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well welcome back to the ex- homeschoolers Club I am of course your host Jacob good and today I'm joined by
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my friend Laura I'm so excited to have Laura um we have known each other for a
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good long time I know as far back as I can remember in my homes School Journey she's pretty much been around and a part
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of it um from what we were talking about before we uh before we hit record I think we met during group Solutions um
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um does that sound about right yeah okay sounds about right so and for those of you who don't know group Solutions was
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basically an opportunity for uh our homeschool Community to come together and parents taught classes and kind of
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put kids in more of like a classroom setting so we actually got to learn how to interact and be semi-normal um around
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each other so anyway Laura I'm stoked to have you thank you for coming on the
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show yeah thank you for having me well let's kick things off with your homeschool Journey like what were you
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always homeschooled I know you're one of four siblings and um I I know at some
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point all four of you have been homeschooled but like were you homeschooled all the way through um was
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it a later in life did you go all the way through high school what what was the deal there yeah uh I was
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homeschooled my whole life um I think my twin sister and I are the only ones out
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of the four uh siblings that were homeschooled throughout my older sister was in public school and then my younger
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sister went to independent studies in high school so my twin sister and I were the only ones that were fully
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homeschooled throughout and um I mean I had a really good decent experience but there were some ups and downs for sure
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absolutely I think we all have those like cringey moments of that we're looking back on and we're like H that
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wasn't that wasn't great that could have been yeah a lot better totally well
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that's really cool so overall a semi-positive experience which is cool but um are there any moments that stick
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out in your head as like as just like a favorite home I mean obviously you did it your whole life like um I talked
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about in my solo episode of just like I I had already gone to public school for a couple years and so it was really hard
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to transition into home school and all of a sudden be at home with my mom all the time but like that was just
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obviously normal for you because that was all you ever do um but are there any particular moments that stick out in
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like early homeschool years of just like I don't know it could be weirdness could
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be just like an awesome moment is there anything like that that sticks out for you for like a cool moment of
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homeschooling was like we so in high school we did background work so we worked I think three or four years maybe
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our whole High School career in La so we did schooling and like the the sets the
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background sets and that was really cool um and like growing up you know there was the flexibility of like if we wanted
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to have a random day off we could go have a day off and go to the park or go to the beach um or family came into town
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you know it was kind of a free day uh we would make up for it later but you know
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we could easily take that day off um so that was something I really enjoyed was the flexibility of it and to just be
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with my sisters all the time you know we we fought like crazy but we like were together all the time and those were
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like my best friends so um and a negative probably aspect for me was just you know being so isolated
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and missing out on like the sports um the proms homecoming and you know the friends aspect even though I had friends
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in homeschooling there was that part of me that felt like you know I didn't have
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public school friends like that's what I had to have was public school friends I
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don't even know why not that they were you know any better like friends or friends but um there was just that part
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of me that was like I wanted to fill that void um and just to you know have a locker decorate my locker and teachers
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so um that was always something I wanted now looking back I'm like I was so silly
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because I was fine and I don't want that now so that's hilarious you brought up
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something I totally spaced on the fact that you um you guys were like in TV shows and stuff and uh yeah I I
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shouldn't have spaced on that because I literally was just watching uh new new
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girl and you guys were in an episode of new girl um yeah and I recently just watched that episode so um I don't know
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how I spaced on that but what like how many TV shows were you guys in do you remember oh gosh I so it was Andrea Jose
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and I that did background work so between all three of us God there was so many TV shows and commercials movies um
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I think oh gosh I don't even know how many shows I was on I was on a lot I think the ones that you could probably
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see me is probably like three or four shows um I was on the show Parenthood for six months or five or six months um
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so that was really fun new girl I was on I think it was two days uh and that was
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the one show new girl that I was like I don't want people to remember me and that's the only show people see
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me on because I was so sick that day like I had a fever like the flu I had to cough like I look so miserable in that
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episode I'm the one wearing the green shirt and I remember thinking like I never want people to remember me from
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this episode and now that's the only episode people will message me about so
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it's so funny um but yeah so I was on New Girl and then Parenthood was my favorite show because that was just very
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family based um and like everyone was just so sweet anded down to earth and I pretty much did like senior year on that
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Universal Studios lot so was that kind of like the goal of like like how did you guys fall into that like was it was
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it something where you guys had just wanted to act and so you were like okay let's look for opportunities and then
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like was there was the the goal to like make it a career or like what what was kind of the the thing there because
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that's like such a cool thing to like be able to do especially like to say like
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oh yeah and you know I as a homeschool kid yeah I also got to go like work on TV shows and commercials and stuff
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that's super fun well since we were Andrea and I were little we wanted to be
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like an actress um I was like I want to be like Hillary Duff you know and of course be the next Lizzie MaGuire and so
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that was like our dream was to be famous and so um and my older sister had experience doing that when she was
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younger and so my mom kept telling us like I don't think you want to do that
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and all this stuff and and so we were like you know begging her to do this and so finally she let us and she was going
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to let us make that decision ourself um like once we were in high school and she
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like kind of took us in there our uncle was an actor um so he knew what industry
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what managements to get into that were safe um and so that's what we did was we
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got into the management and they just started sending us calls and they call you and say like I need a 16-year-old
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Hispanic girl with black hair to be on you know this show and stuff and then you accept the the call and then they
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send you and so um so that's kind of how we got started now once we started it I
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was like I hate it I do not like this um it was so fun and I'm thankful for the
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experience and the shows I was on but it was so tough because there is this very high
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standard that you need to be perfect you need to be skinny you need to be tall you need need to be outgoing like all
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these standards that you need to meet and if you don't meet those standards they will tell you the directors will
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tell you no matter how old you are um and so that was really hard to hear that and even if you met all those standards
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um you can't like outshine the main actress and that happened to me once on a TV show was I looked basically too
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good and so they needed to move me to the back because I look too good and so that was like a little shocking because
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it was like okay I'm doing everything you would like me to do and now I look
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too perfect so um so that was a little tough and you know there's just the competition with all the other kids that
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want their shot that want to be an actor comedian models whatever so there's a
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lot of competition and then you're dealing with Stage moms and Stage moms are a whole another level and so that
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was that was really hard was the comp ition and at that point I wasn't doing
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background to become an actress or a Hollywood star it was it just became like I just needed to make money because
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I wanted to provide for my family um and so by that point I was like I don't care
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like if the uh directors assistant directors would come in looking for kids they just moms throw themselves at them
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they throw their kids at them and I was just like you know I'm over it if I get
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picked I get picked and a lot of the times I would get picked because I wasn't throwing myself at these
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directors um but yeah so it was really tough and then once I turned 18 you're
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no longer um covered by like law that like you know all those under 18 law requirements so you're like free game so
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by that point I was like I'm over it I don't really want to do this anymore um
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my parents were going through a divorce and so I was like I just want to be home
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I don't want to keep going out to LA gone for 10 hours a day not knowing what's happen at home so that's when I
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was like okay I'm I'm done with this but I am thankful for the the opportunity
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that I had especially being so close to La so that's super cool I yeah I don't
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know that we've ever chatted about that before but I always like I've always
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kind of wondered because I was like I mean I think every kid has that dream of like oh I want to be famous someday but
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like not everyone actually like take steps to like pursue that and so it was definitely cool to like you know know
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people that were like oh well he's been on TV shows and they've been in commercials and things like that even
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though maybe it wasn't as glamorous behind the scenes um yeah but that is really cool and also like so many skills
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that you learn off of that right the ability to like go out and if you do have lines or just like be confident
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enough on camera I mean I'm super camera shy um it's so uh yeah so it's weird
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that I'm doing a podcast now because uh I I hate being on camera I've been so
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much behind the scenes for so long and and now I'm like okay got to put it on
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on me you're doing great though well thank you um also you know being a homeschool kid you know a lot of us fear
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like public speaking I mean I think a lot of people fear like public speaking or like just that having to present
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yourself to the world right and so that's what a great way to kind of like get out of that like just push through
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that is like be on TV right um and especially like you got to go through like you said like auditions and
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fighting against like other kids who are up for the same role and like but I think what you said there about just
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like not really caring just being like you know I'm going to let my performance
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speak for itself and people respected that and picked you for it the best advice I ever got when I got to college
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was I had a professor who sat me down and just said you got to learn to be cool like you just got to fit in with
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the crowd um kind of a thing yes and obviously you present your unique self but like you're not pushing to you're
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not overdoing it right you're just there cool and you can hang with anybody and
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you can be cool and you can just be in the room and so um yeah you and your sister have always been super cool in my
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book um too cool for school so oh my gosh oh thank you so aside from that is obviously a huge extracurricular which
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you know a big myth that is that a lot of homeschoolers don't have extracurriculars that is a huge
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extracurricular but you also talked about the fact that you felt like you were missing out so much in school
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because you didn't have a locker you you weren't in sports you know um kind of
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the standard you know junior high high school stuff that a lot of a lot of guys and girls go through and so yeah was
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there any other like extracurricular stuff you guys were doing aside from aside from acting in school or like or
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was it mostly just that um so that's mainly our focus in high school but we still were doing like um the homes
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school dances uh dance lessons so like swing um I I remember you talking about like the Co swing I remember that one
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Lindy Hop the waltz um the English country dancing so we did all those um but I have to say this like sorry to my
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mother because we did not go easily we went kicking and screaming at least I know I did um because I did not want to
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learn those dances um because I I felt like I was too cool for school um now I'm super thankful I know those dances
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but yeah so we did all those lessons and then I would do like AYSO soccer um every year it was like every fall so
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that's something that we would do and then we also were at the community college Ventura College um taking Sports
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classes so you do like soccer um swimming tennis or whatever so even like a gym class so that's kind of like what
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we would do um and I think that's pretty much it like we would do like knitting
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classes there's a lot of that HX stuff I feel like cuz yeah my sister something
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like that and home economics we had to learn how to be like a good housewife you know and cook and sew and all these
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things so there was all that stuff um and I did not go to these things easily it was usually a fight with my mom so um
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some of those classes were fun and I'm thankful I did those but then there's
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some that I'm like I could have lived without you know so it's so funny because I love cooking and I haven't
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always loved cooking but I just I love cooking now and um just and and I work from home and so like okay yeah and so
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like having a a meal on the table when my wife gets home from work is like I love it so like our it's funny cuz I
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tell people I'm like our roles are kind of perversed like I was used to you know
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my dad would come home from work and my mom would have dinner on the table and now I'm that so our joke is always that
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like I'm just such a good housewife um and uh you know I'm one of the Real
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Housewives of of Nashville um but it's just I I really do enjoy like that stuff
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I've always enjoyed things like sewing and like more of the home X stuff um and
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so it's just funny um to look at it and and like you said go Kicking and Screaming into it but you also brought
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up one of my favorite pastimes which was swing dance of course and yeah that was
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always a blast like you said our Homeschool Group had like dances every year and they would try to kind of like
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give us somewhat of normal High School junior high experience by having dances but it was not the typical like DJ
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bumping grind kind of a thing it was like we we would do swing dance Ballroom uh Waltz Tango Tango was risque though
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but um oh yeah but naughty chaa yeah Tango was naughty um yeah but those skills have come in so clutch so many
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times for me on just like just the most random events that I've been at where
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it's just like oh we everyone's doing the Charleston all of a sudden it's like
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oh I know how to do that you know um but that's so funny um earlier I think you
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brought up you brought up prom and I was remembering as we were talking that we actually went to the same prom not
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together um but it was on a padle yeah not not together um I am having Julia on though and we are gonna hopefully talk
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about that's going to be so fun oh my gosh yeah I'm very excited so I went to
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two prom I went to prom with car France and then the following year that was my junior prom and then my senior prom I
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went with our friend Julia and um you were there as well it was on a paddle booat from what I remember yes and uh it
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was in combination with I think was it it was like a Christian High School I think um and so it was a mix of
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homeschool kids and private school kids a lot of who we who we knew um yeah from
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from they they had been homeschool kids I think a lot of them uh before they went to private school yeah so good
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times but that was I remember those experiences being a little bit different because since it wasn't a homeschool
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event the the DJ was just playing like dance music and I felt like The Homeschool kids like didn't know what to
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do with it right yeah and my inner Mexican came out because uh well I don't look it I am a quarter Hispanic and so
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but I was all I had was my my great grandma Alice in my head going you just got to go out there and shake it um
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because that was her birthday parties was always just like this big festival and they would have a DJ and we just go
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party on a dance floor kind of a thing and so um and she's and I would always
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be as a kid I was like but I don't know how to and she's like it doesn't matter
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you just make it up as you go along and so I feel like you did the worm at that I don't think so I I was never a worm
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guy maybe you were moving a lot now that you're talking about it I remember you
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dancing a lot like on the boat right is that what you're talking about yeah that
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was yeah I remember it was you and then there had to been someone else I think it was someone else that went to the
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Christian School that was dancing like so crazy and it was like wow like we were dancing to like dynamite and okay I
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have to share I remember I do remember the proms but those were not the proms I want um I do remember the first prom we
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went to was that Aliva Adobe I believe um because we were both part of a cheve just so everyone's aware um and I
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remember we someone requested the rift shop by mamore to be played and and I can't remember I'm pretty sure you were
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there I don't remember if you remember this moment but um that song came on and
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a mom got very very upset and demanded it be shut off and then we had to start praying do you remember that I do
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remember that you know it's so funny how music is such a like it it can be such a
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turnoff and goes into like the protective nature of like homeschool parents and like religious parents in
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general of like my parents let me get away with a lot obviously they protected me from some some music Thrift Shop was
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one that it snuck in but the queen version snuck in um kind of a thing but I had an instance where after I had
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graduated I I left I went to college I got a phone call was at college that I was coming home for Christmas and they
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said hey we need a DJ for this homeschool Christian dance and I was like or homeschool Christmas dance
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excuse me um and I was like oh yeah sure I still have all the playlists I have all that stuff so yeah I got it swing
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dance you got it I got you covered I'm there I'm DJing I put on a queen song
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and a mom instantly runs over to me and I'm like oh no and she is all these songs by the way have been approved by
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achieve they've gone through the circuit she comes running over to me and she
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goes do you know that that song is sing by a gay man and I was like yes it's
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Queen like every everyone knows who Queen is I and she's like you need to turn that off right now and I said well
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it's approved music by a so like if you don't like it you can take it up with
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them but like I'm not about to just cut this song off Midway um kind of a deal
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and her and I had this like little back and forth and she was and it was just so
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funny and I don't know I don't know why I get it for some songs obviously there
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there's there's very runchy songs out there that yeah maybe we shouldn't have
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been listening to but um at the same time it was just like we're enjoying we're dancing to Queen it's not that big
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of a deal you know um yes exactly yeah that was that was a fun time because I remember that song was very popular and
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it was like come on like we I was about to drop it like I was really excited finally a good song was playing and then
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we had to pray so yep that was a highlight of prom for me and then of course the boat was fun and
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chaotic as well being dress coded up and up and down so let's talk about that a
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little bit because it's something that well I personally got dress coded maybe
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once or twice but it was but for guys it was a lot easier so in our homes School
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Community for dances for I mean it was basically for everything there was dress code for guys it's pretty simple just
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wear slacks and a dress shirt I mean unless you show up wearing a dress shirt that has like Playboy bunnies on it I
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really don't think they're going to turn you away kind of a thing you know like
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it was one of those things where it's like yeah unless what you are wearing has something risque on it or if you
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show up and ripped jeans like they're really not and even if you showed up in
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jeans half the time you could get you could you could smooth talk your way in yeah the girls had it so much harder
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because I mean one you guys had to cover cleavage straps had to be a certain thickness like lengthwise it had to be
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you know so what like tell me about that and like what that I don't know like
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that just seems crazy to me oh my gosh that was I was telling my mom this like that was probably the
00:22:05
most tough situations to be in as a junior higher even Elementary I don't know what how old we had to be to go to
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these dances but however young it was all the way through high school was just very um hard to hear things you know
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that they say you know have lasagna straps not spaghetti straps don't show your cleavage the ne the your skirt
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needs to be touching the top of your knee and don't make the boy stumble like
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just to hear things like that where it's like you're always the problem and you
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have to make sure that you hold a higher standard as a woman especially for the boys that are going through so much um
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it was really hard because um there there were ways you could smooth talk to get in but you could smooth talk one mom
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and three moms are upset so um so that was really hard because when you did get in you're getting looked down upon of
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like oh she's she's showing and and I hated when the rulers would come out
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when they would pull the rulers out to measure your skirt make sure see how close it is is it half an inch quarter
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of an inch touching your knee I hated that because at that point everyone could see you you're at the front door
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right next to the front door is the whole ballroom dance room and your friends are watching oh she going to
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come in you pay your money you go in um and then to be turned away and say no you have to go home and change and for
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families like us like a grw up in oxnar having to go to these dances in Ventura or even ohigh it was hard and like I
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love the dances because I got to be with my friends um so like my mom would take
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us home and we would change and she would take us back so it was things like that that was really just annoying we
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and know it's not like these these moms didn't know us these were our friends
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moms these were moms in achieve that knew us and it was just like let us in sometimes I mean at some point we just
00:24:05
started bringing extra clothes with us because we didn't want to have to make
00:24:09
the trip back um so we just go change and and you know you work so hard as a junior higher in a high school you want
00:24:15
to look cute you're going through puberty you know you want you're starting to notice like oh I can wear
00:24:20
makeup I can do my hair and then to be told like oh you're showing too much go
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home at some point it's like you might as well just wear a t-shirt shirt and
00:24:29
skirt down to your ankles because you're going to get talked about sometimes
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emails would be sent um and that was that was really hard because I think we started to gain a reputation as we just
00:24:43
don't follow the rules because there's you know two of us with my twin and I
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then my older sister who was in high school still at some point I think we did some dances together um so it was it
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was really hard and annoying and I think what likes me the most is don't make the
00:24:59
boys stumble because it was like that is not our job yeah to keep the boys from stumbling it's really interesting you
00:25:06
bring that up because I just did an interview for a show um and I talked about purity culture and I talked about
00:25:13
growing up in Purity culture um and yeah that was a big that was a big emphasis of like it's the girl's job to make sure
00:25:19
you don't stumble and I always first of all that's um just play as simple it's um as guys it's
00:25:28
already responsibility to you know keep your thoughts to yourself and to you know and like to control yourself
00:25:35
honestly and you know if a girl wearing spaghetti straps over lasagna thick straps um is going to be that thing that
00:25:42
does it for you uh check yourself um because that's not okay um and so I feel
00:25:50
so bad for all all of you girls because I mean I think there was an unreasonable
00:25:55
expectation that wasn't even necessarily coming from your peers it was coming from
00:26:01
parents right wanting to protect their kids but well so I think that's where
00:26:06
it's hard because it it doesn't 100% come from a bad place but it comes from
00:26:12
a place of parents not wanting to have actual conversations with their kids about like when you're going through
00:26:19
puberty I mean just like the emotions and the the hormones are raging right and like if you have a parent who's
00:26:27
actually just willing to sit down with you and talk about what's going on in
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your body and like how do you respond to that and like especially as a guy like also like what does it mean to like have
00:26:35
female friends and like what does it mean to be in a romantic relationship and all these things it's like well all
00:26:40
of it's really not that hard to control yourself and um and not not look lustfully at a girl um because it's not
00:26:50
her job to um it's yeah it's not her job to keep you pure it's your own job you know and
00:26:57
so I sorry that that happened to you that is terrible I laugh about it now yeah it's it's nice to kind of be out of
00:27:04
it um to some degree right and it's like okay now you don't have to necessar you
00:27:10
don't have somebody telling you you can't wear a short skirt or spaghetti
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straps or strapless um even um for my sister I know that was a big deal too my sister super tall she's taller than I am
00:27:22
and her legs just go for miles and so just finding anything that fit her was just also ridiculously hard you know and
00:27:29
yeah and I mean my parents were on the board of a chief so if we showed up and we got dress coded that was not a good
00:27:35
look right um yeah uh but so they kind of they checked us like usually before we left the house which I mean I'm sure
00:27:43
your mom did too I'm sure your mom went you guys look amazing like we're gonna
00:27:47
go we're gonna have such a great time and yeah to show up and then be told like no your dress doesn't meet it's
00:27:52
like what are you talking about that is just no are you kidding me yeah I mean we would pull our birs down to as low as
00:27:59
we could so it could touch our knee and then once if we did pass then we'd pull
00:28:03
our skirt back up like oh it's not touching our knee or like pull our shirts up as high as we could and then
00:28:09
once we were in pull them down a little bit but my mom was like our biggest supportive like you know you girls are
00:28:15
beautiful don't let them tell you anything like she she was very supportive and like she would remind us
00:28:21
like these are not your moms this is not your mom I'm your mom and if I say it's
00:28:26
okay you can wear that and so so that really helped cuz you know it's it does
00:28:30
leave a mark so um so to hear that you know when we get dress coded even like even if we didn't like she would say
00:28:37
like remember I'm your mom and you know you only need to listen to me in my rules like obviously respect the other
00:28:42
moms um and like you look beautiful you don't have to dance with a guy you don't
00:28:48
want to so like to have those pet talks before um was really helpful because there was times where we would leave the
00:28:54
dance like sometimes crying because you know people moms would make comments and
00:28:59
stuff so our mom was very supportive and sometimes she would like you know drop us off because it was just easier not to
00:29:05
be there the drama and by the time we went high school we we had a backbone we could stand up for ourselves where I
00:29:14
think that started causing friction between some homeschool moms um but by that point we were just like you know
00:29:21
you can't tell us what to do yeah which was not good I'm not saying that was the
00:29:25
right thing but like we just had to start standing up for ourselves cuz it it was either stand up for ourselves or
00:29:30
let it affect us in the life in the long run yeah so I yeah I we were talking before we started recording about those
00:29:38
dances and and um and we were talking about you felt safe dancing with me because I wasn't a creep and firstly I
00:29:47
appreciate you saying that and that's not to toot my own horn but um but it it's funny because I think the only
00:29:53
comments that ever got made to me at those dances was I had one dad come to me after I had danced with his daughter
00:29:58
and he said I didn't like the way that you touched her and I was like okay and
00:30:04
I don't know what you want me to do about it I I didn't like I didn't feel
00:30:08
like I did anything wrong and I it was not the intention right um and the result of that was I never danced with
00:30:14
her ever again and I always felt really bad um because years later she found out
00:30:18
that like that was the reason and she was so mad at her dad for it um H because he couldn't tell me what I did
00:30:25
wrong he just was like oh I didn't like whatever I was like but what about it
00:30:30
did you like and it's like it's you know it's just like those little comments
00:30:34
like that can dig at you and and yeah really get you upset and bothered which is like not a good thing you know yeah
00:30:40
definitely not I don't know if you experienced this at all but another very common thing in The Homeschool Group was
00:30:47
if you were dating um a lot of homeschool families a lot of Christian families in general do this but they do
00:30:53
the whole like courtship before you're dating parents are very invol they go on the dates with you that kind
00:31:01
of thing but like did you have to experience anything like that um no I so it was kind of confusing like my mom's
00:31:09
role is we couldn't date until we were 16 but my dad's role is 18 um so I just
00:31:14
didn't date I was like there's just I don't want to date it's too much drama
00:31:18
um and I I was more into the partying and like other things you know besides dating so that really wasn't my focus
00:31:27
until after After High School I did have crushes and I'm sure my mom knew who my
00:31:32
crushes were CU I probably was horrible at hiding them um but I never experienced it but I would see things
00:31:40
that would happen that was like that's a little interesting or like you know the
00:31:44
courtships was I think I saw so many courtships that it just freaked me out that I didn't want to I didn't want to
00:31:51
be in one I would hear what the rules were what you had to do and it was just like no not that my mom would make me do
00:31:57
that like my mom was super chill about that stuff but it was the pressure coming from everyone and I really feel
00:32:06
bad saying this I really did not want to date a homeschooler um so my interest was
00:32:13
never in The Homeschool like area I had crushes and stuff but they were just more like for
00:32:19
fun I was a high schooler you know thirsty kind of thing but it was never like oh I I want to marry him or I love
00:32:26
him it was just like yeah cute let's mess with him but yeah no I'm I'm really
00:32:31
thankful I never experien this and I'm sorry you did but I just yeah I think
00:32:37
that would have scarred me if I did no you I think we both let out um now being married to non- homeschoolers because I
00:32:45
I don't know about your husband but my wife definitely points out some of my
00:32:48
weirdness and has helped me overcome certain things where she's like I don't
00:32:52
get why you get hung up on this and it's like it's it's the upbringing thing yeah
00:32:57
that she did didn't have to deal with that and so she's just like she's cool
00:33:01
she's normal you know um so to speak I mean we're all normal in our own ways
00:33:04
but oh yeah totally that's exactly how my husband loves to point out like oh
00:33:09
your homeschooler showing or is that something you guys did in homeschooling like the swing dancing and like certain
00:33:16
shows like I wasn't allowed to watch SpongeBob or like w wizards of wly place
00:33:20
and he's like oh it's the whole school in you and it's like yeah but I'm also
00:33:24
glad I didn't watch SpongeBob now um but like there's things like that that he
00:33:29
likes to make jokes about and now I I think it's funny cuz I'm like oh my God
00:33:32
that's actually pretty hilarious that what I thought was still normal is not
00:33:36
normal so yeah it's all within the context of what you live in right it's
00:33:41
like it yeah you realize you don't realize until after the fact that you're
00:33:45
like that was not that was not normal um in any sense of the word but um let's
00:33:51
talk let's pivot a little bit and talk about post homeschool years and like kind of going into
00:33:58
career path you're now a mom um like what what did that look like for you um
00:34:05
it was very challenging um because I think the main thing was my parents got divorced when we were 17 so um senior
00:34:14
year they were we were going like our family was like separating and it was just really a really dark time so by the
00:34:20
time that all finished and I finished high school um I just was in a very dark place and so I really just focused on
00:34:27
partying drinking and all the things you're not supposed to do um so I was still in Community College I had been in
00:34:37
Community College all throughout High School uh which I'm very thankful my mom
00:34:41
had us do uh so I was continuing my community college education during that time but I was so into partying and all
00:34:48
that I was failing my classes so um I ended up taking some time off from college and just working uh like just
00:34:58
like low-end jobs and because I just wasn't ready I wasn't ready to go back
00:35:01
to college I was dealing with a lot of stuff um and finally I think maybe two years after out of high school two or
00:35:10
three years uh my mom sat me down and was like you know you really need to go do something to make you happy because I
00:35:17
was finally getting out of my hearty face and just bad lifestyle and so she recommended that I do ywam which is used
00:35:27
with a mission it's like a six-month Mission strip and so I just needed a change there was so much change that had
00:35:34
happened in the last 2 three years that I just needed basically to get away and so I did I went to Germany and Malaysia
00:35:41
for a total of six months um and that just changed my life I think I just needed to heal I needed to repair my
00:35:48
walk with God and deal with everything that um felt normal in my childhood uh I needed to just deal with that because it
00:35:57
was not normal and being homeschooled you're so isolated even though you're
00:36:00
doing all these extracurriculars you're still very isolated um so I felt trapped
00:36:06
for a lot of that um so to deal with that and heal was very helpful and then once I came home I was ready to go back
00:36:12
to school so I finished Community College then the pandemic hit and that just was really hard um but I made it
00:36:21
through you know my husband who was my boyfriend at the time really helped me pass Community College
00:36:28
and if it weren't for him I would not have a degree or my mom my mom really pushed us um she I know there's that
00:36:36
stigma that like the mom sto After High School my mom was with me till I got my bachelor's degree this past year like
00:36:43
she never gave up she always helped me with FAFSA she always helped me with classes like you know even being 21 she
00:36:51
was doing things with me to help me get my college education so um so then I finally got accepted to a university
00:37:00
after Community College and then got my degree in Communications and it was hard
00:37:05
because when I look at it I'm like I basically was in college for like well including high school over like 10 years
00:37:13
but aside from that it was it was probably like four years and so to see my friends that are my age who got their
00:37:19
degrees like three four years ago and I just got mine this year was a little challenging but now I feel like so much
00:37:26
in a better place cuz I'm like everyone's journey is different and at least I got my degree that was my only
00:37:33
goal in life like sounds silly but my only goal in life was to just get my bachelor's degree because we had gone
00:37:40
through so much that I just needed to know I could do it because like hearing your whole life from my dad like oh you
00:37:48
know you're not smart enough and you know college degrees are worthless and things like that to know that I was able
00:37:54
to do it was so empowering for me and so have that college degree be married and
00:37:59
have a kid like it's been amazing but I am really thankful because my mom she
00:38:05
basically held my hand the whole time and I'm so thankful for that because I
00:38:08
know a lot of kids didn't have that uh but she just she really believed in all
00:38:13
of us and pushed us and you know we were we were monsters to her all of us with getting our degree but she never gave up
00:38:21
on us and now all her kids have a bachelor's degree or master's degree so
00:38:26
I'm really thankful and that's just where it's been so don't ask me what I'm
00:38:30
doing with my degree now because I can't answer that but I have it that's okay
00:38:35
hey you you have a six-month-old so I mean you are allowed to play mom for the time being um yes for as long as you
00:38:42
want um and you know and also I mean degrees it doesn't mean you ever have to
00:38:48
use it you will use it regardless but it's just yeah and you know what's so
00:38:52
interesting is that I think in The Homeschool Community there's kind of this idea especially in a Christian
00:38:59
homeschool community that everybody's family is like super happy behind the scenes and like things are going well
00:39:06
and like you know and that's just not the case the more and more I talk to people the more I realize like oh my
00:39:12
gosh like their parents hated each other or as siblings like they really don't
00:39:15
get along or like you know there are these insane things that we never knew we going on behind the scenes um and so
00:39:24
every like you said everyone's journey is like so vastly different and you know
00:39:29
obviously like congratulations to like making it through and um yeah I never I never want to judge anybody for like oh
00:39:37
it took you 10 years to get a degree that's like you know it's like no you
00:39:41
did regardless how fast how quick you how slow it doesn't matter like you did
00:39:45
it that's that's incredible yeah and during all that you healed and you traveled and you probably had incredible
00:39:53
experiences during that whole period as well so so yes collaps to you um of course that's wonderful and
00:40:00
congratulations that you said you graduated this year like just a few months ago wow yeah I graduated in May
00:40:06
so last of well technically I finished in December but I walked in May so yeah very cool well congratulations that's
00:40:15
amazing thank you that yeah I remember walking through and that feeling of like accomplishing something like that
00:40:23
is is huge and like I had parents too who kind of like they had prepped me to want to go to college
00:40:29
or at least to pursue something outside of like being a homeschool kid and just the way that my drive was I was like if
00:40:37
I don't go now I never am going to do this and so I was like I can't I can't
00:40:41
stop so I went right from high school into college and then did it in three years mostly because I hated it there
00:40:47
because I was so used to like I liked the homeschool experience of like hand me a textbook and like hand me a
00:40:53
syllabus and I can just make it happen um so like going to classes was like not I didn't I didn't love that but like
00:41:00
doing it in three years and then walking out of there being being like Oh my gosh
00:41:03
I did I did something like when I figured out that I could do it in three years I was like oh my gosh I'm going to
00:41:07
do this I I can make this happen and uh yeah and I don't feel a desire to go
00:41:12
back and do any other type of higher education I don't want a masters I don't
00:41:16
want a doctorate um but I still am learning every day which like I think is important um that's super cool for those
00:41:24
people who are thinking about homeschooling their kids and I mean you're a mom now so you actually can
00:41:31
like even speak to this probably better than a lot of people can but like who are thinking about homeschooling their
00:41:38
kids or doing like non-traditional school for their kids like would you say like yes like 100% do it you know are
00:41:45
you on the fence about it like what um what goes through your head when it comes to that kind of stuff I definitely
00:41:51
want to homeschool my kids for sure my daughter right now but um I would love to homeschool I think I would do it
00:42:00
probably the same way as my mom not keeping us as sheltered and you know under Rock she really educated us on
00:42:08
like old classic movies and music and stuff so I appreciate that she didn't block us um from that kind of stuff
00:42:15
which didn't make us resistant to her in that area um so that's kind of the area
00:42:20
of how I would want to homeschool um you know our kids someday uh and just the freedom to do what I want want and teach
00:42:28
what I want and but also you know teach what's out there in the world with a
00:42:33
little bit more control um I've just heard some stories you know how the public school system is now that it just
00:42:39
makes me a little nervous um but you know it's it definitely will take a lot
00:42:46
it makes me nervous because I'm not a patient person and so I know that you know that would be challenging but uh
00:42:55
I'm definitely very open to it recommend it to people because I do think it's
00:42:59
amazing I know a lot of homeschool families now that are still in that process and they love it and I think
00:43:06
it's so different now today than it was for us in high school um since the pandemic because everyone had to do
00:43:12
school at home so there's a lot more resources there's a lot more um educational books that people can use so
00:43:19
like I feel like there's way more resources for families to use rather than one or two specific curriculums um
00:43:27
and yeah I would just I would love that my husband is a little on the fence you know he doesn't want to have his thing
00:43:34
is I don't want to have weird homeschool kids and I totally get that that's
00:43:37
completely valid but I just remind him you know like I turned out okay like people are so surprised when I tell him
00:43:44
I was homeschooled because I have very good social skills um so I always encourage him like you know I would I
00:43:50
would do it to the best of my knowledge of what I was trained and brought up in my family but I know he is nervous for
00:43:58
that so hopefully that's our goal is to homeschool um or just have a little bit
00:44:04
more control of the education that we give our kids yeah that freedom yeah I think Co changed it for a lot of people
00:44:11
right that freedom to be able to like to go do stuff I did school at Disneyland one day like I heard on your podcast
00:44:18
that's awesome yeah and it was it was one of those things where I think when
00:44:22
it actually was happening I was not thrilled for it but after it had happened it was fine because it was one
00:44:27
of those things where I'm pretty sure my parents were like okay we want to go to
00:44:30
Disneyland on this day you got to have all your school work done I didn't do it
00:44:34
so I had to take it with me and that meant okay I got to sit in Disneyland and work on math problems well this
00:44:41
sucks but it actually was a lot of fun because Disneyland is as most people know is a magical place great music
00:44:48
great smells characters walking around magk exactly it made it actually so much better than sitting at the kitchen table
00:44:55
um trying to knock it out so yeah that's so cool but yeah I have so many friends
00:45:00
now who they had kids during the pandemic or like right before the pandemic and their kids are just
00:45:06
starting to hit like School ages and they're like yeah we're thinking about
00:45:10
pulling our kids out and doing homeschool and like going and traveling the world and seeing stuff and I'm like
00:45:14
that is such a cool opportunity of like yeah you can literally go anywhere you can do it anywhere and there's so many
00:45:20
more resources than there were back in the day and I think a big part like you said you have great social skills um
00:45:28
your mom obviously did a killer job and you were a Comm major so you also have a
00:45:32
degree in Communications which is good but uh that being able to grow up in a community of people helps so much I
00:45:43
think so many people think of homeschool kids as just like they only exist at home you know and maybe they come out
00:45:49
for a blue moon when they restock the pantry um but that was just not the case I think for a lot of our friends is just
00:45:56
we we had friends we had community and yeah had lonely moments and stuff like that
00:46:01
but it was we were around people um yes and that's that's the killer thing
00:46:08
that's what gets you uh socialized with people so yeah tell your husband not to
00:46:13
worry um because yeah I'm sure I'm sure you will do a great job and I'm sure your mom
00:46:19
again will hold your hand and be like uh you're doing this wrong oh yes she is my
00:46:24
biggest supporter but also my biggest critique person so and I'm sure she would love to be part of that process
00:46:30
with her grandkids so yeah hopefully we'll see yeah she'll be like I don't
00:46:35
want to teach but you know bring me in as an adviser um yeah yeah right the principal yeah field trips I'm in um
00:46:43
exactly oh my gosh yes don't give her any ideas anyway I'm trying to think is
00:46:49
there anything else you want to say to hes School families or any other I don't
00:46:53
know stories that have popped up in your brain of just like oh my gosh this one time
00:46:58
um yeah otherwise like this has been fantastic no I mean I think I would say like you know for the moms out there is
00:47:07
it's okay to talk to your kids I feel like that's something that I saw growing
00:47:11
up was so there wasn't a lot of communication with parents and kids I mean maybe I'm wrong but it just seemed
00:47:16
like there's a lot of with friends that I have now that were homeschooled of
00:47:20
like oh I didn't know this or I wasn't taught this um especially about like
00:47:24
when it came to like sexual uality and Purity relationships um you know I think it's obviously it's awkward but I think
00:47:34
it's important that that conversation is out there because especially now like
00:47:38
social media is everywhere and so um you know if you don't talk about it someone
00:47:42
will go find it and get the information that they want and I was thinking about it before I came on here I was like I
00:47:49
didn't have like Instagram or SnapChat or Tik Tok when I was like in junior high I think High School's when that
00:47:57
stuff started to come out but even then I wasn't as into it then um I had Facebook but like that was like you know
00:48:04
barely anything and so um but it it is so different nowadays because I see it challenging and damaging some kids
00:48:13
because they're looking for that void of like what am I missing and like you know
00:48:18
how do I look perfect and all that stuff and that's something that I want to make
00:48:22
sure I do with our kids is just having that open conversation um um so just an encouragement to Future homeschoolers is
00:48:31
just be open it sucks and it's horrible and I hated having those conversations
00:48:35
with my mom but I'm thankful now because there's things that I know that you know
00:48:40
a lot of my friends didn't know um there's things that I also did had no
00:48:44
idea about that I learned from a lot of my friends and so it was like back and forth but um obviously no parent is
00:48:51
perfect and no family is perfect but um I think people just think homeschooling you know a lot of bad documentaries have
00:48:59
been put out there now and like you know they're under a rock and isolated and
00:49:03
don't come out like you said unless to fill their Pantry but like it really is
00:49:07
a beautiful thing and to see even homeschoolers now out in public at the park and hanging out it's just it's so
00:49:14
fun because it's like this is what like it is like this is what homeschooling is
00:49:19
like you know we're out we're outside we're in nature we're doing school at
00:49:23
the park you know so yeah that's just my little SP no absolutely I 100% agree
00:49:28
with you and it's also never too late you know there's lots of things that my
00:49:32
my parents uh we didn't talk about when I was a kid and now we're talking about
00:49:36
and we have that open line of communication so I love what you said there about parents just being willing
00:49:41
to talk to their kids about anything and everything uh whether it's it could be
00:49:46
yeah anything and everything sex included um please for the love of God um we need better sex education in this
00:49:51
world pleas educate the kids it's never too late so I love that I love that you
00:49:56
added that and yes homeschooling has it seems like been fantastic for both of us it had its ups
00:50:02
it had its downs but ultimately it was a plus um it got an A+ so um yes anyway Laura this has been fantastic um and uh
00:50:12
thank you again for coming on the show I'm so stoked to reconnect with you and
00:50:16
hear what's going on and congrats on your degree and a new baby and all of the wonderful things that are happening
00:50:23
in your life thank you for having me this so much fun all right guys until next time
00:50:31
uh this has been the ex- homeschoolers club and uh if you enjoyed feel free leave that like leave a subscribe do all
00:50:36
the things you know um to do on the social medias and uh until next time we'll see you later all right bye
00:50:45
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