00:00:00
Dana yeah what do you got well we have
00:00:04
Eliza slesinger today who is uh comedian
00:00:09
I actually see a lot down at the old
00:00:11
clubs and colleges I play I have yeah
00:00:15
she goes to Comedy Store she's she works
00:00:17
man she's a she grinds it out like Nikki
00:00:20
there're are these I'm not gonna say
00:00:23
these women yeah it's just really these
00:00:25
Comics just grind it out and she's good
00:00:29
I think I see her kill I I follow her a
00:00:32
lot she comes in cuz she does like three
00:00:34
a night and cuz she's got a special
00:00:37
coming out you know this the uh the
00:00:40
Amazon Prime special oh the one called a
00:00:43
different animal that's right March 11th
00:00:46
I think Amazon Prime and that's going to
00:00:49
be a good one because I've seen some of
00:00:50
the stuff she's doing on it uh yeah she
00:00:53
talks uh well you know she talks uh
00:00:55
she's got so much great stuff and she's
00:00:57
had so many specials she's been out out
00:01:00
there books specials podcast she does it
00:01:03
all and it's all working and um we get
00:01:06
to talk to her just about her process
00:01:09
and uh I love that word her process she
00:01:12
she's someone who went to her first open
00:01:14
mic and then was a headliner in clubs
00:01:17
within three years which uh is not easy
00:01:21
to do hard took me a lot longer than
00:01:23
that took me three years to learn how to
00:01:25
hold the mic three years I had about you
00:01:29
know 14 minutes I I mean honestly you
00:01:32
think you have an hour you don't no so
00:01:35
she had a killer hour in 36 months of
00:01:38
standup she has a cool name we talk
00:01:40
about how people just you know like I
00:01:42
was always instead of Dana KY it was
00:01:44
Dana Garney horrible introductions early
00:01:47
on in your career yours was oh I gave
00:01:49
her I gave her a bad introduction too I
00:01:51
didn't even mess up this lesser part
00:01:54
there's a controversy about there
00:01:56
controvery there was a big thing that
00:01:58
happened between Ela and David and we
00:02:01
talk about that and we talk about what
00:02:03
she wears on stage her marriage it's a
00:02:06
fun episode I really enjoyed talking
00:02:07
with Eliza without further Ado here she
00:02:11
[Music]
00:02:15
is he was like a John balushi thing yeah
00:02:17
you got it going man he hated women oh
00:02:19
no John balushi hated women yeah yeah
00:02:23
it's he's like famous for for quoting a
00:02:25
good start what do you I like pizza I
00:02:27
like movies and I hate women he was he's
00:02:30
famous he's famous for saying women
00:02:32
aren't funny and I only think about that
00:02:34
because journalists always bring it up
00:02:36
and I'm like he's dead so I guess I win
00:02:39
HS follow forever have you ever been
00:02:41
like you read something and Eliza said
00:02:44
this and it's completely made up
00:02:46
obviously have not or just like a half
00:02:49
quote and you're like I'm sorry that I
00:02:50
said that like half awake on a podcast
00:02:52
in 2010 like do I still need to yeah
00:02:56
remember my my Firm Stance on dogs
00:02:58
versus cats on a sandwi which being a
00:03:00
pea going out on a limb literally dude
00:03:04
Peta had a good run I mean that pea
00:03:07
bread that was a good bit for well like
00:03:09
Stoner podcast people have to be like oh
00:03:11
no is a is a tender McNugget is a pita a
00:03:14
sandwich and you're like the world's on
00:03:15
fire I don't I don't know well it's
00:03:18
literally on fire literally I was going
00:03:21
to say it was too soon but when I said
00:03:25
last night to someone well this is rude
00:03:27
we'll take it out but I said uh I said
00:03:30
oh where do you live and they said and
00:03:33
Ceno and I said oh did you get have any
00:03:36
problems with what happened in the
00:03:38
Palisades they said no and I said oh
00:03:40
even the Fire doesn't want to go to the
00:03:41
valley and then and they just stared at
00:03:44
me and I go no but actually so it was
00:03:46
horrible so everything okay I had to
00:03:48
skim over it you know what I mean I'm
00:03:50
gonna defend Ino right here the first
00:03:52
house casino and I would go over the
00:03:55
malland hill into the Hella Hollywood
00:03:58
Hollywood party who loves you go back to
00:04:00
the country I'm defending I'm going on
00:04:02
record defending I likeo do you I the
00:04:06
first TV show I ever shot we shot it in
00:04:09
enino in like a mansion it was like a
00:04:11
reality show and I had no real reference
00:04:14
for it but as I get older you're like oh
00:04:16
that's where all the money in the valley
00:04:17
goes like if you want to live like a
00:04:19
millionaire in Kansas City buy your
00:04:22
house in enino and you can live like a
00:04:24
person is the nice version is it like
00:04:27
closer to the mountain is better that
00:04:30
way but it's on the flats but you want
00:04:32
to be south of ventur you don't want to
00:04:35
be in the crime ridden areas although
00:04:37
they have their advantages and fun too
00:04:40
um was this show called The
00:04:42
Bachelor no it was called you would only
00:04:45
know this if you had trouble sleeping
00:04:47
and or a a Coke addiction because it
00:04:49
aired so late um well what was the
00:04:52
subject of it let us see if we can guess
00:04:53
the title what was the idea of the show
00:04:56
it was called Excused and it was like a
00:04:58
dating show people was the host people
00:05:00
would date oh yeah I did we did 230
00:05:04
episodes holy [ __ ] I have eaten the
00:05:07
bigger issue is that no one knows the
00:05:08
show but I have eaten at every single
00:05:10
restaurant in
00:05:12
enino out there I love Rosa and enino if
00:05:15
there was a lunch special if there was a
00:05:17
sushi bar I ate there who does two what
00:05:20
network was that on how did I miss a
00:05:23
230
00:05:24
episode it's like s it's like I'm I mean
00:05:28
it's like friends minus the money it was
00:05:30
syndicated it was CBS Studios so it was
00:05:34
picked up in all these crazy markets so
00:05:35
every once in a while I'll get some like
00:05:37
dude in skinny jeans that's it's like I
00:05:38
used to watch you when I was getting
00:05:40
ready for my shift skinny jeans I used
00:05:43
to watch you before I go to Ruckers did
00:05:46
you like it it wasn't really for me you
00:05:48
ever get a backhand compliment I I heard
00:05:50
you're pretty funny but it's not for me
00:05:52
man I saw some of your stuff I I sto I
00:05:55
stopped watching when you got married I
00:05:57
stopped watching oh did they say that oh
00:06:00
it's you can take the go with the bed
00:06:02
you get all kinds of weird compliments
00:06:04
that I'm like look you would still love
00:06:06
to have sex with me we both know it but
00:06:08
thank you so much for buying this ticket
00:06:10
and enjoy the Improv enjoy the show I
00:06:12
want to walk around with that attitude
00:06:15
you want to have sex with me we both
00:06:17
know it we both want it uh you could we
00:06:20
both want it but I am married and so
00:06:22
it's tough but yeah but do women
00:06:26
comedians who are photogenic let's put
00:06:29
it this way attract the creep element
00:06:32
more than the stud dudes that the in I
00:06:36
guess I can't comment on more than uh
00:06:39
because I but I think it's not even
00:06:41
about being attractive I think you just
00:06:44
as a woman you just like leave the house
00:06:46
you're like here I am and then the
00:06:47
universe is like well here's the list of
00:06:49
weirdos that are going to make it tough
00:06:50
for you no matter what you look like so
00:06:53
I don't even know if being attractive
00:06:56
matters guys are just like hey let's do
00:07:00
this they'll figure it out later if
00:07:01
you're attractive they just need some
00:07:03
they just need to get something going I
00:07:04
mean it's defin I've definitely talked
00:07:06
to male comics big male Comics lesser
00:07:08
known ones that have I mean I think
00:07:10
stalkers come in I think mental illness
00:07:12
knows no gender and yes that's your next
00:07:16
that your next
00:07:18
special good hookie title yeah because
00:07:21
it includes everyone Ali Wong always
00:07:24
slams when she gets on stage she goes
00:07:27
like Paulie Shore brings her up she goes
00:07:28
paully there's so many girls that would
00:07:30
[ __ ] this guy's the grossest guy out
00:07:32
there all male Comics are gross and all
00:07:34
these girls will [ __ ] them it's so rud
00:07:36
we're all in the back on now here here I
00:07:39
am now here here let this meeting come
00:07:41
to order now see here oh I thought you
00:07:44
meant here here like I I like I agree
00:07:46
with that like I like say here here yeah
00:07:50
I say uh I think uh most male Comics are
00:07:54
would Proclaim themselves degenerate
00:07:57
scumbags and I think they wear it
00:07:58
proudly and and you become a comic cuz
00:08:01
you're like look we can all agree I'm
00:08:03
physically repulsive right but if you
00:08:04
can make a woman laugh I mean it's dis
00:08:07
we've all heard that rumor yeah and I
00:08:09
always say music I mean comedy is like
00:08:11
music where how what kind of Comedy are
00:08:14
you doing are you like it's like saying
00:08:16
I like music it's too General so oh you
00:08:19
can make a girl laugh that's on their
00:08:22
wavelength like what kind do you like
00:08:24
dry humor do you like goofy do you like
00:08:26
so sometimes you do sync up with someone
00:08:29
because of that of course I mean if
00:08:31
that's your only listen I wasn't famous
00:08:33
in high school there's nothing going on
00:08:34
it's just all trying to be funny that's
00:08:36
all and you're a platform go ahead Li
00:08:39
well I was just going to say what's
00:08:40
weird just for a moment if I could I
00:08:43
pull back the current well you said you
00:08:44
weren't famous in high school but like
00:08:46
and I don't I watched you guys in high
00:08:48
school and that's what's crazy for me oh
00:08:51
wow yeah yeah yeah and like just shoot
00:08:53
me chopping broccoli the church lady
00:08:56
like I I mean I know all of your resumes
00:08:59
and David sometime some parts of the
00:09:02
Year you and I share a similar haircut
00:09:04
but and and we were on many lineups
00:09:07
together and Dana I've never met you but
00:09:09
it is very weird to finally talk to
00:09:12
people and I felt this way when I met
00:09:14
you David where you're like oh my God
00:09:15
like you were my reference for so many
00:09:18
funny things for all the sketches I
00:09:20
wrote in high school and oh I mean
00:09:22
that's great is that that's nice right I
00:09:24
mean David I probably never got to talk
00:09:27
to about this because we always see each
00:09:28
other in passing but like I don't think
00:09:31
there was any one of the most impactful
00:09:33
sketches was like the Gap girl sketch
00:09:35
and Dana like my mom bought me the
00:09:39
Wayne's World on VHS as a surprise for a
00:09:41
sleepover I memorized the whole movie
00:09:44
like you guys are massive bricks in like
00:09:48
a comedy Fortress that I've like built
00:09:51
in my mind and so this is I like that
00:09:54
this is crazy I totally get that you
00:09:57
know the things that I saw like if i'
00:09:59
met John CLE uh at a certain I still oh
00:10:04
good I want to
00:10:05
wake but I get if you're in your
00:10:08
formative I say 6 to 12 or 134 that time
00:10:13
frame shows you watch comedians you see
00:10:15
so we get it but of course you know now
00:10:17
that we're just people who were went to
00:10:20
a club on a bet and then ended up on
00:10:22
television we get it you don't can you
00:10:25
kind of emotionally or mentally touch
00:10:27
your Fame and how much
00:10:30
accolades and money you're making doing
00:10:32
this is it or is it still a little bit
00:10:34
surreal you're pretty young it's uh I
00:10:38
don't know there's I it is it's
00:10:41
grounding and surreal at the same time
00:10:43
like sometimes you look around you're
00:10:44
like oh my God like every Stitch of
00:10:47
everything in this really nice house is
00:10:49
because I thought to make a joke about
00:10:52
something and then I look at weird all
00:10:55
the things I don't have and I'm like and
00:10:56
you could be making more jokes and have
00:10:58
nicer things if you got out of bed
00:11:00
quicker I think we all on the weird you
00:11:04
always look to someone that's sort of
00:11:05
wellknown and you grew up with and you
00:11:07
forget that they're sitting there going
00:11:09
I could do more I could do better that's
00:11:11
all you're thinking all the time is like
00:11:13
work on my ACT work on this try to get
00:11:15
this going where are you at on the
00:11:17
disciplines uh you know because we've
00:11:19
met different people on this podcast who
00:11:21
really do Workshop like Nick Nikki
00:11:24
Glazer you know uh Jim
00:11:26
Gaffigan it's an amazing thing how how
00:11:29
how effortless was or how hard was it
00:11:32
for you to get a position on standup
00:11:35
mountain did it come quickly or was it a
00:11:39
grind or I don't know your what it came
00:11:41
relatively quickly I think I got my
00:11:44
position relatively quickly because I
00:11:46
became like a solid touring headliner uh
00:11:49
in 2008 and when did you this I started
00:11:52
when I was 21 so 200 what well 20 I I
00:11:57
gradu wait I graduated college I started
00:12:01
when I was a so I graduated college in
00:12:03
like 2004 2005 and so I did it for about
00:12:05
3 years okay became a touring
00:12:07
professional after wow that's fantastic
00:12:11
and this was you know it's it was when
00:12:13
it was and so I was able to sort of
00:12:15
become a headliner and bypass a lot of
00:12:18
sexual harassment uh very early on um
00:12:22
shocking but I don't know David could
00:12:23
tell you I mean he sees me out I'm out
00:12:26
when I'm not on tour I'm out every
00:12:27
almost every night of the week
00:12:29
um I mean you're jumping club to club
00:12:32
right yeah and and it's something that
00:12:35
you think would like kind of like
00:12:37
lighten up over time but I'm about to
00:12:39
turn 42 and if I'm not on the road I'll
00:12:42
knock back like two or three sets a
00:12:44
night just to Just For the Love of it
00:12:47
you know you Rec do you record always or
00:12:50
do you just go and do it you know do you
00:12:53
remember it it's hard to remember for me
00:12:55
I tend to if I do record I have trouble
00:12:58
listening back so I tend to I can't I'm
00:13:01
like who wants to hear this this is
00:13:03
awful uh I tend to listen back if it's a
00:13:06
brand new joke like my new special is
00:13:09
out on Amazon March 11th and so I've
00:13:11
already started different animal a
00:13:13
different animal Amazon Prime Amazon
00:13:16
Prime not regular you can get your while
00:13:20
you're watching me you can shop for air
00:13:21
filters toilet paper Chinese socks you
00:13:25
know this is kind of a this is inside
00:13:27
baseball I love that phrase but uh
00:13:30
sometimes uh when you're trying Tobit
00:13:32
your setup just happens to be
00:13:34
perfect maybe sometimes CU it's a new
00:13:37
bit and then if you don't record it or
00:13:39
you don't remember you're like oh [ __ ]
00:13:40
it's not working as well what was that
00:13:42
setup that made enter the joke perfectly
00:13:45
you know it's frustrating it's
00:13:47
frustrating what I have done and I've
00:13:50
I've done this I don't rely on this but
00:13:52
I have a pretty close relationship like
00:13:54
if you follow me you're a pretty decent
00:13:56
fan I will put on my own Instagram
00:13:59
stories hey if you were at the 8:00 at
00:14:02
the theater tonight what was that thing
00:14:04
I said about pigeons and people or I'll
00:14:07
say it on say be like could somebody
00:14:09
text that to me and someone always
00:14:11
remembers it that's smart I CR sour my
00:14:14
own memories and phrasing I'll tell you
00:14:16
Liza I'm the same way first of all I saw
00:14:19
we were on the same show probably three
00:14:20
nights ago but I have to say when I do
00:14:23
it I don't know what it I like to do new
00:14:26
bits I record them but I it's almost
00:14:30
worse to listen to them it's awful
00:14:33
because it's so sickening that I have to
00:14:35
make myself go I recorded I did it the
00:14:39
right way I just have to hear it or
00:14:41
write it down so I memorize like just
00:14:43
the phrasing because it worked and then
00:14:45
it's so lazy but it's something
00:14:47
sickening about it repels me to and I
00:14:50
have to like I do another show and I
00:14:52
wait all day and then I go I got to just
00:14:53
hear it and go that is how to do it okay
00:14:56
but it's so hard to make yourself do
00:14:57
that it's hard hard to I mean I recently
00:15:01
you know I got all the promo cuts for my
00:15:04
Amazon special and I I have to watch
00:15:06
myself back and I have to take like a
00:15:08
deep cleansing breath gross yeah and
00:15:11
it's weird it's like so this is
00:15:13
something I wish on other people but I
00:15:15
can't watch myself like there's
00:15:17
something very very removed about all of
00:15:19
it like you have the ego to get up there
00:15:22
but actually digesting yourself for
00:15:25
yourself is a weird existential kind of
00:15:28
torture
00:15:30
and how long did you do your special
00:15:32
tape it and then how so you taped it and
00:15:34
you said you're already working
00:15:36
on do you want a full new hour or do you
00:15:39
want mostly new before you go out or
00:15:41
what do you want yeah I mean the
00:15:43
timeline to to the to the average
00:15:46
civilian the timeline is seems different
00:15:49
than it is because and you guys know
00:15:50
this by the time people see your hour
00:15:54
you've already been on the road and
00:15:56
working because it's like a 4mon Time
00:15:59
period between when you record it and
00:16:01
when it's actually released but even
00:16:03
yeah and even prior to recording it you
00:16:05
had jokes that didn't make it or jokes
00:16:07
you were taking out that you still want
00:16:08
to work on so it's you're just
00:16:10
constantly the other night I actually
00:16:13
got up and I seldom do this with just a
00:16:15
list of jokes that I that I've written
00:16:17
that I've written down that I haven't
00:16:18
gotten to and I just read them and then
00:16:21
we'll just start with those little just
00:16:24
see what what pops out you're right
00:16:26
sometimes it's a bit of a trick give us
00:16:27
one of these jokes yeah give us one sure
00:16:29
okay sure sure uh I basic I want to
00:16:34
explore um the absolute rage that I
00:16:39
feel my I have to preface it by saying
00:16:42
my husband is awesome we have a lovely
00:16:44
relationship he wakes up at like 5:00
00:16:47
a.m. he gets our daughter ready he makes
00:16:49
all of us breakfast he does
00:16:52
everything he's elegant he supports wom
00:16:55
like he's the best the absolute abject
00:16:58
rage I feel toward him when he takes a
00:17:01
when he takes a
00:17:03
nap like he needs it for his so he won't
00:17:07
collapse so he'll live there's just
00:17:09
something too gentle I'm like why don't
00:17:11
you take your nap you little gentle
00:17:12
toddler why don't you take that little
00:17:14
baby nap and rest your eyes like this
00:17:17
he's been up for 18 hours like he has to
00:17:20
take a nap so he doesn't I didn't see
00:17:21
this napping on your resume I don't
00:17:23
think we would have had a first date if
00:17:24
I knew you napped all day and you're
00:17:25
like he's like I get five minutes a day
00:17:27
just relax it's a 1 hour nap and I'm
00:17:29
like but what if I need to talk to you
00:17:31
like it's so it's less that it's more
00:17:34
about making fun of the unjustified
00:17:36
anger it's never an anger an actual
00:17:38
anger toward him that is funny that
00:17:40
you're just enraged you're not kind of
00:17:41
bothered or a little bugged you're just
00:17:43
furious is funny I yeah I just someone
00:17:46
would be like hey can you ask Noah a
00:17:48
question I'll be like don't know because
00:17:49
he's in the Land of Nod so I guess we'll
00:17:52
just put our lives on hold while he naps
00:17:55
meanwhile it's 1 hour everything's fine
00:17:57
is he on a couch public publicly or is
00:17:59
he in a bedroom with the door no he
00:18:01
retreats to the bedroom and no one can
00:18:04
go in
00:18:05
there sh trying to he's trying to I'm
00:18:08
getting mad too I'm getting [ __ ]
00:18:09
pissed at this guy if I was at your
00:18:11
house talking to you guys and he was
00:18:14
quietly going in the other room I'm like
00:18:15
where are you going you probably say
00:18:17
going were you creeping off too I need
00:18:19
you na time yeah I got to talk to you
00:18:21
about a conversation I had with a female
00:18:23
friend can you get back here a female
00:18:25
friend female friend here's what you
00:18:27
tell your husband to say which will make
00:18:29
it slightly funny and less annoying oh
00:18:31
Eliza um I'm going to take to my
00:18:35
bed that sounds like he's ill like take
00:18:38
to the water well or it's very Regal
00:18:40
it's a king no it could be worse take to
00:18:43
my bed take that does sound like you're
00:18:45
sick uh because I also remember you were
00:18:48
in the road to wellville so I wonder if
00:18:50
that's oh you saw that I did see that
00:18:52
who was Dana me yeah he played like
00:18:56
a street weirdo guy excuse me who was uh
00:19:00
Anthony Hopkins was my dad and I got I
00:19:03
said unhoused I said unhoused it was an
00:19:06
unhoused hobo I got to hang out with Sir
00:19:08
Anthony Hopkins or uh Tony um but then
00:19:12
the last day there I I just said see you
00:19:15
hoppy but anyway we're close that was
00:19:18
we're close that was a a thrill being
00:19:21
with him you know just couldn't couldn't
00:19:23
imagine anything more you played an onh
00:19:25
house bum an on house like when you
00:19:27
combine the good and the bad creeping
00:19:29
around this mansion in Upstate New York
00:19:32
and terrorizing Bridget Fonda yeah I
00:19:35
actually have been to that it's called
00:19:37
Uh Mohawk Lodge yes and it is haunted
00:19:40
right I mean anything old is going to be
00:19:42
haunted I mean but we used to go there
00:19:45
my dad used to take us there really when
00:19:48
we were kids yeah it's so Random it's in
00:19:51
wait Eliz is it called Mohonk yeah m o
00:19:54
ho o and didn't we do a SNL Retreat
00:19:57
there or no retreat in New York in
00:19:59
Mohonk it's in uh not p uh platsburg
00:20:04
Platz something it's it's up there by
00:20:06
Huds it's like way way up up the Hudson
00:20:10
did you remember that we all went Eliza
00:20:12
all the cast went up I was there I was
00:20:15
on I was in the cast I was on SNL you
00:20:18
were there yeah I I didn't do a lot that
00:20:21
year you could have been there for three
00:20:23
seasons as a 10-year-old feature player
00:20:26
just never got on yeah you could have
00:20:27
played the the the Junior High girl with
00:20:30
the ponytail what's
00:20:35
up I will tell you I showed I my
00:20:38
daughter's just turned three and so it's
00:20:40
on me to show her what's funny so I
00:20:42
showed her a bunch of In Living Color
00:20:44
and then I was like you need to see this
00:20:46
sketch it's called Matt Foley whatever
00:20:49
whatever he was and it was the one with
00:20:50
you and Christina Applegate oh yeah when
00:20:52
he falls on the table and I was trying
00:20:55
to explain to her why that's funny when
00:20:57
someone Falls onto furniture and that
00:21:00
took the funny right out of it did she
00:21:02
react to it I mean she's three that's
00:21:04
nope but she will she will ask for it in
00:21:07
like six months she'll be like I want to
00:21:08
see the furniture guy and then you'll be
00:21:10
like I will pull it back up the
00:21:11
furniture guy yeah does she watch Miss
00:21:14
Rachel no really just never thought
00:21:18
about it I thought that was the big hook
00:21:21
no but we watch a lot of uh Michael
00:21:24
Jackson Thriller on repeat the whole
00:21:26
video oh my gosh wow that's a little
00:21:30
scary right it's monsters coming at you
00:21:32
and
00:21:33
stuff I was like you need to know what
00:21:35
good music is Halloween was there I was
00:21:37
like you have to know this and now I
00:21:40
mean if you're a parent you will just
00:21:42
live to see all of your favorite things
00:21:44
repeated to you ad nauseum until you
00:21:46
hate them we listen to Thriller every
00:21:48
morning oh boy multiple times if you had
00:21:51
to guess next Halloween what would your
00:21:55
child go as you think would it be
00:21:57
Spider-Man oh what what oh she's going
00:21:59
as Elsa I already asked her it's either
00:22:01
Elsa or Michael Jackson it's whatever
00:22:04
it's funny next year it's in nine months
00:22:08
she's already on it three four five
00:22:10
Halloween rocks I mean Halloween is for
00:22:12
that age the cute kids twick a tweet you
00:22:16
know and then the uh the 15-year-old
00:22:19
High School dude could I get some candy
00:22:20
you know not fun so my block does the
00:22:24
Halloween for the for our entire area so
00:22:28
it's
00:22:29
like a thousand people job not only that
00:22:32
the kids are so rude they don't know to
00:22:36
say trick-or treat and I my like joy in
00:22:39
life is putting on a witch face and I
00:22:42
Heckle these kids oh I love it I try to
00:22:45
be and they kind of crave it and when a
00:22:48
kid comes back for candy and I'm like I
00:22:50
recognize you get out of here you little
00:22:51
fat brat and I turn them away I don't
00:22:53
call him fat but right I love to scare
00:22:56
them because you have to say please and
00:22:58
you have to say trick or treat and they
00:23:00
don't no they don't know they know I I
00:23:03
was telling uh Dana that the Super Bowl
00:23:08
has a Roman numeral like 48 I'm like let
00:23:11
me tell you something no [ __ ] kids
00:23:13
know what godamn Roman can we drop it
00:23:15
with the Roman numerals they don't even
00:23:17
know what numerals means they know the
00:23:19
word number barely they can't read
00:23:21
cursive they're not reading ancient
00:23:24
numbering systems the AI is going to
00:23:26
teach your daughter so true they're so
00:23:29
stupid no idea so excellent uh Eliza you
00:23:33
are uh I'm not reading this Eliza you
00:23:37
from Dallas but do you remember was when
00:23:40
you were there you're too young but my
00:23:42
favorite Club was the Dallas improv on
00:23:45
um on Bel Central Central and walnut oh
00:23:49
it moved because now it's in Addison
00:23:51
Addison is one like next to a freeway
00:23:55
the whole City's next to a freeway it's
00:23:56
Dallas Texas
00:23:58
the whole city was built off a toll road
00:24:01
that's so funny that the Addison Improv
00:24:03
I used to call that okay I played the
00:24:05
Addison Improv but there was a Dallas
00:24:06
one and the manager used to take us to
00:24:08
the Million Dollar Saloon Dan it wasn't
00:24:10
a real regular like old west Saloon
00:24:13
spellbinders in Houston anybody I'll
00:24:16
tell you what I think Dallas has at
00:24:18
least it used to have like more strip
00:24:20
clubs per capita and then I think
00:24:22
Portland and probably Atlanta join the
00:24:24
chat but join the chat join the join the
00:24:28
strip chat but Dallas has a lot of them
00:24:31
kind of down there in that area in that
00:24:33
whole area down there the manager would
00:24:35
take all the comics down there and he
00:24:37
gave them free passes and they be like
00:24:39
oh this is good oh wait it's good Monday
00:24:42
Tuesday and
00:24:43
Wednesday was that when you were playing
00:24:45
there no Eliza that's just they they
00:24:48
only allowed to
00:24:50
goer the room I could just see like any
00:24:54
female comic working like being like oh
00:24:56
cool thanks for these strip club passes
00:24:58
I yeah I'm so glad I'm so glad I uh we
00:25:02
had a good good thing going I remember
00:25:04
you won't know this cuz you're too young
00:25:06
but when I worked there uh at the
00:25:08
Addison impr this cute waitress said she
00:25:10
dated the drummer for nxs now this is
00:25:12
going way back that's an old band and
00:25:14
we're like you don't even know who nxs
00:25:18
is there's not a chance cu no one
00:25:20
anywhere but La sees anyone famous just
00:25:22
never happens right God lo and behold
00:25:26
the God dang drummer friend EX say comes
00:25:28
in the club when I'm there I'm
00:25:31
like
00:25:32
what and he said this ties into you you
00:25:36
got oh The Comedians if you want stay a
00:25:39
day and on the night off we'll all go to
00:25:41
see Michael Jackson and I'll get his
00:25:42
tickets and he took us to Michael
00:25:44
Jackson where did you that's amazing
00:25:47
somewhere in Dallas at some big dome I
00:25:49
was like oh my God this is it sounds
00:25:51
like a lie it might be a lie actually
00:25:52
I'm going to back off a little bit what
00:25:54
do you mean it might be a lie did you go
00:25:55
or did you not no because you reacted
00:25:57
too big so I was like wait am I
00:25:59
lying I saw think it's true no I think
00:26:02
it's true I saw him live but I met him
00:26:04
when he was I 13 oh yeah you met him
00:26:07
when you were a bus F bus boy waiter at
00:26:09
the holiday and bringing Michael Jackson
00:26:12
and the all the Jackson family dinner
00:26:13
and Fruit Loops at a holiday in Holiday
00:26:16
Inn which was near a a regional theater
00:26:19
called the circle Star Theater 3000 in
00:26:21
the round the jackson5 was playing there
00:26:23
in 75 I was a bus boy
00:26:26
waiter um you know room service guy and
00:26:29
so I got to know him a little bit you
00:26:30
know he I always brought him raw carrots
00:26:32
and is that you getting to know him you
00:26:35
know in the story makes the story better
00:26:39
I'd rather than I gave him carrots and
00:26:41
left also Little Richard I waited on him
00:26:43
he answered theor naked that's true what
00:26:45
city is this this is this is San Carlos
00:26:48
California I feel unqualified to be on
00:26:51
this because I don't have these I don't
00:26:53
have these storied other than you know
00:26:58
like I I don't Dane Cook at the bever
00:27:01
nobody wants to hear that yeah who' be
00:27:03
the person you'd most want to meet right
00:27:05
now like of of famous person well he he
00:27:10
uh like Taylor Swift you met her I'm
00:27:13
just throwing it out okay most famous
00:27:15
person I've never met her I guess it's
00:27:17
let I don't know I don't think I it's
00:27:19
about like oh I want to meet them it's
00:27:21
more about like love to work with them
00:27:24
but but I mean I met Billy Crystal once
00:27:26
and I cried and he was so nice cuz there
00:27:29
as a comic you know it's not about rock
00:27:31
stars I mean I I think if I Met m if I
00:27:34
met Nicki Minaj I'd be like we have to
00:27:35
talk I have so many things I've always
00:27:37
wanted to say to you and she would
00:27:38
tolerate me and she'd be like whose mom
00:27:40
is this but as a comedian there are so
00:27:43
many people if you are if you're lucky
00:27:46
enough in your career your Idols become
00:27:48
your colleagues you know and that's very
00:27:52
unique and uh kind of weird well put
00:27:55
kind of sad it's sad for the
00:27:57
idol but
00:27:58
[Laughter]
00:28:00
but it's I don't know I I think I don't
00:28:03
know any anybody from I mean if I ever
00:28:06
met Jim Carrey of course obviously I
00:28:08
could never meet Chris Farley but that
00:28:09
would be impactful will frell I'm sure I
00:28:12
will take a meeting with at some point
00:28:13
and well embarrass
00:28:15
myself big fan of Elizabeth Banks I've
00:28:18
only met her executive good barely I
00:28:21
think I've chatted with her but you know
00:28:23
you see like women that were on SNL like
00:28:25
you see these people um and then you
00:28:27
remember remember that you know they're
00:28:29
just like you these are just normal
00:28:30
people but Billy Crystal I did cry cuz
00:28:33
that was incredibly meaningful and was
00:28:36
big when grure to Billy was it was it
00:28:39
him on SNL or him no because that was
00:28:42
again I think this podcast should be
00:28:44
called you're too young to remember this
00:28:46
but uh you're so young and you're going
00:28:47
to blow away I'm just wonder where you
00:28:49
intered with Billy Crystal uh he cuz he
00:28:52
was on SNL obviously yeah at the very
00:28:55
beginning he did a movie I mean
00:28:56
obviously there was City Slickers yeah
00:28:58
but he did a movie called Mr Saturday
00:29:00
night which sometimes gets overlooked by
00:29:02
standup Comics as this like seminal
00:29:05
piece of work in terms of like movies
00:29:07
about stand-up comedy right but we
00:29:09
watched it a lot growing up and now that
00:29:11
I look back at it you realize how much
00:29:13
of it was true in a way that you
00:29:14
couldn't process it as a kid oh yeah
00:29:17
with no context he did that character in
00:29:19
a special I think he did a special where
00:29:21
he played all these characters at a
00:29:22
house somewhere or something and I
00:29:24
remember it standing out he's like
00:29:25
really in the pocket with that character
00:29:28
and then he did the movie yeah yeah uh
00:29:31
and um so yeah what he what'd he sound
00:29:34
like was he like this or something no
00:29:37
it's just a New York Jew just like a New
00:29:38
York like sticky what do you want what
00:29:41
do you want from me king of the jungle
00:29:43
how about queen or King of the it was a
00:29:45
Davey Crockett joke it wasn't it wasn't
00:29:48
the jungle it was King of the Wild it
00:29:50
sounds like a
00:29:51
joke how about and then uh and then b b
00:29:56
bum and so I don't know but I will say I
00:29:58
mean anytime you work with anyone bigger
00:30:00
than you you're just kind of like oh wow
00:30:02
this is I feel bad for this person but
00:30:04
this is really cool that I'm here where
00:30:06
did you see
00:30:07
him he was doing a town hall like for
00:30:10
the New York Comedy Festival and I had a
00:30:12
show the y or something no it was at
00:30:14
Town Hall like it was called Town H in
00:30:16
New York oh yeah and I snuck back there
00:30:20
and I went like under the stage like
00:30:22
Phantom of the Opera style and I like I
00:30:24
was like I bet he'll be here and he was
00:30:26
no security cuz it's Sean hankley style
00:30:29
more like I did it yeah and so you see
00:30:32
him and you go up and you're and he's
00:30:34
nice to you that's great somehow I
00:30:35
always let people know like I'm a
00:30:37
comedian just so you know like I'm not a
00:30:39
weirdo like I'm like I do what you do
00:30:41
we're the exact same can I get a picture
00:30:43
which means I'm a weirdo I'm a weirdo I
00:30:45
a picture equals I'm a weirdo well
00:30:48
there's also that thing with Comics
00:30:49
someone is a comic and you're like are
00:30:51
you or is this something you like think
00:30:53
about doing but I do think it is a nice
00:30:55
thing like to level the playing field
00:30:57
when comic comes up to me they're like
00:30:59
hey I do comedy too it's a nice way of
00:31:01
being like hey like I mean you no harm
00:31:04
yet it kind of like you're on the same
00:31:07
club like anytime you go on the
00:31:08
backstage Comedy Store you walk in a
00:31:10
club on the road or you do a guest spot
00:31:12
and you see Comics it's all like equal
00:31:14
everyone's like hey hey hey what's up BL
00:31:17
yeah like you could at least introduce
00:31:18
yourself or say hi I mean but there is I
00:31:21
always feel bad when like a comic is
00:31:23
like I couldn't get in I'm like if
00:31:25
you're a comic you can come in you can
00:31:27
always come in for for free I don't want
00:31:29
people to think that and then you just
00:31:30
say it but you're you're allowed into
00:31:32
these spaces to just hang out it's very
00:31:34
interesting when you get an out of the
00:31:35
blue compliment because if you're just
00:31:36
slumping around on a Sunday afternoon or
00:31:39
something and I think yeah you totally
00:31:41
forget that you're on TV kind of at
00:31:43
least intellectually and then all of a
00:31:45
sudden some guy goes I love you man and
00:31:47
then walks away like oh thanks oh and
00:31:51
they don't want anything too and
00:31:53
sometimes that's kind of nice they don't
00:31:54
want anything oh the most humbling is
00:31:56
when I'm like did you cuz sometimes I'll
00:31:59
say it cuz I know someone will be
00:32:00
nervous because I'll pick up on the
00:32:02
energy I'll be like did you want a
00:32:03
picture and then they say no and I'm
00:32:05
like I'll just go [ __ ] myself then I
00:32:07
didn't want to give you I feel so bad
00:32:09
like I don't want to go I don't want to
00:32:10
go that far I'm not really into I mean
00:32:12
you're fine but let's not get off the
00:32:14
weight in your VI this this may not be
00:32:16
relatable to a lot of people listening
00:32:18
the weight in your VIP line with people
00:32:21
who paid a lot of money to meet you and
00:32:22
have a photo and then they'll say I
00:32:25
don't want a photo I just wanted to say
00:32:27
hi or thank you and I'm like okay but
00:32:29
you spent this is still $100 you sure
00:32:31
you don't want a quick Snapchat quick
00:32:33
something nope you just want it okay I
00:32:36
respect it what about the people take a
00:32:38
photo let's let's take phot backage take
00:32:42
it that is good but Dana she's saying
00:32:44
what if you say no what I've never had
00:32:46
anyone say no I don't relate to I've had
00:32:48
people say I only get 100,000 photos on
00:32:51
my say hello bro um but I backstage
00:32:56
let's say Eliza you're doing a corporate
00:32:58
or regular backstage meet and greet and
00:33:00
they have a professional photographer
00:33:02
right yeah so they go this moves boom
00:33:04
boom and then you do it and then
00:33:06
everyone slowly pulls out their phone
00:33:08
after they get the real picture goes
00:33:10
let's just do one on mine and it just
00:33:12
stops everything and they're like how do
00:33:14
I flip my phone I'm so nervous what's my
00:33:17
code again okay so that's what you
00:33:20
that's your tour manager's job we have a
00:33:21
policy one picture per group you guys
00:33:24
all came together you have each other's
00:33:26
numbers you give phone to the tour
00:33:28
manager and we bang him out there's no I
00:33:30
don't want to see you fiddle with your
00:33:32
LG Chocolate razor fiddling no fiddling
00:33:36
now with your Sidekick I don't want to
00:33:37
see it just have it ready Suzuki
00:33:40
Sidekick with your um with your Kawasaki
00:33:43
jet ski I don't want to see why did they
00:33:45
stop making that Sidekick phone whatever
00:33:48
I remember Kid Rock had one I thought he
00:33:49
was so goddamn cool he go and it kind of
00:33:52
spins out remember those it it was so I
00:33:54
never had one but they looked really
00:33:56
cool I never had one either they were
00:33:57
two
00:33:58
I have I have a question about phones
00:34:00
and no one's ever answered this to me
00:34:02
like they make these giant you know
00:34:03
Library booksize phones and you know all
00:34:06
that could I get a second phone that was
00:34:09
that was Tiny that I could just talk on
00:34:12
that has the same number everyone at
00:34:14
home knows Dana carvey's holding up an
00:34:15
iPhone 6 and I don't know how he still
00:34:18
has
00:34:18
it is that a six no no it's a normal
00:34:21
phone it's a normal phone he's holding
00:34:23
up an iPod Shuffle
00:34:28
shuffles were a great IDE people have
00:34:30
people have phones that just perform a
00:34:33
phone call duty it doesn't have the
00:34:34
internet like people are going back to
00:34:36
that now since we're all getting called
00:34:37
a drug dealer well nice if you're just
00:34:39
around town you could have like this
00:34:41
really light phone with the same number
00:34:44
and still have this when you want to go
00:34:45
show people
00:34:46
videos come on Tim come on Tim Cook get
00:34:50
your ass that you want to show people
00:34:52
videos like Dana car just walking around
00:34:53
like look at this cooking video look at
00:34:56
this Habachi video
00:34:58
this is being recorded look at this is
00:35:00
me with Eliza this is me with David
00:35:02
Spade you know yeah so wait actually if
00:35:05
I've seen women and they at dinner and
00:35:08
they put down the two phones like
00:35:09
stacked on each other I'm like hook hook
00:35:13
hooker oh that's what you oh I thought
00:35:15
you meant like you got me Hook Line and
00:35:17
Sinker you me that they're sex workers
00:35:19
that's what they think I mean and then I
00:35:21
go nope we got a hook alert here when I
00:35:22
first met David he had B he had a burner
00:35:24
phone I go what's that for never mind
00:35:27
you know
00:35:28
yeah what is that David what's that
00:35:29
about I he's lying but it's a it's a
00:35:31
funny fictitious scenario so I'm gonna
00:35:33
tell you the truth that nobody's gonna
00:35:35
cop to often times when you see someone
00:35:38
with two phones m if they're not a drug
00:35:41
dealer and there are I can think of a
00:35:43
Kevin Gate song about having two phones
00:35:45
it's called two phones um it's often
00:35:48
times just a performative flex like
00:35:51
they're like sorry I just get so many I
00:35:53
can't I'm like this is sorry this is a
00:35:55
micro computer with the entire
00:35:58
power of the world in it and you're
00:35:59
telling me you're so disor you have so
00:36:02
much going on that the the internet
00:36:05
can't hold all of your information your
00:36:08
phone book is so full that you need two
00:36:11
different and I think if you're a mega
00:36:13
celebrity like most people just won't
00:36:15
have your number I'm not even that
00:36:16
famous and most of my calls go to an
00:36:19
assistant so the two phone thing unless
00:36:21
you have one for work that you throw in
00:36:23
a drawer at the end of the day is really
00:36:25
and people like hold them up to be like
00:36:26
oh sorry I just have two of is like okay
00:36:29
we get it that is a good Flex like have
00:36:32
three performative Flex is another
00:36:34
possible special for you yeah with three
00:36:37
X's so six specials how how in a pretty
00:36:41
short well I guess they would spread
00:36:42
them out but uh it's a lot of specials
00:36:45
it was in one year it was in one year we
00:36:47
did two every two a month man how do you
00:36:50
know when you show up what you're going
00:36:52
to wear cuz I I never know till like 10
00:36:55
minutes before I guess I'll wear this
00:36:57
shirt oh on your special you mean on
00:36:59
your special yeah plan it
00:37:01
out for to be fair Dana right now you
00:37:04
look like you're in a sleeping
00:37:06
bag to be fair you didn't think anything
00:37:09
before this it's an Adam Sandler puffy
00:37:12
jacket how it's a Coto paxi original oh
00:37:15
no we can
00:37:17
tell no no no no you're right that is a
00:37:22
very funny observation women know more
00:37:23
about guys clothes when they walk up and
00:37:25
they size it all up and guys don't even
00:37:27
know their being analyzed and it's like
00:37:29
think this a pretty good outfit and
00:37:30
they're like later going did you see the
00:37:32
shoes he had this with that they just
00:37:34
know everything it's not I I used to in
00:37:35
one of my old specials I have a bit
00:37:37
about how we scan like we scan
00:37:39
everything and it's not about because
00:37:41
I'm not a gold digger it's not about
00:37:43
like oh was that a nice watch it was
00:37:44
like oh are you are your shoes weirdly
00:37:47
outdated to where it's like you had to
00:37:49
make a choice between like these shoes
00:37:51
or your electricity being on are you
00:37:53
wearing like a Kenneth Cole Reaction
00:37:56
shoe like that shows that no one's
00:37:57
dressed you in a long time are you
00:37:59
wearing workout gear but you're
00:38:01
obviously you haven't done cardio are
00:38:04
you wearing a tech vest are you wearing
00:38:06
a Cotopaxi jacket and they all inform us
00:38:09
about your are you wearing an arctic's
00:38:11
flannel like do you have a cocaine
00:38:13
addiction like there's all these things
00:38:16
for better for worse but to answer your
00:38:18
question of course not I mean we play in
00:38:22
the outfit I think I work my M I think
00:38:25
the outfit is second to how as the
00:38:27
material is and then the lighting and
00:38:29
everything else but the outfit gets
00:38:30
planned well I saw a clip of you well
00:38:33
you were wearing it was kind of black
00:38:35
and then there was sort of you were hip
00:38:37
flexors were were exposed EXC yeah and
00:38:41
it was uh it was kind of a cool look you
00:38:43
know I mean it's very cool um I don't I
00:38:47
just
00:38:48
buy trying to be invisible you know I
00:38:51
have
00:38:52
like um I'm a bit of a 50 black t-shirts
00:38:57
you know look I'm not going to pretend
00:39:00
like as as a woman what you wear doesn't
00:39:03
matter and I there certain Silhouettes I
00:39:06
enjoy and for this special we I just
00:39:09
wanted to do something sexy but powerful
00:39:12
but fun I found the pants prior to
00:39:16
having my last baby so I held on to
00:39:18
those pants for like a full year and I
00:39:20
was like I'm going to get into these
00:39:21
pants come hell high water and I just
00:39:25
stared at them every day for pregnancy
00:39:27
feel like when I was trying on [ __ ] for
00:39:29
my stupid special like oh I might it's
00:39:30
guys it's like nobody cares 90% time a
00:39:33
T-shirt and a coat and it's usually
00:39:35
those jackets with no collar whatever
00:39:37
whatever so I was trying something on
00:39:39
but I don't usually wear coats on stage
00:39:41
I don't do much movements but I don't
00:39:43
want to have any resistance anywhere
00:39:45
like yeah it's too tight or you're
00:39:47
trying to look good and you're like I
00:39:48
can't really do what I do and I'll think
00:39:51
about I'd rather just be loose so that's
00:39:54
why my excuses I don't look that great
00:39:55
on them uh Al Al I have one coming out
00:39:58
in the future I didn't know I was to
00:40:00
wear what is the title of it David would
00:40:03
you call it your stupid special that's
00:40:04
what you just said you were like in my
00:40:06
stupid special my stupid special this
00:40:09
this garbage I think it's called this
00:40:11
garbage and I didn't decide I was
00:40:13
wearing because I brought two things to
00:40:16
the special and we were backstage and I
00:40:19
was doing them both and I go this what
00:40:21
this we W up doing a combo platter
00:40:23
because they said you have five minutes
00:40:24
before you go on so this is what I'm
00:40:26
worried about before I go on and the
00:40:29
crowd is there and they're like guys
00:40:31
which what is he walking out in so we
00:40:33
just know for whatever reason they want
00:40:35
Ste they got to steam it they got to
00:40:37
steam no matter what you're doing steam
00:40:38
as long as you don't have wrinkles look
00:40:40
here's the deal in terms of men's comedy
00:40:42
there's Eddie Murphy Raw and then
00:40:44
there's whatever else the rest of you
00:40:46
guys wear like it either has to be
00:40:48
impactful and iconic or literally no one
00:40:51
cares I'm going with literally no one
00:40:54
cares I'm going with people go what did
00:40:56
he wear special and they're like oh did
00:40:58
he have any clothes on we don't even
00:40:59
remember that's how good the material
00:41:01
was laughed at the jokes or we don't but
00:41:03
we go that means literally nothing why
00:41:06
guys K that's why I go I don't really
00:41:07
care just what do I wear all the time
00:41:10
people have already decided they like me
00:41:11
or they don't let's just well I don't
00:41:13
think I don't think people I don't I
00:41:14
think it's all about what you give to
00:41:16
your audience and I don't think people
00:41:18
watch you for a sorial experience and I
00:41:21
think when you're a woman people have to
00:41:23
like it is about what you're wearing you
00:41:25
know does it are you does it hug your
00:41:27
body can they see your body are they not
00:41:29
seeing your body is that deliberate I
00:41:30
think women get judged on these things
00:41:32
in a good and a bad way but for guys
00:41:35
it's just not the way that we think
00:41:36
about you like if someone sees you it's
00:41:38
like oh my God it's David Spade not oh
00:41:40
did you I mean maybe on a Saturday night
00:41:42
like did you see those leather pants you
00:41:44
know it's just not your it's just not
00:41:45
part of your brand and some females are
00:41:47
like are you a hoodie comic or do you
00:41:48
dress up I it's almost you know what I
00:41:51
mean well that's because for the longest
00:41:54
time you know the audience it took them
00:41:55
a while to wrap their mind around the
00:41:57
fact that a woman was speaking but now I
00:42:01
think you know I see a lot of younger
00:42:02
girls just going up and just
00:42:04
everything's out and they don't think
00:42:06
about it and the answer is you're
00:42:07
welcome it's because of women like me in
00:42:09
our generation putting in that work in
00:42:11
those American Apparel hoodies so you
00:42:13
could wear a belly
00:42:19
[Music]
00:42:20
shirt hoodie comic hoodie comic I was
00:42:23
one of them my picture is on the Improv
00:42:25
wall next to yours actually and I'm in
00:42:27
that hoodie very
00:42:30
low yeah you're right next to mine it's
00:42:32
right when you walk in Eliza do you
00:42:34
remember when I brought you up wrong not
00:42:37
yes do you want to tell it because it
00:42:38
was a very sweet story you tell it I
00:42:42
feel like I remember half of it it was
00:42:45
in the original room at the Imp at the
00:42:48
comedy store so I I think I brought you
00:42:52
up and I said your name wrong right
00:42:55
definitely I said your name wrong it's a
00:42:57
tricky name it's to be fair it is awful
00:43:00
I think I got the first name wrong yeah
00:43:03
not even your last name yeah so what oh
00:43:07
yeah so I felt so bad because it was
00:43:10
very unprofessional even though intros
00:43:12
are always screwy like Bobby Lee's
00:43:14
coming in this idiot blah blah blah he's
00:43:16
my dad you know it's always screwy
00:43:18
forget mess up the credits but I said
00:43:20
her name wrong I didn't know her enough
00:43:21
to do her name wrong and then I oh Adam
00:43:24
OT was working there so I said can I get
00:43:27
Eliza's email maybe or just to apologize
00:43:33
for doing that it was a you got it and
00:43:36
and I got it so for people listening
00:43:38
Adam egot was the manager general
00:43:40
manager of the comedy store and now I
00:43:41
think he manages Mothership in Austin
00:43:44
and he texted me and he was like Spade's
00:43:46
going to message you and I cuz I think I
00:43:49
may have said something to
00:43:51
you um or I didn't but the way he said
00:43:56
Spade's going to talk to you the vibe
00:43:58
was like hey you did something wrong and
00:44:01
now comedy royalty is about to not only
00:44:04
Blacklist you but you should never have
00:44:07
gotten upset that he mispronounced like
00:44:09
the it was like Spade's gonna he didn't
00:44:11
say Reach Out Reach Out is a good thing
00:44:13
it's like space better bring down the
00:44:15
hammer and I was like okay and you
00:44:16
reached out and I was never going to say
00:44:19
anything ever again because I knew it
00:44:21
wasn't personal and you went out of your
00:44:23
way to say that it was a mistake and you
00:44:25
were sorry and I couldn't believe
00:44:28
that someone of your stature that
00:44:30
someone that David Spade was reaching
00:44:33
down to little old me to be like hey
00:44:34
sorry about that in an industry where
00:44:36
people are like aggressively awful to
00:44:38
each other for fun and I always remember
00:44:41
that about you and unfortunately for you
00:44:44
I was like oh cool now we're friends now
00:44:46
I can always talk to him yes and then I
00:44:49
said no I got to get it right now all
00:44:50
the time all the time yeah cuz I I can't
00:44:53
mess it I can't keep messing it up one
00:44:55
time day and I went on on the original
00:44:56
room
00:44:57
and Bill Burr was next but he was in the
00:44:59
hallway bullshitting just like a typical
00:45:01
night and I got the hiccups like I'm
00:45:04
sure to Bill like a girl and I've never
00:45:06
done this and I hied up every joke and
00:45:08
they started laughing but it was too
00:45:10
much because it was like the same thing
00:45:11
over and over and they're stopping
00:45:13
laughing and after about three minutes I
00:45:15
go hey is Bill out there and and I go
00:45:19
and I hear what and I go can you come up
00:45:22
now I have to get off and he's like you
00:45:24
got the [ __ ] hiccups and then I was
00:45:27
like oh this is the worst guy to go
00:45:28
after me because now his first five
00:45:31
minutes was like this [ __ ] [ __ ] so
00:45:35
that was funny but that was another o
00:45:36
story similar he didn't apologize ever
00:45:39
no but just know that if you're watching
00:45:41
a show and Comics give each other [ __ ]
00:45:43
like that it's because they're friends I
00:45:44
don't think I've ever really seen a
00:45:46
comic like [ __ ] up and then the next
00:45:49
comic gets mad about it like it's never
00:45:52
I've brought up Comics I don't even like
00:45:54
and I've never given them a bad intro
00:45:55
I've never been like this next guy tried
00:45:58
to sexually harass me over the phone and
00:46:00
now I'm famous and he's not please
00:46:01
welcome like I would never do that I
00:46:05
think all you did now I'm thinking about
00:46:07
it when I walked up and said your name
00:46:08
wrong you took the mic and you go it's
00:46:10
Eliza and then you just went on and but
00:46:13
you weren't scolding me you just said it
00:46:15
right for the audience to know and then
00:46:18
I was like shot leaving the stage like
00:46:19
platoon I was like oh and and because I
00:46:22
dained to softly correct it and then
00:46:24
Adam's like Spade's going to talk to you
00:46:27
I was like oh my God oh my God he's
00:46:29
going to get mad that I knew my own name
00:46:31
and you were so nice there's a rumor you
00:46:34
softly corrected someone you're like um
00:46:38
I think I did he's like what the [ __ ]
00:46:40
you owe David Spade an apology your name
00:46:43
is now Elisa Shell Shell uh Miss uh
00:46:46
shell singer um that's shell singer
00:46:50
there you go M Miss Eliza sh what's the
00:46:53
most common mispronunciation or is there
00:46:56
one what Dana just did deliberately or
00:46:59
not I can't tell if it's a bit no I I
00:47:01
was kidding okay thank God uh uh it's oh
00:47:04
yeah Shel singer wessinger but I don't
00:47:07
even correct people because it
00:47:10
ultimately doesn't matter because the
00:47:12
more painful part is having to then hear
00:47:14
them try to correct it and then it
00:47:16
becomes like a Linguistics lesson sure
00:47:19
and you're like I'm just trying to
00:47:20
promote this
00:47:22
show got this special yeah I was
00:47:24
introduced gy a lot Dana Garney this
00:47:28
next comedian is kind of funny some
00:47:29
people Dan Garney uh it's just reading
00:47:32
off piece of paper Dana D Na and then
00:47:35
they just the the V came in in or
00:47:37
something Dana Garney ladies and
00:47:38
gentlemen Greg Fitz Simmons told me that
00:47:41
he one time and he's in my phone is this
00:47:43
got grapefruit
00:47:47
Simmons I don't mind that people are
00:47:51
just uneducated not checked in just out
00:47:53
to lunch just making up words not
00:47:56
reading but Eliza how nerve-wracking is
00:47:58
it when they go there's no MC and you're
00:48:01
up there and they go and you go who's
00:48:03
next and they're like Bill squank Meer
00:48:05
and you're like this next guy is so good
00:48:07
you don't even know who they are you've
00:48:09
never even heard of them you don't what
00:48:10
to say oh yeah I mean the art of standup
00:48:13
is 99% making up a [ __ ] credit for
00:48:16
the next comic who you have no real
00:48:18
reference for that's a good way to put
00:48:20
it right it used to just be clubs and
00:48:22
colleges but now that's if you're
00:48:24
playing colleges as your main thing like
00:48:26
maybe not doing great and so and so and
00:48:30
used to be Comedy Central which it
00:48:32
really isn't anymore so now I mean I
00:48:34
brought up a comic the other night and I
00:48:35
was like you know him from the internet
00:48:38
please welcome it was it was Morgan Jay
00:48:41
and who is known from the Internet it's
00:48:42
not like you met him on Star Search and
00:48:44
so I thought I just I just usually like
00:48:47
this next comic is hilarious one of my
00:48:49
good friends please I do that anyone
00:48:52
anyone is next y CRA throw someone out
00:48:56
here
00:48:57
all right let's plug let's plug Eliza's
00:48:59
thing one more time before we let her go
00:49:00
and I will say Before I Let You Go Eliza
00:49:02
different I just talked to today someone
00:49:04
I said you were coming on and they said
00:49:07
teller good on paper movie is great and
00:49:11
that is a Netflix movie that's right
00:49:13
that you wrote I wrote it it's a it's
00:49:17
based on a true story and uh I start in
00:49:20
it and it's available for streaming 24
00:49:23
hours a day and it is a very hard to
00:49:27
write a movie and and you were in it
00:49:30
even harder to make one turns out turns
00:49:32
out it takes a so hard to make a movie
00:49:35
yes so vou for that uh and and the
00:49:37
special Dana say the name of the special
00:49:39
I'll let you do a different animal
00:49:41
Amazon Prime March 11th we shot it in uh
00:49:46
where in Salt Lake City which I knew
00:49:49
that's a great place
00:49:51
right secretly an incredible comedy Town
00:49:54
Town yep yep yep mhm you wouldn't think
00:49:57
that and they're the best and I have to
00:49:59
be honest with you guys you are my first
00:50:02
podcast I've done to promote it so
00:50:03
you're the first person I guess it was
00:50:06
Dana that I've heard say the special out
00:50:08
loud because the title been a secret
00:50:11
that's cool how big was the theater what
00:50:12
did you what did you do this time
00:50:14
sizewise it was um the Eckles so that's
00:50:18
I want to say 2300 I want also want to
00:50:21
say 1,800 it's all such a blur but we
00:50:23
filed we did two tapings at the echles
00:50:25
and it was gorgeous
00:50:27
and um the outfit was hot fire so I'm
00:50:30
excited forone to see it I would do an
00:50:31
insult Lake they're good good crowd the
00:50:34
outfit was cool if it's the one I think
00:50:36
yeah I hope it is I hope they sent you
00:50:38
the materials Salt Lake City is
00:50:40
basically people not everyone there is
00:50:42
Mormon but what you get is a city of
00:50:44
like almost no crime people who don't
00:50:46
really drink alcohol jacked up on sugar
00:50:49
from soda shops and just really looking
00:50:51
for a good time before church that's
00:50:54
who's there that's right I got to play
00:50:56
that they're good you got Dan yeah yeah
00:51:01
all right thanks Eliza we'll talk soon
00:51:02
I'll see you at the store I'll see you
00:51:04
tonight all right thanks for enjoy bye
00:51:07
you guys bye thank you thank you this
00:51:10
has been a presentation of Odyssey
00:51:12
please follow subscribe leave a like a
00:51:15
review all the stuff smash that button
00:51:17
whatever it is wherever you get your
00:51:19
podcast fly on the wall is executive
00:51:21
produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade
00:51:23
Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey and
00:51:25
Heather Santoro the show lead producer
00:51:27
is Greg Holtzman
