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this is the Buster Rhymes that none of us have ever seen before Buster Rhymes says it himself this is a buster Rhymes
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that nobody's ever seen before you will walk away from this
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conversation understanding not only what it takes to reach the very peak of your powers but to stay there for 33 years to
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have the insane consistency discipline dedication and in his words addiction to
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something that will take you to the very top but then also you'll see the forces in life that take you from that Peak to
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the deepest depths of darkness and once you're in that Darkness how do you rise from it how did
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Buster take himself from the darkest moment of his life that he's really not talked about ever before back to the
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peak of his powers this is a human story it's one of the most inspiring stories we've ever had on this show and it's a side of a
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guy that we've known for many many decades that I have never seen before thank you to bust for this conversation
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and if you like this conversation if you like what we do here on the D of CE before we get started I've got a 10-second favor to ask you about 62% of
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you roughly that listen to this podcast frequently haven't yet hit the Subscribe button so if you can hit that subscribe
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button it is the reason why we're able to get guests like Buster rymes to come here and have these conversations with
00:01:20
me I feel like we're a team here give a little take a little so if you could hit that subscribe button that would be
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absolutely amazing it's the only favor that I'll ever ask from you and I promise you in return turn that I'll do
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everything to give you more guest like this one and guest that you love enjoy this
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[Music]
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episode Buster sometimes I think that with maturity and with age we're able to
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look back at our earliest years and connect dots that only our maturity and only our own growth and development
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allow us to connect and those dots sometimes indicate to us why and how we became the person we
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are today and that's really what I'm so compelled to understand with you is what is that early context that you look back
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on now when you go the reason I am the man I am today sat here is because of
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this early context and these things and these people what is that honestly have to say it starts with my mother and my
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father um my mother and my father was was
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strict you know what I'm saying and they also made sure that I didn't need for nothing I was able to really enjoy what
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it was to be a child and you know I don't I don't have to sit
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here and and mislead people like I come from some poor struggle and I come from
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this this hood [ __ ] like yeah I was in the hood I was in Brooklyn East Flatbush
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Brooklyn New York and I was in the hood with enough of the the goons and the
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Hooligans but the difference about our era and the way
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you you mostly hear artists try to portray it now is even the guys that was the goons and the gangsters and the
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troublemakers in the street they had respect and they had integrity and they understood what it was to have proper
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manners like if my mother as serious as she
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was saw any of the other kids in the street it was the like I'm giving you an example of how it really literally took
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a village to ra a child like none of the Neighbors on the Block would see another child that they watch grow from a little
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boy into becoming a teenager or something and see that kid misbehaving and not reprimand him in the street even
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if they not his parent so my neighbors had permission to to bust my ass if I
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was misbehaving and then they would tell my mother and if my mother felt like I misrepresented her to make another
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neighbor have to discipline me that was going to get me another ass beaten so you ended up getting two ass
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beaten for every one trouble that you caused you know what I'm saying and and that's that [ __ ] was important because I
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think that as a community that [ __ ] is something that's it doesn't exist
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anymore you can't tell no nobody else kid nothing kids ain't trying to listen to you tell them nothing they'll lift up
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something and fling it after you or or or go upside your head if and disrespect you because it's just a totally
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different value in the way things are done in the community so it starts with my parents
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and the way I was raised in in the house to have respect for my parents have respect for my other Elders even if he
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wasn't my parent and also even if you was dudes that was in the street you still an elder we had to
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respect you as an elder in in return that same respect that came from the
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house and you whenever you went abroad and you conducted yourself in that manner would garnish the same respect in
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return so even if it was a dude in the street on some Street [ __ ] the respect
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that you showed to that Elder still warranted a certain respect from them
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they wouldn't disrespect the respect that you was raised in your house to have for your family and for them so
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that respect was upheld and it was that that integrity was defended
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and that was a real solid foundation that all of the other
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flaw was built on which eventually evolved into becoming a skyscraper for me so I'mma start there with the kids
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then I'm I'mma go to the neighborhood because again when my parents was around I got the same disciplining from the
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neighbors the hardworking middle class families the less fortunate families
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that was still in the neighborhood we all was on the same Accord about discipline and respect was it it was it
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easy to see when you look back how you could have gone another way in that context absolutely because all of those
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things were still there the drug dealing was still there the shootings were still happening the robberies were still
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happening all of that was there right but the beautiful thing was there was a
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serious presence of balance that was just as impressionable
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as all of the things that was the negative presence that was strong and
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that did get a stronghold on a lot of the youth in the community at the time too how come you didn't go the other way
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I did I did I just was fortunate enough to have something like hip hop that was
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able to be an alternative that saved my life changed my life and I had some incredible people
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that was around me to support me when I
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found this interest and and I identified with my gift as
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and artists to be able [Music] to entertain
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people perform articulate my thoughts through
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song and Ry form and I had an incredible support
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system with my moms I had an incredible support system with just the other friends and family that I grew up with
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that was in the community and then last but not least the determination that I
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had to want to be able to not disappoint the people that I knew that really was
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proud of what I was doing good bad or indifferent who are they it was it was all of them all of
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them right so for example I pissed my mom's off when I decideed I wanted to start selling weed and selling crack
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right and the guys that was in the street that I was doing it
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with when they realized even though I was doing it and it was cool for us to
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do it they didn't really want us to do it when they started to see that we had potential to do other things that was
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going to keep us safe and keep us away from the street a lot of the time they didn't have a better opportunity to
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offer us so they made sure that they was as present as they could be to gu us through the [ __ ] that they didn't even
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want us to do in the first place which was the the stupidness we was carrying on with in the street so they did everything they could
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to minimize the [ __ ] that we would get into so we don't get k so we don't go to jail so you know none of that [ __ ]
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would happen but once they realize they didn't have a better opportunity for us that is what they felt was the best that
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they could do if they if we're going to do the [ __ ] we got to be there to protect them and make sure that they
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straight and we guide them so that they could do it the best way with the least amount of [ __ ] as a younger as a
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younger kid right when they started to see that this rapping thing and this hip-hop [ __ ] and break dancing and and
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graffiti and DJing and all of that [ __ ] was something that we started to generate interest for that's when they
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started to encourage us to do that more instead of cracking instead of selling the drugs instead of selling weed
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instead of stealing this and taking that and so they were so happy to see we
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found another way they wanted us to do that so the more we did
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that if we started to show them in indication as we was making in progress
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that we wasn't continuing to be productive now it felt like you was pissing off two sets of
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parents I'm already pissing off my parents cuz I'm with them in the street now they see me doing this music [ __ ]
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they like that [ __ ] they proud of me so if I'm not doing well in that now I'm disappointing them too what was the
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consequence of your parents separating at 11 years old cuz I think about me being 11 years old I remember a conversation my mom my mom's Nigerian I
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was born in bwana my dad's English right I remember at around that age about 10 years old my parents calling me in and
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basically telling me they didn't love any each other anymore and it was like the world had broken in half yeah it
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like you can't comprehend the concept of these two people being separate it's like being torn into two pieces how was
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it for you at 11 years old when you find that out it was disastrous for me because um like you said you can't
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really ever wrap your head around that as a child you don't know how to conceptualize that like
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um obviously there was things that I was able to do and and it was enjoyment I
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was able to have when I spent time with my father that I I couldn't get when I was with my
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mother there was things that I was always able to get as far as nurturing and being cared for and being baby from
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my mother that I couldn't get from my father and obviously divine order is Mother and Father to make baby right
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so I definitely didn't want to lose neither one of them did you change
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I definitely Chang because um I wasn't um I couldn't figure out how to find my
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my my uh the the the behaved kid that I was
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even though I was still getting into [ __ ] the the [ __ ] really started
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once my mother and my father got a divorce the misbehaving really started
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picking up the the disrespect started to pick up and intensify the anger was just
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a lot more more why it overwhelmed me more because I was just I wasn't happy with my
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situation and then I wasn't happy
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with the the way that I was directly impacted by their beef so
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like you know there would be times when if my mother and my father wasn't
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getting along fresh discrepancy between the two of them say like the day of my father
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posted to pick up me and my brother cuz I only got one younger brother and say he supposed to come and pick us up on
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this day and particularly for his visitation weekend if a
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argument started with the two of them that
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morning you know my father would get to the house and then my mother wouldn't even let us go and we would look and see
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him in the front of the house from the window and my mom's would just be on some
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[ __ ] how did you feel looking at him from the window it [ __ ] crazy you wanted to go I'm guessing of course you
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know what I'm saying because there was things and there was other family that
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obviously was on my father's side cousins and kids from the neighborhoods
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of the cousins uh part of Brooklyn or queens and different areas of New York that we
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would go that we had friends and with the family and with the
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neighborhood friends that we met through our other family and other cousins and
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things of that nature in the different neighbor we we we wouldn't get to see these people until Dad came to get us
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because Mom's wasn't cool really with that side of the family like that my father's side of the family wasn't
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really rocking with my mother's side of the family like that so if that rotation didn't happen in the visits we didn't
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get to enjoy that we missed out with Dad we was only get to getting the opportunity to see him you
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know once a week once every two weeks or sometimes once a month if they they
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beefing with each other did did your relationship with your father at that point kind of become a bit straighted when because of that beef did you start
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to see him less and less and less yeah I think my conflict with my father it
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started to happen more and more because um you know obviously um
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the lack of a parent presence has an effect in different ways right and as a son I don't know what it
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is but I just think instinctually boys cling on to their
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moms more I don't know if that's always the case but in most cases that's usually
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what it is I think my father's personality was a little conflicting for
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me with the way my personality was and the contrast of my father's
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personality as opposed to my mother's personality it it drew Conflict for me
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too because my father he wasn't as interested in the [ __ ] that I wanted to
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do or that the [ __ ] that I was interested in as a as a child like he always was more serious
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about whatever he felt was best for my future was all that mattered it wasn't
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about what I thought it was about what he thought so I always started to feel like in in having the comparison and
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seeing the contrast between that and how supportive my mother was for the [ __ ]
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that I wanted to do like you know first time I got some [ __ ] I could
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come tell my mother I could sit down and tell my mother about how that felt you know what I'm saying I could sit and tell my moms
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about you know my first wet dream or some [ __ ] I could I could talk to my moms and
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about the music that I'm making in the studio with with my crew leaders of the new school at the time and I could come
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home and I could play that [ __ ] in the house I could turn up the [ __ ] just as long as I could do just as long as I did
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what I was supposed to in the house my mother was with all the other [ __ ] as long as it was productive and it kept me
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away from the trouble in the street that was relieving for her my
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father he tried to talk to him at the time about some rap [ __ ] he's like I don't want to hear that [ __ ] that [ __ ] is a bunch of
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[ __ ] and you wasting your time with that [ __ ] that's how I used to talk you
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know what I'm saying now at that time I didn't respect it and at that time I I I I felt way I
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felt real [ __ ] up about that because it was just like I could be doing some real [ __ ]
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like I'm I'm actually still one foot put in because I'm not I'm I haven't
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succeeded at this this [ __ ] don't make me no money I do this [ __ ] cuz I love it like I just love it so when I'm able to
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do [ __ ] that I love with with my friends that and with my people
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that I'm entertained by doing it with them it's because I have this thing with
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a crew that there's a collective enjoyment that we're getting
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from from doing this music [ __ ] are you still trying to prove him wrong to some degree did you find yourself trying to
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prove him wrong then nah because I got my opportunity to do it but before that moment before at that time yeah
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absolutely I was trying to prove him wrong I was so determined to prove him wrong that it it it it forced me to
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excel because the more that he wanted me to do what he wanted me to do which was
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my father was a licensed electrical contractor okay okay so he used to force
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me to come to work his way of keeping me off the street was bringing me to work with him because he had his
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own company as a licensed electrical contractor how' you feel about that I
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was disgusted with that [ __ ] because we working in these nasty [ __ ] buildings with rats and roaches running around and
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[ __ ] and it took childhood time for me because I wasn't able to be outside and play that's really what I wanted to do
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and how old were you then 12 it started a little younger than that but right around 12 is when it got serious I would
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say like around 10 years old was when it started 12 is when it got serious
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because my mother used to send us to different countries every summer with my
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father just so we could be able to explore what it was like to live in Jamaica for a summer with the family
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same [ __ ] with England my mother would send us to England so when I
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was around there was one summer we came out here you were 10 I was like 10 11 my
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brother was younger than me he like seven I'm staying in morham them time
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and Preston and we went to karate school here we went to Primary School here
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and we was break dancing and I had these cousins that used to named Samantha and
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Michaela they used to take me in val they used to take me to these little clubs cuz they used to bring us to like
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this little area where was like a uh I wouldn't call it a downtown area but
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there was a area Like a downtown area in the morham area and in the Preston area and in a Blackpool area and we would go
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and we would break dance out there with the young kids that was from England and you know we had our style of doing [ __ ]
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from New York and we we was we was getting we was some dangerous little [ __ ] now I me you know we was
00:19:22
getting busy we was making it happen we you know we twisting up and popping and all of this [ __ ] so
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it was it was something where we just became a part of this break dance community and they was always looking forward to seeing us we would go out
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there like three four times a week other people promoters they would see us they started to book us to come in clubs
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obviously we're too young to go in a club so they would let us come perform
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10 minutes 15 minutes and then we would have to leave immediately so we made a little money that way get a little 10
00:19:53
PBS here for a show a little 20 pounds there for a show but this these are the things that grew around so when I when I
00:20:00
was around all of this and that started to slow down dad was like okay y'all ain't going
00:20:07
nowhere this summer you're coming to work do I want to go to work no do I
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want to be an electrician no do I want to be [ __ ] pulling BX cable through
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sheetrock no do I want to be hammering nails and then bang my finger no do I
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want to see rats and [ __ ] roaches crawling over my shoes and my timbering
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boots and I don't want to do none of that and I'm watching kids riding up and down and pop a wheelieing on the bike
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and music playing outside and I can't do that [ __ ] I was I used to be super angry at that [ __ ] every day with my father
00:20:44
what did you want to do instead I wanted to rap I wanted to make music I wanted to break dance I wanted to do all the
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[ __ ] that hip-hop consisted of like I I became the embodiment of Hip Hop and it was the
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thing that was my excuse to not go to work why did you want to rap well number
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one I wanted to be the DJ first okay you know what I'm saying the DJ thing to me
00:21:15
though I never really got good at it to be the DJ I was able to do it but I was
00:21:21
never nice enough to become the Superstar DJ and at that time
00:21:30
the DJ was super important because all of the groups had the DJ name so the
00:21:35
grandm Flash and the furious five Jam Master J Run DMC like the DJ was always
00:21:43
the solo it was like he was the big shot so when I I couldn't I'm not really
00:21:51
the technology dude you know what I'm saying so all of this equipment [ __ ] like it was just a
00:21:57
little complic ated for me and
00:22:03
then I actually became a MC by accident and the interesting part about
00:22:09
that was I caught two charges selling crack
00:22:17
by the time I was 12 and fortunately the laws was
00:22:23
different and I was a minor so
00:22:28
I didn't see no serious trouble but I was definitely on my way to getting into
00:22:35
some serious trouble if I didn't if my mother didn't say all right enough of
00:22:40
this [ __ ] we got to get you out of here that's when she took me from
00:22:45
Brooklyn and brought me to Long Island when I got to Long Island that's
00:22:51
when I met Brown C Brown from leaders of the new school dink OD D from leaders of the new
00:22:57
school Milo is my mother's sister's son so he's my first Blood
00:23:03
cousin but before we brought in Milo it was and even before we brought in Dinko was it was me Dinko and another dude
00:23:09
named mystery mystery was hustling in the street too but when we went to Long Island now a lot of other families was
00:23:17
thinking like my mother it brought their kids from Brooklyn too to Long Island
00:23:22
from Queens to Long Island from the Bronx to Long Island so we left the neighborhood
00:23:29
which is the hood we was raised in we left the hood to come to the suburbs and still be around a bunch of kids from the
00:23:37
hood you know what I'm saying so the same [ __ ] you was running from we found
00:23:42
a way to do the same [ __ ] in these nice neighborhoods now and here we come as
00:23:48
the generation terrorizing these beautiful neighborhoods
00:23:53
and we [ __ ] these neighborhoods up when you say you became an accident Dental MC this is what happened I wasn't
00:24:02
rapping yet I was only break dancing I was only popping and I was DJing a little bit and
00:24:08
I was messing around with the graffiti I wasn't rapping yet so when I
00:24:15
move to Long Island I meet Charlie Brown I meet
00:24:21
mystery [Music] and what ends up happening
00:24:29
is in this junior high school now they got like these lip sync contests they got rap contests
00:24:35
and you know we now finally getting a chance to experience what it's like to have a be in school where you have
00:24:42
periods different periods in classes and you in one class for 45 minutes to an hour then the bell ringing and you
00:24:48
switch I got the hallway action everybody talking [ __ ] go to the next class flirt with a couple of chicks on
00:24:54
the way to the next class so all of that interaction is starting out puberty kicking in crazy you know 13 years old
00:25:02
12 13 now you starting to get your homeown just moving different
00:25:08
so obviously you going through the stage in your life now where you want to impress everybody you wna you want to be
00:25:14
the cool guy in school so whenever you came to Long Island
00:25:21
from the five burrows it was a thing oh that's the New
00:25:28
Kid From Brooklyn oh that's the new kid from Queens oh that's the new kid from
00:25:34
Bronx that's the new kid from Staten Island so me being one of the new kids from Brooklyn it created this
00:25:41
talk
00:25:46
and the rapping thing is happening Charlie Brown was like the guy he was
00:25:53
like the the the number one rap dude in school at the time
00:25:59
so one day I'm coming out of the school and we get in the schoolyard and you know some of the kids waiting on the
00:26:05
school buses some of the kids is waiting to see you know the football game or the basketball game after school there was
00:26:11
like a cipher that was formed in this particular day and it was a big one and it was C Brown rapping and two other
00:26:20
kids and then uh see brown was getting most of the
00:26:26
shine I walked over with to the cipher and I started
00:26:33
beatboxing right and uh Brown he's he doing his rap [ __ ] to
00:26:39
my beatbox or whatever and you know I'm keeping the beat going for him and then
00:26:47
um everything was smooth in the beginning like you know he was just rhing everything was cool and you know
00:26:52
he's sounding good and then like probably like a good 30 40 seconds into it he just started
00:26:58
disrespecting me so I'm beatboxing for him and he dissing me and I'm I'm I'm
00:27:04
kind of like torn between should I punch this dude in his
00:27:09
face or should I just keep beatboxing and not be the party pooper of the party
00:27:15
energy that we have in here and you how old I was 12 I was I was 13 now and I'm
00:27:21
saying to myself I'm from Brooklyn
00:27:28
and the mentality back then was everybody from Long Island was [ __ ] you
00:27:33
know it's the suburbs it's the green grass it's the flower beds it's it's the
00:27:39
the the the nice houses we come from from from Concrete Jungle we come from projects we come
00:27:45
from struggle so I'm looking at this dude and I'm just
00:27:51
looking at him like I'm a [ __ ] you up like in two seconds because you a [ __ ] to me but you disrespecting me in front
00:27:56
of all these people and if don't do something then they going to look at me like I'm a [ __ ] too
00:28:02
so as I'm getting ready to do something stupid the rhyme stopped like he was
00:28:09
done and everybody was biging him up and you
00:28:15
know I ain't want to look like a sore loser even though there was no battle he just chose to diss me for no reason and
00:28:23
I couldn't understand it because I'm like y I'm here to support you right now I'm giving you the beat and the whole [ __ ] the [ __ ] you doing
00:28:29
long story short that was the day I said all right I'mma go
00:28:37
home and I'mma write a rhyme tonight and I'mma come back tomorrow and I'mma
00:28:44
[ __ ] disrespect this youth in front of everybody the same way he dished me
00:28:50
up in front of everybody and the next day I came to school I waited all day I ain't telling
00:28:57
nobody [ __ ] we got back in that same yard nice big crowd the next
00:29:05
day he raming again I started beat boxing for him again like like like it's
00:29:11
the exact thing happening like the day before so we going and I'm doing what I'm doing and everything is cool and
00:29:18
nobody ain't got no clue cuz I didn't say [ __ ] to nobody about having RS
00:29:25
ready and the crazy [ __ ] is when I wrot my
00:29:31
Rhymes I was listening to a bunch of LL Cool J [ __ ] because at the time LL was
00:29:37
battling everybody on record you know what I'm saying he battling Kumo D battle IC te battle you know he was just
00:29:43
he was the one that was trying to take everybody head off and I was like yo I
00:29:48
want to come like LL so I could tear this boy head off so I ended up doing my
00:29:55
[ __ ] and somehow it went from me beatboxing to
00:30:00
him and for him to me telling him yo why don't you do a beat for
00:30:05
me and he was like oh you got RS ready today like just do a beat let me just try
00:30:11
something so he did the beat and I started off the rme on some calm [ __ ] and then when I started to get
00:30:19
into the disrespect lines that's when the the whole thing just started to happen on its own like
00:30:28
my frustration and then me seeing the people reacting to my [ __ ] the way that I wanted them to it
00:30:36
just made me more confident more cocky more charismatic and that's when the
00:30:42
whole bust of Rhymes thing started to happen and my
00:30:47
name wasn't even Buster rhes at the time I had a [ __ ] up rap name at the time what was
00:30:56
it yo my name was terrible yo my name at the
00:31:01
time I had two I had my name from being
00:31:08
a part of the 5% nation of the Gods and Earth which that name was cooler that was Lord tahim right but somehow I
00:31:16
abandoned that to become like the rappers that had
00:31:23
three-part names right is there a reason you're not telling me I'm getting to do
00:31:28
it I'm just trying to help with I'm setting it up with the proper
00:31:33
prerequisite so LL Cool J is a three-part name yeah
00:31:39
Jam Master J is a three-part name all of the guys from The Fat Boys Prince Mary D
00:31:46
cool rock ski them dudes had three- part names
00:31:52
right I changed my name to chill o ski [Laughter]
00:32:05
that name is so [ __ ] terrible I know I'm sorry bro name was terrible and you know
00:32:12
what's so crazy I kept that name for a long time because I really thought it was the [ __ ] cuz I felt like Chill O ski
00:32:19
Chill O ski bro terrible I know it's terrible but I I I really was proud of
00:32:26
like I got a three-part name like my favorites and if you want to be like
00:32:32
your favorites you got to do the [ __ ] that is a replication of your favorites and
00:32:39
then I destroyed Charlie Brown so bad that at the end of that night the
00:32:47
end of that little battle that afternoon after school he he just
00:32:53
came over to the side and was like yo we should be in a group
00:32:58
together and that's really the day that I guess Buster Rhymes I guess it's a
00:33:04
catalyst moment the day Buster was born you talked about how that kind of moment helped you develop your style and your
00:33:10
charisma and the way you carried yourself and from then till when you get signed at 17 years old I'm curious about
00:33:16
what happens in that moment because that's really you know a lot of people at 12 years old or
00:33:23
10 years old or whatever want to be hip-hop actors hip-hop stars or they want to be whatever they want to be
00:33:29
musicians but very very few make it to the top table what happens between the
00:33:34
playground that day and 17 years old you getting signed when you look back and go it was for that reason was it natural
00:33:41
Talent is it hard work is it all of the above it it's all of the above but the first thing for me was the
00:33:48
addiction to the reaction that I was getting from the people and I was seeing it and how it
00:33:54
felt in real time and just just just looking at the fact
00:34:02
that I came up with something in my crib by myself in my
00:34:10
bedroom that was fueled by a determination of wanting to defend
00:34:16
myself like a fight and a lot of the
00:34:23
times I don't think I might have said it like this I've said it before but I don't think I've said it a
00:34:29
lot I don't know if it would have been I had the same desire to want to be in
00:34:35
hipop I had the same desire to want to Ry DJ but I don't know if if that moment
00:34:42
didn't happen I don't know if I would have pursued being an
00:34:49
MC at that time it probably wouldn't happen I've sat here with a lot of people um who are Comedians and and
00:34:57
entertainers and actors and the biggest movies in the world and it's so interesting to me that there tends to be
00:35:04
an early Catalyst moment where they perform maybe in front of the family at Christmas or on stage or whatever it is
00:35:10
and they get this reaction and in that moment that reaction does something to them on a psychological level which
00:35:15
becomes as the word you used is the word I hear becomes this addiction yeah and I often wonder to myself because a lot of
00:35:22
other people will experience that reaction and not develop the addiction so the reaction it appears to is doing
00:35:28
something for those people that they needed at that moment yes I needed it at that moment I going to tell you
00:35:34
something it it actually happened before that to want to be a MC happened in that
00:35:42
moment the addiction to entertaining people that [ __ ] happened when I was
00:35:47
like seven eight years old maybe maybe even six six years old because where it
00:35:55
started for me initially was you know at the time and particularly like I was
00:36:00
saying how the neighborhood was back then and how we was raising our house back then my mother and my father you
00:36:07
know we had to go to bed at 9:00 on a school night
00:36:13
and on the weekends when we was that young we might be able to stay up until about 10:00 but we still had to go to
00:36:19
bed by a certain time when my mother had company or like my father and they had like family and
00:36:26
friends or you know they just had their little grownup get
00:36:32
togethers and they get to drink in a little bit sometimes you know they so entertained by each other's company they
00:36:38
forget to send us to bed at 9 o00 they playing music and [ __ ] and I used to
00:36:44
have to do things I would try to creatively come up with ways to avoid
00:36:49
being sent to bed at 9 o'clock so when they playing music the first thing that
00:36:56
I would always get into doing is reenactments of Michael Jackson and
00:37:03
from The Jackson 5 and James Brown dance routines so I used to do that [ __ ] and I
00:37:09
was nice with the [ __ ] split and spinning around and [ __ ] and just
00:37:16
carrying on I'm doing all type of [ __ ] and I'm for hours until I literally would be
00:37:26
sweating through my clothes but it was so entertaining that
00:37:32
sometimes the whole company that was there for my family my mother and my
00:37:38
father they ended up cheering me on and rooting me on to continue
00:37:43
and biging up my mom's about how much talent her son has and was it not that
00:37:50
feeling then that you were chasing that's what it was first that's what I was saying like I I wasn't thinking
00:37:56
about being no rapper then but I I knew what that feeling felt
00:38:01
like and I always wanted that feeling and that feeling started in the
00:38:09
crib and then it translated into me trying to get that attention in the
00:38:16
classrooms which turned me into a jokester in the class so I would do [ __ ]
00:38:21
to get the attention of the crowd from the class and became like this class
00:38:26
clown dude and I would get in trouble and [ __ ] and then it translated from
00:38:32
That Into You Know Me break dancing and doing all this hip-hop [ __ ] because I
00:38:39
loved hip-hop and I was starting to see what what was being created as a
00:38:44
movement and what was being generated as an interest that was taken over like it
00:38:50
didn't matter what else was cool at the time when hip-hop started to really become that
00:38:55
[ __ ] there was nothing more important than knowing how to do something that
00:39:02
was a representation of hip-hop if you was a graffiti artist and you was [ __ ]
00:39:07
dope you became something that was like on a celebrity status level but that's
00:39:14
when [ __ ] started putting graffiti on clothes and everybody that was involved with hip-hop or some kind
00:39:19
of representation of hip-hop became some sort of celebrity so for me that's why I
00:39:25
wanted to learn how to do everything in hip-hop because I still didn't know what I wanted to do the DJ [ __ ] complicated
00:39:33
the break dancing [ __ ] I ain't like the [ __ ] bruises I was getting all the time you know what I'm saying
00:39:39
and the graffiti [ __ ] I was cool with it but it was really when that situation
00:39:45
happened with me and C Brown that's now when I found that I was able to get the
00:39:50
feeling of when I was this little boy dancing for my parents and their
00:39:55
company and at the the same time I was able to have that Spotlight on me being
00:40:01
the rapper guy so it's like all of this [ __ ] became the thing that I started to
00:40:08
grow not only this appreciation for it but I started to grow addicted to the
00:40:17
[ __ ] that is what I was expecting in terms of like I was just trying to figure out the psychological reason why
00:40:23
you became so addicted to this cuz listen I come from a background where of my friends started rapping and most of
00:40:29
them fell off and then there's like one or two of them that just be it became like their medication to some [ __ ] yeah
00:40:35
and I've always wondered why they just like that individual just stuck at it for all those years yeah but in that in that answer we have the um I think the
00:40:43
biggest addiction for me out of all of it was to be able to
00:40:49
say to my father I wanted to be able to experience
00:40:56
the day not knowing if it would ever come but it was a serious serious thing like I used
00:41:03
to write the [ __ ] on my wall and just on a piece of paper and I would stick it on the
00:41:09
wall and it would say one day I'm going
00:41:15
to get a deal I'm G sign a contract I'm G come home with so much [ __ ]
00:41:22
money that I'm going be able to tell my father I told you so that's all I wanted to be able to do
00:41:29
and I wrote that [ __ ] and put it on the wall and I would look at that [ __ ] every day and and there would be days still
00:41:38
when he would tell me I got to come to work and I would look at that sign and then I would see him outside in
00:41:44
the truck and I walk out that [ __ ] house and I would be mad as
00:41:52
hell angry and what I do love about my father as I
00:41:58
got older is I understood what he wanted he just wanted
00:42:04
to make sure I wasn't wasting my time he built
00:42:12
this company he want to pass it down it was love it's love it was he need his
00:42:20
son to succeed I'm his pride and his joy and
00:42:27
failure is not an option with my father and I guess where he came from you know it's the same with my
00:42:34
mother my mother when I told her 18 I wasn't going to University wouldn't speak to me for years but she comes from Nigeria she left school at 7 years old
00:42:40
she can't read or write today wow so I was the only of her four kids I was the only one that says I'm not going to University right now she stood in my way
00:42:46
and said don't start a business etc etc but in in my maturity I go she stood in my way because she loved me absolutely
00:42:53
at the time and everyone goes a lot of people go through especially sort of immigrant immigrant kids primarily yeah because that pain and
00:43:00
that struggle that suffering that they come from that [ __ ] ain't no that's not this [ __ ] that we was raised in that you
00:43:08
know me and you we obviously even if you was born there you wasn't you didn't spend your years there
00:43:15
to to experience the pain that they did so you come here now you still don't
00:43:20
know they struggle they know though they never going to forget and they obviously want the best for their babies man
00:43:28
my father came to the Apollo to see us and this what made him even more sure
00:43:33
about disrespecting me and disrespecting the rap [ __ ] me and my my crew leaders
00:43:40
of the new school we had an opportunity to perform at the Apollo at amateur night at the Apollo and we get up there
00:43:46
and we got booed badly booed one of the first times
00:43:52
you know when me and Charlie Brown decided to form the group the guy mystery that was with us originally
00:43:57
he got tired of the the weight there was no real light at the end of the tunnel if we was going to get an opportunity to get a record deal he was selling drugs
00:44:05
in the street too he decided he wanted to go back to the street and do that he ain't want to be in a rap group no more that's how room was made for Dinko to
00:44:11
get in the group cuz we still felt like we needed to replace the third rapper we got our Three rap dudes now it's me
00:44:17
Brown and Dinko and then I said yo we need a DJ let me get my cousin so Milo
00:44:23
came and we ended up doing the show at the Apollo got booed and my father was even he was
00:44:30
hitting me with the I Told You So that night see I tell you yo you waste your time with this little idiot rapper boy
00:44:38
[ __ ] for come and work that's why I'm going tell you for come to work so you can learn some
00:44:44
stability and stop waste your time with this rapper [ __ ] it's how you talking to
00:44:49
me we Still In the Venue really we ain't even leave he just beating me in the head with
00:44:55
this total dis respect but again at that time I I hated him for
00:45:04
it as we got older and I that day came for me I got my my record deal when I
00:45:11
was 17 and what was it about you though was it
00:45:17
was it this was it the unique style and the you had a completely different flow
00:45:22
that people were just drawn to that raised the energy on every record you touched it definitely was that and that
00:45:29
came completely from dance hall influence right
00:45:35
so are you familiar with like Sting yeah all right so sting clashes that used to
00:45:41
happen from the 80s all the way down M the one thing that I saw in dance hall
00:45:47
culture that I wasn't seeing in hip-hop was the way when dance hall artists was
00:45:53
getting busy and clashing in front of that 105 ,000,000 people in that sting
00:46:01
audience the energy that they had to have to make sure that they're
00:46:07
portraying themselves in a way that was just more than the lyrics
00:46:13
It Was a a complete Showmanship that was
00:46:18
a collective of things it was the outfit it was the jumping around it was the
00:46:23
kicking the foot it was the flinging your hand and the way you was coming through on the microphone and the flow
00:46:29
patterns and the the cleverness of the lyrics and the punch lines it was all of these things and it was mindblowing to me
00:46:37
because I wasn't seeing that same thing in Hip Hop in hip-hop you seeing dudes
00:46:43
just walking around you know they might hold their crutch and they act like they too cool to be that
00:46:51
animated me I love that [ __ ] I love kung fu movies I love karate movies so all of
00:46:57
that [ __ ] and the dancing up and the this and
00:47:02
and that and the foot this that I just took all of that [ __ ] and I said I'mma turn this into what I'm GNA do on these
00:47:11
stages and I think that if I master this [ __ ] and I could
00:47:17
Master my breathing and I don't exhaust myself too soon try to jump around all over the
00:47:24
[ __ ] stage going crazy I think I might become a dangerous [ __ ] that's hard to compete with
00:47:31
because dudes are not moving like this on no stage I'm going to all of the
00:47:37
shows I'm being a student I'm in the clubs I'm in the street I'm everywhere
00:47:43
just to see and learn and and and pull inspiration from somewhere and I pulled
00:47:51
a lot of inspiration from different places but that was when I found it like looking at those Clash sting clashes and
00:48:00
jammies and killer monjaro like all that man from Saxon and all of that that was
00:48:06
out here Tipper I and all of them man like them dudes rais me it's so
00:48:11
interesting because what you've described there is kind of like my understanding of what creativity is
00:48:16
where you you pull from so many different almost clouds of inspiration to create a new one yeah and I was
00:48:22
thinking about I was thinking about your kids you you said to me before we start recording you got six kids and they're around like 20 30 years old now
00:48:28
right based on what you now understand about what made you stand out different
00:48:34
the the what it took in terms of your mentality to use the word student there if one of those kids comes to you now
00:48:39
and says Dad what are the fundamentals that I can take from your journey up until that point at say 21 years old
00:48:46
that would increase my chance of success no matter the industry what are those
00:48:53
fundamentals so the fundamentals that I would give my kids which I've
00:48:59
already feel like I've been given to them is the first thing is
00:49:06
identify with what you love and once you love it hone in on
00:49:13
that thing until you can Master it to the point where people can identify that there's
00:49:21
no questioning your love for it that's the first thing
00:49:27
once you love it to the point where your actions speak louder than
00:49:35
anything you could say about how much you love it that is always the root of
00:49:41
whatever success is pre-ordained or destined to come to you no matter what
00:49:48
it is that you choose to do
00:49:53
because what is actually going to create the Reverend is that you're not doing it from a place
00:50:00
of trying to generate the revenue you're going to do this [ __ ]
00:50:07
regardless so it's not about the money for you you're fulfilling
00:50:12
something in your soul in your body there's a feeling that even the money
00:50:19
can't give you there's people that have this money and they still can't find
00:50:24
that feeling man and there's nothing like it this is a feeling that really exists
00:50:32
bro that can actually make you the happiest person in the
00:50:39
world that happens to be my music
00:50:44
because and and my children understand
00:50:50
now I love my children so much and I love my family so much
00:50:57
I'm not playing with anything that I know is going to allow me the opportunity to make sure that I can show
00:51:04
them and I can take care of them and I can without compromise find a way and a
00:51:12
means to securing of the well-being of my family and I found something that I
00:51:20
love that has provided me those means and the ability to do it and I don't
00:51:26
have to question how I'm going to get to that on no day I could be sick I could
00:51:35
be I could be sick and in the hospital and write a
00:51:41
song and even if I'm too weak to say it I could give it to
00:51:48
somebody and work out whatever business I need to work out with that person so they still do that same song God willing
00:51:55
the success of that song that hopefully is garnished reaches a
00:52:01
level of success based on this creation from a feeling that I was inspired by or
00:52:06
from a feeling that I got that I can't explain and I can't give to nobody other than through this
00:52:14
music that will take care of not just my family but it actually might take care
00:52:19
of filling a space in the millions of people's lives that will hear this [ __ ]
00:52:25
that at some Point depending on the impact of the song they [ __ ] around and see you 20 years from now and become the
00:52:33
[ __ ] CEO of Google and will tell you I am a fan I love you what this [ __ ] song
00:52:41
did to for me when I was 10 now I'm 30 and at this moment when I was 10 I
00:52:49
remember wearing this little T-shirt with a yellow [ __ ] balloon face on it
00:52:54
and I had my little bicycle out died and my mother let me play with my two friends two houses down we played
00:53:02
this [ __ ] song 10 times in a row until we had to go
00:53:08
inside and that song changed my life and it gave me the motivation to want to do
00:53:14
this thing evolve into this person think a new way that allowed me to pursue
00:53:19
something that I found that I love and now I'm a [ __ ] $200 million CEO in
00:53:25
Google I'm a fan of your [ __ ] you're still doing what I love and I want to sit down with you and figure out
00:53:31
something magical that we could do together sounds addictive that's very
00:53:37
[ __ ] addictive [ __ ] that that's the most addictive [ __ ] in the world to me
00:53:43
because it's like that's that's greater than man you can't teach somebody how to
00:53:48
do that that's not a book science that's not school you know what I'm saying that
00:53:53
[ __ ] is you identify with this gift we all got the gift this something
00:54:02
that we've all been blessed with at some point if we listen to that [ __ ]
00:54:07
little thing that speaks to us inside some people call it Instinct some
00:54:13
people call it a Vibe some people call it an energy whatever the [ __ ] you call it some people call it a voice whatever
00:54:21
that thing is bro if it Sparks the thought
00:54:26
that changes the whole trajectory to what your life can evolve
00:54:33
into because you took a second to listen to that [ __ ] you are identifying with your
00:54:40
blessing you are identifying with your gift and at that point you learn what
00:54:46
the [ __ ] it is and become one with it and walk in your purpose bro so you
00:54:53
might instill this thing into the lives of so many people
00:54:59
that you live forever through this thing that you've created that's not a man
00:55:05
thing no more that [ __ ] is deeper than man I am absolutely addicted to that
00:55:12
because when you really think about it that [ __ ] is something that's that's
00:55:18
Godly it's weird to me when people find it strange when we call ourselves gods
00:55:24
and earth right because I'm saying what do you want me to be you
00:55:30
want me to be other than God anything other than
00:55:36
its original form is the worst state of its own existence because you're not even
00:55:42
functioning within the nature that you was created to function in so you can't make me call myself devil
00:55:50
likee because you think that it's a Blasphemous act for me to say that I'm Godly or I'm God like or I'm made in the
00:55:57
likeness of the most high that mentality is why I function this
00:56:04
way because I refuse to think that there is nothing that I can't
00:56:10
do Beyond man beyond man if I could sit down here
00:56:18
and smoke a spliff and eat a bowl of cereal and [ __ ] go y
00:56:27
when I step up in the place and when I step your steps correct woa got you in check and the whole [ __ ] planet is
00:56:35
doing it it don't matter what country I go to and then I get to Sweden and they telling me y y y yes yes yes yes yes I
00:56:41
ain't from Sweden I don't know that I just was vibing and bugging out the weed had me and filling away nice little spliff little food
00:56:49
little bowl of cereal and I just was joking in the crib and Y [ __ ] was laughing in my house
00:56:55
I thought it was funny I did this [ __ ] on the record I like funny but I also like serious there's always a balance
00:57:02
between the guys that we found the most entertainment from all of the dudes that was on TV that we like that was the
00:57:08
[ __ ] criminals they was always funny right alucino and Scarface he was a serious [ __ ] but he was funny
00:57:16
Joe pesi and Good Fellas serious but funny right we in the hood we love the
00:57:22
balance between serious and funny I try to incorporate serious and funny and all of my
00:57:28
[ __ ] bottom line is my children the fundamentals I want to give you all find
00:57:36
it love it identify with what you love become one with that thing pursue it to
00:57:42
the point where you become so engulfed in it you don't know nothing else other than that walk in your purpose is what
00:57:49
it evolves into what kind of human beings do they need to be character traits all right this is what it needs
00:57:55
to be some of it might sound [ __ ]
00:58:01
up first thing is you got to be selfish as hell you gotta be
00:58:08
selfish I don't give a [ __ ] it's it's it's it's the it's the sacrifice but without great sacrifice and without
00:58:14
great risk does there is no such thing as a great [Music] reward can't have one there that doesn't
00:58:22
there's no that math will never math you know what I'm saying yeah you
00:58:27
have to have and I don't like this word but I'm going to say it because it's true you have to be a little maniacal
00:58:35
with the [ __ ] maniac right that word isn't good in a lot of situations but
00:58:41
when you're pursuing your destiny when you identify with your destiny you have
00:58:47
to be selfish you have to be maniacal you have to be
00:58:54
uncompromising and you have to move in a way when it comes
00:58:59
to those three things where you function completely in a way where it's
00:59:06
an unwavering Faith like it don't matter how [ __ ] up that [ __ ] might look it
00:59:12
don't matter how much it feel like it ain't gonna work delusional complete
00:59:18
delusion you got to believe the delusion because it's only delusional
00:59:25
until it works so is it really
00:59:30
delusional a [ __ ] only going to call it delusion until it don't work for nobody else to see but for the
00:59:39
whole world to see and then once the world see it there's nothing delusional about it now your delusion becomes oh he
00:59:48
was a [ __ ] genius we didn't see it when he saw it we didn't understand it when he did we
00:59:55
thought this mother [ __ ] was crazy but he definitely always he always figured
01:00:01
this thing was the thing to do and he's he stuck by that [ __ ] when you say selfish obviously that word has got a
01:00:07
lot of different connotations and meanings and but I heard from it that the selfishness is focusing on serving
01:00:14
yourself and your dreams and your mission like you were somewhat selfish when you said I want to be a rapper even
01:00:22
though your father's saying I want you to come and be an electrical contractor that was selfish of you to say no I want
01:00:27
to take care of me first that's selfish I'm meaning even more extreme than
01:00:34
that yes selfish to my father
01:00:40
because and in a way I don't want to I don't want to look at it as what's selfish to him I was just on some I
01:00:46
don't want to do what you want to do that's not really being selfish that's just having a difference in opinion right selfish when I say selfish it
01:00:55
means my children right I've had to miss moments that were
01:01:02
never going to get back I missed my oldest son's High School graduation I
01:01:09
missed one of my daughter's College graduations I've
01:01:15
missed times when I should have been there to teach my child how to drive or I should
01:01:23
have been there to teach my child how to ride out a bike I missed a lot of that
01:01:31
right and a lot of it had to do
01:01:38
with circumstance and my circumstance which I
01:01:43
obviously contributed to creating for myself I had to take responsibility for
01:01:49
these choices that I made and these circumstances that I created for myself and
01:01:56
the the situation that became a real life situation for me left me very few
01:02:05
choices so there was a choice where I could be there for everything and then
01:02:10
the money ain't where it need to be or I'm going to do what I love not just
01:02:17
because I love it and it brings me joy and it brings me peace of mind because I
01:02:25
would go to the studio and when I'm in that studio and I
01:02:30
close the door and then I'm in those four walls I don't have to argue with a
01:02:37
child's mother I don't have to argue with my woman I don't get talk back from people
01:02:46
that choose to have a debate about [ __ ] that ain't even worth debating about all
01:02:51
of the unnecessary distractions I can leave outside of that room room and when I'm in that room I am
01:03:00
fulfilling my destiny I am fulfilling my soul and I'm making myself
01:03:09
get to a place mentally where my peace of mind is so where it needs to be that
01:03:16
not only am I allowed to become feel think and evolve into whatever place my
01:03:24
mind takes me I'm then able to get to that place emotionally spiritually
01:03:30
mentally create something put it in a song change the effect that I can have
01:03:37
as an impact through this thing that I'm blessed with as a gift and then I
01:03:43
could come down off of that and be in a happier
01:03:49
place so that when I do get back around the people that I got to argue with I'm in a better place to deal with
01:03:55
done is there sort of guilt associated with that as you've sort of matured and
01:04:01
and understood and you know had time to reflect on missing those key moments I
01:04:06
worry about this a lot because I'm a workaholic and I think my work is in many respects some kind of psychological
01:04:12
Escape um and I I'm concerned that when I do have a kid I've got a partner we've been together four years I'm 31 now that
01:04:20
I might use my work as an excuse to not be there or I might not make the adj
01:04:28
necessary adjustment to realize that I only get one bike ride moment so I'm going tell you
01:04:38
something there is no right way and no wrong way when it comes to making that decision other than what you know in
01:04:46
your heart I definitely live with guilt I feel like there was things that I could
01:04:54
have done with out to be there for my
01:05:00
children but I also feel like that's me saying that now
01:05:07
right I'm in a different place now in my life than I was at that time and at that
01:05:14
time the mentality that I have now didn't exist then right
01:05:20
and the mentality that needed to exist then for me to get to this mentality now
01:05:27
was important and it was a part of the needed components to exist in my journey
01:05:34
for me to be able to have this conversation now this mentality now was that survival it definitely was
01:05:42
survival when you dealing with four mothers all having you in court systems
01:05:48
all getting significant amount of money for child support all not in the best Place
01:05:56
relationship wise with you sometimes business is up sometimes
01:06:01
business is down you have to be able to be Swift and changeable regardless of the
01:06:08
circumstances in order to stay remain because no matter if business is
01:06:14
up or business is down the courts don't care the child support that needs to
01:06:20
come every month the mothers need to see it because they don't care
01:06:25
when your kids need what they need they don't care because they didn't ask for
01:06:33
this you can't create an excuse that's how I was
01:06:39
raised your kid didn't ask to be put in a situation that you cannot do what
01:06:45
you're supposed to do for them so that's not their problem you have to find a
01:06:50
solution it's a little of pressure it's a lot it's a lot
01:06:57
but I also feel like when you identify with your gift that's part of the gift that's what
01:07:04
makes it the gift because the most high usually don't give us more than we can handle you know and with that being
01:07:12
said all of these things we talking about which is one of the best questions that I love that you asked right what
01:07:18
would I give my kids and I keep coming back to that because I want my kids to
01:07:24
understand that focus on what you love is most
01:07:29
primary being selfish and when I say selfish not just my kids but even my woman there might be a lot of [ __ ] she
01:07:36
want to do I'm sorry I can't do it right
01:07:42
now I can't do it right now I could do it later and then there's moments when
01:07:47
you can do it and you make the time and you do it you know but until there's
01:07:54
another means of me being able to do what I love and find the Fulfillment that I find while
01:08:01
I'm doing what I love this is also a part of who y'all fell in love with I want to talk to you
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that okay just for you guys moments in our life I think help us to see things a
01:10:04
little bit more clearly and especially when they're really um significant moments and one of those moments that I
01:10:10
see in your story is in 2012 um where I think you're 42 years old at the time
01:10:16
and your manager and friend Chris dies rest in peace to
01:10:22
Chris Chris was all that I knew everything everything that I I
01:10:30
learned after Chuck D and Hank shackling them I learned it with Chris I learned
01:10:36
how to make my money with Chris my tax brackets changeed with Chris my lawyers Chang cuz Chris my booking agents
01:10:43
changed with Chris my touring experiences changed with Chris my ability to tell my mother to quit her
01:10:49
job and never had to look back to work for nobody from 1995 to this day all of
01:10:56
that I did it with Chris that day when you find out that Chris is pasted M can
01:11:02
you take me to that day that day was so [ __ ] terrible
01:11:12
bro wow his life changed when this woman
01:11:19
came into his life I'm not going to dive too much into that part
01:11:27
but I'm definitely going to say that Chris's life changed not for the better
01:11:33
when she came around
01:11:38
so once that happened it started to change the energy amongst the Violator
01:11:46
family and I really wish because I don't want this to be heard in a way where it
01:11:52
seemed like I'm [ __ ] on the woman because I'm not [ __ ] on the woman I'm acknowledging the reality of the
01:11:58
situation as you can see I'm not saying nothing bad about the woman I'm just
01:12:04
talking about I'm I'm acknowledging a time period where a
01:12:10
change transpired in a significant way and it happened after this woman came
01:12:15
around that's it long story short I think his daughter was was
01:12:21
coming home from college and he he had to go and meet her at Grand Central Station in
01:12:33
Manhattan so he asked me for a ride to Grand
01:12:39
Central Station and um I give him the lift to Grand Central
01:12:47
Station and that's the last day that I saw him the next
01:12:53
morning I get the call from his
01:12:59
assistant that something happened to him and I'm asking what happened to him
01:13:08
and they just said he hurt himself but they didn't say you know that he was dead it just was like he he hurt
01:13:17
himself the assistant called this young lady I forget her name at the office and
01:13:23
when the young lady answered the phone we're on the
01:13:29
three-way and she's crying and she's screaming on the
01:13:35
phone [Music] and she just kept saying Chris Hur
01:13:40
herself Chris Hurt itself and the assistant is asking her what exactly did he do to
01:13:48
himself and she said she don't know he just hurt
01:13:53
his and then we asked if he if he was dead and then she she said she don't
01:14:02
know so when we got to Chris's [Music]
01:14:08
home we couldn't go in the house and uh it wasn't
01:14:19
until you saw the Corin van come
01:14:26
and when you saw the van and then they reversed the van into
01:14:31
the driveway to get us close to the door of the
01:14:38
house CU it was a downstairs door and then there was the regular door to go up
01:14:43
the stairs and you go in the house from the front but whatever happened to him
01:14:48
it happened downstairs cuz that's where his body was
01:14:55
and they went inside and they um they brought them black bags with them them body bags and
01:15:05
uh that's when it that's when it got real that's when it changed everything changed when you
01:15:12
saw you saw the bags and
01:15:20
uh we knew um
01:15:27
when they came out the uh when they came out the basement with
01:15:34
the bags and his body was in the bags that's when you know Chris was
01:15:41
never coming back so uh you know the crying
01:15:48
started and a lot of arguing started
01:15:55
a threat started and
01:16:02
uh my life was going in a whole another Direction after
01:16:07
that and I didn't like it cuz I was confused about how to
01:16:15
move and I was lost for a minute because uh
01:16:25
I never really had to manage my career without a manager and he wasn't just a manager he
01:16:33
was my brother so it got scary for a
01:16:38
minute I couldn't get it together that's why I didn't put on no record for nine
01:16:46
years and um I started to just do different type
01:16:53
of business with signing artist and
01:17:02
uh um that's when we put out OT
01:17:08
Genesis and um we had some really good success with
01:17:14
him and um signed a few other artists you know
01:17:20
this one artist by the name of stove stove God cooks and I signed
01:17:26
you know another young artist by the name of murder Mo and I
01:17:32
um I wasn't happy though with with just doing it like that and I just I didn't
01:17:39
feel comfortable putting out music until I got the right support system in place
01:17:45
and I I couldn't get it together when you say you couldn't get it together what does that what does
01:17:51
that mean that means like psychologically you could couldn't get it together psychologically I couldn't
01:17:57
get it together because I didn't feel like I had a support system that I could believe in enough to make me feel like I
01:18:04
am psychologically able to move with the
01:18:09
Comfort the confidence and the support that I know I'm going to need and the
01:18:15
responsibility of trying to wear all of the hats myself I was doing it but I
01:18:20
wasn't doing it at the level that Chris Lighty was able to do it you agree g at the same time absolutely because I lost
01:18:28
my father two years after Chris the two most important male
01:18:33
figures in my life Chris was gone 2012 I lost my father
01:18:40
2014 and you had reconciled with him before I definitely reconciled with him before he passed the problem
01:18:47
is I didn't get to enjoy my time with him once we got good so that was a
01:18:53
horrible feeling too because it's like all of the time that was wasted
01:19:01
[ __ ] not getting along was was
01:19:06
stupid [ __ ] stupid you know what I'm saying that's part of the reason why I
01:19:12
started to really like get unhealthy and [ __ ] up I was trying everything to
01:19:17
drown the pain and the frustration and the suffering of those losses
01:19:25
about overworking over drinking over smoking weed and
01:19:32
cigarettes and it got so bad that I got to the weight of 340 lbs I never been
01:19:40
that I'm I'm not even built to be that heavy it's it's funny it's like I look
01:19:46
back at certain pictures and I looked at how overweight I was I look at my skin yeah there's certain pictures I had I
01:19:52
had these like marks on my face I I hate those pictures like I see the
01:20:00
darkness in those pictures yo there's this book called The Body holds the score but the title is just the thing
01:20:06
that I I I've I've actually gained the most from it just says that when there's things going on in our psychology and
01:20:12
our mind the body will show it yeah man we'll eat we'll drink we won't sleep but
01:20:17
you'll see it in the body before you see it in the mind the mind is invisible obviously right the body is the first place to see it and I was reading
01:20:23
through that phase of your life and you were on sort of breathing machines when you were sleeping and things like I
01:20:28
wasn't on a breathing machine I had sleep apnea sleep apnea yeah yeah yeah I had sleep apnea I was um you drank
01:20:33
yourself into a coma at one point I drank myself into not a coma I drank
01:20:39
myself into an inability to wake myself up oh okay I had to be W woken up by my
01:20:46
son in my security in La it took like 45 minutes and we had just come back from
01:20:51
hanging out at a club called poppies he sat me down the next day he was like
01:20:59
listen I don't want to hurt your feelings cuz you're my
01:21:05
father and I don't even know if I got the strength to say it to you now but I had a conversation with the
01:21:11
security I need you to listen to them because I'm too scared to tell you how I
01:21:17
feel that's how bad it was my son ain't never speak to me like
01:21:24
that in my life but I needed to hear it but he couldn't even say it to me
01:21:31
because that's how much he still was trying to protect my
01:21:38
feelings but this is the first time that I knew I really disappointed my
01:21:44
son all that Bust Around [ __ ] was cool up until this
01:21:50
moment when he saw this [ __ ] and he been seeing it but this is
01:21:56
when it hits the low that conversation [ __ ] me up the next day the doctor with the prednisone and I went to the
01:22:03
doctor I'm breathing so [ __ ] up that outside of the door the doctor was like
01:22:09
yo why you breathing like that and he wasn't even in the room with me he's coming in the room and I said breathing
01:22:16
like what because I was doing it this so for so long over the last three years that I was it was starting to sound
01:22:22
normal to me the doctor said I'm sending you to the hospital cuz he stuck this [ __ ] in my throat and when he saw how
01:22:27
big the [ __ ] palps was it blocked 90% of my breathing passage he said if he sends me home and
01:22:34
I take a shower and the central air system is blowing and I catch a draft
01:22:40
that can lead to me catching a cold and that last 10% of my breathing gets
01:22:45
blocked up because of a swollen gr from a sore throat or some [ __ ] I can die in
01:22:51
my sleep that night he said I got to call an ambulance
01:22:56
for you I'm in California La he says I need you to go right now to UCL Medical
01:23:03
Center into the emergency room and I'm going to call the head person at the hospital to have them admit you
01:23:09
immediately you need to go into surgery tomorrow I said I ain't going in no
01:23:16
ambulance he said well then you have to sign this document that will exemplify me if you don't listen and something
01:23:22
happens and you die between now when you get to the hospital I ain't never been spoken to like this in my
01:23:29
life this is when I knew this [ __ ] was crazy my son now I'm calling him telling
01:23:35
him to meet me at the hospital we get to the hospital and I'm in the doctor's office and they doing all little
01:23:41
preliminary [ __ ] before they got to admit me into the emergency my son is talking to me and he
01:23:47
tells
01:23:52
me I thought you was going to die last
01:23:58
night and I ain't never been this scared that but I'm I'm scared you're gonna die
01:24:05
I lost Grandpa already I can't lose you too can you please stop drinking can you
01:24:12
please stop smoking can you please get back to the daddy that I know you to
01:24:19
be finished me at that
01:24:26
point I made up my mind I'mma get this surgery when I get this surgery I'm
01:24:32
going to get in shape I go home on the way home Dexter Jackson bodybuilder competitor who's to
01:24:40
compete in the Olympia he became a Mr Olympia champ this man pops
01:24:48
up in my stories driving in his car in Jacksonville Florida and he spit
01:24:54
the vocals to put your hands when my eyes could see and then I hit him in the DM and I said Mr Jackson I'm a huge fan
01:25:03
of you as a professional bodybuilder is there any way that we
01:25:08
could get on the phone I need your help he hits me back he sends me his
01:25:13
number I call him on the phone I said thanks for calling me I salute you
01:25:20
Mr Jackson can we please figure out a way to get me back in shape and man said
01:25:28
to me you saw you ready bus and I said absolutely he said you got to come to
01:25:33
Jacksonville and you got to stay here for 30 days tell your girl she can't come tell
01:25:41
your kids you'll see them in 30 days I need to put you through something for 30
01:25:46
days before we continue this journey you survived this 30 days I know you serious
01:25:55
I rented a [ __ ] Mansion for like seven bedrooms I went and got a cameraman to document it my meal prep
01:26:01
Chef M massuse cuz I knew that that workout was going to [ __ ] me up every day and I needed somebody to rub these
01:26:07
muscles up I got my recording engineer so I didn't need to leave the house I
01:26:12
got an assistant and that was about it stayed in the
01:26:19
[ __ ] crib for 30 days lost about 27 pounds in 30 days
01:26:25
days these dudes that I'm surrounded by by way of my first bodybuilding
01:26:33
competitor trainer Victor Munoz and my second primary trainer the legendary Mr
01:26:40
Olympia himself Dexter Jackson I was able to get my [ __ ] together
01:26:47
bro and once I got my health and once I got my mind and I got my spirit right
01:26:56
and I started to be proud of me when I looked at me and my kids was looking at me and they would say [ __ ] that you
01:27:03
could only hear once you did what you needed to do
01:27:08
and put in the work you needed to put in so that it
01:27:13
shows they not g to say it if it don't look like the way they need to see it so they could say what they need to
01:27:20
say when that happened you hearing the right [ __ ] you feeling
01:27:27
the right love that [ __ ] was lifting my spirit so much and then I'mma tell you
01:27:39
something going through this pandemic was another serious challenge mentally and emotionally and
01:27:47
spiritually my brothers farel Williams and swiss beats and big up to Timberland to cuz
01:27:54
all four of them is the executive producers of this new album Blockbuster which is out right now absolutely the
01:28:00
Blockbuster album is out and I'm super grateful to everybody that participated in helping this magic happen and come
01:28:06
together this is this is the culmination of all of the experience and all of the life stories that we've talked about but
01:28:12
the thing that really stood out to me is you've made the decision to put people on this album who are young upand
01:28:18
cominging fresher artists who you haven't really worked with previously and you've worked with bloody everybody everybody but you chose to give these
01:28:25
younger artists the platform for some reason two reasons the first reason is I'm never
01:28:33
gonna listen to The Narrative of this thing
01:28:39
where I would hear it a little more regularly than I
01:28:44
actually choose to hear it I actually don't ever want to hear it but it's this [ __ ] about how the Elder Statesmen
01:28:52
or the older MC's don't really respect what the new guys is doing that [ __ ] is
01:28:57
[ __ ] at least speaking from myself and the the
01:29:03
type of artist that I surround myself with we don't feel like that and we don't move like that we encourage that
01:29:09
[ __ ] because when we was young artists we wanted the big dudes to put their arms around us and give us game and
01:29:15
school us and teach us [ __ ] so we could be better you know what I'm saying Chuck D gave me my name Big Daddy Kane used to
01:29:22
let me come to his crib and ask questions he put me on his albums he used to help me learn let me learn bring
01:29:29
me the shows that he was performing at [ __ ] um De La Soul they did the same
01:29:35
[ __ ] for us like too many MC's gave us the guidance
01:29:41
that made me great I feel like it's only right that we do the same [ __ ] for the next generation of [ __ ]
01:29:46
especially if they dope and I'm a fan of a lot of these new artists and I want to work with them
01:29:53
because they still inspiring me to want to go in the studio and stay razor blade sharp with my [ __ ] when I got to do my
01:29:59
[ __ ] you know what I'm saying and I see a lot of them paying homage there's a lot of [ __ ] walking around with
01:30:05
their hairstyles like how I used to wear with my dress there's a lot of [ __ ] that dress and they throw they heavy jewelry on that do it the way
01:30:11
I used to do it and still do it I just ain't got the dredge No More but all that other [ __ ] we still doing it but I
01:30:18
just want to make sure that they they know we're not only here to give them the answers and the mentorship ship and
01:30:24
the guidance and the information so they could be that much more sharper when they're being creative or when they're
01:30:29
sitting in the [ __ ] corporate office negotiating a deal with the lawyers and their managers but I also want them to
01:30:35
know that we love them too with fans of what
01:30:41
they doing we see y'all paying homage and we want y'all to know we paying homage to y'all too one of the things I
01:30:47
always think is destined to own the future is when the when both the past and present come together and say that
01:30:54
with all due respect because sometimes people see projects like this as you passing the torch but what you're
01:31:00
actually doing is sharing the flame sharing the [ __ ] flame you couldn't have said it better cuz I ain't I ain't
01:31:06
putting flame out no time soon well you're 33 years deep and it's still you're still selling out the shows and
01:31:11
doing the Arenas and killing the game and I I'm I'm so excited by this project
01:31:17
because for those reasons because you have you have two sort of generations coming together to create the future and
01:31:23
that's what so exciting and I have to say from this conversation everything you say and understanding the man that
01:31:29
buster is puts so much more meaning into the lyrics into the album and the records so everyone needs to go check
01:31:34
this album out right now wherever you stream anything please go check it out cuz it's one hell of a project and
01:31:40
you're you know you talked about that Google CEO who you inspired when he was 10 years old you were that person and
01:31:46
you still are that person for me thank you King so it's such an honor to have to to get to spend this time with you today thank you likewise man
01:31:56
the questions you asked the places you went I didn't expect it I'm glad I wasn't prepped I'm
01:32:03
glad I wasn't prepped I'm glad you know what I'm saying I just was given a prerequisite of how important you mean
01:32:11
in this space in your platform and congratulations to the your evolution in your success with
01:32:18
what you've been able to create for yourself thank you and becoming a successful businessman I was driven in
01:32:23
inspired by the story that I was being told about you and I was like oh no [ __ ] that I got to come pull up and I'm
01:32:30
taking my time I appreciate because we're gonna do this [ __ ] properly and I've never done an interview in 33 years
01:32:37
never done an interview interview this in depth number two I ain't never sat with nobody this [ __ ] long and
01:32:43
did no interview in in Europe in my life neither so you you got you hold a record
01:32:48
bro I appreciate you honestly it's the it's one of the greatest honors of me ever getting to do this is is here in
01:32:54
that from you so thank you so much P thank you it's an honor and a pleasure brother appreciate you
01:32:59
[Music]
01:33:19
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