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hey bad friends friends friends hey bad friends we are on tour tour baby where are we going we're going to milwauke
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Milwaukee Wisconsin yeah baby beer and cheese with the beer and chees jeffre oh
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he's there will he be coming to the show no but there those types of whites all right then the next night we're in Chicago then we go to Minneapolis John
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Wayne Casey yes yes Chicago all your favorite cereal kapolis Minnesota
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Killer's from there and then uh probably mcon he'll be M from there and then Madison Wisconsin is how we the year and
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then in the new year we've got a big run we go January 20th we we're Atlantic City New Jersey by B come on Gamble at
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Lake City Utah January 27th boy boy then Tula do you know where Tula is yeah man it's right by Powe where I grew up and
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that's where you're going to meet my Dan the myet Dani your sponsoring Tula so come on out to Pachanga on February 2nd
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then we do Reno Nevada Sacramento Long Beach Long Beach wood Canada we do
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Windsor Ontario and Niagara Falls back to back uh and Canada then we do Tucson
00:01:02
where do we finish on 420 Las Vegas Nevada April 20th 2024 come see us live
00:01:07
come see us get your tickets go to badri pod.com badf friends pod.com you two are bad friends who are
00:01:13
these two idiots white dude and an Asian dude you two are
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disgusting you two are something we're bad friends hello hello and what do we
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have here we have you know dude can I just say something about that let me ask you a million subscribers y right this
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is incredible thank you so much YouTube for occasionally Banning us and demonetizing us is that really from
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YouTube yeah we got a million sub no we got an award from the YouTube yeah we passed a million Subs that's amazing I
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didn't know we could you get awards for that let's go back to this now let's go back to that okay so number one um what
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do you when you get water right what's the most annoying thing when you have water what's the most annoying thing
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when I get water when you drink water when I drink water yeah that you have to keep drinking it otherwise you die nope
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no what is it Nanos this is nanopure you're telling me there's no Nanos in there's no Nanos in this sounds like
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we're doing a plug for this stuff no so we talked about this on the other episode can I say another thing please
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right when every time I've drinken water I went there's something wrong with this
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you know what it's structured differently ah than it should be ah
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restructured you're telling me this is fully restructured yeah yeah here's another thing right yeah what do you
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love about water what it what what it has keeps me alive no no there's elements in it I'll tell you what oh
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hydrogen and oxygen when it's oxygen in it right but it already has oxygen in it but this company what no not enough
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oxygen hypa they need more oxygen hyper it out Dad okay well let's take a let's take a second well here's I'm but I'm
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going to say this uhhuh you're already close-minded no I'm how am you're close-minded and you're making fun of it
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already juice am I closed-minded um if I said no would you be open to that
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possibility yes then I think you're pretty openminded right on good so would you like some um aora please I I would
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like I'm going to drink my own water you drink yours and I you know what my good oldfashioned Elvis Elvis loved Mountain
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Valley that's why I like and I'll drink my oora because yours has full of Nanos you're telling me this has tons of Nanos
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yeah yeah Nanobots in your body dude okay oh it's a real classic and you're being restructured now let me taste oh
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yeah wow let me taste
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delicious how is it I'm restructured whoa do you feel
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better did you see how did you just see that I didn't do that holy [ __ ] I didn't do that dude the water just did Jesse do
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you want to try oh no I think this is what I deserve I'll just stick with the plastic that's true yeah you know what
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I'll stick with my water okay so you think this is better you really do think this is better well look at how much is yours the Mountain Valley a couple bucks
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yeah a couple bucks $30 dude that's a $30 bottle of yeah so it's disgusting it's not but how does it taste does it
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taste better dude I I hate water usually really yeah I want to keep drinking this dude wow yeah yeah it's the best if only
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they could flavor it like Diet Coke then it'd be really good water you know can I say something what and I I don't want to
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offend Christians but here I'm going to go ahead all right yeah Jesus
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come that's how good it is that's how good that is dude if Jesus had come dude that's what it would be Bingo you know
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how Jesus I'd spent $100 on you know how Jesus walked on water you know how Jesus walked on water yes do you think this is
00:04:40
the water he walked on this is it oh yeah this is Jesus water and the other dude that split it apart Moses that's
00:04:46
that water part of the sea well I'd like you to see a video real fast uh let's show the boys show everyone a little
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video here for in studio while you sip away okay did you notice any difference between that water no it is the same I
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mean [Applause]
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get that oh my God it did I did taste weird oh my god did just did I just
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drink tap water dude you did that to the king wait did I just drink tap water Dude where's my where's my I I swear to
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God I you know where it is it's in my mouth water it's right here is it in
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there how is that be honest it tastes exactly like water that it does it
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tastes the same as Mountain Val give me my water no way keep me my look at that okay can I say this dud can you believe
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look what the boys did they poured you that bathroom tap water dude let me say
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something right now let me say something right now if I get cancer because of this it's your [ __ ] fault look look
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at how meticulous you put the sticker back on no don't do that we live here you
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dude that's insane that's insane dude take this away dude that's so you know what you like tricks you like tricks
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we're not going to play tricks okay all right and I'm going to trick you one day and it's going to be worse than that
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I'll tell you that right now give me your cup I'll pour some some of your delicious it's okay I don't even trust that anymore what do you mean this is the $30 one they put it in here give
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some of that like we said in in the last episode this is like the God it's so funny the Philippine licking uh woman
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yeah it's all in your mind that's right it's all in your mind see it's all in your mind so good it's all in your mind
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so let me say something that was a good one that was really good and I'll tell you I tell you this man it's what a time
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to trick me because I had a terrible night last night what happened are you trickable right now I'm so trickable
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dude why wow well last night what was last night what do you mean what was last night last night was just another
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it was Halloween yeah yeah oh it was was it not it was it was last night was this
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is Halloween this tricks a lot of tricks dude did you hand out any candy no I turned off all the lights M the front
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porch oh I like it so I pretend no one's there like a recluse like a recluse right and I just look to see if there's
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any lights you know some they have candles you know the kids you know what I mean they safety lights yeah none
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around so I go you know what I'm going to sleep early tonight 440 pieces of candy I handed out yesterday 440 that's
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great yeah and I I dressed up like Ken no the first year I think I lived in the neighborhood was the most I dressed up
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like Ken we played music we had a fog machine uh we had a little dance party on the driveway I had music bumping and
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one of the dads came up to me at the end of the night and said hey thanks a lot for doing this really that's all that I
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wanted oh God yeah because I think it's important for the kid man I I don't live in a neighborhood that does that say I'm
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not saying you you live in the Hollywood Hills you guys don't Hill they don't do it in the Hills the hills they have eyes
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they have deep they're deep steep Steeps yeah by the way that's where kids go to get kidnapped up in the holid hills you're flat land I'm in the flats kiddo
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with the Mexicans yes that's exactly oh [ __ ] I shouldn't say that my point is is this I would love to hand out candy but
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they just never around well they they all come to my hood so last night I go you know it's home I'm going to sleep early right I go to bed but I forget
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guess what I forget to masturbate no oh that's true oh my God how did you call that
00:08:15
that that is true that is true yeah he just knows no I told him earlier I forgot what you forget to do last night
00:08:21
eat dinner oh no so you had to wake up in the middle of the night and eat something no not the middle of the night
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4 in the morning that's the middle of the night I go I go to at 9 p.m. yes
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that's impossible I try you went to bed at 9900 p.m. yeah I was that tired no
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[ __ ] way were you sick no you know I'm going to go to bed a nine like a
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Christian hey cross off because I don't do the Hollywood thing I'm more I'm Christian on Halloween did you say a prayer before you go to sleep I do dear
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God let's hear your little prayer dear God Amen he feels in the middle you got
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to let him do it I let him fill the middle dud blank check right it's a blank check well you know Jesus Take the Wheel Jesus take over this prayer yeah
00:08:59
finish it for me what what Jesus I should have filled it in because what he gave me was a stomach ache all right but go to in the morning
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I wake up what first you know goar yeah gonner goar you know who goar is your
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dog no I have a cat named the orange cat gonner yeah at around 4 in the morning
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if I don't put earplugs in I hear you know so bad at sounds that
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could be anything he could taking [ __ ] dude I'm the next [ __ ] police academy War I'm Michael Winslow dude they hired
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me dude let me hear you do a garbage [Music] truck okay pretty good give me another
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one give me another one uh let me hear you do something I this
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one what's that you when you come yes yeah how about how about
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this you drinking toilet water D you lift up a lid and drinking toilet
00:10:02
watering yes yes I get it thank you so I'm good you're very good anyway I hear
00:10:07
right it's gonner trying to get in my room Cat Scratch Fever yeah yeah which I wake up and I go oh goar's trying to get
00:10:14
in and also I'm hungry as why don't you just leave the door open for I can't why cuz I have Zoomies because they run
00:10:21
around the room yeah cats at night that's their time yeah so they just zoom
00:10:26
zoom all over the bed and stuff right what's the matter just like another case to not have cats it's just like all the
00:10:32
things they poop inside they Zoom you in the middle of the night they scratch your door they don't want to be pet you can't take them on a walk they're no fun
00:10:38
to play with go ahead anyway so um I wake up and I go oh [ __ ] I'm hungry not going to be able to go back to bed so I
00:10:45
had one thing in the fridge and guess what it was kimchi I have that already that's a given I feel like what is it ju
00:10:53
tur I it tur turds turds you have packed turds again there's two words
00:10:59
tur and tur chips turkey chick turkey chicken no turkey chicken almost turkey
00:11:06
sausage turkey turkey chips oh potato chips made turkey turkey cheese chili
00:11:11
turkey chili chili man we were way off turkey chili turkey chili and I had
00:11:18
one of those from aan yeah well another $50 bottle $50 of but it's been there forever right but how long you think it
00:11:25
could be a year a whole year it could be I don't know some bad chil dude I don't
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know you're crazy man I'm crazy so I put in a bowl I microwave it right and then
00:11:36
I eat it all I I'm hungry still and I remember the other night I got a big
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gigantic pint of Dryer's Rocky Road ice cream Briar or dryers b or d big
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difference Briar it you choose I don't know I think Briar I had myself some
00:11:53
jennies before I came here delicious the best yeah but I'm lactose anyway I eat
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half of it you think you're lactose intolerant or is it just because you eat stuff like a yearold turkey
00:12:04
chil that you have a bad stomach I don't know dude and then I go I feel fine so I
00:12:10
go you know what I'm not sleepy yet so I'll play maybe two hours of of of this game Starfield okay right
00:12:17
but I lock the so I lock them out but that's cool because when I play Starfield I have my headphones so I can't hear Gunner scratching right and
00:12:25
you're in the house alone I'm So Alone dude that's a big house to be all I'm so L and then it
00:12:31
started the [ __ ] the aches the shits first ache the shits are here the shits
00:12:36
are here coming out of your mouth and your ear [ __ ] are here the [ __ ] out of your live in fear but I didn't go to the
00:12:43
bathroom I didn't go to the bathroom I went to bed uh oh and that's when the trouble started no you're good you're
00:12:51
good at sound effects too yeah always have been yeah yeah yeah since you've met me yeah you started drinking more
00:12:56
toilet water yes yeah Bing you know that sounds like a blue whale's breast in the
00:13:02
in the water have you ever seen a blue whale there we go that's what it feels like sounds like to me am I dead
00:13:10
on so anyway a blue whale strip club but I could I
00:13:16
was what let me get the bed out no I was thinking that'd be a great scrip the blue whale just any whale
00:13:23
whale stripping just a big just a big but how big the blue whale's big so the strip club's got to be
00:13:31
they moan yeah yeah and do they like you know what they like they don't like money
00:13:38
whales they like fish no I whenever I go to a whale strip club you got to bring
00:13:44
plenty of Plankton Plankton Plankton they you got to dry it out though because it's hard to throw on stage when they're wet but anyway my point
00:13:51
is my point is I did I only s for like an hour and then I had to get up early to go to my a meeting and then I I did a
00:13:57
podcast with logic and I was in traffic cuz he was all the way in Pacific Palisades and I canceled my spot and I
00:14:03
got here and I'm so tired and I asked you if you have the energy to do this I got it today good so I'm so glad that
00:14:09
you have it I got to tell you one of the weirdest costumes I saw last night and I didn't I didn't get a photo of it because I felt like it would be weird to
00:14:14
take a picture of somebody's kid but we saw a lot of good ones I saw a lot of good ones at the door that came to my
00:14:20
house okay and the funniest one by far and it was mostly Mexican families that
00:14:26
come to the hood yeah it was a girl I'm not I'm not making this up I swear to God here we go something racist she was
00:14:33
a washing machine I swear to God of my life I was losing my [ __ ] yes I was
00:14:39
dying and on top of her they built a box like a they used carbo box to make a washing machine and on top of it was
00:14:45
like Woolite and bounce sheets wow I swear to God I swear to God in the middle moved it was one of the coolest
00:14:52
costumes I think I've ever seen but also it's like would you just take it from work or something well you write what you know you live Who You Are
00:14:59
did she have a dryer with her no her sister her sister was um her sister was
00:15:05
uh uh a fence and her dad kept leaping over her head back and forth and back
00:15:11
and that's insane no but really the washing machine is not fake that was actually a real costume and it was like the best one of the night so I gave her
00:15:17
way more candy you know what I don't do if you come up with a [ __ ] costume yeah like especially when like a 14-year-old
00:15:23
comes you know when the older ones come you're getting one get the [ __ ] out of here get the [ __ ] out of here you get one you put any effort into it yeah and
00:15:30
you're too old when the kids come little kids they're getting handfuls I literally go like this to the kids
00:15:36
because they're so cute and sweet but when a grown kid comes they don't even say anything just put the bag out [ __ ] you know what I gave them what
00:15:43
Whoppers whoa the worst you know little Whopper I know what a Whopper is D the worst candy that's a and I thought it
00:15:49
was a hamburger yeah I gave him hamburgers I handed him a full hamburger okay but Whoppers were for the
00:15:56
teenagers that didn't dress up yeah but the the kids you know what the kids got what they got the Reese's Snickers combo
00:16:02
oh you know what I'm talking about no dude they make the peanut butter it to me Reese's makes peanut butter Snickers
00:16:08
combo now okay so let me can I let me ask a question then please yeah don't even Google it don't Google it cuz I
00:16:14
want to imagine it in my mind okay so it's a round circle it's a egg oval like
00:16:20
an egg what yeah it's oval oval oval oh it's an oval like an egg shaped like an egg then it's not thick like an egg but
00:16:27
it's almost like flat a flat a flat egg yeah and so um when I bite into it instead of having a a peanut
00:16:34
buttery um nugget no no friend you do get a peanut buttery nugget but you also
00:16:39
get caramel and get and C [ __ ] dud uhhuh so the good so the good kids the cool
00:16:45
kids that dressed up they're definitely getting one of those plus a Kit Kat and they're also getting there little tiny
00:16:51
uh little tiny red vines they got all the goods but if you were a teenager and you didn't dress up yeah you get a
00:16:56
Whopper get out of here it's so easy you can you know like I sometimes on Halloween I do like two for one when I
00:17:02
dress up I could be one or the other right yeah so sometimes I'm a ghost sometimes I'm a KKK member I get it you
00:17:08
know what I mean I can flipflop the two a ghost and a KKK member could be just a sperm you kind of look like a sperm well
00:17:15
that's true that's be all the above you can be three things yeah yeah yeah but we handed out a lot of candy it was good to see I just I loved it I really do
00:17:21
love it when the but the guy that said Thank you really meant a lot to me because we work hard to make it enjoyable for the kids cuz we've got a
00:17:27
lot of screw McDuck on the neighborhood there's no ways as good as other anyway there's no way as
00:17:33
what there's no ways as good as what I mean you just claim to think that you have the best Halloween house there ours
00:17:39
was one of the best for sure with no there's no way there's first of all there is music there is fog there's
00:17:45
graveyard bones all over the place there's witches that are hanging around dude I I we go to the cuz I was at your
00:17:50
house weeks ago and it wasn't there was nothing there like that yeah weeks ago we weren't prepared okay okay I don't want to I don't want to challenge you I
00:17:57
just you don't do anything anything so who are you to talk you turn the lights out I'm just saying that you could just
00:18:03
say you have all these things but I just there's when I was there there was no proof of it you weren't there on hallow
00:18:08
you weren't there on Halloween like all getting ready to get that going there's no fog machine you weren't there this
00:18:14
guy there's a fog machine on the night look what I did you know what I mean it's like nothing as far as I'm concerned you weren't there and what did
00:18:21
you do nothing yeah but I admit it I don't go hey you guys I had a [ __ ] hunted house I had [ __ ] a gargoyle
00:18:27
and all that stuff if you if you did you would you [ __ ] I put it together so yeah that's what I did not the best in
00:18:32
the neighborhood I'm sorry you're just angry because you don't have the [ __ ] guts to do it to go out on an emotional limb I don't have kids that come to my
00:18:38
[ __ ] house live in the hills and that's exactly who you are Steve Kell
00:18:43
next Liv next to rich guy I look at Steve C they don't have nothing like that all he had in his house was old
00:18:49
chili turkey chili he'd be scooping it into kid bag it's a blessing yeah dude
00:18:56
you want old Air1 turkey chili dude I started the documentary about Mr Chow I don't know if you know his story May one
00:19:02
of maybe one of the saddest stories I've ever heard in my life he still alive what do you mean I just saw him his story is insanely sad I'm telling oh let
00:19:08
me say guess go ahead he was Chinese correct he's Chinese came here yeah oh I
00:19:13
have no money I'm make MH and became famous not even close okay tell
00:19:19
me his I'm spoiler alert for the Mr documentary on HBO but it's pretty
00:19:25
incredible this guy got chipped away to boarding school when he was a kid his dad was like famous a famous theater actor stage actor pretty rare for the
00:19:31
Times um cha young fat cha young son oh cha young skin
00:19:37
KN whoa yeah his his brother brother big fan of his movies and then they and then his sister wanted to be an actor and it
00:19:42
was so just as rare for the time especially for Chinese people because you know the roles you talk about it in your standup act you know racist
00:19:49
Hollywood every role was like oh I do the rry you know like that was every role he ever got yeah and so when he
00:19:55
moved to London um and was started to get in film was in popular films as he grew he
00:20:02
hadn't seen his mother forever couldn't see his mom because his mom was back in China and anybody at the time that went
00:20:07
against the Chinese government I thought you going to say because his eyes were so slandy well that's true and anybody back at the against the Chinese
00:20:13
government was blacklisted and killed so both of his parents really his parents were murdered yeah you know who else was
00:20:19
murdered Brandon Lee yeah Bruce Lee's son yeah well that was on accident no it was on accident no
00:20:27
way I did you think that a tied to rust and that whole thing no you think that was a reprise of of Brandon Lee rust
00:20:34
Simon Chow you know who is MHM he was a producer of um Bruce Lee movies back in
00:20:39
the day and there's a there's a conspiracy theory that he had his that he had Brandon Le kill H and the
00:20:47
sister's been in hiding because maybe she's next anyway let's move on child's parents were
00:20:52
murdered yeah uh amazing oh man I'm sorry so sad then his then his wife
00:20:58
because of the shock of the murder of his parents him and his wife start to disconnect yeah and she goes steps out
00:21:04
in the marriage and when she comes back she's dying of AIDS insane don't be
00:21:11
lit like that's 100% the truth his wife died a [ __ ] AIDS yeah after she
00:21:16
stepped out on the marriage because he was disappearing because he couldn't he couldn't deal with the loss of his parents yeah so then he
00:21:22
moved uh and started to really do the restaurant here in LA but because it started in wow I want to watch it's dude
00:21:28
it's an in because I ran into him one time at the store and I I I'm not lying
00:21:34
I I knew who he was he was he was in the mit's bucket seat I don't know how he got there but in the bucket seat probably because he's Mr Chow yeah Mr
00:21:40
Chow I get he grabs me and he goes let me talk to you kicks me outside he goes come to my wedding I go when tomorrow
00:21:47
wow I go tomorrow I don't [ __ ] know you you got to go to his wedding I never went should have gone and I have a photo on my Instagram if you don't One
00:21:53
Believes Me That was that night of Mr Chow yeah anyway um Mr have you been there no I've never been there but I've
00:21:59
seen that picture of you with them yeah yeah yeah what's your favorite Chinese dish it's I do top three kungpow chicken
00:22:06
uh orange chicken and I I know it's like whatever but fried rice yeah it's great fried rice I know you were going to give
00:22:12
me [ __ ] about that but I love you want to say fried rice peeking duck no no peing duck what did you want her to say
00:22:19
there's a beef and broccoli Mongolian beef you I mean there's um what aren't these all the white ones anyway is
00:22:25
aren't these because of us no when you go to China they have they eat that no this is all white people [ __ ] my
00:22:30
favorite is cuz it's got a little bit of your people in it guess what it
00:22:36
is oh uh play from
00:22:42
cherl I set you that was good what is it Mushu pork that's it yeah Mushu pork why
00:22:47
why why why cuz it's kind of like a taco a burrito yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly do you like it of
00:22:56
course and that's the only time I like plum sauce is in Mushu Park I don't like
00:23:01
it in any other area well now that we're stuck on some Asian stuff tell me about everything I want to I want to play you
00:23:08
something and I want you to close your eyes for a second oh is it Asian music I love it it is Asian music okay go ahead I'll tell you what it is and it's
00:23:15
amazing Morgan and Morgan I'm in a car accident what I do
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today at vroom.com that's vroom.com [Music]
00:25:51
turns to gray another hair changes shade to rainy clouds out proud of what you
00:25:59
did allow me to fly anag from
00:26:06
[Music] Nest I know it is my brother yeah who's
00:26:14
it about my mom it's a good song it's a great song he goes he's probably going to cry it was great I saw you almost cry
00:26:21
a little bit yeah and also um great song that's off uh Stevie Wee's new album he sent it to me today yeah and pretty
00:26:27
beautiful relationship I have with a Lee family that his he would send it to me and not you to promote on the show can
00:26:34
you show this to Bobby on bad friends he can't text you but he'll text me but his
00:26:40
new album is available now really good and it's on what it's on uh it's it's on
00:26:45
Spotify no what's it called band camp band camp it's on band camp and the link will be in the description for for all
00:26:50
the fans please support our Lee uh family it's actually some there's some bangers on there what's that trap called
00:26:56
again it's for his mom it's called it's Kim CH which is a soup so
00:27:01
your mama soup basically oh that's awesome that's so awesome I remember talking to him like almost a year ago
00:27:07
and he wanted to make more music and get back into it and so now that to see his whole album's out it's really cool there's Stevie wee Lee that's Bobby's
00:27:13
Brothers new music new album out go uh check it out on band camp very good
00:27:20
isn't that nice can you connect with your brother a little bit through music huh you don't talk do you talk to him about this stuff ever well you know him
00:27:26
and I um you know we're both musically inclined my brother um took a different direction
00:27:32
musically and um what do you mean like he more of hip-hop F yeah more hip-hop Vibe because you know I didn't grew up
00:27:38
with he for some reason in his class had hung out with a lot of black dudes but
00:27:43
my class we didn't have any well they weren't accepted by you and your no we had one guy I forgot his name but I think it was Steve havy or something not
00:27:49
Harvey not Steve Harvey Steve har I got to tell you that guy doing well I forgot his name I forgot this guy's name show
00:27:55
me powerway but he's he's stole I remember he stole my He-Man kind of to
00:28:01
be a black guy stealing something story why you could have no I know that's my thing I me S story you remember from him
00:28:07
yeah he stole my He-Man multiple you had multiple He-Man well I had Skeletor He-Man all the other characters well
00:28:14
you're probably a little Rich Little Brad I would have stole from you too and he he wouldn't give him back I'm like come on Steve Harvey I forgot his name
00:28:19
you have a little mustache back down yeah yeah yeah but my point is and then my brother had you know a crew and they
00:28:25
listen to hip-hop and the only influence I had was my cousin Paul would tell me about The Velvet Underground other bands
00:28:32
you know what I mean and so that's my influence but I wish I had more of a hip-hop Vibe but you know I don't oh
00:28:38
it's okay and I apologize have you checked in on your mom since we've done the therapy sessions by the way we text
00:28:43
every night so I haven't called her physically now is she still going yeah is she happy with it um I haven't gotten
00:28:49
the details but she still likes it she said that's great I don't want to dive into it because I don't want to get
00:28:54
involved it's not the results aren't up to me no I understand I'm just saying but it's good to know if she's happy
00:29:00
going if she goes and she likes it God bless God bless but you know the results
00:29:06
aren't up to me and so um just like your just like your addiction you have to let it's not up to you right and my career
00:29:13
it's it's not up to you it isn't up to me you just try your best and see what unfolds and guess what guys it's
00:29:19
unfolded very good my life very well at 52 years old um to just see you know
00:29:26
Monday night I I went to dinner with a bunch of Korean actors and stuff yeah they were on fire you what physically
00:29:34
yeah and I was like putting water on them like that's a weird dinner prot what protesting they were protesting oh
00:29:39
wow yeah well yeah just like in the Vietnam War those monks yeah they we're dinner and they just lit themselves on
00:29:44
fire I'm like cool dinner party yeah I yeah and there was no point of it I'm like what do what's the cause like we
00:29:49
don't know you're like I'll get the check yeah these guys arting fire I go just get in the heat but my point is is
00:29:55
that um so I was with some at dinner with um a bunch of young Asians in the
00:30:01
business yeah and they're all like talking about their deals you know and all the great things that are happening
00:30:07
in their lives and you know and I for once in my life
00:30:13
went I hope you guys die no no but once in my life I was
00:30:19
like God I'm just so proud do they have a of this group they don't have that
00:30:24
they don't have a gold plaque from YouTube no they have um oscar but my point is no they don't have nobody there has an I know they don't but my but they
00:30:31
um you know they're doing their own thing and I'm like you know I'm just kind of watch because you know when I
00:30:36
started there was no opportunity it was so [ __ ] hard here we go but you know
00:30:42
with them and it was so easy for me that was the difference I think it was a cakewalk for everybody else I'm not
00:30:47
doing that right now dude no don't roll your [ __ ] eyes you know who used to do that Mr Ferguson used to do that my
00:30:54
[ __ ] biology teacher every time he would ask me a question in in [ __ ] high school and I
00:31:00
didn't know I never knew that he would roll his eyes you you asked a question and he no he would always cuz I always was always doing something stupid well I
00:31:07
don't know but he'd be just like you Mr Lee you know I mean what is the you know right that mineral sign whatever it is
00:31:14
the mineral sign or for a I could see why he rolled his
00:31:20
eyes right I'd be like I don't know man give me the metrics he's like what are you talking
00:31:26
about metrics it's not math I go you know but the square yeah you know what I mean he's like it's a pie the pie the
00:31:33
pie Square yeah and he's like no anyway he roll his eyes and I used to go like you piece of [ __ ] dude look at him out
00:31:40
where is he is he dead I don't know shout out to Ferguson when I get out of here I want to find you dog I'm G to gou
00:31:46
those eyes out with a [ __ ] Skillet that guy yeah I like this guy I know Skillet a skillet is not bad yeah
00:31:52
skillet for cooking how hard it would to cut someone's eyes out with a Skillet I know
00:31:57
but it'd be painful real for both of them P yeah yeah but yeah so don't roll
00:32:03
your eyes at me that's my thing don't do it I'll roll my eyes at you all yeah
00:32:09
watch watch Halloween decoration a couple of
00:32:18
cobwebs how does it feel man feel M I think your insecurity
00:32:23
bleeds through Whopper yeah it's sad Whoppers it's so sad your little house anyway I was so
00:32:28
grateful your turkey chili the fat sad budha on the
00:32:36
stairs yeah yeah yeah dude okay yeah all right [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] dude
00:32:41
[ __ ] [ __ ] ass love you though man good so fun so fun on the road you know so fun it has been really we've had some
00:32:48
really fun times on the road um what was the last place we play we play Denver great great and then we we got Chicago
00:32:54
Milwaukee and Madison and Minneapolis dun great when we're done we're going to the coldest places in the cold in the worst time yeah although you know you're
00:33:01
going to meet um Dan Dan Rather from CBS News yeah how do you know him he's we
00:33:08
follow each other on Etsy dude you're like Theo Von today no
00:33:14
I'm not you're like taking things from somewhere else that don't belong together no we no we both create things on Etsy we trade oh you follow each
00:33:20
other on Etsy yeah what do you make on Etsy mittens you're a mitten guy yeah Bobby M Baboo so no fingers
00:33:27
they're so stiff though yeah to pick and so not warm yeah and don't wear them
00:33:33
around pandas but uh what does he make Dan Rather on on Etsy oh he makes these um
00:33:39
so you know how he loves to talk on the mic yeah he makes it out of um you know
00:33:45
um linen good you got it yeah yeah linen swabs he makes linen microphones yeah
00:33:51
and you know this the the tips of the Q-tip do I yeah cotton
00:33:57
that's not really cotton is it not no what's on the tip of a Q-tip Q oh it's just a bunch of Q yeah
00:34:05
what do you think the tip dude the tip of it's a q so that's a bunch of Q woven
00:34:11
up yeah man oh wow you don't know the difference between q and cotton did what is it well I don't know and that's why
00:34:18
it's like mysterious it's like Q like in Star Trek next Generation there was a character named q and he was like sort
00:34:25
of like this character that he was s like God he came in and out but no one could really describe what he was that's
00:34:31
a Q-tip so that's what the Q-tip so the qtip is named after the Q from Q is a mystery you know first of all isn't that
00:34:37
a mystery letter Q yeah why there's not a lot of words with q in it no he's
00:34:43
saying why is a mystery letter I'm saying why is a mystery letter that's a another there's two of them how many
00:34:48
words start with the letter Q question Quil Queen qu Quagmire queef 975 words
00:34:58
start with the letter Q that's not good quadruple now now how many words start with b oh less wow that can't be right
00:35:07
how many we're start with b what does how does it say it's pretty interesting in the English yeah yeah 890 less words
00:35:14
start with b than Q we learned something that's no way dude pretty impressive what there probably isn't a lot of words
00:35:19
that start with what I think that starts with well how many yeah what do you think what what letter has the mo what
00:35:25
like let me see if we can get I can't even think of 20 words I start with b 20 words yeah no you know it B yeah I'd
00:35:32
have to think though let's do it right now ready you go one I go one you go one oh and whoever stops yeah okay go
00:35:38
buffoon bombastic burrito bouquet below beef bark busy busy yeah a busy that's a
00:35:48
new that's a new term that's in the dictionary now okay yeah it's a it's a male [ __ ] yeah really you don't know
00:35:53
about this we can do Urban stuff why couldn't we we have an urb an audience don't go ahead uh balls booya black
00:36:02
bounce baruda Barracuda is good isn't Barracuda one yeah Barracuda is good a fish right
00:36:08
it is a fish yeah uh Beacon bamboozle Banshee uh bowry bent black I said black
00:36:18
you did bruise block bruise block then blah what are we going this way now go
00:36:24
blah what blah blah blah b l a blood oh
00:36:29
BL blood blot blah what are you saying forget it blah forget it forget this game man it would have G forever we did
00:36:36
it we did do it we did it we did more that was at least 898 now let's see if we can do Q cuz Q technically has more I
00:36:42
can't do it let's do it go I know three go Queen you already said it Quail Quagmire question Quint
00:36:50
Q-tip
00:36:55
qualify I don't know I got qu quandry I have no
00:37:01
idea quantify quantify quality question oh quaint
00:37:08
quaint quick uh
00:37:17
quack quell oh quit
00:37:24
oh oh wow out yeah so we know a guy who met somebody on a set yeah and way above
00:37:33
you know I mean his pay grade she's the most famous person I think we PE though anyone knows yeah she's so and you know
00:37:40
you know this is when he was single yeah it was long long time long time ago and she would live by the up up on the Hills
00:37:47
well multiple houses but yeah yeah yeah and he and at late at night we would see him walk down the hill uhhuh right with
00:37:53
his face just just just just a [ __ ] pussified
00:37:58
puss puss juice pussified famous celebrity puss juice all over his face
00:38:04
and he conf he looked confused yeah and gratified happy happy I remember the
00:38:10
night we took we took a Walkin talk we smoked a joint in my neighborhood and he told me about the who it was and I and I
00:38:15
it did make me think for a second are all my friends going to date famous people all right like it made me go oh
00:38:21
my God is is that a normal can do that yeah that's what I me you never think you can do that I thought that but you
00:38:27
can do it if they let you you can they they they never let me I think you could well I never got
00:38:35
like you know I had dinner with Kate Blanchet once I never got the vibe Kate Blanchet went to dinner with you yeah on
00:38:40
a date or on a movie when I did a movie oh you were shooting a film yeah and at night she was like well let's go take
00:38:47
the whole cast out to dinner and I was sat next to her at dinner but you were there with like 20 other people yeah Jam
00:38:52
Lee Curtis all these people were there that's not the same thing and I was sitting there and I in my mind I'm like if she did I
00:39:00
would do it if she made a move yeah yeah if K Blanchet made a move what would you what's your move look at I'm I'm k no no
00:39:06
no no please bring me a photo of her so I can play her please just so I can get in character no I I don't I I don't want
00:39:11
to get in trouble here and she's British right yeah yeah she's the nicest person
00:39:17
I ever met prob yeah that's dead on what are you
00:39:23
what will you be ordering me well you know I'm sober so I get a Diet Coke okay Diet Coke for the
00:39:30
little little one and I'll what would you be having I'll I'll have a gin and tonic oh that's nice a good choice if I
00:39:36
was do you mind if I drink in front of you oh I don't mind at all do you mind if I have a drink while you're licking my toes
00:39:43
later I'm hitting on you Robert here under the table you go I would do it you
00:39:48
would go right under the table Yeah if she said right in front of all those people oh yeah well why would you you can't say it's you know improv always
00:39:55
agree well I mean you did have you done movies with before you were married with famous
00:40:01
people when you were single no I still don't do movies with famous people Kevin Hart's not famous no that but that's now
00:40:08
that was only a couple years ago no I never got a big movie I never got to do anything with the only people that I got
00:40:13
to work with that who's the biggest actor you've worked with in my life yeah cuz you just did John Cena Tom
00:40:21
Arnold that's not even [ __ ] I've done Tom Arnold Tom Arnold I've done Tom Arnold uh who was the biggest I ever
00:40:27
work Melissa Leo when I did I mean she's an Oscar yeah huge and she would not not
00:40:33
hook up with me uh Mark Wahlberg whoa wait what yeah cuz I was um in the wardrobe department on Transformers 5
00:40:40
and I delivered him his shoe inserts w w was he nice how big are they really nice how big are they they were like um not
00:40:46
like padding but just like Comfort yeah but you were the 10th person to give him one yeah that's right they were stacking
00:40:52
him up didn't I didn't want to say it cuz he was like kind of shy he was really nice he came out of his
00:40:58
like trailer Mark wallberg you know what I mean hit on you would you yeah yeah even now well wait why you say even now
00:41:06
like no he's older I mean I don't know older he's one of those like ageless Hollywood right so if Mark Walberg calls
00:41:13
you the BL and he goes hey baby let me take you on a date with you would go on a date with him yeah I would love to go on a date with Mark and if he tried to
00:41:19
why has he said something you would make out and all that stuff with him maybe I mean I would like I mean he's still a person I'd want
00:41:25
to get probably to see what if what if he was like yo I want to take you on a date but
00:41:31
uh just let you know like I got a [ __ ] on the first date and it's only anal what would you say oh man you don't do
00:41:36
anal first dat no but it's m it's me it's mocky mock like yeah yeah yeah you know know got to let me do it baby girl
00:41:42
you got to let me do it yeah I got to [ __ ] on the first date and I got to get the ass is it your ass or my ass both
00:41:48
both I mean your I got a happening post I'll I sign it for you you never heard of the the wallberg
00:41:54
way okay do happening HG for my family yeah and free wallers for and you get free wallers for Life a good deal B me
00:42:01
over let's do this thing it was me no I worked with him that was me him and Kevin har I wonder if there's a star that would hit on me and I would just go
00:42:08
I just can't like a star like a hot Starlet Margot Robbie no Margo Robbie
00:42:14
you would say no to Margo Robbie too hot what do you mean too hot dude she's I it would be like do you get what I'm saying
00:42:21
yeah pressure I would be there and I'd be like I'd look down CU that's what you
00:42:27
do like in a war right in a war right back in the day when they had muskets
00:42:32
and the war starting right and you have your musket right and you have to look down to see if all the stuff is in there
00:42:38
you don't really yeah but I would okay immediately dead no how did how did
00:42:44
privately Lee die I didn't light it shot himself in the [ __ ] head cuz he was looking down the barrel no no I would
00:42:50
see if everything's in like so I would look at my dick and go is everything there is my if the sack there is a sack
00:42:56
there I think if Margo Robbie was with you you'd be just fine saying you don't want to get with Margo Robbie if she doesn't kiss then no
00:43:03
if she doesn't kiss you're insane crazy no I I can't get you know my thing I
00:43:10
know I can't get hard period no I can unless I know that they like me blue Cho
00:43:17
no right and so the way I know that a woman likes me if they make out so if she and I can feel during the make out
00:43:23
section that they like me right right so then I got okay I'm in but if I'm in a
00:43:28
situation where I they don't like me I can't get aroused how many girls have you slept with that don't like
00:43:34
you careful none so what do you mean but I've been in situations where one
00:43:42
time okay I I one time I did this Comedy Club I can't name the guy okay but I
00:43:47
guess I you know he go I show up at this town he goes I got you a woman got you a
00:43:52
woman and I go what do you mean yeah was this 1966 yeah and I go what do you mean he's like a woman of the night I go who
00:43:58
told you that I need this Carlos yeah yeah yeah and then I walked into the hotel room there was a woman in my hotel
00:44:04
room just sitting on the bed yeah and she goes hi so and so and I go yeah get out I can't do it h you didn't even ask
00:44:11
her what they paid for no I just can you imagine if you got like a discount package she's like hi I can jerk you off
00:44:17
but it's with my feet there's a girl in West Hollywood who does that just their of course you
00:44:23
know the girl she just feet cuz she doesn't want to touch I just need somebody to like I have to know that they like me before I do it let me tell
00:44:29
you something saying no that you wouldn't want to go on a date with Margo Robbie because she's too hot is like saying I don't want to ride down a
00:44:35
mountain on skis because it's over at some point it's like who the [ __ ] cares yes it's a quick ride Mar what they
00:44:41
don't want to what if they don't want to go to the m down to the mountain on skis no she's letting you ride down the mountain but you're like it's going to be over at some point what if you don't
00:44:46
like skiing then you don't like Margo Robbie Bingo oh wow yeah would you I'll
00:44:52
take a date with Margo Robbie you're right I would go what you I would go I would try if I didn't try I wouldn't
00:45:00
know yeah right so it's like you know I would I I would go in and she goes no no just eat my [ __ ] I just be like okay
00:45:08
and then make and then kicks you out and then the moment you're done she goes get out there's Uber outside get the [ __ ]
00:45:13
out I'm making I don't get to come what gross yuck get out oh that wouldn't ask
00:45:18
her that I would just be internal dialogue no I know but she heard you say it inside she's that good oh my favorite
00:45:24
one yeah does that so I go and then she goes get out get out are
00:45:30
you what are you insane and by the way then and then tomorrow you're going to call her anyway right Margo I had a
00:45:35
great time I know you did loser when can I when can I do it again whenever the [ __ ] I want I'll call you later okay
00:45:40
okay whenever I'll be 247 call me anytime V guess what y you
00:45:47
went to Bora Bora mhm what did I do for my little Birthday Bobby got me a little Excursion with ATVs and man what a nice
00:45:53
little journey a guided tour from VOR dude from VI tour they have over 300,000 bookable travel experiences in over 190
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it's also sometimes you know when you get a soap like a a national brand you don't feel like it's doing anything to
00:47:04
your body it doesn't it's kind of gliding across your skin right but Dr Squat you actually feel like you're cleaning stuff yeah it gets in there
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00:48:19
a granted you one one wish what would it be I'm where do you find the G where you
00:48:24
find the bottle where do we find the Genie bottle yeah on a beach or the desert aan Aran do
00:48:32
they sell Genie lamps mhm or I'm at aan yeah how much do you think a wish would cost probably like a $100 or for per a
00:48:40
wish like1 Grand at airan yeah at airan yeah oh if you got literally if you got
00:48:46
one wish literally that would be cost probably 25 million this is interesting does the genie does the genie and its
00:48:52
lamp and its wish uh giveth does that that come from where it's located like where the lamp is found like if you find
00:48:59
it in Beverly Hills yeah does he is he like a fancy looking Genie that gives you like unlimited wishes but if you
00:49:04
find one in like you know Torrance is he like dude you get a half a wish I got I got mine at Ralph's yeah if you
00:49:11
have a lamp that you find at Von what's a half wish half wish right may only some of it's going to come true yeah oh
00:49:19
the genie is kind of lazy my one wish my my one wish would be um
00:49:26
that's a tough one huh for bad friends to last forever for me and Andrew to live
00:49:32
forever for you and I to live forever yeah oh [ __ ] wow dude can you imagine the apocalypse everyone's gone
00:49:37
everything doesn't exist except for you and I but then you have a wish and you can make that better you could double
00:49:43
down on our wish wait imagine though I had the same wish and the Genie's like you [ __ ] idiots you both wh for the same thing so we just live together oh
00:49:50
no I'd be mad I go no [ __ ] dude no dude I I thought you did that that was my first ever no if we ever get a [ __ ]
00:49:57
wish right I'm going to go me and Andrew live forever yeah and your wish would be that we live forever no oh I [ __ ] it
00:50:04
up again yeah that we get a like our our our the love of our lives would lift forever too you do a wish I'll do one
00:50:10
ready go all right Genie may I call you Genie yes you may you're sorry my eyes
00:50:17
Lady Genie yeah whoa whoa my bad this Genie looks a lot different than I thought Genies would look like yeah yeah
00:50:23
well I'm you know I magic so I can trans for cool so anyway U my one wish is for
00:50:28
me and Andrew to live forever um which Andrew Santino oh yeah yeah the one I
00:50:33
the podcast with yeah you know do I get a wish Genie um okay you guys live forever what's your
00:50:39
uh my wish Andrew think about it I got it my wish is that me and my best friend
00:50:45
Bobby live forever what okay it's done see you guys later bye we're doing it no
00:50:51
dude I take it back wait so if you're the last ones on Earth you guys are [ __ ] right
00:50:56
we're so old at that point wish granted no because there's still going to be sex that was my secret wish you didn't know
00:51:03
no you know what I would go I'd go hey let's get this motorcycle cuz we'd have motorcycles of course we have
00:51:08
motorcycles right I go how do we not we got to go to San Marcos you know what's that San Marcos what you don't know
00:51:13
what's that San Marcos San Marcos San Diego oh yeah the real doll
00:51:19
factory [Music] oh think about it just two best friends
00:51:25
going to the real doll fact SE doll factory and we go in there and we can put the parts but you know what will happen what we'll use them all we'll
00:51:31
never clean them and then we'll run out no we live then we got to go find another sex doll factory this is a movie
00:51:37
two best this is like our Harold and Kumar they're trying to go to w White Castle
00:51:43
we just are trying to go get sex toys so we're traveling the country going from sex toy factory sex toy factory we use
00:51:48
them once we throw them away and then we got to go find a new one well I'm sure there's about 500 of them well then
00:51:54
let's get started and they're not one use things you can use probably one for a year it's actually a good movie two
00:52:00
best friends set out to go because of the Apocalypse instead of going to get like food or rations they want to go to
00:52:06
the ultimate sex toy factory to have sex with the most realistic doll that's just been imported from Japan basically a
00:52:11
human yeah and it's a journey that's our haen Kumar that's funny and when we get there what happens they become real in a
00:52:18
weird they they kill us yeah they kill us for sure they're hunting us and killing they're the reasons why there is
00:52:24
no more people in the world because they aliens everyone's been getting killed by sex dolls which are inhabited by aliens
00:52:29
yeah if we're the last people on Earth what okay once we went to the sex place the story I get a couple bunch of real
00:52:35
dolls I know we're joking about this but I do where would you go I do think this is coming soon where would you want to go the end of the world where would I go
00:52:40
what like if you and I are the only ones on Earth and I'm like we got to go to San Marcos and you probably go all right
00:52:46
let's go I go for you yeah but then what where would you want to go after that that's so fun yeah where's my place to
00:52:52
go to yeah I'll go anywhere I'd want you to drive Coss a country me to Augusta National to go play probably the most coveted golf course in the
00:53:00
world wait how long go ahead how long do you think gasoline would be like
00:53:06
available there plenty so much so much for just two people we'd never run out
00:53:11
never run out yeah I don't know how to use generators do you yeah what do you mean please but we need gasoline for a generator I know but I know there's
00:53:17
going to be gas around but I don't know how any of it works like I got you baby that's why you that's lighting what do you mean how do we
00:53:24
light up a place electricity he means yes what I meant well the grid will be
00:53:29
down so we'll have to use candles at night or generators yeah Jenny's with a big light That's Heavy we might as well
00:53:35
just use candles and Loud they're really really loud yeah yeah right and then here's
00:53:40
what we'll do every house we stay in when we're done we'll just Burn It To The Ground that's awes oh that's fine I mean yeah oh and can I ask you this like
00:53:47
we'll stay in LeBron James house can we have like a million dogs we'll have well first of all they'll be following us we'll be the only ones finding food
00:53:54
we'll naturally that's what would happen right yeah you would have like hundreds of dogs following around no cats though
00:54:01
one how they'll never stay with us we're on the move you don't know some of them how are we going to carry these dogs are
00:54:07
we going to put them in a in a semi we got to get a semi truck and back up with dogs here's what we do then and I'm
00:54:12
being real okay no I'm being real so am I I go we have to find one place to stay
00:54:17
no yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'll stay there we'll stay in the greatest place on Earth where Austin Texas yeah yeah
00:54:24
the center of we'll go to Joe's house no a different Joe Joe Biden oh the White House yes you
00:54:33
guys got to at least one night the White House and we'll paint it we'll paint it yellow yes we're going to go we're going
00:54:39
to own the white we're going to live in the White House that's what we're going to do okay anyway yeah wherever we go right we keep the dogs there I'll stay
00:54:46
there with them fine and I'll go on a journey and then you go you got to go to San Marcos get me this sex if you bring down if you bring back like you know
00:54:53
another the good kind you know what's going to end up happening what I do go ahead you're you're going to try to make
00:55:01
Andrew VI your servant and Andrew is just going to go off on his own get you sex dolls you're
00:55:06
gonna have find food because there's no Uber Eats no steak houses don't be silly it's she's right oh yeah meat
00:55:14
all what are you providing food is all going to go back number one you guys are so dumb dude number one okay I can go to
00:55:21
aons right Frozen food's out there's no more frozen food it's gone exactly right
00:55:27
vegetable fresh anything fresh is out correct it's only Cann but canned food I know how to open those good yeah you act
00:55:33
like you can't plant seeds yourself I know how there's pots right and I know how to pour beans in a pot correct and
00:55:39
start a fire cuz the lighters will be there that's right right right and there'll be wood true to to to do a
00:55:46
bonfire yeah um I'm going to start a Michelin star restaurant by myself that no one shows up to every night but I but
00:55:52
I prep like someone is going to come oh that's so and I stand outside with a towel on my
00:55:58
arm and I and as just as the wind just a languid wind I just go care for some
00:56:04
Italian yeah and I just stand by myself yeah losing my mind but I cook like fever every day and I'll be the wine guy
00:56:11
you finally show up yeah like Lieutenant Dan DeForest scump you finally I have no legs why did you lose your legs uh fire
00:56:18
I was making beans Lieutenant Lee let his legs on fire I was making beans and
00:56:23
I found Andrew again he never got the sex dolls but here we have this restaurant now and we're call the movie's called Lieutenant Lee's legs
00:56:30
yeah cuz and then you replaced your legs with a sex doll legs yeah wait if the if Bobby's bottom
00:56:38
half was a sex doll uhhuh yes I would okay of course what are we even talking about at some point of course I would
00:56:45
yeah if your bottom half fell off and we had to put a sex doll on the bottom how
00:56:50
much money did Lieutenant Dan give for us for the Shrimp Company what do you mean do how much did Forest Gump get
00:56:56
Lieutenant Dan didn't uh didn't Lieutenant Dan make a lot of money off of the Shrimp Company yeah but Forest
00:57:02
bought the boat from Bubba Bubba Gump's mom I understand that and then like he gives money how much money does he give
00:57:08
Forest well they got about 15 boats right because all the boats were wiped out yeah and they were the only ones
00:57:14
left right and they made them millions of dollars they had tens remember Lieutenant Dan comes to the wedding or
00:57:19
whatever right and I know that forest makes money from Lieutenant Den but I was wondering if Lieutenant Den and
00:57:25
[ __ ] him over a little bit it felt like he did a little bit those legs were made out of the same thing that the NASA space shuttle was made out of so I
00:57:30
didn't trust him when he said that's that's true them all when I look at movies like that I don't like it Taylor
00:57:36
Tomlinson to host CBS after midnight she's taking over for [ __ ] James Gordon really wow that's huge news
00:57:42
comedian has scored the late night CBS gig she beat out X mayo and Ricky valz for the hosting job the news would announced on The Late Show was stepen
00:57:48
coar whose host will executive produce the show Thomason Rising standup who's released her Netflix specials quar of life crisis and look at you
00:57:53
congratulations to Taylor oh my God our hom who's going to be now hosting I literally when you told me
00:57:59
that it gave me goosebumps at the size of coconut balls amazing I me that's
00:58:05
amazing honestly good for Taylor congratulations Taylor Thomason it's absolutely amazing it's like comedy
00:58:10
history yeah I mean honestly that's the first female comedian to host a late night show it's also she's a part she's
00:58:17
young she's young and what is she 27 got to be 25 26 but you know what's so funny
00:58:23
is this is she's walking in theot steps of some of the greats before because I will say Joan Rivers would do guest hosting for Johnny Carson she had her
00:58:29
own show too but I'm saying Joan Rivers always wanted and probably deserved to get a late night show she did on Fox the
00:58:36
main ones we're talking she had a main Fox one that's why Johnny Carson was mad at her you're not listening I'm saying like the main shows The Late Late Show
00:58:43
The Late Late Show The Tonight Show like also what Aro wasn't a real thing it was
00:58:48
dude but it's like different category though yeah you're you're missing what I'm saying the main network television late night shows are the ones that so
00:58:53
Fox Nate not L it's not mean I don't know what you just said to be honest
00:58:59
what I was trying to say was it's impressive to be a female to lead a late night show that is one of the original
00:59:05
Network late night shows you're right that's huge it's huge it's a big [ __ ] deal because Joan Rivers and all these
00:59:10
other people that had shows they weren't the main shows they weren't the late nights or The Tonight Show the late and I love they went you know we're going to
00:59:16
go young young well she's a voice of a massive generation look at her audience she sells out [ __ ] Arenas there's a
00:59:22
reason she's so famous there's a reason bargi just did [ __ ] SNL yeah but I I hope they don't it's you
00:59:29
know cuz you when you when you watch you know Fallon or any of these guys do
00:59:34
their monologues and stuff it's just it's just it just becomes so watered
00:59:40
down and cookie cutter you I mean there's no more Edge to it and I just wish that that she doesn't lose the
00:59:46
magic that's all I she's not really an edgy comedian she's a very like she's very speaks from her own voice and her
00:59:52
own perspective it's but they're going to write her topical stuff and I just just you know I just hope it doesn't I
00:59:57
don't think it will I think she'll do I think she'll do a phenomenal she doesn't have an edge she's not an edgy comic
01:00:02
she's a very like I think she's cool though you know she is but she's a wholesome like a the reason they booked
01:00:08
her on that yeah is because she's receivable to to a to an American audience yeah she doesn't go out of her
01:00:13
way to talk about poop and jerking off like this show I'm sorry news flash we're definitely not getting on Late
01:00:19
Night anytime soon never she's much more clean and concise and intelligent her comedy is very very uh it's
01:00:27
good and this is [ __ ] it's not [ __ ] this is goofball Wackadoo nonsense we're about to
01:00:34
show so we did Denver and um we've been doing guys is we're doing talent shows and because we know our fans have M
01:00:41
massive Talent we've had some pretty impressive we had a lady that did a hawk not Hawk no she did a seagull a seagull
01:00:48
we had a bunch of rappers we had a rapper in DC who was actually really good we had a rapper in Denver was good too we've had a lot of hidden talent
01:00:54
fans I think the most impressive Talent was what let's say it on three one two three
01:01:02
queef oh wait what were you gonna say I I I was going to say so we we're doing
01:01:08
she wasn't on the lineup right and we asked the audience we have a lot of talented you know I mean people that
01:01:13
signed up for the talent show and some random lady in the audience goes I can queef on command and we always gets your
01:01:21
attention yeah get on stage you got to get on stage yeah so that's to me I went stop hold and there was 3,500 people
01:01:27
there not only could she queef on command when she came on stage which by the way you know they gave us that microphone she used we have it here it's
01:01:33
incase in the front room why they didn't want to use it again it's it's it's melted the top is just oh I see but this
01:01:40
woman could queef on beat she she made a beat she could queef with a beat it was incredible it was like a golden buzzer
01:01:46
Moment Like An AGT like everybody V oh my God we're sending her to the finals
01:01:51
You Remember When mosart Sally AR I remember you remember yeah what sal
01:01:58
sal sal you're such an [ __ ] dude [ __ ] assho such a [ __ ] pretentious [ __ ] you know who you know who you
01:02:04
are dude you're the kind of guy that likes $35 water you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah sari salari salari salari
01:02:12
was wrote a a piece for the King right and the king is practicing and because
01:02:18
he wants to show off in front of mosart right right and mosart comes in and goes
01:02:23
well I think this will be better and he made it better that's what this lady was like you imagine mozar comes in the room
01:02:29
when somebody's composing something and he's just like eating something he just goes gay to whatever some yeah but he um
01:02:36
she came in and goes hold hold my drink hold my drink yeah and watch what I can
01:02:41
do but you know what the weird is you can hear it go it wasc incred uh we
01:02:46
can't we can't show the video on the main page here of course but we have a we have a patreon we're going to show it there go watch it on the patreon if you
01:02:52
want it's on there we can't show it on the main monov of queefs the rock manof of queefs go check it out on the patreon
01:02:58
uh because if we show it on here YouTube will get mad at us again again uh and I want to say
01:03:03
this I really really really love you who me juice oh
01:03:10
me and to the fans out there that have been asking we are an inch away from
01:03:15
closing down a deal so we can go to Australia to perform for our fans oh yeah Sydney Perth Adelaide Brisbane
01:03:20
Auckland we're all over the place down Ona we're working on it right now in the meantime uh go see us out uh in 2024 get
01:03:28
the tickets cuz we're going to be in like Atlantic City we're going to be in Tucson we're going to be Reno tacul
01:03:34
Sacramento uh so go check us out at badf friends pod.com for those tickets and thank you for being a bad friend thank
01:03:39
you for being a bad
01:03:46
friend you know how I Knew by the way what time you left in Denver uh when I walked past the hotel room how would I
01:03:52
know that you what you did that morning or that late that night what do you mean there was a cart in the hallway with all the food on it that you ordered yeah and
01:03:58
I literally go God I knew Bobby ate last night we just ate dinner and I go I bet he ate again I lifted up the
01:04:03
napkin and she starts cracking up spaghetti steak soup salad we just ate
01:04:11
and he had so much stuff so here's the deal uh we can you never do that again
01:04:17
what that's my food I didn't touch it know it's intrusive it don't you were done with it I covered it you were done
01:04:23
did I not cover my food that's to say I'm done doesn't matter it's mine don't look at it I'm going to look at it every
01:04:28
time I'm going to do whatever I want I'll look at your [ __ ] food all I want especially if you're done you're done it's for the garbage you're
01:04:34
throwing it away can I can I can I tell you another thing then yeah go ahead since we're here at this level yeah
01:04:40
let's go then I wasn't really going to fart on your wife yeah you were no I wasn't and you
01:04:47
acted so [ __ ] weird about it you farted on everyone in the Green Room you also did fart right next to her cuz you
01:04:52
thought it was funny and I said don't [ __ ] fart on her but why are you so [ __ ] weird about it cuz it's crazy
01:04:58
disrespectful she did not want that to happen yeah she was not into it that's not okay she doesn't like that okay but
01:05:03
don't get that angry about it nobody is nobody is shut up I'm going to font on your wife next time I see her can you imagine he would be so [ __ ] mad I
01:05:10
don't give a [ __ ] now that they have a baby he'll kill you that's instant yeah yeah yeah anyway you can do whatever you
01:05:15
want to me okay not well then how about this that's you don't look at my food I don't fart on your wife I'm going to
01:05:21
look at your food all I'm to F your wife and I'll beat the [ __ ] out of you and I'll beat the [ __ ] out of me yeah you will okay I'll beat the [ __ ] out of
01:05:27
myself God you get so mad about stupid things man to do something so stupid
01:05:32
there's other things you get mad about I don't want to talk about you're 52 and to fart on somebody's wife is insane
01:05:38
backstage it's fun it doesn't matter what stage it's on front stage backstage okay anyway idiot [ __ ] [ __ ] dud
01:05:46
[ __ ] idiot dude take a chill pill as 52-year-old that farts on people there other things though too that you just
01:05:52
get mad about fart on people yeah yeah nobody wants to be farted on ever can I tell you another thing that
01:05:58
you get M no I don't want to bring it up look at your face nobody wants to be farted on
01:06:04
period I know but it was a joke I wasn't really going to do I had asked my but you did you justed my butt that's my
01:06:10
butt give put it on the mic [Music]
01:06:19
yeah wo
01:06:27
wooo
01:06:32
yeah
