00:00:00
[Applause]
00:00:05
yeah then we go to Cleveland Ohio then we're in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania two shows first show is sold out the second
00:00:12
one still needs some people out there in Pittsburgh let's go September 16th Massachusetts and we play Boston what
00:00:18
you know we are in Boston dude we're at the green monster in Boston we're at Fenway that's what shocks play then we
00:00:24
go to DC our founding fathers would love us there love it then where do we go Denver Colorado your hometown yeah no
00:00:31
I'm not from there I'm from Chicago then we're in Milwaukee Wisconsin and
00:00:36
then we're in my hometown Chicago Illinois where the creature lives that's right in Chicago Theater she's gonna come smack you and then Minneapolis
00:00:42
Minnesota are you coming yes she is I'm gonna give her a hug and we finish it off in Madison Wisconsin Minneapolis and Madison Wisconsin so go to
00:00:48
badfriendspod.com for those tickets where at bathrooms.com badfriendspod.com
00:00:54
badfriendspod.com you two are who are these two
00:01:02
years you two are disgusting well you two or something we're bad friends Never
00:01:08
Gonna Get It Never Gonna Get It Never Gonna Get It Never Gonna Get it
00:01:15
never gonna get it now we're gonna get it never gonna get it never gonna get it
00:01:22
that's Trump on the internet yeah yeah
00:01:29
like if you're gonna do a mug shot which what what mug shot would you do um mine would be like this it's gonna be in
00:01:35
my life let me see your mug shot wait
00:01:41
oh yeah that's this is my mug shot yeah ready yeah
00:01:48
have you ever you've never been arrested yes I have you have a mug shot I don't
00:01:53
have a mug shot I don't know what dictates getting it on the internet where did you get arrested it was I was
00:01:58
in college I got arrested really how does college not count what do you
00:02:05
mean it doesn't count I'm an adult I'm over 18. yeah but you're practicing to be an adult I somewhat agree with this statement that's true actually yeah you
00:02:12
haven't you know worked out the Kings by the time you're 21 22 then it's when do you work out the Kinks are your kinks worked out yeah at 45. you think all of
00:02:19
your kinks got worked out by 45 do I have a mug shot do you no you're saying people that have a mug
00:02:25
shot didn't work out the Kinks yes oh so you think we got your Kingston I'm kinked out yeah I know you're
00:02:32
already kicked out dude but when I was 19 no candy you're riddled with the Kings kinked up
00:02:38
yeah you're kinked up yeah I got arrested when I was in college twice once for uh I was looking for
00:02:44
myself sorry I was uh you have a mug shot yeah from a couple years ago well look keep finding it let's go I want to
00:02:49
find yours I got arrested for um fighting in public and then I got I got uh urinating in public
00:02:55
pissing outside of a bar and they made me go to like sex sex ed classes whoa why well because they could register you
00:03:02
as a sex offender if your genitals are out in public are you being real yeah I mean obviously I mean I mean I should
00:03:08
have had 52 000 [ __ ] months trust me yeah yeah we've been battling them away
00:03:13
from every city we go to yeah it's actually hard for us to deal with I mean no but I got urinating in public and I
00:03:18
had to go to one of those um oh you know what I had to go to dude uh a class that DUI guys have to go to oh I love those
00:03:24
ones and the stories were horrific yeah like I they were they would do they'd
00:03:30
literally be like I'm sure this is that meeting sometimes you experience this whereas guys are like yeah I was uh I
00:03:35
would get blacked out drunk first thing in the morning while I fed my kids breakfast and then drove them to school
00:03:41
in the morning yeah and I would hit stuff on the way home and then I'm like I was pissing outside of an Irish Pub
00:03:46
yeah and it's like why am I here I know a guy named he shared that he was a school bus driver oh what and he was
00:03:53
blacked out drunk blacked out drunk yeah I think it was like elementary school kids weren't they all when we were kids right but he he drove off a canyon and
00:04:03
what they all died except for him yeah so he lived yeah
00:04:08
oh he's a people what happened was I drove off
00:04:14
I'm kidding I made that up okay good yeah yeah but also I don't know why I saw you laugh I saw you back pedal it
00:04:21
because I go they drove off a cliff and he lived and you're like he lived
00:04:28
no but there was wait what do you mean there's that girl look this up that girl that just got sentenced to two
00:04:34
consecutive 15 life sentences two uh two oh the girl that goes I don't need to go to college no oh is that the same girl
00:04:40
remember she's like I gotta go to I don't know what I gotta go to class A family right no this is Mackenzie
00:04:46
shirella yeah drove 100 miles an hour into a brick wall killing her boy it was her boyfriend and his best friend she
00:04:52
lived a hundred miles an hour even though a brick wall let me guess huh she was fat that's right
00:04:58
no no be real dude look at how skinny and small no she's a tiny little girl that's her whoa
00:05:04
two life sentences she got into a fight with her boyfriend and this [ __ ] lunatic drives her car into a brick wall
00:05:10
with his best friend in it 17 she was drunk yeah hasn't worked out her Kinks she's full of Kinks she's so full of
00:05:16
Kings dude right and one of her Kings was alcoholism killing her boyfriend oh yeah yeah whoa so I guess the rumor was
00:05:22
they got into a fight yeah and uh she's like I'll take this into my own hands but how do Jesus Jesus Take the Wheel
00:05:32
yeah but how do they prove that uh because this is if he's dead it's actually interesting you say this yeah
00:05:38
well there's proof that they were in a fight via the text message that they brought up still it's like and then yeah they can prove her motive because
00:05:45
these cars all now every car now they've got these computers right onboard computers I can tell when you break how far you break how fast you were going
00:05:51
yeah you know break uh if she was drunk was
00:05:56
she drunk no I don't think she was drunk if she wasn't drunk then that's no I don't think I don't know why drunk came into my mind then well you would assume
00:06:02
she had a brick wall going 100 so she wasn't wrong no I don't think so [ __ ] she didn't break it
00:06:08
but they didn't she didn't break and she sped up the car registered she hit the [ __ ] gas and then they hit the wall
00:06:14
now when you re would did she go to Coma or did she realize she was still alive no I think she's she was fine right away
00:06:21
yeah but then I would take charge and oh and kill yourself
00:06:26
I mean you really because her intention was to kill herself as well right sit down
00:06:32
what's on your forehead Rudy Rudy just walked in and she's got a ball it's one of those no this is a pimple sticker
00:06:38
Carlos uses these two oh yes there's a new thing so Carlos is a teenage girl by the way yeah but he used one too he has
00:06:45
it's a it's a it's a sticker to put on a pimple for how long all day all day and
00:06:50
all night you can do all night all day why does it work why don't you do the star why does it look like a mole it's a
00:06:57
pool it's a piece of poo yeah oh you got the Poo design yeah
00:07:03
blend it in with your face yeah wait this is so interesting this is
00:07:09
the hip way to cover up blemishes so you're not as embarrassed yeah no they were because I use this you don't use
00:07:15
the stickers I've never used this oh they're the best no those stickers work yeah I don't get pimpales anymore well
00:07:21
then there you go I mean I had my fun it already got me here but you have one I mean where is it what's this no that's
00:07:27
it that's I've had it since I've known you it's a birthmark I thought it was a forever pimple
00:07:32
a simple yeah you think I got family yeah by the way I do have a pimple right below my right butt cheek it's been
00:07:38
there for so long yeah put a sticker on there no why I'll do it I Let It Rock okay he's got his own personality okay
00:07:44
that's conclusive what's his name
00:07:50
oh yeah I want to be congoose he's Spanish I'll let you imagine anyway he's
00:07:55
a good guy Rudy Jules is back in the house yeah what's in the tote bag what did you bring for us nothing straight
00:08:01
from school no from work work and school someone's growing up and now she came to her other job let's see
00:08:08
what's inside open it up this is my emergency bag what's in the emergency bag
00:08:14
okay what could be in there tampons yeah good okay yeah face spray yeah for what
00:08:20
do you mean just like Rosemary yeah rosemary Rosemary's nice mints yeah you need those
00:08:27
um Allegra allergies yeah yeah allergies yeah
00:08:33
Tylenol okay that's enough no hey let's finish this up perfume circus clown
00:08:42
another allergies a streamer a rabbit
00:08:49
um the two things I love the floss yeah these are the best floss picks yeah yeah
00:08:55
wait there's more oh my God pepper spray I don't have Peppers why well that's
00:09:00
good that should be all those Cosmetics still look good and nothing to sort off criminals I have a taser though okay
00:09:06
guys can we see it not here I forgot it oh that's always convenient yeah and then I have a gun but I never have it on
00:09:13
me what spray we have that at the house okay that's it that's it yeah very good
00:09:20
I don't have a bag do you have a bag I never care you so you actually used to carry fanny packs and bags I don't carry
00:09:26
anything at all yeah but that's all this stuff this is my wallet this is all I have yeah that's it I have nothing like
00:09:31
this yeah you never you can't get anything from me you're never gonna Smash and grab me there's nothing on me you do I'm gonna say something to you
00:09:38
you have a talent you have a gift with my friend what is it she's the best cleaner person
00:09:44
you finally cleaned up all the cap you can poop you're better than Mexicans and I I don't say that no
00:09:50
all of them all of them wow wow that's pretty big they're amazing I would put
00:09:55
my lady up against her any day of the week I bet you're better at like jumping fences than Mexicans too or going on to
00:10:01
them it depends on how creative you are yeah I think you're Mexican you're Ultra Mexican I I want to be
00:10:07
Mexican good she's so good and you can be anything you want to be you know what she does can I tell you what she does that's special okay
00:10:16
so you know for me [Laughter] my toothpaste the tip of it always looks
00:10:22
like you know um a volcano erupting yeah yeah I mean it's
00:10:28
just like coagulated and [ __ ] you know I mean junked out where like the
00:10:34
[ __ ] it won't even come out right right the pace yeah it's clogged she
00:10:39
unclogs it wow and you clean around it huh she cleans around it like it's a brand new little tip let me just guess
00:10:45
go ahead let me guess you're one of those guys who doesn't push from the bottom you squeeze from the middle yeah definitely 100 yeah oh
00:10:52
why it's so funny why is it funny it's just there's two kinds of people somebody squeezed in the middle and some
00:10:58
push from the bottom yeah when I jerk off I squeeze from the middle and I push from the bottom I hold my nuts and
00:11:04
that's why women go blind oh because that's why your wife has
00:11:10
infections in her eye well first of all if you go from the bottom infection one of her eyes we always fix one and you
00:11:16
get the other one I understand right but when you do when you drink out from the middle right it drops down less can
00:11:21
happen right less trouble yeah less trouble dude it's a smaller wave it's a big smaller wave yeah yeah that's
00:11:26
all it is yeah you squeeze from let's see what else is like this when you put toilet paper when you run out of toilet
00:11:32
paper you don't put it back on the on the rack you just put it on a counter on the side or something I don't put it he
00:11:37
doesn't do it I don't have toilet paper right I do this
00:11:45
but it's always oh [ __ ] and I do this
00:11:52
yeah my pants down right since cheeks you mean going to the cupboard yeah to
00:11:58
get and I won't even bring the whole thing over I'll just take it from the cupboard and you'll wipe there no you go all the way
00:12:04
back to the bathroom and then if I it wasn't enough I do the Trek Back
00:12:18
I love it what do you mean it's so good what do you mean peanut butter dude is
00:12:26
the best I enjoy it TJ Miller has a great peanut butter TJ Miller makes peanut butter
00:12:32
you don't know that no he has the best team in about in the business what is it called he has variety is dead that's TJ
00:12:39
TJ Miller the stand-up comedian has chocolate cherry peanut butter bro I won't eat any peanut butter unless it's
00:12:45
TJ Miller brand my friend are we reading an ad for this no I'm not reading an ad I don't even want to even talk about it
00:12:51
because I want it up to be a peanut butter it's the best peanut butter in the market why would it be because he
00:12:57
puts stuff in there that you wouldn't think that okay there should be toffee give me a example like Cherry dried
00:13:04
cherries in peanut butter yeah but I just want peanut butter well then you go
00:13:09
and get Jiffy okay who do you think I am or what do you get Jiffy Jiffy Jiffy
00:13:15
what's it called Jiffy Jiff Jiff Jiff choosy moms choose Jeff yeah yeah
00:13:21
by the way what a white phrase choosy moms choose yeah it's a Karen saying
00:13:26
that that is a camera yeah yeah yeah what other slogans are Karen slogans
00:13:31
um by Menin that's the only one I know uh uh slogans
00:13:38
Burger King yeah have it your way yeah that's Karen that's a karenine what's
00:13:44
Target slogan what is the slogan for Target
00:13:49
is a general expect more pay less expect more and pay less that's a little bit of
00:13:55
a currency yes yeah what else wow what's Walmart what's Walmart I feel like I don't know any of
00:14:02
these catchphrases me either save money live better do you know why because back in the 70s right rice
00:14:09
a San Francisco treat right they used to have music Yeah by men right it's a song
00:14:16
right these laser Jingles dude jingle these pieces of shits no Jingles they just write it down well this is the
00:14:23
problem this is why the jingle Union that's why you just come up with a jingle do you guys know McDonald's so
00:14:29
let's let's give Walmart a [ __ ] jingle that's right he's right McDonald's yeah
00:14:36
love [Laughter]
00:14:46
[Music] let's all okay
00:14:52
what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] are you talking about yeah that's in the Philippines
00:14:59
that means I'm loving it I love this no no no no no the phrases I'm loving it
00:15:06
I'm I'm loving it wait love what's that
00:15:19
the toes that I love the feet that's what she
00:15:24
said I love the feet
00:15:34
no the phrase is I'm loving it you're saying it's I love this
00:15:41
maybe they don't have the [ __ ] word then you don't then you make up your own song
00:15:47
same company dude doesn't matter they don't have the same menu yeah they serve back over there they have bad burgers
00:15:54
they have a bat Burger a double double a double uh what is it called a big big bat the Big Mac big bat yeah big bat get
00:16:00
yourself a big bat look at the McDonald's in the Philippines menu by the way it is different than here yeah what is it she knows we've you've told
00:16:06
me before it's all different okay let's do it in what's on it look at the size of those fries look at them they have a
00:16:12
[ __ ] like a single drumstick a drumstick with bone in it but it might not be chicken
00:16:18
is it bone yeah is there a bone in there it can there can be bone or there can be
00:16:24
no bones one piece I ordered that and I bite into it I go there's no
00:16:29
is that what you're saying they [ __ ] [ __ ] me with the bone it's a surprise wow and then what and then sometimes
00:16:36
there's a bone yeah what animal is it um it's not a chicken it's not a chicken
00:16:42
that's a huge bone yeah bats yeah it's fat bone that's a bat bones go up a
00:16:49
little bit let's see what else is what else do they have there a lot of fish a lot of fish a lot of fish and fries fish and soup fish and soup right down below
00:16:56
there's a soup one spicy McChicken mcdough and Fries what kind of fish is it let's be real what is
00:17:04
going on yeah what kind of fish is it you've never have you ever had a fish a sandwich from McDonald's no from uh
00:17:09
labcato no interesting but you know McDonald's are it's like it's expensive there right
00:17:15
is it yeah what do you mean by that it's like what's the price of a of a burger like the same price as like a house or
00:17:21
something no like for us there it's expensive like you only go there right like so we went to the Philippines so if
00:17:28
it's if you're fancy you go to McDonald's that's a rich person's restaurant Kinda Yeah wow we went to McDonald's when we were there yeah we
00:17:34
did and also chicken first I went to the Philippines I was with their family right yeah and we're
00:17:40
like driving down we park and I go yo I'm gonna go to the Starbucks and they're like no no no no we can't go in
00:17:45
there oh they're not allowed and I go why it's the Four Seasons they acted like it was like a Four Seasons no no we
00:17:52
can't afford oh Bob they were like I'll pay for everybody yeah you're like I'll
00:17:57
buy a Starbucks but they acted as if it was like for privilege only right yeah how much how much would a cup of coffee
00:18:03
be there at Starbucks I don't know um what's the what's the money again what's the money but
00:18:08
what what is the money vessel fat what it's special you have pesos what like
00:18:15
just like these guys well except you're on the Euro now huh scum couldn't couldn't hold out could you
00:18:21
[ __ ] when we went over there yeah it was like fancy fancy yeah but now when you go there now you eat it you drink it
00:18:27
how many pesos is a cup of is like a latte a latte Maybe
00:18:33
500 pesos and how much is 500 pesos to a dollar eight dollars wow that's much more
00:18:40
expensive than America yeah yeah what's a latte here I don't actually what the [ __ ] five bucks five six bucks yeah so
00:18:47
it's not that much more yeah I guess I said that but still that's a lot of money they won't even go in the building yeah I get it yeah yeah
00:18:54
but I forced them you made them all go and guess what everybody talk about cake pop Starbucks yeah
00:19:02
oh out out no homeless right yeah and I was like all right guys I'll get it for
00:19:07
you and they waited outside no they're talking to you as well it's probably so you were homeless that's a funny thing if people in
00:19:13
America with money always look homeless they have spaghetti there too how is the spaghetti it's just like Italy it's got
00:19:19
to be so good it's so good yeah yeah by the way spaghetti spaghetti is from the
00:19:24
Philippines it is yeah oh that's right it is yeah
00:19:31
have I tried Philippine spaghetti where Jollibee Jolly I've never done
00:19:37
Jollibee we've talked about it on the show I'm never going to order it yeah because look when you you end up looking like that guy yeah yeah that guy's a
00:19:43
white guy yeah he was a handsome white guy he ate a [ __ ] Jolly be [ __ ] spaghetti and look what happened yes John does now
00:19:50
yeah every it turns out everyone that's eating Filipino foods yeah that guy the
00:19:55
Filipino used to be white people tell me this isn't related to someone that you know come on this guy look at this guy
00:20:01
me yeah look at this guy he's Korean yeah he's pretty Korean he's 100 Korean
00:20:07
yeah yeah oh my God a Korean I I heard some Korean this morning at the doctor's office yeah because what do you call Mom
00:20:14
Mom yeah yeah and the woman said that to the and so I was in the doctor's office and the this one Korean woman no less
00:20:21
than 112. she I swear to God I mean I cannot believe you could see her heart
00:20:26
out of her shirt really she was so [ __ ] older yeah and frail and she's sitting down and her
00:20:31
daughter might have been 85. wow and her daughter was like she like shuffled to
00:20:36
the front yeah and she's like too much paper and the woman's like okay you have to
00:20:42
fill out all the paperwork she's like too much with the daughter did yeah and she handed it back to the woman at the front yeah as if to say [ __ ] you I won't
00:20:48
do it it was amazing I was like why can't we all be this way too much paper and she literally gave it back to her
00:20:54
yeah then goes back and she goes okay then uh miss you know whatever Mrs Lee
00:20:59
you have to take her down to the third floor she has to go get an MRI we talked
00:21:04
about this and she goes Oma and then she's doing some of your Korean
00:21:09
Jazz you know this [ __ ] guy uh
00:21:18
have some respect the guy okay okay so she she so she was Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
00:21:25
into her mom we stuck with the chitty chitty chitty chitty bang bang and she
00:21:30
goes and out of all the stuff she was like you know Korean Korean Korean and then goes MRI
00:21:37
and the mom goes no no
00:21:46
no and then she wheeled her out and I thought I bet you they went home I bet
00:21:52
you she was like [ __ ] the paperwork [ __ ] the MRI I'm gonna go home Morgan and
00:21:57
Morgan if I'm driving down the street I get a car accident guess what I'm gonna do you're gonna call Morgan and Morgan I'm gonna call him why because they're
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00:22:21
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00:22:28
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00:22:34
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00:22:40
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00:22:48
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00:23:19
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00:23:25
let's talk about it Bobby booked me a memorable travel experience through Viator for my little birthday vacation which I want to say thank you and the
00:23:31
fans should know that means a lot to me look you don't have to book an expensive extravagant thing if you're trying to hook up your friend or you can do it for
00:23:38
yourself you can just do something small they have everything from something like a nice cool hike that you can take or
00:23:43
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00:23:55
and I can't wait to take my little trip and tell you guys about it when I get back I can't wait that means so much to
00:24:01
me I really appreciate it dude and when you book a travel Experience Andrew just be mindful about this with Viator
00:24:07
there's always flexibility that's right support with free cancellation Andrew look at me yeah payment options and 24 7
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service well I hope you don't cancel because I really want to do it you too can do this if you're looking to travel and get a great experience while you're
00:24:20
out there download the Vitor app now use the code Vitor 10 for 10 off your first booking one app over 300 000 experiences
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you'll remember do more with Viator have you thought about what you'd be like at a hundred
00:24:32
dead I'll be [ __ ] dead there's no way I'm lasting past a hundred I mean 90. I'm like I can see Eastwood went to 90.
00:24:40
you have an Eastwood Vibe do you think it's why because we both hate you Koreans yeah
00:24:46
you guys hate the Asia yeah yeah but um I mean what are you gonna be like at
00:24:52
that age yeah but I see I won't be a member of society anymore we've talked about this I'm going to live in complete isolation yeah I'm not gonna be I won't
00:24:59
be living in a major metropolitan area yeah what happens if you get sick Andrew then I die by the lake yeah I go down to
00:25:06
the water and I Fall In Like A Man leave the Jimmy Carter and his wife are still alive still right now no they're not
00:25:12
they he died no Jimmy Carter he's still they're in hospice both
00:25:18
both of them are dying together he's 98 years old they're dying together though see this is no way to live but is that
00:25:24
romantic no if you die that's your wife okay here here's Jimmy Carter here's here's wonderful look at that no
00:25:30
disrespect to the Carter family here's Jimmy Carter yeah yeah he did yeah [ __ ] right no no all their hearings
00:25:36
they're hearing and then the nurse Mr Carter you [ __ ]
00:25:43
all over the bed again we have to lift you up and clean up all the poop yeah really that's what it is every day but
00:25:50
you're falling apart in front of someone you love no thanks you think she's crawling over
00:25:57
there foreign
00:26:20
I just don't want to be that old where look the love oh my God look at the wife the commitment what does she look like
00:26:26
this is like that's her now I know but what does she look like before probably stunning yeah what's her name Judy
00:26:32
Carter what's her name it's not weird we don't know her name yeah what's her name
00:26:39
Rosalind Roslyn yeah look zoom in a young Roslyn Carter yeah yeah still old why does he look old that
00:26:46
was the 1940s well give me the one that they got married you can see their yeah look at that beautiful let's Zoom that in oh yeah that's the Roslyn right that's
00:26:53
the reason how handsome he was dude a little bit I gotta tell you what I mean like a sniper Yeah well yeah those teeth
00:26:59
are sniping something Chomper Whoppers yeah yeah she was pretty though she was pretty yeah yeah but look my point is
00:27:05
dying next to someone you love like this little titties huh no no
00:27:16
he looks like Celia Murphy yeah with a you think he looks like Cillian Murphy
00:27:23
oh cause she's got a big crush on him oh yeah look at him he's one of your faves isn't he so we've moved on past uh no
00:27:29
I'm still in love with Harry Styles oh my god did you want to go to Taylor Swift's concert while they were here you
00:27:35
did but why didn't you go it's too expensive look at this you have old money bags over here
00:27:41
Scrooge McDuck he wouldn't give you wouldn't give it her money for the tickets if she said Tito Bobby I really want to go see Taylor Swift you wouldn't
00:27:46
give it to her I could have when's your birthday November she's gone man yeah the shows are gone yeah
00:27:53
unless you want to go see him see her somewhere else no I'm fine oh a big fan I see she leaves no I don't need to see
00:28:01
her yeah but you know I know of somebody that went to the show in Washington Nikki Glaser went to like four or five yeah and but this this person
00:28:08
is it an average person doesn't have Nikki Glazier funds right right so she
00:28:13
afforded it yeah so she had to take this girl that I know had to take a bus you
00:28:20
park and there's a bus filled with screaming eight-year-old girls yeah
00:28:25
jam-packed in a box yeah you and then you can't even go into the [ __ ] thing for a couple hours that's like Carlos's
00:28:31
dream yeah dude I'm not into eight-year-old girls
00:28:37
that's insane oh nine it's nine anyway I don't know so then she then she waited
00:28:42
four hours after that because she had to wait for the boss to pick everyone up but the line was so long it was cold
00:28:48
that it was shaking and I'm like is it worth it I mean
00:28:53
I think it is hi it's me oh I'm the problem yeah it'll be worth it it'd be
00:29:00
worth it I think it's worth it you know what it is when you're young do you remember going to a concert when you were Depeche Mode and it was [ __ ]
00:29:05
amazing yeah yeah that's what I mean it was worth it when you're young it's so it's worth every second that's why when
00:29:10
you get older and you go somewhere you're like I'm gonna do this as conveniently as possible you're like I'm gonna make it easy for
00:29:17
me to do this what is this behind using footage no speaking of concerts Carlos Santana had an anti-trans rant
00:29:24
yeah I can't wait God Made You and Me before we came out of the womb
00:29:40
sounds good when do you know anything right because the woman is a woman and a
00:29:46
menace of men by the way how funny dude how funny is this ready he's like I don't like trans
00:29:54
people and it's just like the ocean under the moon yeah yeah
00:30:00
wow oh my God oh my God what is he doing what is it why did well I'll tell you
00:30:06
I'll tell you wait what but yes sir I'll tell you why why does he care to talk about it in the middle of a concert what
00:30:13
a weird thing to bring up in the middle of a show transgender people should stay in the closet he says oh oh
00:30:21
wow that's accepting yeah that's nice and warm but look at his audience
00:30:26
probably old Latinos yeah I mean there's I mean there's not who it is there's not like a 22 year old girl there with blue hair
00:30:33
yeah man I don't know if that's true Carlos Santana transcended a lot of generations I would argue have you been
00:30:41
to it Carlos Santina what I didn't say me but I said he does transcend Generations I bet you don't
00:30:46
know anybody that went oh dude I went to the Carlos Santana show let me thank you no no nobody I know but
00:30:54
he did but he has been no one I've never met so who does go I don't know that's why people who is Carlos Santana no she
00:31:01
doesn't know that she doesn't see that's what I'm saying yeah but he is a phenomenal guitarist I mean imagine her at the concert going what the [ __ ] is he
00:31:06
good enough of a guitarist to be publicly against trans people and we still support him no no it's insane it's
00:31:13
insane Carlos Santana wow I I imagine it's old white guys
00:31:18
is it old white guys like these guys is this kind of like the Jimmy Buffett click yeah you know what I mean like is
00:31:23
it Margaritaville type of cats did you look up Carlos Santana's audience yeah fan base fan base we'll go to their fan
00:31:29
page they gotta have it so here's the deal Carlos is struggling with something of his own
00:31:36
what do you mean why else would he bring it up so adamant he's going through something isn't
00:31:43
interesting nobody would bring that up out of nowhere if they themselves weren't going through something like he's literally on stage vocalizing no a
00:31:49
man is a man you born a man yeah I mean seriously it's like when it's like when
00:31:55
someone's like [ __ ] hate the gays and then they go to like a gay like the one a politicians like gay people don't
00:32:00
deserve to be married yeah and they catch them at a [ __ ] gay night club what's he going through huh from Team
00:32:07
Santana Carlos Santana Salvador Santana and Jose Santana release new song
00:32:15
there's Rhonda she met uh Carlos and we met Carlos Santana Cruz out of Galveston Texas he sat with my family for a while
00:32:21
just hung out my husband is disabled and can't walk well that's why he hung out so Carla's such a beautiful soul my husband is now in ICU in Gainesville
00:32:28
that's so sad meaning Santana was a highlight of his life that's very nice I mean no that's very sweet yeah unless
00:32:33
the whole time he met with his husband he was just like what's up with these trans people died
00:32:39
[Music] yeah there was nowhere oh Carlos Santana Oh look I see a brand new PS5 my son
00:32:46
played it before he had covered he passed away three weeks ago see this is what's [ __ ] up this guy's selling fake PS5 saying his
00:32:53
son had coveted and died this this scam that you ran on Twitter still running are you
00:33:00
making yeah I think back you know how many people have literally hit us up and been like why
00:33:06
did Bobby run a PS5 scam on Twitter
00:33:11
well how do you get a Twitter account back we got to call Elon yeah and you know what he wrote right there after he
00:33:17
said the trans rant Nobody's Perfect nobody's perfect that's such a good that's such a good laugh anyway you
00:33:24
don't even know who that is no I don't yes what kind of music do you think it is
00:33:29
um rock yeah yeah it's rock yeah it's rocking yeah yeah Latin Rock
00:33:35
it's rock the songs are probably the most popular popular songs I think the popular song has no vocals to it right
00:33:42
[Music] keep going oh I know that yeah
00:33:51
they play that at the Disco [Music]
00:34:02
do it again wait
00:34:15
wait try to do that like the bass baby because I'm more of a bass guy I need
00:34:20
more of a bass guy anymore I'm all about that bass yeah he doesn't play the bass I'm doing the guitar
00:34:26
give us the [ __ ] song give us a yeah
00:34:42
and honestly yeah that was much better than the first time yeah how did you even pick up on that I don't I don't
00:34:48
know fancy is just really good so when you're at the Disco which I don't know what disco you would go yeah what disco you're going to yeah the Philippines
00:34:55
okay angry what's it called what's it called I don't know disco you go to a
00:35:01
place and you don't know what it's called yeah because because it changes names every week no and every town
00:35:07
there's like a festival every week not every week
00:35:12
every month okay and then there's like uh in like the basketball court
00:35:20
they by the way yeah how low is that hoop [Laughter]
00:35:26
feet yeah you guys just know what you can get it up there yeah so at the
00:35:31
basket at the basketball court you guys do disco yeah wow look at them so it that's you when
00:35:38
you're a little kid uh-huh and who dances there all ages all ages that's inappropriate they should have some
00:35:44
separation do I you know can I just say something like this kid is part look at that guy's like on coke in the background but this
00:35:51
white guy's on coke stumbled into this party but when I do my talent show there though yeah you've been to how many two
00:35:58
two yeah yeah the whole place fills up mm-hmm oh yeah it's they got nothing to
00:36:03
do also I bet you there was AC in there no it was outside oh really it's literally
00:36:09
outside yeah they have fans no it's I'm sweating you're dripping I might get a
00:36:15
dry song because you sweat when it's cold in here I know I'm sweating now I know yeah yeah it's sweaty it's a sweaty does anybody have air conditioning out
00:36:22
there only the rich people Super Rich have you ever been in a house in the Philippines with air conditioning yeah
00:36:27
her mom's house so your mom is super rich and so you can't get McDonald's or
00:36:32
Starbucks like when she grew up as a kid right
00:36:38
yeah she had there was no running water the showers were like with a bucket yeah right I still like a bucket shower yeah
00:36:44
I do them sometimes in my back you would have to heat up the [ __ ] water we don't even heat it heat it up shower 95
00:36:51
all year round out there right just leave it outside you do that yeah there's like leaks like our house was so small that we had
00:36:58
to just sleep in one bedroom and there's like Mouse cockroaches everything and
00:37:05
then the bathroom was so what's so funny it's Carlos difference between the
00:37:11
Cockroaches and the mouse I mean I can't believe there's both of them I just I'm feeling for Rudy right
00:37:16
these are a war let me ask you something there's no one I want to know about the cockroaches in the mouth there is there's no is there like it's been a
00:37:22
long stance hey what are you doing here
00:37:27
do me yeah so okay what what you want to team up
00:37:34
you want to team up let's attack this little brown girl yeah yeah let's go
00:37:48
let's go and there's like I don't know the English word but it's train train oh
00:37:55
there's a choo-choo train no wait what it's like
00:38:02
an insect it's an insect let's pull the old train train
00:38:11
oh who's that
00:38:29
we have these in the United States so what does a train train do there choo choo they just like
00:38:38
autistic kids love these yeah yeah what does a train train do nothing but they burn you if you they touch your skin
00:38:45
right does a train train burn you does it burn you does a train train insect
00:38:50
burn I've tried it you tried to like there's like red marks on your skin but
00:38:56
then don't do it yeah millipede see it's a millipede there's a toxin that's in Millipedes oh I see we have these millipede toxins can cause blisters and
00:39:03
burns wash your skin right away if you don't think a millipede has emitted any liquid onto your skin wolf this can help
00:39:08
prevent a possible allergic reaction you might develop do people use millipede toxins for good
00:39:15
because I'd be curious to know whoa dude what do you work for Putin I mean none of your business
00:39:22
why don't you see what happens yeah wow millipede toxin is it better can you eat
00:39:28
it food see you eating millipedes as food so let me ask you something you have the train trains cockroaches and mouse mice mice
00:39:36
right what else um spiders of course yeah lizards
00:39:42
um I like lizards yeah salamanders yeah you have salamanders yeah yeah monitor lizard the one that I ate oh yeah the
00:39:49
monitor I do like monitor yeah yeah cool looking does anybody have to keep any of these as pets
00:39:55
spiders we like play with it interesting interesting yeah so you just
00:40:00
will get a spider you get a spider you put it on a Matchbox so like have like a house you put a
00:40:07
spider inside of a matchbox yeah as their house and then you play fights with other people who have spiders and
00:40:13
like they battle in like a stick what do you mean you throw away like this yeah they're like cockfight oh my God
00:40:20
this is insane did you guys bet yeah I bet so so you put your spider on a stick
00:40:25
on a stick on the on your side yeah another side and high five how do you know that they'll fight what if they
00:40:30
just go to each other well sometimes they don't fight you know why they fight because you've trapped them in a [ __ ]
00:40:36
box forever and they're they don't know why yeah you put them in a match box but we feed them feed them what do you feel
00:40:42
what do you feed them train trains no look at this look at this there it is oh my God we have UFC
00:40:50
yeah
00:40:57
it's like saying so this is a cool this is the thing that that's a lot of kids do yeah
00:41:02
yeah and yeah and if he tries to web away they just grab his web and yeah put it back they put it back oh wow okay
00:41:09
until something dies or so there's death or someone else or someone gets hungry what's that what's
00:41:14
that that's a matchbox that's where you put it that's a that's a that's a Macbook
00:41:20
that's a oh so you you you better be yeah you can't even bring it in school
00:41:26
what you can bring it in school so that you can play with the other students wake up man how have I not gone to the
00:41:32
Philippines I know right look at that that's amazing insane I want to go I want to see this I
00:41:39
want to see the war though that looks like a [ __ ] spider that'll bite yeah yeah so no is there kids that die from
00:41:46
spider bites not that I heard of Oz yeah because they don't tell anybody they want to keep this game going
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factormeals.com bad friends50 to get 50 off imagine one of those spiders biting a
00:43:24
Filipino kid that bit Spider-Man there's not a lot of buildings there so he's uh he's like webbing toward like trees yeah
00:43:30
and he's just kind of just right Spiderman Spiderman Philippines do not
00:43:36
have a lot of spiders the ones they do have are mainly harmless even so the Philippines is home to a few dangerous species such as the red back and the
00:43:41
Black Widow but is there a deadly insector that you guys are afraid of like no do you have Lyme disease there
00:43:47
or no like ticks they've got to have ticks there's ticks but there's no such thing as lime disease that's a white
00:43:53
people thing that's us is it real Lyme disease yeah it's real for whites but
00:44:00
you know what are you playing about anything oh yeah yeah my back I don't think it's the line disease I think it's
00:44:05
a real thing yeah Dengue fever have you had that I've had that what is it I won't think if you for so bad so it's
00:44:11
mosquitoes bite you and then you what do you use [ __ ] and vomit for like days and days and days yeah but you lose so much
00:44:17
weight you look great afterwards should we get some dead guy in here I want Dengue Fever it's so bad why is Bill Gates working on another covet let's get
00:44:23
a Dengue going over here yeah yeah how about this rabies how common is rabies
00:44:28
over there are you getting bit by dogs malaria is a classic yeah that's old school yeah and hepatitis has been there
00:44:34
done that yeah but I do think rabies is wild in the Philippines Department of Health uh
00:44:40
epidemiology Bureau uh uh 55 human rabies cases and deaths what
00:44:47
so far this year yeah that's so many people 55 people are dying from rabies I
00:44:52
don't know dude there's a lot of people there dude how many Americans how many people die from rabies in the United States yeah
00:44:57
public health problem it's a big deal how about in America why are you laughing Carlos dude Carlos this isn't
00:45:05
funny dude did you go you didn't go with us to the Philippines right Andreas that was fun right
00:45:10
I feel like Carlos would die in the Philippines there's got to be glory holes there
00:45:16
can you get Dengue from a Gloria I feel like I do well over there in what way I
00:45:22
feel like people just like me in other countries I just smile and kind of just smoke a cigarette or something I know
00:45:27
but you notice it no okay what you know about oh God I mean what there's like
00:45:34
some sexual sexual [ __ ] that he's gonna get involved in oh yeah like it's not even it's not far from like Bangkok all
00:45:41
that stuff no they have it there oh they do yeah yeah what they have like ladyboys and stuff yeah but that's in Thailand mostly right no they haven't
00:45:47
there's a lot of ladyboys there's so many lady boys there were you friends with any ladyboys growing up yeah I had
00:45:53
a lot anybody in your family was a [ __ ] no Carlos Santana would have hated that
00:45:58
huh dude what if your cousins had a Bobby Lee shirt on oh hot dog shirt oh yeah Paul yeah Paul
00:46:04
dude I was I go to this village where his cousin lives and I swear to God he
00:46:10
has a my face on it when I played bass on right going oh oh hot dog but he's
00:46:16
out there like doing grout work with it yeah you're his work shirt yeah but it was insane I was like what how I don't
00:46:22
know I've always had that yeah well you know they'd be flying stuff for them yeah anything at the Goodwill we
00:46:27
dropping boxes I was flattered actually well he didn't buy it oh what those are that's that that you know we give them
00:46:33
just boxes of [ __ ] yeah what you know what it is you know like no he went to a special like thrift store no you know
00:46:39
when they make two different they make shirts for in a championship for sports they make one for each team in case the other one wins yeah and then and the
00:46:45
other ones go to the Philippines that's mixed in with a box of Mad TV stuff oh okay a couple of Mixology posters yeah
00:46:51
all the old all the old bangers that we used to do yeah how many how many rabies deaths are there a year in the United
00:46:57
States I gotta know I was just pulling up though oh yeah like loser shirts overseas look at this yeah okay okay you
00:47:03
know what though yeah those to me are more valuable than the winner yeah anybody can get their hands on a [ __ ] winning shirt but it's harder to they
00:47:11
they send them to Africa and stuff rabies death in humans in U.S
00:47:17
80s 89 there were more here oh no no that's over the course of 1960 to 2018.
00:47:22
those are due to exposure to bats right yeah only 89 through the last 40 dude
00:47:28
yeah I can't believe I haven't talked about this yeah there is a [ __ ] raccoon that's got some [ __ ] balls
00:47:34
this right I'm I'm in my house uh-huh dude he's sitting on my fence the other night yeah I go outside huh
00:47:42
staring at me yeah go go but why get out of here come here come here you can have
00:47:48
them you want me to bring them to your house but here's the thing because he goes through the trash he knocks it over and they spill yeah I don't want my
00:47:55
trash on the ground I know but if you say come here come here you could be friends
00:48:01
No New Friends as Drake said No New Friends what I'm saying to you dude you think I want a [ __ ] as a friend that's
00:48:07
what I'm saying you think I want some [ __ ] in my house yeah it is my friend it has that Vibe dude first of all my dog
00:48:14
is full black the raccoon is a [ __ ] mix the raccoon is Barack Obama I know
00:48:19
but the raccoon is Barack Obama which I like yeah but my dog because you don't you don't Know full black okay I can't
00:48:27
say a joke right there you can't I don't want to oh my God I'm literally setting you up for a joke
00:48:34
and for fans at home we're getting censored by by uh fancy yeah yeah we're trying to give you a good black joke
00:48:39
there I gave it to him right there all right so you I'll give you the joke I'll
00:48:44
give you the joke okay are you telling me that that your dog is full black yes
00:48:51
and the raccoon is half black half black half white half black half white yeah
00:48:56
that's what you're telling I like the full black one much more whoa no what
00:49:01
I'm saying is yeah what you're saying is instead of pushing shushuing away the raccoon invite him in what I'm saying is
00:49:07
have you the dodo bird right on right people have raccoons as pets and they're the cutest little critters in the world
00:49:13
baby what is a dodo bird what does that have to do with it it's a it's a website no no dodo the rescue dodo rescue oh oh
00:49:23
yeah yeah yeah not dodo bird raccoons that's usually like in it's usually
00:49:30
illegal and it's like in foreign countries like in Asia or something no it's only legal in 16 states to own pet
00:49:36
raccoons so 16 of the 50 states said yes yes it's California one of them no [ __ ] way no way no [ __ ] way in
00:49:44
this state you can they let the gays get married here they're gonna not let you have a raccoon oh I see the logic no look at
00:49:51
this Texas Florida Tennessee Nebraska Arkansas South Dakota Illinois my home Oklahoma Wisconsin Wyoming Vermont New
00:49:58
Jersey those are the only ones the surprise well I'm actually quite surprised about uh Vermont Vermont
00:50:06
you think that was a Bernie thing yeah that was Bernie loves raccoons we're gonna have raccoons so just kill it then no yes yes shoot in
00:50:14
the head with a shot thank you no you know what those little brains out I really do love I do love
00:50:20
they're so cute but they're vicious little [ __ ] animals but I want you to pull up a clip
00:50:26
this isn't this is It's Gonna Make You Cry are you ready to get emotional today I love it woman saves raccoon on side of
00:50:33
road oh here we go this made me cry on tick tock
00:50:38
hold on scroll down scroll down hold on let me see if I can see her that one right there second video second video
00:50:44
second video you ready to cry yeah go ahead play it full screen and let me cry let's get some tunes okay well because
00:50:52
the music is gonna make you cry I'm getting horny yeah me too well yeah she [ __ ] it at the beginning oh yeah and
00:50:57
then when she's done then she saves them ah she's trying to save it but it doesn't
00:51:04
know it thinks it's going to hurt her final leather jacket used it because he was trying to bite her he didn't he
00:51:10
thinks he thinks she's trying to hurt him because he already got hit by yeah I know dude and he's dying
00:51:18
okay why can't you do that with your raccoon
00:51:23
that's it that gets me man did you read the last line no she said
00:51:29
the the I like the white part of him not the black part that's what she said I'm
00:51:35
protecting the white part I was thinking that no it says I'm just trying to give him some comfort as he passes oh he died
00:51:43
yeah dude but look what it says just trying to give him some comfort as he passes and
00:51:49
isn't this what we all want in this world a little bit of comfort as we pass no
00:51:54
I want to be alone you want to die alone yeah because if he was stayed on the road well you were the
00:51:59
one should be [ __ ] Carter you like laying in the room with his [ __ ] dying wife I'm I'm saying people want comfort as
00:52:07
they pass but if he was on the road a truck would have killed him right away no he's in pain right now dude she's
00:52:12
giving him comfort as he passes you know how much pain isn't right now I can't wait to be there when you die
00:52:19
don't I'm going to tell you something when you're dying yeah I'm gonna get you naked every day I'm gonna scrub every inch of your body I'm going to dry what
00:52:25
is a dry brush I'm gonna dry brush every part of your body when you die I'm gonna comb your little hair I'm gonna wax your
00:52:31
little mustache Carlos what's up I'm gonna teach you blinking language okay Morse code okay because I'm not gonna be
00:52:39
able to feel my arm from my legs and be able to talk okay we're gonna learn this okay wait a minute when you're dying
00:52:44
yeah oh you think he'll last this guy's dead in a decade 10 years Max no I'm
00:52:50
just saying maybe in five years I get you're gonna be it's gonna take you 40 more years to die we'll live longer then he can't why his behavior his lifestyle
00:52:57
you know Andreas wants to live for a long time he's moving back to Spain right she won't be around either
00:53:04
no see I'll do blinking language right cyanide oh no yeah yeah wait a minute if
00:53:12
you get to okay so listen if you get to a hundred and you're dying you don't want to be assisted
00:53:18
you want to just die on your own because I'm doing that I told you I'm jumping in the lake but you you love
00:53:24
attention you love people you love family you know what I've thought about doing what is vlogging it
00:53:30
vlogging your death are you gonna monetize it yeah who's gonna get the money somebody that I like someone you
00:53:36
care about yeah but I would I would do like a you know what we don't see enough people like people dying on the internet
00:53:42
yeah no but people like I feel like we do no but people just go like oh this is what I'm feeling
00:53:48
oh yeah this you know I mean you mean vlogging they're deaf
00:53:54
you're not gonna be able to talk how would you you'd want to Vlog your death yeah I'd be like okay so I thought I was
00:54:00
gonna die a second ago right because it might you know I mean my pancreas you know what I mean it feels like it's on
00:54:06
fire and then you know my eyeballs started jittering there it goes good
00:54:11
it's jittering oh I'm still alive Mr Lee it's time for your bath
00:54:17
oh this [ __ ] again Mr Lee it's time for your bath okay where do you want me to
00:54:22
scrub today where would you like it you know okay flip over
00:54:29
my [ __ ] looking little butthole scrub for Mr Lee no not that again that's what
00:54:35
I'm gonna do it please and I'm gonna use my special brush the one that doesn't have any bristles
00:54:44
uh what is this fancy so Spain Ward won the World Cup this right female World
00:54:50
Cup and then time time my time out you can't you can't jump over that Spain won
00:54:56
the female World Cup yeah so here in America you have to that's important okay you can't just go Spain one day
00:55:01
World Cup the World Cup the female World Cup and then go on all right yeah
00:55:06
um the men's World Cup isn't playing now I
00:55:13
know that's what I'm saying though for the listeners I I just I already automatically assumed there was a female World Club I don't know but for the
00:55:19
listeners he's totally rumbly bumbly he's drunk again and he's all right he's adding in stuff like yeah anyway but won
00:55:26
the female World Cup they won it and the president of the Spanish Federation uh kissed one of the players yeah
00:55:33
on the cheek no on the mouth that looks like cheek oh that that's
00:55:39
probably just the cheek photo the lip photo they probably don't post any yes you know like the whole press and on
00:55:46
fire she said that she didn't like it oh she said she didn't like it and is it traditional the kiss on the mouth in
00:55:52
Spain no well there is that's Dalai Lama Vibes yes yeah
00:55:58
I gotta tell you this guy let me see let me see solo photos of him let me see if I'd let him kiss so what do you guys
00:56:03
think yeah and that's the girl wait a minute
00:56:09
so he kisses this one he kissed a bunch of other girls did he kiss anybody else on the lips or just her yes her oh well
00:56:14
she was the captain oh she was the captain Oh you gotta kiss the captain you kissed the camera how about this not
00:56:21
grab the head just kiss no no head I mean look the way he's grabbing the head both heads on the thing she has nowhere to move right what
00:56:28
did she say what's her statement she said I didn't like that and then everybody asked for him to step down and
00:56:35
even the president of Spain the you know the whole press even worldwide is he's the president of the Spanish women's
00:56:41
team yeah the Spanish Federation Spanish Federation yeah and so the president of
00:56:46
the men and women's the president of Spain said you gotta go yes he goes in the president Spain you know what he
00:56:52
really said he's like you know I like this Behavior yeah this is what we do yeah don't grab the head next if you
00:56:58
just kiss kiss kiss okay not because it was eternal look at this the rule is always not on camera now this is the
00:57:04
prime minister of Spain yeah this guy kiss on them kiss me on the [ __ ] mouth right wow so Rudy if this guy
00:57:11
kissed you after a soccer game are you letting him do it yeah right double standard this is my point yeah this is my point Mr Handsome they call him yo he
00:57:18
[ __ ] is and look at our guy go back to that with Mr death yeah man look at there's a picture of uh Mr
00:57:25
Handsome and uh uh [ __ ] Weekend at Bernie's yeah she's
00:57:38
look at how young and handsome that guy is Roberto yeah he's good looking he's not gonna
00:57:45
win he can't win though no he can't win we're talking about viable options of people that could win go let me get more pictures of this guy
00:57:51
what's his name Pedro Sanchez Pedro Sanchez how old was he when he got into office
00:57:57
um 50 50 years old yeah yeah his daughter no that's the princess of Spain she's
00:58:04
the princess of Spain Carlos is bookmarking the princess so he can look
00:58:09
her up again perv by the way she's not that's the military huh she's going to the military they have to they have to
00:58:16
yeah they don't have a choice wow I'm definitely joining the Spanish military that's the Spanish military are those
00:58:22
[ __ ] military issued pants look at those things I thought that was the Hollywood gay pipe right so it looks the same that
00:58:29
basically is the Spanish military yeah yeah you know those you know those straps are foreign yeah
00:58:36
[Laughter]
00:58:44
yeah wow they're so handsome yeah do you know why they have their chin up you don't get anything in their eyes
00:58:50
wow clever by the way their shirts are [ __ ] open with suspenders on yeah I
00:58:57
mean that's what a military guy looked no no wonder there's no way is that really the military it is it really is
00:59:03
no it's not yes it is no it's not there's no way wow wow so that's like our Navy
00:59:11
yeah no stop that is insane that's not them there's no way yes it is it's a
00:59:17
Spanish military but fire force Spanish Legion it's called The Legion yeah
00:59:25
does the Philippines have a military yeah look look at Filipinos
00:59:33
I think they probably got some leftover stuff from us yeah yeah I wouldn't [ __ ] with those guys
00:59:39
those guys know they're insane they're insane they'll throw a box of spiders at you
00:59:45
they'll get you good yeah what's Cisco what's going on here with the face it's Lady Gaga
00:59:52
[Laughter] no you wouldn't [ __ ] with the Filipino military they'd [ __ ] you up yeah Spanish
00:59:58
military though I'll take those guys on any day that's nuts ah
01:00:03
who's that that's the Philippine leader president president right now yeah see those are
01:00:09
proper suits that's what the military should wear buttoned all the way up yeah you guys got your [ __ ] chest hair showing
01:00:15
did you guys have to do like um Cadet like military yeah yeah we all do yeah
01:00:21
we have to do it when you're 12 when you're 12 to 15 you do Cadet do you know that here yeah oh yeah I have to go to
01:00:27
boot camp and we have to especially if your dad catches you smoking weed in the garage
01:00:32
then you definitely have to go to boot camp so I did it when I was 12 we went I went to Montana I had to do the mud
01:00:37
crawl you were mud crawling well you didn't have my oh yeah because that was before you yeah your years before for 20
01:00:43
miles we had to crawl in a field of just mud mud yeah yeah and you just
01:00:50
you're you know I mean it's in your face it's on your Forum it's your forms in your knees yeah and even if you get up
01:00:55
like that they kick your head back down push you right back in right and go you young man back then they'd be like John
01:01:03
yeah you can't breathe and you're 12 years
01:01:08
old you're a young kid yeah and then you don't sleep for five days
01:01:14
put you in a cave and I had to go I had to go it was it it was like uh it was like a camp almost it was on a
01:01:21
lake and uh every night we would go into our little cabins
01:01:27
and we had to we had to play hide and go seek and the counselors uh would come
01:01:33
after you and if they found you they got you and yeah what and if they get you they got you they
01:01:39
got you yeah how well
01:01:47
if they get you they got because when I did it right the mud crawl we didn't have the hiding OC they
01:01:54
just got you thank God like what do you mean by gotcha well they would say it
01:01:59
gotcha gotcha right and you're like I've been here like I didn't even get to hide
01:02:05
gotcha
01:02:10
and then your pants are removed right it's a phrase you don't understand in the same way that uh you know
01:02:18
or whatever yeah yeah gotcha is our thing is our thing once they get you they got you right it's an
01:02:25
American phrase pull the pants down and they butt [ __ ] you no what is wrong with you it's a Cadet
01:02:32
military exactly yes to give you a little tiny
01:02:38
little Spanky titles gotcha gotcha they spank you thank you
01:02:45
but it's dead but they don't [ __ ] you that's gross yeah it doesn't go in the bottom no they smack you with it though
01:02:51
right sometimes it hits you know the the rim of the butthole the rim well actually often oddly enough yeah and
01:02:58
they go oops oops it would go in oopsie whoopsie right what is going on what is that
01:03:06
Bobby I sent you this I know you I don't watch your videos dude because they're [ __ ] like they're [ __ ] I watch the
01:03:11
ones used is this claiming that Michael Jackson is still alive yes this is one of these conspiracy theories yeah wow
01:03:18
what do we think yeah yeah do you think you think he went you think he removed all of his surgery
01:03:24
that's the is that what this is saying it could be him that looks nothing like him
01:03:33
that looks nothing like him
01:03:39
even a little bit that's being claimed to me does he claim to be Michael Jackson does he sound like him
01:03:45
let me hear him let me hear what he sounds like I was not in the hospital time I was I was in interim back and
01:03:52
forth from I will tell you this yeah that person is not Michael Jackson
01:03:59
uh but they probably have the same Vibe thing going on yeah yeah yeah yeah did
01:04:06
the same thing going on he went in everland ranch right and he never left exactly yeah you get what I'm saying
01:04:13
like if you put a thigh out of a little boy home gotcha he would buy
01:04:20
it he'd bite it yeah no nibblers in fact in that interview they should have brought up
01:04:25
leg meet some boy little boy like a mannequin leg Yeah and you see his teeth
01:04:31
chattering yeah yeah he's drooling you know he's into it yeah right and then bite right he Moon walks
01:04:38
out of there with a boy's leg in his mouth yeah Rudy tell us tell me what's been going on in your little life
01:04:44
um how's your boyfriend good he built me a PC did he really yeah and then I had to
01:04:50
hide it because at the koala hates games she called me a complained why she hates
01:04:57
video games because I wanted to go outside and I wonder now she's doing this [ __ ] yeah did my headphones
01:05:02
work or no they're really good cool really good wait a minute though he built you a PC for playing what game uh
01:05:09
stardew Valley Hogwarts valorant A lot of games a lot of games
01:05:14
yeah I'm obsessed with starting a valley right now really you start a farm yeah you wanna do co-op
01:05:21
yeah look at this bonding do you want to co-op farm with me yeah but I think might get mad at us who cares and it's
01:05:29
so funny because we I could work on the farm when you're not around so when you go back on you're like oh Bobby like did
01:05:35
this so yeah you'll just do her farm for her yeah no we do it together that's fine yeah yeah yeah on your farm what do
01:05:41
you have so far I have the greenhouse already you do have the greenhouse yeah
01:05:46
you're doing the bundles bundles yeah you're doing the bundles I I have so much I have
01:05:52
um yeah I have the bar and I have the coop what do you have in the barn
01:05:58
cows sheeps pigs your pigs already yeah you're getting truffles truffles already
01:06:04
you're far along then yeah that's pretty far are you being real I am wow yeah that's amazing yeah thank
01:06:11
you for being a bad friend anybody yet I can marry someone yeah you could oh so what are you a girl
01:06:18
or boy girl okay so do you know Elliot who's that
01:06:24
the guy that lives I think downstairs in the beach yeah yeah yeah yeah Sebastian
01:06:32
I don't know he lives with maroon Robin's his mom oh okay he's the emo guy
01:06:39
with the black hair yeah that guy look at the Riverland and never came out what
01:06:44
who went to Neverland and never got out we going I have a question oh please okay so when
01:06:53
I'm cleaning Tita Bobby's house always stop stop no no you let her talk
01:06:58
oh but why no let her talk don't let him get it watch no watch go ahead you're
01:07:04
saying no I know [ __ ] him I'm just confused as to what it is because in your bathroom Okay stop stop you stop go
01:07:11
ahead rude there's like near the bathtub there's like a jelly jelly thing that
01:07:18
looks like a jellyfish yeah and it's like really squishy and I thought it was like a you know like Duck Duck toys yeah
01:07:26
a duck toy yeah her bathtub I thought it was like toys I love Duck toys so I tried touching it and it's like like
01:07:34
sticky and Squishy yeah so I had to ask Matas my grandma because she cleanse
01:07:41
his house too yeah and she said oh it's his sex story it is his sex toy yeah but
01:07:48
why are there so many yeah you know one would ask why there are so many there's
01:07:54
one in the kitchen one in the pantry okay no no where are the rest are there they're all over the place all over yeah
01:08:01
like a dozen there's got to be a dozen Baker's Dozen no half a dozen half a
01:08:07
dozen and it's like it's like a robot thing like suction there's like different kinds right
01:08:15
and he leaves them for you to claim oh
01:08:20
interesting Tito but I thought first it was like the duck toy it is a duck toy
01:08:27
robotic tech toy in Japan yeah because when you use it he goes quack quack quack
01:08:33
okay and um you know stuff you find around the house shut your [ __ ] mouth you know
01:08:39
did you sign an NDA no well okay okay what about the maggots
01:08:45
what about the maggots what about the maggots
01:08:51
what do you think not one more word about the magnets well what about the matter they're my friends you have the raccoon I have the maggots that is true
01:08:58
no why do you have a record last week I'll go get going and then the next week there there's maggots already how did
01:09:05
they what what's going on over there I grow them have you heard of a science yeah right
01:09:11
and I want to explore I want to know how they work and how they behave and I'm I'm jotting down their behavioral
01:09:16
maggots don't just show up out of the blue maggots are currently in your house that means a fly first found its way into your home through an entry point
01:09:22
decided to lay eggs flies tend to flock to rotting material spoiled food old garbage or sex toys and
01:09:30
they use that as their breeding ground interesting the maggots were in the cat food yeah
01:09:36
nah yeah you know yeah in the sex toy it says it could come from anywhere okay
01:09:42
it's in the [ __ ] was it not in the cat food was there maggots on any of the sex toys
01:09:49
oh my God is there just in the cafe just in the cabinet but guess what in the
01:09:55
cabinet in the cat food where is the cat food the aisle thing in the kitchen oh but
01:10:02
you said there was a sex toy in the kitchen as well yeah interesting how far away was the sex toy to the [ __ ] not
01:10:08
far no okay far yeah but that's still um your honor your honor that's still
01:10:15
you're a proof but I don't get why you have a sex story in your kid your kitchen why do you have something in the
01:10:21
pantry can I tell you why and I'll tell you why we're waiting I'll
01:10:26
tell you why yeah the reason why my friend is none of your business but I'll tell you right is I energize them in
01:10:33
different areas of my house interesting okay they're all chargeable oh right so
01:10:40
all my plugs in my bedroom where I have my phones and my gadgets and stuff like that that makes sense my bathroom has
01:10:46
two plugged in sex toys yeah that I'm energizing and there's a third one because I'll tell you what happens tap
01:10:52
please I'll tell you what happens they run out of energy do they vibrate and they swirl around right sometimes
01:11:00
I'm like you got to plug it in and I'm like oh
01:11:05
[ __ ] so I grabbed another one um and I go to the kitchen so you're
01:11:11
walking around with your dick hard out around your house just grabbing sex toys I'm not walking I'm running you're
01:11:16
running because I'm wet it's in the bathtub I do it in the bathtub yeah you're always wet yeah yeah so you stay
01:11:22
in the bathtub and you get out you go grab a toy bring it in go grab another one and you do this repeatedly I don't know why we're even talking about why
01:11:27
don't you have any outlets in your bathroom keeping them all in the bathroom plug them all in there because I have like electric I like your
01:11:33
toothbrush I don't know what we're talking about this right now we got to develop an electric toothbrush that's also a sex toy okay can I just say this
01:11:39
right I already talked I already admitted that I use them and I don't think it's wrong to use them it's not that women have vibrators and they use
01:11:45
them yeah and I'm using my sex toys there's nothing wrong with that does really have to clean them no he does she
01:11:51
doesn't and I asked you to do I've never asked you to do it but first the first time I clean I didn't know what it was
01:11:57
that's yours it's awkward I agree it is your fault
01:12:03
mine yeah you gotta know what it is you gotta know what it is but it looks like a jellyfish of course that's why it
01:12:09
sells so well that's one of the best on the market yeah what do you mean we all want to [ __ ] a jellyfish you've never seen those things in the wild I can't
01:12:15
wait to put my [ __ ] in one of those things do you use gloves yeah okay yeah okay you're fine yeah yeah but when you
01:12:22
look at the opening you think that that's what a jellyfish's mouth looks like I don't don't
01:12:28
oh it doesn't look like that oh yeah that's what jellyfish sound like yeah if
01:12:33
you pick them up out of the ocean they go oh you know what I'm gonna do now you don't want to do I'm gonna hide them from you okay oh and then you gotta find
01:12:39
them now you get paid per toy you find 10 bucks a toy you find them you get but
01:12:45
you are missing out on sex toys yeah no I've used uh I've used uh not but not pocket Wheels not no
01:12:51
but not the vibrating you know what I mean well buy me one for my birthday really yeah I'd love one I will buy you
01:12:57
one buy me the top of the line one and I'll use it okay but I'll have to keep it here at the studio you're gonna use it every time you do
01:13:02
whiskey Ginger or something yeah I haven't done that podcast in years I just go jerk off in that room okay yeah
01:13:08
yeah I'm so down will you do that you buy me a nice I'll buy you one nice one yeah yeah well let me say this Rudy it's
01:13:13
nice to have you back it's awful that you try to call out Tito for having a very healthy normal sex toy uh uh sex
01:13:20
toys at his house I'm on your team and I want to say thank you for the pillow and thank you for being a bad
01:13:26
friend
01:13:31
oh
01:13:36
foreign [Music]
