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well welcome back another week another
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ex- homeschoolers Club that's right it's
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your boy Jacob Gooden and uh we're back
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the best ex- homeschooler pod this side
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of the internet uh I am joined today by
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a new homeschool friend uh Jive janev
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jev janev I we literally just talked
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about this and I still messed it
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up okay jev um okay I'm it's it's in
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there now okay but janev first of all
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welcome to the exom scho club yeah I'm
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happy to be here thank you we got
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connected because you just launched your
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podcast called homeschooled uh and it's
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a uh what's the tagline it's an alumni
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oh conversations with alumni
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conversations with alumni and um I we
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just recorded I'm gonna be on your show
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and you know it's only fair you know uh
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to have you on mine but it's been so
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cool to connect with you and and learn
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your homeschool experience and I'm I'm
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excited to share it with the audience
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today it really mimics a lot of like my
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homeschool experience so I think it's
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gonna be fun to kind of go back and
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forth on it a little bit but yeah with
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that said I'm gonna I'm gonna turn the
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floor over to you give us a little bit
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of like the you know set the stage here
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for us like your homeschool experience
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when were you homeschooled siblings
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Family Life curriculum whatever you feel
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like you want to share all right well um
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I the thing I usually lead with is that
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I have four younger siblings some the
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oldest of four so big family I think
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just Paints the picture right there a
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little bit um so we're all at home we
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lived in North Jersey uh my dad was
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working in the city uh full-time so my
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mom kind of took it all on herself um
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but I was homeschooled from sometime in
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the middle first grade through high
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school um so that was I I went for it
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one one of the high schooled
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the homeschoolers that went through high
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school too um and then went to college
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but uh my homeschool life I have to say
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was pretty like it's pretty exciting
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like no day was the same um which think
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there's a lot of uh Beauty in that and
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also a lot of chaos so um just what
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comes with being in a huge family and
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just a lot going on but uh I I really
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liked it I'm a pretty like
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self-motivated person and I think
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enjoyed having that control over my
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schedule um yeah man I could just rant
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forever but I'm trying to think of some
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like poyant things to
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say um my mom's style and mine
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definitely like collided a bit because
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she's just more free flowing and you
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know see where the day takes us kind of
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vibe and I liked having a checklist like
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having a schedule there's a lot of the
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time where I would I just like when I
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needed structure I created it myself for
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myself you know um and that worked for
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me a lot of the time but there I'd be
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lying if I said I I didn't wish
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sometimes that I was like in a in a
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school that was organized and and stuff
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like that um no I think that's like
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that's a great like jumping off point to
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be honest and like yeah I totally my my
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mom is also a very I'm like you I have
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that firstborn like need for
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organization I have a gigantic checklist
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that's right next to me sitting on my
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desk right here I have my notion built
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out for my second brain like I yeah I
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just like I'm that type of person um and
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yeah and I'm married to somebody who is
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much more like your mom where it's like
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that free flowing go with the flow just
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be open to whatever the world has to
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show us that day um and so for whatever
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reason the universe puts those type of
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people together um andt hopefully to
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balance each other out so uh thankfully
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I had a mom who also was kind of like
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rigorously structured like I was um
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probably to a fault but uh but uh but I
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have a sister who's that free flowing
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spirit so one of the things that we
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chatted about and what we connected on
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previously in in chatting was uh that
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you also so you grew up in New Jersey
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and you also were part of like a big
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homeschool community and we a m and so
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our lives just kind of like parallel
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each other in that way so because I was
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a part of achieve and and group
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Solutions and some of those other
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associations on the west coast so tell
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me a little bit about those and like
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what that looked like and how that
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played a role homeo experience we did a
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lot of extracurricular things um in
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general my mom was all about the
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activities and just really wanted us to
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experience as much as possible um
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whether that was in a homes School group
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or elsewhere um it was in like a story
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about like Debate Club at some point
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that I really didn't want to do but um
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anyways but yeah a big part of my
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homeschool experience was a focus on the
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Arts in general like very music oriented
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drama um I was part of choir and in New
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Jersey there the organization there the
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largest one I know of is njhsa which is
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the um North Jersey homeschoolers
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Association and that under that umbrella
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had a bunch of these separate kind of
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chapters of homeschooling um which
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included co-ops groups all those kinds
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of things little like mini hubs of
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community um and while like we didn't
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focus on the co-op element like as much
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as some other homeschool families did
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like I knew people that used Co-op as
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like the anchor for their academics
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right um we were more like using Co-op
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as our uh like an additional social
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outlet to be honest I think that was
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more of what it was for my mom um so
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that was cool but yeah choir and mime
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and drama like mime was kind of
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intertwined in my drama experience um it
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was very it was very like uh uh driven
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by like like religious smime it was not
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just like for fun necessar same
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yeah so I you know it's funny because
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while I look back on it and I'm like man
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that's so weird like just so weird when
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I it did I did feel like I learned a lot
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about just like even spirituality like
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Concepts and what being connected to
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your faith could look like not always
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mine but like just I don't know it's
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it's some it's a very obviously unique
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way to like share what we believe in
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through mime which is so weird but as a
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kid I think it was helpful for me in a
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weird way yeah it's really the first
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time I'm thinking of that like that but
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no I I I totally agree with you I
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think it was yeah it was a situation for
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like my people and and I don't know I
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don't know about your group my group we
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also like we did Bible study as a part
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of it and then also like there's the
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Outreach aspect of like we were
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performing at youth groups and for drama
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centers and um I mean we also did like
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veteran stuff too but a lot of the
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Christmas story was like a big part of
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what we did you know and and that kind
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of thing and telling that story and so
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as someone who yeah was growing up a
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young Christian it was very important to
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kind of have that aspect of it and I
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sometimes forget that like oh that's
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like you know being on Mission now I
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look back on it and I I cringe at some
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of the stuff but you know at the same
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time it's like you know and and if
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you're listening and you're like what
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are they talking about like go look up
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Hop On YouTube look up life house uh
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every Everything by life house like skit
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or something like that that is a great
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example of like the type of stuff we
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were doing to all types of different
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music and songs and stuff but you know
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yeah an interesting time for sure yeah I
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mean and I should I should include that
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like and I don't know if this was I
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would imagine it was like pretty unique
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to our Homeschool Group but um so we had
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in in like the high school program with
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choir and mime there was like mime was
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kind of the the base level of the drama
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group and there were these like Elite
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groups kind of like uh in choirs you
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know how you have Corral or like special
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ensembles right we had that sort of
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thing for drama and one of those was
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this like traveling um acting group that
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would perform like in blackbox theater
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The Life of
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Christ in a show so okay and we yeah
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like I did I auditioned for that that
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was like the height of drama like in
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high school was like if you get into
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that like that's legit and uh it was
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such a unique experience I could talk
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about that for an entire episode but
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anyway we toured we went to Ireland for
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a tour and we toured in parts of we
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actually went to California for a little
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bit and also like randomly just churches
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in the midwest just same kind of thing
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like perform we we would perform their
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like you know official like hourlong
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performance or whatever and then we
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would teach mimes to like the youth
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groups or whatever um yeah super super
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to say the least yeah yeah no we we I
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remember we did we did similar stuff and
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we would travel and I mean we didn't go
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very far I think we mostly stayed in the
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state but but yeah like the the yeah the
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coaching and like yeah going to a youth
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group and then teaching them like oh
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here's how like you do the box and then
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like how you like pretend to like throw
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a ball to each other and stuff um it was
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just so it's so weird it's so weird to
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look back on and I laugh and um yeah I
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think I've successfully pretty much
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wiped the internet of all photos of me
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from that um nice thankfully um so yeah
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those are not going to be coming back up
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anytime soon but so you so it's tied in
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with your drama and choir did you guys
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do other drama stuff as well like was
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there theater and plays involved in
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that you would think but uh so we
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actually did like as far as theater was
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concerned we did like my family would do
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Community Theater like in town um and
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then we'd also our church had their own
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sort of like
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Arts like extracurricular thing that
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they would do actually now I'm wondering
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like what the what was that affiliated
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with because it was at our church but I
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don't really it could have been a
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Homeschool Group thing I'm not totally
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sure about that but um yeah we did plays
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like that kind of thing there but
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primarily my theater experience was um
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actually doing Off Broadway Productions
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in New York um when I was really young
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my Drama teacher in my Homeschool Group
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like the the director of all of those
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programs uh actually before I was even
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in her groups at all she was like a
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friend of my mom's and she came over and
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I guess she told my mom she was like
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janev is really good at storytelling and
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I was like I don't know 12 at the time
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or something and she's like you should
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get her plugged in to um acting stuff my
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mom's like okay and so she recommended
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um at the time it was the Salvation Army
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theater in New York in Time Square and
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uh there was a kids program that was
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affiliated with um ppas which is the
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professional performing arts school in
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New York that was like a high school
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that was just really like performance
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focused um anyway so it's like with
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those kids that go to that school you
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could go audition at the Salvation Army
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theater um so my first production I
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think I was in was susal Jr but um yeah
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and I went on to do like several plays
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with them and it was like a summer
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program that's really where I think I
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got my um you know more like the theater
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people know about musicals and plays and
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actual full-on Productions was there
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yeah my my one of my best friends
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growing up then he his family would do
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backyard we did Summer backyard
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Productions and they had they had a
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circular driveway and in the middle of
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the driveway we'd build a stage and do
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these crazy Productions and so like the
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first one I ever remember was just like
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Sleeping Beauty like Disney and then uh
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when their oldest daughter graduated
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like it was a big deal she was like I
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want to do Beauty and the Beast and it
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was like the first real like legit like
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we didn't just buy shower curtains and
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paint them and hang them up as the
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backdrop like it was like we have like a
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full set and lights and sound and like
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it was intense I remember like watching
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it back now I'm like okay yeah it's
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still like really cringey and very like
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unprofessional but it was at the time it
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was like incredible and and that was
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kind of what gave a lot of us that that
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theater theater bug and and you know a
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lot of us pursued creative passions so I
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mean theater was just like right there
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along with whether it was music or art
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or anything it was just like right there
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in that in that vein and so yeah so I
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totally uh relate to you in that that
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aspect of just like theater being like I
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think just arts in general was just like
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a normal thing and then it was just like
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a big part as well of our of Our Lives
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totally yeah let's jump forward just a
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little bit because I know you you also
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went to school for theater stuff is that
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correct uh oh yeah yeah I studied um
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well I I got in for stage management at
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the University of Evansville in Indiana
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so that they were one of the few
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colleges that had a Bachelor of Science
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Program in the theater industry um
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because most colleges when you go and
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you say you want to do theater they're
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like okay you're going to do performance
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for two years and basically get a
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communications degree and then you'll do
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like a few other theater things for the
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remainder two years or something and I
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was like no I want to do like stage
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management all the way like yeah just
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like I was like I've done enough of this
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acting thing in high school I gotta like
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you know get into the serious business
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backend stuff you know um and that was
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that was something that they focused on
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and they they had an amazing program for
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that but um I ended up switching to
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theater manager instead of stage
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management subtle differences there but
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um yeah switched to theater management
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and so I graduated with a degree in
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theater management with a minor in
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Business Administration so very very on
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the
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nerdy nerdy busy side but no that's
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that's totally fine I mean I went to
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college initially kind of with like more
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performance in mind I wanted to like be
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a musician or be an audio engineer and
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then I switched to the business side as
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well I was like you know you know I
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think once you hear like sometimes how
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much those people make um you know even
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at like 18 19 I was like that's not
00:15:03
enough money to live on and I was like
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but the business people they're rolling
00:15:07
in it um so let's like yeah let's you
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know also like it's a business degree so
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I can walk away and still do other
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things if need be
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but I hope this is in a sore spot but
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like did you end up using that degree
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like did you work in in theater out of
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that yeah yeah no it's not a not a sore
00:15:26
spot I I worked um in at a Broadway
00:15:30
production office or producing office um
00:15:33
in Time Square for about a year um after
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I
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graduated and it was it was a lot it was
00:15:42
it was a lot um I I learned a lot about
00:15:45
myself through that experience and I
00:15:47
think I you know through my journey in
00:15:50
college kind of and then going to that
00:15:52
job which was like the best job like a
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recent graduate with a theater
00:15:57
management degree could possibly get
00:16:00
like I was really really um you know
00:16:04
grateful to have had that job um I just
00:16:07
learned like man like this is not really
00:16:09
quite why I love theater I think I
00:16:13
realized through that experience that
00:16:14
what I really loved about theater was
00:16:16
like Child Development and how how
00:16:19
beneficial it was for me as a kid to
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learn performance and to like you know
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just find myself and my own skin and get
00:16:27
comfortable in front of crowds and just
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build confidence overall and you know
00:16:32
where I was working was like just
00:16:33
totally on the opposite like opposite
00:16:35
end of the spectrum where you're like
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shmoozing to you know investors for the
00:16:41
play and you're like going to fancy
00:16:43
parties and you know managing people's
00:16:46
schedules and it was just another world
00:16:49
totally Another World um yeah so really
00:16:52
Greatful to have experienced that but
00:16:54
yeah I had a definitely a sou searching
00:16:56
moment and ended up pursuing like
00:16:58
graphic design um after that so left
00:17:02
left that but yeah yeah no I think you
00:17:05
brought up a good point there of like
00:17:07
the passions thing and like why we get
00:17:08
into certain things and then like you
00:17:11
know sometimes there there's like a
00:17:13
pivot in there too of like just kind of
00:17:15
like you know maybe this isn't why I
00:17:18
wanted to do it you know and like and
00:17:20
that kind of thing and I think that's uh
00:17:24
it's a tough one I think sometimes to
00:17:26
deal with and like wrestle with is just
00:17:28
that like this thing that was is like a
00:17:31
creative Outlet or something that you
00:17:32
know shaped me then now is like your job
00:17:35
or it pivots into like like you said
00:17:37
like it pivoted from you were really
00:17:39
into understanding how performance had
00:17:41
shaped you into a person and kind of
00:17:43
like given you your own voice to then
00:17:45
like okay now I'm smoing at a party just
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trying to get investors to like you know
00:17:49
pay our bills essentially like that's a
00:17:51
very big pivot there and so but I think
00:17:54
that's cool it's cool to also recognize
00:17:55
that within yourself and say okay like
00:17:57
this isn't really why I wanted to do
00:17:59
that so yeah it was it was rough um
00:18:03
although you know I will say that my my
00:18:06
parents like my dad specifically really
00:18:09
drove home this point growing up like
00:18:12
he's like you're not he he literally
00:18:13
told me he's like you're not going to
00:18:14
end up doing what you go to college for
00:18:18
you're just not I was like what do you
00:18:20
mean like what are you talking about
00:18:22
he's like it's just not going to happen
00:18:24
like everybody Chang like everybody all
00:18:26
these any successful person like they
00:18:28
say they started one thing and they
00:18:29
ended up like took this windy pass to a
00:18:31
totally different career um and so I I
00:18:35
wasn't like I guess it was concerning to
00:18:38
a degree because you're like you are
00:18:40
having this personal experience of like
00:18:41
wow I guess I'm not into this you know
00:18:44
but at the same time I did have this
00:18:46
piece about it that like this is okay
00:18:48
because this is what's like supposed to
00:18:49
happen or this happens to a lot of
00:18:51
people or I'm GNA find something else
00:18:53
it's not like oh my gosh I wasted like
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four years of my life like you're going
00:18:57
to use what I learned how I learned it
00:18:59
in something else regardless so yeah
00:19:02
yeah I think that's a good shaping too
00:19:04
of like thinking about your college
00:19:06
experience because I think there's a lot
00:19:09
of people right now who kind of make the
00:19:11
argument of like college is so
00:19:12
unnecessary and nobody should go to
00:19:14
college and it's a waste of time and a
00:19:16
waste of money and that's yeah yes and
00:19:18
no right like it's it's I think it's a
00:19:22
it's a shaping moment in your life of
00:19:24
like some people need it to like grow up
00:19:26
and yeah it can be a really expensive
00:19:28
lesson but but it like it's like at the
00:19:32
same time it prep it can prepare you for
00:19:36
like later in life not everybody needs
00:19:38
that some people it's trade school some
00:19:39
people it's just getting a job right out
00:19:41
of the bat but um I think that's a cool
00:19:44
kind of frame to have on it of like hey
00:19:46
it was like kind of a necessary piece to
00:19:48
the path to get where you are
00:19:50
today yeah and I I think for
00:19:53
me especially College was important to
00:19:56
have those
00:20:00
like to overcome some like inpersonal
00:20:04
hurdles that you normally probably would
00:20:07
get in a in a school experience with a
00:20:09
lot of different kinds of people um that
00:20:11
you don't always get when you're
00:20:12
homeschooled I think in college dealing
00:20:15
with things like you know fights with
00:20:18
roommates you know or whatever like
00:20:21
living with people um like uh I was I
00:20:24
was a part of an AC capella group in
00:20:26
college and I had to like fire a girl
00:20:30
from that group like there was just
00:20:32
there were things that happened that
00:20:35
were difficult for me in college and
00:20:37
those things that aren't really just
00:20:39
like academics or you know oh you're
00:20:41
dorming or oh you're far away from home
00:20:43
like yeah yeah yeah but like there's
00:20:44
these other little little lessons and
00:20:47
these weird little pockets of my college
00:20:49
experience that I think really helped me
00:20:53
just become just feel more comfortable
00:20:56
in in myself I mean I always felt pretty
00:20:58
conf confident in myself but I think
00:21:00
like giving me that okay I can do this
00:21:02
on my own and I can have these hard
00:21:03
conversations and and you know get
00:21:06
through it okay and and make good
00:21:08
friends and stick with them for like you
00:21:10
know the college experience and stuff so
00:21:13
that's cool that's cool yeah I think
00:21:15
college again is one of those things
00:21:16
where I think a lot of homeschool maybe
00:21:18
less so now but I definitely know like
00:21:21
growing up College was like this kind
00:21:24
of almost unachievable thing it felt
00:21:26
like for homeschoolers where it was like
00:21:28
how how are you going to make this
00:21:29
happen when like you arguably don't have
00:21:33
a education um which is but
00:21:37
it's
00:21:38
yeah I don't know if you had that
00:21:40
experience too of just like I there were
00:21:42
so many people I saw in my life who were
00:21:44
just like oh well like how are you gonna
00:21:45
get into college and how are you gonna
00:21:46
do this like I'm so thankful I had
00:21:48
parents who were like if that's what you
00:21:50
want like we're gonna make it happen you
00:21:51
know we're gonna figure it out together
00:21:53
and like I got into every school I
00:21:56
applied for because it was just like
00:21:57
that's awesome that's just what we did
00:22:00
we figured it out you know and I'm not a
00:22:02
genius so like if I could do it like you
00:22:05
know I I'm the average Joe over here
00:22:08
like I you know if I can do it I think
00:22:10
so many more people can can do it if if
00:22:12
that's the path they want to go down but
00:22:14
did you have anything like that did you
00:22:15
have voices like that in your head or or
00:22:17
in your life that were kind of like
00:22:19
maybe pushing that Narrative of like how
00:22:20
are you going to do this you
00:22:23
know this is this is kind of sad but
00:22:26
honestly like if I ever had that feeling
00:22:29
it was from like members of my extended
00:22:33
family um that was like a Common Thread
00:22:37
in my schooling that like just the rest
00:22:40
of our extended family was like very
00:22:42
skeptical of the choices that my parents
00:22:44
were making to homeschool us um so there
00:22:48
was that it there was doubt around but
00:22:52
it wasn't the predominant voice and I
00:22:54
think in a in a way that those people
00:22:56
that were like concerned worried or
00:22:59
something just kind of motivated me to
00:23:01
get it done you know like no I can do
00:23:03
this like um yeah but I I will say like
00:23:08
my parents were very like really
00:23:09
supportive with the college like
00:23:11
experience my mom especially like I mean
00:23:14
she we went on a trip I I was it's so
00:23:17
funny actually now that I'm talking to
00:23:18
you like all of the ties with like
00:23:20
California because I really wanted to go
00:23:22
to school in California so badly and so
00:23:25
my mom like I just like California was
00:23:27
like oh it's just like fun and like
00:23:29
Sunny like and you know beaches like I
00:23:33
don't know I was just so enamored with
00:23:35
it and um uh so my mom was like well
00:23:38
let's go like let's go to California and
00:23:40
like go on a bunch of college tours I
00:23:43
went to um like a Biola University like
00:23:46
like orientation like week that was so
00:23:49
fun made such cool friends there and
00:23:52
like went to a bunch of schools and
00:23:53
ended up going to Indiana school so yeah
00:23:58
just really funny but yeah my mom was
00:24:00
always really supportive and so was my
00:24:01
dad and there was just not it was a
00:24:04
different kind
00:24:06
of uh push though I guess it didn't feel
00:24:10
like pressure it wasn't like you like
00:24:12
have to go to college or you have to do
00:24:14
well or you got to be super smart or we
00:24:16
want you to you know I don't know uh
00:24:19
graduate with flying colors you know but
00:24:23
um I do remember my dad being like he
00:24:27
just he's like look I I don't I know you
00:24:29
don't need a degree to be smart but the
00:24:32
truth is and this is true for when he
00:24:34
was in the workforce it was like having
00:24:36
a degree did give you a leg up in a lot
00:24:40
of situations and he's like I just want
00:24:42
you to have the tool it's like it's just
00:24:44
a tool you know for your for your future
00:24:47
he's like I don't really see this as the
00:24:50
end all Beall to determine your
00:24:52
intelligence or anything like that it
00:24:53
was just like the degree will help you
00:24:56
and that was pretty much it so they
00:24:57
didn't really care what I went for I
00:24:59
mean I went for theater so they weren't
00:25:02
like being picky about that they were
00:25:04
really supportive of what I was
00:25:05
interested in
00:25:06
and yeah I don't know if that answers
00:25:09
your your question it really does you
00:25:11
know what's funny too is you talked
00:25:13
about like I don't know why this stuck
00:25:15
out to me so much but you talked about
00:25:17
like the being wanting to maybe go to
00:25:19
school in California and being kind of a
00:25:20
like the beach and stuff my dad was from
00:25:23
the Midwest and he moved to California
00:25:25
to go to college and then just got stuck
00:25:27
in California was just like I love that
00:25:29
but he moved that same reason where he
00:25:30
was like I want to be by the beach I
00:25:32
want to get a tan he was just like I
00:25:34
don't want the cold anymore like that
00:25:35
kind of a thing so when it came to me
00:25:37
going to college it was funny because
00:25:39
originally I was like I'm not leaving
00:25:40
the state of California and then it was
00:25:42
like I'm not leaving the west coast and
00:25:43
then it was like okay maybe I'm not not
00:25:45
leaving like the west side of the
00:25:46
country and then it was like okay I'm
00:25:48
moving to Illinois and that first real
00:25:51
big cold snap of the Year where
00:25:52
everything froze and I had to walk to
00:25:54
class and I slipped on ice and I like
00:25:56
cut my hand open and I was just like
00:25:57
sitting on the ground and I was just
00:26:00
like in the snow like bleeding and
00:26:03
Frozen and I was just like I hate my
00:26:06
life right now like what am I doing yeah
00:26:08
um but I I end I do love the Midwest
00:26:11
like it's not you know that's not the
00:26:13
on the Midwest I do love it I like
00:26:15
but it's it's so funny to me that I was
00:26:18
like I'm so determined this is what it's
00:26:20
going to be and then like like your
00:26:21
point I just ended up where I just
00:26:24
didn't want to go kind of a deal like
00:26:26
just that's where that's where it just
00:26:27
settled out to
00:26:29
um yeah so yeah there's something kind
00:26:33
of I don't know there's something kind
00:26:35
of fun about it too where it's just I I
00:26:37
think I'm glad I went to school where I
00:26:39
went to school also because it gave me P
00:26:41
the perception of like this is what a
00:26:43
different part of the country was like
00:26:45
and having grown up exclusively in
00:26:47
California I don't know if you grew up
00:26:48
exclusively in New Jersey but like it
00:26:51
gave me my first touch of like this is
00:26:53
the outside world and like not just this
00:26:56
is not me living at home but this is
00:26:58
like a different state this is a
00:26:59
different part of the country altogether
00:27:01
and it gave me a lot more confidence to
00:27:04
then after be like I can move anywhere I
00:27:06
want and be
00:27:09
okay yeah yeah I
00:27:13
think the whole like being away from
00:27:16
home thing is an interesting one in the
00:27:20
homeschool Community I mean you
00:27:21
mentioned this about like your friends
00:27:25
kind of like or well sorry you didn't
00:27:27
mention that in this podcast
00:27:29
that's okay we just got done recording
00:27:31
my intervie on your show yeah no we are
00:27:33
all good so if you want to hear that
00:27:36
part of the conversation you're gonna
00:27:38
have to tune in to homeschooled uh there
00:27:40
you go that that was my teaser my teaser
00:27:43
plug um no but I think
00:27:47
there as I definitely had a feeling of
00:27:50
like I feel like I'm like
00:27:52
abandoning my life that that did come up
00:27:56
when I was like thinking about leaving
00:27:58
for college um and then but I also had
00:28:02
really supportive friends that were just
00:28:04
like that's so cool like that you're
00:28:06
going away like good for you or I think
00:28:08
the weird side of that is always like
00:28:10
the the statement after that is always
00:28:12
like I could never and then you want to
00:28:14
be like yes you could like yeah you you
00:28:16
can actually um but anyway uh yeah but
00:28:22
really like feeling like I I could be
00:28:25
okay wherever you are like in proximity
00:28:27
to your home and stuff like that was um
00:28:31
I didn't I didn't struggle with that as
00:28:33
much because I had some experiences
00:28:35
earlier like preh high school where my
00:28:37
like my parents sent me to France like
00:28:39
with one of their family friends and I
00:28:42
was by myself as a kid and my dad like
00:28:44
also helped like me take a bus into the
00:28:48
city when I was 12 like by myself you
00:28:51
know um there's a lot of moments like
00:28:54
that where you're just like okay this is
00:28:56
a little scary I'm somewhere I'm not
00:28:58
used to but I'm I'm going to be okay and
00:29:01
when you end up okay like when you're
00:29:03
building that confidence over like some
00:29:05
even those small experiences excuse me I
00:29:08
think going to college and being away
00:29:11
from home was like no big deal to me
00:29:13
eventually because I was just like cool
00:29:16
but it was a culture shock for sure the
00:29:18
Midwest from from New Jersey it's a
00:29:22
different flavor that's for sure um yeah
00:29:24
yeah no love the Midwest yeah still
00:29:27
unsure if I whatever moov back there but
00:29:29
yeah it's it's a culture shock let's say
00:29:31
that
00:29:33
um you brought up going to France that's
00:29:36
super cool was that obviously you went
00:29:39
it sounds like with family
00:29:41
or did you go I'm sorry no no it's okay
00:29:46
yeah it's a little
00:29:47
weird but my my parents had good friends
00:29:52
um I I'm actually not sure where they
00:29:54
met but anyway they were just friends in
00:29:56
our family friends in our life who were
00:29:58
um from France like originally and moved
00:30:01
to New York worked in New York um had
00:30:04
like a best friend when I was a kid and
00:30:06
we would always hang out and you know do
00:30:08
Playhouse and stuff like that um and we
00:30:10
would actually record like little movies
00:30:12
on our like dad's camcs and stuff like
00:30:15
that it was fun but yeah so we had like
00:30:17
this close like family friendship and
00:30:20
they had um uh friends in France that
00:30:25
had another girl like our age like um
00:30:28
her name was Eloise which is like very
00:30:30
so funny it's like so stereotypical like
00:30:32
I went to visit my friend Eloise in
00:30:34
France um but yeah um to be honest I
00:30:38
have to ask my parents like where this
00:30:40
originally came from this idea but I
00:30:42
think my mom my mom studied Parisian
00:30:45
French um in in school and my dad is
00:30:48
Canadian and I think they just wanted me
00:30:50
to be immersed in the French language a
00:30:53
little bit more I grew up bilingual and
00:30:54
then was losing it a little bit when I
00:30:56
was in my like I don't know 8 through 10
00:30:59
years old ages and um so when I was like
00:31:02
11 they were like oh you should just you
00:31:04
should go visit and you'll have this
00:31:07
like experience where you're speaking
00:31:09
English and helping their daughter learn
00:31:11
another language and she'll help you and
00:31:14
you'll be in France so you'll be hearing
00:31:15
French all the time so it was it was
00:31:17
really like that immersive experience
00:31:18
and I was there for like three weeks but
00:31:20
no I
00:31:21
flew there with our family friend and I
00:31:24
flew back with Eloise but it was just us
00:31:27
as kids like flying as like miners um
00:31:30
right which I just don't think anyone
00:31:32
would ever do today like I just can't I
00:31:36
can't imagine I'm like I'm not letting
00:31:37
my kids on to playing by themselves but
00:31:39
um it's just different definitely uh
00:31:42
yeah definitely a little scary did you
00:31:44
guys have at least like the the airplane
00:31:46
or the air uh Airline guardian or
00:31:48
whatever yeah yeah totally yeah um
00:31:51
that's cool and and was this like a
00:31:54
summer trip or like did you go like
00:31:55
during the school year or oh that's a
00:31:58
good question it must have been during
00:32:01
the school year because I did go to
00:32:04
school with Eloise for some time so that
00:32:06
was another like kind of pseudo Public
00:32:09
School experience that I had but it was
00:32:10
in another country um yeah yeah so it
00:32:15
must have been during the school year
00:32:16
but I think I only went to her like
00:32:18
classes for like one of the weeks I
00:32:21
don't think I was there like the whole
00:32:22
time um but really fun fun experience
00:32:25
though oh my gosh yeah it was amazing
00:32:28
like I I'm so thankful for that I mean
00:32:31
it was a wild it was a wild time it was
00:32:33
a time like I definitely felt alone a
00:32:36
lot because when you can't you don't
00:32:38
have anyone else who speaks your
00:32:39
language like really near you and you're
00:32:42
a kid it was there was definitely
00:32:44
moments where I was missing home that's
00:32:46
probably the first like really feeling
00:32:48
away from home and like the wish my mom
00:32:49
was here kind of um ideas but like again
00:32:54
it's like it's okay made it made it
00:32:56
through you know um figure it out but
00:33:00
definitely built some resilience for me
00:33:01
from that perspective so I I want to
00:33:04
shift gears just a little bit yeah
00:33:07
and so now we're a little bit far
00:33:11
removed from our homeschool experiences
00:33:13
now and
00:33:15
um but now we're bringing them back into
00:33:17
our lives through our podcasts and
00:33:19
through our conversations that we're
00:33:20
having and stuff and so I was wondering
00:33:22
you asked me this question when I was on
00:33:24
your show about what kind of led to you
00:33:26
wanting to start your podcast podcast
00:33:28
and what was kind of like the impotence
00:33:29
for that so um so yeah I mean hit me
00:33:32
what what was kind of what were you
00:33:34
thinking oh my gosh to be honest this is
00:33:37
like talking about homeschooling has
00:33:40
been on my mind for years I just was
00:33:44
like do I need to write a book do I need
00:33:45
to do like I I think originally I was
00:33:47
like I'm G to write a book about my
00:33:50
experience um and then you know that
00:33:52
kind of fell off I was like thinking
00:33:53
about it and I don't know and uh the
00:33:56
podcast thing came up because I was like
00:33:58
o I want to I just want to talk to more
00:33:59
homeschoolers I kept feeling like oh man
00:34:01
I'm like getting these like nuggets of
00:34:03
like what like from my friends that I
00:34:04
knew so well like I thought like you
00:34:07
talked about it the assumption that like
00:34:08
you're all kind of believing in the same
00:34:10
thing and doing the same thing like when
00:34:12
you're kids in the same group or
00:34:13
whatever and finding out that that was
00:34:15
very much like not the case um as I
00:34:17
talked to some of my close friends I was
00:34:19
like man I'd love to like talk to other
00:34:21
homeschoolers too so I was like how do I
00:34:23
like reach other people um and so that's
00:34:26
where the podcast idea came out but um a
00:34:30
lot of it's just like I mean you
00:34:32
experienced it too like
00:34:34
seeing the misconceptions firsthand when
00:34:38
you're talking to somebody like as an
00:34:39
adult and being like wow like that's
00:34:41
really what you think like homeschooling
00:34:43
is oh man like let me like let me help
00:34:45
you out with that or something um and
00:34:48
then on the flip side I've run into a
00:34:50
lot of like I'm I'm I'm 32 I'm at the
00:34:52
age now have friends who are having kids
00:34:54
and and they have this like super
00:34:58
idealistic idea of homeschooling
00:35:00
sometimes we're like that' be so fun
00:35:03
like I just love spending time with my
00:35:05
family all day that'd be great and I'm
00:35:07
always like ah like just a couple things
00:35:10
you might want to think about you
00:35:12
know yeah let me let me burst your uh
00:35:16
balloon just a little bit here on some
00:35:18
of these thoughts yeah totally no I
00:35:20
think something that has come up on the
00:35:24
show a few times is this idea too where
00:35:27
specifically with I think the home
00:35:29
homeschool moms tend to carry the the
00:35:31
brunt of it right cuz Dad
00:35:33
stereotypically Dad is you know at the
00:35:35
office right and he's he's making money
00:35:37
to pay the bills but um it one of the
00:35:41
things that we have talked about on the
00:35:43
show before is the idea that like mom
00:35:46
when she becomes a homeschooled mom not
00:35:48
only does she have all of her duties as
00:35:51
just like Mom right and taking care of
00:35:53
the house and like again this is
00:35:55
speaking from a very like you know
00:35:57
traditional this is what mom stays home
00:35:59
and takes care of the house perspective
00:36:01
but that tends to be a lot of what
00:36:03
homeschooling kind of a lot of families
00:36:05
who do homeschooling kind of hold that
00:36:07
so you know all of a sudden she goes
00:36:09
from not only just having to take care
00:36:10
of the house but also then like every
00:36:12
single kid and worrying about their
00:36:13
education it is a full-time freaking job
00:36:17
all of a sudden and I think one of you
00:36:20
talked about misconceptions I think one
00:36:21
of the misconceptions is like oh it's
00:36:23
like super easy it's like no it's not
00:36:25
you know it is it is
00:36:28
work that is extremely hard I mean when
00:36:32
my mom got to retire like we joked like
00:36:35
you're you're retired now like your
00:36:37
career is over um and and she's like
00:36:40
yeah like literally just like when it
00:36:42
was done when my sister graduated she's
00:36:44
like I just relaxed I like went on
00:36:46
vacation I was just like it was it was
00:36:48
over it was done with um that's great
00:36:52
glad she went on vacation that's awesome
00:36:53
I feel like not yeah I might have made
00:36:56
that part up go on more vacations now
00:36:59
that we're not in the house let's say
00:37:00
that
00:37:02
um but I think it's it's also this
00:37:06
interesting thing to be a homeschool
00:37:07
parent and kind of have to juggle both
00:37:11
because somebody who sends their kid to
00:37:13
Traditional
00:37:14
School they they get a break right
00:37:17
they're just mom and dad they're not
00:37:19
also teacher and so I don't know if you
00:37:22
had this struggle at all but like the
00:37:24
struggle of like Mom and Dad maybe not
00:37:26
being able to turn off like the teacher
00:37:28
part or the parent part and kind of like
00:37:31
segment them out a little bit because it
00:37:32
can it's really easy for those lines to
00:37:34
get really blurred yeah I have a lot to
00:37:37
say about that
00:37:40
um yeah it's it's I feel like it's a
00:37:44
little more convoluted just from my
00:37:46
experience because I don't think that my
00:37:48
mom
00:37:50
ever like she wasn't trying to be like
00:37:53
okay I'm only teacher now like she never
00:37:55
did that technically right
00:37:58
and I think some some parents do that
00:38:00
and and are very good at that like from
00:38:02
this hour to this hour you know I'm I'm
00:38:06
you know at the front of the class
00:38:07
telling you what to do um but that that
00:38:09
really wasn't the case and our like like
00:38:10
I mentioned before it was more like a
00:38:12
fluid experience homeschooling um but
00:38:16
that said I like I did it just took a
00:38:20
lot out of my mom I would say like as a
00:38:22
whole like not necessarily even just
00:38:23
like the being the teacher and then the
00:38:25
mom and then switching hats it was just
00:38:26
like all of it together just the fact
00:38:28
that she was doing all of
00:38:30
it she wasn't like left with much at the
00:38:33
end of the day you know like and right I
00:38:36
I don't know if this is being the oldest
00:38:38
thing and just like seeing like oh
00:38:39
there's just always something to do with
00:38:40
my younger siblings or someone needs
00:38:42
help with something or I just I
00:38:44
definitely didn't feel
00:38:46
like as emotionally supported like I
00:38:50
never I never felt like the kid that
00:38:51
could like oh I'm just going to go like
00:38:53
cry with my mom about this thing like
00:38:55
that was just not there wasn't enough
00:38:57
hours in the day for things like that it
00:39:00
felt like um so as far as the like
00:39:03
having a mom versus having a teacher I
00:39:06
do like I I sometimes have to you know
00:39:10
mourn that part of my experience that I
00:39:12
didn't feel like I really had my mom by
00:39:16
like very much like available to me
00:39:19
specifically um which has to be an
00:39:21
annoying thing to hear as a mom who is
00:39:23
like home all the time with your kids
00:39:26
which is crazy but um yeah it was just
00:39:29
it was just a lot I think I think more
00:39:31
of that was like a big family thing um
00:39:34
but I saw it more in my siblings for
00:39:36
sure the like Mom versus teacher aspect
00:39:40
and there are moments where it's pretty
00:39:43
painful like as a kid you know because
00:39:45
my mom could be getting really
00:39:47
frustrated as a
00:39:49
teacher
00:39:50
but you know I think if she was only the
00:39:54
mom she'd be having a different reaction
00:39:56
and that
00:39:58
I think that was hard to manage I
00:40:00
remember one time oh my gosh I I did not
00:40:03
like math at all like growing up and I
00:40:06
might attribute it to this moment in my
00:40:09
life when I was my mom was trying to
00:40:11
help me with math and it was it was just
00:40:14
killing me I was not understanding what
00:40:16
was going on and she was trying to help
00:40:18
me and she was getting frustrated I was
00:40:20
getting frustrated like and you know I'm
00:40:23
crying and she's like oh my gosh like I
00:40:25
just don't understand like what is you
00:40:27
know why why is this so difficult she
00:40:29
ends up calling back when you could like
00:40:31
call the owners of the curriculum she
00:40:35
like calls the curriculum creators or
00:40:37
something and it's like am I like are we
00:40:39
going through the right book or
00:40:40
something like what it like basically
00:40:43
like should my daughter like be
00:40:45
understanding this or not which is like
00:40:48
it's a lot to unpack anyway but then the
00:40:51
curriculum is like uh no ma'am you're
00:40:53
actually trying to teach her two years
00:40:55
of math like in one
00:40:57
year like I was like I had already done
00:41:02
what I needed to
00:41:03
do and that was just like oh my gosh
00:41:06
like that was horrible it's a horrible
00:41:08
experience as a kid because then like as
00:41:10
a kid you you don't know how to
00:41:11
compartmentalize like this is my mom and
00:41:13
this is my teacher I don't know like but
00:41:16
that was like I look back on that I'm
00:41:18
like that was definitely just my mom
00:41:20
really having a breakdown as a teacher
00:41:22
not as a mom you know um yeah and it
00:41:26
bums me out though because the
00:41:27
interpretation as a kid is like oh my
00:41:29
mom is like disappointed in me and
00:41:31
thinks I'm stupid or something you know
00:41:34
um yeah so I think that that's just like
00:41:38
the flip side of what you brought up I
00:41:40
don't know if that still applies but no
00:41:42
totally I think you brought up a really
00:41:44
good point of also as a kid not being
00:41:47
able as a kid not being able to separate
00:41:50
mom versus teacher right where it's like
00:41:53
yeah maybe Mom and Dad kind of have to
00:41:55
do that sometimes like my dad was also
00:41:57
like the principal right and he's like
00:41:59
sometimes you're the principal and then
00:42:00
sometimes you're just Dad right and it's
00:42:02
like that's a weird thing cuz principal
00:42:05
you only see the principal when you're
00:42:07
in trouble that was you know and so what
00:42:10
kind of data are we getting right now
00:42:11
and um you know which is it um but yeah
00:42:16
I think that's a good point too as like
00:42:19
as a parent to
00:42:21
like how do you I I don't even I don't
00:42:23
think either of us have the answer to
00:42:24
this but like how do you communicate
00:42:26
that to your kid of like and how do you
00:42:28
set up your homeschool structure in such
00:42:29
a way that they understand that it's
00:42:31
like okay like now it's like I'm putting
00:42:34
on my teacher hat we're going to be like
00:42:35
teacher time and this is like very
00:42:37
separate from like you know now I'm
00:42:39
Mommy and and daddy you know it's like
00:42:43
very it's an it's just an interesting
00:42:45
thing that I think is is hard to comp
00:42:47
compartmentalize uh for a kid let alone
00:42:49
for a parent and I you know because the
00:42:51
other thing with homeschooling is like
00:42:53
the the school hours vary it's not a
00:42:56
like oh it's it's not Traditional School
00:42:58
where it's like we start at 7:00 a.m.
00:43:00
and we're done by 3: in the afternoon
00:43:01
like I mean there were days I wasn't
00:43:03
done with school till midnight you know
00:43:05
like right it just is what it is you
00:43:07
just figure it out I mean you you joke
00:43:10
about the Hat thing but I remember like
00:43:12
even when I think about that I'm like I
00:43:13
think a hat would have helped like I
00:43:15
think I think it could have helped
00:43:17
everybody just been like oh sorry just
00:43:19
been like you know this is me as Mom or
00:43:22
this is me as teacher and I'm going to
00:43:24
take take it like have some kind of
00:43:26
visual or physical thing that's like I
00:43:28
am now like fully just your mom but I I
00:43:32
can hear the arguments though in my head
00:43:34
as I'm saying this of of like well you
00:43:37
know you're a whole person and just be
00:43:41
be it all at once and I'm like yeah
00:43:43
that's a great idea but that that alone
00:43:46
like you said is really hard to navigate
00:43:49
when you're trying to be both I mean I
00:43:50
could see myself wanting to
00:43:52
like like if I was a mom just being like
00:43:55
Oh I'm so sorry you're having such a
00:43:56
hard time with this let's just do
00:43:58
something else verus like where a
00:44:00
teacher is like I got to help you figure
00:44:02
this out you know I think it's
00:44:05
interesting too I I recently had a
00:44:06
homeschool mom on who um
00:44:11
she the biggest takeaway I took from the
00:44:13
whole thing was like she she she's like
00:44:16
sometimes you just got to stop and you
00:44:17
got to Vibe out with your kid and like
00:44:20
it's like she's like it's very just like
00:44:22
that hippie mindset of just like my kid
00:44:24
needs me right now as like Mom and I'm
00:44:26
just going to that for them today and
00:44:28
you know what no school is going to
00:44:30
happen but it's okay CU like my kid just
00:44:32
needs me um not not the teacher version
00:44:35
of me and it was cool to talk to her and
00:44:39
and really kind of get a grasp on that
00:44:41
because it was like you know she didn't
00:44:43
do it perfectly but she's like there are
00:44:45
times when I wish I would have just kind
00:44:46
of pushed myself to be like it's okay
00:44:48
like we'll do it tomorrow it's not a big
00:44:50
deal you know this this little thing my
00:44:52
kid just needs me right now and um yeah
00:44:57
you know I yeah that's cool it's a it's
00:45:01
a powerful thing when you can look back
00:45:03
that that's the whole point of this
00:45:03
podcast right it's like kind of let's
00:45:05
look back at some of these things that
00:45:07
maybe you know I would say I don't know
00:45:10
I'll speak for myself here and I'll let
00:45:12
you you know but like I think my
00:45:13
homeschool experience was like overall
00:45:15
very positive and I look back on it
00:45:17
pretty fondly there's a lot of things I
00:45:20
would change but overall I'm like yeah I
00:45:22
think my parents did the best they could
00:45:23
with what they got you know and the
00:45:25
point of me talking about these things
00:45:28
is not to be like oh my parents kind of
00:45:30
suck it's to be like hey can the next
00:45:32
generation of parents maybe learn from
00:45:34
this and say oh let's do it a little bit
00:45:36
differently so totally I don't know
00:45:38
would you categorize your homeschool
00:45:40
experiences like maybe overall like I
00:45:42
viewed as positive or how do how do you
00:45:44
view your overall home school
00:45:46
experience um yeah I I would say it was
00:45:49
mostly positive I do recognize that like
00:45:51
a lot of what made it positive for me is
00:45:57
just how I look at the world and my
00:45:59
personality like I
00:46:01
really uh I enjoyed managing my own time
00:46:05
that was like a really big thing like I
00:46:07
did that for a lot of my homeschool life
00:46:10
I had to like my mom was like had a lot
00:46:12
of siblings and she was preoccupied
00:46:14
doing other stuff and there were days
00:46:15
where my mom's just like here you gotta
00:46:17
you got to do this on your own you know
00:46:19
um let me know if you have questions but
00:46:21
downstairs changing diapers or something
00:46:23
you know um just busy but like that was
00:46:26
one of the things things that I remember
00:46:28
having a really hard time with in
00:46:30
college was that I felt like I could not
00:46:32
manage my own time because I had to have
00:46:34
like my butt in a seat during a class
00:46:36
time when I was like oh but I feel like
00:46:38
I could really work on this other
00:46:40
project right now but like if I if I'm
00:46:41
not physically in this classroom then
00:46:44
I'm not going to get a good grade or
00:46:46
yeah it was kind of kind of interesting
00:46:48
but yeah I would definitely say my
00:46:50
homeschooling experience was overall
00:46:52
positive I think
00:46:54
um you know there's definitely some I
00:46:57
wish were different in my like family
00:46:59
life that would have made it maybe like
00:47:03
easier for my mom and like just going
00:47:05
back to like the kind of parent
00:47:07
struggles I think a lot of that has to
00:47:09
do with the community around you too um
00:47:12
like your parents support around them um
00:47:16
more so than like your kids having
00:47:18
friends like you having people to lean
00:47:20
on and I think my mom did have a really
00:47:22
good support system but I I think there
00:47:24
was also sometimes a tone of like
00:47:28
watch out like you got to do school
00:47:30
every day you know kind of like what
00:47:32
you're describing the difference of you
00:47:34
know they're they're not going to get
00:47:35
everything they're supposed to if you
00:47:36
don't make sure to finish this textbook
00:47:38
by Thursday or these these pressures can
00:47:42
also come from those communities and I
00:47:44
think that's why you have to be really
00:47:45
selective with like who you align with
00:47:49
um because yeah there's just a lot of
00:47:51
that I watched my mom really hone in her
00:47:57
close friends through the decade that
00:47:59
well I guess she homeschooled longer but
00:48:01
for my decade of homeschool I watched it
00:48:03
go from
00:48:06
this I don't want to say it was always
00:48:07
broad but it was kind of this broad
00:48:09
group of people to by the end it was
00:48:11
like these like my best friends some of
00:48:15
some of their parents were my parents
00:48:17
best friends others were not you know
00:48:20
and to your point I think it was just
00:48:22
this kind of
00:48:24
continual you know filtering out like
00:48:27
those voices that were pushing like this
00:48:29
thing that I don't agree with you know
00:48:32
like whether it's I got to be teaching
00:48:33
my kid every single day or whether it's
00:48:35
you know whether it's religious or this
00:48:38
particular whatever they filtering down
00:48:40
to like these are the core people that
00:48:42
I'm like super tight with and we all
00:48:44
kind of align enough that we're good and
00:48:46
we can like support each other so I
00:48:50
don't know like do do you feel like your
00:48:52
mom or your parents kind of did any of
00:48:53
that filtering through your your time as
00:48:55
a homeschooler or
00:48:57
[Music]
00:49:00
um yes I'm trying like my mom was a very
00:49:05
like polarizing person so I think in
00:49:08
general her friend group like her
00:49:10
friends usually Windle down you know
00:49:12
what I mean because it's like you got to
00:49:14
find the people that are really going to
00:49:15
stick with her you know because she was
00:49:18
just she was she was a lot um in like in
00:49:22
a lot of good ways but yeah so I I did
00:49:24
watch like okay like this doesn't really
00:49:26
really drive and this doesn't really
00:49:28
drive and my mom's like finding those
00:49:29
like core people for sure um yeah it's
00:49:35
It's Tricky though
00:49:36
because man there's also you're in a
00:49:39
small community and I remember there was
00:49:41
like parents that are just like these
00:49:42
loud negative voices that like even if
00:49:46
they you're not their best friend um
00:49:49
they're like on the board for whatever
00:49:52
Co-op that your kids happen to go to and
00:49:55
there is like those drama that drama
00:49:59
exists that I think a lot of people are
00:50:00
used to with like public and private
00:50:01
school does happen in homeschooling and
00:50:04
I think it's unfortunate because I think
00:50:06
it's just so against the whole point of
00:50:09
homeschooling which is like to celebrate
00:50:11
everyone's individual reasons for doing
00:50:13
it and way of doing it but um that was
00:50:17
something that stuck out to me as I was
00:50:18
being homeschooled actually sorry this
00:50:19
is a little bit of a tangent but I felt
00:50:22
like there were some parents that were
00:50:23
like trying so hard to recreate the
00:50:26
Public School
00:50:27
experience to the point where I'm like
00:50:29
why are you doing this you know yeah
00:50:32
like why' you choose to homeschool if
00:50:34
you're like trying to make this exactly
00:50:36
like that I don't I don't get it as
00:50:38
someone who had parents who served on
00:50:40
the board of our
00:50:43
group it's been interesting to kind of
00:50:46
dissect with them like why were done why
00:50:49
were things done a certain way right
00:50:51
it's like we didn't allow like if you um
00:50:54
did Charter School charter school kids
00:50:56
were not allowed in our group um and and
00:51:00
part of it is there's people who had
00:51:01
very strong stances on that right and
00:51:03
then it's like okay and and I get it you
00:51:05
got to draw lines at some point right
00:51:07
but it's there were these things that
00:51:09
was always really interesting in as kids
00:51:10
and like people we've talked to of like
00:51:13
well why like you know we had school
00:51:15
dances well like the girls had this
00:51:17
crazy dress code that I say crazy but it
00:51:20
seems it it was a little bit borderline
00:51:24
abusive and and the guys really did have
00:51:26
a dress code to some degree and so it's
00:51:28
like you know how do those things get
00:51:30
made and how do those get shaped and who
00:51:32
is the loud voices and who has the
00:51:34
strongest opinions here and why are we
00:51:36
subjecting ourselves to this and for the
00:51:38
parents who disagree with that like what
00:51:41
you know how do they make their voice HT
00:51:42
and and all that kind of things and yeah
00:51:44
so to your point I think it is an
00:51:46
interesting thing to deal with those
00:51:47
dramas because yeah they do happen uh in
00:51:50
the H School world as well yeah totally
00:51:53
it's like yeah we're not exempt from
00:51:55
that yeah yeah for sure yeah well you
00:51:58
have perceptions of like certain
00:52:00
families because you learn about you
00:52:02
know somebody's take that's maybe a
00:52:04
little bit different than yours right so
00:52:05
then you I don't know about you I viewed
00:52:07
other kids as like oh well like their
00:52:08
parents hate this or their parents stand
00:52:10
for this or whatever and it's like it's
00:52:12
like you know I can't be friends with
00:52:14
you anymore it's like well that's so
00:52:16
dumb and stupid but you know yeah I
00:52:19
don't know yeah yeah no it it was a
00:52:22
thing there it can be divisive as which
00:52:25
is surprising when you think about home
00:52:26
schooling because it's like oh this is
00:52:27
such a niche thing and all of you guys
00:52:28
decide to do it so yay you all get to be
00:52:30
in a club and it's like it's a lot of a
00:52:33
lot of different different opinions on a
00:52:35
lot of things even within the homeschool
00:52:38
community so you know you brought up
00:52:41
like you know your friends now some of
00:52:43
them are they're having kids they're
00:52:44
starting to look at education and and
00:52:48
they're like asking oh maybe I should
00:52:50
homeschool my kids right and you have a
00:52:51
an ability to be a voice to them of like
00:52:54
okay hey here's the experience I had you
00:52:56
know take these things into
00:52:57
consideration so when you're talking to
00:53:00
these people like what are you
00:53:02
recommending homeschooling are you you
00:53:04
know what what do you I don't know is
00:53:06
there anything in particular that you
00:53:07
say to them or is it a lot of that kind
00:53:09
of debunking of some of the myths or the
00:53:12
perceptions around homeschooling that
00:53:14
you're seeing like most of the
00:53:15
conversation revolve
00:53:17
around yeah that's an interesting
00:53:19
question I personally I've had an
00:53:21
aversion to like recommending anything
00:53:24
to my friends that are parents because I
00:53:26
don't have kids and I'm just like very
00:53:28
sensitive to like all of this just
00:53:30
social media everybody's telling you how
00:53:32
to do everything now um especially when
00:53:35
you're a parent I quite frankly I can't
00:53:39
I can't understand how how people keep
00:53:42
their heads on straight it's just so
00:53:43
much information so anyway I I usually
00:53:46
stay away from like making a just point
00:53:49
blank recommendation because and the
00:53:51
reason for that is that
00:53:54
like I really think that as a parent you
00:53:59
can have the confidence that you
00:54:00
understand your child really well like
00:54:02
better than other people can and you can
00:54:05
really like help inform like what
00:54:07
education is going to serve them best so
00:54:10
it's like when you talk about this a lot
00:54:11
on your podcast too just like being
00:54:13
involved in their education um and so
00:54:16
the fact that like my friends are even
00:54:17
thinking about homeschooling or
00:54:18
considering these different things is to
00:54:20
me like always like a really cool sign
00:54:22
that they're thinking about like oh what
00:54:23
like what should I focus on and I think
00:54:25
that's ATI thing in of itself um but the
00:54:29
conversation usually F like goes they
00:54:32
ask me what my experience was like and I
00:54:35
primarily talk about the The Strain that
00:54:37
it had on my parents unfortunately that
00:54:39
was like something that stuck out to me
00:54:41
as a kid um and so with that I recommend
00:54:45
like more doing kind of a self like self
00:54:50
assessment as a human like is that
00:54:52
something that you're willing to do how
00:54:54
would you do it are like are you are you
00:54:56
comfortable with the idea of being Mom
00:54:58
and teacher what is that like like um so
00:55:02
that's really usually what I focus on is
00:55:05
talking about that aspect and the family
00:55:06
Dynamics and stuff um because I like I
00:55:11
just think that's what it's about a lot
00:55:13
of the time yeah I 100% agree I mean if
00:55:16
you're going to do it everyone's got to
00:55:18
be bought in on it you know yeah my my
00:55:21
dad originally was very much
00:55:23
like he wasn't against it but he was
00:55:26
like I can't be involved or I'm not
00:55:27
going to be oh wow and like that was it
00:55:32
wasn't until that shifted in his brain
00:55:34
where he's like okay I want to be a part
00:55:35
of this and it took my mom kind of
00:55:38
really trying to invite him into be a
00:55:40
part of it where he went oh okay yeah
00:55:43
like I'm sold on this now you know and
00:55:45
we had a couple it was a couple years of
00:55:47
doing it when it's it's but to your
00:55:50
point it puts a strain it puts it it can
00:55:52
be a disaster on relationships it's a
00:55:55
really hard hard it's not an easy thing
00:55:58
you know parenting already is not an
00:56:00
easy thing uh and so you know it's an
00:56:03
added stress yeah yeah and I also what I
00:56:07
what I do like to talk about too with
00:56:09
those friends is is um like what would
00:56:12
be your reason to do it you know
00:56:14
obviously you have to know more about
00:56:16
homeschooling before you're considering
00:56:17
reasons to do homeschooling but like
00:56:19
that is a really important aspect of
00:56:22
like you continuing to do it I mean even
00:56:24
like when you talk about your mom like
00:56:25
she didn't like the school systems in
00:56:27
your area that's a really good reason
00:56:30
like you know like it's a really like
00:56:31
you're going to keep going as much as
00:56:34
you can if you're like just not happy
00:56:36
with the education available to your
00:56:37
kids in your area and that's totally
00:56:39
valid and if that's the only reason
00:56:40
you're doing it great but like stick
00:56:43
with that and and move forward I think
00:56:46
um I think the reasons my parents
00:56:48
homeschooled were like a little little
00:56:49
bit mixed and that the lines got blurred
00:56:52
and then you're more vulnerable to like
00:56:54
other opinions and I think that's where
00:56:55
things start start to break down when
00:56:57
people are like criticizing you or
00:57:00
something if you have a strong reason
00:57:01
you can just this is what I'm choosing
00:57:03
to do um and move on but I think there
00:57:05
was some there was a little bit of like
00:57:08
you know we want to raise kids with good
00:57:10
character that was part of my parents
00:57:12
reasoning but there was also like this
00:57:14
kind of underbelly of like this
00:57:17
religious reason that I don't I honestly
00:57:20
don't know came from my parents very
00:57:22
much I think it like came from these
00:57:23
homeschool groups that we ended up
00:57:25
getting involved in
00:57:26
um and I think that was that was
00:57:29
damaging and just
00:57:32
not H I don't want to say it's not a
00:57:34
real reason it's just it's dicey it's a
00:57:39
dicey reason um and
00:57:43
yeah yeah I don't know how else to I'm
00:57:46
with you no you're you're saying that
00:57:47
and and I'm I'm sitting here going is
00:57:50
religion a good enough reason to to like
00:57:54
home just like to choose to choose home
00:57:57
homeschool as like the thing yeah my
00:57:59
opinion no it's not yeah like because it
00:58:04
to your point it gets really dicey and
00:58:06
it's very tricky to navigate that world
00:58:10
a little
00:58:12
bit it's really easy to get sucked into
00:58:15
different parts of religion and
00:58:17
different groups of religion um in the
00:58:21
home education system because like
00:58:23
curriculums
00:58:24
are when you been to a couple like
00:58:27
homeschool conventions and you've been
00:58:28
on the floor and you've looked at all
00:58:29
the textbooks and you through stuff you
00:58:31
kind of get a flavor for like there's a
00:58:34
lot of diversity here when it comes to
00:58:36
the belief systems that exist in the
00:58:38
home education system and it's it is it
00:58:41
is wild but it again like like you said
00:58:43
it gets dicey because it's like
00:58:46
especially if you're fresh to it holy
00:58:48
crap there is a billion in one decisions
00:58:50
you got to make day one where you send
00:58:52
your kid to public school again you're
00:58:56
you don't have you're not choosing the
00:58:57
curriculum you're not having to do all
00:58:58
that research it is a lot of work to
00:59:00
figure all that stuff out so yeah I
00:59:04
think it's important to say too like
00:59:06
when I say religious reasons there's so
00:59:08
many subcategories of like religious
00:59:12
reasons to homeschool that like I
00:59:15
think some of some of them are to me
00:59:19
some of them seem healthier than others
00:59:21
so like sometime I think like a
00:59:22
religious reason sometimes is uh you
00:59:25
know
00:59:27
um I want to I don't want them to know
00:59:31
about Evolution this is a popular one I
00:59:32
know you bring this up a lot but like I
00:59:34
want to teach them about creation well
00:59:36
you teach them about creation and then
00:59:37
you don't teach them about Evolution and
00:59:39
you don't teach them about any of these
00:59:41
other things that they're going to
00:59:42
encounter when they're adults in the
00:59:44
real world and I think that is scary
00:59:47
because you're not preparing them for
00:59:48
critical thinking or like like proper
00:59:52
just just like basic respectful debating
00:59:54
skills or any like just to choose I
00:59:58
don't know to just be strong in your
00:59:59
choices I think that as far as like a
01:00:01
religious reason is always just unsteady
01:00:05
to me because it's like you're just only
01:00:08
sharing what you want your kid to
01:00:10
believe in instead of like helping them
01:00:13
make these informed choices um so that's
01:00:16
a religious reason that I'm personally
01:00:18
critical of and then you know but
01:00:21
there's other religious reasons that
01:00:23
like I think the part of it for my
01:00:26
parents you know the the super popular
01:00:29
super popular well Bible verse that's
01:00:31
like raise raise your children in the
01:00:33
way they should go or whatever um which
01:00:37
also is very funny because anyone can
01:00:39
interpret what that means like for them
01:00:42
but whatever um like oh well you know
01:00:45
God says to raise your children in the
01:00:47
way that you should go so the only way
01:00:48
we can do that is by having control
01:00:52
over how you learn and how you grow up
01:00:54
and seeing how youat people and
01:00:57
correcting how you're mistreating people
01:00:59
sometimes and I think there's some value
01:01:01
to to things like that where you're
01:01:03
talking about like interpersonal skills
01:01:04
or just character building I understand
01:01:07
that perspective um so anyway that's
01:01:09
like a much like more removed religious
01:01:11
reason but I just wanted to bring that
01:01:13
up for for the podcast for anyone
01:01:14
listening because I think religious
01:01:16
reasons is kind of all bundled into a
01:01:18
big pile and I think there's so many
01:01:22
little pockets in there um that people
01:01:25
don't think about
01:01:27
yeah yeah no I I 100% agree with you and
01:01:29
as someone who grew up in that it's like
01:01:32
yeah most of my most of my Science
01:01:34
Education based around creationism we
01:01:36
touch on Evolution but really from the
01:01:39
perspective of well this is already like
01:01:40
a debunked wrong way of thinking about
01:01:43
yeah yeah and that has been interesting
01:01:45
to like unpack now as an adult and kind
01:01:48
of think more critically about and be
01:01:49
like oh okay do I believe this do I not
01:01:51
believe this do I believe a version that
01:01:53
both are true you know all those things
01:01:56
and so I think to your point it's
01:02:00
it's again it's really easy to get lost
01:02:02
in the sauce of of all of it um because
01:02:05
it's just so big and but yeah to want to
01:02:09
educate your kids to be like oh well I
01:02:10
want to raise them in an environment
01:02:11
where they teach very good like you know
01:02:15
characteristics of like knowing how to
01:02:17
you know be kind and gentle and you know
01:02:20
all those types of things that's you
01:02:21
know that's good those are good reasons
01:02:24
but I guess boil it all down it really
01:02:27
comes down to you there's a lot more to
01:02:29
think about than just like oh it'd be
01:02:31
fun to have everyone at home and like
01:02:33
you know we're going like homeschool and
01:02:35
travel the world and like do you know
01:02:37
like like you know just like the perfect
01:02:39
little vlogger family you know ask
01:02:42
picture of it it's like that's just like
01:02:44
not probably the reality of most people
01:02:47
so totally yeah totally yeah I think
01:02:50
this has been an amazing conversation
01:02:52
and I think you know we could go on and
01:02:54
on and on and I hope you do come back
01:02:56
talk for days this sorry if I harped too
01:03:00
long on a weird topic but
01:03:03
yeah about that's yeah that's the thing
01:03:06
is there's so many layers to The
01:03:07
Homeschool environment and then
01:03:09
everyone's unique individual stories
01:03:11
like there's parallels there's
01:03:12
differences and it's important to kind
01:03:14
of
01:03:15
like pull those back a little bit and
01:03:17
really get down to the the root of it
01:03:19
and what people are thinking these days
01:03:21
about it and and like I said a ways out
01:03:24
of
01:03:26
that experience and so now being able to
01:03:27
unpack it with just like completely
01:03:29
different eyes yeah wild yeah and I
01:03:33
don't know about you but I'm I'm still
01:03:35
consistently like surprised at how many
01:03:38
people talk about homeschooling
01:03:40
positively like as it like my peers
01:03:43
because growing up it was always like
01:03:45
this weird thing like to do and now I
01:03:47
feel like when people talk about it
01:03:49
they're like that'd be cool that'd be
01:03:50
fun like always like what where did this
01:03:54
come from um yeah so so I think it is
01:03:56
such cool timing that you're like you're
01:03:59
you're able to interview your friends
01:04:01
I'm trying to get more voices out there
01:04:02
about what their homeschooling
01:04:03
experience was like like you said
01:04:04
because I think people are really
01:04:06
interested in it for whatever reason um
01:04:09
and yeah I think having those real just
01:04:12
real stories out there about it is gonna
01:04:15
help people yeah no for sure and and I'm
01:04:18
excited to hear more of your show and
01:04:20
learn more from like your friends and
01:04:22
the people you bring on because yeah
01:04:24
it's a totally different flavor and it
01:04:25
kind of of and uh so yeah so I highly
01:04:27
encourage my audience go take a listen
01:04:29
it'll be linked in the show notes
01:04:31
homeschooled I'm assuming all of the
01:04:33
major streaming
01:04:34
platforms uh I braed YouTube recently
01:04:38
okay from your
01:04:40
recommendation yeah YouTube up there as
01:04:42
well very cool very cool uh is there
01:04:45
anywhere else you want people to go
01:04:46
follow you got socials newsletter
01:04:48
anything like that that you want people
01:04:49
yeah I mean I'm on Instagram um just the
01:04:52
homeschooled pod and then if you're
01:04:55
interested in just talking or asking me
01:04:57
questions or if if you want to be a
01:04:59
guest um I'd love to start a chat with
01:05:02
you and my email for that is the
01:05:03
homeschooled pod gmail.com so you can
01:05:06
reach me there very cool yeah awesome
01:05:09
this has been so much fun Before I Let
01:05:11
You Go is there anything that's come up
01:05:14
that I'm like we haven't touched on that
01:05:15
you're like okay this is super important
01:05:17
we need to like discuss it could be a
01:05:18
funny moment could be I don't know maybe
01:05:20
we didn't touch on whatever uh yeah I
01:05:23
don't know
01:05:26
there there's so much but um I don't
01:05:29
know I think uh just alog together what
01:05:34
I'd like to remind any parent who's
01:05:36
considering homeschooling or not or
01:05:38
whatever um just like trust yourself and
01:05:42
and Trust like what you believe is best
01:05:44
for your kid I think there's a lot of
01:05:46
like criticisms of parents out there and
01:05:48
just like being steady and and knowing
01:05:50
your child and getting to know them more
01:05:52
and making that your focus is is really
01:05:55
a great great place to start and it's
01:05:57
it's not about the mechanics of how you
01:06:00
teach them or where they go or what
01:06:02
school it's it's really about like your
01:06:04
effort involved with it so um and I also
01:06:07
want to say like if you are a parent who
01:06:09
is homeschooling take care of yourself
01:06:12
like don't um don't sacrifice your
01:06:14
mental Wellness or anything for the sake
01:06:16
of homeschooling and I'm saying that
01:06:19
from I hope I'm saying that from a lot
01:06:21
of other kids' perspectives too but like
01:06:24
please please take care of yourself
01:06:25
first yeah healthy people can can help
01:06:29
be help other people be healthy
01:06:31
unhealthy people it's very hard to make
01:06:33
healthy people from unhealthy people so
01:06:36
tot yeah that's
01:06:37
something yeah of course and like I said
01:06:40
you're always welcome back and to my
01:06:42
audience again go check out homeschooled
01:06:44
pod I know my interview is going to be
01:06:46
out there very soon I I'll make sure it
01:06:48
gets shared on my socials as well but uh
01:06:51
yeah and you know if you want to reach
01:06:52
out to me exhs Club on pretty much all
01:06:56
of the socials or exhs [email protected]
01:06:58
shoot me an email I promise I don't bite
01:07:01
I'm very friendly and if you want to
01:07:03
have a conversation whether it's on the
01:07:04
show whether it's off the show whatever
01:07:06
uh you know I want to hear from you and
01:07:07
I want to know what you're up to so uh
01:07:10
that's been it for this week we'll see
01:07:12
you again next week all right peace bye
01:07:18
[Music]
01:07:29
[Music]
