00:00:00
I think the thing that would for me early on was um just saying a lot was the big difference from the American
00:00:06
act. I've always said I'm the Rosa Parks of the Seawword, right? Bernie Dana Ky's
00:00:11
house did not get picked up and they go quickly any other just quick pitches for season 3 or is that the one we're going
00:00:17
with? If the aliens came down and they said give us your two best not just looking just your best human beings and
00:00:24
we gave them you Jackman and Margot Robbie come on now. You can't get better as a nice st.
00:00:33
What's with this? You like kind of Okay. Welcome to flying the wall dance partner which is a uh it's sort of been thrown
00:00:40
together year seven. We almost worked the bugs out. Uh this is Dana and um
00:00:46
we're going to tell you a couple. We've resolved an issue because we had super flying by fly in the wall and I know
00:00:51
someone personally who had a mental breakdown because she could not process it. She went into a institution for a
00:00:57
brief period of time. I talked to her last week. I just never understood. Super fly. What's the difference? I
00:01:05
never can do it. And I shook her. I said, "David Spade solves all problems."
00:01:10
Slapped her face and she goes, "I feel so much better." You know, I have friends. They finally
00:01:17
figured it out and now we switched it. What? They finally figured out how to do Superfly in the other one and then we
00:01:23
switched it. So, everyone's confused. It'll take a few years and then everyone's going to get it. But I will
00:01:29
tell you to 2037. I have a quick story that I have a question about Fourth of July. And um I
00:01:37
think because I saw some Joe Dirt, it's kind of a Joe Dirt holiday. This one, this is where I get the most Joe Dirt
00:01:42
summer and of course with infolded in that it's a Joe Dirt holiday sort of baked in, right? David Spade summer, but
00:01:48
Joe Dirt. So, I feel like I want to get a big company to do Joe Dirt fireworks
00:01:53
and have the spleen splitters, the whisker biscuits and all those things. That would be funny. It be funny. And at
00:01:59
the end, it's fireworks, but it goes into a whole gigantic Joe Dirt image. I mean, in a perfect world. Yeah. Yeah.
00:02:06
We'll say that it won't do that, but we'll say it could do that. And also just the Roman candles. Just a Roman
00:02:13
candles are great. Couple black cats. You do a mixed bag because I've seen some lingo. What are you, a fireworks
00:02:19
specialist? I'll I'll show you a clip of the movie, but um Pistol Pete. Pistol Pete. What are your favorite
00:02:25
firecrackers when you grew up? Do you remember any? The actual firecracker was fun. My friends and I were in a
00:02:30
Volkswagen bug and we were going around town smoking weed high school throwing firecrackers out the window. So, we're
00:02:38
lighting them and throwing them. Lighting them and throwing them. I see someone in the front seat. They're lighting and throwing them. I see the
00:02:43
other person rolling up the window. So the guy literally lit the firecracker the window closed and then I'm three too
00:02:52
and then everyone goes I've done that with gum stunk right in
00:02:57
the window and I go Heather. Is this airing before or after Fourth of July? It's airing right after day. Day before.
00:03:05
Oh it is okay. Oh all right. That's still good. What's Okay. I have another
00:03:12
I want to ask you have another firecracker story. There cannot be another fourth of July story. Okay, go
00:03:17
ahead. We're up in the peninsula and Candlestick Park is blowing off there.
00:03:22
The San Francisco Giants blowing off fireworks. We're down in the peninsula and we're looking up and uh I said,
00:03:29
"Look him candle." So my friends again were pretty high. So they laughed for like two hours. Look them candle. And
00:03:35
then when a friend would go down to grab his beer or water or something, you'd always say, "Oh, you just missed it."
00:03:42
And that became our running game. That's not a big miss. The best one. The best one. I always think the last one is not,
00:03:50
you know, like I go, that's the last one's got to be. And then there's more. Well, that's just funny when they're like, and then it's fading out. Okay.
00:03:57
And then they go, yo, it's got to be the finale. Wait a second. Then another
00:04:03
buildup, you know. Oh, good. You got the sound effects. That helps it. All right. Puff Daddy trial. Puff Daddy trial.
00:04:10
Okay. What would as Scooby Well here and now we're going with the Scooby news brought to you by Scooby-Doo and Casey
00:04:17
Kasem starring as Shaggy. Yeah. So catch us up. Well, you know P Diddy's trial is
00:04:23
resting Scoop. Okay, you do the talk. P. Diddy's trial
00:04:29
is resting. Scoop apparently had a thousand bottles of baby oil. No one knew what he was doing with them. Scoop,
00:04:35
what do you think they were doing? What? anal.
00:04:41
We can't say that on a podcast. PG-13 podcast. I said, "Oh, yeah. I understand
00:04:47
what you're saying, Scoo, but I don't ever want to go to a freak off at P Dies. Now, let's make like a banana and
00:04:54
split." Yoinks. Oh, there's a pastrami, too.
00:04:59
Phil's over there going, "What did I sign up for?" He knows this place. He goes, "This isn't the real thing, is it? When do the real guys come in?" I think
00:05:07
this is not the A team, is it? If Puff Daddy gets off, which he might have by this time, his ego will be puffed up,
00:05:12
right? There's a lot of people that want him to get off. They just say, "Oh, they want him to get off. They want to beat the court system. [ __ ] those guys.
00:05:17
They're just trying to hassle Puff. He's great." And he'll run out and be such Kingcock because he'll be like, "Now
00:05:23
everyone knows what I do." So, if you're actively joining in, you get it and
00:05:28
you're in. So, that will happen. Will he go to prison? I'd say the odds right now are against him going to prison, but I
00:05:35
don't know everything. What do you think? Like we said, but is it illegal to have a freak off with baby oil? Was
00:05:40
it consensual or you know, even when people say it wasn't consensual in another interesting court case,
00:05:47
shockingly, the Idaho killer Oh, that wants to admitted guilt if he can have life in prison. And I don't know why
00:05:53
everyone thought he was guilty, but his photo looked like this. He's terrifying. By the way, I would
00:06:00
never do that to anybody. I like when they have all these new things like they owe. But we pinged your phone right where the murders were. He's like,
00:06:06
"What?" Well, you can. I can't believe it. The Idaho killer says he's guilty.
00:06:12
No one ever looked that guilty. Did you see the picture, Scoop? No. No.
00:06:19
He looks very We have two new characters. I don't know. Scooby news. You're Scooby-Doo and
00:06:25
I'm Shaky. Scooby. It's hard to understand him. Well, that's the funny part. How would he say [ __ ] you?
00:06:32
Ruck you. Right. Now you're doing Sandler. Heal.
00:06:39
Anyway, what else you got? More on the P trial. Good for him. Wrap it up in a
00:06:45
nutshell. Good for him. Nice little wrap up in a cute little local story. Okay, so last week we had Julie Bowen. A lot
00:06:51
of people watched it. A lot of people commented. A lot of people listened and I thought she was very fun, entertaining guest. Bust my balls. But I do have a I
00:06:58
have a quick fix because I said we sat courtside one time at a gene years ago
00:07:04
and she said no it was great but they were like seventh row. It's I found proof. You were courtside. Yeah. Oh so
00:07:10
Julie Bowen got it wrong or I no just miss not like
00:07:18
that. Miss got it. Okay let me see where the picture is. Tick tick tick tick pick
00:07:23
tick. Here it is. Okay. Why you you not only do you have the dickpick, you have
00:07:28
to say every time you go by it, I see one dickpick. You know it's a pick. So why are you keep mentioning it? Because I'm just thinking out loud like, okay,
00:07:35
that's that. Okay, here's one. I understand. Look at that hat. Oh wow. What a damn fool. She looks great. She
00:07:42
looks great now. I mean, she's not. She's she's beautiful. And look and then it says here
00:07:49
NBA courtside seats. Look, you've got your tongue in her ear and everything. I don't want to see
00:07:54
that. No. Receipts proof. Yeah. See,
00:08:00
so I did send them to her and just say just so you know. And she goes, I don't know if that's true. I'm like, you don't
00:08:06
know if proof is true? Okay. She still thinks it's a AI fake. Everyone thinks everyone that is AI. That's funny. Okay.
00:08:13
Other than that, what else on the docket real quick? I got real quick and I cannot talk more. Oh, I had a Oh, here's
00:08:19
my show in Portland on the weekend. I The quick story was it was a beautiful day in Portland. 72 degrees, the nicest
00:08:25
day they've had all year, and I have a show inside and and it stays light till like 10. So, yeah, I don't even want to
00:08:32
go to my show. And then I see some people in Calwood say go, "Oh, no, you have a show tonight cuz we're going to
00:08:37
go see Post Malone and Jelly Pop Jelly Roll." And I'm like, "Oh." I go,
00:08:43
"Really? That sounds fun." It does kind of. And they go, "Yeah, it's outdoors. An outdoor caramel festival." I get
00:08:50
home, the news is live from there. there. When I get back to my room, I go, "Uh-huh." And they're like, "We're out here with Jelly Pop, and he is really
00:08:58
tubby." And let's show a wide shot. Really wide. I'm kidding. I think he's skinny now. Well, I think they're
00:09:04
merging into the same person, him and Post Malone, covered in tattoos, singing songs. I don't know. I don't know. They
00:09:11
did. You did well. I mean, you I did well. You did very well. I wanted it to be like off the hizzle. Well, you were
00:09:17
backstage. I had a local news feed cuz I I follow around Portland action news and they had to go out there
00:09:23
and people in line going in and you go, "How do you feel about D?" Well, we love David's Pay, but it's so freaking nice
00:09:28
out. We're really torn. That's very true. All right, let's get to Jim Jeff.
00:09:34
We've had our fun. We've had our fun. We're going to slow things down a bit. Um Jim Jeff is a good bud and uh fun
00:09:40
dude I've Killer Face. Sorry. Oh, you want to do the serial killer face? I just did it. I just I I threw it out for
00:09:45
as a code. Get out of your system. Jim Jeff, I'm very thankful. Is we already
00:09:52
started? Is this started? No, we we're halfway through to be honest. We're
00:09:58
we don't have any structure or introduction or anything, but we'll do all that later content or anything.
00:10:04
Well, I've met David I've met David many times before and I've never I've met you in passing, Dana, but I'm a I'm a big
00:10:11
fan, mate. I'm I'm very excited to do I saw you go crush. We met at John Loveitz's comedy club, right? That's
00:10:17
correct. That's correct. That's correct. A while back and you were kind of unassuming. You had your accent and
00:10:23
everything, whatever. And it was a kind of a rough room cuz that high high stage
00:10:28
everything, but then you three stories. Then you killed and I go, "God, this [ __ ] guy, man. That's Thank you." I
00:10:36
don't know when that where that was. Yeah. Jeff is uh that's you power
00:10:42
powerful and and funny. Uh I was going to ask you that like you
00:10:49
you were one of the first that really walked outside stepped outside the lines in some of your early specials like
00:10:55
Yeah. And I comedians love it because I don't do that but I love when I see someone who's literally saying exactly
00:11:03
what they want to say without any censorship. It's very you do it. I I I think the thing that would for me early
00:11:10
on was um just saying [ __ ] a lot was the big difference from the American act. I've always said I'm the Rosa Parks of
00:11:16
the Seawword, right? Because no before a lot of people are saying that. A lot of people before me there was a
00:11:24
restriction. You couldn't you couldn't say it in the comedy club. There was you could say whatever you So my first comedy special for HBO I swear to God,
00:11:30
right? I swear to God uh had a light at the back of the room and it was a
00:11:35
15minute mark, you know. You know how us comics, we normally have a light when we have 5 minutes left, right, to get off
00:11:41
the stage. I don't know if many people know that, but that's what we have. We have a light at the end of the room to tell us when to get off the stage. I had
00:11:46
a light that at 15 minutes lit up, and that meant I was allowed to say the word [ __ ] because Netflix because cuz uh HBO
00:11:53
said to me, uh uh the ratings go in 15-minute increments. We want people to
00:11:58
like you. We don't want them to turn off in the first 15 minutes. So, you can't say the cword for the first 15 minutes. So, I had a light at the back and at 15
00:12:05
minutes I say, "Aren't pandas a bunch of cunts?" And then I was off to the races. Can I plummet the ratings now? Let me
00:12:11
ask you a question. Do are you like if an American hears
00:12:18
either a British or Australian accent saying the wood can't, you know, it's softer to our ears. Are you guys
00:12:25
enamored as Australia? Should I go down there and play little tiny clubs? Not like I'm a huge star anymore, but I
00:12:31
would play down there. Are they enamored by the way we our accents are? Like we are enamored of Australian and British
00:12:38
accents. The the short answer is no. We're not. You asked the big star down there. Your movie is a massive The
00:12:44
difference is we grew up watching your TV all the time. So we've we've seen
00:12:50
American sitcoms since that's why there's so many American Australian actors doing American accents in films
00:12:55
and not the other way, you know. So we we grew up watching stuff which is weird because when I was growing up I was a
00:13:02
huge fan of like Wayne's World, right? Loved Wayne's World. Didn't know it was a sketch from SNL because we never had
00:13:08
SNL in Australia. That that was never a thing. So some of the movies that came out of SNL just seemed a little odd to
00:13:15
us because we didn't have a show. It's like it's like Mcruba. You were like what's where's Mcruba coming from? You
00:13:23
know what I mean? Also, you thought Gar was a real guy that just had done like 10 movies and
00:13:28
now he's doing Wayne's World and you're like, "Oh, that Gar guy is pretty funny." I had I had a sitcom back in the day on
00:13:36
FX and uh it went for two seasons and it was just about me taking Welcome to Cuntville. Yeah, that was the one it was
00:13:42
called. It was called It It was called Legit. And Legit was about me taking care of a disabled guy, which was
00:13:49
vaguely based on my real life. We almost had a season 3, but season
00:13:54
three, the whole entire arc of season 3 that I had written out, Dana Carvey was
00:14:00
a main character and I was going to ask you to be in the show and you were going to play yourself. The plotline of the
00:14:05
opening episode was I was taking care of my disabled friend, the wheelchair. My character had become famous uh doing
00:14:12
standup by the end of stand um season 2. I see your character, you doing an
00:14:17
impersonation of me on a late night show. I'm all coked up and I get upset and so I go over to your house to
00:14:23
confront you, but I I'm chicken so I can't knock on the door. So I get the [ __ ] out of the disabled guy's
00:14:29
wheelchair colosttomy bag and I put it into a paper bag and then we go up and
00:14:34
we put it on the doorstep to light it and do the classic, you know, light the dog [ __ ] run away, but we forget to
00:14:39
knock on the door and your house burns down. And that's the whole season arc from then on that that I'm your only
00:14:45
friend and you're sleeping on my couch. And I hadn't even really met you at that stage, but if you didn't take it, I was
00:14:50
going to ask David to do the role. I had options. I'll do it. Wow. And that throw
00:14:55
me up for season three. Extraordinary. Yeah. Burning down Dana Carby's house
00:15:01
did not get picked up. And they go quickly. Any other just quick pitches for season 3 or is that the one we're
00:15:06
going with? I I've got full scripts. I wrote the whole thing out. I thought it was a good
00:15:12
premise. By the way, the weirder the better. I say like some of these shows are too by the book and you just can
00:15:18
figure them all out. If you start that way, I'm in. Well, the the first the f the first episode of season one was just
00:15:25
me taking a disabled guy to a brothel, which is something I did in my real life. I had a friend with musculardrophe
00:15:31
and before he died, I took him to a brothel. And so, it's a sweet it's a sweet story. You know, he couldn't get
00:15:37
laid. It's legal in Australia, I should add, that being disabled is legal and prostitution. And they finally passed
00:15:44
the being disabled bill. I'm so glad. And we and I took him down
00:15:50
to the brothel and and this guy this guy had died a couple of times like his heart had given away. He'd been resuscitated. So me and his brother took
00:15:56
him down with the full knowledge that this might go tits up. You know what I mean? So we laid him down and then you
00:16:02
know the the the girl did what she did and then we put him back in the chair and then we went off and had a couple of drinks and that was our day. Now now I
00:16:08
told the story to so many people. I made a sitcom about the story. And then cut to a few years later, I see him and he's
00:16:17
like, "Hey, you made a lot of money on that story." I said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did." He goes, "You should take me to
00:16:22
the brothel again. It's only fair." Right? So, I'm thinking, "This guy's going to get his second [ __ ] in his life. I'm going to do it." Right? I'll
00:16:28
take him again. And I went down and they all greeted him like he was Norm from Cheers. It turns out that it turns out
00:16:36
that he he gives this sob story to everyone as soon as you walked in. They're all like, "Dan, by the way, was
00:16:43
he disabled or do we know?" And does the wean work? I don't know.
00:16:48
Did the experience go I don't know how Australians think of this phrase. Did it go tits up or not tits down? It went
00:16:54
tits down. I think tits down. She was on top. Is tits down something you say or not? No. No one says tits down. Tits up
00:17:00
is when something goes badly. There's no tits down. No, right. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's American tit I think I think the
00:17:08
term tits up means that like a banana pill slip like up in the air. Tits up
00:17:14
means it means I think I want to Australian actors cuz I I've just
00:17:20
noticed that they're not only good at American accents, they're perfect. Yeah.
00:17:26
And I start with Russell Crowe like immaculate and uh I don't know why that is. And and
00:17:33
the Australian actors you send us all seem alpha alpha
00:17:38
you know like nobody's kind of like a little guy or they're always seem to be
00:17:43
kind of they bring men big hulky you know there's you know there's a third
00:17:49
Hemsworth though that's a lot shorter who also is an actor. There's the two main ones and there's a third one. But a
00:17:55
tiny handworth exists. There's a and he's the eldest brother and he's the one who started acting first. He's really
00:18:01
nice, but the other two good-looking ones came along and went, "We'll have a go." Oh, he's not good looking either.
00:18:06
He's good. No, he's he's good-looking by our standards, but not by as a Hemsworth, you know, heates us, but he's
00:18:13
against next to me. He looks just great. But uh I I'll tell you my my one um
00:18:20
Russell Crow story cuz you mentioned Russell but you know all these guys all there's like 10 Australians right but
00:18:26
you know you know the comedian David Williams. Mhm. Uh Australian you know
00:18:31
he's a British he's on Little Britain was his sketch show. Yeah.
00:18:38
Yeah. He's the judge of uh Britain's Got Talent or something like that. So we we Oh yes. Now I know exactly who you're
00:18:43
talking about. Yeah. He's kind of pale. Really pale. kind of job face. Yeah. Yeah. So, me I was me, David and uh and
00:18:51
Russell were going out to dinner and Russell lives at the end of this pier
00:18:56
and in the harbor and on the bottom story of the pier, all these fancy restaurants along Sydney Harour, right?
00:19:02
They're all like lined up along Sydney Harour. And so we went down the lift. We started walking through the car park and
00:19:07
so it's just a car park with a few sort of like exit doors to different shops and stuff along the pit. And uh I said,
00:19:15
"Oh, what restaurant we going to?" He goes, "Oh, we're going to this Chinese restaurant. I eat there once a week. It's one of the best Chinese restaurants
00:19:20
you'll ever go to. I'm telling you, try the duck." Right? So we we we walking along and then I go, "How do we get into
00:19:27
it?" He goes, "I just walk in through the back. They know me." Right? So we get to the door. Russell just bashes
00:19:33
through the door. He goes past. There's a bloke like washing dishes. Probably thinking someone from ICE coming to get him, right? He's just washing dishes out
00:19:40
the back. Then we go into like then we go into the kitchen and there's like all the chefs in the in the clean bit,
00:19:46
right? So Russell bounds through. He's way ahead of us. Then me and David go in through the restaurant like this and
00:19:52
we're like, "So sorry for coming in through the back. We're very much looking forward to the meal. Thank you
00:19:57
so much for having us. Really appreciate you." We get out into the dining area and Russell's just standing there and he
00:20:03
goes, "Wrong restaurant. I went a door early.
00:20:10
I don't know that door. And so it was like it was like the most famous man in
00:20:16
Australia followed by the one of the second most famous people in Australia probably by me and it just was a cavalcade of [ __ ] We had to go back out
00:20:23
in the street and walk out and come back in again. Anyway, he does a very good American accent. He's a brilliant actor.
00:20:29
I mean, he's Oh, he's one of the best actors you ever seen. Master Commander, if anyone listening has never seen it,
00:20:35
it's like a a miracle of a movie. Russell Crowe in that the whole ship at sea. Have you seen it? I have seen it.
00:20:41
Yeah, it gets you seasick that film if you watch it in the cinema. There's a lot of rocking around.
00:20:47
I think so. So, you're you're huge in the UK. I saw
00:20:53
your tour. So, you're what's the name of your tour? God son of a carpenter. My father's a carpenter and it's just an
00:20:59
easy reference point, but yeah, I'm Son of a Carpenter. I was not tried to say. It is extraordinary. You're playing
00:21:04
Istanbul. You're playing massive dates, Manchester, all over Europe. Talk about
00:21:09
what the [ __ ] Well, I I I I got my comedy chops in uh
00:21:15
Britain. I I I did most of my early work in the UK. I I I went to the UK 2001 and
00:21:21
sort of stayed there till 2010 and then I I moved to America. But uh the the British comedy circuit I think is the
00:21:28
best in the world because the cities are so close together. You're never getting on an air airplane. You're going 50
00:21:34
miles Liverpool to Manchester, Manchester to Leads. You can double up in cities. You can start you can do an
00:21:40
early spot in one city and then end up in you can start in one country. You can start in Scotland and then finish in
00:21:46
England for your night. You know what I mean? It's an interesting place. I got to get count me in. But uh well, I can
00:21:52
get your gigs. You two would do all right. You'd do just fine. Don't worry about it. Well, what are we talking big
00:21:59
clubs or small theaters or small arenas? big arenas. You could do I think you
00:22:05
would do some uh medium to large theaters, you know, but I like let's not book the O2 just yet, but let's see how
00:22:11
the first two go. You much want to you'd rather sell it out than the the 10enters
00:22:16
book you in something too huge. What's the biggest room you will play on this tour? I have done the O2 before, but on
00:22:22
this tour I'll do the Hammermith I'll do the Hammersmith Apollo, which is like 4,000 and I probably will do two shows
00:22:28
there. You know what I mean? Like I'm not That's pretty juicy. Yeah, but that's like a nice room. And then
00:22:34
there's the Manchester AO and then um I think there's a gig in Amsterdam that's quite large that I'll do. I always do a
00:22:40
right in Amsterdam. I've been gigging a lot in Amsterdam for the last 20 years. It's just uh before we was legal, I
00:22:46
always used to accept gigs in Amsterdam. It's like how It's like how now that I'm a family guy, I always seem to find gigs
00:22:52
in Hawaii out of nowhere that I to take the family, right? Yeah. To take the family. Yeah. Take the family to Hawaii.
00:22:59
Yeah. I sell like 500 tickets, but it's [ __ ] worth it because I get to go to Hawaii. What What culture as when you
00:23:06
were at your edgiest? And I was going to ask you if you've adjusted anything just because you want to or you're still just
00:23:12
as edgy. What What are What country accepted you? Was are the British looser
00:23:17
with this? Are we more Patrician? You know, the British were the loosest country for comedy that I've performed
00:23:25
and still to this day. I I've always said that like like everyone always goes, "What's the difference between performing in the different continents
00:23:31
and countries?" Comedy's comedy. Laughs are all the same, but the heckling changes. So, I believe that Americans
00:23:38
try to correct you. If an America, if an American heckles you, they're always like, "Hey buddy, I tell you what, my
00:23:44
sister had bl you know what I mean? They're trying to get into an argument or prove you wrong." Um, Australians are
00:23:50
trying to trip you up. So, if you get close to a punch line, they'll just go, "Ah, I'm a cunt." They'll just yell something out so you just get off your
00:23:56
speed a little bit. Delightful. Yeah, they're niggly little [ __ ] right? And then um and then and then the British
00:24:03
try to out joke you. They try to say something funnier than there's there's a classic story, right, that um down at
00:24:11
the London Comedy Store, uh Kurt Douglas's, uh Michael Douglas's brother,
00:24:16
Jeff Douglas or something, I don't know. One of the other Douglases that was one of the other Douglases that was Yeah.
00:24:22
Yeah. One of the other Douglases, Kurt Douglas's son, he's having a bad He's having a bad gig at the London Comedy
00:24:28
Store. He He starts getting booed or a few jeers or whatever. And so he tells them all to [ __ ] off and he goes, "You
00:24:33
can all [ __ ] off. I don't need this. I'm Kurt Douglas's son." And then another and then one person stood up and went,
00:24:39
"I'm Kurt Douglas's son." And then another person said, "I'm Kurt Douglas's son." And they did the entire scene from
00:24:44
Spartus. The British The British are very good. They're very good. I have a quick story
00:24:51
that involves the the C word. So, um, Spartigus, right, used to be cancer, but
00:24:56
we're changing. So, I know we're going to set the record. Anyway, this is so
00:25:02
random and it'll amuse like three 3% of our audience. So, uh, Kirk Douglas is in Spartacus and he's really kind of buff
00:25:09
and, you know, muscular. Lawrence Olivier is in there. So, the guy sees Lawrence Olivier. He's this famous old
00:25:15
British actor, super famous, and he's doing leg presses really hard. They go,
00:25:21
"Oh, Larry, you're really working out." Yeah. He goes, "I'm doing Spartacus, and I don't want that [ __ ] Cook Douglas, to
00:25:27
out physicalize me." That's all I got.
00:25:32
[Laughter] That was a legitimate use of the word
00:25:37
from a story I was told. Yeah, that's that's an historical use of the C-word. Do you see Margot Robbie at Icebergs a
00:25:44
lot? Margot? What's iceberg? Oh, the iceberg's a restaurant in Bondi. The You
00:25:50
know about icebergs? Jeez, you look at me. Look out, Dana. Look at me. Where's Bondi?
00:25:56
Bondi Beach is a a popular uh beach that's close to the city center in Sydney, right? And it's sort of it's
00:26:02
where all the British people get sunburnt and skin cancer over Christmas. Um but uh there's a restaurant there
00:26:08
that overlooks like a public pool. The public pool has ocean water that pours into it, which is kind of interesting.
00:26:15
It's a fancy It's a fancy restaurant. I've never I've never met Margo Robbie. I'm a fan. I once was on I once was the
00:26:22
other guest on Kimmel when Marggo Robbie was on. Yeah, that's great. You know how like you're a guest on those shows, you
00:26:27
never meet the other guests. Yeah. You have to make a point of it because they're like somewhere else. You don't even know where they are. Yeah. they're
00:26:33
in a different dressing room and then you've come on then you leave or they've already left and you're the second guest
00:26:38
and then they've they're already in they're gone, right? So, so I've been on like episodes of those shows. Bill
00:26:44
Clinton was on one never met him, you know, these these different people. Um, but Margot Robbie was the other guest
00:26:50
and so her dressing room was next to mine and I just sort of lingered in the hallway just like acting like I was
00:26:56
looking for something just cuz just just I'm Australian. I have an inn. You know, I could have gone, "Hey, you know how to
00:27:02
linger. You can linger." She She would have accepted me saying the C word in front of her. It would have been music
00:27:08
to her ears. I'm a local. Don't you hate all these Americans here? That's said exactly. I would have said something
00:27:14
like that. But I tell you what, you got to give it up. The Margot Robbie flying the Australian flag. Is there a Is there
00:27:21
a better person on if if the aliens came down and they said, "Give us your two best, not just looking, just your best
00:27:28
human beings." And we gave him Hugh Jackman and Marggo Robbie. Come on now.
00:27:33
You can't get better than those two. That's true. Uh, let's see. I'll see
00:27:39
Hugh Jackman and Margot Robbie and Rayu. Jennifer Aniston and Russell Crowe. David Russell Crow is is he saying
00:27:47
Australian versus America? We're saying the two best humans. The two best humans we give to the aliens to represent us to
00:27:54
go this is what we've got. Okay. First of all, Russell can't bloody dance and
00:28:00
tap dance and stuff like he's not a threat. That's true. He's a triple threat. That huge. But he can sing. That
00:28:06
guy can sing. He's like, "Your buddy Brad Pit." Yeah. Brad. Yeah. Well, Brad's Brad's brilliant. Yeah. Of
00:28:13
course. You were talking about Brad off the air about how what is he 61 or something like that. Mhm. and he still
00:28:19
looks like the fact that we have a 61y old and I haven't seen the movie that we are going to watch a drive a Formula 1
00:28:27
car and go yep that seems about right like yeah when they're forced to retire at like 30. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He should
00:28:34
he should he should have a bloody special pass for the bus Brad Pitt at his age and he's going to be driving a Formula 1 car. Sure. And Brad and then
00:28:42
Tom Cruz and Mission Impossible. I saw Mission Impossible. Yeah. I got to co-sign that movie. It's brilliant. Tom
00:28:48
Cruz. I haven't seen the new one yet. It was Is he in the submarine for too long? Oh, it's the greatest movie ever. And
00:28:54
then you're like, well, yeah. No, just see it. Definitely see it. Yeah, it's very cool. You know, you don't want to overblow something. But as far as that,
00:29:00
like, you know, these people, they don't they take care of themselves. We were talking about that before the podcast. The old oldtimey actors, it was booze
00:29:07
and cigarettes and they died around 60. So for you like you used to one of your
00:29:12
early specials but we just said we just said Brad Pitt was a smoker and Russell
00:29:17
is a smoker and people they're still smoking they got some special they're getting blood put into you're like the
00:29:24
audience correcting us like when Well that that's true but recovery you know so I was going to because one of your
00:29:30
early specials really made me laugh. The only one I ever saw do this a little bit was Ricky Jery, but during the special,
00:29:36
I don't know if there it's kind of like a set, you would wander around and all of a sudden from behind something, you'd
00:29:42
pick up another pint of beer. And I don't know how many beers you did throughout the special, but that's something I've never seen. I know you
00:29:48
stopped drinking, but do you look at those days as any kind of funniness or because to me it really got my attention
00:29:54
like when's the next time he's going to grab a magic beer? Okay. So, I didn't
00:29:59
know that was going to be a joke and I only ever did that for the special. I never did that for my normal shows. I normally used to have my beers u just on
00:30:06
top of the box when I'm performing just ready to grab. But because with a special uh and I don't know if I'm doing
00:30:12
some inside baseball stuff here, mostly we record two uh uh u uh shows that
00:30:18
night, edit it together or just show the best one, right? Um and so they were
00:30:24
they they edited in every pint I had over two shows. So it did look like I had seven pints in 1 hour. Oh. Right. So
00:30:32
I can't take credit if I did not have seven pints in 1 hour. Now the reason that they were behind the box was for
00:30:39
continuity because the pint the the level of the liquid going up and down and I'd be leaving empty glasses
00:30:46
everywhere else. So just before I went out, they lined up for each show four pints of laga behind the thing. Now,
00:30:53
back in the day, um, people used to like go on about what a great drinker I was. I actually was a really bad drinker. Um,
00:31:00
I I would get drunk very very quickly. It just so happened in those first two specials, I was also on cocaine. But if
00:31:08
they asked, but that's the reason that was propping me up, right? And I I regret doing that in my life. And I, you
00:31:14
know, if my child is watching this podcast many years later, I was an idiot. But that was why I could drink.
00:31:19
So, I gave that I gave up all drugs when my son was born. When my son was born, I never took drugs again. Mhm. Um when
00:31:27
he's 12 now. And uh and I I I I never took drugs again. But I continued
00:31:32
drinking and everyone just thought I was a bad drinker. Everyone thought I was getting out of control. I was actually
00:31:37
in recovery. Like you say like two loggers, like two
00:31:43
pints. Then then you were sort of drunk. I mean like slurring and like I started
00:31:48
I started slurring after three points now. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So and so then I did some specials and I was just a
00:31:54
dribbling mess in all the specials. But I was just and so then my wife gets pregnant with my last child who's who's
00:32:02
about to turn uh four and I haven't had a drink since then. So uh and I I don't
00:32:07
miss it at all any anymore. Not at all. I don't miss any of it. Don't miss cigarettes. Don't miss alcohol. Don't miss drugs. Um I I regret doing all of
00:32:15
them really. I feel a lot better. Well, I was noticing that you look younger than the last time I saw you basically.
00:32:21
I mean, you look really good. I'm not I'm not sweating as much as I used to. You're shrunk down. You're more of a you
00:32:28
know, so I've never seen you messy, though. I think when I see you, it's maybe a more professional setting, but
00:32:33
I've never seen you messy. Well, yeah. Well, not anymore anyway. But yeah, no, I I just sort of knocked it on the
00:32:38
cigarettes was the hardest one. That's the hardest one to quit out of the lot is the cigarettes. And I think that's
00:32:45
the the I read there was a book uh Allan Card, Stop Smoking. The
00:32:50
secret to giving up cigarettes is this is you stop you stop envying people who are smoking. It used to be you'd give up
00:32:56
cigarettes for a while and every time I'd see a cigarette, I'd go, "Oh jeez, I wish I could have a cigarette." You got to start looking at them like they're
00:33:02
slaves to nicotine and that you're free. That's the only way. There's my motivational talk for the day. Oh, that's good. Hey, I have another Kirk
00:33:08
Douglas. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but this totally fits. This fits better than the last one. The last one was good. It was
00:33:15
good. That that [ __ ] musly [ __ ] Kurt Douglas. It was a good I did a movie with Kirk Douglas and Bert Lancaster. So
00:33:21
Kirk Douglas told me his dad was a chain smoker and then he quit. And I said, "Well, how did he do it?" So his dad
00:33:27
took a cigarette, put it in his pocket, and anytime he wanted a cigarette, and
00:33:32
he was Russian, he would pull it out and go, "Who is stronger, me or you?" Me. He
00:33:38
was so competitive that that just stopped it. Who is stronger? Me or you? Get back in pocket cigarette. I am
00:33:45
strong man. You're a [ __ ] little rolled up nicotine [ __ ] And that was
00:33:50
the quote. That was I'm just quoting Kirk Douglas. I'm just quoting Kirk Douglas. I was a
00:33:58
nicotine [ __ ] back in the day. Whoring myself to nicotine. Has it influenced your comedy at all? like your standup
00:34:05
writing just being completely off everything because the specials you're talking about were really wellreceived
00:34:11
and the last the last few haven't been as well received. Once you've gotten
00:34:16
sober I I look look Sergeant Peppers was arguably the Beatles best album, right?
00:34:22
It was nonsensical rubbish. That was all on acid and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I don't I
00:34:27
don't listen to the whole Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. was a painting, you know, like Julian gave me a painting.
00:34:33
I'm doing more Paul there, but you know what I mean. You sat down for a plunk, you know. Is that how you did it? We
00:34:38
would plunk John and I would look at each other sort of like a mirror. I'm just quoting him now. So, but yeah, but
00:34:46
uh I love Were you an opera singer, Jim, before you get a chance to answer? So,
00:34:52
this is this is a thing that always is brought up in my life. Yeah, I love it. It's a fake one. So, no, no, it's true.
00:34:58
It's true. So, okay. So, I I did school musicals cuz that was how you met girls,
00:35:05
right? If you're not if you're not athletic, I went and you go and do a school musical, join the drama club or
00:35:11
whatever. That's my theory on why actors are so short, right? I think it's because they they they couldn't play
00:35:18
sport at a high level, so they join the drama club. It's all about meeting girls, right? So, I I think Yeah, I
00:35:24
that's my theory anyway because um Makes sense. Um, so, so I I went and did uh
00:35:30
musical theater at at at um school and then there was literally like a talent
00:35:36
scout came to one of the shows and said he could be a tener and we don't have
00:35:41
many tall teners and that's a really like a hard thing in the opera company. And so they they they sent me off to
00:35:47
singing lessons with this guy called Richard Gil who was the head of the chorus master in Australia. I sound like
00:35:52
an old person talking about relatives you've never met. And I I studied for a while and then when I was 17 I was put
00:35:59
in the Australian opera in the chorus uh for one production of the Flying Dutchman which was Vagna. And so I was
00:36:05
just like like I was literally singing in German. Didn't know a [ __ ] word of
00:36:11
what I was saying. I was just buying German. Holy [ __ ] Well, I was just buying a CD and just mimicking the
00:36:18
German. You know what I mean? And then um you know they teach us the songs but I didn't know what the songs were about
00:36:23
or anything. So after that I went and studied at Whopper and Whopper is the Western Australian Academy of Performing
00:36:30
Arts which is where Hugh Jackman studied which uh they had a full scholarship ride to study musical theater. By the
00:36:36
time I was 2 years into that I was already being paid to be a stand-up comic and I just quit it in the middle
00:36:42
of the night and just went off on on tour. But I always wanted to be a stand-up comic but I thought you can't
00:36:47
study that at university. You got to I I wanted to study something in the performing arts and so I studied musical
00:36:53
theater and I would like to I can't sing anymore because cigarettes and yelling on stage and I've had polyps and nodules
00:37:02
and nodules I've done I've had the surgery and all that you can hear me voice is pretty raspy now but I could sing as a and it's weird because
00:37:10
everyone always goes sing us a song when they find out you're an opera singer and it's like you wouldn't have gone up to
00:37:16
Pelle when he was like hadn't played played soccer for 50 years and gone go on do a bit of keep up. See a bicycle
00:37:23
kid. Yeah. So, so it's it's a muscle I haven't really worked but I did do that.
00:37:29
I still have a fondness for musical theater. I still go and see any
00:37:34
production that comes to LA. I go two follow-up questions. Okay. One. Mhm. Did
00:37:40
that garner any puss? Because you went through a lot. Is that a new garner or
00:37:46
puss? Okay. Okay. I I will I will say this to to any any young heterosexual
00:37:51
man who can sing a little bit, right? Yeah. If you go to university
00:37:56
where they audition thousands of people to get like 30 kids, it was like going to fame and half of the class is male
00:38:04
and half the class is female. Those girls have been doing dance lessons since they were bloody kids, right? Uh
00:38:10
singing lessons, acting lessons, all that type of stuff, right? All the boys have been doing the same. And the 30
00:38:17
kids in my year at university, I think out of the 15 boys, 10 of them were gay.
00:38:22
And that just the numbers don't lie. That's too good. If yes, it tilts your
00:38:28
way. For sure. I'll tell you what, it it worked a lot better than being a comedian saying the word [ __ ] all the
00:38:34
time. That didn't bring as many women in as you think. You know, you could name your next special. A certain kind of
00:38:40
woman likes that kind of talk. Yeah, they were fun girls who did like me, but they weren't didn't they didn't come in
00:38:46
their masses. Yeah.
00:38:51
Okay, here's your special, Jim. Ready? This is a new name. Here we go. Tall tenner. Tall tenner. I'm calling my new
00:38:57
special. It hasn't come out yet, is called uh uh two limb policy is the name
00:39:03
of the special. Okay. Limb like Limb. Two limb policy. Because I I have and I
00:39:09
talk about this on the special, but because I did that sitcom with the disabled people, a lot of disabled people come to my show. I have a meet
00:39:15
and greet after the show. I always let the disabled people join the meet and greet and I take photos with all the uh
00:39:20
different people with disabilities, but I can't like someone wrote to me and
00:39:26
said, "Hey, I'm bringing my uncle to your show. He's disabled. Can we come backstage and meet you?" And you can't
00:39:32
write back how disabled, right? And you can't ask for a photo, right? But we
00:39:37
have to have some parameters. I just can't have a lineup of people with [ __ ] dyslexia bothering me, CDs. So,
00:39:43
I have a I have a two limb policy. You have to be missing two limbs or they have to be doing nothing. What And if
00:39:49
you have two limbs that are [ __ ] up, you can you're lucky enough photo with me.
00:39:56
Take a picture of this. You're allowed to come backstage and meet this [ __ ] if you're missing two limbs.
00:40:04
Uh, okay. That's good. I have a question also from the audience later on that
00:40:09
one. At some point we got to get to your show because we know uh you Oh, the show is Go ahead,
00:40:16
Dana. Well, you're out. You're on a little press tour for your show. Sure. We can't forget about that. The snake.
00:40:21
The snake on Fox. The snake. I saw your billboard hogging [ __ ] Sunset Boulevard. I'm not on the Billboard.
00:40:27
That's That's how That was an executive decision. What? David, what was your Fox show with with Snake in the title last
00:40:33
year? Oh, Snake Oil. Snake Oil. This is called the snake. His was called snake oil. What channel? We're part of the
00:40:40
snake family of Fox. Oh, it is the same billboard. Yeah. It's by the Chateau Marmont. Yeah. Yeah. So, we uh we snake
00:40:46
it up. Yeah. Um The Snake is a reality show that's similar to uh Big Brother or
00:40:51
Survivor or Fear Factor. It's got elements of those three shows. Um so it's it's good-looking people living in
00:40:58
a house in the jungle doing tasks where they have to eat gross food. But the what the secret source in the show is
00:41:04
instead of like an elimination ceremony or where people get voted off anonymously, what happens is uh the
00:41:10
person who wins the task gets to become the snake, they get the coveted snake medallion and then if they get the snake
00:41:16
medallion, they get to save the first person and the person who gets saved gets to save one person. The person who
00:41:22
gets saves gets to save another person. It it snakes down the chain uh setting up a chain reaction. So, you don't have
00:41:28
to have a majority rule uh to like you in the show. You just need to make
00:41:33
really one or two friends that will keep saving you, but you can't repay the favor. So, if someone saves you, you got
00:41:39
to save another person. So, so like like you get a lot of skull duggery. You get a lot of um skull duggery. Skull dug.
00:41:46
There's not enough skull duggery out there. Yeah. Oh, I tell you, I was explaining this show the other day um on
00:41:53
some good morning something and I said the word skull duggery because that's what I always think about the show and you know what skull duggery means like
00:41:59
uh pirates and stuff. Old English skull duggery. Yeah, skull duggery. And the
00:42:05
and the lady went so if you want to watch the snake there's a lot of skull buggery. Buggery. Buggery is the English
00:42:14
legal term for anal sex, right? Yeah, I saw that on the on the Churchill movie. Oh, you get a bugger. Remember that?
00:42:21
Yeah, exactly. The word buggery is like the legal term. The buggery happened. Blah blah blah. And so she just said on
00:42:27
morning TV, "Come and watch some skull buggery." And I think it got through. I don't think anyone noticed. [ __ ]
00:42:32
everyone tunes in for that. Could I just for a sec? That look that's a winner. So just for a
00:42:39
second going back because I kind of spaced out for a second. So you're in you're in Argentina in a jungle. Where
00:42:45
is everybody? What are they wearing and who are they? Okay, so when I I I I set
00:42:51
out this the start of the show, episode one, I'm standing on a crate and there's all these crates around me which was
00:42:56
meant to be like the crates you'd bring reptiles in. You know what I mean? And I said, "Come out of your crates, you know, I've got an earpiece in. I don't
00:43:03
quite know who's who." And they they open the crates up and fair in man, we had like um we had like like a a priest
00:43:12
with a collar on. We had a we had a bulletproof vest. We had a we had a
00:43:17
rodeo rider with the chaps and spurs and all that type of stuff. It's like the village people. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Exactly
00:43:23
like And we had And we had um I got a Village People story to tell you in a second. Okay. So So we had we had an
00:43:31
only an only fans model, right? I thought you know that jury duty. Yeah.
00:43:37
Or the Josh Mo show. I thought I was the only real person and they were all
00:43:42
actors for like the longest time. They were tricking you. They were tricking me. But I
00:43:49
I was the mark. I thought I was the mark. That's a good idea, actually. It's not a bad idea for a show, right? And
00:43:55
I'm like I'm like, what? What the [ __ ] And you're in the middle of nowhere. You don't First of all, first of all, who
00:44:01
employs me to be a game show host? Like, it's already weird. And so, so all these people go and so right up until the show
00:44:08
aired, I wasn't completely sure. But I'll tell you my village people's story. So, I do another podcast with a
00:44:13
comedian. Good Amos Gil, another Australian club 1% club. Yeah, I do the 1% club in Australia. But this podcast,
00:44:20
this podcast is called ATM at this moment. It stands for uh
00:44:26
different search on the internet. Anyway, so lingo. Yeah, lingo. Yeah. Oh yeah, I forgot about the other one. I
00:44:31
got to research that again. Yeah. So anyway, so I uh I I was doing a joke about how Trump has the YMCA playing at
00:44:39
all of his concerts, at all of his benefits or rallies and everyone does the the the dance and all that type of
00:44:46
stuff, right? Yeah. And I said I said it's so funny that that that song is
00:44:53
about having gay sex in the showers and now all these evangelical people are dancing and stuff to the song. Seems a
00:45:00
little odd. I got a cease and desist letter from the Village People saying
00:45:06
that I was going to be sued for defamation for saying that the Village People Music had gay overtones.
00:45:13
Is it does it not? It turn Victor Willis who's the cop. I I guess he was always at the front and he never turned around
00:45:20
to notice the rest of them because because he's he's he's married to a
00:45:25
woman called Karen Willis. Before that he was married to Felicia, Mrs. Tuxable
00:45:30
from the Cosby show. He was married to her back in for Yeah. And um and and you're not allowed to say that the
00:45:37
Village People music has gay overtones. What? Or they will sue. They will get
00:45:43
now possibly. We could be I said, "What about in the Navy and Macho Man? They're
00:45:50
as gay as [ __ ] Come on now. Come on now. Come on now. There's a there's a lyric in in the Navy
00:45:56
called We Want More Seaman." Like I'm all for a double ton, but don't try to
00:46:02
tell me I'm a [ __ ] I think they're just saying, "Come on,
00:46:07
guys. Don't I mean, they haven't been outed to like three people so far." So they It's a catchy freaking song, man. I
00:46:16
tell you what, cuz after that, I started listening to their other music. It's banger after banger after banger. Yeah.
00:46:22
Yeah. It's like It's like It's like for disco music, you can't stop the music is a hell of a song.
00:46:29
I mean, that's such a hook. Now, my son watching you in Wayne's World, too, too.
00:46:35
Oh, yeah. Yeah. He knows every step because he loves that movie so much. Did you do it in that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:42
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He You were the construction worker, weren't you, Yeah? I was dressed as a construction worker.
00:46:47
I think we're running away from the bad guy or something. Somehow we end up in this nightclub and Wayne and I are now
00:46:53
doing YMCA with these people. Yeah. They they're all they're all doing uh um yeah
00:46:58
the YMCA and like you're all spies like you were up a telegraph pole and then you heard something and then I think
00:47:04
Wayne was like a cop and then somehow they found an Indian for no apparent reason. That's right. And all of a
00:47:09
sudden it comes together and then all of a sudden it was a little bit like like uh what's that police academy when they
00:47:15
end up in the blue oyster. It was a little bit of that. they ended up in the wrong nightclub and then they do it. But but that's the that's the dance because
00:47:22
you guys all did it and then you actually did the thing and then you I always say like if if the village people
00:47:28
actually do get me if I get my day in court and I am being sued by the village people I'm going to go not guilty
00:47:37
act it out. Is there any character left? I mean they've got the construction worker the Indian. I mean maybe you come
00:47:42
as other costume. I don't know. just come as crocodile dundee just off the side, you know. What is your son's name
00:47:49
that loves that movie? Hank. Hank. Hey, Hank. This is G. I got a different haircut, but thanks for watching. Uh
00:47:57
when when when we end the podcast, can he come up and say hello very quickly? He's downstairs playing video games.
00:48:03
Normally, Jim, that would be fine. Camera shy, just bring him up. We have to whisk Dana off. Will he come on or
00:48:09
you want to do it with off camera? He's also a big Joe Dirt fan. So, okay. Bring him on. Bring him on. Bring one.
00:48:16
Let's compare box office. Joe Dirt was my first Australian trip. I went to Sydney. Oh, what? You filmed it in
00:48:22
Australia? No, we went had a premiere there. It was the same. It was a night after the premiere of Mulan Rouge and uh
00:48:30
I went down there and I went to a concert and they sat me next to Baz Lurman. All this great Australian stuff.
00:48:38
He uh he he look he still flies the flag. I always argue that things like I guess Mulan Rouge is an Australian film,
00:48:45
Australian actress, Australian director filmed in Australia. Kylie Manog plays the Tinkerbell thing. It's an Australian
00:48:52
movie as soon as Kylie's involved. Yeah, Kylie, you know, right? Kylie's our
00:48:57
Kylie. You can't speak ill of Kylie. No, no, I think she's great. Uh I like I
00:49:03
have great Australians are great. I do like it. Go ahead, Dane. And then I have one last story. I just It's just weird
00:49:08
sometimes. I was uh hosting Vegas showcase for movies and Baz Lurman was
00:49:14
there, Mullen Rouge and Nicole Kidman. So I was hanging out with them. It's just kind of weird and you brought it up and that's that's my whole story.
00:49:20
There's no joke, nothing other than I met them at the promotion of the thing. Well, I think
00:49:27
[ __ ] nicotine [ __ ] two nicotines [ __ ] Who is stronger? Me
00:49:34
or you? Sorry [ __ ] Sorry. Go ahead. That was just for me. I'm a little
00:49:39
punchy right now. Like back in the pocket. Jim, one last question. Then we're gonna ask everyone again so you
00:49:45
can have one more shot. Uh, this is a story from a viewer that said, "If this
00:49:51
is not a funny story, we'll just take it out." I don't know if this is a funny story from you that your father sat you
00:49:56
down, you and your wife, to tell you something. I I can't I I can tell you that off the air, but I can't tell it
00:50:03
off the air. Look, my dad doesn't um uh Yeah, I can
00:50:11
tell you off the air. I I can't tell it on the air. Sorry. Well, we have an after hours because my dad doesn't know
00:50:16
how to get on to YouTube or anything like that, but enough. It will get back to him on this podcast for sure. I
00:50:21
didn't know what level of it was, but I I apolog It's 100% true. It's 100% true
00:50:27
that story. It's uh I don't know the story. That's why I'm waiting to hear. Well, you're going to Yeah, that just
00:50:32
tease. We don't need the story, but just the tease is going to trend. Yeah, we like the
00:50:38
Hey, man. It's all about click. So, let me ask you Hank line to the story. I I'll tell you
00:50:44
this. Okay, we can cut it out if you want. I can tell it to you right now. If you want to actually hear it. No, I don't want I'm scared. I don't want it
00:50:50
to accidentally. No, we don't want to embarrass you. I just need to know how this works. Alex Murray tell you about
00:50:56
this story cuz he knows Oh, okay. Cuz me me and David have the same manager. So,
00:51:02
uh, that's what's happened there. Well, I'll tell you this about the Carvey family. My my childhood family with five
00:51:08
kids and Bud Carvey and all that stuff that went on. Yeah. Throw away the key
00:51:13
cuz no one would believe it. There's some things we leave. Some
00:51:18
things better not share. Just know that it's a little whack. Look, look. He He's He's 84 this year. If I back on the
00:51:26
podcast in a couple of years, I might be able to tell you. Okay. Yeah, fair enough. Well, give it give it some time.
00:51:33
2027. We're going to hold you to that. All right. Thanks, Jim. We'll talk. Really nice hanging out with you, man.
00:51:40
Thanks for having us, lads. I really appreciate it. Enjoyed it. So, it was kind of nice. We uh we just
00:51:46
um found Jim. Yeah. Jim Jeff, who's been around for a while, he's really uh has I
00:51:55
I found him uh very aphable, funny, uh likable, interesting. Yeah, I like
00:52:01
you know, I've met him before. I was giving him uh uh a [ __ ] about Brad Pitt
00:52:07
because Brad, you know, Brad's a great guy. He's he knows Jim. I think he went on his show in the old days. Jim and I
00:52:12
used to work on the same lot, I think, when I was doing uh maybe Lights Out or
00:52:17
something. He was around. So, uh, super cool dude and big and he travels he goes
00:52:23
all over the world. Uh, that sort of surprised me the places he goes and how much
00:52:30
how much he can he can fill them up over there because who knows? You just never know who knows you out there in the
00:52:35
world. It is kind of a thing. Yeah. The international comedian who just can go
00:52:42
all over. I haven't done that, you know. I mean, you you did Australia. Yeah.
00:52:47
Maybe do stand up though. I just went there to do premieres. I didn't even Okay. Yeah.
00:52:52
I wouldn't know. I just It's scary to go over there because I would love to go, but they said if you go the first time,
00:52:58
don't you just go a small theater just try to fill it up just to see if it works and then you go back now people
00:53:05
know you do it, etc. Well, I like the idea when you said that you can just you can just drive around the UK. Yeah. Way
00:53:13
better. If you don't like getting in an airplane, you drive around the UK. So that seemed kind of cool. I mean, in
00:53:19
Scotland, I have relatives there, distant. I have McDonald on one side. Mhm. But it seems kind of cool. Maybe we
00:53:26
should do a little tour there. I also like that he has disabled people come back for a meet and greet. That was kind of a cool thing I haven't heard before.
00:53:32
It's a good idea, you know, because his his standup, at least in the old days, I was going to ask about his new stand up,
00:53:37
but it was it was kind of rough and tumble. And then juxtaposing that that he helps this disabled person and then
00:53:45
he now he has a following backstage and does meet and greets. I mean that was fascinating because it it makes him well
00:53:52
it just makes him extremely likable of course and human that that is his meet and greet and the two limb uh thing that
00:54:00
can't have you have to have more at least two limbs not working. Yeah. Yeah. I still like tall tenor as a name.
00:54:06
That's a good name. Maybe not for the next one, but it's a good special name because it's so odd that he goes they
00:54:12
don't have many tall tennis when you hear about an opera singing the tallest tenner you ever going to see in
00:54:19
your life. My Australian accent accent sucks right now I'll admit. But I
00:54:25
watched a show an Australian show once with my wife and then I had it so [ __ ] good now. A [ __ ] if anyone
00:54:31
can get it, you can. I can't believe they can do American so well. Australian's a very tough one too to do,
00:54:37
right? We mentioned Margot Robbie in that conversation, too. And she also does a perfect American accent. I mean,
00:54:44
there's Yeah. You know, when they came over here, cuz I went to a speech coach for some movie to do a New Hampshire
00:54:51
accent. And she was like, I said, "When they come over, what do you do?" She was said, "Well, we say, "Are you from
00:54:57
Brooklyn? Are you from uh Florida? Are you from Arizona? Are you from North
00:55:02
Dakota?" Like there's tiny differences all over. So it's not just American accent. They can have one bland one, but
00:55:08
is it southern? What kind of southern? So there's so many ways to go with that. Yeah. It's it's like we'd be Americans
00:55:15
are enamored by certain accents. And of course, if you meet an Irish man, how are you going? You're sort of like whoa
00:55:21
from those Irish movies. But I have Irish relatives who ended up in the Bronx in New York and they'd seen all
00:55:28
the Scorsesei Dairo films. And the first guy that talked like, "What are you what are you two stool doing today? What are
00:55:33
you doing over here?" They were like almost weeping with joy that they're talking to somebody who talk like that
00:55:40
to them. It was like amazing. If I if I had someone with a Liverpool accent, I'd be like, "Oh, wow." But they just love
00:55:46
that the exportation of uh the East Coast accent, all those mafia films.
00:55:52
It's huge. We almost got that story out of them at the end, too. But uh
00:55:58
I have a feeling it was a little rougher on the edges. Yeah. I think the thing about Jim, he came to play. He was very
00:56:05
funny. Had a lot of energy. And uh at the end he goes, "Was it all right that I talk too much?" I thought that was
00:56:10
kind of human because I know I said we love comedian coming on and here's a great story. You know, the Russell Crow
00:56:18
restaurant story and stuff. So yeah, very much enjoyable. Well, thanks for listening. As you know, uh, Monday we
00:56:24
have another show and if you have any questions for us, we could try. Yeah, we
00:56:30
want to hear from you. Fly on the wall at odyssey.com. So, odyssey.com. What
00:56:36
are some subjects they can ask about, which is pretty much anything? Yeah, I mean, I would think um, how are you
00:56:42
feeling about interacting with AI? Do you feel it's a good thing or it's going to take over? Are you frightened of it?
00:56:47
Do you own Bitcoin? Um, these are questions they can ask us, right? And
00:56:53
then we we answer them. You ask, we're experts. We're experts in every field.
00:56:59
Maybe I got this wrong. I just want to know. No, no, no. You got it right. They can ask anything they want. We just say, well, if you're thinking about marrying
00:57:05
someone, man or woman, and you want to tell us the situation, if you have doubts, we will we will tell you whether
00:57:12
to marry or not. We we will maybe accidentally change your life with these
00:57:17
questions or not. I'm not saying I have no ego about it, but feel free to ask us anything that's going on in your life.
00:57:25
Uh or I guess do we want to invite politics? Maybe maybe anything,
00:57:31
religion, politics, we have foolproof answers for everything. Nothing's off limits. And we do have the answer.
00:57:38
David's nickname in real life, I'm just putting that out there, is the Oracle. when you need a advice or a question
00:57:44
about finance or or life issues or anxiety and depression, how to defeat
00:57:50
it, anything, the Oracle. Yeah. Aka David Spade.
00:57:59
Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us a
00:58:06
review, fivestar rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this
00:58:11
episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive
00:58:18
produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah
00:58:25
Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet
00:58:32
Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogerty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa
00:58:41
Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gainner, Shan Cherry, Kurt
00:58:47
Courtourtney, and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email
00:58:53
us at fly onthewala.com. That's audacy.com.
