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we've got Taylor Tomlinson who's a a comic that's out there that I see a lot at The Comedy Store I think she's
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had two specials she's you know they're bubbling under doing well some know her
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really well some not as much was not on SNL but we like to incorporate some upcoming stars in The Comedy world and
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we talk about SNL we talk about in a lot of stand-up stuff touring and about
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interestingly enough a specific subject when you're on Tick Tock or or Instagram
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is a stand-up now they like to put their Clips up from their special and stuff but you don't
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want to burn material so if you're out filming your act you see a lot of these Comics doing it they do a lot of crowd
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work because the reason is Dana they don't want to burn their ass yeah and so
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they say I like to repeat my act and I like when the audience either looks bored or Mouse the punch lines I just
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keep it the same that's me but you know I like to start a joke and people go not this [ __ ] thing again that's from
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your first special in 1980 and I'm like yeah and it's [ __ ] good and you know what
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Journey does Don't Stop Believing last night we worked at the comedy store I went on
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did okay anyway David went on lunch and I was behind the curtain the whole time he's going I go no not that bit oh he's
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always rushing it oh God that one's still brushed the cobwebs off first holy
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[ __ ] he's doing Tom Petty ladies and gentlemen remember the space shuttle
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when it blew up that was horrible but one thing was funny about it and they're like men Menendez brothers I mean come on
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killing the parents what Kurt Cobain had blue eyes one blue this way one blue that way I am not a crook
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crook I usually lead with Nixon I'll be honest so she talked about that up today
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I didn't tell you this thing about her she's extremely bright she's very thoughtful
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um she's she's a technician a scientist and an artist all in one her stand-up is just
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sweet first class stand up it's like fun to listen to something that's that
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thought out our stand-up is more ad hoc I think you're a great stand-up but you
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cannot bundle me into that I don't mind but she was very fun to talk to she's very quick on her feet quick on her feet
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and has a lot of self-reflection I.E therapy and thinking about her place in the world and uh I think that's a part
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of her appeal being funny and also very real in that way and she goes places you don't expect Alhambra
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anyway um Alhambra she doesn't need a Dodge Dart this is the king a used car I don't
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know if you've been down to Cerritos Auto Square lately but Dana we should get him as a sponsor because I like to use them I'll talk to you later about
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that used car lot I think we should go in on oh dnds
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it's not bad well you can't afford it you can't afford a convertible it's a jalopy
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um with a canvas top anyway here she is Taylor Tomlinson [Music]
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foreign [Music]
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like in front of the step and repeat like I feel like I just came for a photo we just really need a photo but then
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we'll do this too but um it's really just about the phone because the photo will Trend and the interview is just a
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throwaway look how prepared he is [ __ ] you have like a couch up on some state
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is this is this like a screening room yeah okay that makes more sense all right I was like this is a strange setup
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there you go podcast Studio this is the house that uh the only one that had an interrogation room
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David did very well and invested very well so David bought a really big house
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David had a movie theater we did a podcast yeah I like that you demoted your movie theater to a podcast Studio
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well I realized I wasn't watching enough movies in it and my mom would just come in here and put on Fox news on the whole
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screen and just blow it up Carlson coming at you
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always laugh hi I'm Tucker Carlson anyway Taylor Tomlinson Tomlinson what
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is that Scottish Irish I think I don't know no idea I have no idea next question
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I'm 23 and Me Myself and grade school nickname Taylor Tommy kind of cool no I
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uh when I was coming up in San Diego people would call me like t-tom and like Double T and things like that yeah
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that's all I got it all right let's go to our next question now that was
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supposed to be most of them that was most of the I have three or I have one question
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people always ask me if I have an accent what do I sound like I always look at your clips and you sound like
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I don't probably Ukraine I mean no Maybe I'm Wrong um I was thinking about Romania but
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that's close it's in the general Croatian box I swear I watched it can I take you an accent really yeah I thought
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you had an accident no I grew up in California but people always guess like Chicago or something they just like Midwest I think I just have a round I do
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I do braces I do voices by trade just speak say anything Peter Piper picked back uh good
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to be here Chicago you have a very neutral well you're both
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from California right see California is to you know Northern
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California you were San Diego well I grew up in Modesto Escalon until I was like nine and then I was in one is like
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Riverside County I just played the Fresno State Fair and I asked who are the you know the bottom feeders in the
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valley Modesto is always a popular punching oh yeah you do that when you go to cities like what's the city they hate
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you just work it usually it's Fresno though
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I we moved uh like as the Lacey Peterson uh posters were going up you moved
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toward them from Modesto we left Modesto when they were like still looking for her whoa were you part of the hunt or
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you know I was eight so they were like we think we have my mom's like maybe just two hours a day for you to look for
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the killer Scott was like a killer if you get all your homework done you can look for the killer yeah I when I did
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Dallas uh they go uh this is my big opener I go a lot of pretty girls here from Big D and a couple of rough ones
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from Mesquite Mesquite is good yeah that's a funny one yeah you can use it even outside of uh Bakersfield would be
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a punching bag oh Bakersfield yeah from Bakersfield yeah I played Bakersfield oh
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I don't remember when it was the last tour and they were real Rowdy and I was like Bakersfield you're being exactly
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what everyone thinks you are right now Bakersfield and they loved that they were like we know yeah
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so you just go to crowd work in that case if they're just talking and drunk I mean what do you do I mean they just
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like were yelling out I think they were like too enthusiastic which in a theater is hard because it's like so you guys
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know it's like very it gets away from you so fast and you can't like my eye contact with everybody yeah or someone
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will yell from like the balcony and you're like all right what and then they go silent yeah they would they want attention and it I get scared the first
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I was doing theaters this year and I get scared because I don't make really any eye contact because once you do you sort
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of forget your act you're like I get lost in what they're thinking or they're texting or something oh yeah and then when there's any pauses people yell it
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seems like that oh really yeah there's like they yeah they just be very famous they want attention I get stuff from 40
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years ago that's the problem church lady [Music] just in the middle of whatever oh in the
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middle characters they yell out they want to say God after you've done church lady then they yell later and you go
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didn't we just I just did that Garf said I do it it was spaced out so Garth says
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isn't that special you know I get mixed up I'm not in shape how many dates of your do you do because you seem 500
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really poised up there I mean oh gosh I don't know I mean I'd have to go and you have when you tour do you have a name
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for uh yeah where is the current I know I love the name of that goddamn name
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these guys are openers there it's a world tour I call it the world tour World Tour half her phone calls are her
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manager's going what's the name of your special I know they may be name my summer tour
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which was just me doing clubs working out to do and they were like what's the what's the summer tour and I'm like it's
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the it's me in clubs it's not a tour time and they were like what about like new ideas and I was like fine but then
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people are like is it the same show is the club show in September is if I go to a theater show in October and you're
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like no my manager just made me name it a different thing yeah the uh the new theater tour is called The Habit all
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tour I have it all to her the the have it all coconut I have an altar that'd be
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the war there's one more letter and I'm the worst my last tour was called David Spade drops by I packed them
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he's already sold out he goes come by and do three three three
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not two three get the light at one and a half what did you what's yours what's yours name catch me inside
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the brother no one can say they're touring in with a straight face it's funny because it's so dumb because it's
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catch me outside from nine years ago it wasn't Steve Martin and Martin Short is
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in it see us now because you won't later or something we're too old for this yeah our manager handles Marty Martin to you
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guys and uh we love Martin and uh he they said he's he goes it's a tour
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doesn't it doesn't have one or maybe it was a Broadway show if I'd saved I
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wouldn't be here oh that's funny they have the best titles I would go just for the title with Steve and Marty yeah
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catch me inside I'll keep using that because then they go in January I have new tour dates and they go what's the name of that I go I don't know I just I
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don't wanna I'm not so familiar with it we say if I name it is it a new hour I think so can there be
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no jokes in the other one I'm not from that school I got nine years between specials where I had the same basic hour
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I just wrote a new hour and then milked it on a milking sound
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that's like a raspberry sound anyway do a guy going in opening his car door and
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adjusting his rearview mirror here's a bus get in um hang on you walk up I guess
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um [Music] he's grinding the gears well I have a
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character that I do in my stand-up called sound sound effective okay girl and it's like I went to open my car
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adjusted my rearview mirror that's most of my act so he's intentionally really
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bad I walked across the grass it was really wet slurp slurp slurpose Orange
00:11:12
County Taylor Tomlinson or Tommy T let's ask her if she's ever seen Sony live
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because I've seen the clips on YouTube and Tick Tock by the way this is our youngest person we've ever talked yeah
00:11:24
I'm very confused I have a question uh how how did I get booked on this why am I here our average guest is 78 years
00:11:30
yeah who do I think for getting on this podcast more than you need us this is big for us
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no this is fun because we do not need our podcast I've seen your special you're good we do also stand-ups that
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audition for or most stand-ups we like to find out if they were influenced At
00:11:49
All by SNL or what they liked about it because it usually ties into comedy in general so because you're you're let's
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say you born in what 90 2000 2000 oh 93.
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so you'd be let's call you eight or ten or twelve like early knots you'd be like
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a Will Ferrell Tina Fey that was your pocket and who was your crush Jimmy Fallon no oh did you love Jimmy Fallon I
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think Jimmy Fallon was probably I don't he was doing when we were watching it my
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friends so then the update was Amy yeah yeah I opened for them at uh wait a
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minute the Netflix is a joke festival and I [ __ ] up Subway I was so uncool I was really lame because because somebody
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got yeah somebody at the festival someone wasn't available I'm sure and they asked me like last minute to do it not them but just Netflix did and I
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didn't think I was gonna meet them and so I just like did my set and I was like great it's fine we're not gonna have to
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deal with it and I went backstage and they were in the hallway and they were like hey great job thanks for doing this and Amy's like we're so glad you wanted
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to do it and I was like what no that's stupid that's no and she's like congrats
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on everything hi I'm Amy and I was like yeah no I'm Taylor whatever like I was so so uncool and then my manager was
00:13:06
like let's take a photo and then I'm sure they were like we're gonna we're gonna go you want me to send you guys one and you're like no maybe it was a
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mistake is it hard because you're you've become like you've blown up so I didn't
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know were you going somewhere no I said like a joke a kind of a burn okay I was curious about when Taylor realized
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she was a star yeah what what day oh maybe you haven't yeah go back to your
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diary open it up uh I think it's coming I think 20 40. uh is what I'm hoping for
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no I was gonna say as far as the the SNL connection I feel so bad because I've
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literally never wanted to be on SNL at all like I and I've listened to a lot of this podcast and I love it because I I
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think SNL is so interesting and it's easy for me to enjoy uh anecdotes and
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and fun facts about it because I've never had any desire to auditions
00:14:00
we will be back next week time for one more question before we uh no that's
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interesting but you were nervous around Tina Fey and Amy Poehler yeah no I love SNL they're great yeah it's so nice to
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watch something that you don't think you can do it's less stress because if you're so horny for it Dana I have to
00:14:19
say Dave you've we always say Dana fit right in s now and you might have had
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aspirations for it it did not cross my mind sort of like Taylor but Taylor has done way more than I did
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at that point like I was at a point where I was so excited I got on Joan
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Rivers show and Arsenio was hosting for her and then I got on the one of the last Johnny Carson's and it hadn't done
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even Letterman yet but at that mid level where you're just starting to do stuff and get on TV and then it came up
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I would be stupid not to because I could I had nothing in my future and so I go oh I could write to them but to be on it
00:14:57
I'm not like a character guy I'm more I'm kind of more like you in a weird way like I just do my stand-up and I'm kind
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of uh not one note but I'm kind of the same person more of an update thing did you
00:15:09
ever Harbor designers Bill Murray but I would be like a Bill Murray not as good obviously but in the way that he's
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always kind of Bill Murray and everything and then Eddie Murphy all these other people Dana would just disappear and be
00:15:21
like these big characters I that was tougher so I see you I kind of see what you're saying there that's a long way of saying that right yeah I'm sorry it was
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the only thing that ever oh yeah you could do updates yeah but even I like touring I like being on the phone and I feel like you can't really do Tina and
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Amy see if they're aware of your stand-up they would really appreciate it especially Tina because he's such a
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writer writer you know she's like and your your writing is so skilled oh thank
00:15:45
you and comprehensive you're like John Mulaney or you know just that's very nice very comfortable watching you and
00:15:50
you just keep going in these different directions and your act outs are great I mean you're playing characters a lot like mullaney in your stand up you know
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taking on attitudes and things so I've called Lauren and he's on the phone right now
00:16:04
but you're like if you were a sprinter you got out of the blocks fast because you had a a really cool special at age
00:16:10
25. yeah so that's unusual in the modern era isn't it I I guess to have a really
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good one I
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how do you compare that your first one to your second one in terms of your Evolution as a stand-up
00:16:32
um as far as like my experience doing it or how did you feel more confident in the second one do you think your writing was better or they both melded together
00:16:38
is it Rubber Soul and a revolver for a beetle connection or are they sort of did you feel this we don't know who the
00:16:45
Beatles are me and Taylor we talk about things we'll talk about James you know Sean Connery and and Paul McCartney but we
00:16:54
love having young people here um so well so let's see let's say let's say this is true that you got a special
00:17:00
25 let's just say that well I don't know if it's for sure what's a quarter of a hundred years right now it sounds like
00:17:06
it could be true so you did that but you must have been doing it it says here since you were 16. so
00:17:19
but if you're 16 so you were probably pretty good by you must have been really
00:17:25
good by 25 and then do you approach Netflix or do you just it's kind of the thing where they hear about you
00:17:31
management that kind of so Netflix did obviously they did those half hours I think they did a couple I think they did
00:17:37
three seasons of the stand-ups but they also did um something called The Comedy lineup which is something they tried where they
00:17:44
did 15 minute sets where they're like it's a mini special it's a 50 minute set Jesus but I did that uh I think the year
00:17:51
before maybe like a year and a half or like two years before uh I filmed quarter life
00:17:57
and after that I was like well let's you know go back to them and say I'd like to
00:18:03
do a half hour on the stand-ups because that's the natural progression of things I assume and uh to my manager's credit
00:18:11
she was like well you're doing hours like we're going to send them an hour and see if we can't get you an hour and
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so they sent my hour that I was doing in the club I'm sorry do you shoot this is my last thing I'll ever ask in a whole
00:18:23
hour if you when you do that it would feel like to me like when I did the
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first Carson let's say my only one that was my best six seven minutes and then
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when you take that away it's really pulling the rug out because for you to take out your 15 that's probably your
00:18:39
favorite and then to go to an hour that's sort of crippling it was for me to to do one special and then I wasn't
00:18:47
from the squad in HBO one it took forever and it wasn't even talked about I was doing a TV show or some maybe
00:18:52
movies or something so it wasn't really totally the number one Focus but now it feels like
00:18:58
there is that pressure or at least it's in higher rotation yeah I mean like I said there was like
00:19:05
probably a year and a half in between Taping that 15 and taping well I came up
00:19:12
when I was coming up it was like Lucy Kate is a new hour every year and we were like [ __ ] okay and with social
00:19:18
media like I'm like writing jokes just for social media yeah that like aren't gonna go in the hour so that I can put
00:19:24
up clips that will people drive people to buy tickets too to see jokes and is that little video
00:19:31
clips that you put on of yourself not just writing reels
00:19:39
I don't do anything so you pick up a payphone and what do you do when I saw you Taylor video uh
00:19:46
being of another generation I thought this is really an uh Whitney Cummings
00:19:52
has done it it's sort of this extremely honest uh young person up there a woman in this
00:19:58
case and I just feel like you're really talking to young women in such an honest real way
00:20:04
and there's been others but you're you're in that world of really delving into
00:20:09
I don't even say it heavy but just you're just say anything I mean there's no barriers you're not like a G rated the things you stay away from for sure
00:20:16
or or because you seem pretty open yeah I mean I stay away from anything I don't know anything about like I I don't I'm
00:20:22
not really like an observational comic I don't really it's personal dude yeah I'm not like up there doing current event
00:20:28
stuff like I'm just talking about what I'm going through my personal stuff is the easiest stuff not to get stepped on
00:20:33
by another comedian like like when I all my jokes are about 7-Eleven so it's harder because everyone has one then I
00:20:40
say they're stolen I used to I used to do an hour on Costco and Walmart and there was so much overlap no one could
00:20:46
open for me by the way I'm already laughing it's funny it's funny because you go in and you
00:20:52
can't get everything's big you have to stay in Costco everything's big as mine I tell comics when I'm on the lineup I
00:20:58
go nothing about Costco I used to have common when an open form they go hey come here are you going for me nothing
00:21:03
about Jeopardy nothing but Wheel of Fortune nothing less 7-Eleven I'm like well of course it's my whole act yeah
00:21:08
but I'm like of course not
00:21:14
um so bipolar so you brought that up in your last special do you like talking about it which Taylor are we talking to
00:21:21
worry about it isn't it fun look that's what I was going through last year so that's what we uh they talked about yeah
00:21:28
it's just you know that's that's what I had going on and I think I I had a hard
00:21:33
time with it when I first figured it out and I was like I'm not gonna tell anybody and then like you know six weeks
00:21:39
later two months later you write a joke about it and I got 10 minutes and you're like all right I guess I gotta do this
00:21:44
get something out of this yeah for real it's true I know some of these things in my life my dad left me and it was
00:21:51
immediately in there because that was personal to me and and you're doing a funny spin which that kind of stuff
00:21:57
might have a tiny underlying sadness but you have to do this line there was some
00:22:03
joke I was doing recently and oh about being broke growing up and I thought it was so hysterical and then people were
00:22:09
like it's kind of sad and I go you weren't so I had to look back on it and tweak it I'm not broke down no who said
00:22:16
that huh what was the sad part terrified Taylor someone because everyone goes they had no money even if they were a
00:22:22
silver spoon we had he made like a million and what is that a million back then it was only 800 square feet seven
00:22:28
people one bathroom as a high school teacher do the math 1500 square feet
00:22:33
house seven people in there five kids two adults okay you win wow I'm a
00:22:40
champion but it was it wasn't that there was a there was a monster in the neighborhood and it was called my dad
00:22:49
that I can't land it's too heavy so no but that same thing so you're touching on that that's what we're talking about
00:22:54
like bipolar or something like this yeah Dana goes to therapy I've been to
00:23:00
therapy I got into therapy at 60. you got into therapy at what age you're smart oh gosh I mean well my mom died
00:23:06
when I was in elementary school so I went like I went to some like school counselor and then I went to like a
00:23:12
hospice support group which was actually crazy because they put it was a bunch of kids and they had us in like me and my
00:23:18
sister went and our mom was dead and then they had us with a bunch of kids whose parents weren't dead yet and I'm
00:23:24
like why are we all in this support group different group yeah I'm like is there not two rooms
00:23:31
see that that in the special about your mom dying and your age was and then you
00:23:36
sat on the stool and you kind of gave a precursor I'm gonna be doing six minutes around this subject and you landed it
00:23:43
it's very tricky how did you work that out to make that I mean some of those jokes I was working on really like when
00:23:51
I was like 21 and it just wasn't working because I wasn't I don't think I had like the maturity as a performer and I
00:23:57
don't think I was comfortable enough with myself as a comic or a person and I
00:24:03
hadn't done enough therapy uh around it and was like I'm fine but I wasn't right and I think the audience can smell it on
00:24:09
you if you're like really not okay and it is it is tricky to land and it took like it took years to get that material
00:24:17
to a place where it was accessible and there were plenty of jokes that didn't make it because I was like I think
00:24:23
that's hilarious but it's just and they feel better for you and they think it's too hard to laugh at yeah yeah they're too sad it's gonna be funnier than it is
00:24:31
you had good therapy like it really helped you yes it went and it didn't work you had bad
00:24:38
there I went twice and I go I feel like I did it do we do more than this I'm fixed no I got fixed quick and she
00:24:45
was like high five wow two sessions your therapist hates money they always go
00:24:51
it's uh you want to pay for a thousand sessions up front and I go how [ __ ] up
00:24:57
am I think she was like laser hair removal yeah it takes that man it takes that many times you think it's over
00:25:04
yeah uh so do you think that therapy allowed you your stand-up to evolve then they kind of work in concert together I
00:25:11
went I went back to there I've been in therapy now for I mean I started going
00:25:16
when I was 24 or 25 and so it's been like four four
00:25:21
or five years now that I've been going consistently would it be weird to ask for your therapist number because I'm
00:25:27
kind of looking for a new one would it be where to patch them in right now no but you know when she's under the table
00:25:32
when you say therapists like I think it's smart what you're doing because I could never have said that at that age
00:25:38
I guess especially being a guy like it's just weird for my age back then even now I wouldn't
00:25:43
probably tell people I would just do it but the you have your friends which you
00:25:49
think of your therapist but there's always something else going on with their what the advice they're giving you so
00:25:55
right you just need a clear shot of someone you don't know at all doesn't care about anything in your life and
00:26:01
just will straight back and forth as straight as you can get right I'm sure if you're DiCaprio in there and it
00:26:07
there's always something weird like you you don't know if someone's star [ __ ] or someone just saying this whatever but
00:26:13
if you can just get someone that you feel comfortable just even if you talk for an hour and they don't say anything there's something good about that oh
00:26:20
yeah I feel like most of what me and my therapists do is she just asks me questions where I say something and she
00:26:27
goes why do you think that is or okay do you hear that or I've I I asked her once
00:26:34
I was like having a hard session I go I mean what am I doing and she goes what are you doing
00:26:40
I love that when I do it they go like this sad story and they go do you think there's a bit there and I go thanks
00:26:48
therapist you're helping me that's actually great yeah I wish my therapist would do oh I've gotten a lot of bits out of there my therapist said I was a
00:26:54
people pleaser and I said that's a great observation these are the jokes there's so many therapy jobs I know you can't
00:27:00
help but think of it Taylor laughed at my therapy Joe it was great um I love therapy jobs so my therapist just came to a show actually she was like would
00:27:07
you mind if I came to a show it's fine if not I was like I mean do you feel like it would help this did you pass out cards with your name on it I know she
00:27:14
was like just let me know if you want me to go or not she goes because if if you do want me to go I have to like think up
00:27:20
a reason because like both my therapists and my psychiatrists were like we watch your specials because our family turned it on
00:27:27
but we couldn't say we couldn't say anything we couldn't be like that's my client like they can't like tell their
00:27:32
husband I'm gonna go see my clients comedy show so they might be like I don't know we're going to Home Goods I
00:27:38
don't know if you mentioned therapy they did they stand up and wave and you go
00:27:44
but was that did you get into stuff like okay the the first thing I was told was
00:27:49
that we have these feelings and we suppress them and they're like as if you have a sore knee it's like they're
00:27:55
talking to you and that they the therapist just questions your thinking a lot because if it's negative redundant
00:28:01
thinking I'm a piece of [ __ ] I hate myself we're all gonna die then she'll challenge that yeah oh yeah so why do
00:28:08
you think you're a piece of [ __ ] yeah I mean well because of these reasons but are those reasons true and you go well I
00:28:14
guess not if you need me to prove it to you I didn't know it's just gonna be a whole thing okay well I just wonder why
00:28:20
you want to believe something that isn't true like it's like how I talk to boyfriends I'm like why do you think that was a good idea okay why do you
00:28:28
need to like that girls yeah I don't really like them but you put a like button I watched I watched Goodwill
00:28:35
Hunting right before I started my first therapy session and I was hoping for it's not your fault it's not your fault
00:28:41
but I never got it you just walked in you're like would you would you say it's whose fault would you say it isn't it
00:28:48
isn't it and then it was like you're an empath a narcissist feed on empathetic people
00:28:55
that yeah you're a narcissist child yeah
00:29:00
[Music] I was like ask ask your ask your
00:29:05
brothers what your your biggest flaw is and they all wrote back like very funny nice things and I went okay I'm gonna
00:29:12
ask my siblings and I asked my siblings and my brother immediately responds with I think you expect everyone to hurt you
00:29:18
so you push them away before they can and I was like oh my God you guys how old is this kid no real it's pretty
00:29:24
sophisticated I know he's look he's been to therapy too he's you know gen Z man
00:29:30
everyone to hurt you so you create a situation where they hurt you you push you push people away before they can
00:29:36
hurt you because you expect everyone to hurt you I thank God some of that yeah sure sure some of that but I've been
00:29:41
married for years yeah what's that like what's it like being yeah what's successfully
00:29:46
married really cool is it really cool well we've both been married to seven different people in the same marriage a
00:29:53
long marriage is like like it's not Planet going behind the sun is there's these sort of more chilly ears and then
00:29:59
you come back to the center like oh this is great so yeah incredible it's actually nice yeah and you have to have
00:30:06
we never were no one ever called an attorney or anything we're we just you know yeah uh we realized only recently
00:30:14
we took a personality test across from each other at the table and it was all uh helpers oh so we help our families
00:30:22
and you're both helpers helpers oh that's so nice so that's you just have to be two good people in a marriage
00:30:29
if you have a narcissist and an empath then the narcissist can't help it they're going to feed on the empathetic
00:30:35
person and sort of destroy them and make it all about them that's not good yeah two helpers are more right after you
00:30:41
like David and our two helpers so I say David I'll do the research he goes no I'll do the research right right after
00:30:46
you but anyway that's Dana has a great marriage and it's a good ad to see someone because I grew up without seeing
00:30:53
great marriages and uh you know I have not been married and uh it's kind of a secret my parents had a sucky marriage I
00:30:59
didn't emulate that that's crazy that you actually because I'm scared to get I
00:31:04
would be scared to get in a situation it was bad and I saw some bad ones and I still do and I go and there's some good ones like you and there's a couple other
00:31:11
most most you struggle I mean you don't just post kids and what are we doing now with the sales pitch of like it's work
00:31:17
I'm like right I already work I'd want extra work but you know that's right dating is work dating it turning dating
00:31:24
is a drag too that's a thing I was not a good dater yeah I'd rather work than just do an
00:31:30
endless string of interviews yeah like no callbacks I mean I well the thing is
00:31:38
like I don't [ __ ] I can't remember if I was gonna ask it doesn't matter I don't date
00:31:43
when I'm around I'm thinking about comedians in general there's not as many female comedians so
00:31:49
I don't I don't think I've did Heather I did it comedians but it is it's a world that
00:31:57
you're around Heather knows dance I don't know it's just a great executive producer of our podcast I don't even
00:32:03
know Heather if I hope you haven't but I'm saying oh yeah five years I don't know but I'm just
00:32:11
saying that it's a you know when you're a busboy or a waiter you date the bartenders when you're at work in your
00:32:17
work so you're around just dudes mostly all the time yeah and at night and drinking and clubs and weird situations
00:32:26
I'm very curious about what you talk about it you're saying it but like in in real life what because people ask me
00:32:33
like what do women really find attractive oh I mean I think that just depends on
00:32:39
who it is I don't know if you're like a busy man a working man or do you like a man who hangs out a lot oh um hangs out
00:32:46
a lot like unemployed well you're familiar with Jordan Peterson uh yes so
00:32:51
I know a lot of young men and he's a disciple and it's sort of about the
00:32:57
modern young man you know not being emasculated or you know but you being a
00:33:03
superstar comedian is it intimidating for a lot of men maybe you want to meet
00:33:08
a man who has enough are you strong enough to be my man that's what I say on the first date and
00:33:13
they go is that Sheryl Crow and I go um could you is that one of your bits don't worry about it it is hard to uh
00:33:21
keep it going when you only have certain windows and you're like oh I have to fit in those two days you're home and you're
00:33:28
like I guess I mean that's just the way it is but and if you can't you can't but if they're busy which is an attractive
00:33:34
quality if someone else has something going on to me it is and then if it's harder to sync up I used to date someone
00:33:41
in my early 20s uh who's also doing comedy and we used to send avails emails we would we would subject line of ales
00:33:48
yeah it's not great to the people what you say to this state oh yeah that's availability I appreciate this Taylor to
00:33:55
get response but men like to be admired by women I know I should be asking what
00:34:02
men are attracted to and women like to love a man that they admire
00:34:07
um are you asking me if I agree with that yeah are you just telling me how it is open thoughts it's just a Hallmark
00:34:14
card thing I I heard somewhere there's always a little bit admired and women like to be be loved by a man they admire
00:34:22
you know I think everybody's different I think there's some people who really need to be able to be I think it's is it
00:34:29
Mike vecchione that has a joke about there can only be like one exciting person in a relationship or I'm gonna
00:34:36
I'm gonna butcher oh what is it yeah is it is that Mike vacancy the there can
00:34:41
only be one head shot in a relationship I know his joke is the there's what so one person that's crazy and one person
00:34:46
that's boring and I I do think that you see that down yeah I do think you see that in a lot of
00:34:53
uh Like Show Business relationships is obviously one person needs to be like
00:34:59
the kind of car key yeah yeah yeah and uh I don't know I think
00:35:08
I think if the other person's okay with that I think some people are really happy to be the the supportive one like
00:35:14
some people don't want to be on camera for lack of a better phrase uh
00:35:20
but then I think there's other people who like both people want that in different ways so I don't know I mean honestly I I
00:35:29
should be asking you like you're the only one I used to say successfully married here
00:35:36
you're like what do men and women want we're like why don't you [ __ ] [ __ ] lust fan like I married a civilian you
00:35:43
married a fan I married a civilian okay was it a fan a fan but she's very happy independent
00:35:51
go over my in the clubs you're in the club I was selling out 70 cedars in San
00:35:57
Fran she made more money than I did at that that's amazing it is it's weird um that's great though because don't you
00:36:04
feel like if you had tried to meet somebody post Fame that would have gotten really
00:36:09
weird and hard I think that would be more difficult in a way who was it was
00:36:14
it Matthew Perry he's got his book out saying he only will date wealthy women now is what he says because they were
00:36:19
always at the end of the day after a few months it's like could assistant get a nickel could I get it down
00:36:25
I've never dated a girl that didn't ultimately ask me for money really yeah
00:36:31
as we said I mean that was as far as that oh wow and then one time we were on an elevator and he goes I'm the only TV
00:36:38
star that has to drive a cab at night because because he was spending his money so oh how do you feel about it I
00:36:46
mean dating and being very famous I I I like or do you like I tell them I go I'm
00:36:52
the star you're the crew you're not even an audience you're just I make them wear a shirt that says crew
00:36:58
member you know just like you work like you like to stay behind the scenes but you're important right and they like that they like that description yeah uh
00:37:05
like here's a boom mic but I do like I don't like uh no person I I want funny so it's it's
00:37:12
more demanding I like when when women are funny in their own way even if it's just they don't need to be Robin Williams but you know just like a
00:37:19
lightness or fun to them uh obviously there is to be attracted
00:37:24
just initially and then that kind of thing hangs in there for me so
00:37:30
it's a little demanding because not everyone is super hot and super funny
00:37:38
no I know what I'm saying just amusing just like
00:37:44
the funniest comedy great sense of humor put it that way yeah but when when women say okay you know
00:37:50
you're gross but you can date girls because you have a sense of humor like people like that uh but sense of humor
00:37:57
is so vague it's like music I like a girl that likes music it's like comedy is do you like Carrot Top do you like uh
00:38:04
this kind of act you like loud do you like dry do you what TV shows you like like if if that doesn't sync up then
00:38:11
that's not a sense of humor that would sync up yeah you know you have to find someone that's similar or that thinks
00:38:16
I'm funny my way because that's how I'm sort of all the time at least in some version and then it's whatever it's more of a
00:38:23
charm with girls like it doesn't have to be like jokes or anything they like that day like it's talking to a young woman
00:38:30
and his game or it's not even a game it's your pattern your patter is very
00:38:36
good powder sounds better comedians generally know how to talk about the elephant in the room and you know like
00:38:41
Woody Allen was kissing Diane Keaton and Annie Hawk and kiss now because we're going to do it later you know comedians know how to do that you know because no
00:38:49
you're wonderful you're perfectly and beautiful intelligent human
00:38:55
thank you Taylor actually looks very young and seems older than you are thank you I get
00:39:03
that a lot um people I've always hated that I have like a baby face and you know then you
00:39:08
get to La and everyone's like you'll love it someday everyone will like let me tell you a thing is your face no I
00:39:15
had a huge fat baby face I got carted I got carded at 53 by a sober American
00:39:21
person really but then the fat starts to disappear the neck says [ __ ] you and then you're now I'm okay
00:39:29
I'm a cowboy I got some scrapbooking hey man I have a few wrinkles I'm a cowboy now yeah he's a pirate no mine
00:39:38
up today because it's got hairspray but when I went to Chili's last week yeah your hair does say today I filmed
00:39:45
something yesterday's going on yeah that's called should have stopped at four drinks there I went to Chili's
00:39:50
Sunset last night it's a True Story Taylor you're gonna love this okay just take a break for about just take a break
00:39:56
we will talk about see you again in five seconds just hang on uh I was at Chili's
00:40:01
which I tried to go to when I'm on the road it's I love it so we go there and the wages is very nice and then she says
00:40:09
she does everything from do you want me to stop people from coming over do you want me to the I don't mean Chili's I'm asking for trouble so it's fine I like
00:40:15
to see everybody it's fine but we are ordering and then when in the middle of dinner after we've talked about that's the now we've talked about everything
00:40:21
she comes back and she goes I go can I get a just a Belvedere with my diet coke and she goes
00:40:28
I have to card you and I know who you are I have to card me oh yeah and I kind of laughed and she stood there and I go
00:40:34
oh okay and I give him ID and she looks that okay like it was a little relief
00:40:39
okay you're a hundred like I mean what why are you carding me when did I get on
00:40:45
SNL when I was one what is she worried impression of a person opening candy I know during my way too long story
00:40:53
and candy so I can watch the movie already go on for like 20 minutes
00:40:59
you can have it Taylor Taylor to do 20 minutes on that candy openers
00:41:05
could you just open and eat the [ __ ] candy I mean My Generation mostly streams but ah Dana My Generation so so
00:41:14
Taylor oh [ __ ] I got chocolate on the microphone you got chocolate on my podcast is going downhill now no it's it
00:41:22
well this is my favorite so far because you're so relaxed and Charming I've listened to a lot of episodes so I feel
00:41:27
very prepared I think I love you yeah I did honestly it didn't when I got asked to do this I was like oh my god I didn't
00:41:33
even know they had a podcast because there are so many podcasts now yeah sure and you guys are doing it right you got famous and then started one that's the
00:41:38
only way to do it now and uh I was like oh I gotta listen to it because I always listen to shows before I do them and
00:41:44
I've like I mean I've just been burning through them the last year that's good just skip there's there's some shows
00:41:51
where they guess we'll talk there's some shows were just Dana and I talk some I
00:41:56
just talked there's a lot of David just talks sometimes Heather it's hard to do actually it's hard to do where you don't
00:42:01
talk over each other because
00:42:06
well I've talked to other people about this podcast and certainly listen to it and everybody's like I just love that they're friends like I think that's
00:42:13
mostly what people see like okay so we're gonna keep this up for longer oh are you guys trying to play it is this
00:42:20
even gonna air Dane is a little quieter this is a test show Dana's a little quieter and so when I obviously know I'm
00:42:27
on SNL I knew him a little bit before SNL barely just he was like oh my God I met him when he was a child and he would
00:42:33
let me open for him and then he helped on SNL and then I got there and then after we all left we were doing
00:42:39
different things but when he moved back down here I would ask if you want to go to dinner
00:42:45
it's just fun to talk to and he's one of my favorites and then we would have some laughs at dinner and so I have to get
00:42:51
him out of the house though because if I'm definitely he stays in you know I'm an incredible homebody I got my keyboard
00:42:59
I got movies I can watch I can paint yeah I'm more thirsty and embarrassing and I go out and I'd walk down a man
00:43:06
about town there's nothing wrong with it now the last time I saw you was on Hollywood Boulevard going who wants a
00:43:12
picture well that's because on Thursdays and Fridays I stand by my star and I
00:43:17
take photos but I actually I think last time I saw you this sounds stupid but I
00:43:22
think I was leaving The Improv and you were coming in I said I think you're up because I think you're after me and I
00:43:27
was like well I did a show with both of you it was yes me and YouTube oh is that the same night I think so because
00:43:35
no I followed Pete Holmes okay yeah I think it was a Sunday and I went in there
00:43:40
and I saw Pete and he was on a roll he was murdering and he's a big guy and he
00:43:46
was just killing yeah and I saw you go up and um
00:43:52
you had to deal with Pete to get the Rhythm back into your voice and we all do it yeah you have to follow her
00:43:59
I'm not sure but I was in the dark and you came by and I said hi oh really yeah oh I don't
00:44:07
how did your set go following someone who's crushing that takes a like a veteran's experience I thought it went
00:44:14
okay now I'm doubting it based on this conversation Pete and I talked about it oh my God was it bad no you crushed oh
00:44:20
my God okay but I was I was thinking am I following that I mean I don't do that much stand up really and I said from
00:44:27
what I remember you played chopping broccoli and everyone give you a standing ovation I went back to 19 uh 82. yeah I can go
00:44:35
back there he went back I'm I'm like Taylor I'm a museum piece at this point people like that coming like Danny goes
00:44:43
he's still alive do you guys remember E.T this song came out that year I wrote it in 82. it got on TV in 86.
00:44:51
let's get accurate right now have you seen stranger things it's very nostalgic
00:45:01
some shows are using Todd run hello it's me or you know well let me see um now
00:45:07
I'm going to ask you about he's running out of questions no I'm asking our specialist well there's one about a devout Christian family I don't know if
00:45:13
that's even a question about what what about one of them like family or a Protestant who wrote these notes this is
00:45:20
straight this is from somebody called Mr Wikipedia this is from Wikipedia this says you attended California State
00:45:27
University San Marcos which sounds like a fake call oh that's true um I went to I went to a few colleges
00:45:34
uh yeah you did not finish people like hey did you go to c s u n s m s f g a
00:45:39
it's pretty good it's CSU SM is that right that's that's enough letters yeah for a college didn't you
00:45:47
you got oh wait Last Comic Standing that's what I want to know are you Our Last Comic Standing and are you
00:45:52
sequestered like on uh The Bachelor or something do you have phones do you have anything are there one we had our phones
00:45:58
we were just sitting in like a makeshift Green Room well they said there's a
00:46:03
whole Green Room you guys know well there was no when I did it it was like the last season and there was no house
00:46:09
there were no Villages it was just stand up sets so we just we did just sit in a
00:46:14
green room and every once in a while they'd pull someone to go do an interview in a chair I guess but it was just doing sets and you just wouldn't we
00:46:21
stayed at the Hilton or something you write a set how did the show work like I think we all did like we were doing like three minute sets five minute sets and
00:46:28
so you'd do that and then the judges would give you feedback and then you'd find out if you went through the next round but I think if you went all the
00:46:34
way through to the end it was only like four or five sets I think it was only four sets because I did three and I was
00:46:41
in the top ten and then you get the winner gets a gift certificate at Chili's it was down to that at that
00:46:46
point I think they got I want to say Clayton English got like 200 000 oh nice I think I don't really remember and then
00:46:53
they went on tour the top five did oh my God Last Comic Standing yeah that's a good idea did you ever have a
00:46:59
moment because I know I did I don't know if David did like ah maybe I'm not gonna do this maybe maybe I cannot cut out I'm
00:47:05
not gonna I bombed too many times in a row no I've never bombed but I did feel like um no I bombed I was about to say
00:47:13
I forgot we just met you I'm so sorry with Dana that was horribly according to his story
00:47:19
he was a Dandy little opener if he'd get on a roll I'd go cut it get him off get him off get him off start playing the
00:47:25
music I used to travel one time we did like 13 we did a Northeast tour and yeah August uh-huh with 100 humidity 105
00:47:33
degrees he'd go out in shorts shorts flip-flops alert
00:47:40
I didn't think you could do stand up that low-key and kill he's kind of walking out they thought it was me in
00:47:46
those days that was the worst and then you'd drink what's up what's up
00:47:53
Cape Cod when I go up and do an hour and a half and just drench through my clothes like
00:47:59
literally sweat all the way through my clothes the crowd was kind of going whoa what's your weirdest gig ever I'll be
00:48:05
like oh my gosh I mean which question should I answer the one you asked what was the previous one no do the one before have you ever said maybe I'm not
00:48:11
gonna be cut out for this oh yeah and I think that was more of a lifestyle thing I was like I don't know if I'm cut out for I don't like the hang I have really
00:48:18
bad social anxiety I you know I like I don't drink like I wasn't I just wasn't
00:48:24
a good feature like I went on the road with Bert like a few times and it was like such a bad like I I learned so much
00:48:31
from him but he was like he even told me later he's like I didn't really like you offstage at first because you weren't fun nice which is completely Fair
00:48:39
um but yeah I I felt like maybe I wasn't um
00:48:45
weirdly enough like fun or brave enough to do it and like with the travel and when like mental health stuff was really
00:48:52
rough I was like I don't know that this is it's a big solo outing I don't think people take that into consideration well
00:48:58
before I before I had the first special I had just gotten to a place right before kovid that I could start bringing
00:49:05
somebody to open for me and that makes the biggest difference who do you use
00:49:10
man or woman or uh his name is Dustin Nickerson he's very funny he's like one of my best friends and we like came up
00:49:15
together so it's just like I'm lucky he even goes on the road and you you can plan your stand up around your mental
00:49:22
health in a sense like I'll do this little tour I'll take a break I mean you're in theaters now right pretty big
00:49:27
thing do you know what gets to where where it's your limit like let me go out for how many days and then I gotta get back kind of thing yeah I mean
00:49:35
this is at the risk of sounding like the worst uh when we first you know sort of
00:49:41
announced the tour I was like this is very doable and then we started adding shows and then that because that is a
00:49:47
trick yeah that becomes a little like more overwhelming so I think you
00:49:53
you plan out as much as you can but you know after the first theater tour I
00:49:59
think this one I had a much better idea of like okay I need one weekend off a month I need to space these out I think
00:50:06
now my agents are like okay you're you're you're more than a flash in the pan maybe so we can make sure
00:50:12
yeah like we can focus on your mental health and you forget the uh I didn't
00:50:18
interrupt you but you but I'm just doing this this year this first time done like theater tour and you forget a lot of
00:50:23
them because of canceled flights and [ __ ] you have to go the day before it's too risky so that's another day of
00:50:28
boredom and weirdness and then yeah if it goes well we want to add a late
00:50:33
show or we want and I said I can't do late shows I did Once on This tour and I go oh my God it's brutal like a theater
00:50:39
Late Show is not as casual as a club light show big deal and what's that do you do me I
00:50:46
don't do me in Greece but uh that would kill me Nikki Glazer goes out I go we have the same person and Alex keeps
00:50:54
saying I poison her because I go you do late shows like oh I can't handle I was just commending her yeah because she's
00:51:00
like a grinder you know she works and she can talk a lot and she does a podcast and that but she's like that's a
00:51:06
different type of persona she can do that and thrives on it yeah and then he goes did you tell her not to do late shows I go no no no no and he goes don't
00:51:13
poison her and don't go to Gaffigan he's got all these people and I go I'm just saying me but if they add a show it's
00:51:19
the next night so it's I'm trying to do that now it's okay but then it's a whole another day and it's a whole other Taylor
00:51:25
I have a question based on what okay give me a half hour to answer just tell my answer to our question
00:51:30
how how are you with saying no I've gotten better at it like the agent
00:51:36
really want I mean it's just a conflict yeah and are you good or that's a therapy thing of like my therapist said
00:51:43
to me remember it's good for them but is it good for you right which is really simple I feel like once I had like one I
00:51:49
had like one I had like a breakdown at one point and this was like years ago and uh I think I had to cancel like a
00:51:57
few Club weekends and that was maybe when they were like okay let's just let's chase this out yeah let's base this out and I think my agents are
00:52:03
pretty good about that now like we were adding shows we're going over to like the UK and
00:52:09
my agent was like okay do you wanna do you want to go over the week before because that's a lot then you're on the
00:52:15
road for like three weeks like you're just gone is that what you want to do and like I was like yeah I think so and
00:52:21
he was like okay because I'm just reminding you how burnt out you were yeah this time last year during April and like maybe just think about it and
00:52:27
well that's good like I think also just like I have a place in New York and I
00:52:32
have a place in La and that's made it easier too yeah it's way better isn't it fascinating that Netflix you know
00:52:38
stand-up Stars just obviously go to Europe that just wasn't around in the 80s I mean to have some value overseas
00:52:44
was very rarely the case for Dane and I growing up I've never even done it over there because I don't know if my jokes
00:52:50
about Ralph's will work so you gotta call it blippity boobas that's our
00:52:56
routes I said Bank of America in Canada last weekend I was in Toronto and somebody dm'd me and they were like we
00:53:02
love you but Bank of America and I was like you know it's a bang what is it you know where I'm from
00:53:16
yeah uh but I I haven't done overseas I would like to in um Australia but it is
00:53:24
is at one time Chris Rock told me you got two shows today on TV both your sitcoms are on on on the three channels
00:53:31
so he says get over here you're famous come I go but his his act is like
00:53:37
politics very you know wide rank you can understand it anywhere marriage relationships race those things you can
00:53:45
talk about almost anywhere mine I I would have to go through my act and go that's why the story is like you were
00:53:51
saying about yourself are good they travel oh yeah and no one's doing them because it's just your experiences so I
00:53:56
tell stories a lot about my life and my angle on a story hopefully is my
00:54:03
own you know it's like my fingerprint so those are starting to happen more because that's what works and I don't
00:54:10
I'd be scared of the pressure of I think what this new thing is is Taylor uh you know you're doing great
00:54:17
so you're gonna go to theaters which is more money it's more Fame it's great and then put a special out and then name it
00:54:24
and then that'll work for your next special and then your next tour and and that's sort of
00:54:30
scary in itself because it's a lot of pressure and writing an hour that you like is is hard you know if you're hard
00:54:37
on yourself yeah to go I don't I don't love this and they're like you're ready and you're like it's just I don't want people to go ah it wasn't as good as the
00:54:43
last you know yeah I have that's a scary thing this weekend a place that I was right before the standard this weekend
00:54:49
no I have one this Saturday and I I don't I don't have new stuff for that place so I'm gonna try to write it
00:54:56
tomorrow you know what just replace Jimmy's I'll just do about you for 10 minutes I can just extend it I mean you
00:55:05
guys have these crafted hacks and I can just go you know I know we're doing it wrong
00:55:11
I'm a Sketchbook talent instead yeah
00:55:16
go [ __ ] yourself you can get two boosters free vaccines you're still getting covered five boosters you're
00:55:24
still getting Colvin that's why we're introducing the daily coverage shot every day you get a coven shot by the
00:55:30
time to get you a call you got no immunity but it's a beautiful 39 seconds [Laughter]
00:55:37
from the bottom of my all-new leather fouches gold [ __ ] yourself David and I
00:55:43
are standing just for the listeners I'm glad to get that out that warmed me up for Saturday that is funny good say a
00:55:50
bit have you ever you ever say a bit in your hotel room before you go out because you go I don't know this bit and
00:55:55
I cannot I think I'm great I do but when I get out there I do not want to [ __ ]
00:56:01
this up for a theater crowd yeah I owe them it has to be smooth and it doesn't seem smooth until they see it not smooth
00:56:07
and they go and I go ahead it's a little undercooked forget your ending in the
00:56:13
middle of it you go I don't even know where this is going yeah you see it on your set list you go I start it and I go
00:56:18
I don't know what's going on yeah a club you [ __ ] up you're like at least you got chicken fingers yeah well you kind of
00:56:23
say I [ __ ] up and they're there I was playing 1500 Cedar and I dropped the line and it was just kind of embarrassing and I got I go so the whole
00:56:30
souffle of the joke was [ __ ] and I'm like I just you know do you have notes
00:56:36
on stage hidden anywhere I do or you got it in your head sometimes I I just
00:56:41
recently now I don't but also you can take your I record every set of my phone
00:56:48
not always I record every set just in case you stop I mean I'll listen to it if I haven't gone up in a few days to
00:56:55
like get it back man the same way you say it over and over in your hotel I go hear a joke you go listen to it goes
00:57:00
that's how it goes that's how it goes yeah exactly um so I I did have a set list like on the
00:57:09
stool while I was doing clubs all summer because things were moving around and you know you do the thing with the index
00:57:14
cards on the floor and you move it sure all all over the place um but now I I
00:57:19
have it you know in your head yeah now I do but because you say it enough do you have a bit right now that you don't have
00:57:25
to say it out loud that's just kind of coming together and you're thinking oh that's going to be a great chunk oh man
00:57:34
I don't I feel that I kind of feel that way about vest sweaters I was told by somebody oh I was like I don't know what
00:57:41
do I have to write you have a great cardigan shark kind of the best part for me of like
00:57:49
getting to an hour is when you realize you have more than you need and you go oh good I can get rid of these couple
00:57:54
things that weren't that strong yeah like that's the great thing about Tick Tock and Instagram is like if you have a joke they're like this is fine but I
00:58:00
don't want it like in a special just go just goes like on Tech talk and just put
00:58:06
into a [ __ ] wood chipper basically yeah and then you never use it again yeah that I was I didn't even notice
00:58:11
that until someone told me they go it's a lot of crowd work on Tick Tock because you don't want something real from your act I'm like oh my God that's true
00:58:18
because how why would you burn it I mean I get it I was just talking to some other comedian I work with on the road
00:58:24
and I was asking her I go I feel like you're doing too much good stuff on online online oh yeah I mean it sounds
00:58:31
crazy to say but I was she's like I know but I gotta get to a certain point is
00:58:36
kidding to all of it do you feel like are they seen everything your audience no I don't think so you know but you
00:58:44
know it takes one I remember I was doing chosen I was doing shows in like New Jersey a few years ago and I tried a
00:58:51
joke on stage and the girl in the front row went I saw that on Twitter today and I was like yeah that's I tweeted it
00:58:58
today sorry I didn't think did anyone else see it on Twitter that's what I thought like did you have to yell that
00:59:03
so then that kind of got in my head forever even your special I you know I'm new to it my special was HBO when it was
00:59:10
years ago during just shoot me and then I did uh one on Comedy Central that was
00:59:15
sort of in the witness protection program no one saw Dana kept trying to say I tried to see it yeah
00:59:21
he's like and then I gotta join then I have to Comedy Central is the worst go through Paramount they suck they suck
00:59:27
dude so let's [ __ ] on them all right that was [ __ ] Comedy
00:59:33
Central that's so hacky I think their YouTube was doing well for some people for a little while but now I'm like what
00:59:38
do you but yeah the people's old specials getting like tied up by them and know them yeah you know it's hard
00:59:44
for me because I go I would almost use that material again because literally it was a waste so
00:59:49
I finally did Netflix one by the way they weren't clamoring for mine it was just like back then it was right when
00:59:54
they started to bid on them so we had a bid and they didn't answer for a week we said okay let's just do it let's just
01:00:00
get out of the way because I had a window to do it and then this one was fun and when it aired they reminded me
01:00:06
now you it airs tomorrow so when you're in Texas this week you're doing a new special right I'm like oh
01:00:13
yeah I didn't even really think I had like that who said that to you it was managers and also comedians asked me
01:00:19
because my agents were like yeah I feel like comedians are more like yes you need a new hour my reps were like you
01:00:26
can do like half and half like and I was like no you can't not anymore like when we filmed it I started doing half and
01:00:32
half in those like few months before it aired yeah and then when it aired I was doing a new album it's so hard because
01:00:39
the fans would yell out or something or not be delighted to hear it no I probably could have I know it really
01:00:44
gives a [ __ ] because I was asking sometimes they like to hear the ones that they've I never know what the hard rule is I know what people say
01:00:51
and then the argument of like when I see a band they better not sing one [ __ ] new song I mean when I see I just saw
01:00:57
the Doobie Brothers and it was like [ __ ] new songs
01:01:05
I went to 7-Eleven I go I have three songs I left yeah
01:01:14
and a magazine remember Dennis Miller's bit about big dome yeah 32 ounces of
01:01:20
soda what kind of human bead needs that much liquid okay they're just somebody who just stepped off the surface of the
01:01:27
Sun yeah yeah did you when you went back on
01:01:32
the road right after there did you ask the crowd who watched it I did that no I didn't make that feels like a mistake
01:01:37
because then I get scared and go oh I was doing a new hour but I did so I said who watched the special and it wasn't
01:01:43
everybody and I said who hasn't watched the special because they had tickets to this because they bought that before
01:01:49
they knew and a lot of people cheered and I said okay well go home and watch it please because these are new jokes
01:01:54
don't forget go watch it yeah my fear is that because uh I am not very famous
01:02:01
um that people are not gonna come back if I put out a special and then they come see
01:02:07
me and it's the same material my fear is that they're gonna we'll just wait for it to come out but have you ever seen
01:02:12
someone with your friends and you go like when I go to the store I stop by and I'm with a buddy I go oh because everyone's good pretty much you know so
01:02:20
like if Taylor was on or Sebastian or someone I go oh watch and I go oh she didn't do that one you know and you go I
01:02:26
want them to see this joke I like of yours or something and but at the store
01:02:31
you're also knowing there's other Comics watching it's hard it really it's really hard to even just work out there oh my
01:02:36
God I you can't I feel like watching Indigo yeah this is not the place I don't like it no it's it's a competition
01:02:44
Taylor I don't like to hang out I was always first thing Jay Leno said because my son was trying to do stand-up because
01:02:51
he goes get him away from the comedians you know don't hang out you know yes it's right down the street because you
01:02:57
get in love with just hanging out but you know this happens when you're writing comedy you'll do a bit you shoot
01:03:03
the special and then you think of something that go goes right with that so you expand it yeah and so yeah here's
01:03:09
your problem you know yeah if it's bigger and fatters are you saying yeah and you still want to do it you're like
01:03:14
but the germ of it was on there but it was undercooked now it's better yeah I'll be honest I just don't work that
01:03:20
hard and if they get quiet or don't really laugh I just I'm getting paid right you know what's good it's good to
01:03:26
get mad at the audience a lot I tell them they're wrong they go this is your fault yeah this is your energy I'm their
01:03:32
therapist I said where do you think you were wrong how do you think you're not laughing
01:03:40
[Music] do you think because of this time with us that maybe you would try to get on
01:03:46
Saturday Night Live because we have connections now I'm going to yeah because I'm here I forgot what update though because when I was there I should
01:03:52
have fought for update I didn't yeah it was more built for update I would try to always get on update
01:03:57
but Dennis was there and then Kevin Dion they were good and then you know when I I guess Norm came on but do you feel
01:04:03
like if you got on it uh you know like now you'd be like a Pete Davidson type
01:04:09
where'd they put you on one date and you just blow up being like I don't know
01:04:14
this is a brand new world it's a new world yeah you've got bigger than the show in a way because for all the
01:04:20
different reasons you just become a global yeah star and once you're in that tabloid world you just you know because
01:04:26
Fame is is an end in itself I mean you can monetize Fame like nobody's business now get really
01:04:33
really famous and monetize it yeah but yeah back then you could stay on the clothing line yeah you're big
01:04:38
enough Taylor shoes I don't think Taylor clothes isn't there Taylor and Taylor merch I love hearing about merch
01:04:47
why is it all I remember I don't know I was like I was like I don't really need merch and everyone's like you do and I
01:04:54
was like okay do you have catchphrases on or no not in that like the I never know I don't think I ever really did I
01:04:59
have very simple merch now like it just says there was some new stuff yeah it's like I I have uh same topics new jokes I
01:05:09
have like my production company like logo is like a little leather jacket so who's minding your in your production I
01:05:16
mean your business manager or Taylor yes are you saving money yes good how rich
01:05:21
you are how rich are you because we'll tell you because we know I looked up here look I drove up to your house I'm
01:05:26
not this Rich that's for goddamn right on Celebrity Net Worth what would it say I don't know
01:05:35
I was like speak s when you uh when you go I have merch and
01:05:41
I don't sit on the road what I don't know what's your merch I'm scared uh does that have catchphrases on it
01:05:48
new next question why would you do a fly decade or the catchphrase is from not this one hey
01:05:55
buddy no you know what I my plan my plan is to have a good a movie that works
01:06:00
every decade for a new crowd so I did Tommy Boy and I did Joe Dirt and then I
01:06:06
did wrong Missy no I did grown-ups and wrongness he said all I need is four and then you show your t-shirts I do another 10 years
01:06:15
we've been in what 20 movies and two long-running series oh that's it and
01:06:20
then I did two years on eight simple rules and then two years on that and five years on us and oh good lord what a
01:06:27
resume still broken and you're going on the road getting nervous I'm on the road add dates and new show but that that's
01:06:34
the tricky thing is you're already burned out looking at your schedule and you get it just perfectly where you go I could handle that yeah and then when you
01:06:40
add a date it seems like a new thing not part of that thing you go well that's flattering they're gonna add a show I'm
01:06:46
just doing one right now add here add here add here and I go wait a second yeah I'm gonna get there and [ __ ] you
01:06:53
guys so I predict yes I predict right now no pressure that Taylor is going to
01:07:00
make the leap within the next few years to Arenas like Massachusetts I'd say movies
01:07:07
we'll see because stand up is sort of amazing she's got the looks for movies yeah you got a nice face for the lens
01:07:13
kid no but you can that is a hard thing because in in my day in my day my day
01:07:21
we have Netflix specials but you would be the the it was the juxtaposition I
01:07:28
don't think that's a word but it was um it is now it was to stay in town to audition but also to go on the road to
01:07:35
make any money right and to stay in a Town audition you can do it on you know zoom and send in auditions now but it
01:07:41
was always stay in town and then you couldn't make any money um and then I'd fly back at a two-week gig when I was an
01:07:48
early stand up for maybe 500 a week in Hawaii so it was going to be a good trip and 500 a week was pretty juicy so I
01:07:54
said oh and then I had a third call back for In Living Color oh and I was so new and I'm like I'm not right for this show
01:08:00
I'm telling you um not super character and I think I had to stay oh and I go I told Hawaii I'm
01:08:07
just gonna miss Monday and Tuesday and I'll come Wednesday they go nope I missed the whole two weeks ago now we'll get someone else I go [ __ ] so I go in
01:08:13
there and bomb my audition I'm like good luck Jim Carrey well one of us is gonna get this oh my God
01:08:25
I know I just I just walk in and go this oh God Jim Carrey auditioned for us and all when I did he put his foot behind
01:08:31
his neck and he danced and turned into an orangutan and is doing all these Impressions I mean it was like give it
01:08:36
to that guy really anyway he just let Taylor go
01:08:42
we've we've no we've been happening way done I know it's sounds weird but they probably didn't tell you we have three
01:08:47
hours candy and stuff for you because we just gotta get them oh is this right yes well you get one well thank you for
01:08:53
being our youngest basketball funny and Charming this is just my own personal review I just put nice on the top yeah
01:09:01
but with with some it's a single sheet of paper from a yellow legal pad this is
01:09:07
David this is my name this is how I do my notes I need to I
01:09:13
can't do it like him on on a word processor I like to have it just Rumble down you see the arrows oh it's cool but
01:09:18
I watched dead mom bipolar yeah yeah it doesn't it does oh my God dead
01:09:27
mom bipolar jokes because I was like who lands those jokes and we got into it yeah comedy 16 with
01:09:35
an area yeah comedies yeah will you sign it Taylor Thomas yeah
01:09:43
I'm gonna sell it but um but I I watched your shows like David wanted to watch anything he just looks
01:09:50
at the woods what I like to do is eat and then take a nap
01:10:01
we covered every possible thing about SNL we could today and we learned a lot about it I've been our youngest youngest
01:10:07
most popular guests with our younger audience we're going to bring in a whole new world we learned about hashtags we
01:10:13
learned about tagging people we learned about all the stuff we need to know and you learned a lot about us with our over
01:10:20
talking and parenting on the way here she's frantically going which one's which who's done what tell me I'm almost
01:10:26
there it'll be on my phone okay I'll check the phone I won't figure it
01:10:34
out while we're doing it what if I don't what did he do again some kind of lady one guy talks like a girl no he's a lady
01:10:40
what is it you're cutting out all right thank you thank you for having me yes thank you Taylor Tomlinson I need
01:10:47
a head start and then you leave [Music] this has been a podcast presentation of
01:10:53
cadence 13. please listen then rate review and follow all episodes available
01:10:59
now for free wherever you get your podcast no joke folks
01:11:04
fly on the wall has been a presentation of cadence 13. executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Chris
01:11:10
Corcoran of cadence 13 and Charlie finan of brillstein entertainment the show's lead producers Greg Holtzman with
01:11:16
production and Engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of cadence 13.
