00:00:00
so if you're listening to our podcast right now you probably know about my
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family's loss and uh I just want to say that the amount of outpouring online and
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emailing and people I still haven't been able to call back is uh incredible um I
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thought about this over the holidays and I decided to come back to the podcast um because I think you know it's
00:00:26
a long day where you're not working you get in your head and I think it's going to be a great break and I think it's
00:00:32
really cool to laugh and um so with that here I am with my old friend David Spade
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on with the show you know Dana I have to say to add to that that
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um there was uh so much so much Goodwill out there that was going through me to
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tell you even uh Mrs Farley Chris's mom wrote a letter for me to give to you I
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couldn't give it to you yet cuz I hadn't seen you but I just thought I'll wait on that but just to show you it's really
00:01:02
everywhere and I just didn't want to overload you but as you know everyone uh just was all very very nice
00:01:09
things no one knows how to how to deal with it but I I I I agree it's it's nice to the show again I know it's very it's
00:01:17
very sweet and if people say what if I could ever if I could do anything and you really can't it's like me and my
00:01:23
wife and our son's private journey and we're all together and we do a a lot fun
00:01:30
things we really you know we hike go to church you just want to make sure that you keep moving and like I said doing
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this and riffing with you I think is going to be very healthy for me in as I
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recover because I'm kind of on the Pain Train and and with about millions of
00:01:47
other people on this planet and you you don't know how long you're going to be on it or when it'll stop or when it will
00:01:54
get better but in the meantime all this kind of stuff uh is is
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very healthy so I I I agree I mean I've gone through things now I can't say um
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the same things but when I have things in my life sometimes I go back too quickly like a day later a week later
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and but I do like to get my mind off things and doesn't mean I forgot anything it just means I just need a break and uh we laugh a lot together
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we're together and um I like leaving you messages and trying to make you laugh because you know just things in life
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happen but we can move on and we're just going to this thise episode of flying the walls just me and you and which I
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kind of like I'm so sick of those [ __ ] guests but other than that no they're good but you're so needy and you
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got to research and where' you go to high school I know and toward the end of it I'm like oh wait do they have to talk
00:02:47
we have to go to them sometimes so I just wanted to catch up with you on a few things because I haven't seen you in
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a bit and uh it was a lot happened there was award season and uh I don't know if
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you did see well basically honestly they should really just connect all these Awards and make them one day it's just
00:03:07
two hours show and then just go right into the next one you know what I mean you powder the makeup switch the dress
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and because it's too many and they're all the same exactly the same I get that it's its purpose is to promote the
00:03:20
industry but it it does at a point when you're watching it I was watching the critic's choice and there's a point
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where there's so much praise heaped on the person who is actually just playing
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in front of a camera and stuff it's like they're he thing yeah yeah I mean like said I
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like when you go I know the purpose is to is to promote the indust I'm like I didn't know there was a purpose I'm glad you figured out there was a purpose
00:03:48
to yeah it it's like they're they make believe in front of a lens it's not like they've landed on Mars and they know it
00:03:55
but it this you know you you heal a broken world when you played the you you know the dra character whatever but well
00:04:04
Barbie was a great movie I have nothing against it but yeah it's uh award shows are really funny that way it just is um
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you know I was uh this is the week of like emy's Oscars are coming up a I was
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uh shockingly up for two Golden Globes and um and two Emmys the Golden Globes
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were the first funniest because when you're up for TV they see you in the back don't get near the precious movie
00:04:27
stars you can't tell on TV but but I was back in larada like if I won somehow I
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would have had to take a shuttle to the stage because I couldn't have gotten up there before a commercial it would have been like excuse me Pardon Me Like Bugs
00:04:40
Bunny excuse me excuse me so luckily I didn't win and then when I did the Emmys
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this is the grossest story because I'm sitting there I'm pretty close to the front because I was up for a supporting actor or whatever nice and then the they
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literally go and the winner is and they show us all and they go David hide people years and I swear to God on David
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I made a move I made I lifted 10% of my body weight and that's all it took for
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people to go he thought he [ __ ] won for a second I go no I didn't I was shifting I was giving him a standing
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ovation so embarrassing so in your head when you heard David you lift it up and
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you heard Hyde Pierce in your head did you think David and then I lose yep and
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you sat back down I really it got to David and I didn't think there was
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another David it's and I just started to lift like the the puffiness of my
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feathered hair was just starting to lift up a quarter inch and they go hide Pierce and I just quickly deflated and
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people were like let's roll that again that [ __ ] flinched he moved a little bit they did he thought he won
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and everyone was like back no thank God lord there wasn't memes oh I would have
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been the biggest clown but you know I was up for it
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that's the important part you do I I'd done 10 years of standup I was on SNL but I desperately didn't want to win at
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that moment Lauren was sitting behind me I was nominated and I just broke out in a cold sweat I don't even know what it
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was I just did not want to have to go up there and get that award but I did win
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one it's a grotesque feeling oh you won whoops sorry I had that get out yes something slipped out no I did
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finally won six years later and Bob Hope the Bob Hope For You people under 70 um
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he handed me my award that was kind of weird you see someone as a kid on TV Dude That's funny because I'm not that
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old but Amelia aart gave me mine yes uh Henry VII uh nominated
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me you're like that was the one where I think um Queen Elizabeth the first was
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hosting yeah I think Think Jesus introduced the person who gave me the award wa pilot was sitting next to me P
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till of the Hun was up for best uh plunder on the tell me so what did you
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win for was it for SNL character it was a star I kept I got nominated but I
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finally won because what in those days uh I think you were put in I was up against ciru solle and stuff it was like
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a variety thing I was up against jugglers and circus people and I don't
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know what I am to the world and then I'm the sketch guy so then someone said you
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know they don't even really look at the tapes you know he tell told me the behind the scenes of how to win an Emy
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so somehow I changed my little by line or something that's how I probably got it but oh because you know it is true
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what you're up against cuz I was up for the Golden Gloves were tougher cuz it was best support in actor on TV or
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movies so I feel like I already won because it wasn't a comedy it was comedy
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drama and movies that are on TV so I was up against I think Don cheel from ER and
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then uh talk about old you know who won Gregory peek no joke he did 90 seconds
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is a cameo in a movie called Moby Dick and he went up there and I was so
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shocked because I thought he died 10 years before that so he walks up there
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and then he goes I can't believe I'm getting an award for a 92 Cameo and I'm in the back on me
00:08:40
either his real name to me his name is Greg Peking order was his real name but
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he shortened it to PE but I'm Gregory PE and used to talk very deep I actually
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was in an award show now that we're on award show stuff Kirk Douglas was
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getting the AFI Lifetime Achievement Award because I'd done a movie with him
00:09:03
and Bert Lancaster the year before and Danny DeVito I'd only been on SNL 10
00:09:08
shows he introduced me on the stage here's a guy um sat Night Live some so no one knew me very ner wracking so I
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did that but Gregory peek was sitting next to me and my wife and her
00:09:22
mom's ultimate movie stars Gregory pek so before the show started we went over and said hello to him and he couldn't
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have been nicer but then behind us was this we heard this person go and it was Lauren ball and she was
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pissed oh I could see what Bogart put up with I felt bad for Humphrey Bogart That
00:09:41
moment see what he put up with no we were in the wrong the AFI award that is a uh that's a Teamsters Union I think
00:09:48
award yes um these people Gregory pek the AFI which is the uh Auto Workers
00:09:54
Union W I think um they uh they are nervous and I was nervous there being up
00:10:01
for many many many awards so which brings me to Joe Koy because so many
00:10:07
people said hey you're a standup and you've hosted stuff how did he do and it's such a big subject because I
00:10:15
think one of the problems one of them I I don't think he bomb really I think that was a rumor that got started and
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then everyone kind of ran with it people go I heard he was horrible and I go did you see it they go no but that's what I heard I go well it's not that fair
00:10:29
because you're nervous getting an award so you're playing for a crowd of people that just want to get the monologue over with so they can figure out did I win or
00:10:36
not so I can relax that's one po problem uh and I think he's not as well
00:10:43
known as as a lot of host Steve Martin everyone rever Ricky Jes everyone fears
00:10:50
I mean he's up there like him or not he's very ballsy he's had a huge hit shows he's very respected MH and he's
00:10:58
one of them and I think Joe Koy who's a successful comedian isn't really in the
00:11:03
movie and TV world if if you agree where so when he comes up it's like how dare you talk to Robert dairo you know what I
00:11:10
mean there's a little of that I think well to put joeoy in context yes he he's
00:11:16
a gigantic standup with a huge following but in the way the world works now it doesn't always matriculate to across
00:11:24
theboard Fame from sea to shining sea so a lot of people may not have been familiar you know Joe Koy plays Arena he
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sells out the Forum he's um he riffs he does characters he tells stories he's
00:11:38
like a Powerhouse and Incredibly likable and he just ran into an audience that
00:11:43
was a regular kind of corprate that a lot of times they don't you're you're
00:11:49
not the star of the show you know when you do standup he headlines is he's the star of the show now it's a guy will
00:11:55
fill some time before the awards you know so it's it it's difficult for everyone Rick and J saying this is it
00:12:01
I'll never do it again never never you're nothing you know nothing you've never been anywhere you don't you don't
00:12:08
mean anything and he's telling the audience that so he took all the power back but only he could do that because
00:12:14
that's just who he is but it was so funny that is a rare thing we are allowed to do that but like Steve Martin
00:12:19
and Martin sh I think people like to watch they're already halfway 90% laughing when Steve Martin
00:12:25
comes up and when it's Joe Koy they're at zero they're going okay you've got a lot to do here right to get me going I
00:12:32
think yes uh and and going Taylor Swift was almost pre- offended when she sat
00:12:38
down and was just waiting because I agree like she's there she's a big star
00:12:44
um I mean he could have said you know the Golden Globes uh when they found out Taylor Swift was here they were going to
00:12:50
switch it over to Peacock uh because that's what the NFL did it's a good one uh but Taylor Swift
00:12:57
I think he did do a soft joke towards her which wasn't really offensive but I
00:13:03
think she she could have she gave him the walking Phoenix Gladiator thumbs down and once that
00:13:09
happened uh the ti so the idea was he was trying to make fun that when she's at an NFL game they the NFL Cuts away to
00:13:18
her but we're not going to do it so much here was kind of the God was that the
00:13:25
exact joke it was something like so we're going to have more cutaways in the
00:13:30
end it was something that was kind of innocuous it wasn't really a burn or anything she could have made a face like
00:13:36
look at me I'm so cute they keep showing me and everyone would have laughed you know I think when they
00:13:41
showed uh Marl Streeper someone like Martin SCH they they went with the joke and just goofed around and and then
00:13:47
people laugh because they go oh are they okay with it oh okay but when she kind of iced
00:13:53
it it was it was a bit of a heavy lifting after that uh and that's tough
00:13:59
you know yeah well it's I've done a lot of corporate dates and uh you get used
00:14:04
to them and you don't have any expectations and you make sure that you
00:14:10
just try to charm them and then you could have a little fun you know um yeah
00:14:15
they they always come up to you and go hey the CEO's here say something about him he's got three balls and beats his
00:14:21
wife try to work that in and I go oh okay sure um he also said he had 10 days
00:14:27
to prepare he only had 10 days I would have said and I spent the first nine watching killers of the flower Moon
00:14:33
and and and that's kind of funny because the movie is so long but you're just making fun of the length and it has no
00:14:39
real Edge on it to really hurt someone's feelings everyone feels like oh I could laugh at that we all know it's
00:14:45
long but when you there was oh yeah The Color Purple joke about um oids and OIC yeah I
00:14:55
just thought I don't know if I'd mix a race movie with a joke it's just a it's just a dicier outcome
00:15:03
yes it makes people tighten up yeah and I think Joe did say that they actually
00:15:08
kind of were writing almost a day of actually because sort of getting the team together um and uh you know what
00:15:19
he's selling out the Forum this week or something he's gonna be fine this is nothing uh and he actually more famous
00:15:25
and I think he handled it very well in the end of the day you know you feel some empathy for him cuz he's a
00:15:31
brilliant standup it's ridiculous I want to host it next year and see if I can
00:15:36
bomb intentionally worse mhm we're
00:15:44
available one more thing against him or going against him not him personally cuz
00:15:51
I do like him he's been on this podcast he was great uh if you want to get a feel for him you can listen to that one but he it's the first time I've read
00:15:59
ahead of time that people turned it down like Chris Rock Ali Wong Alli Wong so that's another thing
00:16:07
you got going into everyone's like oh no who's going to do it who' they wind up with and then he comes out and they go
00:16:13
oh they wound up with this guy so he's got to win them over a little extra on top of that you know what I'm saying uh
00:16:19
that's a good observation now I'm remembering that they listed all the people that turned it down and these are
00:16:25
like long-term iconic names like Chris Rock or te F and that and Joe ky's doing
00:16:32
it huge following they got him if you don't know him yeah they go oh that if you haven't seen his specials on Netflix
00:16:39
yeah right and then some people do know him and some people just go with the crowd and go oh are we deciding to ice
00:16:44
him like it's high school you know like it's Mean Girls you know by the way if one joke
00:16:51
didn't work I'd go oh so it's Asian hate that's what I'd say of my first joke
00:16:56
just to make people go no no no I like you and then they have to stand up and applaud oh yeah that would be a nice
00:17:02
table Turner yeah a lot of Asian hate out here tonight by the way with Taylor Swift and
00:17:10
Kelsey what's his name uh Travis is there like a like a bener do
00:17:17
we is anyone put together a we know swifties but do we have one for them oh you got
00:17:24
any I couldn't come up with anything yeah Swift Swifty
00:17:30
Travis I think it's trailer no wait there was something I heard
00:17:36
once that cator do you know that they're
00:17:42
saying Chile and uh Murphy's name wrong they say Killian but the real name is
00:17:47
Chilean Seabass anyway why with those
00:17:53
doozies well look this whole podcast here is really a soft audition for David
00:18:00
to host next year's Golden Globes and with these Powerhouse one liners that
00:18:05
are coming out let me put it to you this way there's lots more where that came from everyone everyone home's listening
00:18:12
going is this guy on joke steroids these jokes are too good they can't be real he's hitting HRS dingers out the
00:18:20
it's like he's just coming off of the top with it really I'd love to see that mhm no I
00:18:28
that's all going to but but but you know Chelsea Handler who we haven't had on
00:18:33
but we all know Chelsea uh she did the Choice Awards yeah and you saw that but
00:18:42
uh people said oh she got one in on Joe Koy her ex-boyfriend so that makes it even extra juicy but I wonder if he T
00:18:49
kind of soft though you know yeah what and you know every room's different you'd have to be in the room at the
00:18:55
Golden Globe as a stand up like sit there see how talking get the vibe and then get the vibe of where the critic's
00:19:01
choice award what the feeling of it was but I would say that she really she
00:19:09
Charmed them you know there was a lot of compliments and and charm and then some
00:19:14
and then jokes but maybe that's an you know was just she was going to do it anyway but she really you know right I
00:19:22
think she knew you at least she got to look at that one and say what can I learn from that and if she's going to do
00:19:29
a joke CU because Joe Koy did people got mad he said oh those are the writer jokes they don't work the ones I write
00:19:34
are good something like that now the next host that ever did anything might want to do a joke like that say that was
00:19:41
from my writers just to get them an Applause you know like that kind of thing you know what I'm saying yeah well
00:19:48
there's 48 award shows between January and February and that's literal and there is a
00:19:54
possibility that Killian Murphy might win the Oscar and then forget that he
00:20:00
was in the movie it had been so long in so many award shows goes what am I up here for travel the world and what's I
00:20:08
should introduce it David and I are now going to do a special third podcast where we just critique award shows I
00:20:16
know what are we doing we're going too far we should talk more about what else can I tell you about about my road gigs
00:20:21
this weekend on my tour I was in the blizzard Dana there was an icy storm in
00:20:27
the Midwest and you were apparently caught in the middle of it can you speak to that how thank you for these
00:20:34
hard-hitting questions well you had called me I think or we talked and you said you didn't know if the gig was H
00:20:39
yeah you were pretty upset yeah they were saying you know I'm going to Chicago they say it's worst blizzard
00:20:45
bliz watch uh and it's it's so crazy of course people go you're going to go to
00:20:51
Chicago and Michigan in January I'm like oh I'm sure it'll be fine I mean what are you going to catch a blizzard of
00:20:57
course blizzard shut down the airport I got in landed and then everything shut
00:21:02
down schools shut down they're like and people like on DMS going please don't do the show I I live four blocks away I'll
00:21:09
never make it I'm like four blocks I just flew six hours like I'm going if I can go I'm going I can't bail out on the
00:21:17
people that show up if one person shows up I'd feel horrible that I didn't go on so I tried and all day I just watched
00:21:24
the local weather they was so weathery the weather guy would go talk for 20 minutes he goes let's throw to and they
00:21:30
threw to another weather guy I'm like I've never seen him throw to more weather and it was like a chick because she was like tired going okay I got it
00:21:37
from here all right yeah it's horrible and so it's you know it's weather porn at a certain point because they just
00:21:44
want to get you so terrified the guy's taking blizz
00:21:50
piics I took a little blizz pics and uh and the girl was showing her boobs it is
00:21:56
like porn I mean it's very similar so I was scared everyone was scared how are
00:22:01
you going to turn off a weather guy if he's saying it's dangerous out there we're going to tell you right after this
00:22:06
word from our sponsors you could get killed if you walk outside hi I'm Johnny weather guy yeah they show and and I'm
00:22:13
in a building that's going it's swaying and I'm like hey Chicago quit pretending like you don't
00:22:19
know about snow and wind and cold like that's your whole pitch you know that's your license plate isn't it called the
00:22:26
Windy City what do you mean yeah I know and they're like there's wind I'm like guys guys quit I'm not in Arizona saying
00:22:32
it's hot I can't believe it like this is how it is here and everyone's scared and then Bobby mamota who is my my opener we
00:22:40
go to Northface and it's closed for inclement weather and he's like guys
00:22:45
this is your Super Bowl why are you closed what Northface is closed this is the one place that should be open you
00:22:51
need a coat well he needs a coat and he can't get in the store so what is he supposed to do shouldn't it happen
00:22:58
open this is all they want is cold weather and they're like guys it's freezing we're like no [ __ ] see if Trump
00:23:06
was President he'd be like we're going to keep North Face open we're going to keep it open we're going to open we're
00:23:11
going to keep it open I told him and they're going to open it up um everyone's talking about it everyone's
00:23:17
saying everybody said it let me tell you but they don't know so you're did you do the first night then you did the G so
00:23:24
Chicago turns into like hey it it was a pretty big theater they're like hey if
00:23:29
there's not a power outage we're going to go and I'm like I if I can get there I'll go so I went there I'm like I got
00:23:35
to get to chili first you know whatever so I get there and it was probably 80%
00:23:41
full it was sold out but you know probably 20% just didn't come and then uh so 80% full so it was 18,000 people
00:23:49
about yeah so it was like a little more than the Super Bowl and then the next
00:23:55
night was Michigan where I was born in Michigan and we were up in uh Royal Oak I think it was called and that was full
00:24:02
and by the time we got up there it wasn't quite as bad so it was it was pretty still sold out it wasn't they
00:24:08
were really they were a little tougher about it I thought it was odd that and this is pointless to say but the Kansas
00:24:15
City football game was on and the Buffalo game was canceled when they were both like horrible weather like below
00:24:23
zero why cancel one and not the other interesting I don't think Taylor Swift
00:24:30
made a call made a call hello President Biden hello president of the world I'm
00:24:38
doing it Taylor Swift is on line three she's like if I flew here the
00:24:44
game's going thumbs up and they're like she says thumbs up it's
00:24:50
on well my wife did watch the game uh because she wanted to see the Taylor
00:24:55
Swift reaction shots uh in up in the Frozen Frozen Booth um
00:25:02
there there's always one guy it's it's 40 below windchill no exaggeration with
00:25:07
no shirt on and they never follow what happens to this guy has he ever heard of
00:25:13
frostbite when he dies immediately after it is it's a life to get on YouTube and
00:25:18
to get on some cutway on camera and they all you know they paint their face take
00:25:24
the shirt off and it's a lot of Bert Cher out there and um look like bird crer exactly a whole stadium full of
00:25:31
birds that'd be a great audience yeah and so they do it they hope and if you don't get on camera then you're really
00:25:37
[ __ ] because then you're like why did I get hypothermia for nothing my nuts are in my [ __ ] throat bab Christ
00:25:44
sakes I did a movie in Canada once and it was like 40 below and they at the
00:25:49
night shoots they'd yell out someone's got frostbite yeah Nicholas Cage and I
00:25:54
and John litz and you'd wear three four layers of cloes clothes like clothes more clothes more clothes and then in
00:26:00
between shots they'd put a thing around your face just your eyeballs and you had goggles on and they were doing fake snow
00:26:06
and anyway it was a paycheck it's so hard night shoots are horrible and that is and cold is very tough uh I went to
00:26:14
get a I didn't go to Barney's and I went to Barney's years ago to buy a big winter jacket and they go I go I need
00:26:20
one for the snow and I need one for winter and they go oh this is a great one it was a puffer with leather on the outside and it was very expensive they
00:26:26
go but a lot of the wrapper wear it and I said oh done it's all I need to hear it's already confirmed cool and then I
00:26:33
said I'll take it skiing and he goes ooh I wouldn't wear it in the snow I go you
00:26:38
wouldn't wear your winter coat in the snow and he goes mm I go what about the rain he goes no he I go what would you
00:26:45
wear he goes I wouldn't wear it in Rain drizzle um Dusty cloudy Thunder sunset
00:26:56
uh it's kind of in your room it's go it's more of an indoor coat for
00:27:03
Instagram I would take a photo for wearing you can wear it but it's not
00:27:09
advisable uh I go like I just wear it in my kitchen he goes more of a living room
00:27:16
I wouldn't too many windows uh so I I uh it's hard to wear a coat on the plane
00:27:22
the coats are so big on this dog [ __ ] flight they had to they had to stop my flight like we're leaving in 4 minutes
00:27:29
and everyone's like okay and then the one thing that's infuriating is we're sitting for 40 minutes and we haven't done anything and they give us no
00:27:35
information and the and the flight attendant are cackling up front they're like where are you going tonight oh last
00:27:41
night blah blah I'm like you can't be happy until we take off you have to be sad like us stressed worried like oh
00:27:48
we're trying to get this plane off the ground they're just giggling tickling and then we finally get on the runway
00:27:54
and we've got to [ __ ] find they go we got a de ice the they were doing they they de I the wings then we're going to
00:28:01
ice them again I'm like why are we icing them then they go now we got to De I them we [ __ ] up cuz we iced
00:28:06
them H Dana you don't get
00:28:13
it I took a private jet out of wind over Nevada and the pilots look like they're
00:28:18
right out of high school it was after a gig mark p was my opener at a casino it was probably a rickety Bargain Basement
00:28:25
private jet and so they had to wake up the deicing guy he was asleep cuz it was
00:28:31
like 1: in the morning and he comes in he's got one of those guys he has a long beard and then he has a rubber band around it and more beard and so he gets
00:28:39
out on the machine and they hul us out there and they're deicing and then we get out in the tarmac in the middle of
00:28:45
nowhere just ice everywhere and the young pilot gets out of the plane and he I'm going to make I'm going to look
00:28:51
around at the ice so he goes around looks at the ice Mark pit has had at least two bottles of red wine and then
00:28:57
he comes back in and I said when will we know when will we know he goes 20
00:29:04
seconds if we we're actually getting lift 20 seconds after 20 seconds you'll
00:29:10
know after the wheels are up what 20 seconds if we fly for 20 seconds then we
00:29:16
know the Integrity that we have we've iced properly and we are going to fly he said 20 seconds and then what if it's
00:29:24
doesn't work I said could I get off he said too late and he
00:29:29
fled and I'm just f it goes I heard this on a plane one and it goes beep and it
00:29:37
was beeping and the guy hit a button and I go did you fix it and he goes I fixed the noise and I go what what why is there
00:29:45
why what about what's causing the noise and he goes sometimes these things have a way of figuring themselves out in the
00:29:51
air let's go for it well look I I don't fly private jets all the all the time I'm not to have
00:29:58
international wealth but you can see the pilots and you hear things and you don't like to hear this when you're flying
00:30:04
pull up pull up pull up pull up that's the computer TR traffic traffic pull
00:30:10
yeah I hear that I can hear a regular plane you walk up I go what's going on up here guys traffic traffic I'm like
00:30:15
wait 500 feet I go what do these mean what's going on why are you worried 400
00:30:20
feet 300 ft pull up pull up lots of planes heading your
00:30:26
way Ice D Ice Ice Ice Baby I was up there and I was yelling what are you
00:30:32
guys doing what are you guys doing and I heard the computer say shut up shut up shut up good three to yeah three
00:30:43
times who is this clown I like when the pilot I was sitting on the plane because it was all the way from Michigan and
00:30:49
then the pilot comes out and he and he takes a dump you know and they have to put the Bev cart in front of there they
00:30:55
won't even let me stand up I know I know I'm not allowed to charge the cockpit I know that part but or look at the
00:31:01
cockpit or head that way she's like laying on it and then I go I just get up to go in the overhead to grab something
00:31:07
she goes you'll have to sit down you can't be in the aisle I go am I the guy am I gonna am really am I throwing on
00:31:14
all way so I can somehow crash this plane and go to jail whatever and then about the worst part is we're all timing
00:31:20
the pilot cuz he comes out so long like 40 minutes all the pilots unload like
00:31:25
nobody's business I don't know what they're doing over there they're holding it during layovers I don't know but they
00:31:31
they definitely see God in there man it's it takes forever dude he took his time read the paper he comes out he goes
00:31:37
what's going on out here I go well we crashed on an island because there's no pilot so do you want to help me gather
00:31:43
coconuts there was no one in the [ __ ] flying the plane 5 foot tall fly tenant
00:31:50
with their arms crossed standing in front of the beverage cart if she's going to tackle Abdul who was ever diving at the beverage cart
00:31:59
well all CHS are named obdul good we're canel any pick a random Steve Steve he
00:32:07
he's uh the new head of Isis Steve the terrorist I will tell you before I get
00:32:12
rid of you Dana because I got so many things to do today I know you do have a big life but I I was realizing when I
00:32:18
got back from vacation I don't get many Christmas cards anymore sent to me in
00:32:24
the old days no now I get I get lazy emails with a
00:32:29
photo and I don't even get many of those the last one was happy holidays from your family at Toyota of North
00:32:38
Hollywood the where you got a oil change three and a half years ago I'm like are
00:32:43
you really my family then they have a picture of their 3,000 employees I'm like what am I supposed to do with this
00:32:49
look hey there's Kenny from sales I think in the back so oh and then it says it says
00:32:55
after it says the bottom please join us for our hot chocolate brunch
00:33:02
reception I'm like that was the worst [ __ ] party I've ever been to Kenny
00:33:07
Valencia on Saturday February 18th for a special
00:33:13
barbecue okay with all the Toyota dealers and employees I'm like oh I hope
00:33:18
the guy that told me where the bathroom was was there that's the only guy I talked to in the whole hey we should pick on someone who's not our sponsor
00:33:24
come to allnew Hyundai right for the Hyundai barbecue for all our listen I'm
00:33:31
spinning this to where at least Toyota's inviting me places hey man tyot I did a gig for them once where a corporate date
00:33:38
where Jack Palance and I were doing a sketch together like 8,000 people and
00:33:43
he's dressed like uh the city slicker he's dressed like a cowboy and he was so nervous that he
00:33:51
went he had a bluetick breakdown right before he went out he literally went crazy yeah down got find because they
00:33:59
told him to move cuz they're bringing cars through and then he goes out and he Nails it perfectly super Charming but I
00:34:05
just thought this is gonna go down we are into trouble he was off his City Slickers heat yeah yeah doing corporate
00:34:12
lot of heat after that oh yeah he wandered around and stuff but oh he's he did one-handed push-ups on the Oscars
00:34:20
right is that his CLA the yeah friend of Billy crystals he went to the
00:34:25
Stars I don't know what were we what were we talking about
00:34:30
we talking about Toyota and then talking about you went you were dating Jack P oh
00:34:37
Christmas cards yeah I don't know about you but lately I've just I've allowed
00:34:42
everything because you know they say allow location oh yeah I just say yes so I
00:34:48
used to mix it up or no I just go yeah then I go down and accept cookies
00:34:53
cookies give me those [ __ ] I'm the Cookie Monster or manage them I press
00:34:59
manage them it goes that's like accepting them thank you I like it goes hey it doesn't matter
00:35:06
if you want these cookies just press yes or no and I press no and it kicks me off the website I go well I guess I have to
00:35:12
say yes or I can't do anything they're like you're starting to get it yeah start your [ __ ] cookies if
00:35:19
you don't do if you don't say yes to cookies you don't allow them you don't allow your location your service gets
00:35:24
kind of sloppy your connection gets soft and you know that's that's how they get you they know you don't care because
00:35:30
they go are are you allowing us to use your camera roll and use it against you
00:35:35
at some point and I said yes let me just see this menu I'm
00:35:40
looking at or whatever I don't know I always end up are we allowed to look in your bank and take money out of it and
00:35:47
I'm like yes can we Harvest your information and sell it globally to make ourselves Rich can we get inside your
00:35:54
personal information and put it out on the the open market so people can Target Market you and by the way iPhones do
00:36:01
listen as far I mean there's no way you're talking and then it shows up on
00:36:06
your computer or in your email what you were saying are we allowed to watch you masturbate through your camera and then
00:36:13
film it and then put it on uPorn I'm like yes just let me see this menu are we allowed to deliver a camera that we
00:36:20
you can stick on your crotch we're realizing the
00:36:26
camera we you to spy and you isn't good enough can you clip a camera onto your laptop next time you CR cam we'll
00:36:32
deliver it to you are we allowed to deliver it to this address and we'll send real cookies um we're in the wrong if you hit
00:36:41
cookies we will give you real cookies to go with the cookies that sounds pretty
00:36:50
good I'm going to I think for more sweet tooth I have a thing called uh cream pie allow cream pie excuse me I've been
00:36:58
getting a lot of allows let me put it that way I've been getting a lot of cream pies in my
00:37:03
algo that sounds sexual any maybe we should maybe we should go on that it is sexual I hate oh is it I didn't know
00:37:11
what what's the most delicious irresistible dessert ask Heather all right let's end on that accidental dirty
00:37:19
dirty thing but I we want to tell everyone also Dana yes we are doing a spin-off we're doing a uh another
00:37:26
podcast called Superfly spinoff a fly in the wall mhm and it will be starting I
00:37:32
think February 2nd and uh it's going to be on video yes we're we're making the leap and then we'll be on YouTube and
00:37:39
you'll be able to see what we look like filters and what we feel like um and
00:37:47
we'll have Clips on Instagram and Tik Tok and you can comment saying oh my God these guys got old or
00:37:53
whatever how do they look that good we be no we'll be on camera doing stuff so
00:37:58
they I I do I'll tease this I have a new bid I'm working on where Barack Obama
00:38:04
calls Joe Biden and can't quite hear him clearly so he gets Hunter Biden to
00:38:10
interpret so that'll be on Superfly and you can see it which is even funnier so you get to see us that's right work in
00:38:17
our bits yes and it's funny so that starts soon so watch that also and
00:38:23
flying the wall uh now we're back for uh this year 2024 so we have a lot of good
00:38:28
people coming up and uh hope you keep tuning in we really appreciate it that you've made it a big hit show we really
00:38:35
really appreciate it so thank so much I never thought I'd hear the word season
00:38:41
3 yeah I didn't know we had season so we have a season three and uh thank you so
00:38:46
much everybody and we will see you on Superfly and fly on the wall bye Dana goodbye David this has been a
00:38:54
presentation of Odyssey please follow us subscribe leave a like a review all the
00:38:59
stuff smash that button whatever it is wherever you get your podcast fly on the wall is executive produced by Dana
00:39:05
Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Charlie finan of brillstein entertainment and Heather
00:39:10
Santoro the show's lead producer is Greg
00:39:18
hter
