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I've heard about your marble jar theory.
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So, I got a jar of marbles.
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I saw that.
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Could you explain to me your theory?
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This is how we teach trust. Where do I
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get my information? Ellen's in fourth
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grade, my oldest. She comes home from
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school. She slides down the door into a
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heap, sobbing. Oh my god, Ellen, are you
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okay? Are you hurt? What's going on?
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Something hard happened. She shared it
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very confidentially with one or two of
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her friends. They had told everybody in
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her class, all 30 kids, everybody was
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laughing and pointing and making fun of
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her. And she said, "I will never trust
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anyone again." And my mind was damn
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straight. Noting person. You trust your
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mama and that's it. That's not the right
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thing to do, right? You want a kid who
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can develop trust with others. So I
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said, "Trust is really hard." She said,
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"I don't understand it." I said, "Trust
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is the marble jar. Every time you share
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something with someone that's
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confidential and they don't share it,
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they get a marble." when you want to
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share something really private and
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personal, you look for a friend whose
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jar is full of marbles. Do you have any
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marble jar friends? And she said,
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"Hannah and Lorna." And I said, "Why?
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They've got big marble jars that are
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full." And I said, this was why it was
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crazy. Tell me something they do to earn
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marbles. Oh, well, like if I get to my
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tray late at lunch and there's no place
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to sit, Laura will scoot over and give
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me half her seat and I can sit at the
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table. And then the other day when I had
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streped throat, Hannah was worried about
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me. So remember her mom called and said,
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"Hannah's worried about Ellen. Why
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wasn't she at school?" But then the
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biggest thing that Hannah did was the
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other day and Opa, my parents, came to
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my soccer game and Hannah looked over
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and goes, "Oh my god, your ma and Opa
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are here." And I said, "Why was that a
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big deal?" And she goes, "Because
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everybody's divorced and remarried and
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I've got four sets of people." And she
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remembered their names. And what was
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shocking to me is that Ellen was
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conveying
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that these marbles were being earned on
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these very small. She knew my
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grandparents' name. She gave me a seat
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to sit at. She checked on me when I was
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missing school. Trust is built slowly
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over time, a marble at a time. And
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that's how that's how we teach trust to
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the most senior leaders in Fortune 100
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companies. Leaders believe that in the
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middle of a crisis, you can just look at
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your people and say, "Trust me, here's
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what we're going to do." And it means
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nothing to people. What matters is the
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leader that walks past you in the
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morning and says, "Hey, good to see
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Stephen. How's your mom's chemo going?"
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Marbles. Marbles. Then when the crisis
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happens, you don't need to say, "Trust
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me." You just need to say what's on your
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mind. They trust you.
