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Mitch James discusses mental health and suicide || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

April 04, 2022 / 01:15:54

This episode of "Runners Only with Dom Harvey" features New Zealand singer-songwriter Mitch James, discussing his recent marathon experience, music career, and personal struggles.

Dom Harvey expresses gratitude for the positive feedback on his podcast's teaser episodes and acknowledges the support from fellow podcasters like Cal Thompson and James Marshall. He shares his excitement and nervousness about launching the first official episode.

Mitch James talks about running his first marathon in Auckland, where he aimed for a time of four hours but finished in three hours and twenty-eight minutes. He shares the emotional significance of the race, mentioning his parents' health issues and how running became a way to honor them.

The conversation touches on Mitch's journey in music, including his struggles with mental health, the challenges of the music industry, and the impact of social media on his well-being. He reflects on his past experiences with anxiety and the importance of self-talk.

Throughout the episode, Mitch shares his thoughts on the stigma surrounding mental health, the importance of being authentic, and his desire to inspire others to embrace their true selves.

TL;DR

Mitch James discusses his marathon debut, music struggles, and mental health journey on Dom Harvey's podcast.

Episode

1:15:54

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hello you little legends i'm dom harvey

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and this is my podcast runners only with

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dom harvey the first official episode

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and [ __ ] i am nervous

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um

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first of all can i say uh thank you

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thank you thank you thank you thank you

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so much if you've listened to one of the

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um

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teaser episodes or trailer episodes that

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i've posted in the last couple of weeks

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and thank you for the uh the kind

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comments as well the response has been

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um i don't know if it's necessarily

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deserved but it's been um truly humbling

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it really has because i've honestly got

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no idea what i'm doing here i am with my

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broadcasting history uh familiar and

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comfortable with talking into a

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microphone but in the past i've had no

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interest or no need to learn any of the

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tech side of anything i'm doing so this

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has been a whole

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new ball game

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and there's bound to be a lot of stuff

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ups on the way and i'm excited about

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that and um part of me is excited about

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having you guys along for that ride as

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well a couple of thank yous i need to

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thank um my good friend one of my old

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radio producers cal thompson who um also

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has a podcast himself that you should

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check out called married divorced and

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dating he has been instrumental in

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getting me up and running he when i tell

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him i want to do a podcast he um he gave

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me a list of equipment i needed to buy

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and he's helped me every step of the way

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and there have been a lot of calls and a

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lot of face times

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so when i say every step of the way

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there have been a lot of steps like a

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sky tower amount of steps so cal thank

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you so much actually um yeah other

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podcasters as well there's um james

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marshall who does what a lad uh tana

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roomanga who's got a fantastic podcast

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as well anyone in the podcasting

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community that you ask for um sort of

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help assistance feedback or whatever

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everyone is so kind and so generous and

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so willing to help and that's really

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cool i'm really humbled by that i do

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apologize if it sounds like i'm

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overstating this but um i suffer from

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this some can it's really weird this

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condition called imposter syndrome it's

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an actual thing where you're just always

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waiting to be caught out because you

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don't think you don't think you're

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worthy it's it's really really weird

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it's um it's a just a nasty brain thing

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but yeah maybe you feel the same maybe

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you um also have imposter syndrome and

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you never knew it had a name but if

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you're curious about it yeah look it up

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it's an actual thing all right here we

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go the first official podcast run is

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only with dom harvey today's guest a

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good friend of mine new zealand

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singer-songwriter absolute legend of a

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man mitch james you might know his song

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um sunday morning uh god there's so many

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other bangers as well look them up on

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spotify if you're not familiar with whom

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mitch james is but as well as that he's

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a marathon runner in his first marathon

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in auckland a few weeks ago did a

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cracking time as well and um you won't

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believe

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under what circumstances he did it i

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guarantee he was the only person in the

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auckland marathon

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that did this particular pre-race thing

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that he did before we get into that any

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feedback you've got when you get to the

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end of it um i'd love it any guest

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suggestions you've got has this podcast

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been too long is there any optimum

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length any sort of feedback you've got

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because i'm sort of punching my way

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through the dark here and i want to grow

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this thing as a community with you guys

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and i appreciate you being here at step

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one along for the journey with me all

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right here we go

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theme music

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is only key let's get it started

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this is runners only with dime harley

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fast paced slow and steady anyway you

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coming just wanna connect for everyone

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who loves

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[Music]

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sitting here with mitch james who just

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listened to the theme mitch james by the

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way singer songwriter one of new

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zealand's finest um what did you think

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of the theme song mate i was pleasantly

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surprised i was pleasantly surprised i

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was actually expecting because we talked

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about it as a fiver sort of job and i

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was expecting hell on earth but yeah not

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bad for 80 bucks thanks very much could

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you do better

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absolutely i could have but it might

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cost you a little bit more than 80 bucks

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hey sir how are you i'm good man i'm

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very good i'm very good and yeah like i

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said off here like i saw you message me

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and i actually saw the podcast for the

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first time

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about an hour or two before and i was

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like i'll hit you up like i i want to be

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on here and have a chat about running

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and some stuff that

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people usually probably wouldn't ask so

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yeah yeah because you um just recently

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um ran the auckland marathon your first

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uh your debut marathon yeah um how did

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you get on

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yeah i did i originally set the goal for

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four hours and um

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i kind of realized i was making pretty

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good progress and so set it for a 3 30

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um target and you ended up doing three

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hours 28

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15.

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actually for any marathon that's flying

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that's a really good pace that's a five

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minute five minute capacity yeah yeah

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yeah so now it was an experience like my

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mum had uh mum and dad had both run

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marathons and um they've both been sick

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so sort of a way for me to to honour

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them um which was real cool and mum came

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up for it um dad was a bit too crooked

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but yeah for them to be there and um i

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got the warning about the last hitting

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the wall and everything whatever mum

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like

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yeah i must admit when i invited you on

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the podcast um i didn't know

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that you had been running i don't know

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what your association with running was

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but i just remember you coming into

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to see me at the edge in places and i've

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talked about you and your your mum

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before and her running so she was a

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runner growing up

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yeah i think uh i'm not sure when she

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discovered the fire for it but she she

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would have been young and um yeah she's

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she's

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fun size she's tiny and so she's um

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yeah not much weight to carry around so

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she just sort of flew around the streets

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wherever she was for for years i think

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she won the invercargill marathon and

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held the record there for a while

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um

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but yeah she was always sort of there

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are there abouts for for um new zealand

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woman yeah and and um you see their

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health's not good at the moment what's

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going on there uh mum mum's doing okay

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at the moment but she uh she's been

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battling melanoma um

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dad's got a bit of prostate cancer which

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has spread a little bit so he's um he's

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battling through but yeah like i said it

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was a real cool way to to honour them

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and then in the in the midst of it all i

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uh definitely caught the bug

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wow wow so what's next you're going to

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do another one you want to get that time

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down or you just keep running for

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fitness and well so i i've

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i've i've finished i think it was

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something like 149th and

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um i realized without my uh toilet

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breaks which we'll probably get into

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later on

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that i would have i would have been

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something like 120th and

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there's just something inside me that

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wants to finish in the top hundred of a

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marathon so i think that's probably next

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so the the top hundred in the auckland

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marathon did you work out what time you

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need to make top 100 yeah i think it

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wasn't even too i think there was a

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influx around like 320 that came through

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so i probably need to probably need to

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take yeah 10 or so minutes off it but um

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yeah i mean i can't stop i i start my

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chiropractor was like you need to take a

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month off running

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and i think it was four days after the

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marathon where i had the

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started hitting the pavement again yeah

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so when did you decide to do that

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and how do you the marathon and how did

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how do you fit it in with all your music

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commitments so um

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yeah i think i would have started like

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i've always sort of ran like when i'm in

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good fitness habits i like

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it wouldn't have been a focus in the

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past but it always sort of been there

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there abouts and then um

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yeah i broke up with my my ex-partner

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and i

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had nothing to do

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so

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i like again covert as a musician you

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know like it's [ __ ] all to do like you

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know there's only so many songs you can

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write and no no gigs to play so

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um you know i i was a bit of a sad sack

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at the time so

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i figured you know i always feel better

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after a run and and

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5ks ends up turning into 42 five months

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later

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yeah that's amazing mate that is so

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amazing and um yeah 328 some people

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spend their entire life like trying to

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break four hours you know yeah so you go

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out there

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and you've smashed 3 30 in the future

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did you get recognized on course or do

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you get recognized when you're training

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i think it's it's hard to say like new

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zealanders uh um oh okay gotcha so

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people might give you a look but not

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necessarily yeah you know this right you

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know you you

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i'm sure it's probably the exact same as

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you when you go for a run you get the

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old double take and well like when

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you're walking down the street you hear

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this

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with the whispers as you as you go but

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um

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and then when you walk away much yeah

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yeah you're pretty much

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um but there was there was one um

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there was one lovely lady on the uh a

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volunteer who was uh who sort of blew my

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cover which was funny i thought i had a

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pretty clean race going through and then

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um as we got through town

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uh this um lovely lady is that mitch

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james miss james i'll go miss james and

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then i start hearing the whole volunteer

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group oh which days there you go but um

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yeah no they could have been more

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creative the rum was literally on a

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sunday morning yeah well literally there

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you go

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there you go but yeah i mean no i i

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think it's yeah you probably know it's

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the uh the double looks you kind of know

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where you know it's like the sixth sense

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yeah one thing i noticed when i was

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whenever i was out with um jj when we

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were still together she's really good at

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picking up on when

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people are giving her the look yeah and

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she'll be proactive and go over and say

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hi to them i i don't do that myself

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that's very jj isn't it yeah i'm i'm i'm

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the same as you like unless i'm boozed

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up

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but yeah i i i find it just uh

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yeah it's a little it's a little weird

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but there's some i guess there's two

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types of people right there's the um

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there's the

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and the people like jj who just love

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just the the interaction with people and

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then there's the people like me who just

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kind of want to

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hide away in the corner yeah yeah you

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said you had quite a few toilet um

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breaks in the first half of the year

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yeah what's the uh what's the go there

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yeah so so they um that they are very

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expensive on the time when you finish

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yeah yeah big time um

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so

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my mom

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my mum came up for the race and she's

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like

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oh you got a car blowed you got a car

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upload she's like nothing but carbs all

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day like this sounds a bit weird but

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okay and so

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i bought an air fryer

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i bought an air fryer slammed in the

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kuma chips all day all night

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and um

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woke up and 5 30 not a morning person

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like typically like i'll wake up

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whenever i wake up i'll um

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indulge in a little bit of

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cannabis

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and i'll go for my run on my time but 5

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30 am mum's there i'm flustered as [ __ ]

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i don't know what's going on she says

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get in the car now we're going to be

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late you're going to miss the start so

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obviously in there there wasn't time to

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go to the toilet um

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and little did i know i have i have a

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days worth of camera backlogged

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somewhere um

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and so then i uh i get

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and we're on the motorway 530 no one's

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there and we're kind of racing i'm like

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mom like [ __ ] like this is

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problematic and so luckily there's some

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poor to lose at the start and so

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oh okay we're good

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finish uh start line five minutes to go

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let's go all right bang and then about

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10 15 minutes and i was like oh [ __ ]

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there's more yeah

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yeah there's more

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and

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i don't think uh i think well probably

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fair enough they don't put much

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portaloos on the in the front little bit

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because not everyone's a [ __ ] idiot

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yeah okay

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and so i was holding on get to the first

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toilets

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and i was like oh [ __ ] okay and then

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that sort of same thing happened up

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until

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about the halfway mark and i think it

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was four or five stops

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and then um

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then yes we were all clear oh runway was

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runway was clear and um

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yeah no more stops but um yeah thanks

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mum

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the the marathon winner they they know

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it all

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you know because when you when your mum

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was racing it was probably um like a

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really really big thing i think

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nutritionists have sort of um

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said you don't need as many there used

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to be like pasta parties yeah you go to

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a marathon event and the night before

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you there'd be like a pastor party where

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people just have you know load up on

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carbs with pasta as much as you can yeah

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yeah i'm not surprised but yeah to be

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fair i think mum's knowledge is probably

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stuck in the 1980s

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for sure yeah and what about um what

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about on course did you have any gels or

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anything like that i had a few gels yeah

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so i i

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experimented i think about 10 or 12 days

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out with like a long one like i think

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for the 33ks i win and um tried out the

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gels then and

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the first one i had i was like oh they

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are [ __ ] disgusting

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awful you need water put it there

00:13:04

put it that way so i figured that one

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out slowly got that down oh [ __ ] i need

00:13:08

water and you know that feeling when um

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you know like there's too much sugar in

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you and you want to vomit but like your

00:13:14

body stops it had that but then after

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that first one i've just i felt good i i

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felt good and felt like i could do it um

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that last 10 k's i said yeah i got this

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one more energy gel in that last 10ks uh

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i'll be sweet and um

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boy was i [ __ ] wrong but yeah they

00:13:31

that i had them and um

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yeah just the [ __ ] they gave you on

00:13:35

course i found it so strange that they

00:13:37

uh gave you flat coke but um apparently

00:13:40

oh that sounds like petrol yeah yeah

00:13:42

that's right in the last yeah last half

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hour of a run oh yeah don't yeah in

00:13:46

future always take the flat coke yeah

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[ __ ] yeah i learned that ask like kind

00:13:51

of nice too yeah weirdly enough yeah but

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yeah i um

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i had a lot of uh rookie mistakes and

00:13:57

stuff but um yeah that's good there's a

00:14:00

lot to work on and a lot of time you can

00:14:01

shave off in future yeah yeah yeah hey

00:14:04

mum

00:14:05

all right there's so much to chat about

00:14:08

with you um

00:14:10

let's go let's go right back hey should

00:14:11

we go right now so you went to um saint

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keynes unfortunately

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yeah you um and i i read somewhere you

00:14:16

like you hated it and this is sort of

00:14:18

how you found music yeah no i um

00:14:21

there was like a

00:14:23

sort of i guess you'd call it playground

00:14:25

incident at school

00:14:26

which sort of um

00:14:28

resulted in me kind of not being

00:14:31

the dude that everyone wants to hang out

00:14:33

with or whatever did you get a fight or

00:14:35

no so um some dude brought weed to

00:14:38

school and um

00:14:40

my mum asked me how my day was at school

00:14:42

oh yeah all good like

00:14:45

saw weed for the first time i liked my

00:14:46

mum being

00:14:48

way too protective when and essentially

00:14:51

knocked on these dudes

00:14:53

yeah yeah so

00:14:55

i was that guy

00:14:58

and

00:14:59

yeah so no one really liked me um yeah

00:15:01

so i would go to the music center and um

00:15:04

at lunch and stuff and i would just hope

00:15:06

that the rehearsal rooms are open and

00:15:08

just kind of it was sort of just like a

00:15:09

solace for a while and just um took my

00:15:11

mind off how everyone's an [ __ ]

00:15:14

yeah it was a very slow

00:15:16

uh growth of my own confidence and um

00:15:19

yeah but it's uh it all kind of stemmed

00:15:22

back from

00:15:23

from not really enjoying school is kind

00:15:26

of how i developed that passion and

00:15:27

probably the angsty uh songwriter-ness

00:15:30

that that that helped me succeed yeah

00:15:32

isn't that amazing and um so you you

00:15:34

taught yourself to play the guitar by

00:15:36

watching youtube clips which seems

00:15:37

remarkable to me and

00:15:39

guitar is one of those things you know

00:15:40

you practice and you get better is

00:15:42

singing the same or were you always a

00:15:43

good singer absolutely i was a [ __ ]

00:15:45

awful singer yeah yeah yeah oh god i

00:15:48

would hate

00:15:49

have you seen the video of ed when he's

00:15:52

playing himself from when he's 15 as

00:15:55

it's those vibes

00:15:57

so bad but it's just um it's like

00:15:59

anything

00:16:00

when you're obsessed with him it's your

00:16:01

passion you can't stop doing it

00:16:03

eventually you just get better and i

00:16:05

think like the one thing that i was like

00:16:07

gifted with vocally is just tone i guess

00:16:09

like you know someone can sing and hit

00:16:12

all the right notes but if it just

00:16:14

sounds kind of annoying or whatever like

00:16:16

it's not gonna work so i i yeah i guess

00:16:19

i was lucky with my tone but everything

00:16:20

else was pretty hard earned

00:16:22

i live by a rule of like i want to be

00:16:25

better than i was yesterday as cliche as

00:16:28

it is so

00:16:29

i'm always looking to improve on on the

00:16:31

last performance or the last song the

00:16:33

last anything so

00:16:34

yeah yeah hopefully getting better yeah

00:16:37

oh absolutely 100 and so um

00:16:40

this has been well documented over the

00:16:41

years so so you so you once you leave

00:16:43

school yeah you know you've got a job as

00:16:45

a car groomer or whatever and then you

00:16:46

go uh to the uk on a one-way ticket with

00:16:49

like 20 bucks in your pocket now you're

00:16:51

you're from a nice loving stable family

00:16:53

like yeah how did they let this happen

00:16:56

so did no one talk you out of it so

00:16:59

so

00:17:00

that if we go back to school

00:17:02

um where the irony sort of comes in with

00:17:05

this weed thing is um

00:17:08

like i don't really have many friends

00:17:10

because of that so

00:17:11

the couple friends that i did have

00:17:14

we were little rat bags essentially like

00:17:16

we pissed up and smoked weed and did

00:17:19

drugs and and all of that stuff um

00:17:22

and yeah so

00:17:24

my parents are of

00:17:26

a very uh my dad's from greymouth

00:17:30

never uh never done any anything out of

00:17:32

line uh my mom's from a super christian

00:17:35

family and um

00:17:37

so their little their little boy uh

00:17:39

smoking weed and coming home stone for

00:17:41

dinner was uh

00:17:43

i may as well have been the devil

00:17:45

himself

00:17:46

um and the fact that i would do that

00:17:49

every night

00:17:51

with without fail how old were you then

00:17:53

i would have been 15.

00:17:55

yeah yeah so

00:17:56

i was just blitzed off my mind because

00:18:00

life for me was just very painful so it

00:18:02

was like a bit of a twisted paradox

00:18:04

really like i was feeling so much pain

00:18:06

that like smoking weed with my friends

00:18:08

was the only way to numb it out but

00:18:10

obviously that didn't work well at home

00:18:12

so

00:18:13

push lead to shove at home and um

00:18:15

basically i

00:18:17

with my other sisters they have uh their

00:18:20

own sort of mental health issues and

00:18:21

stuff um over the years and our family

00:18:24

home just became a war zone essentially

00:18:27

me being a little [ __ ] i was on

00:18:28

computers trying to hack people and just

00:18:31

i was just

00:18:32

i was a little [ __ ] basically and so

00:18:34

they kicked me off to boarding school

00:18:37

i basically didn't really talk to my

00:18:39

family for

00:18:41

because my sisters hated me as well so

00:18:43

going on going on three or four years uh

00:18:46

i didn't really talk to my family and so

00:18:48

being in that angsty

00:18:49

phase of of being a teenager and being a

00:18:52

songwriter um when i went to ed

00:18:54

sheeran's show and saw that um this dude

00:18:58

dressed like a

00:19:00

like kind of like i was dressing and

00:19:02

yeah just a hoodie and

00:19:03

jeans or cargo shorts or whatever

00:19:05

rocking up with his guitar and this

00:19:06

little pedal just like blowing away an

00:19:09

arena i was like

00:19:10

you know what like

00:19:12

i think this is what i want to do i want

00:19:14

to and like my motivation came from the

00:19:17

wrong place like i wanted to prove

00:19:19

everyone at school

00:19:20

[ __ ] you it might my whole family [ __ ]

00:19:23

you and so

00:19:25

obviously that's not the greatest

00:19:27

uh energy behind your motivation but

00:19:29

that's what it was for me for a long

00:19:30

time no no i i disagree i think i think

00:19:33

that's good if like if that's if that's

00:19:35

what it takes to put a fire under you

00:19:37

that's that was the attitude that i had

00:19:38

for a very long time was i'm just going

00:19:40

to prove everyone wrong i'm going to go

00:19:42

in and do the most uncomfortable [ __ ]

00:19:44

ever and it was uncomfortable you know

00:19:47

like so

00:19:48

i uh

00:19:49

i was kicked out of home um

00:19:51

and i was working as a car groomer like

00:19:53

you said uh in

00:19:55

in glendenness which is like not the

00:19:57

nicest place um and definitely wasn't at

00:19:59

the time as well um and so

00:20:02

my flatmate at the time was a x uh ex

00:20:07

very hard drug addict and so he saw my

00:20:10

uh he saw my

00:20:12

weed in my room

00:20:14

didn't like it um he threatened to kick

00:20:17

me out and so

00:20:19

i was like you know what like now's the

00:20:20

time to do it now now's the [ __ ] time

00:20:23

uh everyone hates me

00:20:25

um

00:20:26

i've got

00:20:27

enough to go over to the uk

00:20:30

i'm just gonna go and [ __ ] do it and

00:20:32

so i went over there and

00:20:34

again that was his whole own journey

00:20:36

that i could talk about for hours but um

00:20:39

but yeah it was a crazy up and down

00:20:41

journey but i think the one thing

00:20:44

you know obviously as you're growing and

00:20:46

all these crazy things are happening to

00:20:47

you because you're thrusting yourself

00:20:49

into this crazy world

00:20:51

like i i think the one thing that kept

00:20:53

it together was just

00:20:55

yeah that sort of motivation to just say

00:20:57

[ __ ] you to everyone they doubted me

00:20:59

yeah yeah yeah yeah far out what a story

00:21:02

yeah yeah your parents must be so

00:21:04

relieved now like

00:21:06

i think they are

00:21:07

i think they are i think they're the

00:21:08

boy's going to be a heroin addict or

00:21:10

something like ending up in jail but you

00:21:12

know they uh

00:21:14

it took them a long time to get it even

00:21:16

even when um

00:21:18

i'd signed my record deal uh they didn't

00:21:20

understand what that meant i'm making

00:21:22

like they're not like amish people are

00:21:24

making them out to sound like they're

00:21:25

saying oh no they're just normal like

00:21:28

provincial regional new zealanders it's

00:21:30

uh yeah it's probably weird having your

00:21:32

son become a pop star yeah and so so

00:21:33

they didn't understand what that meant

00:21:35

and so we didn't really start like

00:21:37

repairing our or i didn't really start

00:21:39

repairing my my bond with my my dad and

00:21:42

my mum my sisters until

00:21:44

move on came out as the as the first

00:21:46

single because they could tangibly see

00:21:48

it and hear it on the radio that oh [ __ ]

00:21:50

that's

00:21:51

that's absolutely yeah exactly so that's

00:21:54

when things started to change is when um

00:21:56

so yeah i got back from the uk and um

00:21:59

and europe and

00:22:01

like i said that's a whole other journey

00:22:02

and there's a million people that saved

00:22:04

my ass and

00:22:05

and helped me out along the way but yeah

00:22:07

like once i came back from that and they

00:22:09

started to see that that's when um

00:22:13

yeah a lot a lot of the negativity in

00:22:15

that sort of oh [ __ ] you i'm going to

00:22:17

prove everyone wrong attitude sort of

00:22:19

started to

00:22:20

morph into

00:22:22

something else um

00:22:24

which

00:22:25

you know the ego kind of got bigger

00:22:27

whatever in the end but um

00:22:29

it was a nice transition phase into the

00:22:31

phase that i i'm in today which i'm i'm

00:22:33

super happy with i haven't thought about

00:22:35

anyone at school for a very long time

00:22:37

you know i mean like um have any of them

00:22:39

tried to hit you up oh yeah you're like

00:22:42

yeah but i mean it's it's it's all it's

00:22:44

no negative you know but it's just um

00:22:47

yeah i'm just in a different place it's

00:22:48

real funny because yeah like i said at

00:22:50

the start it was very uh

00:22:52

almost a little bit of a dark motivation

00:22:54

and then once you got it all

00:22:56

um

00:22:57

you know

00:22:58

thrusting a young man into fame and

00:22:59

success and

00:23:01

and girls and money and

00:23:03

rock star drugs and all of that [ __ ]

00:23:05

like then that's a whole nother crazy

00:23:07

phase and and to get out of

00:23:10

that and sort of start really focusing

00:23:12

on the inner has yeah been nice and

00:23:14

obviously running really helps with that

00:23:16

too yeah how is your mental health has

00:23:18

you i mean i mean there must be some

00:23:19

dark times when you're in the uk i'm

00:23:20

guessing and you're sort of um you're

00:23:22

basking and then you're using that that

00:23:23

busking money to pay for that night's

00:23:24

accommodation and a hostel like that

00:23:26

must have been you know london and

00:23:28

winter is a grim place yeah i mean when

00:23:30

i was there like honestly my mental

00:23:32

health was great like yeah it was

00:23:36

just me against the world and so that

00:23:39

was enough to get me out of bed every

00:23:40

day and properly motivated to go like oh

00:23:43

i'm just

00:23:44

not gonna stop until until this happens

00:23:46

so that was uh um it's almost like

00:23:49

ignorance is bliss kind of thing you

00:23:50

know like i feel young and dumb yeah

00:23:53

really really and uh i

00:23:56

the at that stage the goal was record

00:23:59

deal record deal or bust like i don't

00:24:01

care if i have to go to tanzania to to

00:24:04

sign a record deal i'm going to sign a

00:24:05

record deal

00:24:06

and um

00:24:07

yeah so so

00:24:10

mental health then wasn't really a

00:24:11

problem like i was so driven

00:24:15

um you know like

00:24:17

i mean i was so gross that there was no

00:24:19

there's no no what do you mean you're so

00:24:21

great i was ugly and fat and everything

00:24:23

so there's no time for girls come on

00:24:25

girls girls didn't want me back then um

00:24:28

so so like i was very focused and very

00:24:31

and life was like good and then

00:24:34

yeah i think uh

00:24:36

for me the mental health issues really

00:24:38

started

00:24:39

um happening sort of in that next phase

00:24:42

of

00:24:43

um

00:24:44

all the all the fame and things like

00:24:45

starting to work out uh

00:24:48

when you realize that it's

00:24:50

it's not what you've thought it was

00:24:52

going to be like the first um you know

00:24:54

because you're like a young kid who's

00:24:56

just been broken homeless and now you

00:24:59

get to play gigs and or girls are

00:25:01

throwing themselves at you it's like

00:25:03

it's not it's it's a very easy place to

00:25:06

um for that moral line to sort of it's a

00:25:09

candy store

00:25:11

absolutely and and you know i'm 19. i've

00:25:14

probably slept with one girl

00:25:17

two girls and

00:25:19

you know it starts happening for for a

00:25:21

young man and and it's and it's very

00:25:23

exciting but

00:25:24

there you you do it enough and you

00:25:27

realize

00:25:29

these people aren't here for me

00:25:31

and and that's a very sobering

00:25:33

realization and a very

00:25:35

massive one for me was like oh [ __ ] i'm

00:25:37

just a notch in all these people's

00:25:39

ballots they don't give a [ __ ] about me

00:25:42

and so that that was you're like a

00:25:44

trophy yeah essentially and um i think

00:25:48

oh poor mitch being used for his body

00:25:50

yeah

00:25:52

no no no i'm joking i i actually had an

00:25:54

experience recently like i was like damn

00:25:57

and yeah i think for me that that

00:25:59

realization that was the big mental

00:26:01

health sort of battle was like okay so

00:26:04

your ideal of what you you thought this

00:26:07

was going to be your whole life you you

00:26:09

got there like congratulations you you

00:26:11

did what you never thought you were

00:26:12

gonna do but the reality of the

00:26:14

situation is

00:26:16

uh you know like i'm sure every young

00:26:18

dude thinks that a rock star is

00:26:21

i did thinks that all your problems are

00:26:23

going to be solved

00:26:25

you know

00:26:26

you you'll make a bunch of money and

00:26:28

everyone loves you and and and that's it

00:26:31

but

00:26:32

yeah the reality is a lot different and

00:26:34

and being a songwriter being

00:26:36

introspective there's a lot of uh

00:26:38

there's a lot of inner dialogue and

00:26:40

battle about

00:26:42

who do you really want to be do you want

00:26:44

to be mr

00:26:47

looks like the man to the world but but

00:26:49

in reality you're at home alone and

00:26:51

you're miserable

00:26:52

or do you really want to take a hard

00:26:54

look at yourself and the things you

00:26:55

don't like about yourself work on them

00:26:57

and then sort of

00:26:59

hope and trust that everything's going

00:27:00

to be a lot more wholesome and a lot

00:27:03

more fulfilling and authentic authentic

00:27:05

absolutely yeah yeah yeah so yeah i mean

00:27:08

i mean

00:27:09

i've had a lot of battles recently uh

00:27:11

just personal [ __ ] just ups and downs of

00:27:14

of life but and generally speaking like

00:27:16

a

00:27:17

in a good place now but you know how it

00:27:19

goes it's it's always like this but

00:27:21

that's sort of the fun of it yeah it's a

00:27:22

constantly moving sort of thing isn't it

00:27:24

it's tough how old are you now 26. yes i

00:27:28

reckon i didn't have any mental health

00:27:29

stuff going on until probably um

00:27:31

probably like 40. and then there's just

00:27:33

like a bunch of life stuff that um i

00:27:35

probably didn't address as thoroughly as

00:27:36

what i should have you know and it's um

00:27:39

it's almost like

00:27:40

if say something bad happens it's like a

00:27:42

dirty piece of like clothing that you

00:27:44

want to the gym and you stuff it in that

00:27:46

bag and then you put another piece in

00:27:47

the bag and that eventually that the

00:27:49

smell of that bag is gonna come back and

00:27:50

it's gonna it's gonna wreak i'm pretty

00:27:52

sure i've literally got that situation

00:27:53

going on right now no but i i totally

00:27:56

agree i totally agree bro and and you

00:27:58

know i think

00:28:00

uh it's a bit of a blessing and a curse

00:28:01

for me to have such an introspective and

00:28:04

sensitive sort of way of approaching

00:28:06

life but i'm really grateful that i can

00:28:09

like be aware of these things and face

00:28:12

them head-on because

00:28:13

yeah that bag can get real damn smelly

00:28:16

you know what i mean and if you don't

00:28:18

yeah if you don't if you don't wash

00:28:20

those clothes it's um one day it just

00:28:22

gets so smelly that everyone can smell

00:28:24

it yeah one one thing which i um i fully

00:28:27

admire about you and it's um you know

00:28:29

you've got this at a young age and i'm

00:28:30

still not quite there yet it's almost

00:28:32

like you're good at spotting triggers

00:28:34

like uh you've been off social media for

00:28:36

a while um because you're i'm guessing

00:28:38

you're like okay my mental health isn't

00:28:40

where i want it to be this is toxic i'm

00:28:42

gonna get off it whereas me it's like i

00:28:44

know it's bad but i'll just keep doing

00:28:46

it keep mindlessly scrolling for hours

00:28:49

on here yeah yeah well i mean

00:28:51

i i guess that's it is just kind of

00:28:54

like to spot the triggers right you have

00:28:56

to have gone through that before like

00:28:59

for me it was like i've spent so many

00:29:01

hours i even have a song coming out

00:29:03

about it um so many hours scrolling and

00:29:07

so many i was feeling miserable that

00:29:09

i've like identified like hey like

00:29:12

you're doing this thing it's making you

00:29:13

feel miserable like

00:29:15

are

00:29:16

are you going to keep doing it or are

00:29:17

you going to stop and

00:29:19

it's we all know it's hard to stop like

00:29:21

it's [ __ ] hard to stop it's dopamine

00:29:23

we're all literally addicted i found

00:29:26

like after a couple weeks it got a lot

00:29:28

easier but i went through a pretty rough

00:29:31

breakup and it was it was all i needed

00:29:34

to just get me over that line you know

00:29:36

like i was like you know what well

00:29:38

um if i don't need to be

00:29:41

impressing anyone or like

00:29:43

keeping up a sort of image and if i'm

00:29:45

not releasing any music right now or

00:29:47

touring like

00:29:49

i just need to look after myself like

00:29:51

because

00:29:53

yeah i think

00:29:54

i sort of view instagram and social

00:29:57

media as like it's a world and it's

00:29:59

definitely a world and it's definitely a

00:30:02

people like to call it fake or whatever

00:30:03

and it is in some ways but it's

00:30:06

definitely real world it definitely

00:30:07

[ __ ] exists yes um but that's just

00:30:10

that well we got the real world too and

00:30:12

i just really wanted to

00:30:14

focus on the real world for a bit

00:30:16

because

00:30:18

in in reality

00:30:20

well at least how i look at it all

00:30:21

instagram and and facebook

00:30:23

uh is is just like a

00:30:27

comparison yeah like and without trying

00:30:29

to put negative connotations on anything

00:30:31

like it's just a

00:30:32

oh i'm gonna look at you and

00:30:34

like yeah i just couldn't do it i just

00:30:37

couldn't do it anymore because

00:30:40

you know i i think i figure in life like

00:30:42

i've had so much like [ __ ] up crazy

00:30:45

[ __ ] happen to me and i'm really good at

00:30:46

dealing with it

00:30:48

but for some reason our woman just

00:30:51

[ __ ] break my heart so much is that

00:30:54

right you just fall in love or yeah well

00:30:57

oh

00:30:58

it's not that i fall in love with with

00:30:59

everyone but like when i fall in love

00:31:01

i'm just so hard whoa

00:31:04

you know

00:31:04

so i i figured that like

00:31:08

yeah it was all i needed in that time

00:31:10

like it was just like

00:31:12

it was beyond the line of um dealable

00:31:15

and undealable so

00:31:17

i just shut it off and really focused on

00:31:21

me is so cliche but you know like i i've

00:31:23

been

00:31:24

i always find inspiration from fighters

00:31:26

and

00:31:27

there's this guy

00:31:29

who just won the

00:31:30

lightweight boxing title from australia

00:31:32

called george cambosis and i just

00:31:34

watched all of his [ __ ]

00:31:35

around this time where i was you know

00:31:38

getting off social media and

00:31:40

and sort of starting to move forward

00:31:42

from this relationship

00:31:43

and he would just talk about

00:31:46

hard work and discipline and purpose and

00:31:50

he works out three times a day and i

00:31:52

just said

00:31:53

[ __ ] it i'm gonna do what this

00:31:54

[ __ ] does i'm gonna work out

00:31:56

three times a day and

00:31:58

it's it's been really good as you know

00:32:00

like the endorphins and

00:32:03

and i think for me staying distracted is

00:32:05

a key for my mental health like if i sit

00:32:08

around at home all day and i think about

00:32:09

things i'm i'm literally a professional

00:32:11

overthinker like

00:32:13

so

00:32:14

you've got to

00:32:15

pick and choose your times you know what

00:32:17

i mean and if you if you're going to go

00:32:19

hey i'm going to pick this four hours of

00:32:21

this day to write a song or essentially

00:32:23

overthink about something

00:32:26

you schedule it you know like schedule

00:32:27

your overthinking because otherwise if

00:32:30

it takes over my day

00:32:31

that's when um i just start falling down

00:32:34

into the hole again you know and and

00:32:36

yeah it's it's a lot harder to pick

00:32:38

yourself up

00:32:40

out of that hole than it is to just do

00:32:42

the right healthy things every day

00:32:44

i went to um therapy once in the um

00:32:46

i said to the therapist about the

00:32:48

overthinking thing she said when you

00:32:49

recognize you're doing it just ask

00:32:51

yourself is this helpful

00:32:53

and um i find that really good you sort

00:32:55

of reign yourself back in because it

00:32:57

never is helpful absolutely yeah when

00:32:59

you're aware that you're doing it then

00:33:00

you can stop it yeah and awareness is

00:33:02

everything i i think

00:33:04

for me

00:33:06

and my mental health journey as

00:33:08

as a whole and sort of i guess you know

00:33:11

being bundled into the advocate category

00:33:13

of sorts or activists like yeah mate

00:33:15

it's so good that you talk about it

00:33:16

really i mean i don't know how people

00:33:18

don't to be honest i had a radio

00:33:20

interview the other day and and and the

00:33:22

lady says oh you're so

00:33:24

vulnerable like

00:33:26

am i too vulnerable sorry no no

00:33:28

just just your authenticity but do you

00:33:30

think that comes because you're a

00:33:31

songwriter as well and you're good at

00:33:33

you're good at um communicating these

00:33:34

ideas in song form

00:33:36

yeah i think um i don't even know where

00:33:39

the songwriting came from to be

00:33:40

completely honest um i never really did

00:33:42

it growing up

00:33:44

um

00:33:45

it's but i always

00:33:48

felt within me that i'm i feel [ __ ] more

00:33:51

than your typical person like

00:33:54

we're hard on your sleep yeah and

00:33:55

rejection

00:33:57

in in any form has always been

00:34:00

the dagger of all daggers for me and

00:34:04

yeah i mean it's it's probably my life's

00:34:06

challenge you know like it's real hard

00:34:09

for me even to this day like i had a

00:34:11

thing

00:34:11

last week with a girl that just kind of

00:34:13

made no sense

00:34:15

like rejection wise and

00:34:17

for a couple days like even though it

00:34:18

shouldn't have it was just like

00:34:20

just felt like i was getting stabbed you

00:34:22

know and but i i think

00:34:24

what i'm trying to get out of i guess is

00:34:26

like

00:34:27

i'm aware of the fact that and i make

00:34:30

jokes about the fact that i am

00:34:32

the most oversensitive overthinking

00:34:36

uh for the lack of what i would get

00:34:38

called if i was a young boy hanging out

00:34:40

with other young boys a [ __ ]

00:34:43

i think it's your superpower exactly

00:34:45

that's what i'm trying to say if you

00:34:46

embrace that you know like

00:34:48

i see so many new zealand men that i

00:34:50

knew i know have a personality like mine

00:34:53

or a soul like mine that's bubbly and

00:34:56

and whatever but they're so

00:34:58

preconditioned to

00:35:00

uh either numbered out or hate that

00:35:03

about themselves you know what i mean i

00:35:05

think it's so wrong about new zealand

00:35:06

culture is like

00:35:08

you just gotta embrace your [ __ ]

00:35:10

weirdness you know what i mean because

00:35:11

like i feel like i see so many blokes my

00:35:14

age

00:35:14

they um i'm generalizing here and i got

00:35:17

nothing against like uh you know

00:35:20

blue collar workers or whatever but i

00:35:22

feel like i've seen so many of my mates

00:35:24

growing up who could have been brilliant

00:35:26

creative professionals

00:35:29

felt like they had to be forced into

00:35:30

being a builder or

00:35:32

a plumber because

00:35:34

like a traditional masculine role

00:35:36

because exactly because that's what a

00:35:38

man does and a man doesn't

00:35:41

sit down with another man and talk about

00:35:43

his mental health journey because that's

00:35:45

what [ __ ] do yeah and i i just think

00:35:48

that's um it's kind of like uh it's not

00:35:51

my main mission with this whole thing

00:35:52

but it's like a little side mission that

00:35:55

i really want to try and just you know i

00:35:57

i understand that as a new zealand well

00:36:00

quite unquote pop star like a lot of

00:36:03

women naturally will respect me more

00:36:04

than the men but if i can get the

00:36:06

respect of the men that's the message i

00:36:08

want to give to them is

00:36:09

man just be yourself you don't have to

00:36:11

be

00:36:12

freaking

00:36:14

the [ __ ]

00:36:15

stone hard [ __ ] dude with no emotions

00:36:18

because it's so suffering i have a

00:36:20

friend in southland and she's a she's a

00:36:22

farmer and

00:36:24

um i just remember her messaging me must

00:36:27

have been twice or three times in a year

00:36:29

being like

00:36:31

guys around

00:36:33

the farms down south are just they're

00:36:35

dying like they're then

00:36:37

and that's because

00:36:38

i i at least believe it's because

00:36:41

there's this stigma that

00:36:43

you can't talk to your mates about how

00:36:45

you feel and yeah

00:36:46

i mean i know i feel ten times better

00:36:48

like that you should probably [ __ ]

00:36:50

charge me for therapy bro

00:36:52

yeah

00:36:55

you're not talking about it and just

00:36:56

bottling it up that's why um yeah i

00:36:58

reckon that's why a lot of people end up

00:37:00

like taking their own life because

00:37:01

they're just so frustrated and they just

00:37:02

don't know but talking about it

00:37:04

definitely helps 100

00:37:05

yeah and you just i mean

00:37:07

you just got to find your ways of of

00:37:09

being comfortable with yourself and

00:37:11

how's your self-talk like is it negative

00:37:13

self-talk or are you quite kind on

00:37:14

yourself

00:37:15

i have my days i have my days where i to

00:37:18

talk to myself like i'm conor mcgregor

00:37:20

you're the [ __ ] man i like look in

00:37:22

the mirror i'm like you're the man

00:37:24

you're the man

00:37:26

and i literally do that

00:37:28

shamelessly um

00:37:31

and i probably 8 out of 10 days um conor

00:37:35

mcgregor yeah self-talk and those other

00:37:38

two days it's um what i've kind of found

00:37:41

is usually i can always bring myself

00:37:42

back to that positive self-talk because

00:37:45

when you break [ __ ] down

00:37:46

and problems in your life like i usually

00:37:48

find that like uh

00:37:50

90 of my my perceived problems are

00:37:53

actually out of my control so when you

00:37:54

it's like we were saying before if you

00:37:56

can uh sort of

00:37:58

step away from and go is this helpful or

00:38:00

do i need to be stressing about this and

00:38:01

if the answer is no

00:38:03

then you're the [ __ ] man you're the

00:38:05

[ __ ] man

00:38:07

you know

00:38:08

but um yeah like uh it's

00:38:11

that's basically it so it's so good it's

00:38:14

either brutal or

00:38:15

extremely arrogant i think

00:38:18

it's good of you to admit the um the

00:38:20

conor mcgregor thing because i think

00:38:21

that's um incredibly healthy like you

00:38:23

should be your biggest cheerleader and

00:38:25

it's forced you know what i mean you

00:38:27

fake it enough

00:38:30

yeah and i did this

00:38:32

i did this

00:38:34

same self talk when i was

00:38:36

in the basement of a german hostel

00:38:39

sleeping in a [ __ ] bowling alley um

00:38:43

i would look at the mirror and say the

00:38:44

same thing and i didn't [ __ ] believe

00:38:47

it

00:38:48

bro you're fat and ugly you've got

00:38:50

pimples all over your [ __ ] face yeah

00:38:52

you're awful

00:38:53

no one actually needed a bowling alley

00:38:54

you're a [ __ ] man you're the man

00:38:56

you're a man baby yeah i heard some um i

00:38:59

wish i could remember who it was it was

00:39:00

on a podcast um some lady wrote a book

00:39:02

about high-fiving the mirror every

00:39:04

morning yeah um

00:39:06

yeah

00:39:07

and it sounds it sounds arrogant but i

00:39:08

think what if people don't understand

00:39:11

the the

00:39:12

sort of the

00:39:14

psychology or philosophy behind it is

00:39:17

it's like

00:39:19

i don't look at myself every time i see

00:39:20

myself and go like oh you're the man

00:39:23

like no

00:39:25

the point behind it is it's just

00:39:28

essentially my own self battle with that

00:39:30

it's like you know do you want to step

00:39:32

up and and be a champion today well you

00:39:34

know what a champion would say when he

00:39:36

looks in the mirror i [ __ ] believe in

00:39:38

that guy yeah so yeah it's it's just uh

00:39:42

i just have fun with it i have a lot of

00:39:44

fun with it and that's really good

00:39:46

that's really powerful stuff

00:39:48

yeah i mean i i hope

00:39:49

it inspires someone to

00:39:51

look in the mirror and say you're the

00:39:53

[ __ ] man but just make sure no one

00:39:54

else is looking yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna

00:39:57

try and do that more because my yeah my

00:39:59

self-talk it can be terrible at times

00:40:00

i'm terrible and

00:40:02

sometimes i'll

00:40:03

catch myself doing it i'll rain myself

00:40:05

in and i think i would never speak to

00:40:07

another person like that hundreds i

00:40:09

would never

00:40:10

accept

00:40:11

another person speaking to me like that

00:40:13

hundred percent am i being so hard on

00:40:14

myself yeah no what's the quote no one

00:40:17

no one treats non-truthy worse than you

00:40:19

treat yourself

00:40:21

but yeah i i think if if you can find a

00:40:23

way to

00:40:25

identify like why why am i feeling like

00:40:27

that and then

00:40:29

pushing that into just force feeding it

00:40:32

into the into the fake it till you make

00:40:33

it yeah it just becomes habit but yeah i

00:40:36

guess like everyone has their days you

00:40:37

know what i mean and of course i do as

00:40:40

well like you know especially recently

00:40:42

it's it's just like that so yeah yeah i

00:40:44

think you

00:40:46

it's just discipline really isn't it at

00:40:47

the end of the day yeah i believe that

00:40:49

for sure what's your what's your

00:40:51

relationship like with weed at the

00:40:52

moment do you did you find when you

00:40:54

start training for a marathon you smoke

00:40:55

less or no probably more

00:40:58

probably more well i'm gonna i've gotta

00:41:00

make that likes to like say likes to

00:41:02

have have a joint and then go for a run

00:41:04

yeah well i'm that guy i'm that guy yeah

00:41:07

so i mean

00:41:08

me and weed have had a funny one um

00:41:11

i've always loved weed um it's always

00:41:14

just uh i've always felt it's got a hard

00:41:16

rap some on that team i won't go into

00:41:18

that too much but um

00:41:20

i've alwa i've never had a problem with

00:41:21

stopping

00:41:23

weed like so there's a few times when i

00:41:25

was younger and um i was just smoking

00:41:28

too much weed and it was just [ __ ]

00:41:30

obvious for everyone involved and got to

00:41:32

that stage and i was like you know what

00:41:33

i'm [ __ ] smoking too much we

00:41:35

stopped for a couple years and

00:41:37

kind of double dabbled a bit and um

00:41:39

yeah so my last girlfriend didn't like

00:41:42

weed but i was still smoking it but just

00:41:44

not around her right and so when what

00:41:46

were you being like super stealthy about

00:41:48

it like um you know i was i i've never

00:41:51

never lied about like i never lied about

00:41:53

it but like you know just didn't do it

00:41:54

like brazenly enough yeah stoners we

00:41:57

have our little tricks of the trade and

00:41:58

like you know um that's all i'll say

00:42:01

about it but you know you've got your

00:42:02

clear eyes and your deodorant and your

00:42:03

perfumes and and stuff but um

00:42:06

but yeah so when that ended um i tend to

00:42:11

i tend to like smoke a lot of weed and

00:42:12

when i'm feeling a lot of pain if it's

00:42:14

too much

00:42:16

this is not health advice you know i

00:42:18

mean like that's just kind of what i do

00:42:20

and um

00:42:22

i i just found

00:42:24

when i'm stoned and i'm running i just

00:42:27

i go into that meditative state a lot

00:42:29

easier and

00:42:30

i'm i can just i feel alive and i feel

00:42:34

the blood coursing through me and the

00:42:35

impact on on

00:42:37

on the joints which is

00:42:39

um probably not going to be well in 20

00:42:40

years but you know i like that feeling

00:42:42

now and um

00:42:44

yeah i

00:42:46

it's always helped me creatively it's

00:42:48

always helped me

00:42:49

with depression and anxiety and wow

00:42:52

that's amazing because

00:42:54

most health experts would probably say

00:42:56

it's going to make you depressed yeah oh

00:42:58

yeah

00:42:59

but if it works for you then then

00:43:01

absolutely and like i said you know i'm

00:43:02

not not

00:43:04

advocating i'm not saying people should

00:43:06

follow on

00:43:07

my daily routine but um you you didn't

00:43:10

have one before the auckland marathon

00:43:12

did you yeah i did yeah yeah so you've

00:43:14

been the only guy there yeah yeah hi yes

00:43:19

before you even start that was quite

00:43:20

funny so like

00:43:21

if we go back to my uh toilet story

00:43:24

um

00:43:25

mum's like mom's like in the car waiting

00:43:29

and

00:43:30

instead of taking a number two

00:43:35

i went and went and packed a bomb

00:43:37

and

00:43:38

um and

00:43:40

and so i went in the car and my mom

00:43:43

have you been smoking already i was like

00:43:46

yeah like i don't i don't run if i'm not

00:43:49

stoned to be completely honest but i

00:43:51

just love

00:43:52

that feeling of just

00:43:54

getting away from myself because like i

00:43:56

said so

00:43:57

um

00:43:58

as people can probably tell them

00:44:00

it's a million miles an hour up top so

00:44:03

any chance to get in that state of um

00:44:06

you know i i don't like being adhd like

00:44:08

i don't i don't enjoy it so are you are

00:44:10

you diagnosed yeah yeah so i i

00:44:14

i do everything i can to

00:44:16

get in that state of um

00:44:19

i'll just

00:44:20

whoosh you know and yeah i do love a

00:44:23

lot of a little uh pre-run toke that's

00:44:25

amazing

00:44:28

unbelievable i haven't i haven't had any

00:44:30

for probably like three or four months

00:44:31

just because last time last time i had

00:44:33

some i had a

00:44:34

i had like a panic attack like i was

00:44:37

overthinking things in a in a really bad

00:44:39

way and it made me um

00:44:41

it made me sad in a way about the last

00:44:42

referendum because if you go to a store

00:44:44

in like la or somewhere or somewhere

00:44:45

it's um legalized

00:44:47

they'll ask you what you want like do

00:44:48

you want something to zone out you want

00:44:50

something that's going to help you focus

00:44:51

yeah you want something that's going to

00:44:52

help you run the marathon but yeah you

00:44:54

just buy a buy a bag and you're not sure

00:44:56

what you're getting the best day yeah

00:44:57

that's um that's an interesting

00:44:59

conversation to have yeah because

00:45:01

i mean obviously with my interest in it

00:45:03

and stuff like i've been to america and

00:45:05

see how how it operates there and yeah i

00:45:08

mean it's a it's a bit of a potluck

00:45:10

dinner here right you just

00:45:12

well you literally put luck yeah

00:45:14

literally yeah um but you know what you

00:45:17

oh i want to go to sleep and then you go

00:45:19

to your guy and then he gives you some

00:45:20

[ __ ] that makes you overthink cool yeah

00:45:23

jeez you um you completely defy

00:45:27

the um the sort of stereotype any

00:45:29

non-smoker has about a stoner like i'm

00:45:30

sitting in front of you now you're fit

00:45:32

you're buffed

00:45:34

you your skin's glowing

00:45:36

you're motivated you're energized

00:45:38

uh yeah i think that's been a i mean

00:45:41

like i said with my family story growing

00:45:43

up and

00:45:44

it's always been something for me that i

00:45:46

just i've never understood i i think i

00:45:49

can

00:45:50

i can understand how people

00:45:53

uh that are unmotivated well that's a

00:45:54

very loud hose yeah um there's um is it

00:45:57

a horse i was wondering if water

00:45:59

blasting yeah water blasting going on

00:46:01

outside so i i think um yeah for me it's

00:46:04

always i've never got it but i can

00:46:06

understand how

00:46:08

people like they'll get real faded or

00:46:09

whatever and they'll like [ __ ] eat

00:46:12

some pies and

00:46:13

like i i get that but

00:46:16

it's um you sort of get it's like riding

00:46:19

a bike you get good at smoking weed

00:46:21

so like event eventually you're like

00:46:25

maybe i shouldn't just sit on my fat ass

00:46:27

all day getting [ __ ] blazed eating

00:46:29

cheetos

00:46:30

i like being high

00:46:32

but maybe i should

00:46:34

do something

00:46:35

you know it's like when you make that

00:46:37

switch mentally of like

00:46:39

this is just something i use to make

00:46:42

things a little better but i i

00:46:44

i still get my day done i still work out

00:46:47

three times a day i still write songs i

00:46:48

still

00:46:50

still call my mom still you know like

00:46:52

it's

00:46:53

i i think it all it's all up here and

00:46:55

and it's all down to the individual but

00:46:58

i love i love being

00:47:00

that anti

00:47:01

stereotype because i don't have to force

00:47:04

it down people's throats like if people

00:47:06

know me and they know that i enjoy

00:47:08

smoking weed or just i mean you know

00:47:12

eating weed or whatever whatever

00:47:14

whatever you want

00:47:15

um

00:47:16

i just like to be the example rather

00:47:18

than be like hey well you know like i

00:47:20

actually work out quite a bit all right

00:47:22

actually i'm actually quite motivated

00:47:24

like people will see it and i think

00:47:26

naturally slowly

00:47:28

it might take two three generations but

00:47:30

hopefully that stigma will disappear

00:47:31

because

00:47:32

yeah i get branded like that all the

00:47:34

time you know and like um

00:47:36

if you go to i try and be professional

00:47:39

and and you know if i'm doing something

00:47:40

like a like important like yeah

00:47:43

of course yeah um but

00:47:45

i think it's quite brave of you to talk

00:47:46

about it so openly so yeah i've got a

00:47:48

lot of mates who are you know high

00:47:49

achieving a types great jobs and stuff

00:47:52

and they smoke weed but they'd never

00:47:53

admit it to anyone because you're just

00:47:54

for fear of i don't know i suppose like

00:47:57

that's that stigma we're talking about

00:47:58

hey yeah and i get it um i guess i just

00:48:01

got a [ __ ] cool job yeah i'm lucky

00:48:04

yeah

00:48:05

yeah amazing and where are things up

00:48:06

with the music we're thinking because

00:48:08

music's like a psychical thing isn't it

00:48:09

you have an album you tour it you are

00:48:11

you in the writing phase the recording

00:48:12

fast

00:48:13

in the final eye final stages of the

00:48:17

recording phase

00:48:19

i could go on here and slag off my

00:48:20

record label so the cows come home like

00:48:23

the last three years of my life due to

00:48:26

my australian record label has been hell

00:48:28

on earth absolute hell on earth um

00:48:31

i haven't been able to like publicly say

00:48:33

anything but

00:48:34

it's i've been quite jaded with music

00:48:37

lately to be honest like not music love

00:48:39

music just the politics behind the

00:48:41

industry right yeah and so

00:48:43

we've finally got to a stage where um

00:48:46

new single coming out um which is

00:48:48

sounding amazing and i'm really happy

00:48:50

with it because uh the last single i

00:48:52

didn't want to release it was the label

00:48:53

force forced it out the last one that's

00:48:55

um be somebody somebody that's a great

00:48:57

song though thanks bro

00:48:59

why didn't why don't you want to release

00:49:00

that i just felt like it was not a

00:49:02

single um and it was just a it's not the

00:49:06

vibe i wanted to be giving off in a

00:49:07

pandemic you know like oh everything's

00:49:09

so sad it's like

00:49:11

no you want to be a bit of light you

00:49:12

know so this one's very upbeat and and

00:49:16

the album is really fun yeah um

00:49:18

despite you know all the crazy stuff

00:49:20

that's happened but

00:49:21

yeah it's um it's been very frustrating

00:49:24

and and my uh

00:49:25

like uh the new zealand label and and as

00:49:28

you know kim bosher just an absolute

00:49:30

legend

00:49:31

sony absolute legend absolute queen

00:49:34

we uh unfortunately got caught up with

00:49:36

the another international label and it's

00:49:38

just been really tough but uh

00:49:41

any uh sort of opportunity to learn big

00:49:43

lessons in life without having them on

00:49:46

the [ __ ] front page of the paper as

00:49:48

as a very big one yeah you hear so much

00:49:51

bad stuff about record labels

00:49:53

is the contract just too tight too

00:49:54

restrictive or are you being ripped off

00:49:56

what's the

00:49:57

yeah i mean there's no two ways about it

00:49:59

i'm

00:50:00

i'm just getting ripped the [ __ ] off um

00:50:04

like

00:50:06

i signed my deal when i was homeless uh

00:50:09

i didn't have a

00:50:10

manager they knew they were [ __ ] me

00:50:13

like but to be perfectly honest um but i

00:50:16

didn't because like i said at that time

00:50:17

in my life goal number one goal number

00:50:20

two to 5000 was record deal just get a

00:50:24

[ __ ] record deal and we'll worry

00:50:25

about the rest

00:50:27

because that's why they get people to

00:50:28

sign their life away exactly that's

00:50:30

exactly it so no one really gets out of

00:50:32

their first deal um

00:50:35

my first deal was for three albums

00:50:37

um basically there's an a gentleman's

00:50:40

agreement between

00:50:42

my label and i right now that because of

00:50:44

the [ __ ] around that they did for the

00:50:46

last three and a half years that will

00:50:48

cut one album off

00:50:49

and i'll release this album and and be a

00:50:52

free agent

00:50:53

you're invited to that party put it that

00:50:55

way i'm gonna be [ __ ] losing my mind

00:50:57

that night because

00:50:59

yeah it's been it's now been six years

00:51:02

of

00:51:03

of just it's so frustrating if i could

00:51:06

paint it out as simple as i can for

00:51:08

someone who's listening it's

00:51:11

it started off from day one i

00:51:13

had songs ready to go ready to be

00:51:15

released

00:51:17

october

00:51:18

release date becomes

00:51:20

november becomes december

00:51:22

um that was the first one and i thought

00:51:24

oh two months like

00:51:26

this isn't too bad if i can live with

00:51:28

two month delays

00:51:30

next um next phase of releases

00:51:34

march turns into april turns into

00:51:36

december turns into the next september

00:51:38

and so

00:51:39

that's like a year and a half of

00:51:41

shagging around and then now since then

00:51:45

it's been another three years of just

00:51:47

waiting and waiting and

00:51:48

i

00:51:50

the thing is the way i look at it is i

00:51:52

have 200 million streams i've made you a

00:51:54

[ __ ] bunch of money yeah

00:51:56

i've made zero dollars and zero cents

00:51:57

from them zero dollars and zero cents so

00:51:59

all my money comes from playing shows um

00:52:02

every every single cent so

00:52:05

basically um once i'm out of this deal

00:52:08

like i'll be able to make money off my

00:52:11

music again and how are you coping

00:52:14

financially obviously with um the

00:52:15

inability to tour at the moment yeah

00:52:17

it's tough it's been real tough um

00:52:20

i was lucky i got to play one gig over

00:52:22

summer which will um

00:52:24

i mean

00:52:25

keep me off the streets essentially but

00:52:27

yeah it's been really tough um

00:52:29

going into

00:52:30

well just before covert um sunday

00:52:33

morning was

00:52:34

really working it was looking like it

00:52:35

was going to start working overseas as

00:52:37

well and then covered

00:52:39

thanks man and and covert head and it

00:52:41

just uh yeah it was like a nuclear bomb

00:52:43

and just since then um i think i've

00:52:46

played two gigs or three gigs maybe and

00:52:48

um that's the only money i've been able

00:52:51

to make and

00:52:52

almost going on two and a half years now

00:52:54

so it's it's tough because yeah like i

00:52:57

was really catching momentum and would

00:52:59

have been in a position to hopefully be

00:53:01

you know looking at getting a house in

00:53:02

the next year or two and now i'm

00:53:06

now i've there'll be a lot of probably

00:53:08

fast food workers that have

00:53:10

the same or more more money than i do i

00:53:14

remember getting put on benzodiazepines

00:53:16

just uh just after i signed my record

00:53:18

deal what is that like an antidepressant

00:53:21

it's like xanax

00:53:22

anti-anxieties um because i was having

00:53:24

panic attacks i didn't i thought i was

00:53:26

having harder shoes but um

00:53:29

it was because i just saw my record deal

00:53:32

and we hadn't had any songs out yet but

00:53:34

i was so paralyzed with anxiety that i

00:53:36

was going to be

00:53:37

another one of those new zealand

00:53:41

flash in the pan heard of them once one

00:53:43

song on the radio

00:53:44

guys and that it was my anxiety about

00:53:47

that was so bad about my legacy and my

00:53:49

vision that i got hooked on these

00:53:51

[ __ ] awful little drugs so as

00:53:55

i'm lucky but there's

00:53:57

there's definitely going to be some

00:53:58

unlucky ones

00:53:59

would that be the worst thing in the

00:54:00

world being a winner wonder

00:54:02

i mean it depends how big uh defends

00:54:05

like

00:54:06

we're talking new zealand one hit wonder

00:54:08

definitely not yeah yeah um but if we're

00:54:10

talking um

00:54:12

yeah what's what's good if they're never

00:54:13

gonna give you up oh yeah

00:54:15

like i i can't live with that

00:54:17

um

00:54:18

yeah it's i don't know i think all jokes

00:54:21

aside it would be hard for me because uh

00:54:24

i i want to be remembered as

00:54:26

someone that that can tell stories and

00:54:29

not just not just have a a moment yeah i

00:54:32

think you're on track thanks sunday

00:54:34

morning whatever that's a great song is

00:54:35

that is that the the biggest song you've

00:54:37

ever written in terms of commercial

00:54:38

success no no bright blue skies uh

00:54:42

probably skies went uh platinum in

00:54:44

australia without any radio um

00:54:49

and i think it went gold and sweet and i

00:54:50

think it's 60 million streams or

00:54:52

something it's so it's a that's that i

00:54:54

don't need a god damn thing from anyone

00:54:56

there wasn't all right yes that's a tune

00:54:58

yeah it's um

00:55:00

it's crazy when you can't really fathom

00:55:02

those numbers to be honest like oh my

00:55:03

god when you really think about the

00:55:06

scale of it it's quite humbling you know

00:55:08

there's so

00:55:09

for you it's for me it's just a

00:55:13

a moment being emotional in a room

00:55:16

writing a song

00:55:17

and then the next minute

00:55:19

you know i get messages from i got a

00:55:21

message from my mate who's in costa rica

00:55:23

saying saying [ __ ] oh he was in spain

00:55:26

a few months ago saying i was on the

00:55:28

coast of spain and heard your song

00:55:30

getting played in the cafe and just

00:55:32

wow that's cool whoa yeah

00:55:35

you really can't fathom it because

00:55:37

you're always so just focused on the

00:55:38

next the next the next so

00:55:40

yeah

00:55:41

still mind-blowing to this day yeah do

00:55:43

you ever take a moment to pause pause

00:55:45

and reflect and think about what you've

00:55:46

done or you just constantly

00:55:49

eyes forward i really

00:55:51

i hate to

00:55:52

this is probably a bit of a

00:55:55

textbook answer but um

00:55:57

i i really didn't until

00:56:00

um

00:56:01

everything was forced to stop with

00:56:02

covert like

00:56:04

i

00:56:05

i would have been

00:56:07

i feel for my first girlfriend because i

00:56:10

just would have been a [ __ ] pain in

00:56:12

the ass deal what's next what's next

00:56:14

what's next oh song songs number one on

00:56:16

radio what's better than number one

00:56:18

what's next what's next what's next and

00:56:21

that was

00:56:23

my

00:56:24

i thought that was going to be my

00:56:25

superpower that bought me above everyone

00:56:27

else in the global sphere just that

00:56:29

drive yeah just the drive out and out

00:56:31

perseverance and

00:56:32

and drive and

00:56:34

i thought that was my

00:56:35

that was my number one strong suit and

00:56:37

then when

00:56:38

all this label crap happened and i'm

00:56:41

basically sat in an apartment alone in

00:56:43

australia for nine months not able to do

00:56:45

anything yeah that'll make you [ __ ]

00:56:47

take stock pretty quick so

00:56:49

that was that was really good for me in

00:56:51

that and

00:56:53

like it sort of led me

00:56:55

to the place where i got to about six

00:56:57

months ago where i was ready to go

00:57:00

you know what social media all of this

00:57:03

just not for me right now

00:57:05

yeah

00:57:06

yeah was it hard i've i feel like social

00:57:08

media instagram in particular is

00:57:10

probably one of my worst addictions yeah

00:57:12

and i i

00:57:13

i'd say it's

00:57:15

it's

00:57:16

95 plus percent of the world too it's

00:57:19

it's it's everywhere yeah it

00:57:21

i it was hard

00:57:23

for a couple weeks it's just muscle

00:57:25

memory i found you know like you you get

00:57:27

out you've got a headphone uh whatever

00:57:29

your little thing to get to instagram is

00:57:31

there two right swipes and a click up

00:57:33

top or whatever and you're there and and

00:57:35

you're back in your in dopamine land as

00:57:38

but i found after two weeks i just

00:57:40

barely thought about it you know um but

00:57:42

that was probably

00:57:44

made a bit easier for me to

00:57:46

like with the motivation to not want to

00:57:47

see my ex-girlfriend or all of your

00:57:49

friends on instagram and stuff so yeah

00:57:51

um

00:57:52

yeah see that's another thing i think

00:57:54

would be harder for you like my my dms

00:57:56

are very boring mitch james dms i'm sure

00:57:58

there's a lot of exciting stuff going on

00:58:00

there ah

00:58:02

but you you want to hear the truth about

00:58:04

this tom and this is the cold hard truth

00:58:06

yeah and it goes to bet what we were

00:58:08

talking about before

00:58:10

um

00:58:12

it's real fun after a show it's

00:58:15

beautiful girls top to bottom

00:58:18

they don't message you the day after the

00:58:20

show they message you the night of the

00:58:22

show and then i message you the day

00:58:23

before the show

00:58:26

it's not about

00:58:27

wanting to

00:58:29

get married to a

00:58:30

deep insensitive and very attractive

00:58:32

young singer-songwriter

00:58:34

it's it's about getting a notch on their

00:58:36

belt for the night and bragging to their

00:58:37

friends yeah so like

00:58:39

yeah what is that just the sex appeal

00:58:41

from seeing you on stage do you think so

00:58:42

there's there's something very

00:58:44

very sexy about seeing someone on stage

00:58:46

yeah

00:58:47

maybe

00:58:48

and or maybe it's just a it's just an

00:58:50

out and out

00:58:52

brag brag off you know and and

00:58:56

that's that i used to be happy

00:58:59

you were okay with in the beginning i

00:59:00

was okay with that at the beginning you

00:59:02

know

00:59:02

uh i'm not okay with that anymore i i'm

00:59:06

you're deeper than that i'm searching

00:59:07

for i'm searching for for the woman that

00:59:10

i would like want to be with for the

00:59:11

rest of my life you know have you just

00:59:13

have you just had enough casual sex to

00:59:15

last your lifetime yeah i i would

00:59:17

probably say so yeah

00:59:20

wow um sorry mom

00:59:22

yeah was it a similar path to ed sheeran

00:59:25

i don't like he he's married has um i

00:59:27

think so like a girl he went to school

00:59:28

with and i'm guessing it's because

00:59:31

you know she's one of the day ones so

00:59:32

she knew him before anything else and i

00:59:34

suppose

00:59:35

i mean he's a different tear up

00:59:37

altogether obviously but um

00:59:38

you know you you must have like serious

00:59:40

trust issues with the intentions of new

00:59:42

people you meet yeah and i'll tell you a

00:59:45

story a good story about which is real

00:59:47

recent actually about that but with ed i

00:59:50

think it was i think you know i didn't i

00:59:53

haven't talked to him about it um

00:59:55

personally but just being a fan like i'm

00:59:58

pretty sure that's the general pathway

01:00:00

he went on as

01:00:01

you know he must have realized more than

01:00:04

i did you know because he's he must have

01:00:06

been like you know like this is awesome

01:00:08

yeah like you know victoria's secret

01:00:10

like you said another tear like he would

01:00:12

be getting some some beautiful woman

01:00:15

and i think he probably just would have

01:00:17

realized the same thing that i did as

01:00:19

you know we're angsty little

01:00:21

singer-songwriters

01:00:23

doesn't fill our cup you know

01:00:25

um but yeah i mean i i do have massive

01:00:27

trust issues you know like um

01:00:30

my first girlfriend um who was just an

01:00:33

absolute angel

01:00:34

um she met me before everything and

01:00:38

i just treated her like [ __ ] once things

01:00:41

popped off of me and um

01:00:44

it's hard though i mean

01:00:45

yeah you're not still beating yourself

01:00:47

up about that no i'm not yeah i'm not

01:00:49

but um and is she forgiven yeah no

01:00:52

um

01:00:53

no i don't think she has but uh the uh

01:00:55

yeah like so with that like i always

01:00:58

even said to her i was like you know

01:00:59

like

01:01:00

you know me before all this and that was

01:01:02

that was really massive for me um

01:01:05

and then you know i went and

01:01:08

lived my life and was an [ __ ] and got

01:01:11

what i deserved um but what i realized

01:01:14

then is like oh [ __ ] my uh my ticket of

01:01:17

the

01:01:18

um knew you before you were something

01:01:20

that's gone now

01:01:22

so you have to be hyper aware and so

01:01:24

my first girlfriend's probably killing

01:01:26

yourself laughing hearing that

01:01:29

um

01:01:30

yeah yeah and then fair enough fair

01:01:33

enough um but yeah i can still tell you

01:01:36

cut up about the first one there's a lot

01:01:37

of aggression she's she's a good girl

01:01:39

yeah she's a really good girl with a

01:01:40

good heart um

01:01:41

but she's seeing anyone now i i don't

01:01:44

know i'm well blocked yeah right um

01:01:47

but yeah you know my point being is like

01:01:50

yeah there's a lot of trust issues and

01:01:52

i'm a trusting person so like even for

01:01:55

me to go into that last situation so

01:01:57

open and be like hey you know

01:01:59

well

01:02:00

um

01:02:00

yeah so it gets thrown in your face but

01:02:02

i think

01:02:03

you know it's

01:02:05

to quote rocky

01:02:07

you know how uh whatever you know how

01:02:10

many times you get hit and knocked down

01:02:12

on the ground you know you got to keep

01:02:13

getting back up so

01:02:15

yeah i mean

01:02:17

all of that [ __ ] hurts but it comes to

01:02:19

the territory you know if i look back to

01:02:21

that 16 year old dude who's

01:02:23

almost psychopathically driven to be the

01:02:25

number one songwriter in the world

01:02:27

number one this number one number one

01:02:29

you know like

01:02:31

i'd look at that guy and say hey be

01:02:32

careful what you wish for dog because

01:02:34

this is uh

01:02:35

you know it's not a picnic yeah and like

01:02:37

i i i'm a white picket fence dude you

01:02:39

know like my my dream is to yes have a

01:02:42

very successful career and yes be

01:02:45

balanced and fit and everything but it's

01:02:47

also to like

01:02:49

have a family and and want to like have

01:02:52

a loyal relationship where it's not

01:02:55

egotistical or have anything to do with

01:02:58

mitch james the the business or the

01:03:00

songwriter but just uh yeah me you know

01:03:02

and so

01:03:03

do you think you've always been a white

01:03:04

picket fence dude or do you think it's

01:03:05

part of it's because you you have been

01:03:07

on the other paddock and you've seen the

01:03:09

grass isn't any greenery yeah

01:03:11

i think i've done a lot of grazing in

01:03:13

there yeah

01:03:14

yeah yeah ain't much grass left

01:03:16

um yeah i think um

01:03:19

i think i've been on both sides

01:03:21

i think i grew up i grew up watching i

01:03:24

had two older sisters i grew up watching

01:03:26

high school musical

01:03:27

you know those the notebook

01:03:30

so i started off little mr romance

01:03:33

that's how i became a songwriter because

01:03:35

no one understands me but i've got such

01:03:37

a good heart

01:03:38

so that's where it all came from and

01:03:41

then you know

01:03:42

when things started going south at home

01:03:45

and at school

01:03:46

um

01:03:48

you know and me and my boys are

01:03:50

[ __ ] smoking up and drinking persons

01:03:53

whatever like we we looked up to rappers

01:03:56

and stuff like that and that's when i

01:03:58

sort of went like oh

01:04:00

oh you know this this could be fun

01:04:02

and we go around the world and like

01:04:04

because my mates essentially saved my

01:04:07

life you know like i tried killing

01:04:08

myself a couple times when i was younger

01:04:09

and like these boys really bought me out

01:04:11

of my shell and really helped me so i

01:04:13

was like i'm gonna bring you with me and

01:04:14

we're gonna

01:04:15

we're gonna smoke so much weed and we're

01:04:17

gonna be so rich and we're gonna have so

01:04:19

much party it didn't end up happening

01:04:22

that way but um

01:04:24

i kind of had my own experience and i

01:04:26

went into it myself so once it all

01:04:28

started happening you know

01:04:29

a couple of those boys had sort of

01:04:31

[ __ ] me over and we weren't friends

01:04:33

and

01:04:34

um

01:04:35

my one best mate was overseas and so

01:04:37

it's just me just in this new new world

01:04:39

of

01:04:40

of fame and instagram this and girls and

01:04:44

drugs and

01:04:45

and gigs and everything and so

01:04:48

yeah i lost myself in that for

01:04:50

four or five years and then um

01:04:52

just going back to the um taking your

01:04:54

own life thing how old were you then uh

01:04:56

again i would have been 15 16. and i

01:04:58

think maybe maybe 17. what was going on

01:05:01

i

01:05:03

that's a good question i i

01:05:05

so there's the stuff at school and

01:05:07

and when you're at school that's

01:05:08

obviously your whole life and so you

01:05:09

can't see anything outside of it um

01:05:13

yeah it was it was basically just school

01:05:16

and and my family my family was

01:05:19

like uh

01:05:21

both of my sisters have have had some

01:05:24

i won't go into it just yet for their

01:05:25

sake but they've had some

01:05:28

real bad real bad

01:05:30

uh mental health sort of journeys and

01:05:33

they're absolute weapons and they're

01:05:35

they're doing great now but at the time

01:05:37

it was

01:05:38

yeah it was

01:05:40

it was kind of like you wake up you go

01:05:41

to school

01:05:43

school's toxic i hate every second of it

01:05:47

and i go home

01:05:49

and i [ __ ] hate every second of it

01:05:51

so you just gotta be miserable and i

01:05:53

wake up yeah yeah yeah yeah

01:05:55

and so

01:05:56

the uh the respite from that was oh

01:05:58

should i go get high

01:06:00

and so i would go get higher because

01:06:02

that would make me feel good

01:06:04

and then i'd go home and i get

01:06:06

absolutely torn apart from it i mean my

01:06:09

parents basically

01:06:11

sort of fostered an environment where

01:06:14

i felt like my my whole life i wasn't

01:06:16

going to amount to [ __ ] so it was it was

01:06:18

really hard and um

01:06:20

yeah i just i didn't know what i was

01:06:22

doing i just knew at the time i didn't

01:06:24

want to live and

01:06:25

um

01:06:27

yeah

01:06:28

i mean

01:06:30

i remember like barricading my door with

01:06:32

a

01:06:33

couch and my sister's trying to get in

01:06:35

and and also all hectic stuff but um

01:06:38

thank god i'm i

01:06:40

didn't do anything and we got here today

01:06:42

man i'm sorry you went through that nice

01:06:44

okay that's part of the journey you know

01:06:46

what i mean that's why like

01:06:48

when people do ask me if they they have

01:06:51

advice or they want me to be an advocate

01:06:53

or whatever like

01:06:55

all i've got is my experiences you know

01:06:56

so i'm just i'm glad to share them and

01:06:58

let people know that yeah you might hear

01:07:00

me on the radio or whatever but i'm just

01:07:02

a bloke like you you know i feel [ __ ]

01:07:04

too and

01:07:06

it's it's rapidly that aj you can see

01:07:07

why the the youth stats in this country

01:07:10

is so so bad because at the time it can

01:07:11

seem like it's your whole [ __ ] life

01:07:13

and it can seem like there's no way out

01:07:14

crazy we're never getting at the moment

01:07:16

yeah and it's it's tough but um if

01:07:18

anyone's if anyone's listening to this

01:07:19

that's um

01:07:20

you know got kids that are um in that

01:07:22

sort of age or maybe you are in that age

01:07:24

it just feels like you know life's not

01:07:25

worth living you just got to know that

01:07:27

um it's like a storm and a storm always

01:07:30

passes never stays gloomy forever even

01:07:31

though it might seem that way when

01:07:32

you're in the middle of the day

01:07:34

absolutely my mum always told me this

01:07:35

too shall pass and it does that's a good

01:07:37

thing it always does yeah and i mean i

01:07:40

can't imagine how hard it would be to be

01:07:42

a parent of a kid in this day later

01:07:44

honestly

01:07:45

holy [ __ ] but yeah it's it's crazy out

01:07:47

there but it's um

01:07:49

yeah so

01:07:50

with a good parents i know you said

01:07:51

before that they used to say you

01:07:52

wouldn't amount to much was that just

01:07:54

like a necessary amount of tough tough

01:07:56

love or was it like a bit much they they

01:07:58

have

01:07:59

the best intentions in the world like

01:08:02

they

01:08:03

they're great people hearts of gold um

01:08:06

but you know

01:08:07

what i realize is parents are just

01:08:09

grown-up kids

01:08:11

and they they're still trying to figure

01:08:13

it out as well yeah there you are that's

01:08:14

what i mean and and

01:08:16

it took me a very a very very long time

01:08:19

to

01:08:20

to acknowledge that and once i

01:08:22

acknowledged that i've i've never had a

01:08:25

negative sort of bit of energy towards

01:08:27

them because yeah they're just they're

01:08:29

just idiot kids that had had more idiot

01:08:32

kids and who's trying to figure it out

01:08:34

yeah it must be such a relief as a

01:08:35

parent i because um when

01:08:46

i don't know i hope they look at each

01:08:47

other and go we did okay yeah i hope

01:08:50

they did so

01:08:51

beautiful people and it's it's a crazy

01:08:53

journey and i wouldn't change it for

01:08:55

anything you know like

01:08:57

we uh

01:08:58

we're tough people ask james's and you

01:09:01

know for them to be battling what

01:09:02

they're battling with haven't complained

01:09:04

once and um

01:09:05

yeah i i found it probably the biggest

01:09:08

honor in my life to be able to run that

01:09:10

marathon for them so uh

01:09:12

no heroin addict jail chunky boy

01:09:16

just um just just yeah just high on me

01:09:18

just a stoner just a stoner we could

01:09:21

live with that oh you could be a lot

01:09:23

worse than that all right hey mate it's

01:09:25

been a fantastic chat i've taken up so

01:09:27

much of your time but we'll just any

01:09:28

time brother some quick fire running

01:09:30

questions right

01:09:31

mitchell digby mccallum james

01:09:39

yeah yeah where did those names come

01:09:41

from the digby mccarthy so i think digby

01:09:44

is

01:09:45

great grandfather on the day on my dad's

01:09:48

side

01:09:50

and i think

01:09:52

mccallum

01:09:53

brendan mccollum

01:09:55

i don't know where mcallen comes from

01:09:56

all right mitch james

01:09:59

thank you what do you what do you listen

01:10:00

to when you run

01:10:02

i uh

01:10:04

been to bruce springsteen lately

01:10:06

springsteen uh this guy called sam

01:10:09

fender um

01:10:11

holly humberstone who's a young british

01:10:13

singer-songwriter she's awesome um i got

01:10:16

like a big chunk in there of um

01:10:19

of like

01:10:21

those classic uh sort of like

01:10:24

rap

01:10:25

early 2000s ones i got like roy jones

01:10:27

can't be touched can't be stopped just

01:10:30

yeah it makes music that makes me want

01:10:32

to run through a wall but yeah i got

01:10:34

like a big range hey but um

01:10:37

yeah yeah this the the staples i've

01:10:40

found lately uh sort of like that

01:10:42

springsteen like rock i don't know why

01:10:44

it's just getting me through

01:10:45

what's what sort of era springsteen i'm

01:10:47

a massive bruce springsteen fan so i

01:10:49

remember

01:10:50

growing up my dad like all my music

01:10:53

taste came from my dad and he had the um

01:10:55

he had the greatest hits with um

01:10:57

springsteen and uh what do you call

01:10:59

overalls like they're dead

01:11:02

yeah yeah but it's just got all like

01:11:04

it's got all the classics on you know

01:11:05

hungry heart born to run born to runs a

01:11:08

[ __ ] great running song obviously um

01:11:10

what else uh

01:11:13

hey little babies oh yeah i'm on fire

01:11:15

yeah yeah yeah yeah

01:11:17

yeah that's it that's a weird lure okay

01:11:18

hey little girl is your daddy home yeah

01:11:20

yeah did he go and leave you all alone

01:11:22

it's a little i've got a bad desire oh

01:11:24

yeah bruce can i settle down mate

01:11:27

settle down yeah i don't think that's a

01:11:28

release in 2021 song yeah let's leave

01:11:31

that and leave that in 84. that one yeah

01:11:34

what's your favorite place to run do you

01:11:36

have like a favorite route

01:11:37

yeah roads trails what are you um yeah i

01:11:39

i tend to

01:11:40

have my daily tempo i'm like living in

01:11:43

kobe so i just go down the hill

01:11:44

round around the waterfront typically

01:11:47

into an extremely blistering headwind

01:11:50

[ __ ] if you don't know auckland you

01:11:51

might know what i'm talking about oh

01:11:52

yeah um yeah for anyone that's not from

01:11:54

auckland probably sort of around kelly

01:11:55

tilton yeah the waterfront the

01:11:57

waterfront yeah i'm a sucker for a view

01:11:59

yeah it's great view along there i love

01:12:01

running along there there's some there's

01:12:02

water fountains there's uh toilets if

01:12:04

you need them yeah i i don't know i

01:12:05

don't know if we said this on the

01:12:06

podcast but i actually ran past one dom

01:12:09

harvey uh by kelly thompson didn't even

01:12:11

[ __ ] know it was me i didn't make the

01:12:13

connection yeah yeah and then

01:12:15

i was like a fanboy

01:12:18

i do remember the encounter but it's

01:12:20

like i still don't

01:12:21

recognize it as being match yeah yeah

01:12:23

you were very excited probably would

01:12:25

have expected a little fatso drifting

01:12:27

alone

01:12:28

um what's your favorite shoe do you have

01:12:30

a favorite shoe um

01:12:32

i definitely have a favorite shoe that's

01:12:33

not a running shoe uh

01:12:35

nike air drilled and one low

01:12:38

triple white that's my go-to but i uh

01:12:41

with running shoes i won't really want

01:12:43

to try out the kipchoge special um and i

01:12:46

wish i did to shave off that extra one

01:12:48

percent oh mate wait right there yeah

01:12:51

wait right there have you got some stats

01:12:53

for me

01:12:54

kanye

01:12:58

hey little girl is your daddy home

01:13:03

oh [ __ ] yeah yeah

01:13:05

that's the choking show and i'll tell

01:13:06

you what

01:13:07

i reckon it's probably worth

01:13:10

probably worth

01:13:11

i don't know maybe five seconds a

01:13:12

kilometer it is so it feels so good

01:13:16

really it's been called like shoe doping

01:13:18

yeah mechanical doping they said hey

01:13:20

yeah man it just the spring it gives you

01:13:23

it's phenomenal i just i save them for

01:13:24

special occasions they might have

01:13:26

charging shoes yeah but worthwhile

01:13:28

investment

01:13:29

and how much of those set you back like

01:13:31

a few handy yeah look at that [ __ ] is so

01:13:34

lightweight [ __ ] hell man it's so

01:13:36

good it's nice

01:13:37

but i think i'm just running some um

01:13:39

essex at the moment yeah i went to one

01:13:41

of those shoe science places and

01:13:42

ran for the dude like an idiot you know

01:13:44

and then

01:13:47

oh that's good i say that to anyone it's

01:13:49

like i'm running such a cheap sport um

01:13:51

the only investment you need to make is

01:13:52

shoes so you go do it properly go to

01:13:55

like shoe science or shoe clinic or

01:13:56

something like that absolutely yeah um

01:13:58

do you prefer to run alone or with a

01:13:59

crew

01:14:00

alone yeah yeah alone for sure yeah i'm

01:14:03

the same i feel like if you're running

01:14:04

with a crew someone's always running

01:14:06

slower than what they want to and

01:14:07

someone's running faster than they want

01:14:08

to absolutely and like i feel like

01:14:12

there's always maybe maybe i'm wrong or

01:14:14

maybe i'd be that person but i feel like

01:14:16

there's always one person to try and

01:14:17

talk too much as well

01:14:19

shut the [ __ ] up we're trying to run

01:14:20

yeah some like [ __ ] chat about the

01:14:23

weather or something oh shut up i got

01:14:25

mates like that i just like grunt along

01:14:26

not i'm not i'm not bringing anything to

01:14:28

the conversation

01:14:31

do you prefer um hot or cold summer or

01:14:33

winter for running for running

01:14:35

colder the better yeah colder the better

01:14:37

yeah i

01:14:38

my girlfriends will vouch for that

01:14:41

i'm a very sweaty man generally so uh

01:14:44

anything cold is as beautiful like i i

01:14:47

actually really enjoyed that first half

01:14:49

of the auckland one just because it was

01:14:50

so early and before sunrise yeah oh [ __ ]

01:14:53

it was like it was magic hey but yeah i

01:14:55

can do the hot like but it's just

01:14:57

unnecessary mental challenge yeah

01:14:59

something i've asked everyone i'm going

01:15:01

to ask you as well but i feel like we

01:15:02

already know the answer run is high is

01:15:03

it real or a myth

01:15:05

well i mean you are

01:15:09

yeah i mean no comment no

01:15:12

technically

01:15:13

run as high all the time

01:15:15

um no definitely it's it's definitely a

01:15:18

thing yeah it's definitely i i agree and

01:15:20

it doesn't always happen necessarily

01:15:21

when you run but you know sometimes

01:15:23

you'll finish that run flick your shoes

01:15:25

off be in the shower and you'll just

01:15:26

feel good yeah and super high yeah

01:15:30

yeah yeah yeah totally mitch thanks for

01:15:32

sitting down today um and um

01:15:35

good luck finding um the love that you

01:15:36

deserve thank you brother you really do

01:15:38

you've got a you've got a big heart

01:15:40

massive heart and a lot of you so do you

01:15:42

and um no i'm i'm really excited for for

01:15:44

you and i'm i'm so super stoked to help

01:15:46

out so let me know if i can help out in

01:15:49

any way bro and uh always a pleasure bro

01:15:51

appreciate it mitch james love you

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Episode Highlights

Imposter Syndrome
Dom Harvey opens up about his struggles with imposter syndrome, a feeling of self-doubt.
“I suffer from this condition called imposter syndrome.”
@ 01m 47s
April 04, 2022
Mitch James' Marathon Journey
Mitch James shares his experience running his first marathon, honoring his parents along the way.
“It was a real cool way to honor them.”
@ 06m 10s
April 04, 2022
The Power of Running
Mitch discusses how running became a therapeutic outlet during tough times.
“I always feel better after a run.”
@ 07m 52s
April 04, 2022
The Dark Side of Fame
Fame can bring excitement, but it also reveals the loneliness behind the spotlight.
“You realize these people aren’t here for me.”
@ 25m 31s
April 04, 2022
From Rejection to Resilience
Facing rejection has always been a challenge, but it fuels my drive to succeed.
“Rejection in any form has always been the dagger of all daggers for me.”
@ 34m 00s
April 04, 2022
Mental Health Awareness
Talking about mental health is crucial; bottling it up can lead to devastating consequences.
“Talking about it definitely helps 100%.”
@ 37m 04s
April 04, 2022
The Struggles of Fame
Navigating the challenges of fame and trust issues in relationships.
“I lost myself in that for four or five years.”
@ 01h 04m 50s
April 04, 2022
Overcoming Darkness
Sharing experiences of mental health struggles and the importance of support.
“Thank god I didn't do anything and we got here today.”
@ 01h 06m 40s
April 04, 2022
The Journey of Parenting
Discussing the challenges of parenting and the journey of understanding.
“Parents are just grown-up kids trying to figure it out.”
@ 01h 08m 11s
April 04, 2022
Finding Love
Wishing a friend good luck in finding the love they deserve.
“Good luck finding the love that you deserve.”
@ 01h 15m 35s
April 04, 2022
Supportive Friendship
A conversation filled with encouragement and support for each other's journeys.
“I'm so super stoked to help out.”
@ 01h 15m 44s
April 04, 2022

Episode Quotes

I always feel better after a run.
Mitch James discusses mental health and suicide || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey
I wanted to prove everyone at school wrong.
Mitch James discusses mental health and suicide || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey
I’m aware of the fact that I am the most oversensitive overthinking.
Mitch James discusses mental health and suicide || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey
You just gotta embrace your weirdness.
Mitch James discusses mental health and suicide || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey
You know me before all this, and that was really massive for me.
Mitch James discusses mental health and suicide || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey
You just gotta know that it won't stay gloomy forever.
Mitch James discusses mental health and suicide || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

Key Moments

Imposter Syndrome01:47
Musical Beginnings14:21
Transition to Fame22:20
Self-Awareness34:36
Overcoming Adversity1:02:13
Mental Health Journey1:04:08
Life Lessons1:06:56
Supportive Vibes1:15:44

Words per Minute Over Time

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Matt Fenn on his 654km continuous run! || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

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Matt Fenn on his 654km continuous run! || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

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October 19, 2022

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Joseph Parker talks candidly about his 2021 legal troubles || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

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March 12, 2023

59:40

New Zealand journalism legend Guyon Espiner || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

Josh Koman talks about beating cancer twice! || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

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Josh Koman talks about beating cancer twice! || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

What Billy Evans didn't say on Netflix Boston Bombing doco! | Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

April 29, 2023

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What Billy Evans didn't say on Netflix Boston Bombing doco! | Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

Fair Go's Haydn Jones is a bloody Good Sort! || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

May 21, 2023

01:07:44

Fair Go's Haydn Jones is a bloody Good Sort! || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

Rachel Grunwell shares her running tips for beginners! || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

October 14, 2022

57:58

Rachel Grunwell shares her running tips for beginners! || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

Sam Tanner on the prayer that came true || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

October 24, 2022

01:16:45

Sam Tanner on the prayer that came true || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

Laura Nagel on the diagnosis that threatened her career || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

October 16, 2022

45:39

Laura Nagel on the diagnosis that threatened her career || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

Dave Letele (Buttabean) talks about being held at gun point || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

October 14, 2022

59:23

Dave Letele (Buttabean) talks about being held at gun point || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

Sophie Devine discusses mental breakdown on the cricket pitch | Runners Only! Podcast wth Dom Harvey

October 24, 2022

01:29:07

Sophie Devine discusses mental breakdown on the cricket pitch | Runners Only! Podcast wth Dom Harvey