00:00:00
so we have Leslie effing Jones on uh who
00:00:03
is a force not to be trifled with who
00:00:06
wrote a book called Leslie [ __ ] Jones
00:00:09
can we say that in the intro I mean if
00:00:11
she can in her book if you say Evan I
00:00:13
don't care
00:00:14
um Leslie [ __ ] Jones I got addicted
00:00:17
to the book I wrote I read the book all
00:00:20
the way through this is how it is in the
00:00:22
podcast or want to do what's right mind
00:00:25
this sounds crazy it didn't come through
00:00:27
I got to page like 12 and it was blank
00:00:29
so uh Dana it sounds like a lie it's not
00:00:33
and then Dana has been doing homework we
00:00:36
researched his everything 12. I I did
00:00:38
200 but we worked together as a team it
00:00:40
doesn't matter sometimes I'll do 12
00:00:42
right and you'll do 12 and and and or
00:00:45
you could do two I don't know that was
00:00:46
it was a fast read I I think it's a
00:00:49
fascinating story she is
00:00:51
um
00:00:52
you know just I she's her story is
00:00:55
amazing her personality basketball star
00:00:58
and she's just tells amazing stuff about
00:01:02
SNL I'm not going to give it away I want
00:01:04
you to listen but she's a Powerhouse I
00:01:06
mean it's your stand up and she did that
00:01:07
thing uh we did at The Comedy Store a
00:01:09
while ago where they were filming she
00:01:11
comes in crushes leaves uh she is
00:01:16
um you know she talks about her
00:01:17
perspective on us now what it was like
00:01:18
the good the bad yes and uh that's you
00:01:22
know you get a well-rounded this has
00:01:23
never happened to me before but after
00:01:25
that podcast I thought of a movie idea
00:01:27
I'll just say it in 10 seconds Leslie
00:01:29
Jones you'll find out when you listen to
00:01:30
the podcast why that makes sense is
00:01:32
coaching a junior high school girls
00:01:34
basketball team yeah okay bad elements
00:01:37
come in whatever that may be kind of
00:01:40
like The Equalizer bad people come in
00:01:42
and Leslie Jones kicks ass oh yeah she
00:01:45
writes yeah the regularizer all right we
00:01:48
can make this the easy way or the hard
00:01:49
way you have nine seconds yeah
00:01:53
equalizer three is amazing I wanted to
00:01:56
get that out there yeah let's get that
00:01:57
out there yeah okay here she is Leslie
00:02:00
Jones from equalizer three
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four
00:02:02
[Music]
00:02:09
nah do not have a separate microphone
00:02:11
white man
00:02:13
immediately Leslie Jones
00:02:16
just had asked me the whitest question
00:02:19
ever but
00:02:20
uh are you a member of The Geek Squad by
00:02:23
any chance even I'm mad at this white
00:02:25
guy yeah even I'm angry I'm part of his
00:02:28
tribe but Jesus do I have to get a mic I
00:02:31
don't know how to work that [ __ ] I think
00:02:33
it'll work you don't need nothing you're
00:02:36
Leslie [ __ ] Jones I read your book so
00:02:39
I feel like I know you please tell me
00:02:41
you did not read my book I read it and I
00:02:44
thought it but the newest the newest
00:02:46
version right I believe I got the newest
00:02:48
version I think because it was online it
00:02:50
was like secretive I think oh it was
00:02:52
secretive so it must have been the
00:02:54
latest version yeah yeah I hope I hope
00:02:57
it's the most edited version because
00:02:58
some of that [ __ ] was crazy
00:03:03
had a silver spoon easy childhood yeah
00:03:06
everything came to you so it was it find
00:03:11
out
00:03:12
yeah it was a real Meghan Markle it
00:03:15
could have been the same there's a lot a
00:03:17
lot of sex in it it's very the one I had
00:03:20
just the edit I had to just edit chapter
00:03:23
six was like what give it to us yeah I
00:03:26
mean it's more outrageous than what I
00:03:28
read Because I read some stuff that I I
00:03:30
turned red my wife's going what's wrong
00:03:32
honey I broke out my sweat
00:03:34
oh my God okay so y'all ready okay okay
00:03:37
no I have a question what okay is it
00:03:40
boring is it is it interesting because
00:03:42
I'm that's the thing I'm very very not
00:03:44
boring I'll tell you that much I can
00:03:47
tell you a thousand percent that it's an
00:03:50
incredibly great read it moves very
00:03:52
quickly it's very concise
00:03:54
I mean it just blows by it's it's a it's
00:03:57
a page Turner it's great Leslie it
00:03:58
really is am I your first review yes I
00:04:01
give it I give it I'm going on
00:04:03
[ __ ] Amazon I'm giving you five
00:04:06
stars my head is exploding right now I
00:04:11
loved it it's so wrong yeah you need you
00:04:14
both of y'all need to know where y'all
00:04:16
are in my in my brain as far as people
00:04:19
okay first of all David Spade and you
00:04:22
don't even remember this David but you
00:04:24
came in and saw me I was performing one
00:04:26
night and I was doing prayer work and
00:04:28
you gave me one of the best compliments
00:04:30
and I remember going I remember speeding
00:04:32
home singing screaming like David Spain
00:04:44
to me like oh my God you're so [ __ ]
00:04:47
hilarious the chemistry you used to have
00:04:49
with with Farley was just [ __ ] insane
00:04:51
and then and then Dana Carvey
00:04:54
what can you say what can you say Dana
00:04:58
Carvey you don't understand to black
00:05:00
people I don't know if you know this but
00:05:03
to black people church lady is some
00:05:06
sacred bit that like we [ __ ] anytime
00:05:10
you did church lady it was that was for
00:05:12
black people black people [ __ ] love
00:05:14
you
00:05:15
uh well I love that that's awesome
00:05:19
that is a mean she's mean man I mean she
00:05:22
says what's on her mind kind of but
00:05:26
you know if she was if [ __ ] being right
00:05:29
it's so [ __ ] honest and awesome
00:05:32
mm-hmm
00:05:34
so did you that's not a compliment that
00:05:36
just cuts through the Clutter no church
00:05:38
lady just calls him and she sees him and
00:05:40
it's funny as [ __ ] he's so [ __ ]
00:05:42
hilarious it was being uh Superior to
00:05:46
everyone you meet and really can't wait
00:05:48
to tell them
00:05:49
well well well well
00:05:51
we like to write books don't we there's
00:05:54
lots of naughty parts that's what Leslie
00:05:57
Jones says then she says this story you
00:05:59
know it's just it writes itself I knew
00:06:01
she died
00:06:03
like it's just man that's what that's
00:06:06
what that's the SNL I knew you know what
00:06:08
I mean so like it's like
00:06:10
so for y'all to tell me that I read my
00:06:12
book I'm freaking the [ __ ] out cause I'm
00:06:15
like was it even legible no no people
00:06:19
have to read this because it's just such
00:06:22
a journey of undeniableness which your
00:06:25
dad told you like just the tenacity and
00:06:28
the stuff you went through before you
00:06:30
got SNL and then on SNL I mean you just
00:06:33
you're still standing I have a lot of
00:06:36
respect for you man you are something
00:06:37
else but the book I read it it was just
00:06:40
I don't know it was very compelling the
00:06:42
stuff you went through and how honest it
00:06:44
was I mean don't you find that what's
00:06:46
your reaction what are people saying
00:06:48
no one's saying anything yet right I'm
00:06:50
the first yeah it's the first this is
00:06:53
the first that people have told me they
00:06:54
read it I'm freaking out I'm like okay
00:06:56
okay okay y'all read it and I'm just
00:06:59
like that's what I'm waiting for I'm
00:07:01
waiting for you know people to go oh no
00:07:04
it was it was good it no it was good no
00:07:06
Leslie I'm gonna give you a full
00:07:08
disclosure Dana I didn't even tell you
00:07:10
this okay aside from when I this is
00:07:12
two-parter aside from seeing uh Leslie
00:07:15
and and I think what was happening
00:07:17
Leslie is you were doing crowd work and
00:07:19
I was Mesmerizing the back going I don't
00:07:20
think she did one ounce of her act I
00:07:22
think she walked up and was like look at
00:07:24
this [ __ ] and I was like and she
00:07:26
never stopped talking to the audience
00:07:29
and killing and I'm like that is one of
00:07:31
those things that I'm not good at I go
00:07:32
this is so hard to do and she just went
00:07:34
from there to there to there to there
00:07:36
back to this guy back that call back to
00:07:38
this guy and I would I I must have told
00:07:40
you after I said holy [ __ ] that was just
00:07:42
really really fun to watch and uh and on
00:07:46
the book part Leslie so here's where I
00:07:48
got uh tripped up because first of all
00:07:51
the book starts you get shot out of a
00:07:53
cannon you're immediately it's it's uh I
00:07:56
think it's Chris Rock telling you the
00:07:58
thing is early like that Chris Rock
00:08:00
saying you're not ready you're this and
00:08:02
this then you start into the book and
00:08:04
you know what happened mine cuts off and
00:08:06
don't get mad at Jen mine cuts off at
00:08:08
your dad taking to the Ramada Inn
00:08:10
because that was a good one and it was
00:08:12
like a medieval it was really early on
00:08:14
so then Dana's filling me in but it's
00:08:17
not because I didn't want to but I was
00:08:19
going through it I'm like oh [ __ ] it
00:08:20
just it just goes blank so Dana will
00:08:22
fill you in those parts and I will jump
00:08:24
in on the other stuff okay okay okay
00:08:26
okay okay but by the way I had seven
00:08:29
questions just at the beginning Dana
00:08:31
because the Chris Rock stuff he's like
00:08:33
Yoda going you're walking to the car or
00:08:35
something he's like you're not ready and
00:08:37
you're like what the [ __ ] am I not ready
00:08:38
I've been doing this how many years and
00:08:41
why do you think I and you're like [ __ ]
00:08:43
you must do more clubs yes
00:08:46
first come set then comes joke it
00:08:51
happens I was so [ __ ] bad like what
00:08:54
the [ __ ] you talking about ready to
00:08:55
[ __ ] ready yeah it's hard to hear
00:08:58
that from a guy the great like Chris
00:08:59
because you're like I guess I this guy
00:09:02
knows some [ __ ] and then right and it
00:09:05
was right yeah no he always was that he
00:09:08
always was that guy even as a young man
00:09:10
at SNL he would just sum up things
00:09:12
really and just a few words he always
00:09:14
had the old soul and he has a confidence
00:09:16
with it yeah he's like an old soul he's
00:09:18
like Morgan Freeman or something yeah so
00:09:19
yeah he listened to him but the ride of
00:09:22
it Leslie I mean I could relate to
00:09:25
everybody had straw struggles in
00:09:27
stand-ups starting and stuff you just
00:09:29
had a special amount of it and a special
00:09:32
tenacity and and by the way people I
00:09:35
mean I could bounce all over the place
00:09:36
but that Journey it's I just go on here
00:09:39
she comes again and then when Jamie Foxx
00:09:40
suggested you had to go live your life
00:09:42
and then you had about six years where
00:09:46
you really didn't do stand up and just
00:09:48
lived your life and then I think the
00:09:50
church kind of saved you the the the
00:09:51
Victory Baptist Church to get your
00:09:54
attitude straight maybe your brother
00:09:56
passed away if you don't play yourself
00:09:59
in the movie yeah who would you feel
00:10:02
Margot Robbie who plays 20 19 year old
00:10:06
Leslie Jones Margot Robbie actually just
00:10:09
texted me she's on the feed she goes I
00:10:13
know I
00:10:14
that I guess it would have to be a young
00:10:17
I would have to go look for a young
00:10:20
actress played me yeah for someone in
00:10:22
the 20s but you could probably play
00:10:24
yourself as you you know the last 10
00:10:27
years I mean you know with a lot of AI
00:10:30
no listen Leslie it says you started at
00:10:33
47 or Dana said you got SNL 47 I go 47 I
00:10:37
didn't know she was 47 yet
00:10:43
that's that's was one of my favorite I
00:10:46
like the double no I like being 44. I
00:10:48
like burning 33 55 feels badass now we
00:10:52
got to get you to 66. oh no rush no rush
00:10:56
no rush
00:10:57
thank you
00:10:59
Leslie let me ask her one thing here's
00:11:02
something that Dana and I know I know it
00:11:04
was brief on my end when I got to go
00:11:06
over this but she's at a club and I
00:11:08
think I don't think people relate to
00:11:10
this but you do explain it well you're
00:11:12
at a club on the road you're busting
00:11:14
your ass it's snowing or something you
00:11:15
go in you're just jumping around doing
00:11:17
one-nighters I think and they do it you
00:11:20
know opener middle headliner and because
00:11:22
the rep was you would kill the headliner
00:11:25
and you were middling I think the
00:11:26
headliner would say they have to get out
00:11:28
of there
00:11:29
and and can I middle I'm still the
00:11:31
headliner but I kind of get paid the
00:11:32
headline but middle and and then not
00:11:34
follow you and then you finally said
00:11:36
[ __ ] you I you pay me an extra thousand
00:11:39
and I or I'm not headlining and they're
00:11:41
like what do you mean it was something
00:11:44
that I learned from um oh God I'm
00:11:46
looking right at DC Curry I was on a lot
00:11:49
I was on the road with DC Curry and they
00:11:52
didn't pay and he did not walk on stage
00:11:54
until they paid him and he was like
00:11:56
always know your worth always know your
00:11:58
worth and this had been happening so
00:12:01
much this had just and it started the
00:12:04
first couple of times it happened if at
00:12:06
first you know you fall for the first
00:12:08
but then after it started happening
00:12:09
everywhere I went I was like oh these
00:12:12
[ __ ] just can't follow me and
00:12:14
instead of just saying let's switch it
00:12:16
up and let her headline and give me
00:12:18
respect that they probably would give
00:12:20
dudes they do that [ __ ] and and it just
00:12:23
was just Latin this literally happened
00:12:26
right before I got SNL so it was like it
00:12:30
really was one of those moments where I
00:12:32
went back to the hotel and I remember
00:12:34
this moment exactly you guys I sat at
00:12:37
the end of the bed because it was
00:12:39
actually a nice it was the one time that
00:12:41
I had got a nice hotel I wanted these
00:12:43
[ __ ] gigs and I'm sitting at the end
00:12:45
of the bed and I'm like hey man I I'm 47
00:12:49
I was like man how long am I gonna be
00:12:51
able to do this [ __ ] you know how how
00:12:53
long is this it's not getting easier
00:12:56
it's not getting these and and the money
00:12:59
is not getting better and it's just like
00:13:01
and now I'm starting to have to fight
00:13:03
[ __ ] like it just it just was
00:13:05
one of those moments of like [ __ ] like
00:13:08
there's no
00:13:09
there's there's all Darkness right now
00:13:12
and what yeah so and also people don't
00:13:16
know you have to do more time in your
00:13:17
headline right you you were actually
00:13:18
when you had when you had mine you had
00:13:21
mine that's what it's called No One
00:13:24
everybody you it's great that you have
00:13:26
to open an ax and we know this everybody
00:13:28
knows that you love having to open an
00:13:30
act but the [ __ ] be waiting for
00:13:32
you to come out
00:13:33
I mean who did that joke best about like
00:13:36
nobody wants to see [ __ ] a comic
00:13:38
before the stones like get the [ __ ] off
00:13:40
the stage we want to see Jagger like
00:13:43
what the [ __ ] yeah the headliner has the
00:13:45
responsibility because if you've got
00:13:47
people killing before you and the middle
00:13:49
is kind of the easiest spot it's warmed
00:13:52
up they haven't peaked so you I would
00:13:54
you'd follow middles I'd follow middles
00:13:56
that just you know want me not to be
00:13:58
able to follow them it was a
00:13:59
gladiatorial badass Gunslinger
00:14:01
environment but the idea that you had to
00:14:04
close after all that [ __ ] kill that
00:14:06
heart but not get headliner money the
00:14:09
middle guys so that that's just that's
00:14:12
not all the [ __ ] time in this in this
00:14:14
one particular time because I remember
00:14:15
this [ __ ] I was like yeah I know who
00:14:17
this comic is and I know that this
00:14:19
[ __ ] don't want to follow me and
00:14:21
I'm not [ __ ] up and I and at that
00:14:24
time I don't I didn't even I know I
00:14:26
might have had some money I didn't I
00:14:28
wasn't sure I think it was one of those
00:14:30
moments of like okay [ __ ] it I guess I'm
00:14:32
not gonna get paid because I'm gonna go
00:14:33
back to the hotel yeah because I'm not
00:14:34
[ __ ] doing this but it was just it's
00:14:37
a hard thing to do because you think
00:14:39
they're gonna tell people I'm a problem
00:14:41
they're gonna and you're like and I
00:14:42
think the guy caved and and went and
00:14:45
goes and you said go talk to your boss
00:14:47
or something yeah because he wasn't the
00:14:49
one who booked me the one who booked me
00:14:50
is solid to do he's a solid dude okay
00:14:53
you know and that dude worked for him he
00:14:54
thought you know yeah I'm gonna go in
00:14:56
and I'm gonna tell the female she gonna
00:14:58
cause that's how you came in well you
00:15:00
know this is what's gonna happen I was
00:15:03
like [ __ ] this is not what's
00:15:04
gonna happen
00:15:06
uh you gonna give me a thousand dollars
00:15:07
more [ __ ] headline in this headline
00:15:09
because I gotta go out when they drunk
00:15:12
they drunk at this point oh yeah
00:15:14
yeah when an opener does like what 20 25
00:15:17
minutes something like that I gotta do
00:15:20
like 45 hours you know and then a black
00:15:22
Club Real Talk an hour yeah it's hard
00:15:26
you know also Leslie they throw it on
00:15:28
the checks in some of these clubs so
00:15:30
when you're on stage of people at home
00:15:31
listening they put down the check for
00:15:33
the bill right in the middle of your act
00:15:34
and suddenly everything stops and
00:15:36
everyone's looking at oh okay who had
00:15:38
three Cokes who had the uh you know
00:15:39
you're going through being closer and
00:15:41
they're doing math yeah I like potato
00:15:45
skins
00:15:46
I don't know [ __ ] don't know
00:15:48
and it's like it's like people don't
00:15:50
even understand it's on another level
00:15:52
for females for females it's a whole at
00:15:55
the level like we are at on stage
00:15:58
performing like in France it's a whole
00:16:02
different level what what in specific do
00:16:05
you mean I mean just that even if the
00:16:07
crowd is half women or so so it's a lot
00:16:11
of things when it goes on for for and I
00:16:13
hate to even say female comic because we
00:16:15
should just be comments and it's like
00:16:18
because y'all don't have to say I'm a
00:16:19
male comedy yeah you know yeah so it's
00:16:22
it's like okay I had to learn early that
00:16:24
when I walk on stage like t-shirt jeans
00:16:26
tennis shoes because these are a couple
00:16:29
of things that happen when a female
00:16:30
comic walks on stage especially if she's
00:16:33
looking nice so good the first thing you
00:16:36
and you don't want to admit most people
00:16:38
people won't admit it but a woman to
00:16:39
look and go oh oh what and especially
00:16:42
she we were a man oh uh and then she'll
00:16:44
look at her man and see if a man would
00:16:46
want to [ __ ] her and then you're going
00:16:48
through all of this five minutes while
00:16:49
I'm standing on stage that's true you
00:16:52
know what I'm saying so it's it's like
00:16:54
it's it's like that level and then I
00:16:57
swear what came to my head when I was
00:16:59
thinking about it was oh and I hate to
00:17:01
say this we out late
00:17:03
we out late in front of a crowd that's
00:17:06
drinking full of boisterous men and
00:17:10
we're we have to do some type of
00:17:11
material and if we're doing dirty
00:17:14
material [ __ ] are going to
00:17:15
think one way do you get what I'm saying
00:17:17
yeah no I other other women comedian
00:17:20
have told me similar things about the
00:17:22
dynamic of that yeah and
00:17:24
never had to worry about it because I
00:17:26
wish I wish a miracle
00:17:28
and
00:17:31
[Laughter]
00:17:35
[Music]
00:17:39
did you ever have to physically fight uh
00:17:43
people coming on the stage or did you
00:17:44
ever get something thrown at you
00:17:47
I've I've had things thrown at me I've
00:17:49
had people come up on stage I've had
00:17:51
people pull their dick out on me I've
00:17:53
had people I saw falling off the stage
00:17:56
often
00:17:57
um I uh yeah I've had to uh referee a
00:18:02
brawl doing the fight doing a set yeah
00:18:04
I've done every it's pretty I apologize
00:18:06
for the dick thing yeah a million times
00:18:09
I we talked to I was gonna go I was
00:18:13
gonna say David
00:18:15
that was the biggest bra too that I had
00:18:18
ever it was at dude at the Autobahn it
00:18:21
was it was the Autobahn in Germany that
00:18:25
uh Angelo Lazaro was uh was throwing and
00:18:28
Gerald Kelly got into a fight with a
00:18:30
bunch of Puerto Ricans in the front
00:18:31
because
00:18:33
um and one of them had already got up a
00:18:34
show when they did and see in that
00:18:36
situation what you do it's very because
00:18:38
you have to again women have to be very
00:18:41
smart I I you know you'll get the listen
00:18:45
I'm gonna get in trouble for saying did
00:18:47
right okay no no
00:18:49
as women it's like a warrior type thing
00:18:52
now you do have women that are not going
00:18:54
to be like I'm not cool with that like
00:18:57
don't [ __ ] put your dick out on me
00:18:58
let's stop the show I [ __ ] get that I
00:19:00
understand that but there's a level me
00:19:02
that I have been raised around so many
00:19:04
dudes and athletes and and just Hustlers
00:19:08
pushers dealers get it's that's it's a
00:19:11
moment there I'm not scared of you you
00:19:13
could pull your [ __ ] dick out but let
00:19:15
me see how this is how I'm gonna handle
00:19:17
you sir so that's all you got pull your
00:19:20
[ __ ] pants up you're embarrassing
00:19:22
your friends your friends are here and
00:19:23
you pull that out God if you was gonna
00:19:26
do it at least have a big dick like
00:19:28
that's how I handled them he went and
00:19:30
sat down they had more fun they were
00:19:33
drinking so Gerald Kelly comes on the
00:19:35
stage starts a fight with him and then
00:19:38
chair starts flying and I just remember
00:19:41
being under the table and Angelo was
00:19:43
trying to get me out the restaurant but
00:19:45
I was under the table like Celie and
00:19:46
color purple like I want to see so
00:19:50
yeah so uh well that was well put Leslie
00:19:54
when you got out of it anything to get
00:19:57
out of it yeah I totally get that I
00:20:00
would
00:20:01
when did you
00:20:03
where did you
00:20:07
[Music]
00:20:09
when did when you got to like
00:20:12
professional clubs they get a little
00:20:14
better like an improv or like a more
00:20:15
upscale Club I mean because
00:20:18
or was it always men at a weird thing
00:20:20
there's a woman I'm drunk I'm gonna give
00:20:22
her [ __ ] I'm gonna hit on her I'm gonna
00:20:24
you know make fun of her yeah got it
00:20:28
but are you saying that I ever having a
00:20:30
good experience
00:20:33
it never really goes away I don't think
00:20:35
I don't think you always
00:20:38
Leslie Jones famous person is headlining
00:20:41
eventually oh if that still happens yeah
00:20:43
it happens like I mean I just I'm on
00:20:45
tour now and this woman stood up in the
00:20:47
middle of my act and gave me flowers
00:20:51
oh it was like yeah what I I do [ __ ]
00:20:54
like what do I say like that's a weird
00:20:56
one and and a fox line and you know when
00:21:00
they do it right at a punch line yeah
00:21:02
well alcohol is a problem unless you're
00:21:06
Matt Rife bite me I just had somebody
00:21:09
bite me like it still happens man like I
00:21:12
think it's I and I keep saying this I
00:21:15
just think it's different with women
00:21:16
because it just feels like property is
00:21:20
sometimes when people come and watch you
00:21:22
you know that you you'd never bite a
00:21:25
Dave Chappelle or I mean you might jump
00:21:26
on it try to shoot them or whatever but
00:21:28
do you get what I'm saying you might
00:21:30
slap Chris Rock but you're never gonna
00:21:33
what would you do I wish that happened
00:21:35
to you
00:21:36
I want to see you let me explain
00:21:38
something to you and me and Chris talk
00:21:40
about
00:21:44
the age and that's a long walk I would
00:21:48
have been like wait a minute are you
00:21:50
coming up here
00:21:52
okay okay
00:21:54
that's Will Smith no it's like are you
00:21:58
coming up here [ __ ] I would have
00:21:59
ran around I'd have been like well calm
00:22:02
down you you better slap me no
00:22:05
it wouldn't get that far right so did
00:22:08
you what did Chris say about his rack
00:22:10
because Chris kind of bent forward and
00:22:12
kind of put his face out like with you
00:22:14
know let's talk about it all the time it
00:22:16
was like he did not think he was gonna
00:22:19
slap him hey whoever this is that keep
00:22:22
calling me man tell him to stop doing
00:22:24
that come get this phone
00:22:27
hey hey
00:22:29
Fernandez somebody come get this phone
00:22:31
yeah yeah I'm gonna stop I it was me but
00:22:35
anyway I uh
00:22:38
Santa keeps calling her yeah I don't
00:22:42
hold the stage when I've had drunks come
00:22:44
on the stage I just leave the stage so I
00:22:46
probably would have danced if I was if I
00:22:48
were I would have maybe backed up I just
00:22:51
I would not have stood there I would
00:22:52
have ran
00:22:53
so yeah well yeah if he didn't think
00:22:55
it's coming and but if it does happen I
00:22:58
think that that was gonna happen like
00:23:00
you honestly think that maybe he was
00:23:02
gonna come up and go hey man don't say
00:23:04
that [ __ ] about my wife don't talk that
00:23:06
[ __ ] about me or not no but will went
00:23:08
straight for
00:23:10
or he could have been doing a bit and
00:23:12
gone put his hand on his shoulder and go
00:23:14
listen right I'm just gonna and get a
00:23:17
laugh by doing something like right why
00:23:19
I oughta I'm thinking you're not
00:23:21
thinking that it's just a very bad
00:23:24
situation all around I I [ __ ] hate
00:23:27
that it if I I hate that it happened
00:23:30
yeah oh it made me sick
00:23:32
very bad yeah on both States it's just
00:23:36
like [ __ ]
00:23:37
[ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ]
00:23:40
[ __ ] I said the same thing I said five
00:23:45
well yeah it triggered David and I
00:23:48
because we were pipsqueaks in the back
00:23:50
in the day we're kind of Burly and
00:23:52
strong men now but we got bullied a lot
00:23:55
you know so it triggered us just because
00:23:57
Will's so much bigger than Chris but you
00:23:59
know
00:24:00
um but did did it really trigger you
00:24:02
though for real oh yeah made me feel
00:24:04
maybe sense memory of of stuff you know
00:24:07
uh yeah well embarrassing him I'm a big
00:24:11
black dude beating you up no no uh you
00:24:14
know
00:24:15
well sure yeah no my father my my father
00:24:19
's Irish Scottish you know Irish Sky oh
00:24:22
my God it was black yeah yeah yeah
00:24:26
black guys too when Dana like Dana and I
00:24:30
grew up and we were both uh you know not
00:24:32
a pipsqueak is a strong word it's
00:24:35
accurate but it's true and uh we would
00:24:38
get pushed around from my older brother
00:24:40
to just everyone at school and mixed
00:24:42
neighborhoods where I was such an easy
00:24:44
target
00:24:45
and just so it's ingraining you and you
00:24:48
just get it just is pushed down because
00:24:50
you can't really fight back and if you
00:24:52
do you lose and so you learn to just
00:24:54
take it but it's hard to take after a
00:24:56
while and having Chris do that on a
00:24:58
national audience worldwide and you're
00:25:00
like oh my God and his head he's like
00:25:01
should I have just [ __ ] Dove down on
00:25:03
him even if I lost at least because
00:25:05
there's half the people going why you
00:25:07
fight back you know just a very tough
00:25:09
thing to live with dude let me tell you
00:25:11
something ask and I'm speaking for a
00:25:13
black perspective it's bad for us
00:25:16
because it's like what the [ __ ] just
00:25:18
happened on national TV on a platform
00:25:21
that we hardly get on in a good way and
00:25:24
this happens that's what it's it's off
00:25:27
it's some that's some after party [ __ ]
00:25:29
that happened on the [ __ ] stage and
00:25:32
it's just like
00:25:33
like for us it's like [ __ ] on both on
00:25:37
both ends it's like what the [ __ ] you
00:25:39
you this moment wasn't supposed to be
00:25:42
that you know what I'm saying and then
00:25:44
on Chris's point this is I mean to me he
00:25:47
was the braver part of taking what
00:25:50
happened to him and still [ __ ]
00:25:52
rolling like like y'all need to
00:25:54
understand that this [ __ ] happened in
00:25:55
front of his kids in front of in front
00:25:58
of his mom in front of that's a lot to
00:26:00
[ __ ] deal with and it's just then on
00:26:02
top of pack of this like oh two black
00:26:04
people just got [ __ ] on in the fight
00:26:07
on National [ __ ] TV where where
00:26:10
everybody's watching the world is
00:26:13
watching oh yeah so and if they don't
00:26:15
see it they see that clip it's it's
00:26:17
[ __ ] awful it's awful so all around
00:26:21
it's terrible you know but Chris kept
00:26:25
talking which was it was mind-boggling
00:26:27
that he could even talk instead of just
00:26:29
be stunned like so much going through
00:26:31
your mind he's still reading the cards
00:26:32
saying the next thing okay
00:26:34
and continuing which you almost just
00:26:37
want to stare off and go
00:26:38
what's going on what do I do yeah it was
00:26:42
it was great he was great yeah Chris
00:26:44
Chris was bullied too as a kid and uh
00:26:46
yeah he he was so poised and then what
00:26:49
did you I mean his special a year later
00:26:52
all keep reporting the whole thing and
00:26:54
then he does his special
00:26:56
and and lands it really really hard uh
00:26:59
we were all there together yeah yes I
00:27:03
feel like everybody need to understand
00:27:04
too that Comics like if real good Comics
00:27:08
take that [ __ ] to the stage I mean you
00:27:11
know I think again like us we know a lot
00:27:15
of comics that didn't take it to the
00:27:16
stage and lost their [ __ ] mind you
00:27:18
know what I'm saying because that is
00:27:20
what you're supposed to do we are
00:27:23
uh somewhat uh I think of gestures
00:27:27
because Jesters was very much used by
00:27:31
the King when he wanted to raise taxes
00:27:33
so let me make him laugh but the
00:27:35
gestures [ __ ] made fun of everybody
00:27:37
so yeah it's it's it's we're we're we
00:27:40
are that sheet of like you're not in
00:27:42
this alone and and listen instead of
00:27:45
crying let's laugh about this [ __ ] like
00:27:46
that we are very important
00:27:50
people as far as Comics comedy and and
00:27:53
its form of it you know what I'm saying
00:27:55
so
00:27:57
yeah he had to talk about it I think he
00:27:59
played it smart weighted does a special
00:28:01
talks about it at the end
00:28:03
everyone's everyone's riveted yeah it
00:28:06
not only that's what I told everybody I
00:28:08
was like this this is where we know that
00:28:11
comedy you know like people just take
00:28:14
this taking advantage of it because you
00:28:17
know Tick Tock ever I think they funny
00:28:19
everybody yeah everybody thinks
00:28:22
everybody thinks and then you go they
00:28:24
just they go on the road and uh it's
00:28:26
this is what I want to tell you is
00:28:28
that's that's that most people learn
00:28:31
when they try to [ __ ] with that [ __ ] and
00:28:33
then they go to Omaha Nebraska and don't
00:28:35
got no [ __ ] material do you
00:28:37
understand what I'm saying oh yeah yeah
00:28:39
yeah so you know everybody think they're
00:28:42
funny everybody don't understand really
00:28:44
the development of what comedy really is
00:28:46
as far as being a real uh gangster and
00:28:49
doing that [ __ ] live first of all and
00:28:53
then talking about that [ __ ] on National
00:28:56
Television knowing the [ __ ] that
00:28:58
did it is watching
00:29:00
oh yeah yeah still there
00:29:03
oh yeah oh that oh you mean that when he
00:29:05
did on a special oh you know he was
00:29:07
watching oh yeah but it's true I mean it
00:29:09
is it is a club that takes a lot of work
00:29:11
to get into I I think you can take a
00:29:13
five-year-old and maybe get him an Oscar
00:29:15
if you if you make them sad and they
00:29:18
could or at least nominated but no
00:29:20
nobody can just walk on stage the first
00:29:22
night and have an hour stand up it's
00:29:24
such a hard road to get there I don't
00:29:27
understand that it takes time
00:29:28
everybody's like why do you waste so
00:29:30
long well
00:29:31
hey [ __ ] like it takes time to
00:29:33
develop a great set
00:29:35
you know
00:29:37
and you gotta re and it's funny because
00:29:39
every set is a little different even if
00:29:42
people don't really notice but some
00:29:44
Crowds Are a little more into you
00:29:45
sometimes your attitude is a little
00:29:46
different sometimes you're like God if I
00:29:48
do the if I do the joke exactly like
00:29:50
this it should work every time and
00:29:52
sometimes it just doesn't you go did I
00:29:54
get off on the wrong foot did I miss a
00:29:56
word like it's so it's so hard to nail
00:29:58
it every night there's still big bomb
00:30:00
nights for me I'm sure they are for you
00:30:02
guys it's just that's the hard part is
00:30:04
it's not bulletproof you just it's still
00:30:07
hard still hard out there the scariest
00:30:09
part is then they ask you to record it
00:30:11
so you go we don't know what the [ __ ] is
00:30:14
gonna happen tonight like yeah yeah
00:30:16
that's terrifying um I did that show
00:30:19
[ __ ] great five nights ago why didn't
00:30:21
you record it I use that one well when
00:30:24
you TR when you taped uh Problem Child
00:30:27
was it one night I mean you had one shot
00:30:29
because I I only I I would have two
00:30:31
shots but I heard that other Comics
00:30:33
would have ten tapings five tapings that
00:30:37
was so weird that if I could go back a
00:30:40
problem child would have been such a
00:30:42
different thing
00:30:43
um that was 20 material that was the
00:30:46
first time I ever did a comment a
00:30:47
conversation we did it twice
00:30:49
two shows
00:30:52
um
00:30:53
oh but I was oh God which show was
00:30:56
better
00:30:58
to this day I don't remember I just
00:31:00
remember both of them being successful
00:31:02
for me as far as like I got what I
00:31:04
wanted because I didn't understand that
00:31:07
like when I look at private child now I
00:31:09
go that's great I was funny I was a very
00:31:12
funny comic but now I'm just like
00:31:15
different levels yes you just I I'll
00:31:18
blow that [ __ ] out the water now
00:31:20
because I'm intricate you know you're
00:31:22
more intricate you're more you're more
00:31:24
like my SNL did that before me John and
00:31:27
be honest SNL put shelves in my head
00:31:29
like they helped me organize a lot of
00:31:32
things that I want to do on stage so
00:31:35
right because you're I like that
00:31:36
description yeah you want to keep keep
00:31:39
the spontaneity a sense of it but also
00:31:43
have some organizational structure to
00:31:45
get on a ride with the audience to
00:31:47
really really power them and not be
00:31:49
start stopping right well and also too
00:31:51
people need to understand this is our
00:31:53
job so it's a tool so now we a set a set
00:31:57
is a [ __ ] tool so it's just like if I
00:32:00
stepped on stage and opened up a thing
00:32:02
and pulled my set out you know what I'm
00:32:04
saying that's that's what it is you know
00:32:06
that's and that's what people [ __ ]
00:32:08
don't understand when they're up there
00:32:11
[ __ ] over my goddamn
00:32:14
oh yeah
00:32:17
just because you made people laugh in
00:32:19
the living room does not make you a
00:32:21
[ __ ] comic yeah oh no I mean a tick
00:32:24
tock I saw a guy in Tick Tock you ever
00:32:26
seen these do they do these little
00:32:27
pranks and you just want to get the guy
00:32:29
to get their ass [ __ ] kicked this guy
00:32:31
goes up to a guy and he just Clips off
00:32:33
his he's on earphones this older guy in
00:32:35
a in a you know mall he cuts his
00:32:38
earphones off and the guy goes what are
00:32:40
you doing man the kid's like what I
00:32:42
didn't do anything and I'm like do you
00:32:43
know how fast someone should beat the
00:32:45
[ __ ] [ __ ] out of you and the guy's
00:32:47
like don't touch me don't touch me and
00:32:49
you think the are these pranks are these
00:32:51
humor he's getting 10 million views or
00:32:53
something and you go no reward should be
00:32:55
put for that the guy thinks he's
00:32:57
hilarious because it's called shot
00:33:00
comedy like it's a generation that's
00:33:03
come along
00:33:04
we sound old it's funny little [ __ ]
00:33:07
[ __ ] like they take they take pranks
00:33:10
and they think it's funny and
00:33:12
emotionally you are inept you are
00:33:16
emotionally inept
00:33:18
if you think that it's funny to go up
00:33:20
and Destroy somebody's property and then
00:33:23
not expect them to beat the living [ __ ]
00:33:26
on him yeah it's that [ __ ] never happens
00:33:28
to me because that's what would happen I
00:33:32
have quit dogs Not only would I dog
00:33:35
stuff that [ __ ] and then I would
00:33:38
call a couple of my friends to come up
00:33:41
and dog stomp them with me and then I
00:33:44
would call his friends because his
00:33:46
friends are probably [ __ ] too and
00:33:48
have them come up to get him and then
00:33:51
boom them [ __ ] so they not know
00:33:54
they could go out
00:33:57
yeah yeah because Dana you don't see it
00:34:01
as much but like on Tick Tock they'll be
00:34:03
in a store and just throw a kick they
00:34:06
throw a ball like in someone's face and
00:34:07
act like they didn't do it and someone
00:34:09
gets like their next snap and you're
00:34:10
like
00:34:11
basically the premise is I look cool you
00:34:15
look stupid I get all the benefit of it
00:34:18
and you look like an [ __ ] and I'm a
00:34:20
hero it's so ridiculous anyway it just
00:34:23
it's just shot comedy I used to always
00:34:25
say that to Pete I was like you know
00:34:27
that [ __ ] don't last don't nobody like
00:34:28
when [ __ ] just fart in the room
00:34:30
that's stupid you're a child that shit's
00:34:33
a child yeah you're a Snicker yeah but
00:34:36
it's stupid like how old are you you
00:34:38
know what I mean like it's like people
00:34:40
don't understand that that shock comedy
00:34:42
[ __ ] it does not last and it don't work
00:34:44
on stage unless you're really funny the
00:34:47
only people who can pull that off and
00:34:49
again you have to be doing comedy for a
00:34:52
while to learn it that's what that's
00:34:54
what's wrong with the new Jacks they
00:34:55
don't want to [ __ ] learn the song
00:34:57
they just want to start singing they
00:34:59
don't want to learn the notes they don't
00:35:01
want to learn how the arrangement is
00:35:02
they don't want to learn how to
00:35:04
instruments or use they just want to get
00:35:05
on that [ __ ] start singing and
00:35:07
it don't work like that that's because
00:35:09
you got a [ __ ] lucky chance and sang
00:35:11
the song Once right yeah that's a good
00:35:13
way put it and also they'll they'll book
00:35:16
they'll book influencers or YouTube
00:35:18
Stars nothing against them but they'll
00:35:20
book them in clubs and then it's like oh
00:35:27
what about when you got an SNL did you
00:35:30
feel like I mean I think Dana agrees
00:35:32
it's such a different muscle to write a
00:35:35
sketch or write something so you you got
00:35:37
hired sight unseen I think from Rock
00:35:39
through Lauren right
00:35:41
audition and everything uh you know I I
00:35:44
went audition
00:35:46
um oh you did okay yeah n8h yeah yeah
00:35:49
yeah addition and age did a bit and
00:35:52
everything I got lost in the little
00:35:53
catacombs I was like Chris you know
00:35:55
Chris uh that runs subscribers like
00:35:57
Chris Kelly that runs the floor he just
00:36:00
told me to walk straight but I did not
00:36:01
just turned because it was so many turns
00:36:03
and [ __ ] and he was like why didn't you
00:36:05
just walk straight and see you could
00:36:06
hear him fussing at me in the back and I
00:36:08
was like because I I look like I'm
00:36:09
supposed to go this way but I'm supposed
00:36:11
to go that way he was like just go
00:36:12
straight just go straight so that all
00:36:15
this is happening and they can oh my God
00:36:17
it's like so by the time I got to the
00:36:19
stage they're already laughing at me so
00:36:21
uh yeah yeah I went to say budget but
00:36:24
could you talk about your mindset on
00:36:26
that because you did it in the book it's
00:36:28
kind of interesting because that's a
00:36:29
place where you can fold under the
00:36:31
pressure but you had sort of a switch in
00:36:33
your head where you took control go
00:36:35
ahead we are real Comics this is when
00:36:38
the real always comes the [ __ ] out and
00:36:41
destroys fake ass [ __ ] because
00:36:44
whether you're a rich if you can work or
00:36:46
not you know if you're a good renter a
00:36:49
bad wrench you about to get proven right
00:36:51
now so those moments when I saw that
00:36:54
dark [ __ ] the first thing I thought was
00:36:56
Comedy Store
00:36:57
1 30 morning let's go
00:37:00
how many times have we done The Comedy
00:37:02
Store and there's been like two people
00:37:03
in there and you still go up because
00:37:05
what you want that 15 at least that's
00:37:07
why I went up because I need to get that
00:37:10
check
00:37:10
and you need to get enough of them to
00:37:12
equal a hundred dollars
00:37:15
so and you want to win you go I've
00:37:17
treated like it's a crowded room yes
00:37:20
it was a mindset of like [ __ ] it
00:37:23
something a real
00:37:24
silly
00:37:27
honest it was I didn't go in there
00:37:29
thinking they was going to give me the
00:37:30
job anyway I I honestly whenever I go
00:37:34
into a job I don't think that the person
00:37:36
that I'm going in to interview is brave
00:37:39
enough to pick me
00:37:41
do you get what I'm saying so when I
00:37:42
went into SMA I was like
00:37:44
no way they're gonna make me a [ __ ]
00:37:46
cast member not write off now
00:37:48
now I'm gonna have to I'ma definitely
00:37:50
have to massage these people
00:37:52
like it's something that you realize
00:37:54
about yourself
00:37:56
did you did Lauren did you see his
00:37:59
reaction after your audition or was
00:38:00
there any exchange after that I knew he
00:38:04
thought I was funny and I think when I
00:38:06
met with him I think when I finally had
00:38:08
a meeting with him I was so nervous
00:38:10
because I was sitting there in front of
00:38:12
a [ __ ] that she's seen on TV now
00:38:14
I again I'm still always this person
00:38:17
when I see somebody that I see on TV
00:38:19
I'll be like damn
00:38:20
guess that dude that's the dude from TV
00:38:23
like you don't look nothing like that
00:38:25
and it just it was fascinating to see
00:38:27
that whatever comes out of you you start
00:38:29
talking so he's like small like so he's
00:38:33
small but like you know he has so much
00:38:36
power so I think I was very nervous and
00:38:38
then the first thing I thought was okay
00:38:40
white people like to hear names that
00:38:43
they know so and I knew Eddie Murphy so
00:38:45
I was like I know Eddie Murphy Eddie
00:38:46
Murphy said I'm funny so
00:38:48
and he was like oh okay okay I'm pretty
00:38:51
I'm pretty respected
00:38:54
right
00:38:57
okay that's that's I'm glad uh and I was
00:39:03
like all right you know because in my
00:39:05
head again this man is what 60 something
00:39:08
I'm 40 something we grown people like
00:39:10
I'm grown too like the [ __ ] like this
00:39:13
interview but I'm growing it I'm an
00:39:15
adult like I used to tell Steve all the
00:39:17
time [ __ ] we Mark the same on an
00:39:20
insurance form we we Mark the same age
00:39:22
group don't [ __ ] come at me like I'm
00:39:24
one of these little children
00:39:26
laughs
00:39:30
I love the defiant sign I I'm such a
00:39:33
it's great it's awesome you also
00:39:36
um you know Lauren is very buttoned down
00:39:39
I mean he's almost British in a sense
00:39:41
you know and reserved in that way but
00:39:43
all this emotions right under the
00:39:45
surface and you would be more
00:39:46
demonstrative with him oh because
00:39:50
again it's like I said who's really been
00:39:54
in this game and like
00:39:56
come from pimps hustlers
00:39:59
crackheads uh you know you know how to
00:40:02
work a person's ebook you know how to
00:40:05
you know how to read someone Lauren
00:40:07
Lauren to you guys is so powerful and
00:40:09
[ __ ] but to me he was just like this
00:40:12
older man that was cool and probably
00:40:15
misunderstood because everybody's scared
00:40:17
of him so I used to always be just like
00:40:19
I'm gonna talk to him like ain't nobody
00:40:21
saying hello why y'all running Lauren
00:40:24
like whenever we would sit back I would
00:40:27
I would you know like I would fix this
00:40:29
plate like any time he would ask me to
00:40:31
come I would always come dressed to the
00:40:33
nines because he likes that type of [ __ ]
00:40:35
he he believes in the the like when we
00:40:39
snare beside each other in there
00:40:40
flashing the pictures he he he he loves
00:40:43
that for the person that he's helping
00:40:46
because he wants them to understand this
00:40:47
is a this is a different world let's see
00:40:49
just a different world perceived what I
00:40:51
had to explain the Lord was that yeah
00:40:53
children love that [ __ ] I'm not a child
00:40:56
anymore I've been through a gang of [ __ ]
00:40:58
you know I'm not a kid no more so them
00:41:00
flashing their lights it's not
00:41:01
impressive to me because see I'm Leslie
00:41:04
Jones of course they're flashing the
00:41:06
lights
00:41:07
you know stop that [ __ ] so I can enjoy
00:41:09
my pasta
00:41:11
you you're gonna get your picture so and
00:41:13
that's and at any end I think he finally
00:41:15
understood that but you know he did say
00:41:19
to me I think Danny I don't know if he
00:41:21
said to you he said you know
00:41:23
if you're a star you should look like a
00:41:25
star
00:41:26
like dress up like look like a story
00:41:28
goes you see these big stars and you go
00:41:30
that's a star yeah and that's and I
00:41:31
don't think I ever totally did it but I
00:41:33
go I get it you know well you want to
00:41:35
play the part it depends though because
00:41:38
the world is changing everyone see you
00:41:40
know like it's true yeah Leonardo the
00:41:43
capital that what they would say to me
00:41:44
is like oh my God you're so different
00:41:46
because live that Leo would never dude I
00:41:48
was like yeah you know that's a
00:41:49
different type of starve like you know
00:41:51
everybody used to always wish and I used
00:41:54
to always say this like if I become
00:41:55
famous I'm gonna be like Arsenio Arsenio
00:41:58
can walk through the city like you know
00:42:00
Magic Johnson can walk through the city
00:42:01
I don't want to be like Michael Jackson
00:42:03
Hold up in my [ __ ] house and
00:42:05
can't come out nowhere like I still go
00:42:08
to Ralph's like you'll see me on Ralph's
00:42:10
like you'll see me at Ralph's I love
00:42:11
Ralphs are you kidding that [ __ ] cake
00:42:13
I'm going to get my own cake like
00:42:17
you're not gonna stop me from going to
00:42:19
the farmer's market there's a no there's
00:42:22
[ __ ] chicken uh wrapped in bacon
00:42:24
restaurant there no
00:42:35
what I had to tell him though like what
00:42:38
he had to learn was that I understood
00:42:40
what he was trying to I I understood
00:42:42
that that's the starting but at that
00:42:44
point in my life that was at the stardom
00:42:47
that I wanted and if he would have
00:42:48
called me in my 20s and 30s I'd have ate
00:42:51
that [ __ ] up I'd have ate that [ __ ] up
00:42:53
but I might have burnt the [ __ ] out too
00:42:55
and not really even became as good as I
00:42:58
am now
00:42:59
and you feel right now you're the best
00:43:03
stand-up you've ever been oh I feel like
00:43:05
I'm a samurai I feel like I've graduated
00:43:08
to the class of life I will [ __ ] please
00:43:11
don't challenge me I'm that [ __ ] I'm
00:43:13
gonna erase you know like like I earned
00:43:17
my [ __ ] Stripes as far as oh what
00:43:20
what surprises me is that people don't
00:43:22
know I'm a stand-up and people should
00:43:23
say so you do stand up and I would be
00:43:26
like
00:43:27
what my hair was so offensive like do
00:43:30
you know how many chicks you know how
00:43:32
many bills I paid would stand up
00:43:34
[ __ ] I would kill you
00:43:36
now that this book is out everybody's
00:43:38
gonna know I mean it's really the
00:43:41
journey when you're at SNL do you have
00:43:43
any did you have any friction with
00:43:44
people because you're a strong
00:43:45
personality or is it just sort of every
00:43:46
man for himself you're just out there or
00:43:48
you just worked at SNL you know there's
00:43:50
always friction with people of course
00:43:52
yeah I mean you know of course but you
00:43:54
know it's like a family thing you get
00:43:57
inside that bubble you know
00:44:00
again I put it like this snls for young
00:44:04
[ __ ] because it's a high school
00:44:06
you go in there and you follow those
00:44:08
those those steps that they have but the
00:44:10
older person going into that [ __ ] like
00:44:13
no I'm not feeling no I'm not gonna do
00:44:15
that no no I'm not gonna go to that
00:44:18
party no no no I'm not gonna like I
00:44:22
think I remember when I started to have
00:44:24
this rule where the new cast members
00:44:26
would have to sit in the back of the
00:44:27
restaurant doing the After parties I'll
00:44:29
be like no and I would go and get my
00:44:32
[ __ ] to go and I would go home I could
00:44:35
sit in the back of my house
00:44:45
I know you [ __ ] lying yo I went up
00:44:48
and got my [ __ ] to go and [ __ ] left
00:44:50
like like like it was [ __ ] like that
00:44:54
that I did like this is my thing that I
00:44:56
would tell Lauren all the time we're the
00:44:58
cast members like it it it's very much
00:45:01
to what I would tell promoters and and
00:45:04
club Owners we are the comics you don't
00:45:07
have no show without us like like like
00:45:09
don't stop treating us like we're the
00:45:11
lowest of the totem pole and [ __ ]
00:45:13
start treating us like the [ __ ] cats
00:45:16
like like I understand you gotta get a
00:45:18
show you ain't got the torture and
00:45:20
[ __ ] humiliate no [ __ ] body to get
00:45:22
a show out of them we want to be here I
00:45:25
want to do the show
00:45:26
I suffrage shouldn't be so much part of
00:45:30
[ __ ] getting across I understand that
00:45:34
there is some pan dudes trust me I
00:45:36
understand I've been a comic I
00:45:38
understand that you got to learn the
00:45:40
machine and that is something that I had
00:45:42
to learn too is that this machine is
00:45:44
bigger than me I need to learn the
00:45:45
machine but there is just still a line
00:45:48
of like God damn it that like don't make
00:45:52
it struggle like this shouldn't be high
00:45:54
school
00:45:55
and it was very high school sometimes to
00:45:58
where I was very grown to be like I will
00:46:01
pull my belt off and discipline you in
00:46:03
this [ __ ] hallway don't you [ __ ]
00:46:05
talk to me like that I'm older no I
00:46:08
remember telling Lindsey Shook this one
00:46:09
time I said [ __ ] I'm older than you
00:46:10
where's my yes ma'am
00:46:13
where the [ __ ] is my yes ma'am
00:46:16
like uh-uh that's that's some of the
00:46:19
[ __ ] that I didn't like you know that
00:46:21
like like some of the the [ __ ] that
00:46:22
would go on is like yo you you're not
00:46:25
old enough to tell me to shut up
00:46:29
yeah girl you can't fight me
00:46:33
and I would tell Lauren all the time who
00:46:35
gonna come over here and get me
00:46:37
who Who you gonna send who gonna fight
00:46:40
me
00:46:41
really you tell Laura
00:46:44
Kenny aim on oh my God lord is actually
00:46:47
thinking like maybe Seth Meyers he would
00:46:51
go live you're lucky Rob Schneider he's
00:46:53
not still here brother and he would just
00:46:54
be laughing because I would be like
00:46:56
Lauren I'm about to whoop his ass tell
00:46:57
me not to
00:46:58
I remember one time I wanted to whoop
00:47:01
Steve's ass I was like yo Lauren you
00:47:03
need to tell me not to whoop his ass he
00:47:05
was like please don't whoop his ass
00:47:07
well I think people should know at this
00:47:09
point that you were National I mean you
00:47:14
you went to Chapman University on a full
00:47:16
basketball scholarship so part of your
00:47:19
kick-assery
00:47:20
uh and physicality is from being an
00:47:23
athlete and you know and competitive
00:47:25
competitive athlete and trash talking
00:47:28
you know don't take [ __ ] from anyone I
00:47:31
was always the biggest kid so I was
00:47:33
always maybe I was a bully sometimes and
00:47:35
sometimes I was the hero so yeah I took
00:47:38
that into grown-up grown up hood you
00:47:41
know what I'm saying did you did you
00:47:42
find people to write with that you jive
00:47:44
with or do you have to write all your
00:47:45
own stuff you talking about that SNL
00:47:48
yeah if they needed me for a certain
00:47:50
character they were right for me but if
00:47:52
like I wanted to do some [ __ ] it had to
00:47:55
be something that they really wanted to
00:47:56
do does that make sense so it's it was
00:47:58
it it wasn't like X there were some cast
00:48:01
members that had people that wrote for
00:48:03
them all the time yeah I didn't have
00:48:05
that yeah I mean Tucker Tucker was
00:48:07
always the one that would step up and
00:48:09
write for me and Keenan but as far as
00:48:11
like being in a in a Kent sketch
00:48:14
sometimes when I would beg James and you
00:48:16
know they you know it just was very that
00:48:19
much like what they wrote for whoever
00:48:21
they wanted to write I mean they wrote
00:48:23
for that person you know what I'm saying
00:48:25
I think it's been I think it's been like
00:48:26
that there's a couple that got taken
00:48:28
care of a lot and then uh gravitated to
00:48:30
and then maybe you focused on update or
00:48:32
just that you knew your own sense your
00:48:34
updating stuff was what was really
00:48:36
really yeah and see if I would have
00:48:40
liked that to be told to me then to be
00:48:42
just like okay yeah you want you in
00:48:45
sketches too but only time you have me
00:48:46
in the sketches if I'm fighting in
00:48:48
somebody or if I'm cursing somebody out
00:48:51
or if I'm having sex with them or you
00:48:53
know it was just like you know I'm more
00:48:55
like a prop kind of yeah it wasn't yeah
00:48:58
so like like when they put me in the
00:49:00
Weezer sketch which which I was so happy
00:49:04
they put me in that because I was like
00:49:05
this is so much different than what they
00:49:08
usually do and I love that you know I
00:49:10
wanted stuff like that I wanted to be
00:49:12
like you know how they used to have the
00:49:13
singing chipmunks like and I wanted to
00:49:16
be in [ __ ] like that that it's just like
00:49:18
hard to get and stuff like that
00:49:20
yeah
00:49:22
well they sort of see you a certain way
00:49:23
they see every cast member like through
00:49:25
a certain lens and if you don't fit in
00:49:26
there myself
00:49:29
yeah and maybe they did what they say
00:49:32
all they have to do is say either play
00:49:33
this really straight or play down give
00:49:35
you a tiny bit of direction and if
00:49:37
you're there
00:49:38
it's so funny that you're saying that
00:49:40
because that's what I would scream to
00:49:41
them I said I know you think that since
00:49:44
I'm Leslie that I'm gonna take over the
00:49:46
sketch I already know what you're
00:49:48
thinking that's why you're not putting
00:49:49
me in the sketch because you think I'm
00:49:51
gonna make myself the man I'm not tell
00:49:53
me what to do I know how to play Down I
00:49:57
know how to play down I've been with
00:49:59
myself for 40 some years you think I
00:50:02
haven't been told to shut them hey you
00:50:04
allowed
00:50:05
you think I haven't been told you you
00:50:09
don't think like I know how you you get
00:50:11
it you go tell me this sketch totally
00:50:13
what is the feel of it okay we're all
00:50:15
playing it under it great all the time I
00:50:17
said if you write me loud I'm gonna play
00:50:19
loud but if you write me this way I'm
00:50:21
gonna play that way just because I'm and
00:50:23
it would just be like you don't
00:50:24
understand when you're in the sketch
00:50:26
you're just this and I was like well I'm
00:50:28
[ __ ] sorry I'm like I'm well quit
00:50:30
writing my character with that would
00:50:32
have been so much fun to see you play a
00:50:34
Wallflower or very shy person yeah you
00:50:37
know really
00:50:41
um
00:50:42
you know nerdy says friend love interest
00:50:45
yeah
00:50:47
that's what I used to tell alone all the
00:50:49
time I was like it's a [ __ ] Lauren
00:50:52
actually but like what can you do when
00:50:54
you have all those elements you like a
00:50:56
puppet master at that point you it's
00:50:58
very I know I'm pretty sure he was very
00:51:00
disappointed when I was disappointed
00:51:02
because he used to love when I would do
00:51:03
the cow the cow videos because I could
00:51:06
show how good I could act he's like
00:51:07
you're really good actress and I would
00:51:09
tell them to tell these [ __ ]
00:51:10
like these [ __ ] and tell them
00:51:13
to do it but it's like how much how much
00:51:16
control really I wonder if he had I
00:51:19
don't know
00:51:20
I don't think he tries to the energy to
00:51:23
at any age to micromanage I think he's
00:51:26
more you know he's directing the show
00:51:28
and producing it but not specifically I
00:51:32
know you'll figure it out it'd be nice
00:51:33
if it had like an ending and maybe maybe
00:51:36
put Leslie in there you know
00:51:39
um would wouldn't be a it all shakes out
00:51:42
like they shake out and at the end
00:51:43
Kristen Wiggs always going to do well
00:51:45
you know I mean each show it kind of was
00:51:48
like these people get lost in the
00:51:50
shuffle these people come out ahead
00:51:52
someone rights for them and they get a
00:51:54
good spot up front you know we're in a
00:51:55
good spot in the studio you know how
00:51:57
that is if you're right up front it's
00:51:58
great out in the corners right but the
00:52:01
writers would write for you know more
00:52:03
redundantly for someone who's scoring or
00:52:05
they think if I write with this person
00:52:07
my sketch will get on so it becomes kind
00:52:09
of a tape Loop where you know like I I
00:52:12
didn't really mind but I never would
00:52:14
play a game show host which I didn't
00:52:16
need to when Phil Hartman was there the
00:52:19
great Phil Hartman like right or or Will
00:52:22
Ferrell like certain people like that's
00:52:24
our game show host guy but um your stuff
00:52:27
you know they would always give me the
00:52:29
looks the looks the the word like the
00:52:32
lines because they knew and and
00:52:34
sometimes too I would help them tell the
00:52:36
joke that they're trying to tell like I
00:52:38
know what you're trying I know what
00:52:40
you're trying to achieve and you're not
00:52:41
achieving it with what you wrote uh uh
00:52:44
uh Chris Kelly and um
00:52:47
can't think of the the other girl's name
00:52:49
the girl that used to ride with him but
00:52:51
when I first got there Sarah Chris and
00:52:54
Sarah at first when I got there I did
00:52:56
not like them I thought they was very
00:52:57
you know high schooly or cliquish but
00:52:59
honestly on real talk like they were
00:53:03
really good writers they were really
00:53:06
good writers and they were specific
00:53:07
about what they wanted and they would
00:53:09
write very up-to-date stuff matter of
00:53:11
fact when they left it was noticed like
00:53:14
yeah I remember texting them going I
00:53:16
know y'all ain't gonna believe hearing
00:53:18
this from me but I miss you
00:53:19
[ __ ]
00:53:25
Tim Robinson and that oh my God they
00:53:29
would write those when they left I was
00:53:32
like there's no hope because those four
00:53:34
people would actually write there's no
00:53:36
hope Tim Robinson the one that does
00:53:38
these crazy show I think of the best
00:53:41
hysterical he would write some of the
00:53:43
best [ __ ] for me and and just like I
00:53:47
love there was there I mean there were
00:53:49
people who tried I guess but I don't
00:53:51
[ __ ] know I don't know if it was just
00:53:53
a certain thing that they wanted me to
00:53:55
always be like I don't know what the
00:53:57
[ __ ] but at some point like in my 20s
00:54:00
again in my 20s 30s you can do that [ __ ]
00:54:03
because I can take the time to build
00:54:05
myself on the outside and do that or
00:54:07
whatever and when it's time for me to go
00:54:09
I'm gonna be still young but when you 47
00:54:12
hey man
00:54:21
I was sarcastic Leslie and so they go
00:54:25
they have all these Comedians and we're
00:54:28
all kind of the same so they just go if
00:54:30
it's this piece of it's not just we need
00:54:32
someone funny it's like oh sarcasm give
00:54:35
it to Spade he's that's his three
00:54:37
percent of the comedy he can do you get
00:54:39
that line this one goofy Sandler fall
00:54:42
down Farley it was like that kind of
00:54:44
stuff you know Schneider had a lot of
00:54:46
accents Dane had a lot of Impressions
00:54:49
press on Dana put a dress on him yeah
00:54:53
we'll be fine you understand what that
00:54:55
is it's an institution is that's what
00:54:58
happens in Instagram and there's too
00:55:00
many people so they go we've got someone
00:55:02
that can do this
00:55:04
unless they can do that and so if it was
00:55:06
less like in the old SNL days they might
00:55:09
say Leslie now you have to come in and
00:55:11
play garth's girlfriend because we're
00:55:12
out of people so you and then you get
00:55:14
bigger because you're showing more moves
00:55:17
exactly exactly exactly but and if you
00:55:20
fumble it they don't write it for you
00:55:22
but if you go out there and do it then
00:55:23
they might believe in it and go oh [ __ ]
00:55:25
we'll give her something else just like
00:55:26
just let me do one just let me do one
00:55:29
yeah
00:55:31
I you know I think Lauren looks at the
00:55:33
writers and the castes like the Congress
00:55:36
there's just they're two different
00:55:37
houses of government in a way yeah
00:55:41
yeah and this they're they're in their
00:55:44
own world I think that and Lauren would
00:55:46
say this he like when they start to
00:55:49
cross-pollinate and integrate the
00:55:51
comedian quote unquote because I I did
00:55:53
have a writer's credit is integrating
00:55:55
with the writers so who were your
00:55:58
Champions I mean besides I guess Tim
00:56:00
really or writers that just like I said
00:56:03
Tucker Tucker would always come here
00:56:05
always come through uh I mean like I
00:56:08
wanted to get something actually written
00:56:10
I would go to Tucker and be like hey
00:56:11
this is what I want to write and he he
00:56:14
would make it happen oh that's good
00:56:17
um yeah you know so or you or you write
00:56:19
something and you go to someone good
00:56:20
like even Rock I mean we I I was blessed
00:56:23
with all these guys around so you walk
00:56:25
over a rock and say hey will you skim
00:56:26
this and just see if or you come to me
00:56:29
and say Spade just give me two jokes
00:56:30
this is a two-page update bit anything
00:56:33
you can add and then he'd do that to a
00:56:36
couple people because everyone there
00:56:37
where you turned was pretty funny and
00:56:39
and that's a great way to do it and it's
00:56:41
that that feels more of a team effort
00:56:43
but if you can just go to one of those
00:56:45
writers because a lot of them are great
00:56:46
you know every year they have they hire
00:56:48
solid people and you can go hey man just
00:56:51
give me five minutes it's very hard to
00:56:53
ask and it's very hard very hard to get
00:56:55
them to actually say that they're going
00:56:57
to do it because it was yeah they're
00:56:58
busy there's always a lot of oh yeah
00:57:00
I'll be over there and then you don't
00:57:01
right they're they're working on theirs
00:57:04
for seven hours at the door closed and
00:57:05
and yeah
00:57:07
she was just a lot more of like like I
00:57:09
would always take my sketches for Keenan
00:57:11
too and let him read it and and Keenan
00:57:14
always gave me great notes sure go get
00:57:16
something you know the update the update
00:57:18
team is always a different house all
00:57:19
also because when you're doing an update
00:57:21
they're gonna give you everything you
00:57:22
need to do with the update
00:57:25
um but pretty much I always came in with
00:57:26
what it was I wanted to talk about and
00:57:28
they just you know flesh it out but um
00:57:31
yeah yeah I mean you got it I got up for
00:57:34
an Emmy though that's the one thing
00:57:36
that's kind of interesting to do yeah
00:57:37
you're Emmy nominated and you have
00:57:39
Awards and stuff but it's interesting
00:57:40
that in Ghostbusters
00:57:43
you were what did you think of the
00:57:45
character they gave for you in
00:57:47
Ghostbusters listen I always tell people
00:57:49
this and I will
00:57:51
and I know
00:57:52
not a
00:57:55
pumpkin but we did not the movie that we
00:57:58
shot didn't is not the movie that got
00:58:00
released
00:58:00
and and I don't spend three months in
00:58:04
[ __ ] Boston shooting a [ __ ] movie
00:58:06
for it just not to come out to what it
00:58:09
was supposed to come out to and I mean
00:58:11
there are so many great moments that got
00:58:13
missed out because of press because of
00:58:16
dumb [ __ ] sitting behind that
00:58:18
computer or computer Keys mad that women
00:58:21
are playing Ghostbusters like I mean
00:58:24
Trump trump even came out was like women
00:58:26
Ghostbusters like like it was [ __ ]
00:58:28
awful it was just like awful and then it
00:58:31
came down to the point where the studio
00:58:34
really started getting scared instead of
00:58:37
just like [ __ ] like if they were it
00:58:40
is bear down it [ __ ] went on and made
00:58:43
that movie like they didn't spend the
00:58:44
money that they wanted to spend on
00:58:46
special effects and we're like if you're
00:58:48
making a Ghostbuster movie then just
00:58:51
special offense is like the most
00:58:52
important [ __ ] thing like yeah go
00:58:54
ahead there were scenes there was a
00:58:56
scene and I will always say I even put
00:58:59
this in a book there's a scene with
00:59:00
Chris him where when he's on top of the
00:59:02
movie theater and possessed by The Ghost
00:59:05
and he's making the the soldiers dance
00:59:08
and Michael Williams did did a thriller
00:59:12
like uh routine it was the best thing
00:59:15
you will ever see ever it was the two
00:59:20
and the dude that played the um I can't
00:59:23
think of his name that played the white
00:59:24
FBI agent he like white white no rhythm
00:59:30
but he learned that [ __ ] uh
00:59:31
routine and it was freaking incredible
00:59:35
nowhere in the movie
00:59:37
not even test screening you never saw it
00:59:39
you see it in the credits they put it in
00:59:41
the credits you like wow
00:59:44
what it was it was so there were so many
00:59:48
um uh uh stunt scenes that men and and
00:59:51
Kate did there were so many scenes
00:59:53
between Melissa and Kristen that
00:59:56
explained their [ __ ] friendship
00:59:59
they that like when you look at this
01:00:01
movie it you don't understand why
01:00:03
they're such friend but the scenes that
01:00:05
they cut out would explain all of that
01:00:08
it was so annoying because it was just
01:00:11
more of like
01:00:13
I don't understand how come my Society
01:00:15
is the way that it is if anything you're
01:00:19
you have a daughter why would you tell
01:00:21
your daughter she couldn't be a
01:00:22
Ghostbuster
01:00:23
right it seems like that's not where you
01:00:26
you know die in your sword is the
01:00:29
Ghostbusters
01:00:31
yeah I was ridiculous I mean it was so
01:00:33
absurd that it was a problem for
01:00:35
whatever part of humanity I don't know
01:00:37
the small chorus that's makes noise
01:00:39
online but I mean that experience the
01:00:44
filming of it was fun because we really
01:00:47
expected it to be such a great movie
01:00:49
what we were filming we were like this
01:00:51
[ __ ] is gonna this is gonna make all
01:00:53
those [ __ ] shut up and yeah
01:00:55
I'll tell you it's one of the one times
01:00:57
that I ever learned the most valuable
01:00:59
lesson in my life is that I never ever
01:01:01
let anything go out without me watching
01:01:04
it first and we were so confident that
01:01:07
the movie was going to be so good none
01:01:09
of us saw the movie before it came out
01:01:10
they they asked us did we want to go see
01:01:12
it and we were like oh no you can't [ __ ]
01:01:15
this up
01:01:16
oh wow yes they can well sometimes they
01:01:19
don't let you sometimes you see it and
01:01:20
you don't like it and they go too late
01:01:22
and that's that's frustrating too
01:01:23
because you go oh my God now I gotta do
01:01:24
press and I gotta be like this is not
01:01:28
what I thought it's monstrously made and
01:01:31
I don't know the circumstance behind the
01:01:32
scene but man is a movie made in the
01:01:34
editing room and I I was they let Mike
01:01:37
and I in the editing room for Wayne's
01:01:39
World one and the foxy lady scene with
01:01:41
Garth it was just all wrong and so I was
01:01:45
able to fix it it's not simple if it's
01:01:47
your thing but I I'd love to say that
01:01:49
that's an unusual Story the only thing
01:01:52
that's bizarre is you know it's it's
01:01:54
such an unforced error whoever directed
01:01:57
or whoever made it because you had
01:01:59
Melissa McCarthy you had Leslie Jones
01:02:02
you had Chris Christian wig and Kate
01:02:04
mcginnon so that's uh that's an All-Star
01:02:06
Superstar cast a third version now we
01:02:09
should be on the third version of what
01:02:12
the that's how good it was when we were
01:02:14
taping it and it's just it just it just
01:02:18
goes through those machines and it spits
01:02:22
out some [ __ ] that we didn't even
01:02:24
recognize like you think you have four
01:02:26
great you have four great Comedians and
01:02:28
then you go you're actually trying every
01:02:30
day for three months to be funny not
01:02:31
walking through it everyone said they
01:02:33
have scenes together they're not gonna
01:02:35
go home without going it's got to be
01:02:37
funnier
01:02:38
30 pounds doing that shoot and let me
01:02:40
tell you something the [ __ ] things
01:02:42
that the guys had we had metal [ __ ]
01:02:47
packs on us that we were in the Sun
01:02:50
every day there was one night we showed
01:02:52
up and I literally thought that Paul
01:02:55
Faye had turned into my college coach
01:02:58
because he literally said line up and
01:03:02
just start running we were like with
01:03:04
these packs on
01:03:08
we had to run forwards and backwards for
01:03:11
two hours
01:03:15
[Music]
01:03:17
if you if they could tell you how good
01:03:19
the movie do ahead of time you would
01:03:21
work harder because you go oh this one
01:03:23
it's like when you're busting up you're
01:03:25
like is this even in the movie and how
01:03:27
much running do You Really Gonna two
01:03:29
seconds of this you need to get like
01:03:31
straight just like attacked like it was
01:03:35
like a hidden attack was just like it
01:03:38
made me just lose faith in humanity
01:03:41
because I was just like
01:03:43
what this is not real this is a movie
01:03:48
yeah what are they attacking why are
01:03:51
they attacking you for because Dana
01:03:54
sometimes that happens like I've done in
01:03:56
movies where the first two reviews
01:03:57
aren't good and you go oh no this is the
01:04:00
one where they all decide oh let's all
01:04:03
jump on this one and hate it oh it was
01:04:05
it was a mother a [ __ ] feel like I'm
01:04:08
talking about racist I'm talking about
01:04:09
people jacking off on my pictures
01:04:11
sending it to me I'm talking about
01:04:13
people sending me videos talking about
01:04:14
they gonna kill me that they're gonna
01:04:16
[ __ ] hang me they got like like real
01:04:19
talk on me like like the type of [ __ ]
01:04:21
that you go what the [ __ ] is mentally
01:04:23
wrong with you
01:04:25
yeah it's Ghostbusters it was crazy
01:04:28
right right yeah
01:04:32
sorry to hear that that's because you
01:04:34
it's just that it's a goofy movie you're
01:04:36
just trying to get some laughs really
01:04:38
yeah everybody was
01:04:43
like oh wow that's even worse you're the
01:04:47
[ __ ] Ghostbusters I had
01:04:49
coming up to me going
01:04:53
I know the problem with film is that in
01:04:56
the edit or whatever they're cutting out
01:04:58
it doesn't go from funny to a little
01:05:01
less funny it goes from funny to not
01:05:05
funny no I don't know how many cooks
01:05:07
were in the kitchen
01:05:09
on Ghostbusters but that that's a
01:05:11
Surefire way to ruin a movie one guy
01:05:14
said I don't like that scene we got to
01:05:15
cut this scene and then the whole
01:05:17
souffle gets all caught up I've been in
01:05:19
it I don't even want to talk about the
01:05:21
movies I've been in I try to you know I
01:05:24
I just walk out and go I saw the dailies
01:05:26
it was funny
01:05:28
I you know I would just put a lot of
01:05:30
moving Masters on the on the four of you
01:05:32
you know like not a lot of cutting just
01:05:33
let them do their dance and not play it
01:05:36
out not beat the [ __ ] out of it or in
01:05:38
your case I guess whole whole sales
01:05:40
scenes were cut it's heartbreaking
01:05:43
that's why God gave us stand up whenever
01:05:45
you need to cleanse your palate then you
01:05:47
can be a total exactly exactly you know
01:05:51
what they were doing this is what I I
01:05:53
said I was going to put out in the
01:05:54
universe why not because Michael passed
01:05:56
on it would be great if they just re
01:05:59
remastered that movie I know they still
01:06:01
got the [ __ ] remastered and actually put
01:06:03
the [ __ ] in there that was supposed to
01:06:05
be in there that would be great to see
01:06:07
that movie why don't let's let's just
01:06:09
say for flying the wall let's let's do a
01:06:11
remastering because digital space
01:06:13
whether Ted sarandos is listening or
01:06:15
somebody whoever the studio is let's do
01:06:18
a Rema they do it all the time
01:06:20
and really have someone and go and do a
01:06:22
comprehensive edit don't just add it on
01:06:24
and see we get this new version that uh
01:06:27
you witnessed I'm uh David are you in
01:06:29
favor of that I'm in favor
01:06:32
oh my God the dancing alone what the
01:06:35
Dylan did alone so much stuff they cut
01:06:37
out that was just like so just so good
01:06:40
and the money wasted because they they
01:06:42
spend so much of those movies and then
01:06:44
they start to pull back when they come
01:06:45
out and you go no no no just go all in
01:06:48
if you've spent the money just go all in
01:06:49
across your feet literally but when they
01:06:51
get 20 more minutes added on to it if
01:06:53
the 20 more of just I just went just you
01:06:57
just why
01:06:58
and yeah well uh heart yeah
01:07:05
yeah it was a lesson that I learned I
01:07:07
learned a lot of [ __ ] when I did
01:07:09
Ghostbusters I learned how to handle
01:07:12
everything
01:07:13
yes and you learned about ghosts
01:07:17
um Leslie um
01:07:20
I have to ask her one more thing and
01:07:22
we're gonna let her go but you know Time
01:07:24
Magazine one of the most 100 influential
01:07:26
people Russell Crowe writes it right now
01:07:29
how do you even get to Russell Crowe
01:07:31
who's a big star oh you love Russell
01:07:34
Crowe I guess the question you asked is
01:07:36
how do you get to a gladiator sir yeah
01:07:39
or a mask yeah Russell Russell is a
01:07:42
brute
01:07:44
oh yeah and I said I love that guy and
01:07:46
he loves he loves it that's that's he's
01:07:48
a masculine man and again I know how to
01:07:52
play people's things you know you you
01:07:55
play on it everybody was so scared of
01:07:57
him when he came in and no one liked him
01:07:59
because he's a brute well he's got that
01:08:01
incredible voice yeah and then he said I
01:08:04
think he said to Lindsey's chicken it's
01:08:05
like oh you must be the pretty blonde
01:08:07
girl that's gonna show me around I'm
01:08:09
like wrestle
01:08:19
old school
01:08:21
I love I love me some Russ and and just
01:08:25
he he knew that that's I knew that about
01:08:27
him because every time I saw him you
01:08:29
know men like that you know like he sat
01:08:31
like doing a pitch you know how they sit
01:08:34
in the chair yeah no he got he got in
01:08:37
Higgins chair and then sat on top of it
01:08:39
so he was higher than him so you know
01:08:42
what I did right I sat right up under
01:08:44
him like I was one of his [ __ ]
01:08:45
[Laughter]
01:08:56
and he loved it
01:08:58
you you played your and everybody was so
01:09:01
mad at me but nobody could control him
01:09:03
without me like
01:09:05
I had to take his notes in I had to do
01:09:07
all his promos with him I did all that
01:09:09
yeah okay wow I
01:09:14
love this some Russell Crowe he just
01:09:16
just he just the real you know he just
01:09:18
yeah Cowboy yeah I like that old school
01:09:21
he's he's a badass yeah Master and
01:09:24
Commander by the way if he's listening
01:09:26
brilliant movie with Russ did say
01:09:31
anything you want to say it's a nice uh
01:09:33
I just want to remind people of the book
01:09:35
and
01:09:36
um yeah Leslie [ __ ] Jones is it's a
01:09:40
very very incredible Adventure that she
01:09:43
tells us this story is amazing and I
01:09:45
guess uh just where what would you where
01:09:49
are you going next I mean you're you're
01:09:50
doing a tour how are you feeling right
01:09:52
now creatively and what what can we look
01:09:54
forward to sorry it sounds like a TV
01:09:56
question but no it's so many things um I
01:09:59
got the book tour coming I'm gonna do
01:10:01
more days for my tour coming up but flag
01:10:03
means uh our flag means death will be
01:10:05
coming out
01:10:06
um I did hit monkey
01:10:08
um with uh Jason Sudeikis that's gonna
01:10:10
be oh Jason so the movie yeah okay yeah
01:10:13
so we um and and then we got a lot of
01:10:16
projects but you know a lot of things
01:10:17
are on on uh cold right now yeah right
01:10:20
yeah but we got a lot of things cooking
01:10:22
lots of things cooked great
01:10:26
has to do a movie with Brian Fuller and
01:10:28
uh the Sigourney Weaver I can never say
01:10:31
it right Sigourney Weaver all right
01:10:36
I'm gonna be playing an FBI agent
01:10:39
I like that so you're busy as hell and
01:10:42
you're you're sick you're happy and
01:10:44
we're just you're yeah uh it's it's just
01:10:46
great because your journey I I know this
01:10:48
third time I've said it is amazing
01:10:50
you're such a Survivor and what your dad
01:10:52
always told you right just become
01:10:54
undeniable you know you can win but just
01:10:57
become undeniable like you know where
01:10:59
they can't fire you they can't fire you
01:11:01
yeah
01:11:04
and it's just like in the stand-up
01:11:06
hierarchy you became the person that no
01:11:09
one wanted to follow and eventually of
01:11:11
course you're a headliner then then
01:11:13
you're at the top of that mountain but
01:11:15
because no one wanted to follow you or
01:11:17
could follow you yeah and yeah oh God
01:11:20
how I wish he was alive and see it oh he
01:11:23
would love this [ __ ] yeah
01:11:26
wow that is that's Bittersweet yeah yeah
01:11:31
you haven't did it yeah please read her
01:11:33
book if you want if you want his
01:11:35
inspiration about overcoming and
01:11:38
tenacity that's what I took away from it
01:11:41
yeah I'm like freaking out that's so
01:11:44
crazy
01:11:48
well well we don't usually recommend
01:11:50
books from heathens and Sinners and
01:11:52
people like to do nasty things with all
01:11:56
the boys but this one Leslie swear word
01:11:59
jones is a one it's a wonderful Jesus
01:12:04
loves you
01:12:05
and we all do too I had to give it to
01:12:08
you I don't do church later on the
01:12:09
podcast but
01:12:13
I
01:12:15
will do it all day for you oh my God oh
01:12:20
my God
01:12:22
Leslie we enjoyed you so much you are so
01:12:26
much so special honey and as far as the
01:12:29
book all I'm going to say is it's
01:12:30
special
01:12:36
who was it written by Satan there you go
01:12:40
that's it that's the one that's the one
01:12:44
that's the mic drop
01:12:45
ah Leslie it's been so much so much fun
01:12:49
hanging out with you on this Zoom so
01:12:51
much for having me on here I really
01:12:52
appreciate you guys you're very [ __ ]
01:12:54
sweet and kind and I appreciate I I
01:12:57
appreciate your because I respect both
01:13:00
of you so thank you so much thank you
01:13:01
we're gonna run into each other and uh
01:13:03
you're gonna hug me and pick me up off
01:13:05
the ground yeah I'm gonna pick you up
01:13:08
I've been working out I'm up to 30
01:13:10
push-ups
01:13:12
no still won't be able to pick me up
01:13:16
okay true that well well well we like to
01:13:20
pick men up don't we and squeeze them in
01:13:22
their naughty area
01:13:24
um anyway sorry I'm making Leslie giggle
01:13:27
she's out she's collapsing
01:13:29
oh my God I'm so thrilled I'm gonna I'm
01:13:33
gonna get your phone number and leave
01:13:34
you a message as the church lady yeah if
01:13:37
you leave me messages I swear to God I
01:13:39
would live by them
01:13:42
this has been a podcast presentation of
01:13:44
cadence 13. please listen then rate
01:13:46
review and follow all episodes available
01:13:49
now for free wherever you get your
01:13:51
podcast no joke folks
01:13:55
fly on the wall has been a presentation
01:13:56
of cadence 13 executive produced by Dana
01:13:59
Carvey and David Spade Chris Corcoran of
01:14:01
cadence 13 and Charlie feinen of
01:14:04
brillstein entertainment the show's lead
01:14:05
producers Greg Holtzman with production
01:14:07
and Engineering support from Serena
01:14:09
Regan and Chris Basil of cadence 13.
