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Is Stand-Up Comedy the Best Therapy for Ex-Homeschoolers? | #35

May 01, 2025 / 01:17:08

This episode features Jacob Gooden and guest Jeremy Alder discussing Alder's journey from being a homeschooled child in rural Texas to becoming a stand-up comic. Topics include Alder's upbringing in a fundamentalist Christian household, his experiences with homeschooling, and the release of his debut comedy album, "Almost a Grown Man."

Alder shares insights about being one of the first homeschoolers in his area during the mid-80s, the challenges his family faced, and how homeschooling evolved into a more structured environment as he grew older. He recalls the initial lack of resources and community support, which changed by the time he became a teenager.

The conversation also touches on Alder's transition to adulthood, including his aspirations to be a Christian rock star, his experiences in community college, and how he eventually found his passion for comedy. Alder reflects on the importance of mentorship and support from others during his formative years.

As a parent, Alder discusses his decision to send his children to public school and the value he sees in public education. He emphasizes the need for community and socialization, and how his own experiences have shaped his views on education.

The episode concludes with Alder promoting his comedy album, available on various streaming platforms, and sharing a humorous anecdote about his upbringing.

TL;DR

Jacob Gooden interviews Jeremy Alder about his homeschooling background and comedy career, highlighting his debut album release.

Episode

1:17:08

00:00:00

What is good exhomies? It's your boy

00:00:01

Jacob Gooden and we're back in the

00:00:03

exhomeschoolers clubhouse. This is the

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best exhomeschooler show this side of

00:00:08

the internet. And uh I'm stoked for

00:00:10

today because uh I've got a brand new

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exhomeschooler friend that is uh Jeremy

00:00:14

Alder and we're going to get into his

00:00:16

whole story. We're going to get into how

00:00:18

he grew up in like rural Texas and

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basically was like the first

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homeschooler in that area um to kind of

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like finding and making friends. We're

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going to walk through his journey after

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the homeschool years and finding his

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career. And then we're going to talk

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about like who he is today. He's a

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stand-up comic. And uh that's kind of

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honestly why we got connected because

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Jeremy is dropping his debut album on

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April 25th. It's already out at the time

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that this is dropping. But go give it a

00:00:44

listen. It's super funny. It's called

00:00:46

Almost a Grown Man. Jeremy alder.com.

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It's going to be linked in the

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description. It might be popping up on

00:00:51

the screen if you're watching this in

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video. Uh but uh yeah, go give it a

00:00:54

listen. Go give him some support. see if

00:00:56

he's coming to a city near you and I

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don't know if you enjoy comedy like I

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do, you maybe want to go see it live

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live and in person. But uh yeah, Jeremy

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is hilarious. He makes a bunch of jokes

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about being raised homeschooler and

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fundamentalist Christian and he's just

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hilarious. But uh we had such a great

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time chatting about his past and in the

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future and uh so I hope you guys will

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really enjoy it. But before I turn it

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over to past me and past Jeremy, um I do

00:01:23

want to ask a favor of you guys. I've

00:01:25

got a newsletter. I would love to have

00:01:26

you on there. So, if that's something

00:01:28

you're interested in, link is going to

00:01:30

be in the description to hop on the

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newsletter. All it takes is just your

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email address. I send it out about once

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a week, maybe sometimes every two weeks.

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Um, but yeah, it's just uh you know,

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what's going on in my life, what what

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I'm reading, what I'm watching, you

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know, links to this podcast, links to

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other shows, whatever. You know, it's

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just fun. It's just meant to be fun. If

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there's something you want to see on

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there, you know, hit me up. So, all

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right. I'm gonna turn it over to past me

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from future me from past whatever,

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however this works. Uh, we're gonna turn

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it over to past

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me. Jeremy, we're here. I'm stoked to

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have you on the Exhome Schoolers Club.

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I'm stoked to get to know you a little

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bit more. Um, first and foremost,

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welcome to the Ex Homeschoolers Club.

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Thank you, Jacob. It's great to be here.

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I I love this idea for a podcast.

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Thank you. I like to think of all of us

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ex homeschoolers as a big weird club.

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Yeah, pretty much. I can't take all the

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credit for it because uh my homeschool

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group that I grew up with over during

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the COVID couple years in there, they

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started a Facebook group and they it was

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like the ex-h homeschoolers club of uh

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of uh Venture County. And so I was like,

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yeah. So I was like, I'm going to steal

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that, I think. Um, which hopefully they

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don't mind that I I kind of took that

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moniker from them, but here we are.

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We're in the club. I'm stoked to have

00:02:51

you today. You are a stand-up comic. You

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like are an ex-h homeschooler. You grew

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up in a fundamentalist Christian

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household. Um, y you've got an album

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coming out called Almost a Grown Man.

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So, we're going to talk about that a

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little bit later, but I really wanted to

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kind of start, let's start back in the

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homeschool days. And run me through what

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it like a day to like a week of what the

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homeschool world looked like for you in

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in the Alder household. Yeah. In it

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sounds like rural Texas. Yeah. Yeah. Um

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Yep. Just outside San Antonio. Yep. So,

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South Texas. And uh well, we started uh

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mid80s.

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Uh my mom started home and I say we

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because it was uh me. I have an older

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brother um an older sister and a younger

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brother who was uh not in school when we

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first started homeschooling. But I did

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um initially my first two years of

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school uh kindergarten and first grade

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were in a a small kind of private uh

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school connected to a little

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fundamentalist church in okay in San

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Antonio. And then um and then my mom

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pulled and that's where my siblings went

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too. And then my mom pulled us all out

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and started homeschooling us. And

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um you know at the time in the

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mid80s there were not the there was not

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the homeschool community that there is

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now. Um it was it was very rare. I I

00:04:21

didn't know any other homeschoolers. I

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didn't know that was even an option, you

00:04:26

know, uh, until my mom said that's what

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we were doing. Um, and of course for a

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kid, the idea of, oh, I don't have to go

00:04:35

to school anymore, that's great. I mean,

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what's, you know, of course that's

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that's fantastic. But it came with a lot

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of I I know it wasn't easy for my mom um

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because what she was doing was so weird.

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And I know like our extended family was

00:04:54

not on board with it. Um I think you

00:04:58

know there the people at our church even

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um homeschooling is very common now and

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I think in fundamentalist churches but

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at the time we were the only ones in our

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church and it was not it wasn't a tiny

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church. I mean, there were a lot of kids

00:05:12

my age, but you know, the attitude was

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um you know, uh you want your kids in

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school to be salt and light for the

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unbelievers, right? So, like what are

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you doing pulling them out? But anyway,

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my mom just felt like it was uh what she

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was supposed to do, that she wanted uh

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more, I guess, control over shaping who

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we became and what the influences were

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on us.

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And so she just went for it. And

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um I I don't remember this because I

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guess I was like six or seven, but my

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mom said our first year homeschooling

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curriculum was composed entirely of um

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the Bible and Highlights magazines. I

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don't know if you remember Highlights

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magazines. I do. I remember going to the

00:06:04

doctor office. The doctor's office or

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the dentist's office. Yeah. Yeah. So

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apparently that was my first year of

00:06:10

schooling, which is why I

00:06:12

guess I'm so good at like finding the

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difference between two pictures, you

00:06:17

know? Like I'm just expert level at

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that. Um but yeah, Goofus and Gallant

00:06:22

were my first two like um like people I

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looked up to, you know. Um yeah, so she

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was kind of winging it and

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um and so I got to give her a lot of

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credit. I I know it took a lot of

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courage and it was it was a heck of a

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lot of work cuz she was basically you

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know my dad worked full-time and um he

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was involved some but not like during

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the day it was mostly just her and then

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uh me and and my three siblings and so

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um I don't remember a lot of like the

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typical day like early on I know that we

00:07:01

always started with like a Bible study

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okay and and and prayer and and like I

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remember we did a lot of like memorizing

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of of scripture and and that would be

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like how we would start the day was um

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trying to remember whatever uh psalm we

00:07:19

were we were memorizing. But

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um yeah, and then we would at some point

00:07:25

all gather around the kitchen table.

00:07:28

Yeah. And um and get at it. I remember

00:07:31

my mom

00:07:33

uh at least eventually got like a like a

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a a planning book that she had where um

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it was like a calendar and she had each

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of our names um and like each day of the

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week and next to our names was like our

00:07:49

assignments for each day that we were

00:07:51

supposed to do. Um and so at least

00:07:55

eventually it became fairly structured

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uh you know um yeah and we did end up

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getting a curriculum eventually. It was

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kind of a mish mash of

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um well I think we I think I graduated

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from Highlights magazines to the ACE

00:08:13

curriculum which was the curriculum we

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used at the school I was at which was

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like a mailin kind of I'm trying to

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remember what AC stood for but it was

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like a I definitely I've definitely

00:08:25

heard of that before. Okay. So I think

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it's really interesting because in the

00:08:29

home school world there's the the big

00:08:31

one that everyone talks about is a Becca

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curriculum being like the thing and then

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and then I I have heard of ACC before.

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Um, but a lot of them, it's so

00:08:40

interesting because a lot of those

00:08:42

curriculums are just built for like more

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of a traditional school setting or a

00:08:45

private school setting, right? So, a a

00:08:47

room of kids and then you're trying to

00:08:50

apply it to sometimes the at home cuz I

00:08:52

started with a Becca and similar to you,

00:08:54

I had like two I did kindergarten, first

00:08:56

grade, public I went to public school.

00:08:58

Okay. Um, unlike you, I didn't want to

00:09:01

homeschool. Like I was like, I'm you're

00:09:04

taking me away from all my friends.

00:09:05

like, "Yeah, I want to sleep in, but at

00:09:07

the same time, I was like, I have

00:09:08

friends now, mom. You're taking all the

00:09:09

way." But anyway, yeah, it was

00:09:12

definitely um it was interesting cuz

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like you like my mom also was like

00:09:17

there's a there's a shift in there that

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it's like it's a hard transition to get

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into a rhythm where you're like, "What

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am I supposed to do now?" Right? Like if

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you don't have a structure, you end up

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with the Bible and Highlights magazine

00:09:30

for a year, right? Of like trying to

00:09:31

figure out like what is this? And I

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can't even imagine. I I'm more a product

00:09:35

of the 2000s um era of homeschooling and

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so there was definitely a lot more

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resources I feel like available at that

00:09:43

point. Also, we had the internet. Um but

00:09:46

yeah, I can't imagine being someone in

00:09:47

the 80s in the '9s kind of being like I

00:09:51

what do we do? Where where do I go for

00:09:53

this? Yeah. Right. Right. There was no

00:09:56

there was no internet and in

00:09:59

fact we weren't even sure it was

00:10:01

entirely legal. Oh god. Because I

00:10:04

remember my mom telling us that

00:10:09

um she was like, "If basically if if men

00:10:13

in

00:10:15

suits drive up the driveway and come to

00:10:18

the door, don't answer it. You come and

00:10:21

get me because they might be trying to

00:10:23

make you go back to school." Oh man.

00:10:26

Yeah. So, I know there was some um yeah,

00:10:30

because like I said, it just wasn't

00:10:31

there weren't a whole lot of people

00:10:32

doing it. So, like I don't think the

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laws around it had been entirely

00:10:35

clarified because technically from one

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perspective

00:10:39

um and I've I I used to make a joke

00:10:41

about this that like homeschooling is

00:10:43

just truency for white kids, right? Like

00:10:47

you could just get away with it. No one

00:10:48

asked any questions, right? And um uh

00:10:52

and I think at some level it it really

00:10:54

might have been that, you know. Um and

00:10:57

so when we were out in public, you know,

00:11:01

I was always a little bit nervous around

00:11:05

like police officers because I was like,

00:11:09

do they are they going to wonder why I'm

00:11:11

not in school? And what do I say? Am I

00:11:14

going to get in trouble? Am I going to

00:11:16

get my whole family in trouble? And am I

00:11:17

going to get my mom in trouble? you

00:11:19

know. Um, so it was a little bit sketchy

00:11:22

that at the beginning. Um, for sure. Um,

00:11:26

yeah. And not having internet, you

00:11:27

couldn't just Google is it legal in

00:11:29

Texas? Right. Right. You just couldn't.

00:11:32

So, yeah. I think it's interesting too

00:11:35

is you talked about how also your

00:11:37

extended family wasn't and even your

00:11:39

church was maybe not like fully on board

00:11:41

with it. Yeah. where like that's also I

00:11:45

mean that's also playing a role in that

00:11:46

feeling of just like okay like we're

00:11:49

doing something weird like you said like

00:11:50

is this illegal how do we handle stuff

00:11:54

you know I can't say that I've ever had

00:11:56

really that fear I mean by the time I

00:11:58

was 16 I was like driving my mom would

00:11:59

send me to go do the grocery run by

00:12:01

myself you know but it would be like

00:12:03

10:00 in the morning you know um and I

00:12:05

wasn't really afraid of am I going to

00:12:08

get in trouble cuz I could just say I'm

00:12:10

homeschooled you know I did school last

00:12:12

night. It's all good, right? You know,

00:12:14

and they could look it up. There's, you

00:12:15

know, a whole process of like here's how

00:12:17

to, you know, in California, and that's

00:12:20

where I grew up, it was, you know, is a

00:12:21

very much like here's the whole process

00:12:23

of how do you make your school a

00:12:24

legitimate school and, you know, all

00:12:26

that stuff. But that's such a

00:12:29

interesting experience. And so I was

00:12:32

wondering like was there a point

00:12:34

where I don't want to say it became more

00:12:37

legitimized in your brain, but like you

00:12:39

talked about also the transition until

00:12:40

you guys started to get a curriculum.

00:12:42

Did you guys also find other

00:12:44

homeschoolers in the area that you could

00:12:46

kind of bond with? Yeah. Yeah. By the

00:12:48

time I became a teenager, it was

00:12:51

completely different. We had there was a

00:12:54

a group. We were part of a very

00:12:57

large homeschooling co-op or network in

00:13:01

San Antonio that um that had all kinds

00:13:06

of resources. They had like a

00:13:08

homeschooling bookstore. We had a gym.

00:13:12

We had a basketball league. We had like

00:13:16

um certain classes that you could take

00:13:19

as a part of the co-op that different

00:13:21

parents would teach that had expertise

00:13:23

on certain subjects. Um there was like

00:13:26

debate clubs and drama and so like it

00:13:29

became more like a like a almost a a

00:13:33

private school experience a little bit

00:13:36

because we started to connect with other

00:13:38

people. Um, so yeah, by the time we got

00:13:41

and and it was clarified by then by then

00:13:44

like I feel like between the mid80s and

00:13:49

the early 90s homeschooling experienced

00:13:51

like a renaissance and I think my mom

00:13:54

was just like on the frontiers of it and

00:13:58

because it felt very common and not at

00:14:01

all that weird by the time I was a

00:14:04

teenager, which is pretty quick. Um,

00:14:06

yeah. And so and and by then

00:14:10

like I think most or all of our family

00:14:12

had come around to it. Um the people in

00:14:17

our church I in fact I think the pastors

00:14:19

of our church if I remember correctly

00:14:21

apologized to my parents for you know

00:14:25

giving them grief about it initially

00:14:27

because they came to embrace

00:14:29

homeschooling and see the benefits of

00:14:31

it. And um so yeah, so it definitely

00:14:34

changed. And what also changed was by

00:14:37

the time I became a teenager, I started

00:14:39

to wish that I was in school. I didn't

00:14:42

want to be homeschooled anymore. Okay?

00:14:44

you know, so I started out really

00:14:45

enjoying it and then and then started to

00:14:48

feel like I was missing out on certain

00:14:50

things and um and you know, I just

00:14:54

wanting more friends and connection and

00:14:56

more like res, you know, I was into

00:14:58

sports and stuff and we had

00:15:01

that as homeschoolers, but it was

00:15:04

definitely an inferior product to put it

00:15:09

mildly. Um, so, so yeah, to to answer

00:15:14

your question, it did kind of normalize

00:15:16

and become less of a weird thing, you

00:15:18

know. Yeah. But I always felt weird. Oh,

00:15:21

yeah. I still do. And I think that's

00:15:22

just a part of the of it. like you never

00:15:27

fully feel like you fit in or you get

00:15:31

what's going on cuz I did miss out on

00:15:33

these this entire

00:15:36

like 10 to 15 year span of like popular

00:15:40

culture that because for me we were very

00:15:42

like not all homeschoolers are like this

00:15:45

but we were like we didn't have a TV we

00:15:47

didn't have we weren't allowed to listen

00:15:49

to the radio or secular radio we didn't

00:15:52

have access to like we didn't go to the

00:15:54

movies much, you know, it was just very

00:15:56

like very sheltered. So, I didn't really

00:15:58

know what was going on. Like, what are

00:16:00

kids talking about? What are they into,

00:16:01

you know? Um, I didn't get it. I

00:16:04

somewhat I somewhat feel that like I

00:16:07

also had that protective growing

00:16:08

Christian homeschool values, very

00:16:11

plugged into like church. Church was

00:16:13

kind of like the one of the big outlets

00:16:15

of like that's where your friends are.

00:16:17

That's where, you know, sometimes sports

00:16:19

were there, sometime, you know, youth

00:16:21

group. Um, that was just kind of my

00:16:23

place. And I had some friends in that

00:16:25

youth group who were public school kids,

00:16:27

which was like, "Oh, wow. That's, you

00:16:29

know, but also there's this kind of it

00:16:31

it's funny because I think

00:16:33

homeschoolers, there's two trains of

00:16:34

thoughts I think with homeschoolers of

00:16:35

the like either I'm the dumbest person

00:16:37

in the room because like I know that my

00:16:40

education is lacking or I feel super

00:16:42

smart and I've been kind of convinced

00:16:44

that my my education is so superior to

00:16:46

like a public school scenario where

00:16:48

you're like, "You guys are just dumb.

00:16:50

I'm the smart one in the room." You

00:16:52

know? I Yeah. Which one did you feel

00:16:55

like?

00:16:56

Oh man, that's a tough one. I I in some

00:16:59

areas I felt smarter than other people.

00:17:01

In other areas I was like, I am I'm

00:17:03

stupid as all as all can be. Science is

00:17:06

not my area, but when it came to things

00:17:08

like history, my my parents really

00:17:10

leaned into finding the things we were

00:17:13

passionate about and really pushing us

00:17:15

to research those areas. So, like, okay,

00:17:17

for history, I really loved I was really

00:17:19

into World War, uh, Revolutionary War,

00:17:23

just wars in general. I think that's

00:17:24

kind of maybe a boy thing, too, of just

00:17:26

like, yeah, guns and swords and, you

00:17:29

know, all that kind of stuff. So, I so I

00:17:31

leaned heavily into that stuff where I

00:17:32

was like, I I was pretty knowledgeable

00:17:35

of that and I could talk anybody's ear

00:17:37

off about it. And then I loved music and

00:17:38

so I was really I was just really into

00:17:41

the music industry. That's what I wanted

00:17:42

to pursue as a career anyways.

00:17:45

And thankfully I had parents who were

00:17:47

like, "Yeah, you can listen to some rock

00:17:48

music and you can, you know, dabble in

00:17:51

some other uh genres other than

00:17:52

Christian rock." Um but uh but I could

00:17:57

talk anybody zero off about that stuff.

00:17:58

But then it comes to science. I have a

00:18:00

buddy who he ended up he works for like

00:18:02

NASA and um uh some of he builds rockets

00:18:06

and stuff. He's a rocket scientist now.

00:18:08

Yeah. That dude would not shut up about

00:18:10

science and he was just a genius at it.

00:18:12

And I was like, you know, he made me

00:18:14

feel like an idiot when we would chat.

00:18:16

So I kind of I sit in both camps where

00:18:19

I'm like some areas I'm like, "Yeah, I'm

00:18:21

definitely superior in my knowledge

00:18:22

about this than anybody else in the

00:18:23

room, but other areas I was like, "No,

00:18:25

I'm just I'm just dumb."

00:18:27

Yeah, I think I probably felt the same.

00:18:31

I I felt like certainly when it came to

00:18:34

the Bible, I probably knew more than you

00:18:36

did. Um

00:18:38

but uh and maybe

00:18:42

um yeah maybe certain elements of

00:18:45

history. I was a pretty good I was a

00:18:48

good reader. I enjoyed reading and so um

00:18:53

and I think I learned to read fairly

00:18:55

early on and I was just a voracious

00:18:56

reader. So that I think helped I felt at

00:18:59

least equal to

00:19:01

my public school and private school

00:19:03

friends when it came to like English. Um

00:19:07

but like you when it came to math and

00:19:09

science um you know I it was it was

00:19:14

tough and my best friend I think one of

00:19:16

one of the saving graces in my life is

00:19:19

that my best friend who lived two houses

00:19:22

down um he his mom was a public school

00:19:27

teacher and his dad was a college

00:19:31

professor and he was brilliant and very

00:19:36

studious. And so I both like had a good

00:19:42

like measure of like where I stacked up

00:19:46

and I was always below him. Uh he's gone

00:19:50

on to like he got his PhD, he became a

00:19:53

scientist. He studies like monkeys in

00:19:55

Costa Rica now or something really okay

00:19:56

cool like that. I also had like his

00:20:00

parents I think were a little bit

00:20:01

worried about me because they you know

00:20:05

and they cared about me and they loved

00:20:06

me and they wanted me to have a fuller I

00:20:10

think cultural and academic experience

00:20:13

than I was getting and they found ways

00:20:16

for me to to get that when I would go

00:20:19

over and I loved going over. I would

00:20:20

they took me on trips uh like their

00:20:23

summer family vacations which were very

00:20:25

educational for me. They let me watch TV

00:20:28

when I was at their house, play video

00:20:31

games. There was access to like just

00:20:33

like stuff I would not have at home. And

00:20:37

it really kind of expanded my mind and

00:20:40

my my heart in ways that I'm really

00:20:45

grateful. Grateful for like looking

00:20:47

back, you know. Um so yeah, shout out to

00:20:52

Miss Vicki and Gamma Como uh Compost.

00:20:54

Y'all really uh y'all really saved my

00:20:57

life in a lot of ways. I think it's

00:20:59

always great to have people like that in

00:21:01

your life. I had like my we called them

00:21:03

my adopted grandparents. They were like

00:21:05

my my church grandparents, if you will,

00:21:07

cuz all my other grandparents lived a

00:21:08

little too far away. But Tom Ramenet,

00:21:11

man, he he saw that I loved guitar and

00:21:14

he was like, "Dude, I'm going to

00:21:15

introduce you to G uh to Eric Clapton

00:21:17

and uh BB King and like all these

00:21:20

things." And like he was just like, you

00:21:21

know, he would push me to be like, you

00:21:23

could play like this. You could, you

00:21:24

know. Um, and I think you need I think

00:21:28

kids in particular, I think, need people

00:21:29

like that in their lives that see they

00:21:32

see the the the value and they see like

00:21:34

what you're passionate about and they

00:21:35

just push you to like go for it. Like

00:21:37

just do it, go all in on it, you know,

00:21:39

have fun with it, enjoy it. Um, no,

00:21:42

absolutely. like I'm I am I love sports

00:21:46

and my family is not a sports family at

00:21:49

all and um and being homeschooled there

00:21:54

was it was very unlikely that I was

00:21:56

going to

00:21:56

encounter sports opportunities but uh

00:22:00

Fernando's dad GMO um he started

00:22:04

coaching Fernando in basketball in the

00:22:06

YMCA and asked me if I wanted to join

00:22:08

and he would play every evening he would

00:22:11

practice with me and Fernando

00:22:13

um you know, they had a hoop above their

00:22:15

garage and he taught me how to play

00:22:17

basketball and I fell absolutely in love

00:22:20

with it and yeah, it became

00:22:22

like, you know, a big part of my

00:22:25

identity and um and it it changed my

00:22:30

life, you know, to to have that and um

00:22:33

and I probably never would have gotten

00:22:36

that into it if it hadn't been, you

00:22:38

know, for him. And um so yeah, so you're

00:22:42

absolutely right. So like having those

00:22:44

those people

00:22:46

um whether you're homeschooled or not,

00:22:49

just having other adults that care about

00:22:51

you is really important. Um and not to

00:22:53

say like I had wonderful extended family

00:22:55

that did care about me a lot, but I was

00:22:57

an odd little kid and um I had interests

00:23:00

that didn't that were different from a

00:23:03

lot of the rest of my family and and so

00:23:05

I I'm grateful I just had an outlet for

00:23:07

that. Yeah. you know. So, yeah, I think

00:23:10

yeah, there's there's something about

00:23:12

having like an exterior like your family

00:23:15

your family is supposed to love and

00:23:17

support you no matter what. That's, you

00:23:19

know, in a in a perfect world, we'll

00:23:21

we'll say that. Um, you know, but having

00:23:23

that outside kind of person, mentor,

00:23:26

picture, you know, whatever it it's it's

00:23:29

incredible. I I've had a cute few of

00:23:30

those in my life and they're just always

00:23:32

like the best people, you know, and they

00:23:34

come and go. That's just life. But the

00:23:36

other thing they did is they were native

00:23:38

Spanish speakers and so they wanted me

00:23:40

to learn Spanish. And so when I would

00:23:42

come over to the house, GMO would only

00:23:45

talk to me in Spanish and he would force

00:23:47

me to try and figure it out. And it

00:23:50

helped me learn some Spanish, which is

00:23:53

very valuable. Living in San Antonio, I

00:23:55

should have been being taught Spanish

00:23:57

anyway. I feel that growing up

00:23:59

California, same deal. It's like

00:24:00

everybody speaks Spanish. I'm also, no

00:24:02

one believes this, I'm a quarter

00:24:03

Hispanic, so I'm like, I really had no

00:24:05

reason to not learn it. To not learn it,

00:24:07

right? Yeah. And I'm ashamed even though

00:24:10

like I had that, I still I still should

00:24:12

know a lot more than I do. But yeah, uh

00:24:15

but I am I am grateful for that like

00:24:17

whole like kind of cultural window that

00:24:20

I just again would not have had, you

00:24:23

know, because I wasn't in school. Had I

00:24:25

gone to public school in San Antonio, I

00:24:28

would have had a lot of Latino friends,

00:24:30

I would have been around a lot of

00:24:32

Spanish speakers, but where we were kind

00:24:35

of a little bit isolated on the

00:24:37

outskirts of town, um, I didn't, you

00:24:39

know, and so that was it for me. So, I

00:24:42

want to shift gears just a little bit. I

00:24:44

I kind of want to jump forward just just

00:24:46

slightly. Sure. So, so high school and

00:24:49

going into like college years and like

00:24:53

what did that look like for you? Because

00:24:55

for for me I definitely there was a lot

00:24:58

more I don't want to say legitimacy to

00:25:00

like homeschooling but like it wasn't

00:25:02

really an issue for me to get to

00:25:04

college. I had transcript. I had you

00:25:07

know I was I was decent at enough stuff

00:25:09

that I was like I could get into a

00:25:10

couple places. So, but what did that

00:25:13

look like for you? Obviously, I know you

00:25:15

you we've already talked about your

00:25:16

homeschool experience kind of evolved

00:25:17

and it got more solidified, but like

00:25:20

when you were gearing up for kind of

00:25:21

that launch, I guess we'll just say the

00:25:23

adulthood launch, like you know, what

00:25:26

were you thinking about? What was going

00:25:27

through your brain of like what's the

00:25:29

next step here? Yeah,

00:25:32

I I wasn't sure. I had a few false

00:25:35

starts.

00:25:37

Um,

00:25:39

I I wanted to be a Christian rock star.

00:25:44

That's what I wanted to be. So, I was in

00:25:47

a few different few different bands uh

00:25:50

in high school, which I do talk about on

00:25:52

the album a little bit. Yeah. You got a

00:25:54

great bit about the the rock band,

00:25:56

Christian rock band. Um, and so I was

00:25:59

hoping that would take off and, you

00:26:01

know, we would tour or something. Um,

00:26:03

college was not really on my

00:26:06

mind. Um, neither one of my parents went

00:26:09

to college and um, I had uh, one

00:26:15

grandfather that that went to college

00:26:17

and I don't think the rest of my family.

00:26:21

Um, I had a couple of cousins that went,

00:26:23

but college just was not I know for some

00:26:25

kids it's kind of the expected thing,

00:26:27

right? um wasn't really uh for me and my

00:26:32

parents didn't really push it. They

00:26:33

never discouraged it. They didn't push

00:26:35

it and I think they just didn't know,

00:26:38

you know, even how you would go about

00:26:40

that probably. I I don't know. Um

00:26:43

so the Christian rock band thing didn't

00:26:46

work out. Uh when I graduated high

00:26:48

school, um I was working at a Christian

00:26:55

bookstore.

00:26:57

um in San Antonio in their music

00:26:59

department and uh I was enjoying that

00:27:03

and uh for the most part and um I had

00:27:07

kind of gone I'd kind of gone through a

00:27:10

crisis of faith

00:27:12

uh during my teenage years too. So my I

00:27:15

had stopped going to church but I still

00:27:17

had most of my friends and stuff were

00:27:20

were people I had met at church. So I

00:27:22

still kind of had the connection and I

00:27:23

wasn't like antagonistic. I wasn't

00:27:26

anti-church or anti-Christian. I just

00:27:28

realized like I don't think I really

00:27:31

believe this or at least not in the same

00:27:33

way. And um and so uh so I'd stopped

00:27:37

going to church. And um I did I decided

00:27:42

at some point and I'm not even sure why

00:27:43

that I was going to I wanted to go to

00:27:45

community college and just kind of try

00:27:47

it out. and I lasted like less than a

00:27:50

semester and I was like, I don't think I

00:27:53

want to be in school. And I actually had

00:27:56

a little I did go um my junior year of

00:28:01

high school, I went for a semester to a

00:28:06

private Christian school in San Antonio

00:28:09

because I wanted to play on their

00:28:10

basketball team. And they had they had

00:28:13

like a a nationally ranked basketball.

00:28:16

They were very very good and um and I

00:28:19

wanted to play and I went and my parents

00:28:22

agreed to it and um I hated being in

00:28:27

school. As much as I wanted the like

00:28:30

social part of it, I was like, "Yeah,

00:28:33

wow, we're wasting a lot of time and a

00:28:36

lot of these kids are really dumb and

00:28:38

they don't want to be here and they're

00:28:40

just making everything harder and making

00:28:43

everything take longer." I was like, I

00:28:45

could normally get my schoolwork done in

00:28:48

like two or three hours, right? And then

00:28:51

have the rest of the day to do whatever

00:28:53

I wanted. And now I'm locked in this

00:28:56

place for eight hours a day. Most of it

00:28:59

feels like wasted time to me because I

00:29:01

could get all this stuff done if if

00:29:03

y'all would just get out of my way and

00:29:05

just give me the work. I'll just do it,

00:29:07

you know? Um and uh and so I decided it

00:29:12

just wasn't worth it. And so um uh I

00:29:16

also buted heads with the uh

00:29:18

administration at that school because

00:29:20

they were very very fundamentalist, very

00:29:22

very strict. And I tend to like to push

00:29:26

buttons a little bit, push boundaries a

00:29:28

little bit. And not even like I just

00:29:30

remember one chap I was in chapel and

00:29:33

um the uh it was the assistant the vice

00:29:36

principal was preaching in chapel and he

00:29:39

started talking negatively about Jars of

00:29:43

Clay, the band. Yeah. and he was talking

00:29:48

negatively because uh they had decided

00:29:52

to go on tour with Sting.

00:29:56

Yeah. Yes. I remember he felt like they

00:30:00

had no they were basically by doing that

00:30:02

they were endorsing Sting and what Sting

00:30:06

was about and that they if they're if

00:30:08

they're Christians they shouldn't be

00:30:09

playing in those kinds of venues and

00:30:11

environments. And I actually raised my

00:30:13

hand in chapel, which you don't do like

00:30:16

you did. It's not a Q&A, but I was like,

00:30:19

I raised my hand and he actually stopped

00:30:21

and he asked what I and I was like,

00:30:24

doesn't it make s isn't that where you

00:30:26

would want Christians to be is like in

00:30:29

front of non-Christians where they get a

00:30:32

chance to like hear this the message and

00:30:34

this other perspective and stuff. And um

00:30:37

anyway, it kind of became this thing uh

00:30:40

in the middle of chapel between and then

00:30:42

I got called to the office afterwards

00:30:43

and he was upset that I was disruptive

00:30:45

and and being rebellious and um so that

00:30:50

was the other piece where I was like,

00:30:51

"Yeah, I don't think I want to deal with

00:30:54

this." So yeah, uh I if I'm going to

00:30:56

butt heads with um you know, a cranky

00:31:00

fundamentalist, I'll butt heads with my

00:31:02

mom or my dad. You know, I have to do it

00:31:05

anyway. So yeah,

00:31:08

it's so funny that you bring up Jars of

00:31:10

Clay because um I went to the same

00:31:13

college that they went to. Granted, my

00:31:15

time was way later. So Greenville

00:31:17

College is now Greenville University and

00:31:19

Greenville, Illinois. It's where Jars of

00:31:21

Clay formed. Yeah. They only lasted, I

00:31:23

think, a semester to one year before

00:31:25

they dropped out to do the band

00:31:27

full-time. Okay. And moved to Nashville.

00:31:29

Okay. And so anyway, so that's a big

00:31:32

rich history of that school of like we

00:31:35

learn

00:31:36

pretty much everything there is to know

00:31:37

about Jars of Clay. Yeah. Uh the lead

00:31:39

singer spoke at like my graduation and

00:31:42

stuff like that. Like they bring them

00:31:43

back for anything and everything. But

00:31:45

they're they're a great band. They were

00:31:47

a huge huge band for me growing up too

00:31:49

of just like I loved their music was

00:31:52

very influential. Yeah. So it's funny.

00:31:54

Well, I was excited. I you know when I

00:31:56

was 16 I was excited because they were

00:31:58

starting to have some crossover success.

00:32:01

Yes. And like they were getting played.

00:32:02

I would just hear them on. By this time,

00:32:04

I was listening to secular radio because

00:32:06

I had gotten my own car and I could

00:32:09

drive and I could listen to whatever I

00:32:10

want. I could buy whatever CD. This was

00:32:12

when CDs were a thing and I had my whole

00:32:15

like, you know, book of CDs and my, you

00:32:17

know, and I could I could listen to

00:32:18

whatever I wanted. So, I was just

00:32:20

excited. Oh, this band's like, you know,

00:32:23

making it. And um and uh yeah, so they

00:32:27

were they were influential. Um, so is

00:32:30

Greenville is it like a small like a

00:32:32

Christian college? Very small Christian

00:32:35

college. It's like a thousand-ish

00:32:36

students. It's right over the border

00:32:38

from St. Louis, Missouri. So, it's about

00:32:40

45 minutes to an hour. Okay. Uh,

00:32:42

depending how the wind travels. Um but

00:32:44

yeah, very small school, very it's a

00:32:47

free Methodist

00:32:49

uh school and uh but huge music program

00:32:53

like very it's a very interesting thing

00:32:57

like that the history of it and like the

00:32:59

people who have come out of there. Um

00:33:01

Jar Clay obviously being a big one uh

00:33:03

one of the founders of In-N-Out Burger

00:33:05

is like from there from way back. It

00:33:07

used to be a women's college. Anyway,

00:33:09

there's a huge history there of stuff,

00:33:11

but um and it's not super far from

00:33:13

Nashville, so a lot of people they have

00:33:15

a great music business program and music

00:33:16

program and stuff like that. So, that's

00:33:18

where I that's why I went there. I

00:33:19

wanted to initially do audio

00:33:20

engineering, got into the music business

00:33:22

side of things, was like, I'm going to

00:33:24

manage bands and stuff. And to your

00:33:25

point about Clay being like on tour with

00:33:28

Sting and kind of that like salt of the

00:33:31

earth, like let's go be a light in the

00:33:33

in the dark places, right? It was always

00:33:35

funny to me how my my relatives and my

00:33:38

friends back home, they would they would

00:33:40

always ask me like, "What band do you

00:33:41

want to work with?" And at the time,

00:33:44

this was before everyone knew that Kanye

00:33:45

was a Nazi, but um but I wanted to work

00:33:50

for Kanye West. Really? And I was Yeah,

00:33:53

I did. And I was like, I think it'd be

00:33:55

really interesting to work in the rap

00:33:57

industry. And I and I I had a huge list

00:34:00

of like all these secular artists that I

00:34:02

wanted to work with. And I just like I

00:34:03

think it would be so much fun to go see

00:34:06

that side of of the world and really

00:34:08

like push myself to be out there. And

00:34:10

people would be like, "No, like you

00:34:11

should go like work for like the News

00:34:13

Boys or Jars of Clay or Switchfoot or

00:34:16

like any of the Christian bands." And

00:34:17

I'm like, "But they're all Christians

00:34:21

already. Like I wanted that push to be

00:34:23

like something bigger than that." And um

00:34:26

Yeah. So I just think it's all it's kind

00:34:28

of an interest that was an interesting

00:34:29

point you brought up. I was like I

00:34:30

resonate with this uh Yeah. Yeah. And I

00:34:32

will say, you know, I I had that same

00:34:34

feeling of like I didn't want I didn't

00:34:37

want to be in a Christian bubble

00:34:38

anymore. And I was interested in jars of

00:34:42

clay, but I also part of me I was not a

00:34:46

huge fan of jars of clay because they

00:34:48

felt a little too safe and mainstream.

00:34:50

And that's this is when I had started to

00:34:52

discover like

00:34:54

um kind of the Christian indie

00:34:58

alternative scene. You know, this is

00:35:00

when like Tooth and Nail Records started

00:35:03

putting out bands and like um started to

00:35:06

discover like there's like a punk scene

00:35:08

and a you know, like

00:35:11

a very kind of experimental art rock

00:35:16

scene and there's these music festivals

00:35:19

that of like like Cornerstone Music

00:35:21

Festival in Illinois that I went out to

00:35:23

a couple years and I was like it felt a

00:35:27

little um more

00:35:30

you know, a little more worldly, a

00:35:32

little edgier than what you would hear

00:35:34

on

00:35:36

um you know, Christian radio. Um, and

00:35:40

so, uh, I I defended I wanted to defend,

00:35:45

uh, what what Jars of Clay was doing in

00:35:47

theory, but there was also part of me

00:35:49

that was like, I don't it still felt too

00:35:51

safe, you know, and which is why I think

00:35:54

eventually when I decided to go to

00:35:56

college, I never really considered going

00:35:59

to like a a Christian college. Um Mhm.

00:36:04

Um it's that's probably where my parents

00:36:07

would have wanted me to go if I were um

00:36:10

yeah, you know, that's where most of my

00:36:12

homeschool friends that were going to

00:36:14

college, they were going to private

00:36:18

Christian colleges. But I by that point

00:36:22

I was like, man, I really want to

00:36:25

experience more of the world and uh just

00:36:29

have a a

00:36:31

broader experience. And so uh I dropped

00:36:35

out of uh I dropped out of community

00:36:37

college, took a year off. I was just

00:36:39

working and um wasn't sure what I was

00:36:41

going to do with my life. And then I got

00:36:43

really into um kind of through

00:36:48

uh Christian apologetics. I got into

00:36:52

philosophy and just reading philosophy.

00:36:55

And then I got into I have a brother my

00:36:57

brother my older brother had left the

00:36:59

church and um he was considered himself

00:37:03

a kind of like rationalist skeptic and

00:37:05

started like getting me to read like

00:37:07

Richard Dawkins and uh kind of these new

00:37:10

atheist types and um and so I started

00:37:14

reading some of their stuff and I got

00:37:16

really interested in philosophy and

00:37:18

science and trying to

00:37:21

like integrate it with my faith and like

00:37:24

right and so um I actually I read a book

00:37:31

about

00:37:32

um uh I don't know if you familiar with

00:37:35

the intelligent design movement but it

00:37:39

was kind of like it's a type of

00:37:42

creationism but uh it's not like young

00:37:45

earth creationism. It doesn't take the

00:37:48

Bible as a starting point, but it does

00:37:51

uh they do argue that

00:37:53

like there is clear kind of evidence of

00:37:59

uh intelligent design in biology and

00:38:04

there's a lot of like serious scientists

00:38:07

that were a part of this and one of them

00:38:10

wrote a book that I read and I emailed

00:38:13

him and uh I was probably

00:38:17

17 at the time and uh either had not

00:38:21

graduated yet or just graduated. I just

00:38:24

emailed him and saying, "I really

00:38:25

enjoyed your book. This is fascinating.

00:38:26

I'd really be interested in like

00:38:27

learning more." And he um he immediately

00:38:32

wrote me back and this is we had just

00:38:33

gotten a computer so like email was kind

00:38:35

of new. Yeah. And uh he was like uh he

00:38:40

was like I want to connect you with some

00:38:42

other people in this movement. and he

00:38:44

made me a part of this like email

00:38:47

um list. And all of a sudden I was in

00:38:52

this

00:38:53

email list serve with all of these like

00:38:58

scientists and philosophers around the

00:39:01

world who were talking about this

00:39:03

intelligent design stuff. And I was

00:39:05

like, "Oh my god, this is fascinating."

00:39:09

And this is something I could see myself

00:39:11

like really throwing myself into. And so

00:39:15

it got me excited about learning and

00:39:18

going to school because then I had in my

00:39:19

head that like, oh, okay, I'm going to

00:39:22

either become a scientist or a

00:39:24

philosophy professor and um I'm going to

00:39:27

like be a part of this like movement.

00:39:31

And um and

00:39:33

so that's when I got serious about like

00:39:36

okay I want to find a good university

00:39:39

with like good you know science and

00:39:41

philosophy program and so that's how I

00:39:43

ended up going to I ended up going to

00:39:44

the University of Texas uh in Austin

00:39:47

which is a massive school at like yes

00:39:50

55,000 students. Yeah, huge shift for me

00:39:55

because you know I had never been to a

00:39:58

public school at all and this is a

00:40:00

public university and certainly never

00:40:02

been to anything this large and so um it

00:40:08

it was it was a big it was a big shock

00:40:11

but I loved it. Like I loved the

00:40:13

challenge of it. I think

00:40:16

homeschooling kind of put a little bit

00:40:18

of a chip on my shoulder because I felt

00:40:21

like I always had to prove myself that I

00:40:24

wasn't stupid. Yeah. And I wasn't

00:40:27

stupid. I was just uneducated.

00:40:30

Right. Right. Like there's a difference.

00:40:31

I wasn't stupid. I was just ignorant.

00:40:33

Right. Because I just hadn't been

00:40:35

exposed to stuff. I just hadn't had the

00:40:36

opportunities. And so and then once I

00:40:40

had something that I was excited about

00:40:42

learning, I really threw myself into it.

00:40:44

And um and yeah, so I I um to but

00:40:49

applying to college, I do remember as a

00:40:52

homeschooler, you know, it wasn't clear

00:40:54

how you do it.

00:40:56

Um and I think that's why starting at

00:41:00

the community college kind of helped

00:41:02

because it was just more accessible. We

00:41:04

went into the office and I remember they

00:41:05

were like, "Well, he's going to have to

00:41:06

take like a placement

00:41:08

test and just to see where he's at

00:41:11

academically cuz I did have a

00:41:14

transcript. My mom wrote my transcript.

00:41:17

We wrote it together.

00:41:20

Um, and it was we really winged it cuz

00:41:25

we didn't really remember everything

00:41:28

that I had learned and grading was like

00:41:32

pretty loose. Uh, so

00:41:35

so we basically made up a transcript for

00:41:39

me and um I have a joke about it on the

00:41:42

album. Uh, you know it is you know if

00:41:45

your mom writes your transcript you end

00:41:47

up doing pretty good, right? So, yeah, I

00:41:49

um I we turned that in and they're like,

00:41:51

"Okay, um thank you for the transcript.

00:41:55

We'll be sure not to set it down on

00:41:57

anything wet since it's written on a

00:41:59

napkin, but um you're going to have to

00:42:02

take this test." And so, I took some

00:42:04

kind of test. I wrote an essay for them,

00:42:06

and I guess it was good enough that they

00:42:08

were like, "All right, we'll let you

00:42:09

into community college."

00:42:12

And um and then when I applied to real

00:42:16

college or real college, I don't know if

00:42:18

that's community college is real

00:42:19

college, but when I applied

00:42:21

to a four-year school,

00:42:25

um I think that's when I had to take

00:42:27

like the SAT

00:42:29

or one of those like standardized tests.

00:42:32

And at that point, I do remember I did

00:42:36

have the sense that colleges were

00:42:39

actually really interested in

00:42:40

homeschooled students at that

00:42:42

point. And because I guess enough had

00:42:45

gone to college and proven themselves

00:42:48

that it was like, oh, this is these some

00:42:50

of these kids are really pretty pretty

00:42:52

smart, you know. And um so I would say

00:42:56

they rolled out the red carpet for me,

00:42:57

but they did facilitate my applying and

00:43:00

it was fairly straightforward and um and

00:43:04

uh and it and it was great. Um yeah, and

00:43:07

uh I'm really glad that I, you know, got

00:43:09

to have that uh experience. But I did

00:43:12

once I got there,

00:43:14

that's when the gaps in my education

00:43:17

really I think showed up, you know.

00:43:21

Okay. Uh, and I did feel like I had to

00:43:23

work twice as hard. You brought up like

00:43:26

them kind of not necessarily rolling out

00:43:28

the red carpet, but having colleges

00:43:30

starting to have an interest in

00:43:31

homeschool students. Yeah. And what I

00:43:33

got told when I was headed to college

00:43:35

was this. There was enough evidence that

00:43:38

showed that homeschool students thrived

00:43:40

in the college experience because they

00:43:42

already kind of knew how to like

00:43:45

individually like operate. They didn't

00:43:47

need like a classroom setting. And so

00:43:49

when it came to like, hey, professors

00:43:51

are going to hand you just like a ton of

00:43:54

work, you have to just be able to do it

00:43:56

and have nobody looking over your

00:43:57

shoulder demanding you do it. Yeah. And

00:44:01

that, you know, homeschool students, I

00:44:03

think, tend to lean a little bit more

00:44:06

towards Yeah. That's that's a

00:44:07

possibility. Especially in your case,

00:44:09

your mom is is raising three kids, you

00:44:11

know, and homeschooling them. My mom was

00:44:13

raising two. I have friends who their

00:44:15

homeschool family is 12 kids, you know.

00:44:17

It's like insane, you know, right? Um,

00:44:19

and so there is this kind of like you

00:44:21

have

00:44:22

to you have to have the drive to like do

00:44:25

it on your own. Um, and so I think that

00:44:28

was like a really I don't know. It was

00:44:30

just an interesting moment that I think

00:44:31

back on and I'm like, "Huh?" They wanted

00:44:33

me partly because of that. And then once

00:44:35

I got there, I lied to everybody. I just

00:44:37

said I went to private school. I was

00:44:39

like, "Yeah, I was like, I I told

00:44:41

everybody I went to private school. I

00:44:43

wanted no one to know I was

00:44:44

homeschooled." I told a few of the

00:44:46

people who became my better friends. Um,

00:44:48

and then it eventually came out and I

00:44:50

was less scared about it. But I I think

00:44:52

I just wanted that like I don't want

00:44:54

this marker on myself. And I also I

00:44:58

wanted to work in the music industry. I

00:44:59

was like cool people work in the music

00:45:00

industry, you know, like I was like I

00:45:02

I'm not a cool person. Um, and so it it

00:45:06

was definitely a it's an interesting

00:45:08

thing to be like homeschooled. But to

00:45:10

your point too, it's like the gaps show

00:45:11

up where you go Yeah. I really I don't

00:45:14

know this all that well. Yeah. So, I got

00:45:16

to go figure it out. Yeah. But I felt

00:45:19

like I I didn't mind I didn't mind

00:45:22

telling people I was homeschooled. There

00:45:24

was a part of me that liked it. I like

00:45:25

to like be like, "Yeah, I'm homeschooled

00:45:29

and I'm here and I'm I'm smart and I can

00:45:32

we're out here, right?" Yeah. We're not

00:45:35

all a bunch of weird freaks, you know?

00:45:38

Um, uh, so I think I liked it and like I

00:45:42

said, it kind of gave me a little chip

00:45:44

on my shoulder that I think helped

00:45:46

helped me, yeah, succeed in school

00:45:50

because I I did want to prove that, you

00:45:54

know, homeschoolers can, you know, we're

00:45:57

just as smart as anybody else, you know,

00:45:58

if you give us the opportunity to learn,

00:46:00

you know. So, Exactly. Um, yeah. So, I I

00:46:04

actually I I embrace the identity.

00:46:07

um pretty strongly, but the gap showed

00:46:10

up and I was like that's when I really

00:46:12

started to feel

00:46:14

like realize what I missed out on as a

00:46:18

homeschooler and how just given the way

00:46:21

I was wired and what my interests were.

00:46:25

Um, and I probably would have benefited

00:46:29

quite a bit from

00:46:32

a structured school situation with

00:46:36

college

00:46:37

uh, as a as a target and a goal. You

00:46:40

know, if I had been like prepared for

00:46:43

college, like I just like in a college

00:46:46

prep situation, I think I really would

00:46:48

have thrived um, and benefited from

00:46:50

that. uh because it made it a struggle

00:46:53

in college, but you know, we do I'm sure

00:46:56

I learned a lot in the struggle, you

00:46:58

know, too. Um yeah, so it's hard to

00:47:01

sometimes look back on it and be like,

00:47:02

of course there's ever there's things we

00:47:04

would always change, right, about like I

00:47:06

wish this was different. I wish that was

00:47:07

different. And the the point of the show

00:47:09

is it's also to kind of like it's like,

00:47:12

well, we made it through. We're we're

00:47:15

two successful guys. Granted, we're

00:47:17

white. We got that working for us, but

00:47:18

Absolutely. Yeah. But we're we're too

00:47:22

we've made it out. We're we're

00:47:23

successful. We're still here. We're

00:47:25

standing, you know. And it's like, okay,

00:47:26

we if if we can do it, you can do it,

00:47:29

too, you know. And um so I I do want to

00:47:34

get to a little bit of like when when

00:47:36

does comedy enter the scene for you of

00:47:38

like maybe it's not starting to do

00:47:40

standup, but where did that have you

00:47:42

always been a funny guy? Like is that

00:47:44

you know um or where where did that

00:47:46

really come from? I think I started

00:47:49

using humor. sarcasm in particular as a

00:47:53

like defense mechanism pretty early on

00:47:55

as a teenager. And

00:47:59

um I like I remember when I was 16, I my

00:48:05

friends

00:48:08

uh had my church friends had an

00:48:10

intervention with me, a sarcasm

00:48:13

intervention where they literally sat me

00:48:15

down and were like, "Dude, we love you,

00:48:18

but like you're too

00:48:20

sarcastic too much of the time. Like

00:48:23

you've got to dial it back. It's just

00:48:25

too much." And that was kind of a wakeup

00:48:27

call for me. Um that I was just really

00:48:30

just leaning into it. It was just a way

00:48:32

of like I think

00:48:35

uh protecting myself probably. Um and so

00:48:41

I know that that's been a part of me for

00:48:43

a long time. Um

00:48:46

but and I

00:48:48

enjoyed standup. Um

00:48:51

uh but I I wasn't really into it until

00:48:54

much later in life. So, like I think I

00:48:58

started really paying attention to it uh

00:49:02

in my like early 30s and then um because

00:49:06

I was just going through a hard time

00:49:08

personally and comedy was just like a

00:49:10

nice uh relief and distraction. Yeah.

00:49:15

And then I started when I was 35. So I

00:49:18

was just pretty old to start a career in

00:49:21

comedy. Um, you know, most of the people

00:49:24

that I know that uh that I started with

00:49:27

were like um you know, early 20s. Some

00:49:31

of them were still teenagers. They were

00:49:33

in high school doing comedy. And um so I

00:49:36

was uh from the beginning kind of the

00:49:38

the old man in the local comedy scene,

00:49:42

you know, but I just loved I just kind

00:49:45

of fell in love with the art form. And I

00:49:47

am the type of person when I get into

00:49:49

something, I really get into it, you

00:49:51

know, like I really throw myself into

00:49:52

it. And it happened to be just a time of

00:49:56

my life where um you know, my my

00:50:00

marriage had had uh had broken up and um

00:50:05

we were sharing custody of our kids and

00:50:08

so I would have like I would have my

00:50:09

kids for a week and then they would be

00:50:11

with their mom for a week. And so all of

00:50:13

a sudden I had these huge vacuums of

00:50:15

time and um and so comedy was a way I

00:50:21

was looking for ways to fill my time and

00:50:23

find a like creative outlet

00:50:26

and something something about comedy

00:50:29

also felt kind of therapeutic and so um

00:50:33

I had been a preacher.

00:50:36

So after college, after college I

00:50:40

um still thought I was going to be a

00:50:42

philosophy professor. I started a a PhD

00:50:45

program in philosophy, realized it's not

00:50:48

what I wanted. I ended up dropping out

00:50:50

and going to seminary instead. Okay. And

00:50:53

uh and then after seminary, um I never

00:50:56

worked for a church. I worked for a

00:50:58

couple of different nonprofits, but I

00:50:59

did regularly preach in the

00:51:01

congregations that we were a part of. So

00:51:03

preaching was like a regular part of my

00:51:06

life. And um at the time of the divorce,

00:51:10

I had I was kind of going through kind

00:51:12

of a spiritual shift too and had stopped

00:51:15

preaching and comedy was

00:51:19

like uh you know it was kind of a

00:51:22

lateral move in a way. It's very

00:51:23

similar. Yeah. you know, I was used to

00:51:26

talking to people and I was used to the

00:51:28

writing process. And so, and in my kind

00:51:31

of preaching,

00:51:33

um, I tended to, uh, lean towards, you

00:51:37

know, being like I leaned on humor and I

00:51:40

was fairly provocative and, you know,

00:51:43

wanted to like get a reaction out of

00:51:46

people, right? Which is what you do with

00:51:49

comedy. And and actually the first

00:51:53

stand-up set I ever did, uh this was

00:51:56

before I really got serious about it, um

00:51:59

I was still preaching and I was a part

00:52:02

of a Menite church in San Antonio and

00:52:06

the Sunday after Easter every year in

00:52:10

the Menite church, they have this

00:52:11

tradition of humor Sunday and it's an

00:52:15

old tradition that goes way back.

00:52:16

There's a few other denominations that

00:52:18

that do it. Um but the idea is that um

00:52:22

this is Easter was the greatest trick

00:52:26

that God ever pulled on the devil,

00:52:28

right? And so the the Sunday after

00:52:31

Easter, you celebrate that by like um

00:52:34

having this service that's devoted to

00:52:36

humor. And so people would do skits,

00:52:39

some people would sing silly songs. Um,

00:52:43

I chose to do a standup a five minute

00:52:46

standup set making fun of Menites and it

00:52:50

crushed like it killed like it was it

00:52:53

was so good and I love I had so much fun

00:52:56

doing it and that's probably that was

00:53:00

two or three years before I actually

00:53:02

went and tried

00:53:03

standup you know really and um but I

00:53:07

think that's probably what put the the

00:53:10

bug in me and there must have been

00:53:11

something in me that what made me want

00:53:13

to try it in the in the first place. But

00:53:16

um but yeah, that's what my first taste

00:53:18

of it and um and it stuck with me. And

00:53:21

so so yeah, so when I started doing it

00:53:23

kind of and I say seriously, when I

00:53:26

first started, I was just going to open

00:53:27

mics just for fun. Like I said, I was I

00:53:29

was trying to meet people. I was filling

00:53:31

my time. I was looking for a creative

00:53:33

outlet. And I just found that I enjoyed

00:53:37

the challenge of it. When it's good,

00:53:41

when you're making people laugh, there's

00:53:43

nothing like it. It feels great. Um,

00:53:48

when it doesn't go well and you're

00:53:50

bombing, there's nothing like it. Like

00:53:52

the pain of it, the the embarrassment,

00:53:56

the humiliation, there's there's nothing

00:53:57

like it. And so the highs are really

00:53:59

high and the lows are really low. and I

00:54:01

just got addicted to it, you know. And

00:54:04

um I was gonna say because I look at

00:54:07

standup comedy as like, you know, I I

00:54:10

work in a creative field. I work with

00:54:11

podcasters, but like I and I wanted to

00:54:13

work with musicians and stuff like that,

00:54:14

but so I've just I have always been

00:54:17

drawn to the creative aspect of stuff.

00:54:19

And what I think is so interesting is

00:54:21

comedy is really the only

00:54:24

I I would argue the only creative one

00:54:26

that like you get instant feedback, like

00:54:29

you just said, right? Like if your joke

00:54:31

is hilarious, you will know

00:54:33

instantaneously.

00:54:35

You write a song, it's going to take you

00:54:38

six months to a year to really flesh out

00:54:40

whether the audience likes this song or

00:54:42

not. Like there is something to the live

00:54:44

performance where yeah, you can kind of

00:54:45

feel it, but you have to put it in front

00:54:48

of a bunch of audiences, but yeah, with

00:54:50

comedy like you know pretty quickly like

00:54:52

this is really bad or this is really

00:54:54

good. And so, yep. You know, and and you

00:54:57

learn how to read people, too, where,

00:54:59

you know, I'm sure that an audience in

00:55:02

Texas versus an audience in North

00:55:04

Carolina or here in Tennessee or

00:55:06

California, they got to be very

00:55:07

different, you know. Yeah. Which is part

00:55:09

of the fun of it is part of the like the

00:55:12

learning how to read different

00:55:14

audiences. And um but to your point

00:55:17

about Yeah. the instant gratification. I

00:55:19

think that was was part of what was

00:55:21

attractive to me is I could I could have

00:55:23

an idea that day and go up that evening

00:55:28

to an open mic and try it out and

00:55:30

immediately get some feedback on it. But

00:55:32

the thing the other thing about comedy

00:55:34

that's different I think from other a

00:55:36

lot of other art forms is that you can't

00:55:40

you can't practice it in private. You

00:55:44

can't do comedy in your room. you you

00:55:46

can't you have to go on stage. You have

00:55:49

to do it. Um it's not like guitar or

00:55:53

whatever where you can sit in your room

00:55:54

and learn the chords. Like you don't

00:55:57

know if you're playing it right until

00:55:59

you're in front of an audience and they

00:56:00

tell you that you're playing it right,

00:56:02

you know? So, exactly. You just got to

00:56:04

keep getting up and which means you have

00:56:06

to

00:56:07

be

00:56:09

bad in front of

00:56:11

people usually for a long time before

00:56:16

you get good. So it takes a certain kind

00:56:18

of um I think uh mental illness probably

00:56:24

to subject yourself to

00:56:27

that for long enough to get good. You

00:56:30

know, it is a weird like almost

00:56:31

addiction that I think you have to have

00:56:33

because most people that start a lot of

00:56:36

people start standup. They try it and

00:56:39

then they they quit for a number of

00:56:40

reasons and there are so many good

00:56:42

reasons to quit and um

00:56:46

and the ones that that stick with it um

00:56:51

you know for whatever reason I think I

00:56:52

mean I think there is something wrong

00:56:54

with us for sure. I'm not I'm not sure

00:56:56

what but as a group there is something

00:56:59

yeah wrong. It is a kind

00:57:01

of you know massochism um to yeah to

00:57:05

keep putting yourself in that situation

00:57:07

because I remember the first time I bomb

00:57:09

the first time I did it I did okay. The

00:57:12

second

00:57:12

time I I did really bad and it hurt and

00:57:18

I remember it kind of made me mad at

00:57:21

myself because I was like, why didn't it

00:57:23

work this time? And I was like, I'm

00:57:26

going to figure this out. I'm gonna like

00:57:28

I'm gonna go I'm gonna go back home and

00:57:30

I'm gonna like rewrite some stuff and

00:57:31

I'm going to come back and I'm gonna I'm

00:57:33

gonna try it again until I figure out

00:57:36

how to get this to work. You know, I

00:57:39

remember I watched this uh documentary

00:57:41

at one point and I'm trying to I want to

00:57:44

attribute it to the right person. I

00:57:45

don't think I'm going to, but I they

00:57:46

were interviewing like Jerry Seinfeld

00:57:48

and Dave Chappelle and some of the great

00:57:50

some of the the biggest stand-up comics

00:57:52

of all time. And uh they were talking

00:57:54

about like the New York circuit because,

00:57:56

you know, that was that was the thing.

00:57:58

And they would talk about, one of them

00:58:00

was talking about how they would go do

00:58:02

sets at like six different clubs in one

00:58:04

night and it was just like this hour I'm

00:58:06

here, you know, and they'd move. And one

00:58:08

of them was saying how he's like and I

00:58:10

would change one word per joke per spot

00:58:13

to see what landed the best with

00:58:14

audiences. And that's how I would

00:58:16

practice my jokes. And I was like, that

00:58:18

is such an interesting concept because

00:58:20

again to go back to that concept of like

00:58:22

that that thought process of like the

00:58:24

instantaneous like reaction and knowing

00:58:26

this is what lands. Well, you sub out

00:58:29

this word for that or timing. It might

00:58:31

be a timing issue or whatever. You can

00:58:33

practice all of that within the span of,

00:58:35

you know, they're out for six hours a

00:58:37

night, whatever. You know, practice all

00:58:39

of that and then and then the next week

00:58:41

when you have your next sets, you know,

00:58:43

you're like, we're back at it. And now

00:58:45

that joke is much more refined. And I

00:58:47

think that's such an

00:58:48

interesting it's such an interesting

00:58:50

thing because I've worked with enough

00:58:53

musicians where we look at similar

00:58:55

things within the music, right? Of like

00:58:59

a pause in a song or like when the drums

00:59:01

come in or you know all of these

00:59:03

different things that evoke a certain

00:59:04

emotion which comedy is very it's

00:59:06

emotional, right? It's meant to make you

00:59:08

think and make you feel something and

00:59:10

music is the same way. And so you look

00:59:12

at it and you go, okay, like I've been

00:59:15

sent so many albums that I'm just like

00:59:16

I'll sit there and I'll listen and I'll

00:59:18

listen and I'll listen and I'm like,

00:59:19

there's something missing. What is

00:59:21

missing? And it's like it might be a

00:59:23

word. It might be like a freaking

00:59:25

triangle. It might just be like this

00:59:27

little tweak that we make and it's like,

00:59:28

okay, that's it. That's the hit. That's

00:59:30

the That's the single. Um, and so I

00:59:33

think it's an interesting I don't know.

00:59:35

I I love that kind of stuff. I you know,

00:59:37

no, it's a puzzle. It's a it's a total

00:59:40

That's the fun of it. is the puzzle is

00:59:41

trying to figure it out like how do you

00:59:43

fit it together just right? Which pieces

00:59:46

are missing? Which pieces are in the

00:59:48

wrong place? And um yeah, absolutely.

00:59:52

And uh and that's, you know, the thing

00:59:55

is you never feel like, and I'm sure

00:59:58

it's the same with a song, I never feel

01:00:00

like a joke is done. Like even all these

01:00:03

the jokes that are on my album um you

01:00:07

know some of those jokes I wrote

01:00:10

my like third year into comedy. So I've

01:00:14

been doing them like seven years now.

01:00:16

I'm about 10 years in and um and they're

01:00:20

still even after I recorded them I was

01:00:23

like oh you know what I think I I think

01:00:25

there's a better way to do that or I

01:00:26

thought of a new tag for that joke that

01:00:28

I've been doing for seven years. you

01:00:30

know, because it just feels like it's

01:00:32

never done. It's always it's always um

01:00:36

it's always growing and changing. And so

01:00:38

that's what keeps it interesting to me,

01:00:40

you know, and keeps me excited about it.

01:00:43

Um even when there's no success, because

01:00:46

it is a

01:00:47

very hard business, just like music,

01:00:50

very few people that do it are able to

01:00:52

make a living at it. And those that are,

01:00:56

it's a hard living. you know, it sounds

01:00:59

fun and like

01:01:01

um you know, uh exciting, but most of

01:01:05

it's not. Most of most of the day-to-day

01:01:08

stuff of a musician or comedian, um it's

01:01:12

not the fun part. The being on stage is

01:01:14

the smallest part of it, you know. Yeah.

01:01:17

Um it's all the other stuff, you know,

01:01:19

the travel. Yeah. and you know, which is

01:01:22

really hard, especially if you have a

01:01:23

family and you know, um it's it's just

01:01:26

the the logistics of of

01:01:28

of getting places and stuff. It's

01:01:31

exhausting and it's hard on

01:01:33

relationships. So, yeah, you nailed it.

01:01:37

It's definitely it's a challenge and

01:01:38

it's it's such an I don't know. It's

01:01:41

it's a great creative outlet like you

01:01:44

said and I think it's so cool when

01:01:45

people can make it and they can make it

01:01:47

work and like but yeah I the number of

01:01:50

times it like now now understanding the

01:01:52

peak behind the curtain Yeah. of like

01:01:54

seeing how the industry works. It's such

01:01:56

a I I have so much more

01:01:59

um like appreciation for like when I go

01:02:03

to a a smaller comedy show or even a

01:02:06

larger one like going up to the opener

01:02:07

after the fact and just being like yo I

01:02:10

loved this bit that you did right and

01:02:12

like just

01:02:13

attempting positive because it's like

01:02:16

that's huge that's so huge you don't

01:02:18

know how much work went into all of this

01:02:20

to get them here where they are today

01:02:22

right and so it's like you know if I can

01:02:24

say one nice thing about Um it it it

01:02:27

might make their whole day. Absolutely.

01:02:30

Absolutely. Because if if they're like

01:02:33

99% of comedians, they get off stage and

01:02:36

alls they can think about is where they

01:02:39

messed up.

01:02:41

Yeah. Or that that spot where people

01:02:43

didn't laugh or didn't laugh hard

01:02:45

enough, you know. So, right. Uh so

01:02:47

getting that kind of feedback Yeah.

01:02:50

really can make their whole night, you

01:02:52

know. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So tell people.

01:02:54

So, the album is called Almost a Grown

01:02:56

Man. It's coming out the 25th of April.

01:02:58

This episode, I think, is going to is

01:02:59

going to drop after that. So, it'll be

01:03:01

live. Yeah. Where where what's the best

01:03:03

place for people to go like connect with

01:03:05

you, find it, buy it, stream it,

01:03:07

whatever, find shows. Yeah. Well, um so

01:03:11

you can go to my website,

01:03:13

jeremyaldder.com. Uh and that's where

01:03:15

you'll be able to find links to, uh the

01:03:18

album, to uh previous special that I've

01:03:20

done, and all my upcoming dates. The

01:03:23

album will be streaming on all the major

01:03:25

platforms. You'll be able to find it on

01:03:27

Spotify and um Apple Music or wherever

01:03:30

you stream music. It'll it'll be there.

01:03:32

Um and so, uh yeah, shouldn't be too

01:03:35

hard to find. Cool. And that's all going

01:03:37

to be linked down in the description as

01:03:38

well. So, go go give Jeremy a follow and

01:03:41

and see what's up there. Give it a

01:03:43

listen. I've listened to it. It's a

01:03:44

great album. I got a sneak preview, so

01:03:45

thank you for that. Um I think my

01:03:48

favorite of course. Yeah. I think my

01:03:50

favorite joke has to be you have a joke

01:03:52

about purity rings and how you didn't

01:03:54

wear one. I don't want to butcher it

01:03:56

like if you want to tell it. Um

01:04:00

yeah. Um right. So that one's about So

01:04:02

like most a lot of my friends in youth

01:04:04

group wore purity rings and um uh but I

01:04:08

I didn't because um you I didn't have to

01:04:12

because I was homeschooled and uh and

01:04:14

that would be redundant, right? That I'm

01:04:16

not having relations. Um, but I also

01:04:21

realized that uh the pair of corduroy

01:04:25

pants that my mom sewn for me sent the

01:04:29

same message as a purity ring. Um, so I

01:04:33

didn't need to wear a ring because uh

01:04:35

pretty much any belt can be a chassity

01:04:37

belt if you're wearing your purity pants

01:04:40

is uh is the joke. So yeah, true story.

01:04:44

Yeah, that would that would hit with me

01:04:46

so hard. Yeah, I was that was that was

01:04:48

going to be my question after it was

01:04:49

like is is this based on a true story?

01:04:51

We got really into sewing our own

01:04:53

clothes and so my mom made some I also

01:04:56

made some of my own clothes. Yeah. Which

01:04:59

I unfortunately don't have anymore but

01:05:01

uh because I would love to um be able to

01:05:05

share those with the world. But um Yeah.

01:05:08

No, that's true. We we were making our

01:05:10

own We were making our own clothes. Yep.

01:05:12

We were one of those homeschool

01:05:14

families. Yeah. I mean, hey, it, you

01:05:16

know, to to each their own. I won't say

01:05:19

that I necessarily made my own clothes.

01:05:21

I do know a lot of the girls in my group

01:05:23

growing up, they would they would all

01:05:24

make their own bathing suits during the

01:05:25

summer. Um, wow. Again, like you, we

01:05:28

grew up in very purity cultureesque

01:05:30

environment. And so, um, they didn't

01:05:32

feel like they could find something at

01:05:33

the store uh that was that was modest

01:05:36

enough. So, um, that was always an

01:05:38

interesting experience to kind of go

01:05:40

over and be like, "So, what are you guys

01:05:42

what are you guys making?" Um, but I

01:05:45

didn't need it either. I was also a

01:05:46

theater kid, so I mean I've worn tights

01:05:48

and wigs and all that kind of stuff. So

01:05:50

I, you know, yeah, I to to your point, I

01:05:53

didn't need to wear a ring either cuz

01:05:55

they could just smell. I just oozed

01:05:56

homeschooler.

01:05:59

Um, so okay, I want to as we kind of

01:06:03

wrap up here, I I want to kind of look

01:06:05

back a little bit and ask you some

01:06:07

questions about as you as you've kind

01:06:09

of, you know, homeschooling is

01:06:11

definitely a part of your identity

01:06:12

still, which is awesome. Um, it's

01:06:14

something it took me a while to get

01:06:16

there where I was like comfortable

01:06:18

expressing that part of me. But is there

01:06:23

what like what aspects of the homeschool

01:06:25

experience do you think you appreciate

01:06:27

the most looking back on it? Um I think

01:06:30

the independence and the freedom that I

01:06:34

had to kind of shape my

01:06:37

days was huge. Um,

01:06:41

and you know, and that was that was the

01:06:44

biggest adjustment for me when I dipped

01:06:48

my foot back into school. Um, is just,

01:06:52

you

01:06:53

know, not having the the freedom to

01:06:56

decide what to do with my time, you

01:06:58

know. So, I think that's probably the

01:07:01

biggest. I think also I do

01:07:04

appreciate I always felt a little bit

01:07:06

like an

01:07:08

outsider

01:07:10

and I think that helped me

01:07:14

recognize other people who felt like

01:07:17

outsiders and connect with other people

01:07:20

who felt like

01:07:21

outsiders. And I appreciate having

01:07:26

that perspective.

01:07:29

Um, and I'm I'm I'm I'm grateful for

01:07:33

that. Um, even though like

01:07:37

I'm the my my views now, my beliefs are

01:07:42

very different than what they were when

01:07:44

I was being homeschooled. I do feel like

01:07:47

I have a kind of critical lens

01:07:50

on

01:07:51

mainstream culture that um came from

01:07:57

being homeschooled and not just

01:07:59

taking things for granted, you know, um

01:08:03

basic assumptions that you would have if

01:08:06

you grew up kind of in the mainstream,

01:08:08

you know. So, yeah. Yeah, I totally I I

01:08:12

agree with you 100%. That's like, yeah,

01:08:16

I'm not even going to add to it

01:08:17

because I think you nailed it right on

01:08:20

the head. I did also want to ask you

01:08:22

this, too, because you are a parent.

01:08:23

You're a parent of four kids. Um

01:08:27

um and so when you look at their like

01:08:31

education now, and I don't know if your

01:08:33

kids are homeschooled or not, but like

01:08:35

has that run through your brain of

01:08:38

like h how has that factored into your

01:08:41

decision to raise your kids as they are

01:08:43

today? and like their education. Um, so

01:08:47

my kids are all in public school. Uh,

01:08:50

two of them have graduated. Um, we

01:08:55

briefly tried homeschooling um when they

01:08:59

were very little. Um, and that lasted

01:09:04

about a year and it just felt like too

01:09:06

overwhelming for us and I think for

01:09:09

them. I could tell we just were not able

01:09:11

to give them what we felt like they

01:09:12

needed. And part of it was just like,

01:09:14

you know, you have four very young kids

01:09:17

all with different I think the oldest at

01:09:19

the time was um maybe in fourth or fifth

01:09:22

grade and then we would have had like a

01:09:24

third grader and a kindergartener and a

01:09:26

baby, you know, and so like trying to

01:09:28

juggle all of that, I was like, man, it

01:09:31

gave me so much more appreciation for my

01:09:33

mom. I was like, I don't know how you

01:09:36

did it, you know? This is uh this is we

01:09:39

need a break in order to be who we want

01:09:41

to be for our kids and for each other.

01:09:44

We can't be with them all 247

01:09:49

and so um so yeah so we that was

01:09:52

shortlived and they've they've gone to

01:09:55

public school and they've they've

01:09:57

thrived and done well and I've also

01:09:59

become a very strong believer in an

01:10:03

advocate for public education. I think

01:10:06

it's important and necessary and

01:10:09

valuable that we have

01:10:13

um universally

01:10:16

available solid good education for kids.

01:10:21

Not every kid can be homeschooled. In

01:10:23

fact, most can't. Most families in

01:10:25

America don't have the resources to

01:10:27

homeschool their kids. the financial

01:10:29

resources for one to have one parent be

01:10:32

able to stay at home

01:10:34

uh is very very hard now. Um and so just

01:10:41

financially it's it's it's a huge

01:10:43

barrier for people. Even if they wanted

01:10:45

to homeschool, they can't. And also to

01:10:48

be

01:10:49

honest, most people are not qualified to

01:10:54

homeschool their

01:10:55

kids. They're just not. Your mom had an

01:10:58

educa a background in education, which

01:11:00

is great. Most parents don't. Mine did

01:11:03

not. I love my mom and my dad. They did

01:11:06

the best they could. They had no

01:11:09

business trying to be a school for us.

01:11:13

They had no business doing that. And

01:11:15

because they couldn't they couldn't and

01:11:17

so I think you know it's it's uh I I I

01:11:22

came to realize that and I and I came to

01:11:24

really you know growing up public

01:11:26

schools were like always painted

01:11:29

negatively for me and they were seen as

01:11:32

like a threat um you know a spiritual

01:11:35

threat, a political threat, a cultural

01:11:38

threat. They were just it was all bad.

01:11:41

And um I came to learn that that wasn't

01:11:44

the case. I went to college. While I was

01:11:46

in college, I started uh working as a

01:11:49

substitute teacher in the public school

01:11:51

system. And I was like, man, these are

01:11:53

just regular people. And these are just

01:11:55

regular kids. And this is the most

01:11:59

accessible education option for the vast

01:12:02

majority of people. And we want people

01:12:06

educated, right? So like, so let's

01:12:11

stop crapping all over public schools

01:12:14

and let's give them the resources they

01:12:17

need to provide a good solid education

01:12:20

for the people that that want it. So, so

01:12:23

yeah. And so I felt like also a little

01:12:25

bit of like I'm going to send my kids to

01:12:28

public school and if I've got a problem

01:12:30

with the school, I'm going to now be

01:12:33

invested in it to help make it better

01:12:36

for my own kids, you know, and therefore

01:12:38

for the other kids in my community who I

01:12:42

now realize like I'm responsible for.

01:12:47

Yeah. And we are truly in this life

01:12:51

together. And we are, you know, we are

01:12:56

one body and when one of us suffers, we

01:12:57

all suffer. And so I want I I really do

01:13:01

believe there is such a thing as the

01:13:03

common good. And I want I feel like

01:13:05

public education can serve the common

01:13:07

good and I want to support it and I

01:13:09

wanted my kids to be a part of it. So,

01:13:12

um, all that to say, you know, I

01:13:14

like I realize there are people for whom

01:13:18

particularly I think kids,

01:13:21

um, neuroatypical kids can really

01:13:24

benefit from homeschooling because a lot

01:13:27

of schools are not set up to help with

01:13:29

them. There's lots of kids I've heard

01:13:31

stories from parents whose kids were

01:13:33

just bullied in school. And not just

01:13:35

public school, private school has a huge

01:13:38

bullying problem, too. has all of the

01:13:40

same problems as public schools and some

01:13:42

worse. And so in that case, like

01:13:44

homeschooling can really make a lot of

01:13:47

sense. I get that. But I think in

01:13:51

general, I want I want people in public

01:13:55

school learning how to live together.

01:13:57

Yeah. how to be together, how to learn

01:13:59

together, how to create community

01:14:02

together, you know, and because that's

01:14:04

one of the things I think I did miss

01:14:06

being homeschooled is the socialization

01:14:09

process, socializing into a

01:14:12

multicultural

01:14:14

um uh you know

01:14:19

um country.

01:14:22

Um,

01:14:23

and you know, being so isolated, I

01:14:26

didn't I just didn't know how to

01:14:27

interact with people that don't share my

01:14:30

my same beliefs or outlook on life or

01:14:32

have a very radically different

01:14:34

experience growing up. Um, I was

01:14:37

sheltered from all of that. And so then

01:14:39

I had to learn it on the, you know, on

01:14:41

the fly much later,

01:14:44

um, without the like social skills that

01:14:46

I probably should have developed earlier

01:14:47

on. And so I didn't want my kids to

01:14:49

experience that, you know, I wanted them

01:14:51

to to have the full the full life

01:14:54

experience. And if there were

01:14:56

corrections that needed to be made about

01:14:58

or influences I didn't like in public

01:15:00

school, those could be dealt with at

01:15:02

home. You know, I 100% I I'm I'm with

01:15:05

you. I agree with you. I think my big

01:15:08

the biggest thing I'm an advocate for is

01:15:09

parents being involved in their kids's

01:15:12

education and and recognizing the

01:15:14

strengths, the weaknesses, what works

01:15:16

best for your kid and pushing them to be

01:15:18

the best version and giving them the

01:15:19

tools they need and and to your point,

01:15:21

your kids are in public school, but

01:15:23

being when you see things in the public

01:15:24

school system that you don't agree with,

01:15:26

being able to address that and not just

01:15:28

be angry, but be like, how do we make

01:15:30

this better? And I think that's what

01:15:32

we're missing a lot of um in this

01:15:34

country. And to your point, I think also

01:15:37

being able to have that socialization

01:15:38

and know we're growing up in a multitude

01:15:42

of cultures inside of the US. You just

01:15:43

go between states, you go between towns.

01:15:46

There's a multitude of different

01:15:48

cultures and belief systems that happen.

01:15:50

And we got to figure out a way to come

01:15:52

together and work together. And you

01:15:54

know, sometimes we got to set

01:15:55

differences aside. Sometimes we got to

01:15:56

have healthy disagreements.

01:15:59

We got to work on that, people. So hear

01:16:01

me all. Right. Amen. Thank you so much

01:16:04

for coming. Thank you so much. Um, like

01:16:08

I said before, go stream the album. Go

01:16:10

support this guy. And, um, Jeremy,

01:16:12

you're always welcome back in the Ex

01:16:14

Homeschoolers Club. Uh, thank you for

01:16:16

doing what you do. And, uh, bring a

01:16:18

smile to people's faces. Thank you,

01:16:20

Jacob. Appreciate it. Can't wait to get

01:16:22

my Ex Homeschoolers Club membership card

01:16:24

in the mail. Very excited. Yeah. Yeah. I

01:16:27

got to work on that. I gota That should

01:16:28

be the merch. Honestly, I've been I've

01:16:30

been playing around with some ideas. I'm

01:16:31

like, that's that's probably the move

01:16:33

right there. Let's just send out

01:16:34

membership cards. But, um, yeah. Well,

01:16:37

cool. Well, to the audience, thank you

01:16:38

guys so much for tuning in. Hope you

01:16:40

hopefully you stayed to the end. I

01:16:41

really appreciate those of you who did.

01:16:43

And, uh, until next week. All right.

01:16:45

We'll see you. Peace.

01:16:53

[Music]

01:16:59

[Music]

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

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Episode Highlights

Jeremy Alder's Debut Album
Jeremy discusses his upcoming comedy album, 'Almost a Grown Man', filled with humor about his upbringing.
“Go give it a listen. It's super funny.”
@ 00m 37s
May 01, 2025
Welcome to the Ex Homeschoolers Club
Jacob Gooden introduces Jeremy Alder, a stand-up comic and fellow ex-homeschooler.
“I like to think of all of us ex homeschoolers as a big weird club.”
@ 02m 16s
May 01, 2025
Homeschooling in the 80s
Jeremy shares his unique experience growing up as one of the first homeschoolers in rural Texas.
“I didn't know any other homeschoolers. I didn't know that was even an option.”
@ 04m 26s
May 01, 2025
Gratitude for Mentors
Reflecting on the impact of mentors who saw potential and nurtured passions.
“Y'all really saved my life in a lot of ways.”
@ 20m 54s
May 01, 2025
The Journey to College
Navigating the transition from homeschooling to college and the challenges faced along the way.
“I wanted to be a Christian rock star.”
@ 25m 44s
May 01, 2025
Finding Purpose in Learning
Discovering a passion for philosophy and science that reignited the desire for education.
“I wasn't stupid. I was just uneducated.”
@ 40m 30s
May 01, 2025
Rolling Out the Red Carpet
Colleges began to show interest in homeschooled students, making the application process easier.
“They rolled out the red carpet for me.”
@ 42m 56s
May 01, 2025
The Struggles of Homeschooling
Reflecting on the gaps in education that showed up in college.
“That's when the gaps in my education really showed up.”
@ 43m 14s
May 01, 2025
The Comedy Journey Begins
Starting comedy later in life provided a therapeutic outlet during personal struggles.
“Comedy was a way I was looking for ways to fill my time.”
@ 50m 21s
May 01, 2025
Instant Feedback in Comedy
Stand-up comedy offers immediate reactions, making it unique among art forms.
“With comedy, you know pretty quickly if it's really bad or really good.”
@ 54m 50s
May 01, 2025
The Hard Truth of Comedy
The challenges of the comedy industry often overshadow the fun of performing.
“The being on stage is the smallest part of it.”
@ 01h 01m 14s
May 01, 2025

Episode Quotes

If men in suits drive up, don’t answer the door!
Is Stand-Up Comedy the Best Therapy for Ex-Homeschoolers? | #35
Y'all really saved my life in a lot of ways.
Is Stand-Up Comedy the Best Therapy for Ex-Homeschoolers? | #35
I think it would be so much fun to see that side of the world.
Is Stand-Up Comedy the Best Therapy for Ex-Homeschoolers? | #35
I told everybody I went to private school.
Is Stand-Up Comedy the Best Therapy for Ex-Homeschoolers? | #35
The highs are really high and the lows are really low.
Is Stand-Up Comedy the Best Therapy for Ex-Homeschoolers? | #35
It’s always growing and changing.
Is Stand-Up Comedy the Best Therapy for Ex-Homeschoolers? | #35

Key Moments

Debut Album00:37
Ex Homeschoolers Club02:16
Homeschooling Experience04:26
Mom's Courage06:38
Social Isolation14:42
Journey to College25:44
Homeschool Experience45:24
First Stand-Up Set51:53

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

Was I a Homeschool Success Story—or Just the Exception? | #39

May 29, 2025

01:14:08

Was I a Homeschool Success Story—or Just the Exception? | #39

Are Homeschoolers Better Than Public Schoolers? | #40

June 19, 2025

57:14

Are Homeschoolers Better Than Public Schoolers? | #40

Purity Rings, Weird Analogies, and Why Sex Felt Wrong | EXHS #27

February 13, 2025

01:08:20

Purity Rings, Weird Analogies, and Why Sex Felt Wrong | EXHS #27

What Happens When a Homeschool Kid Becomes an Art Teacher? | #44

July 17, 2025

02:23:10

What Happens When a Homeschool Kid Becomes an Art Teacher? | #44

Welcome To The Ex-Homeschoolers Club!

July 18, 2024

00:43

Welcome To The Ex-Homeschoolers Club!

What Happens When Homeschool Kids Finally Enter the Real World?

May 15, 2026

54:04

What Happens When Homeschool Kids Finally Enter the Real World?

What I Learned Growing Up Homeschooled (And What I Missed) | EXHS #49

September 04, 2025

01:02:47

What I Learned Growing Up Homeschooled (And What I Missed) | EXHS #49

Does Homeschooling in a Huge Family Help or Hurt Social Development?

August 28, 2025

01:07:23

Does Homeschooling in a Huge Family Help or Hurt Social Development?

Leaving Evangelical Homeschool Culture Behind w/@UnReligiously

March 06, 2026

54:04

Leaving Evangelical Homeschool Culture Behind w/@UnReligiously

Am I Still a Homeschooler? Let’s Talk About It | #32

April 03, 2025

12:16

Am I Still a Homeschooler? Let’s Talk About It | #32

Was Homeschool The Best Choice For Me...Or My Parents? | EXHS #24

January 23, 2025

48:50

Was Homeschool The Best Choice For Me...Or My Parents? | EXHS #24

Why Homeschooling Needs Accountability...and What We Can Do About It

January 23, 2026

47:55

Why Homeschooling Needs Accountability...and What We Can Do About It