
01:01:48
store and then I'm going to go to the store she'll she'll she'll come with me
01:01:53
to the store so we can hang out uhhuh wow so this is going good I guess he wins that round you
01:02:00
know a little bit must be nice I know Jesus I just say guys I mean you know
01:02:06
I'm content right now with my life you have dark you there's it's like this
01:02:11
elliptical thing of the Sun goes behind the moon you have years where you're not some years you're not really connecting
01:02:17
yeah it's when you don't leave after that and you kind of go God we're in a ditch and then it starts to come around
01:02:23
again and you're like it's all that good again so a lot of people pull a rip cord on the first time like I
01:02:29
don't like this person I'm not attracted to this person yeah milon that's me the first
01:02:36
slump post like ah is this when the bad weren't ready you you know you may not
01:02:42
find you may never get married but you weren't ready you're so career- driven would it would have been a very special kind of person friends with with I try
01:02:50
to stay friends because sometimes that's even harder you find someone you actually like to hang out with and you
01:02:57
know if it doesn't work and and they stay in your life over time you start to go this person is more right than I thought because you see them mad sad the
01:03:04
way they handle different things in life and you go I can handle that I can handle that temperament I can and you start to go there's more of a growing
01:03:11
attraction over time in a weird way and some you just go we weren't right for each other and I'm I listen I did the
01:03:17
same thing divorce now was four dad took off uh stepdad and then stepdad killed
01:03:23
himself there's so many weird CRA is that why you're a comedian you think I think it might be I'm a comedian
01:03:29
also just trying to make money and just make me kn knowing it wasn't coming from anywhere yeah there's no like Rich
01:03:35
friend or Rich relative so we just were sort of scraping but it's no like poor
01:03:41
me it's just everyone's had rough rough stories growing up but I do have to look you know you look at it how it fits into
01:03:48
the whole picture and you go okay there's some crazy in there that obviously came from certain things so
01:03:54
try to analyze it and then um you know watch porn whatever most people
01:04:00
do porn is watch por film your own porn every once in a while I'll just look at it for then I'm like it's bad when you
01:04:07
got to up the stakes that's when you got to get out you gotta go uhuh I'm not going to squirter I'm not you're not
01:04:13
going to uh I don't click on it little I one time my friend was like dude I
01:04:18
jacked off to anime like Japanese animation he goes I jacked off to anime we're in high school we're like 18 years
01:04:24
old Jesus he goes I jerked off to anime and all my friends we all start making fun of them we're like ah you're a
01:04:29
[ __ ] weirdo loser and then like 24 hours later we were all like oh I tried
01:04:34
watch the anime we all like anime is doing it for you guys is that cartoons it was a short
01:04:43
ITI there's no fetish but I love that guys are always like e you jerked off to
01:04:49
the weird obscure thing and then like an hour later we're like maybe we should Che may just out check it out all right
01:04:56
let's go on that one I like porn jokes thank you I want to get back in a ditch where we're really deed we were did I
01:05:03
impress you with my wife going to the store with me was that kind of I like that was impressive depressive for you guys no no
01:05:11
no it's interesting you guys both picked two
01:05:16
specific I don't even know different but two very specific paths with love life
01:05:23
with with me here's this what I could ask there's pros and cons to everything right there's and you just decide you
01:05:29
double down for each other it's after you no after you we did a personality test across the kitchen table last year
01:05:35
and we both came out helper so we're just were your parents married all the way to the end I I had a really rough
01:05:42
childhood he so did he my dad was a piece of work yeah okay let's end the
01:05:47
podcast right now God we just keep slumping back down oh Jesus Christ I can't talk politics with you cuz you
01:05:54
know no [ __ ] no he he was he was an orphan and he had he had his issues um
01:06:00
narcissism running around my mom made me her surrogate husband there were five kids so I was car I was responsible for
01:06:07
her like David was for his mom and there's just a lot of responsibility there and a lot of Cruelty and weirdness
01:06:14
but five kids in the 60s a lot of Independence yeah yeah but you know most comedians have kind of a um a little bit
01:06:21
of an edge to them I would say we're not normal Christ sakes be okay
01:06:27
we're not all normal in the brain pan you know we've been through the gauntlet a couple by a car once Eric was our
01:06:33
guest just keeps getting worse Eric Andre is I don't think this is depressing to talk about human Stu I
01:06:40
think it's good to talk about I think it's uh it's fun to talk about fun to hear we're all crazy in different ways
01:06:46
we've seen ER with your stuff you're doing and by the way the special I thought as I was watching it your last
01:06:51
special you were deconstructing the idea of a standup while you're doing standup oh wow thank you that's what I felt
01:06:58
because I was like oh he's completely having fun with the whole idea here's the funny guy you dive in your K I seen
01:07:06
a guy in the audience yeah yeah I sweat all over that but I do think it's good to talk about this cuz we they know we're funny I mean your specials out
01:07:12
what's the name of your special nothing personal oh okay cuz many times you couldn't remember is it on
01:07:19
peacock no it's on I just wanted to plug peacock one more time instagr it's blow
01:07:24
which is a cross between tubo and it's on Pluto TV it's on Alibaba it's on babo
01:07:30
yeah it's a niche network uh that you can't get with a conventional
01:07:35
television it was a smash he's putting butts in the seats let me tell you that
01:07:41
when he's out on the road it's good it's good to talk to him I learn way more about you a lot of fun to have a normal
01:07:47
conversation if this if this was normal I think it was normal I think which really I think it was very normal normal
01:07:52
as America is this on in America we haven't got
01:07:57
that coverage yet we're we're actually big in who told you that Lithuania Iran is our biggest audience this is being
01:08:04
dropped on Ukraine as a gift that's what I thought that's what I figured Biden is our biggest fan yeah it's good as the
01:08:11
best podcast say to do uh all right thanks bud thank you appreciate it okay
01:08:16
sounds good you know the the late great Louis CK had a has a joke he's not he's
01:08:22
he's not dead this has been a podcast presentation of
01:08:27
cadence 13 please listen then rate review and follow all episodes available
01:08:33
now for free wherever you get your podcast no joke folks flying the wall has been a
01:08:39
presentation of cadence 13 executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Chris Corran of cadence 13 and Charlie
01:08:46
finan of brillstein entertainment the show's lead producers Greg Holzman with production and Engineering support from
01:08:51
Serena Regan and Chris Basil of CAD
01:09:00
13
