FBI’s Top Hostage Negotiator: The Art Of Negotiating To Get Whatever You Want: Chris Voss | E147
- May 29, 2022
- 1:02:49
- Full Episode
This episode is part of our USA series, over the coming weeks you will get to see some incredible conversations with guests the likes of which we’ve never seen before. Bringing more value, more incredible stories, and more world-beating expertise.
Chris Voss is the former lead negotiator for the FBI, and the author of Never Split the Difference, a book about how to negotiate and how to get what you want from other people which has sold millions of copies worldwide. He has handled practically every high stakes crisis management scenario imaginable.
0:00 Intro 01:27 Early years 03:03 Beginning of your career 09:13 The nature of human behaviour in business negotiations 14:28 The first hostage negotiation job 26:52 Hostage negotiation role play 35:11 How important is listening? 37:46 Different tone of voices for negotiations 41:50 “labelling their pain” 44:46 The power of “thats right” 46:53 Negotiations in romantic relationships 49:55 Was there an instants where it didn’t go right for you? 56:22 Mirroring technique 58:34 Black-swan group 59:03 The last guests question
Chris: https://www.instagram.com/thefbinegotiator/
Chris’ book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-Depended/dp/1847941494
Books mention: Start With NO - https://www.amazon.com/Start-Negotiating-Tools-that-Pros/dp/0609608002
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Sponsors: Huel - https://my.huel.com/Steven Myenergi - https://bit.ly/3oeWGnl Location courtesy of The Nightfall Group: www.nightfallgroup.com
Brief Summary
Chris Voss discusses negotiation techniques, trauma, and the importance of listening in personal and professional interactions.
Key points
- The Cost of Negotiation. Chris Voss discusses the emotional toll of being a hostage negotiator.
- Lessons from the Hotline. Voss shares insights from his time volunteering at a suicide hotline.
- Understanding Loss in Negotiation. Voss explains how the fear of loss influences human behavior and decision-making.
- The Importance of Dignity. Negotiation can hinge on treating individuals with dignity and respect, even in high-stakes situations.
- The Power of Listening. Listening is a critical skill in negotiations that can increase deal velocity and trust.
- Labeling Emotions. Labeling negative emotions can diminish their intensity and foster understanding in negotiations.
Episode highlights
- The Cost of NegotiationChris Voss discusses the emotional toll of being a hostage negotiator.“The truth sometimes is a knife to the heart.”0:46May 29, 2022
- Lessons from the HotlineVoss shares insights from his time volunteering at a suicide hotline.“I went there to learn a skill and ended up serving the community.”7:34May 29, 2022
- Understanding Loss in NegotiationVoss explains how the fear of loss influences human behavior and decision-making.“Loss looms larger than gain.”11:50May 29, 2022
- The Importance of DignityNegotiation can hinge on treating individuals with dignity and respect, even in high-stakes situations.“You’ll be treated with dignity and respect.”25:26May 29, 2022
- The Power of ListeningListening is a critical skill in negotiations that can increase deal velocity and trust.“There is no negotiation methodology that doesn't list listening as an advanced skill.”36:18May 29, 2022
- Labeling EmotionsLabeling negative emotions can diminish their intensity and foster understanding in negotiations.“Labeling the negative that I hear diminishes the negative emotion every time.”44:36May 29, 2022
- Negotiation IntentUnderstanding the intent behind negotiations can transform relationships.“If you want things to be better, you need to hear them out.”49:07May 29, 2022
- Post-Traumatic GrowthTraumatic experiences can lead to personal growth or lasting damage.“Do you learn post-traumatic stress growth or are you damaged?”50:17May 29, 2022
