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[Music] I can't do the third shift of hot dogs I
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used to have like a couple the beginning a couple five innings later now I can't
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eating clock what you eat four hot dogs in a game you fat ass Jesus Dodger dogs
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are 2 feet long the game means nothing it's all about the relish and the it's
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settling in and eating that's the beauty and you probably have a waitress well that's the best place to have a hot dog
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is a baseball [Music]
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game hey Dana what's up welcome to Superfly mhm I'm getting a haircut later
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today oh you are that's the lead just
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Shaggy it's just a little bit much I need more face less hair you know if if
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the hair is too bonty then you know so anyway I know it's exciting for the people listen
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no listen I suffer a little Buffon ISM now and then but right now mine's sort of scraped back my room is a hair darker
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than yours so save at YouTube we don't want to hear that uh and also I did I do
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take sips of water sometime and I actually hate it myself to see it so I'm sorry people watching but sorry I'm just
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trying to live no I think that's that's a good thing no I just um so I went to
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the dentist okay and usually at some point when I go to the dentist to the doctor
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the dentist of the doctor will say wow at some point where they're checking me
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out or doing Diagnostics they say wowan something's wrong or something that scares you something's blowing their
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mind so I I went to this guy before and he did a Diagnostics on my teeth and then I went in to get a crown which you
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know is kind of you're like the King for a Day sure and you know I said you're
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going to say wow at some point today he goes oh come on don't be silly so they numb you and
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then I swear to God the drill was doing Beethoven's
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fifth or it was sounding like it was crying like I've stopped the drill so
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anyway then under his breath at one point after he got down got the all that stuff out he goes wow so then he
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announces to me you got two nerve endings down there I can't put a crown on it they it's all 3D you can see the
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two it looks all shiny and ready I can see him hanging out of your mouth right now it's all look like ropes right back
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here and so so he says there's two uh nerve
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endings full of bacteria that are about to explode so you you need a root canal
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stat so today after this I'm going to get a root canal I don't quite know what
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they do but I know they numb it up pretty good so that's exciting [ __ ] sucks whatever it is I don't think I've
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had one oh you've had I I don't think I've had [ __ ] I've had I mean my teeth
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aren't great but they're kind of uh at least they they're working right now but
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I don't have tons I used to have those silver fillings more boring stories but they found out those uh are bad for you
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whatever so they jacked them it's another scam the dentist go let's say they're good for you and then let's say
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they got to take them out they get paid both ways got you coming and going Christ and yeah no you look good but
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smile big I'm not really about my teeth I kind of have buck tooth well here to to my
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why my stuff's not so great so I was had buck teeth I was going to be called Bucky and so they said you got to get
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braces parents at first couldn't afford the bottom so the guy literally said to me I'm sure I've said this on the
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podcast can you just push on get a habit of pushing on this tooth to push it back
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because we can't afford the bottom finally my parents you know five kid K teacher Sal scraped together got the
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braces but first they said but first let's pull four of your teeth two up
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here and two here so that's why I have a small mouth and a little like this otherwise it'd be like fantastic and
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then I got shitty braces by the time I never brushed or flossed I don't know how you floss with braces I had head
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gear I when they came off I had like seven cavities and from then on I've had to take care of my teeth but luckily for
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full corns in there aren't even chewed jammed no but how do you how do you
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brush how do you I I had braces it's horrible I had the kind you hit on with a little Hammer you probably had that too like a rubber Hammer no wonder my
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neck's [ __ ] up and then they never they never take them off and then they had the the rubber bands which are
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horrible yeah those and the head the head thing the head GE with the head gear which was hard the yeah I had a key
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in there on a retainer during SNL to open the upper pallet oh had it later in
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life I'm I I had them early and then they like we bought you cuz my mom got it like out of the Yellow Pages it was
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like get braces and a free balloon it was probably $100 so we had no money so I get these shitty braces my teeth were
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like this and then they go we got to get four wisdom teeth out they took them out and this will make you [ __ ] puke I
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did but when I I I come home like this way too much everything you know as a kid you've never had even aspirant I
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haven't had anything and so I come home like hello dark and then they go go to sleep and I had four impacted so they're
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all smashed with gauze they go change your gauze so the mill night I get Mill
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go I throw it in the sink I put new ones in and the next day I'm bleeding so much I'm sick she runs me down there there go
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he almost died he pulled all of his stitches out in the middle of the night you did I ripped everything out I had to
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go do it again cuz you were I just went my mouth and went sick sickening
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pable so I would have gotten hooked on uh Viking in that I didn't have time
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though but um I did get aspirin and then I whatever U and I didn't have any pain
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pills yeah Advil now I take a lot I don't like I just I don't like general anesthesia I said just numb me up and
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they go do you do gas no I just do the the shots and they go you and it's like
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this is a joke I used to do on stage you go a dentist having sex all right you're going to feel a little prick um sorry
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that's all I got and then maybe some little balls I don't know you know when you're starting out
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kids you know you're just anything that gets a laugh you're not thinking what your peers think but no I I don't I will
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tell you I had an adventure plus I hope you're okay today because we need this thing to keep going oh it's going to be
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fine it's Modern Dentistry much if you need a ride let me know um all right oh you do I'll hit you
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yeah and I I want to sit in the back cuz I get car sick after dental work so I want to look like You're My Chauffeur
00:07:04
driving me through West Hollywood and just having people to honk and go look I guess Dana hires David's pay to be his
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driver yeah yeah yeah things have really Swift you go like here's you I'm driving and then I'll just film you like this
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and then I'll ask you questions and watch you go oh like they do on Tik Tok
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modern downst stre is no big deal don't worry about it I did get a cavity once where I didn't do the numbing and I
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wouldn't do that again that was hard [ __ ] that wouldn't even cross my mind idiot all right so here I am this weekend I went down finally get to golf
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because I did six or seven weekends on the road straight it it is a bit of a grind but
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what do you do with all that money okay go I have Atlantic City coming up in a week I have Reno and I have Sacramento
00:07:50
okay so but those are fun those are just like fun ones and and a maybe a corporate but so here I am I get to golf
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it's finally decent weather so I'm in Newport mhm I'm out there anyway there's
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helicopters which aren't always on the golf course the golf course is kind of by the water so that's the nice uh
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proximity of it all so anyway they're so high they're so close that you're like okay move I don't know what's going on
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and we're getting mad because it's so loud you know whatever over over over for maybe 10 minutes 15 minutes and
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that's not usually the idea of the golf course is to keep it quiet quiet so then I leave and I see a couple of cops when
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I'm checking out and I drive by them and I go hey what was going on with those helicopters they go oh we had a boatload
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of migrants come on the beach and they all ran and they ran on the golf course
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so what they're all chasing and it's a whole thing going on around us and I was
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like who is our caddy no I'm kidding but um someone threw on overalls and jumped
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in but uh they running you see you see them running you see them no they were on the
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course next to us they were running all over and that was all the stuff oh it was yeah but they by the way I would
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have grabbed a cop and said give me that free phone and give me that stuff and let me get out of out of your way because why why are you running so they
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just come right on the beach and they go this happens sometimes and I go where'd they go and they go I don't know well
00:09:26
that blows open the whole idea we got to close the border now we got we should close the beaches first you have to
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close come in and point meoo or something there storming point
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mooo a blabby perfect is yeah listen it
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was just sort of uh it was sort of funny to me because I thought these these
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Keystone Cops are spinning around and everyone's running around but we don't know anything I wish we would have known at the time would I be scared I don't
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know if I would be scared but just thought it would be I would help I think they they're probably just desperate to
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meld into the population if it's like the Great Escape with Steve McQueen or you know it's like they just want to get
00:10:11
past everything and meld into you know guy runs up to me neita fourth we're like oh sure I'm gonna play through he
00:10:18
grabs a club he he shoots a 62 you know and he's really good and it's a movie
00:10:23
because he's so good yeah he's just a natural I can't do the accent but whatever accent it would be but by the
00:10:29
way only 25% of people uh of Mexican or Heritage are coming across the border
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75% is from other countries just a fun fact for our listeners that's a longer
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hike though I I would think Mexico because it's right there right I don't
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know it's not Canadian is it we're going to take them out we're going to Depot 300 million people we're g excuse me sir
00:10:55
you're going too you're going to get caught up in the net just grab you accidentally I just I the Rhythm I love of of trump and I've
00:11:02
been doing it but when I see him do it it when he goes to the gruff thing it's such a funny thing he's just talking
00:11:08
like this and a lot of people said but do it and then he sees the energies going down a little bit in the stadium
00:11:14
and do that so hard and you kind of lean in when he
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does that so but you know Biden's Biden's my guy right now he's my guy so
00:11:26
yeah also okay so in the news I saw that Tom Brady uh you know his ex-wife is
00:11:31
Jazelle I don't know did you know this Jazelle she's a supermodel they call them supermodels now and a super model
00:11:40
better than a regular model um so so she she gets she's pregnant with the um
00:11:48
karate instructor or martial arts instructor his whole life is just you're the karate guy yeah so uh they they go
00:11:56
off and they I like that they keep saying she's going to raise the the baby in her $ 11.5 million home they don't
00:12:02
just say she a nice house 11.5 well why wouldn't they round it up to 12 Milli
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they should do something it's it's actually just homework for my brain I don't need to it's so much it's so much
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millions of house okay so for people who just came in from Mars Tom Brady was was
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married to Jazelle bunin who's a supermodel for decades she's still
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gorgeous in great shape and she's everyone's gorgeous inol in this photo but in this marriage uh and you know
00:12:32
what the two dots over the U and her name are called do you know Dana they're called a thing like a
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semicolon or something they're called an oops Salon I think okay so YouTube
00:12:44
comments wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong uh okay but then Tom Brady
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posts this Instagram the next day can the child within my heart rise
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above okay why well I get go ahead go ahead what well well because just human
00:13:02
male female forget this Trio of dandies these boots just think of the human
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thing of being uh in instinctually even proprietory over an ex in some ways
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there's left vestigal feelings about that so ftig vestigal leftover feelings
00:13:22
yes Scottdale Community College gets dominated by college SEL so the point
00:13:28
would be Tom Tom Brady is asking
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himself can he just be magnanimous be happy for them be a good stepdad or
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whatever to the child he's that or he can be Petty uh reflexively jealous uh
00:13:50
not wishing them well these are like just just human things that he he's trying to rise above your take that's my
00:13:57
hot take Jesus you got a lot from two people are driving around can the child within my heart rise above question mark
00:14:04
three hearts there's three people involved the chop chop guy oh I didn't
00:14:09
notice that Jazelle and Tom well is it those three or what about
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the karate guy is that four well I put I put Chop Chop guy okay we
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call no he's he's a jiujitsu champion Haya guy mhm yeah Haya do people still
00:14:29
say hi okay so it's that and it's also um but now he has a he has a kid with
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Bridget Monahan correct and then two with gazelle I I I'm ashamed to to
00:14:42
report that I know no I'm ashamed that I know what am I should be reading history
00:14:48
books yes so that and then so there's another kid and this is from Landslide
00:14:55
mhm the song mhm right yeah can you put your best fo forward How does it go and
00:15:02
if I see what if the next Instragram is and if I see my
00:15:08
reflection s covered Hill see my reflection reflection I'm doing Bruce
00:15:14
Springstein As Stevie Nicks yeah J Stevie Springstein and I see my
00:15:20
reflection I'm Bruce Springstein and I not a billionaire he announced this week that he's not a
00:15:26
billionaire he did spend too much money to be a billionaire I am officially not
00:15:32
a billionaire on what those same Levis he's worn for no he sold his catalog
00:15:38
good for him for a half billion but there's taxes fine he's fine he's fine
00:15:43
I'm not worried about him there's a guy playing him now from the bear and uh I know does he look enough
00:15:50
like him I guess it's sort of just it's not
00:15:55
supposed to be these a lot of these biopics you don't say I just want the essence of the guy I don't want well if
00:16:01
he's playing young Springsteen when springen really got built himself up you
00:16:07
know with a tank top really put on a lot of mus gu jacked and he Jeremy Allen why
00:16:13
is that his name yeah he's pretty built up but yeah who can I mean Timothy shalam is playing Bob Dylan I saw the
00:16:21
trailer and I think he'll be good at that um I listen as long as they're good-looking people everyone's going to
00:16:27
go that's all that matters really to me well Timothy is a little bit closer to Bob Dylan in a sense of sort of I don't
00:16:34
baby face or whatever just sh kind yeah
00:16:40
[Music]
00:16:46
lean now Danny you've heard the song I can't eat another hero right or the song
00:16:53
We Don't Need Another Hero yeah but here we do here we do on
00:16:59
the podcast because herob breed is kind of what you've all been waiting for at
00:17:05
least I have where I don't want to cut out bread I don't want to stop eating rolls I can't take it I want them that's
00:17:12
all I care about in life and now because those aren't as good for you right give
00:17:18
us a better bread that's still good and cut that stuff out yeah and what do you
00:17:23
got you got hero hero bread so it's basically zero to one grams of net carbs
00:17:28
zero grams of sugar lots of fiber so like during the holidays you know you can really go crazy with the bread you
00:17:35
got grilled cheese cozy pumpkin soup buttery Hawaiian rolls with the family
00:17:40
dinner French toast cassero around the holidays but now with hero it doesn't it's guilt-free in a sense because it's
00:17:47
low carb low sugar high in fiber but tastes amazing M yeah what what do you want I mean you still get to eat bread a
00:17:54
lot of people just don't eat bread at all they just have to cut it out but if you could have it again mhm and it's not
00:18:00
bad for you it's actually good for you then you got the low carbs you got the fiber so it's a plus I mean there's
00:18:07
really no reason not to try it out the people from herob breed did a lot to uh
00:18:13
give it texture make it fluffier um you know taste and be like regular bread
00:18:19
that's full of sugar and carbohydrates uh so it's kind of like I'm going to say it a win-win yeah it's
00:18:27
a strong statement but yeah and you know also I eat croissants on the road sometimes because toast gets too squishy
00:18:32
when they if I if I did ever a room service or something but they're coming out with croissants and they got some
00:18:38
new surprises coming out so herob bre is offering 10% off your order of their new recipe go to
00:18:45
hero. use the code Superfly at the checkout that's Superfly H
00:18:52
O.co the Menendez brothers and I will safely say I haven't followed the whole
00:18:57
all I've heard is they might be out by Thanksgiving so when are they hosting the show after Thanksgiving yes
00:19:04
and when will How long after they step outside the prison will they be on
00:19:10
Church chat on Sat Night Live oh yeah that's a good one well well well we did
00:19:15
a naughty thing Jesus doesn't like what we did with our parents now we're out you know yeah it writes itself oh yeah
00:19:23
fting them on church if they don't host somehow if they're somehow not hosting will they it will be played by who you
00:19:31
know what look at guy on the right because uh Mikey day is pretty lean and
00:19:37
there he he could definitely play at man menendez's brother that's not offensive
00:19:42
to Mikey but I could see I think I could see him yeah they're kind of lean uh fit
00:19:48
you know um I do think off the top of my head that the guy on the left Eric would
00:19:56
be played by um Colin joose I don't know
00:20:01
who's well you might have to put the host in there who's the host well Eric and Lyall are not the host they're just
00:20:07
guess now their guess if they turn it down they probably could pop up would it
00:20:13
be a controversy if they come on no I mean they serve their time they're for whatever reason they're being they're
00:20:19
being let out and they promised not to um kill
00:20:25
anyone there yeah they there they said what we did before we're not going to do
00:20:30
again judge and he said case this we realized everyone got mad about it so
00:20:35
yeah and our but would would people get mad if they came on SNL and you understand it would be a great thing for
00:20:42
SNL be fun but with people at home which hey it's controversy did okay Pop Quiz
00:20:49
did OJ ever come on SNL of course he was never
00:20:54
convicted right so he could have come on was convicted for the wrong thing that I
00:20:59
would have gotten mad about someone stole his stuff and then he wanted it back but that's he did a real no no both
00:21:05
you know combined the some of the parts did Ted Bundy ever did Ted bunde ever do
00:21:12
a guest spot on hehaa he is [ __ ] big for people don't
00:21:19
know yeah a western Satur Night Live or Western laughing basically yeah Western
00:21:25
sketches and I remember Bernie Burstein going cuz he produced it didn't he yeah and he goes they take heha money just as
00:21:33
they take any other kind of money in London you know money's money it doesn't doesn't matter you know because people
00:21:39
look down their noses at heha oh yeah compared to you know whatever show s
00:21:45
Bernie did Al Al also right a puppet makes money rule number two no we love
00:21:50
Bernie but Bernie was oldtime Show Business to us Muppets puppets any sort
00:21:56
of Muppets actually we have a show called The upet
00:22:01
they can be a Muppet or a puppet and they come all bases it's all funny uh
00:22:07
okay let's do more headlines because we've got a guest today so we got a couple more we got to get to our guest
00:22:14
oh yeah why are we
00:22:19
what oh who wants to know that oh oh we're talking about
00:22:26
trick-or-treating well unfortunately we take this the second before Halloween happened so this is uh costumes I
00:22:34
thought were funny I saw this is a uh person dressed as a foot a foot in a in a in a foot so for
00:22:43
those of you at home there don't know there a foot in a thong is that what are
00:22:48
those called those shoes a thong shoe a thong shoe now not the undergarment yes
00:22:55
and that's it they have a big red toe and it's little crooked is a g string different than a thong
00:23:01
Heather no but those are Beach thongs they're called thongs as well as under these are
00:23:09
they used to be called something else that we can't say anymore but they're called flip flops let's say oh they're called flip flops now it's a guy dressed
00:23:17
in a flipflop standing up in a flipflop painting his it's too hard to describe
00:23:22
it's funny though I think it's funny horrible costume to walk around in horrible I'll announce the the best
00:23:28
costume my brother my older brother in New York went to a costume party like this and so what he did was he just put
00:23:34
all these with rope or whatever put mirrors all over his whole body and all around him and he and people would say
00:23:41
who are you going as and he says I'm going as you because they would see their
00:23:47
reflection I can see my reflection in the other guy costume okay okay here's
00:23:55
one this is the Olympic pole Walter and that that's the costume you got it I think
00:24:01
the hard part about this is a you can't get a rod because the pole will fall but
00:24:07
also the pole he made it just long enough where it's a hassle but it's not totally debilitating to bump in the
00:24:13
people right it might be funnier if it was 10 foot across yeah you know like
00:24:18
the real pull out there um I would just go I would be the poter in the pit and
00:24:25
just have wheels on top of the pit and just roll around as poal when they land in the
00:24:30
pit you just want to be the pit well look I mean there is no more like well
00:24:35
look look there's no more sexual sport in high school guess who got the girls
00:24:41
the poters they're going down the runway they're very fast very muscular they've
00:24:46
got this long phallic pole they plant it then they climax over the bar and
00:24:53
land in a bed I mean it's really it shouldn't be allow l in should it's so perverted
00:25:01
now you should have the church lady talk about how bad the Olympics is we like to take our pull we
00:25:08
grip it what are you for Halloween this year skeletons in the closet wait oh skeletons in the closet isn't bad did it
00:25:14
take you to make this one month you're telling me you made this whole costume
00:25:20
from scratch okay that's good skeletons in the closet is good I mean that's a month
00:25:27
of prep to go to a friends party at a dorm in an apartment
00:25:33
complex uh that's a lot of work I thought she was going to Heidi clums party you know basically uh you're not
00:25:40
impressed Halloween really what it's all about David just for a second here let
00:25:46
me is about three to six-year-old kids
00:25:52
who are jumping out of their SE they're so excited to ring the doorbell they have their costume they say trick or
00:25:58
treat and they're adorable I have ch twe I candy you know and they're so candy
00:26:05
and then as the night goes on that's 6:30 or 6 and then it's by 9:30 you got
00:26:11
like a 15-year-old kid you know he just he's got a pillowcase he's just rans sacking he just puts sunglasses on I'm a
00:26:19
guy at the beach you know and he's just grabbing and grabbing and then eventually there's a guy with an Uzi
00:26:26
opens fire yeah I'm robbing you yeah did I yeah yeah you know it's funny
00:26:31
because there's schools now I read that are they're banning Halloween parties because Halloween is bad I don't know
00:26:38
how it's bad but it's bad so I think they should just say okay let's just say it's a costume party at school and you
00:26:47
get free candy because that's all it is really to 99% of the people I don't really know what the bad part is but
00:26:53
it's something that is against someone so if it is fine eighth graders like to
00:26:59
do Mayhem and I I've done that you know throw eggs they want to have shaving cream they want to get people wet and
00:27:06
crazed out you know I was traumatized by Halloween because my parents moved
00:27:12
October 31st so my first day of kindergarten was Halloween and so I'm
00:27:17
being I'm I'm late I'm introduced to the class and they all have crazy masks on they seem like scary and I had no
00:27:24
costume we have to March around the playground so they just gave me a IC fireman's hat and that was my cost never
00:27:32
forgot it man traum that was your first like SNL sketch you're like I'm a
00:27:37
fireman you should have come as Wayne or or gu or the church lady or
00:27:42
something um I don't know you blew it you blew it are you going to man the door this year and pass out
00:27:49
candy dud come up this hill no one's that strong unless Carrie Underwood comes up with her leg dressed as the
00:27:56
Tommy Boy guy yeah that's what I am I do I did post a lot of people when they I
00:28:02
like when they post um costumes of something I did There's aot Emperor New Groove there some um there's jod dirt's
00:28:10
actually I take it it's very flattering but a lot of them are too easy oh I did have one I'll play it next week have a
00:28:16
kid bring dragging a meteor around town that was funny he really got oh really that's funny that's around the whole
00:28:22
town and he's doing lines from the movie that is but Joe Dirt is like flannel shirt mullet W you know it's too easy um
00:28:31
so there's Bench Warmers that's kind of funny cuz one has a bike helmet on and one has a vest on and then there's
00:28:38
grown-ups which all you really need it's really easy and lazy but you just need one guy with a Kentucky Fried Chicken
00:28:44
Bucket over his head and then that's that sells it and then you're good the rest of it is shorts well you've got
00:28:50
Wayne and gar any woman It's Always a Woman oh there it is oh look at this kid
00:28:56
okay oh cute that's the a years but just for laughs let's see how
00:29:02
much you're worth well it ain't a meteor yeah it is he walks slow like I do what is that a
00:29:09
tire but it ain't no meteor it's a big old Frozen chunk of [ __ ] what kid see
00:29:15
them airplanes they dump for toilets 36,000 ft and the stuff freezes and Falls to Earth we call them Boeing
00:29:22
bombs no that that that can't be that's not what it is that's a space peut so
00:29:28
see the peanut dead giveaway yeah that's that's a space peanut all right that's
00:29:34
enough yeah I don't want to give away the whole movie uh it makes me like that
00:29:40
movie because it's so ridiculous movies are fun you know just so ridiculous I
00:29:46
like that kid he gets in when you got the ACDC shirt there's people at ComiCon that one guy has a really good one with
00:29:51
a full full overalls full real meteor I think it's a real meteor D I got to say
00:29:58
I'm just going to insert this as I it's kind of one of the most flattering things you could do as a a comedian
00:30:04
doing characters in movies or on Sat Night Live and decades later people and young people are dressing up as them
00:30:10
it's very flattering it's like it I do love it yeah it lasts that I think that comedy when I was coming through my
00:30:17
formative years Monty Python and stuff bonding over comedy really even more than drama catchphrases and stuff for
00:30:24
sure oh when we were in high school just all we cared was comedy movies yeah totally so fun all right next one what
00:30:31
else what else running out of time we're getting close to the end we're getting close to the end folks you can we have a
00:30:37
guest go about your go oh is another costume this is so
00:30:42
weird I don't know how they do it hi guys good morning what even better he does
00:30:51
that that okay no don't get to figure it out no no I just did that that last
00:30:57
second I just fig you did well his real Fe the bottom is it a magic trick I didn't get
00:31:04
it optical illusion or is it a visual it's a very good effect can we see it one more time for people who are just
00:31:10
listening I like that he goes from that to standing up that feels like a better
00:31:15
trick that's pretty good I I'm I'm not sure I totally figured it out you know
00:31:21
yeah I like that you're were like oh that Old Chestnut and then you thought I thought his left arm would be fake but
00:31:26
it didn't look fake you know like like half his body would so it's it's it's an optical illusion or it's a a deep fake
00:31:33
or it's AI or something so AI can really when I
00:31:38
look at Instagram any news report about something can be an AI they fake the
00:31:44
voice now any photos of people can be AI anything they say any so it's getting
00:31:51
scarier to say this is real this is this scares me this doesn't this is you just don't know 100% anymore
00:31:58
nope the only good news is like within three or five years Mike Myers and I could just be hanging out what's up man
00:32:04
he let's go to the AI and just say the AI Wayne's World 3 uh and just some silly plot click the
00:32:11
button and within one second we'll have a 90-minute feature film will be digital copies of our from 30 years ago and the
00:32:19
movie will be a hit take one hologram standup where we go on the road you don't go on the road you just do the
00:32:25
they they get in there in their own house or they get with people and you appear on the stage and do your act they
00:32:31
kind of I think that's going to happen that's happened I think Todd rungren did I already did a tour yeah it happened
00:32:37
you can do it from one place and it beams into all the living rooms but yeah holy up Beam Me Up Dana mhm you fight
00:32:45
technology you're more fearful of Technology like I go no quick impression
00:32:50
of you fighting technology 2024 I don't understand it I can't believe it it's
00:32:56
too much for me I don't like it it's not my best you're the devil take it away
00:33:02
you could do a quick impression to me too if you want okay here's
00:33:07
Dana that's you getting your rot
00:33:13
Canal give me another liquid vikin you got a vikin drip there like a
00:33:20
like a Geral here's you watching me get the uh
00:33:25
the root canal with clo closer you found out where it
00:33:31
was you're watching me on a little TV screen in your mansion and then I press a button more pain less go deeper less
00:33:39
Nova fake Nova yeah I don't think this is accurate of you but it's kind here's
00:33:45
how fake your um dentist is that uh because he's so because you got the cheapest guy so at the end he's running
00:33:53
out so he just he just melts down Advils and puts him in an iron then he goes like this
00:33:59
and then you get the steam of the steamed Adil here's you with a close circuit camera out in the
00:34:05
parking lot watching me just in pain swollen up going to my
00:34:11
car Heather Heather look Heather help me look it's not my
00:34:18
best impression but it's just an impression it doesn't have to be accurate that you know that one stung
00:34:23
cuz it was so accurate here's the impression of you watching me kill at The Comedy
00:34:32
Store no here's me here's you watching me do a bit at
00:34:39
the comedy store and deciding that you might use it for your own act oh yeah here's me switch that word
00:34:48
switch that word or he'll never know get laughs mhm I don't know if I can get
00:34:54
generate those kind of laughs but by the way last night I went to the start to say hi to Bobby Lee and Santino they
00:35:00
were doing absolutely together and then uh of course I went up stage hog so I
00:35:05
went up and it was pretty fun oh you know what I did do though day we have all this new material that hasn't been
00:35:12
exposed yet I got my drink my water because I do it between jokes I don't
00:35:18
know if to explain that I go like this live fly buzzing in it in the water
00:35:25
live going in my mouth oh stage stopped it stopped it freaked out couldn't
00:35:32
remember my ACT I'm like what do I do did you tell the audience what just happened you could do
00:35:38
10 minutes on I did not isn't that funny I did not you hit it from the audience I don't want to give away all
00:35:45
my tricks I just was like I was I thought they'd be so grossed out because it was like this it bumped my
00:35:52
mouth sick dude I couldn't even focus I barely killed and got a barely got a
00:35:58
standing ovation did you just one standing ovation cuz that's not that's a low
00:36:03
bar ladies and gentlemen David Spade is on the way to his car wait a minute he's coming back out
00:36:09
again what when I did my special they they do
00:36:16
I think they did do a standing Evas Heather but I think if I I might have earned it but
00:36:23
they it went well but I think they feel like they should well oh stood up and I came out that's good who doesn't it's
00:36:30
hard yeah I mean well yeah they're yeah now you're like they're thanking you for the years of fun 3,000 you know the one
00:36:39
before it was in Minnesota which I loved the the theater Great crowds there yeah
00:36:45
but it was about three years ago and uh I couldn't hear my opener Bobby killing
00:36:50
and he usually does really well and I'm like oh no they're a tough crowd I told you this so I go on and they're like
00:36:56
this and then I'm not doing as well and have you ever had a show that's important and you're like this is going
00:37:01
to be a tough set and we're not just at a comedy club it's like a tough set when we're filming it and so I'm working
00:37:06
working and then I realized they're all masks but I didn't know and so the laughs would be like haha but now that
00:37:14
I you didn't know the audience was masked no they they I said oh I don't
00:37:20
want to I said they go I think that one you know because of Co I go no no I don't want that but then they never said
00:37:26
oh you don't have have any say in it and U I'm like oh is that why they weren't and I was worried about so many other
00:37:33
things I go I don't know if it was worth it I did love I did like the special that's not the problem it's just special
00:37:38
they were good crowd but you can't hear it as much and so there's more pausing because you're
00:37:44
like but this one was no that that's that's just was not what comedy was built for as a mass crowd masks are for
00:37:53
robbers or maybe magicians or but they're not for comedy crowd yeah Nate
00:38:00
did one during covid and he had everyone sit 10 feet away from each other oh
00:38:05
rather than I they had masks on but they were all back and it was just it was still funny but that's just the one like
00:38:11
now I get my special like Nate was like this will be great and then it wound up being funny but that's not the ideal
00:38:17
situation you just want a regular com and this this one was a regular Theater Denver two shows a lot of fun so that's
00:38:23
not even out won't be out for a while um it must it must have been a blast having all that energy com at you I did one
00:38:29
where um you know uh it was sort of near a college and a lot of the kids had free
00:38:36
dental care but in anyway a lot of them apparently had had dental work the day that I was going to shoot my special so
00:38:42
a good amount of the audience had cotton in their mouth and and they couldn't
00:38:47
really I couldn't really hear them but I shot the special but you ever have a set like that where you come out and they're
00:38:53
just not laughing that hard and halfway through you go they had dental work today it's free at the college and all their mouths are full of cotton and I go
00:39:00
why am I shooting this special in this situation but I just held yeah did the best I could I shot a special and they
00:39:06
all I realized that they all had a pillow over their face I knew you were going somewhere we go from mask to
00:39:12
Cotton okay so why though David let's just follow this scenario why would they
00:39:17
all have a pillow over their face well that's a great question because that day
00:39:22
was a pillow fight they had on this campus then they were so tired they fell asleep face down in their pillows but it
00:39:29
was still a pretty good show I would did a special in a sort of sketchy area of
00:39:36
the country and um everyone in the audience had a hood over there uh over
00:39:42
them okay and uh let's look at a clip I think
00:39:48
we have a lot of clips for that um there actually the were special is when the tickets just didn't sell and the whole
00:39:54
theater was empty and they you got to shoot it anyway you got to
00:40:00
shoot it anyway there was just it was just one person out there and his name was David Spade and I thank you for
00:40:09
that all right we will go should we talk about uh h no no we'll go I'll talk
00:40:14
about next time okay it's nice meeting you Dana and uh this is a really fun one and oh let's bring on our guests right
00:40:20
now yeah we have a great guest today he's been on our podcast before ladies and gentlemen waiting room for a half
00:40:26
hour ladies and gentlemen we present you the one and only comedy
00:40:32
Legend because he's had his fingerprints all over comedy for at least two decades
00:40:37
from 40-Year-Old Virgin to super bad to to other movies and
00:40:45
specials anyway what can't this fell do and he's gonna tell us about his new
00:40:50
charitable um events coming up this is very cool of him we're going to talk about standup and everything fun purses
00:40:57
thing j j app yeah there you [Music]
00:41:08
go EPO epow epow EP we still don't know
00:41:13
you feeling fancy today I'm gonna call you a a legend yes you like that I'm gonna call
00:41:19
you appudo you like that just for the amount of time you've been part of the American Comedy scene we've different
00:41:26
ways that's how you get quick question enough about your credits there're plenty it
00:41:33
looks like a CVS receipt now Dan had a question about the baseball game this
00:41:39
will be on Friday and games may be over but I just wanted to make the comment
00:41:45
and you can answer the question baseball as a sport yeah if
00:41:52
you're going to the guy who makes I'm not going to pick on Aaron judge anybody who on a cold streak you know 19
00:42:00
strikeouts in a row could you take a Jud a David or me put us in the same
00:42:08
position and then the team would be the same nothing would change we wouldn't get a hit either
00:42:15
there's no other sport baseball basketball you'd be killed but or sorry baseball basketball football but in
00:42:21
baseball I thought to myself I can do as good as Aaron judge is doing to play
00:42:28
it's brutal like when they get The Yips you know when like someone gets The Yips and they can't pitch or what is it you
00:42:37
know baseball that well I mean you have you go to the game someone said they saw you is that true I went to a couple of dodic games
00:42:44
and I went and the the person who brought me said these are great tickets you're right you know behind the plate
00:42:50
and I'm like oh no does that mean like I'm on camera the whole time no it's
00:42:56
just you're at the corner it's pretty rare I'm literally in the center the
00:43:02
entire game for three hours me staring not wanting to do what I normally do is
00:43:08
like eat hot dogs and burgers and not pay attention so I just sat there like
00:43:13
frozen for three hours how far was John Ham from you what was that where was the Rogues gallery of
00:43:19
star I didn't see ham I saw Mary Hart there was definitely some heart happening there God how did she score
00:43:26
that directly she's in like the shot when they show the batter up close she's like right next to the bat you know
00:43:33
she's in the tight shot there's a foldup chair if the UMP is brwy enough there's
00:43:38
a foldup chair right behind him and I thought I saw Lauren Michaels sneaking peek over the shoulder just one quick
00:43:45
insert here they know that so sunflower seeds are big I understand that they
00:43:50
know they're going to be seen 50 60 shots of the coach of the Yankees
00:43:57
spitting out sunflower seeds so they know it's coming they're going to spit them out it's just not a good look I
00:44:02
mean what do you what do you think about this because this is all over the web I mean this is blowing up well I yeah
00:44:09
that's what I was like on camera my whole thing was don't eat don't eat no
00:44:15
hard to tell understand how much you eat because now that they have the pitching clock the game's faster so know they
00:44:23
Rush the pitchers to pitch so the game is like 40 minutes short which means I can't do the third shift
00:44:30
of hot dogs I used to have like a couple the beginning a couple five innings later now I can't there an eating clock
00:44:38
what you eat four hot dogs in a game you fat ass Jesus Dodger dogs are 2 feet
00:44:44
long the game means nothing it's all about the relish and the mustard it's
00:44:50
settling in an eating that's the beauty and you probably have a waitress well that's the best place to have a hot dog
00:44:55
is a baseball game hard liquor you get a seat that's closed suddenly it's it's it's full on hard liquor the thing Dana
00:45:02
when you go to these games if if everything goes wrong and you're totally bored you can watch the game but there's so much other things going on that's why
00:45:09
Jud wants to not just sit there and stare at the game he's like oh my god well question a superfan by the way
00:45:16
during the regular season it's the 150th game the team's in last place is still riveted by the game but every sport and
00:45:25
especially baseball when it for me when it comes to the World Series I'm riveted by every single second but in the middle
00:45:31
of the season I I I'm not I'm not going there dips dips a little I love the
00:45:37
World Series I think it's incredible Jud comment uh well I think uh it was shocking to see the Mets play so well
00:45:44
and oh God my God oh get that [ __ ] cat out of there it's a preview for cat NATO
00:45:52
I I prefer the Mets when they're terrible like when they start winning I almost start drifting as a fan because
00:45:58
when I was a kid they were always so bad I love to be the only fan at the stadium
00:46:03
so I have trouble when they're great but it was fun to seeing the Mets play well yep wait I have a big this is a
00:46:08
controversial question this is just in at press time which is way before this SS but um then the and the the this
00:46:18
chubby sort of portly fat guy that that tried to take the ball out of the gloves
00:46:24
I don't know if he was that heavy we were a disparage
00:46:29
he was husky husky is the most benign word about he had a dad bod oh yeah he
00:46:36
had dad bod Farley always said I'm a husky know that's that's the size he
00:46:41
wears uh okay so husky guy and his buddy who get I mean I get all the high Jinks
00:46:48
and it's your team but when you uh are are snapping mookie bets is a clavicle
00:46:53
while you're bending his hand back and giving him carpal tunnel and Ste steing the ball fine and they get kicked out
00:46:59
fine but they're back they're allowed to come back the next game I don't think they should be allowed I don't that was
00:47:05
shocking if there is a next game in New York whoops we don't know this comes out two weeks from now so no there is for
00:47:12
sure a game after that game I don't know if there's a game after that game well it's sudden death for the Yankees every
00:47:17
game you know they have to win you don't care that they're coming back you don't care I'm I I'm I'm intrigued by both
00:47:25
teams I just think that you can't be that good and not explode like they did
00:47:31
last night for 10 runs and you is it can you use the word are they choking The
00:47:37
Yips I mean in the first three games or just a little bit of luck on the Dodgers side with throwing people out you
00:47:44
know J the answer Jud one might say I'm not a big expert on this but it might
00:47:50
yes you are comp that the Dodgers are playing really well I mean
00:47:56
uh as a a hot take that's a crazy go out on a
00:48:02
limb like Dodgers the Yankees scoring more points I'm not even rooting for anybody I'm kind of like I Ro for
00:48:09
players I like I want Aaron judge to go crazy I you know I root for the players
00:48:14
because I I my heart goes out to anybody who's on that stage who's that brilliant
00:48:20
since he's 10 years old and you know watching him struggle like that so I root for players MH I
00:48:27
Listen Listen by the way this just in the Yankees allowed the players to come
00:48:32
back but the MLB overruled it and Bann them wow wow there you
00:48:39
go that's more Trevor Jud we don't have a ticker tape here we just have a couple
00:48:44
we're going to see similar looking men at the Dodger Stadium you know with fake
00:48:50
mustaches and noses on seated in the exact same place so I think there's more to this story than what we're hearing
00:48:56
facial recognition technology like it oh that's right ai ai finally comes to the
00:49:02
Rescue all right what about Aaron judge his life is all green lights if he's got a little bit of trouble he'll be fine
00:49:09
because he's like 68 is that possible 68 is that even a number that's possible oh
00:49:14
yeah it is because it's on every girl's Instagram the guy's got to be minimum 6 yeah it is kind of weird when you're really goodlook and gigantic and then a
00:49:22
Superstar athlete and worth hundreds of millions of dollars you're kind of like is there anything thing that's bugging
00:49:27
you right now in life yeah I know Dan is like crying for the guy they say that like a lot of the reason why people are
00:49:34
the quarterback is because they were goodlooking in in junior high and high
00:49:39
school and they just kind of keep getting opportunities yeah due to their sexiness
00:49:45
and handsomeness to play goofy ugly guy who might have
00:49:51
become great not talking about by myself but maybe never gets a shot there he
00:49:57
never got in there and the handsome guys get the shots and next thing you know every quarterback looks like Tom Brady
00:50:03
it's it's uh even backups are goodlooking exactly that's what I love about comedy you it doesn't matter what
00:50:10
your mug is you can have any any kind of look if you're funny I it people because
00:50:15
I I was sort of a cutesy guy for a long time until I reached this age I was I
00:50:21
was uh still spade and I were like you know well they you don't look funny I
00:50:26
was told that by some manager you know you don't look funny kid you know not funny enough you know you don't look
00:50:32
funny you don't look funny I have a I have a question for Jud about the state of uh Showbiz because jud's got his Jud
00:50:40
has a lot to say pulse or whatever um I just read because we were we were sort of bitching about how in La there's not
00:50:47
a lot of shooting um because uh or at least the wrong kind you mean
00:50:52
photography Film Production there there's no there's not enough tax credits everyone goes to Georgia we all
00:50:57
know this Jud knows this better than anyone one of the first things Jud when you get a budget of a movie is like
00:51:03
where do you shoot it right isn't that an early that's right it's now it's not always La unless unless the movie takes
00:51:08
place in LA right well they always want you to make the budget lower I think in the old days you could kind of convince
00:51:14
them it would be better in La now I think they go just go to Prague it looks like La go to Prague I I I remember we
00:51:22
did a movie inport Louisiana with Harold RIS and so
00:51:28
we did it to get the tax break uh and we kept hearing screaming
00:51:36
like and it was ruining all the takes and we're like what what are we next door to and they said it's a monkey
00:51:43
Sanctuary where monkeys that's where they live out their day that's send you
00:51:49
to make a movie not la which has all the good uh equipment do you switch it out and make your film a taram movie if it's
00:51:56
a romantic comedy I mean you know you write fast I mean come on we just make it a on the Fly Jungle Cruise too Dana
00:52:04
this just in so they're changing G Aven is changing the tax credit in LA because
00:52:10
of our podcast they only had 350 million a year credit they just bumped it to 700
00:52:18
million and that's not going to go into effect till next summer so a year but I think that's I think it's okay it's not
00:52:24
enough when everything is in billions now everything you hear about is a billion win here two billion 20 billion
00:52:30
100 billion so when you still have an m in front of it it doesn't sound like it's a huge help but it will help so I
00:52:38
appreciate the effort but we got a lot of crew we got a lot of people here that want to work and they're in the Tinsel
00:52:44
Town Hollywood and we got to make it a little easier we have Studios all over the place don't want them to go down we
00:52:50
need a tax break which is more than Jessica Alba has in the bank
00:52:57
yeah at any given time I I personally the businessman artists thing
00:53:03
I'm envious but when I see people leveraging whatever their career is and then becoming a gazillionaire with
00:53:10
different products it's like you know how come you never bought like a sell
00:53:15
service yeah Dam I was I thought I you know in the 90s you couldn't even do a commercial in the 80s Hans and France
00:53:22
were offered just do it the first Nike campaign just do it couldn't do it weren't allowed to do it
00:53:29
said no just forces at Play It's not what we do and then everybody it flipped
00:53:36
and now you see even cast members that are are out of SNL doing massive campaigns for commercials so they leave
00:53:43
the show to do a commercial comeback I turned down a lot of commercials and I I would have got I don't I'm fine but I
00:53:49
would have gone back and done them Leno was right Leno did Doritos and people do
00:53:54
Doritos I remember I had a friend who left NL and they did they did a commercial for the phone company and got
00:54:01
paid more money than they got paid for like eight years on SNL yes well you
00:54:07
know Dana I did one for a MCI no I did one for um what's in your wallet weren't
00:54:13
you 1800 collect I oh yeah I did that too but when i800 collect where I go hey call and I was on a pay phone going hey
00:54:21
call you know I did that anyway hilarious so when I did a Playboy
00:54:26
interview which is like kind of a big interview not just Playboy it's just a big interview and so gert's called me and he goes I'm sorry I'm reading this
00:54:34
interview I'm sorry I just got a call from MCI you didn't happen to say in the
00:54:39
interview you do commercials for collect but you don't really use that for collect calls you use Sprint did you say
00:54:45
that I'm sorry all the people that are going to have to give back their millions of dollars take one step
00:54:50
forward that's you Spade that what happened are you yeah they called and said we want our money back
00:54:57
and you apologize I was just saying that kidding there's literally no defense I
00:55:03
was like I was just being honest I would just say that it's opposite in those
00:55:08
days it was like oh you do a commercial you're selling out no if you do a shitty movie with a shitty director and that's
00:55:15
your face on the face of a shitty movie that's selling out everyone knows when that we see our heroes doing a
00:55:21
commercial they're getting paid a lot of money but this is not their creative area this is not their but you want them
00:55:28
to hopefully be decent so turn ones that aren't quite there but they're never going to be a 10 out of 10 usually so
00:55:34
Jud would you like a commercial Jud appow for would you direct a Super Bowl One never ever um well here's the thing
00:55:41
I got offered at superb Super Bowl commercial and some company wanted to do
00:55:46
some sort of variation of Seth and Paul doing you know how I know you're gay as
00:55:52
a superl yeah and I was like not gay would it be what would it be I don't think that'll
00:55:58
work I don't either and they hadn't asked them yet so I just said no like I
00:56:03
don't see how you can adjust that joke to make it work right then I watch the Super Bowl they're both in it they made
00:56:10
millions and it was
00:56:15
funny you cut yourself out of the equation hilarious I didn't believe it
00:56:20
ourselves did you turn the did you turn the TV off and storm out of the room when you saw that I was I was upset yeah
00:56:28
the one thing I wanted to ask you just because I'm curious because we briefly talked about a little while back is just
00:56:33
the culture of Hollywood in terms of what they'll green light and I know now it's it it it you just said something
00:56:40
interesting that and it wasn't negative or guiny it was just sort of like observing that when you pitch things if
00:56:46
it's subtle and kind of quiet like something like the office or whatever they want something that can Trend or
00:56:54
make noise or be noisy as a you know um chimpanze going to spaceship
00:57:00
and then come back to earth and you know Eartha kit is alive and as president the United States you got it so how are you
00:57:08
navigating that I know we're going to talk about your standup in a second but as a filmmaker well I have a new Theory
00:57:14
which is I feel like uh everything is like in the newspaper business if it bleeds it leads like everything is
00:57:21
doomed scrolling because they don't want you to shut anything off so they're obsessed with it being really intense
00:57:28
that's why almost everything on the streamers is either about the biggest star in the world or a serial killer
00:57:34
right everything is a thriller everything is like intense
00:57:39
hypersexual yeah you know some ACT you know nocole kimman which I love her her
00:57:45
shows because they're just sexy Thrillers she's in everyone and she's in a lot for her it's all like completion
00:57:53
rate like we must have them completed we couldnot put on a film if anyone shuts
00:57:58
it off and so there's an intensity to everything whether it's sexy or exciting
00:58:05
or terrifying and I think it changes it so you don't have quieter subtler
00:58:10
whatever funny human things because I think they're afraid people are gonna shut it off or not sure go yeah and you
00:58:17
lose a lot of good stuff when everything is is so wired you know yeah every Tik
00:58:23
Tok starts with I just got shot and then you go really and they go let me back up a minute so I was born in Michigan and
00:58:29
everyone's like oh my God and then they it never gets to you know it takes and I hate when it says wait for it on it wait
00:58:34
for it so I can make money when it hits a minute wait for it yeah for I'm like wasn't
00:58:40
worth yeah I think if you it it's everywhere is this like J I think when
00:58:46
Nicole Kidman comes out at the beginning of AMC she should tell you in this movie
00:58:51
or we want you to watch the whole thing it's like saying wait for it it's like
00:58:57
ideally stay till the end well I I have to say the movie going experience now is
00:59:03
bigger and better for me than it's ever been because only in church or in a movie theater are you pretty much
00:59:10
required to turn off your phone or basically on takeoff on a plane so you go into a dark theater so you turn it
00:59:16
off and you're trapped in the movie where you might click away if you had a thousand choices but you you hang with
00:59:23
it and then a lot of times that was a great movie yeah and it's so peaceful I
00:59:29
I pay to go to a matina just because I'm in a dark room looking at a screen with thing fun it's still will you shut the
00:59:35
world off Jud comment I I think there's nothing better than laughing in a movie theater with a lot of people and we need
00:59:42
more let's let's do more you know I miss Jud preview screenings when it's when it goes well it's so fun see the movie for
00:59:49
the first time oh my God you've been working on it for years and you show it to people for the first time I remember
00:59:54
when we showed super bad for the first time I convinced Cameron Crow to come to just give us notes if we screwed
01:00:00
anything up and it just killed so hard it was like winning the Super Bowl it was just so so great it was so funny it
01:00:07
was like carvy on SNL doing bid you know come on and guess what and by the way
01:00:14
come on folks let's get real let get real time and gotta do it you know that
01:00:20
was a a hot that was a little nerve-wracking I thought for the first one and I think I overdid his walk a
01:00:25
little bit when I came out but the uh I go did he get shot you know you don't
01:00:31
see it you know you're I had never seen myself do Biden so I made adjustments
01:00:36
but I was waiting for someone to maybe Heckle me and I was I had it locked and loaded get your fact straight Jack I was
01:00:43
ready for that if uh but so far the New York Times co-signed it so I'm happy I
01:00:49
remember when I heard it the first time and I said to you I go look at Dana everyone's struggling to figure out
01:00:56
they're Biden and you have it just nailed quietly in your own little world
01:01:01
and I I it was the dream that they would have you do it on the show I'm glad that all worked out uh bizarrely was invited
01:01:08
to do it before Biden was when he before the debate problem and then afterwards
01:01:15
Lauren Michaels still you'll come in you know you'll you you know he just wanted me to be there but anyway yeah it's fun
01:01:20
to be able to do a character that's kind of ironically new and then is leaving
01:01:25
the stage very soon so it's like a little you know you know what I like about it it's like you Alpha Dog the
01:01:32
whole show you're like oh by the way yeah I'm still the best one who ever did it
01:01:38
boom I this is my favorite Superfly episode so far bad if I think they didn't know they needed a good Biden
01:01:45
until they saw it then they were like oh good this is a great addition who would be the other character that you have
01:01:51
loaded that you're like second half um I would love to do James carll
01:01:58
currently on those zooms leaning over yeah you know and I I like the southerners I do like both we both love
01:02:05
Senator John Kennedy does does now you tweeted on October 4th your words not
01:02:14
mine that you would believe so anyway that's those two if they were invited I
01:02:20
would I would try to do a deep deep thing on them so no one does RFK is it
01:02:26
is it offensive to try to do RFK I did it here only explaining what dystonia is
01:02:31
I have a brother with dystonia and it's just it's not lethal but his vocal cords are just constricting and so that's his
01:02:38
voice it doesn't stop him but it is all stuck back there and you have to get
01:02:45
used to listening to it if you it's just hard to listen to that's I I get used to it I listen to him on Joe Rogan and um
01:02:52
the ladies like it so it's not hurting him yeah well look he's a Kennedy they go oh did he have anything going on well
01:02:59
look at his uncle and dad Come on B with a boner a republican Kennedy a Kennedy
01:03:05
how does he hit on the ladies setting up Dana I don't know let me hear him hit on how does
01:03:12
Trump it's unbelievable a republican Bobby Kennedy Jr or I I do I do Jack
01:03:19
Kennedy and Bobby Kennedy from Heaven talking about their uh your son you know your ra your son is certainly a colorful
01:03:27
character uh has very uh extraordinary positions on different uh issues I know
01:03:34
I uh I agree Jack he uh dances to his own tune it's just the same accent but slightly more Bugs Bunny but um I like
01:03:43
they're so compassionate about about him they're not mad well they would be you know how Jack Kennedy if you ever want
01:03:48
to just be happy watch watch a John F Kennedy press conference in 1961 or two
01:03:53
the charm and just it's off the charts the way he was I see or a question and
01:03:59
and then he would do some self- effacing joke I mean what a master of that you know so anyway I don't know how we got
01:04:05
here but where should we go next but yeah I'm happy to do other things on the show but it's been fun to do Biden and I
01:04:12
do try to George Bush Senior IE it and that I take Liberty he never said I
01:04:17
Can't Believe It's Not Butter you know I make it a character and I'm when I'm
01:04:22
doing the character I like the character I'm doing like I like do I like the character of of Joe Biden that I do so
01:04:29
anyway that's all I got to say he's a nice man yeah I mean I it's a human thing Neil Young used to say that about
01:04:35
PA it's a human thing man because when I told him I was going to the White House we were after SNL we were sitting I
01:04:41
going over the White House to George Bush Senor goes it's a human thing man so in the end of the day all the
01:04:47
politics it's a human thing and so I would love uh President Biden to come on and just be fun to do a little thing
01:04:54
with him Jud went to Coachella with Biden I think hangs all the CBS so enough about
01:05:02
that now what about your comedy what what are you doing with this comedy thing right now I'm at the New York
01:05:07
Comedy Festival I'm at the Beacon Theater on November n you're headlining
01:05:13
the be Can I by yourself uh it's a it's a I have some friends it's surprise guests last time I did it Sandler came
01:05:21
and Mike biglia so this time it's you know it's always a it's a secret but there will be people there that you'll
01:05:27
be you'll be happier that they are there than I'm there you're kind of really just hoping I tricked people into
01:05:34
joining me and that's the reason to go and I can say right now there are people way better than me on the bill secret
01:05:40
people you'll be excited about so but are you going last are you headline um
01:05:47
well that's always the question isn't it because when we do Largo sometimes it's
01:05:53
jud's night yeah and I'll go on and go with go over to see J and hang out but
01:05:58
sometimes Jud you do beginning and then middle and then end right sometimes you do like 20 here 20 there yeah yeah you
01:06:04
know depending on how it's going but I'm also in Atlanta at the Variety Playhouse
01:06:10
this Sunday these are all benefits for Hurricane Relief like David Spade I've
01:06:15
made all my shows benefits for the Red Cross for Hurricane Relief right David nice yeah I gave fat ones to the bread
01:06:23
cross about 10 years ago remember I think you remember because I put out a press release um they haven't spent it
01:06:30
all they can't spend it all because it so much jud.com
01:06:35
events and the one in Atlanta the money goes to Georgia and the one in New York the money goes to North
01:06:41
Carolina that's Co what's the date of the beacon one n9th of November and it's
01:06:47
the 3 in Atlanta and what day of the week is the ninth uh it's Saturday and
01:06:55
days after the election so it could be any kind of night depending on where you sit because I was going to if it was a
01:07:02
night I could be there because I will be in New York but if it's Saturday night it might be tricky I was just going to be in the audience and raise my hand and
01:07:08
then yeah oh well and then come up and do Biden you have a show that night yes
01:07:15
oh boy but I I happen to be there and then okay so that's the 9th at the Beacon for for the hurricane relief and
01:07:23
then the second ones is on what night of the week on the third in Atlanta at the Variety Saturday got it you know it's
01:07:30
funny when you give money to Red Cross or something and uh you do a nice gesture immediately after someone like
01:07:36
Taylor Swift gives a million dollars everyone goes wait what did you give again I go well listen it's all it
01:07:43
all is thrown into the pot a million became the kind of bar of like yeah it has to be at least a million or can't be
01:07:50
like I'm gonna give $75,000 and it's like
01:07:56
and someone else get 10 million I know you that's that's the problem is that when you do these things
01:08:02
you say like you're going to do an event you'll make some money and then the money just goes there we don't need to know how much it's it's all Positive
01:08:09
Vibes it's all going good thing can so but do people give privately anymore or
01:08:15
is that not in fashion you're not allowed to not brag about it oh okay
01:08:21
well I could do some retro then so I was not on you know it's
01:08:26
like it's like you try to give money to a politician and then Elon Musk gives them $150 million yeah that's right I
01:08:34
know it's like when you see someone go oh we saw George Clooney leaving this restaurant and TMZ caught him giving a
01:08:41
bumb $100 I mean a homeless guy I mean a not home guy whatever it's called well
01:08:46
and uh and then they go oh well when there's 18 Paparazzi there I'll give 200
01:08:51
how about that it's a thousand for $1,000 let's talk about trending bang
01:08:56
for your buck you go to a diner with friends or whatever and you leave a $1,000 cash tiip so you're for people
01:09:03
that were blessed by America in our lives we can do that and that'll Trend big you know but if you give 500,000 of
01:09:11
a million for Hurricane Relief people are like yeah yeah Sandra Bullock gave
01:09:16
more yeah yeah Sandy yeah but when you give a big tip at a restaurant like that
01:09:22
like then the next time you come back when you bring it back down to 22% then you're deck oh yeah they always
01:09:30
heard you know it's true Bill Murray said he always I think he said he had to carry 20s during SNL then now it's 50s
01:09:38
now it's hundreds because if anyone gets a little less they go a little tough out there in the
01:09:44
career you're only getting 100 every time look at when I take my bag down to
01:09:49
the car it used to be the Bellman then he's gone then there's another guy with the trunk open Mr Spade this all good
01:09:54
I'm like oh that guy gave it to that guy I have to dust my bag for Prince to see who I give money
01:10:02
to the hardware store and on the screen it asks you what your tip is what's your
01:10:07
move for buying Nails well a TI I just pick them up and
01:10:13
brought it here so I I just tip half I just tip half and when I go to a Four
01:10:19
Seasons or that kind of Hotel I pack my jacket with 20s yeah half
01:10:26
at a restaurant I packed my jacket with 20s like a magician and then any guy leaping valet or whatever it takes me
01:10:33
usually which I'm fine doing this I know it's not what's going to break me takes me about $200 to get to my room but then
01:10:40
I go well why not I mean I mean I I I worked on tips did you ever you ever a
01:10:46
waiter or a bus boy I I was I was a bus boy I was a bus boy at the East Side
01:10:51
comedy club on Long Island because I wanted to watch Ians when I was in high
01:10:56
school first I was a dishwasher I the same trajectory yeah
01:11:03
dishw but I couldn't see the show because I was in the kitchen I was like this is a a miscalculation I can't see
01:11:09
it was like literally like Rosio was it the Hobart 3000 where you'd run it through a thing the Hobart Hobart 3000
01:11:16
was my dishwasher and the dishes would pile up you'd get no break and I would eat off the plates that were left over
01:11:23
would you eat off it I who was a waiter and he ate like a half a hamburger off
01:11:28
someone's plate and then both his arms got hives so we we all realized not to
01:11:33
do that I ate everything when I was hi from a hamburger I can't connect those dots well who knows what saliva from the
01:11:41
that's what he told his girlfriend yeah he goes she goes how'd
01:11:46
you get these bumps he's like babe you know I'm a bus boy I ate the wrong hamburger I loved
01:11:53
being a dishwasher I love just having my hands and everyone's melting wet buns
01:11:58
and Breads and and it was like a video game because they would dump the dishes and you had to clean them fast so the
01:12:04
area where the dishes got dumb didn't get too loaded up right and it was like a human video game yeah yeah then you'd
01:12:11
stack them and they'd be hot you stack the you know the bread roll plates and you and then you'd have to mop the
01:12:18
entire kitchen for the night shift or day shift and clean up for hours afterwards when I when I smell when I
01:12:24
was doing those you put them all in the racks Jud and you push them into the steamy machine and that smell if I cut
01:12:31
through the kitchen and you smell it I just go oh my God I'm so glad I'm not doing that anymore it's so hard oh I was
01:12:37
I get the opposite I'm just like oh my God that was so fun I used to put on far or four and listen to Juke Box Hero
01:12:43
while I mop the floor at 130 in the morning that's cool it was a
01:12:49
Monday um all right well I think that's enough for Jud he did a great job we had a lot of fun with Jud
01:12:55
very he had his curtains almost closed he did everything right let me just ask you one quick question where are you uh
01:13:02
in your standup right now are you in shape do you have a new thing are you are you in your stand up or I do have a
01:13:09
new a new hour and I think it's kind of interesting I tell a very long story
01:13:17
about taking iasa that leads to a lot of other kind of stories about youthful
01:13:23
trauma that uh uh that I is kind of interesting I usually don't tell like a really long
01:13:29
story but this is such a crazy one talk about IA on this podcast and
01:13:36
our other sister podcast iasa MDMA you know whatever Neil Bren you done the
01:13:42
iasa I have not I did mushrooms in my 20s and I thought I'm good David no
01:13:49
David's not he's not going to do that not risky like that I did read that you were shopping with Leslie and you were
01:13:54
sitting over the side or something there's a lot of reports on you sometimes on the sites and a photo and a photo although
01:14:01
one thing David you'll relate to is when I took aasa my back was out and I thought what if I'm tripping and just
01:14:07
start like leaping but with a back back and that's why you can't do it because you know your back or your neck my neck
01:14:14
yeah would it fix it or it would fix it and it would I'm sure a lot of it's me were you kind of without being pithy
01:14:22
were you uh fixed a little bit or I guess it's in your stand up was I what a bit fixed Neil Brennan just said it
01:14:29
between iasa and MDMA and this is all public knowledge or whatever he kind of got out of his depression not I mean it
01:14:36
really helped him at least last time we talked it's uh well it was uh well I'm Catholic now
01:14:46
that's the only big change that's a fix me too I'm Lu I'm Lutheran I'm I'm
01:14:52
Lutheran too I was raised Lutheran there you go yeah so yeah okay interesting
01:14:58
thank you J well have a nice time in New York if I I'm not in the show I'll drop
01:15:04
by by after dress yeah I could just squeeze there
01:15:09
all right miss you see you soon Jud stand up is funny go see it I've seen it this has been a presentation of
01:15:17
Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro
01:15:23
and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it
01:15:29
[Music]
