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Whitney Cummings on today Dana Whitney uh she's one of my friends that when I'm on
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Instagram I used to see her podcast on there right when we were starting I was like oh she has one and Theo and Tim
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Dylan I uh all of uh people I know and hang out with a little bit so Whitney um
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it was about time you know flying the wall has got a little leaning toward SNL
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but we also work in just funny comics to get a good funny hour out she she loved
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SNL she and they all love SNL and they're all influenced by S connection that's our big
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tie-in she comes she comes in uh with a lot of energy and really dropping some
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funny funny adlibs in this I wanted you to call her a OD call her and say I
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don't know if those are planned bits but you can make a special out of some of those things some of these things are she has some very very funny riffs and
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lots lots of energy yeah good on her feet uh a lot of good road stories uh
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she was the first I when I met her she was showrunning two shows she had
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Whitney the show and she also had Two Broke Girls she created and that was just right when she got here when she
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was 29 I think so she's been uh working hard since so I see her a lot at The
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Improv in The Comedy Store and she just had a baby and um we're all trying to
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figure out she's who's the dad um that's the reality show and the host is the
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initials are DS yeah welcome to who the baby daddy um so
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anyway T it as a timeout no I was doing a scissor for GR yeah okay we can cut
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that anyway we have it's bad enough we made
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fun of Biden we don't need this on us yeah yeah we don't need this [ __ ] the mics will be turned off next no anyway
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she was she was great really really fun high energy interview here is the lovely and hilarious Whitney coming
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[Music] I wasn't the star of the zoom Co shows
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like you were SP you [ __ ] how dare you right off the bat he played you played elevators didn't you play an
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elevator once you did just like a one minute he had he had lined a fountain at the
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Grove I thought we were gonna do this Whitney I thought dude he killed at the
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American D girl plays God damn it I said you [ __ ] it up thank you thank
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you that's all I wanted all I wished for can you say it again just articulate it
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you killed at the American Girl Doll place I don't even know what it's called close enough I did pretty good when I
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did the balcony of Cheesecake patio dude I could not follow you at Build-A-Bear you murdered oh that was pretty smooth
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okay thanks thanks thanks and warming up warming up you know where I never doell Zara changing room at Zara by the way
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are you one of those people do you shop at Zara uh I walk by yeah you know like I love
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the new brag that people do that they have the least expensive clothes it used to be like it's guc if someone's like I
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like your shirt you like Gucci or whatever yeah but now it's like Zara like I only paid $10 for like 19
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children made this yeah more kids made it it costs way less this that's not
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even a tie-dye that's a child's tear like they're bragging of how cheap their clothes are now uhuh yeah but the whole
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economy has made America turn into aan aan you know I'm jumping in I don't
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even know if we're recording are we we almost over yeah we are and there's there's no structure and no really good
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idea I've listen to the show I agree um I one of my favorite no I love this
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shows no it's unbelievable no there's there's a lot of them I'm just going to go out on Limb and say there's a lot of
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shows out there 3 million I by the way I'm going to say something that's going to get me in trouble I'm I'm I'm going
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to say something that's going to get me uncast from the pop the sequel to The Pop-Tart movie um your interview with
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Seinfeld was I think maybe the best of anyone that's ever interviewed
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him maybe the only good one whoa that won't get you in trouble with us he was so funny he loves as you know the
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process of standup I think he could have done another two hours about the idios syonic aspect of the art of or science
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of standup right he was F he just kept saying to you guys like fascinating fascinating it was I loved it he liked
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it and he's also not afraid to tell me when I have a horribly dumb question but I like that because that means that when
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he's positive it it's real that but that's what I think you know he was trying to figure out I loved when he
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said do you guys listen to podcast why Spade I heard you
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laugh no no why would I never do that but I think yeah no these things are a mess but I I liked it because it felt
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like there's so few people he could be Gruff with like I think that when you're a comic you're like a heavyweight and
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everyone else is a lightweight not in a negative way you're better if you're not someone whose default is to play rough
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um but the fact that he really felt like he could like play rough with you and like play and it felt like he was just
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it's rare that I see him have that much fun the um the fascinating Nexus between
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him and Leno who Maybe Leno probably had the maybe the best quote in the history
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to standup defining it for open micers write joke tell joke get
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check really boiled it down and Jerry is is a disciple I don't know religiously
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but he's into stoicism which is this Roman Emperor thing that you do not create
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problems you don't have and problems you can't solve you ignore so whenever you Jerry's bluntness
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is a push against that like what if I don't have new material no write more jokes you know it's like and it's very
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that's what that's where it's coming from and once I understood that I thought I wasn't on my heels like what
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what what's all this aggression coming from he just can't stand negativity well he also says he doesn't suffer fools
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like if you're not what Whitney says no I'll get to her I which by the way Spade I have so I
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was about to give spade a compliment just really quick I love listening to both of you together uh I get why this
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Show's a hit one of my favorite things Spade has ever done is when you were on
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Howard Stern this must have been like 12 years ago I love it when you drop a
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reference that is so esoteric truly no one gets it I think I'm I think I'm the
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only one uh you sat down on Howard Stern's couch and you went oh what is
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this the gallery I mean it's like there's one the gallery it is it hasn't
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been open in like 20 years it's out in alhamra it was just like I love it
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you're like one for you and that one was for me thank you yes it was weird furniture it is a funny moment when you
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go on Howard Stern and they put you in and you sit there and then they put the thing on you and the mic is there it's like you're getting a little kids's hat
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on or something it's just a funny moment here you go and it's right there it's also 400 a.m. like the the Luna hasn't
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even worn off I still have nil PM pulsing through my veins I'm like this
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is going to go real Rosanne real fast every time every time I walk out of
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Howard start I'm like that went well then someone gives me my phone it's like 47 Miss calls like from my publist being
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like why did you sit on a vibrator saddle oh yeah why did you oh that's the
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old Howard though now it's long form interviews right yeah that's true but um but oh to get back to the St ISM thing
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Dana are you into stoicism well I think it's a good thing if you can do it not worry about things you can't control I
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um and these were the Greeks like a thousand years ago right um a Roman
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Emperor Marcelo was a kind of wrote a book called meditations which had a lot of
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the he it was a diary to himself but it was discussing philosophy of life and
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nature and everything and part of it the core thing is don't make problems where they don't exist you go to a therapist
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about that you know being neurotic and if it is a problem you can't solve don't worry about it is if you cannot worry if
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you can go through life at peace and not worrying about things you can't control that's a good thing but that's all
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that's the limit of my knowledge Whitney go ahead I I just as a general rule I tend to not take advice from a thousand
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year ago Romans as a general rule I try to not 2000 whatever I try to not take
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was a middle from men that just had sex with kids like I don't know this new
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thing where everyone's like you know what the Romans said I'm like I feel like their judgment was a little off I
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don't know probably they live to be 24 they lived in like castles and more
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dresses and sandals like how hard was their life like I I just don't know if 2,000 years ago wisdom applies to like
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are we addicted to social media you know what was what did he say about that what
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would Jerry say no what Roman guy R guy I like that Jerry's not self-indulgent
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like he's like it's not my job to care right it's like you know I like he says don't sorry to interrupt you I'll keep
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doing it but he uh he says about stand up because I said oh we're doing a
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special and then I hate I hate throwing everything away I don't even want to throw everything away I I love it so much he's like don't throw it away you
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don't have enough good stuff like everyone thinks they have a great new hour he goes you don't your first hour is great and then it just gets watered
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down and watered down and they keep turn it out it is hard to do a because you want to percolate with that stuff and
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let it marinate for years before you go this one is [ __ ] tight and then you go do it and they go okay throw it in the garbage I have a question for you
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too has has doing the podcast changed the way you perform standup because
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sometimes I feel like there pressure to be more conversational because you know what I mean it's like will I come off corny if
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I come out with jokes for a bunch of people that have heard me having like more casual conversations does it ever affect you oh I see
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I would think that it did affect me in a way if I'm in a small room I don't know
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about if it's a big Casino or something all the noise but I would even call it podcast standup in other words sometimes
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I I wrote a bit about the world's first sociopath to say it's like old story I say this bit has never worked I'm gonna
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do it we're I'm gonna go through it again and tell you the parts you hated and they love that and I it's kind of
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podcasty put it that way I love that do you find that since you been podcasting
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people are more interactive in the audience I'm trying to figure out if it's from crowdwork Clips if we've
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trained them I don't I I don't mind did you did you see the giant sorry to interrupt I like to do it the huge
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article in the New York Times The Wall Street Journal about the the crowd work
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becoming the thing even with comedians who could write an hour what's better than me hatching a bit with crowd work
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so when when we came along that was considered hacky to lean on it you know to be a crowd workor guy easiest thing
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in the world where are you from why is your wife a [ __ ] you know Bo you know so it is a big it's there's a movement
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now I mean you're aware of that right with younger standups yeah I I did not read the New York Times article about it
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I don't pay for my news um you know like dude I am so I am very
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up to date with the news as long as it's free like I've realized about myself the news the news can literally be like are
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we going to war with Russia I'm like Oh my we and it's like $ two $2 to hear that I always years of
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the New York Times no thanks Whitney the what reason I do it is because I always tell anyone who has an opinion about
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anything immediately read the opposite immediately read the opposite don't just just if you're worried about climate
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change go read The Wall Street Journal or go on Fox News if you're not then go so I I like to Wall Street Journal and
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the Wall Street and the New York Times are Coke and Pepsi of left and right and it's 100 bucks a year for a thing and I
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just peruse their editorials this because I want to know what what they think New York Times is a just a gay
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blog at this point right isn't it just like a pride parade
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pamphlet I don't I'm not really yeah I'm not really clear on what it even is I
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mean dude the New York Times is like if I sto following them on Twitter because they'll juxtapose the most horrendous
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news with like new Twist on Avocado toast and then the next tweet will be
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like 700 children blown up in Gaza I'm like Jesus guys like I know it's a little hard do you ever find yourself
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reading comments on of after an editorial and that's where you get a sense of this iist to the newspaper but
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if you read comments in the New York Times about the Trump and Biden it'll be
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like Trump is more crazy he can't put two words together and he falls down
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that's almost 300 comments saying no that's the guy then you go on Fox News
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and it's like Biden can't so it's very interesting you can get a quick hit on the American culture I'm so much deeper
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than I'm wherever my algorithm is Biden's a lizard uh and oh
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no why you gave a thumb Whitney just got a a virtual
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thumbs up oh you gave that mean you you program it to thumbs up your own jokes for those of you listening you can't see
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this but on my zoom I'm basically we all have to be Korean teenagers now where
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when I make a gesture wait this one is the most embarrassing if you give two thumbs up it starts wow now you have
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fireworks is making gestures and then fireworks are coming up and so how do to
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tell to for old people how do we get that on our I I don't know the reason I was late to the call because I just
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redownloaded zoom I don't on Zoom there was a um did you not read there was a uh
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it was released at the zoom terms of agreement which by the way we never read which is so funny we never read any of
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these it says you're donating to Russia totally like and it was Zoom they were
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using our Zoom calls to train robots which I think would be very funny
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if the robots were a remix of comedians doing podcasts at least we don't have to worry about them taking
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over so I all the robots are doing crowd work now also with zoom calls and stuff
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do I feel like people are abusing this a little bit I'll get on a zoom and I'm like you guys this was a text at most this was a [ __ ] one sentence text
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this was barely an email like what are we doing here would you like us to
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manage your cookies that that comes up a lot would you like us to cookies are your past searches right I think it's
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how they harvest us and sell us to robot it's vagina sick cookies allows
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them can we get your cookies so I have I have absolutely I'm sorry cut you off I
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feel like I'm just not answering your questions and being a good um uh not I have you're our favorite guest so far no
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pressure I was actually gonna ask you that well you're bringing a lot of funn
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funniness and energy was pretty nice Dana decided to eat lunch during the
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podcast I know are you are you choking on a ludin what's happened he's got a Luna Bar just little little
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tangerines do you have a pay partnership with cuties no not an ice cream a cutie is
00:16:00
like a little fake ice cream I mean this is the level of Fame Dana and Spade you
00:16:05
have a paid partnership with Dole fruit yeah everything about me this is North
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Face everything about me is paid these glasses are yeah everything is yeah pod
00:16:17
sponsor is chaita banana are you in a second grade classroom or something Jesus teacher are you like I wish you
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could see this she's got sorry I'm not in an Frank's basement and
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Spade I don't know what Spade Spade what is that is that a sound booth that's a
00:16:35
skateboard I had [ __ ] behind me but it was there was photos of things and it
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just all was too distracting so it was either have too much like you or Bobby Le where it's like so many bobbleheads
00:16:46
and stuff or you have something plain someone just looks at me and that's so I thought I won that round you know what a
00:16:53
lot of people don't know a lot about you Spade you skateboarded for real
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no I know how to skateboard and so I kept getting I was a skater from like
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you know eight years old to like till now but I was pretty good at in the
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pools and ramps to kill time because I couldn't play football in high school so I was you know that I'm dating do you
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know I'm dating a pro skateboarder oh I know your butd yeah I see him I saw him at the Improv with you the other night
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yeah yeah yeah and but he's better than me yes he's a professional skate and it's very
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hard wow he forced me to watch Joe Dirt which I had never seen before well I
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don't know force is the word you're looking for it was it was I called Ronin Pho after I I marched I put on a [ __ ]
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hat in March okay so you're famous um and you're out there and you're Whitney
00:17:46
so how do you meet a guy like that were you at a skate park or I just curious
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yeah I was uh on Instagram he DMD me on Instagram slid into the DM yeah and I
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responded yep and I do you exchange pictures Lally no other way to meet people he knows how
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you look because there only my YouTube videos and specials so did you want a picture of him yeah and then I looked at
00:18:12
his and I don't really know the skateboarding world but what I will say is that skateboarding the trajectory and
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the standup trajectory are very similar like I literally started doing stand-up in parking lots you know you do it on your own with a bunch of weirdo you know
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it's like skating is kind of the same you know like you know skating is physical injury like stand up I guess is
00:18:30
more like emotional injury I also didn't know about skateboarding you get paid like nothing unless you're like the guy
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you know and so and so it's it's we actually had a lot in common from that but I didn't know anything about
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skateboarding I I do prefer men who have CTE um I don't like men that remember
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what I said yesterday because I'm such a hypocrite so I was like this could work um but I didn't know he was like
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successful at it and so I was like congrats like this is so cool that you're like trying to do this it's like
00:18:59
seeing an older man with braces you're like good job like it's so cool and then I found out he's like
00:19:06
pretty good at it you know well Tony Hawk was on and he'd go I broke this five times his shoulder I broke the
00:19:13
clavicle three times it's almost like a badge of honor how's your guy doing yeah no he's a disaster um it's the first
00:19:20
time I've ever had to be on top it's a nightmare um no it's you got a new hour
00:19:26
We're recording this he comes home for honey how was your kickflip of all the of all the athletes though I dated a
00:19:32
rock climber that's even worse because rock climbers they can't get their fingers wet that's not a joke is it true
00:19:39
because they'll die they'll die they'll slide off the mountain yeah I think that's why he was dating an older woman
00:19:45
I don't know but the point is that I dating athletes I've never been a fan of because they're so competitive like
00:19:51
about every little thing and like you can't be like oh take a left here and he's like I think it's a right I'm like
00:19:57
I think it's a left and he's like oh it is a left but then I'll be like you know it should have been a right because technically if the freeway like it
00:20:02
should like he can't lose an argument he can't you know sounds like a keeper
00:20:07
we're both very Petty so it gets we get along great nice but he loves Joe Dirt he made me watch Joe Dirt I had never
00:20:14
seen it before is that weird you haven't gotten to a compliment yet but I'll wait that's a little weird it's it's a
00:20:20
classic I would say of the 9s she's like it is a movie I watched it it was a movie that you were in um what else is
00:20:27
there to say I don't know but there's I watching it now for the first time is
00:20:32
wild it's it's not really girl movie go ahead CU you're seeing David in his nice
00:20:39
in it you and I are like real friends and I was like if this is such an iconic thing what if I become a fan of and like
00:20:46
ruin our friendship what if I'm like hey can I get a picture wouldn't that be weird if I all of a sudden became like a creepy fan of yours like yeah we don't
00:20:52
want that you know what I mean but are you glad that I love you for you and I'm friends with you lot of people that I
00:20:59
see that I that don't know really anything because no one always watches everything like we've talked about so I
00:21:07
I did see your shows Whitney and I had seen to broke we call it to broke we do
00:21:13
okay okay you call are you busy are you busy too busy to finish it yeah do you call it TB did you did you smile what
00:21:21
was the look on your face when he brought up Two Broke Girls cuz yeah you just lit up that was weird wasn't it I
00:21:27
went like I had like very bizarre like Belle's Paul well what are you like 25 and you make up a show and it does 140
00:21:34
episodes I mean I think you're kind of I don't know you work hard looking at your
00:21:40
very smart girl you keep you keep going I don't know I mean so you got books you
00:21:45
got oh by the way it's still called your podcast is called good for you thank you
00:21:50
yes just wanted to promote that done than you I appreciate it you guys well no my podcast is doing well but then
00:21:57
people like you decided to podcast and now none of us are doing well they're like like we were doing great we got a
00:22:04
lot of competition too we got [ __ ] Ted dancing you know that dick oh God has a podcast why why no not try to be
00:22:12
mean but why he did it with Woody I think they talk do they talk it's not only about cheers it's about uh cheers
00:22:19
at another bar yeah I have to make sure that people knew I joking he's an incredibly sweet guy he's on a show next
00:22:26
week yeah he's yeah he's coming out anyone a lot of people are doing it put it anyone that can outrun
00:22:33
blackface they're just they're meant to be they're cemented they're cemented the guy can literally do no wrong but wait a
00:22:39
minute do you think Whoopi was who kind of egged him on and probably put the stuff on Ted do you think she was
00:22:45
secretly kind of smiling to herself like as heo pod yeah yeah maybe do you think
00:22:54
she applied it I mean that's my main thing with black face I'm like let's let's talk about the person that applied
00:22:59
it up to the waterline I mean like to the water line Justin Trudeau
00:23:06
black face it's on his hands I mean that must have taken seven hours it was like the X-Men makeup artist must have done
00:23:12
it I mean that's what it really gets I never found it funny and I never was ever gonna put have someone put me in
00:23:19
black face because I remember watching Al jolon as a kid those 1930s Shirley
00:23:25
Temple movies and it was like this is not right and I'm like 10 years old I just go I don't like it when people ask
00:23:32
me you know they're always like so is the Hollywood business is it a perverted place I'm like let's just put it this
00:23:38
way it was built on the back of a four-year-old toddler named Shirley Temple who was twerking on grown men at
00:23:43
War she was always like at War like on a ship with a bunch of sailors there was no M no babysitter in sight no Mom just
00:23:51
she was just adopted by a bunch of old men no in oh intimacy coordinator Judy
00:23:57
Garland who I did a sitcom dude remember her remember her
00:24:03
movie The Finger blast lollipop whatever that song was if Shir we are in movie we
00:24:08
know how to make movies when Shirley Temple is in a movie at four that means she was cast at like three and a half
00:24:13
she was having wardrobe fittings she got an agent at two yeah
00:24:19
head shot at one got a nose job in Udo any I reading class nose job and
00:24:26
uo we're done it okay we can move on now Whitney Whitney 15 Dana David
00:24:37
3 I never answered about the crowdwork thing so look I think it's cool that um
00:24:46
you know we're moving a little bit like on social media more towards things that are easier to make I just look at it as that opportunity to go okay we can do
00:24:53
something harder than that crowd workor is a thing that you are supposed to just get as a you know fun surprise at a live
00:24:58
show but like to blow all of your written standup on clips that was hard
00:25:04
for us too you know so it's like if we can just go out and put crowd work on here and not blow the material we would
00:25:10
put in a special maybe this is a good way to feed the beast of social media started trouble yes you have to have
00:25:16
content if you're really in this business you have to have something in this slipstream almost daily every other
00:25:22
day I I met many Grumpy Old Men when I was coming up you know it ain't like it
00:25:27
used to be so I prom promis myself I wouldn't be someone going well that's not real comedy so it's the way it is
00:25:34
now in less than a minute that this new art form called clips and I find it
00:25:39
really kind of fun and we have people clip it together and they put little cartoons on it so it's like it's
00:25:45
actually a cool new art form and it's people love it and it's kind of like you know I think it's cool to let people
00:25:51
know like yes we write our jokes but also look how funny we are extemporaneously and if you do come to a
00:25:56
show you'll get a chance to talk to us like you know although the the funny side effect to me is that like everyone
00:26:03
in the first like three rows is dressed now like they're going to get in a clip
00:26:08
and it's like the first three rows the [ __ ] just have like hats and like cowboy everyone's just like ready to be
00:26:14
on camera like oh like also make fun of me yeah yeah exactly and they're kind of just like do you want to make fun of my
00:26:20
tits and and I'm just like do I have to you want to sque um yes I feel like people are kind of like ready to be on
00:26:25
camera at all times you know oh yeah which is fine too why not your podcast
00:26:31
has clips that are funny and so you're funny on those and then which we do those podcast ones too and then then you
00:26:37
are doing clips from your standup so when people come see you do standup it's funny because in their mind you better
00:26:44
be funny on your podcast you better be funny In Crowd work because I had someone go I thought your show was great
00:26:50
but I did see a bit you did on Ellen a couple years ago I'm like how what what
00:26:55
is can I not I have to do 15 minutes on Ellen every three weeks like I have to
00:27:02
some repeat business oh which is so annoying because like musicians it's like play the hits play the hits you
00:27:09
know and we're just like Jesus you know that's that is really frustrating that is my worst nightmare that I Remix
00:27:15
something the exact opposite you're like Journey they [ __ ] did Don't Stop Believing I almost walked out yeah I had
00:27:21
a guy tell me once maybe you guys have had this after a show years ago he goes no matter how many times I hear those
00:27:27
jokes there still funny to me you know you're like I need some new
00:27:32
material oh no I'm obsessed with the backhand of compliments you get when you walk off stage like that people
00:27:39
genuinely think they're saying something nice like when you get off stage and someone's like you know you're too smart
00:27:45
for them yeah you're just too smart for them they just right over this crowd they [ __ ] this crowd I'm like I thought
00:27:51
I did well like when I come off stage and someone's like you are such a good writer
00:27:58
like what yeah quitting stand back to just writing or like I get a lot of like
00:28:04
you know what I love about you you don't even care what you wear like you don't even care how you look you're just so so
00:28:11
authentic like you don't care what you look I'm like I tried very hard for this do you still want to do meet and greets
00:28:16
or who are these people are they crew crew members off to the side my manager
00:28:22
um I do you guys do meet and greets when you tour I have in a while if they want
00:28:28
wanted I'm playing a casino this weekend I assume the tribal Elders will come in
00:28:34
with blue eyes and blonde hair and a little feather and go I love playing
00:28:40
casinos dude because you know that on native land there's no police there's no
00:28:45
police they're not you're not really the show it's half papered they the casino doesn't want you to go too long get them
00:28:52
at the table so you know oh I last time I did a casino I don't remember where it
00:28:57
was I don't want to you know um get in trouble with the native Community by um making up a silly name but we already
00:29:04
did that with the Sandler movie ridiculous six spade and so so I am at
00:29:10
this casino there is a guy in the lobby when I tell you bleeding from the head just bleeding from the head insert
00:29:17
scalped joke here um and I was like oh we need to call the police there I mean
00:29:22
David Spade is literally yawning you guys just FYI for the people listening no no I know where this is going I just gave Mano with my story and I was like
00:29:29
we have to get the police and the police are appointed by the elders it's like their friends that need a job oh yeah C
00:29:38
that's it that's it's their Entourage I like casinos there's something fun about being in a venue
00:29:44
where everyone else is making worse decisions than you you know what I mean like it's okay these are like memes I
00:29:51
need a minute to process that I love casinos I always have my tour and then there's always casinos peppered in they
00:29:57
just throw you in you're like it's a little out of your way but it's worth it you go out there they're usually pretty good the last they can be really good
00:30:04
unless it's Vegas and July and it's 121 outside and they've been by the pool all
00:30:09
day and either they they're drunk or they're literally almost asleep that's kind of rough I love the science of
00:30:15
casinos one of my favorite things um uh to satisfy my I like to think pretty
00:30:20
high functioning autism is the carpets in casinos and in the casino hotels you
00:30:25
know they're specifically designed to disguise like blood and [ __ ] and puke so the the patterns are always just like
00:30:33
red splatters like look at it next time W kind of fascinating did not know that I do like
00:30:39
the No No clocks and it's all dark and there's something about people at a slot
00:30:44
machine with a free drink um that seems like one of the most decadent things you can do and it's 10:00 a.m. and they're
00:30:51
just going to have free drinks all day and pull slots it's so wild and then the the brand there's like a sex in the City
00:30:58
slot machine and you're just kind of like I love that someone at HBO was like you know what we need this season like
00:31:04
who is putting all these together like it's a fascinating business model to me um and I also find it um fascinating
00:31:10
because there's always so much more security at cinos like do you ever notice like I feel like I go to casinos
00:31:16
I feel like more glamorous for some reason I don't know why like when you're just doing venues they're like hey what's up like they don't you know sound
00:31:22
Trek like they don't whereas like because I mean maybe it's because the people that are working at those venues want to be Comics or you know ludicrous
00:31:28
was there the night before and you're just some you know idiot from premium blend or whatever but like I noticed
00:31:34
this recently do you guys noticed this that like when you're known or famous or
00:31:41
whatever that everyone always thinks you're going to fall like when I walk to the stage the
00:31:48
number of people who hover around me to make sure I don't fall I'm like yeah yeah are you in uh heels what do you
00:31:55
wear the sneakers like like security and stuff like like I it's just funny when
00:32:01
you finally get like successful or something and you're like oh no one respects me like I thought it would make
00:32:06
people think I was competent and I like can you go can I help you down the stairs and you're like no no I I got I think I got it like what is it's gonna
00:32:13
be about a six foot walk you got it you're gonna go straight out then it it the stage ends at some point so don't
00:32:18
walk off the end is there stff do I come off dumb like do I come off like I get lost a lot like I I think it's more fake
00:32:25
reasons to talk to you and grab you cuz you're oh I'm too stupid no you're cute and
00:32:31
they just want to talk a reason to talk to you but you know when they like hover around like you know like Matt R I'm
00:32:36
like he's 25 years old he's got it he's got it like like 80 old P horse backstage he's fine but um but and then
00:32:45
so what is the what are you guys gonna tour together no plans no
00:32:51
plans you hate money H you know well no us that's what our manager says when you
00:32:57
do the math money group shows be great great for five of you go out together and then you
00:33:02
do the math of the door and I don't know how much value added i' probably just ski in the wake of Spade's crowd can we
00:33:09
do it we love money tour us three will go in the car from Joe Dirt I just found
00:33:15
out it was for sale it was bought already Spade Spade didn't buy it the car from Joe Dirt was
00:33:21
for sale and Spade did not buy it what is money for it was 330 Grand you make
00:33:29
like she said why didn't you buy it it's your bab you make that with one crunchy Leaf
00:33:35
post no uh I actually talked to the guy about buying it beforehand and then I
00:33:41
thought I would have it here but I would be not many people could see it because I don't have like a used car lot you
00:33:48
can't you know I just have a garage and it's just I love that car I [ __ ] love it and the guy that bought it is cool he
00:33:54
has a huge jod dirt tattoo on his chest and he loves the mov and uh it's
00:33:59
fascinating the people that have that stuff I remember when we did Roseanne the reboot I did the first season back
00:34:04
and there was a guy that collected you know stuff from TV shows and he had the Rosanne couch the fact that they sold it
00:34:11
is wild right should have been Smithsonian or something and we asked if we could just use it you know like we'll
00:34:18
rent it whatever and he said no oh right TB Roseanne use it again which makes it
00:34:23
worth more again yeah he just said no like no amount of money will I will not
00:34:29
give this to you guys to shoot for the reboot of the show it was just Jesus I know like my strange addiction to it
00:34:35
like I buy stuff from TV shows and don't let anyone touch it I don't know do you do you steal wardrobe and stuff like
00:34:41
that you steal that's the real question because we had John Corbett on of Sex in the City and Big Greek anyway so at the
00:34:47
end of his shoot he just goes to the Wardrobe place and just take doesn't talk to anyone or ask anyone and he just
00:34:55
takes it all and he has it in box up in Northern California he has like hundreds of underwear and socks and
00:35:02
shoes and he took the Moose from Northern Exposure sitcom was a big hit in the he just took it he he doesn't ask
00:35:09
he just harvests sets and things am I gossip what's that yeah go ahead I heard
00:35:15
that Mariah Carey on some movie she did like she did a cameo in some Will Ferrell movie uh house money maybe it
00:35:21
was called and they gave her this like $300,000 necklace to wear and she just like wore it home I mean like just psycho like only like that I never do
00:35:29
that because I don't want someone to get fired or get in trouble but also they need to keep it in case you have to do re-shoot they would need it for
00:35:35
continuity as a producer and writer I know that's the other side of it yeah
00:35:40
side now it's turned into everyone sees what's happening in La Walgreens everyone just steals everything at Macy's so they just go into wardrobe and
00:35:47
go you can't do anything they just take all all their wardrobe and leave and they go don't chase them do you you must
00:35:53
have such iconic stuff that you just think is like trash in a storage un it but it's like worth a billion dollars on
00:36:01
eBay I do have um the church lady dress and glasses and a wig where techn was a
00:36:10
wig uh it's in it's in one of my homes closet can't remember which one
00:36:16
it's in West Hollywood right now um because I technically when I got on Saturday Night Live the rules changed
00:36:22
afterwards because I came in with the character that I own it so I just had that made for you know when I really
00:36:29
really am down and out I'll do corporate gigs as the church lady full regalia
00:36:35
coming out firing hard do you have it like in plastic or something like it's
00:36:40
it's the dress is hung up it looks fine and you know um can we do sorry can we
00:36:46
do like a Instagram the only way that anyone will socialize with their own friends these days is to monetize it
00:36:52
somehow so can I come to your house we'll shoot it don't worry um and we can
00:36:58
do like closet organizing of all your like iconic things that you have well that's that's my biggest I don't think
00:37:05
there's that much stuff I only have Dicky Roberts wardrobes the shorts
00:37:12
from grown-ups the shirt from Grumps bench warmer stuff and are you reading that off a laptop I'm thinking the wig
00:37:19
from joder is that on your posted note that like why did I look to the side that's
00:37:26
like you were reading reading it it looked like an assistant off the side was holding outfits for to show you I
00:37:33
think in the old days like Debbie Reynolds or an Miller or those uh Donald o' Conor musicals they would have so
00:37:40
much stuff you know they they sell it now and it's big Biz they go back and just get all the stuff from those prop
00:37:46
houses and they sell it all and it's makes it killing I like those like those
00:37:52
uh uh architectural digest House tours of those like super out of touch rich people being like yeah and we picked
00:37:57
this up in France and like CH like there have you seen the architectural digest tours seen a lot of shows like that yeah
00:38:04
it'd be fun to do some uh in your house these are the heads from Easter
00:38:11
Island um that one and then what is the other oh I did Punk recently and I oh
00:38:17
not Punk sorry I did Punk that was my first job I'm sorry I know punks um I did uh what is it cribs MTV Cribs okay
00:38:25
and I watched uh Martha Stewarts you've got to watch it it's amazing because she so clearly does
00:38:32
not want them in her house and she cannot she cannot pretend to be chill in the slightest and they're at her like
00:38:39
seventh home in Nantucket or something and uh you they just left it all in but she's like okay and so this is uh what I
00:38:45
got when I went into Italy excuse me sir can you back up off the wall please can you just back up the cie board down they left it all
00:38:52
in fantastic it's so funny like you're need to take your shoes off you're need to take your shoes off and this vase I actually got when I was in Tuscany and
00:38:59
I'm going to need you to put the footage on put the footage on please thanks like it's and they just left it all in it's
00:39:08
incredible do you want us to asking questions I was kind of I was kind of
00:39:13
curious about whether well there's things you've been asked a lot okay you could go like I grew up with Joan Rivers
00:39:19
Phyllis toon fields and then you come out and you're you're you're sort you're
00:39:25
you were a model at a department store so that was that helpful in the
00:39:30
beginning like you know you should or is it were your looks kind of problematic
00:39:36
or an asset in your mind that's so nice I mean martle martle model in a
00:39:41
department store is not we're not Naomi Campbell over here this was like King of
00:39:47
Prussia Mall Philadelphia yeah Tony Fields Foot Locker putting
00:39:54
shoes had one leg she had diabetes she came with one leg and she was really there were some very funny looking
00:40:01
comedians in in when I was growing up I used to I used to model the masks and Spencer's Gifts um I I was an informal
00:40:09
model it was called so you know the super annoying people that like offer you perfume when you walk into to a
00:40:15
department store like hey want a migraine I can help you with that or you know you're just like walking around in
00:40:21
a wedding dress like I was like 14 years old walking around in a wedding dress
00:40:27
like I did maternity at 15 years old I have they give you like a pillow that's
00:40:32
stra and I'm just like walking around um and asking people like you know hey do you want to go see some wedding dresses
00:40:38
on the third floor and you would just all to women that were going through a divorce like no one goes to a fancy
00:40:44
department store who has a happy marriage so I'm just like hey want to go see a wedding dress like as your marriage falls apart and it was actually
00:40:52
I was doing it for money and it actually I look back now I look back now and I'm
00:40:58
like uh you know was before I had boobs Hooters didn't take me and I realized
00:41:04
like so much of the ability to just talk to strangers came from that because I had to walk up to strangers that wanted
00:41:09
nothing to do with me that quite frankly wanted me to be invisible and were like trying to get away from me and I was like hey want to go and I'd have to
00:41:15
charm them and figure out a way to get them to listen to me so that I didn't get fired but I think that that did actually come in really handy also just
00:41:22
the ability to be alone a lot you know I mean I think something that a lot of people maybe don't know because you know
00:41:28
we only post the greatest hits on our Instagram of how fun our life is but being a comic you're just like alone a
00:41:33
lot you know we're in hotels alone we um oh yeah you know even when we're with a
00:41:39
lot of people we feel alone I spent 36 hours in a hotel in Houston a couple
00:41:44
weeks ago because it was so crazy rainy stormy outside I actually just walked
00:41:50
around the hallway but you go a little crazy just in a hotel room for a day and
00:41:55
a half plus everyone knows you so the second you go out people go hey but yeah I do a lot for that sorry sorry SPI no I
00:42:04
guess you're the guest no my podcast doesn't do as well as yours go ahead okay I'll check the numbers you're
00:42:09
probably G you're probably closer than you think you've done 5,000 of them it's hard to keep it balls near for a million
00:42:16
time you know it's you ultimately run out of I I would think at a certain
00:42:21
point you guys have did something really genius though you guys were like we're only going to interview SNL people and then we'll just do comedians like I
00:42:28
think for me I I I just didn't believe that a woman talking for two hours was a viable business um it just didn't seem
00:42:36
like that was something anyone wanted to hear um and so I think I always had like
00:42:42
just all kinds of different guests to see what worked you know and if we live here in Hollywood why not get Hollywood
00:42:48
guests so it's like Hillary Duff and Miranda costro like those numbers did super big but then some Comics that are
00:42:53
huge didn't do so well but it's just like hard to tell who's going to do well depends who your crowd is yeah yeah we
00:42:58
have people that surprisingly do well and surprisingly don't and uh but I also like the randomness of yours because you
00:43:05
can just see someone that's interesting like a Terminex guy and go I bet I could talk to this guy because something
00:43:11
interesting about this and and then you can have a big star so you can mix it all up and then just cover anything that
00:43:17
interests you we had a UFO guy on our other one we have one on video called Superfly we had a UFO guy on and then we
00:43:23
had this girl that was in that nixim cult and she friend there is my friend I
00:43:28
was in the second season of that show oh were you in a basement I got
00:43:34
obessed was Keith your guy is he a skateboarder do you have a are you branded are you branded no I would love
00:43:42
to be an a cult though I I I I just need someone to organize my life I did TR uh
00:43:48
try to get into Scientology when I first moved here and they rejected me right really reject swear swear to God okay
00:43:56
did they give you a a reason all I think I that's it they're like this [ __ ]
00:44:03
cannot keep a secret like it's so obvious that I'm I'm a squeaky wheel if nothing else I have such snitch energy I
00:44:10
went a girlfriend of mine Jennifer Jennifer goodin was my first friend in La she had just done a movie called Mona
00:44:17
Lisa Smile long time ago with Julia Roberts and remember when like someone got the number two or three lead in a
00:44:24
movie they were going to be a star there was this Mach they got the publicist and they got it was just so Scientology
00:44:31
would figure out who like the next person was going to be they like get it on the ground floor right so a famous
00:44:37
Scientologist invited her to brunch and it was at like a house it was just an address it wasn't like Shaky's Diner or
00:44:43
whatever you know and we pull up I go with her and it is a castle I think
00:44:48
people don't understand that that hate on Scientology it's in a castle and when you grow up poor and you see a [ __ ]
00:44:54
Castle you're like I need to live there I don't care take my plasma I don't care
00:45:00
fine and so I was like yes I'd like to live in this castle for free like I'm not allowed to take anti-depressants I
00:45:07
don't have healthare fine um and so we went in there was this like amazing brunch and also the reason Scientology
00:45:15
is so freaking enticing is the beginning of it isn't that weird it's like how to take control of your life and like write
00:45:22
thank you notes and like you know it's all like beginner AA stuff I'm in a 12ep program now so it's a lot of like it
00:45:27
works if you work it like don't you know make a permanent decision based on temporary feelings it's stuff that like
00:45:34
I'm sure the sto said this all much better but well Jerry Jerry but you know
00:45:40
but that's the Serenity Prayer is basically stoic um gra theity to accept the things I cannot change you know and
00:45:46
the wisdom to change the things that I can't so I'm in dude I'm like I get an apartment I get a job the brunch had
00:45:52
chocolate pudding like the guy from Lost was there the Jorge I'm like if this guy can get on a TV show like I'm this I'm
00:46:00
in and they just were not interested and I tried to go back and they were like we're good basically a cute young writer
00:46:07
actress from a great College I can't believe it what are they looking for they didn't want my after scale money
00:46:12
from MTV they wanted you know Studio Movie money you tell them you might do cribs
00:46:18
soon I what that said I I can get us on Cribs I know a guy over there yeah so I
00:46:24
did not get in I'm glad that I didn't get in I have some weird obsession with that I had to stop smoking weed uh like
00:46:31
a year and a half ago because I would get the first thing I would do when I smoke weed was um Google the Scientology
00:46:36
ships or try to figure out where they were and I scheduled a there's ship there ships yeah they have the they have
00:46:43
their Navy basically yeah what there's they're in international the sea where
00:46:49
there's no there's no rules it's it's crazier than the casinos with no police officers they're out there and they
00:46:55
operate under maritime law international waters there's no drinking age there's no age of consent none of it I scheduled
00:47:01
a zoom call with a maritime lawyer to talk about it how their carpets what do they look
00:47:07
like did you when you took DMT did you see sentient
00:47:12
entities Senti anties what's DMT I don't know if I've taken that one Dave did you
00:47:18
put that my drink one night yeah Roku um I have some in the car at Roku well what
00:47:25
what was your experience with psychedelics and do do do them anymore this is from this is from Toledo Ohio a
00:47:32
fan can you ask um uh uh okay I I haven't done DMT I
00:47:39
am good friends with Joe Rogan and everyone assumes that I like you know go to Peru every weekend and like puke up
00:47:44
like iasa I've done iasa once after uh my dad died um the first night I was
00:47:51
like such a comedian about it I was like this is [ __ ] it's all power of suggestion it was like some shirtless guy like dancing in in front of me it
00:47:57
was like the worst chip and's performance I've ever
00:48:02
yeah it was just Bobby Lee dancing it was a nightmare and so the
00:48:09
first one not a fan and then then and I puked which was like I like I did this
00:48:16
my entire High School I don't need to do bulimia again in my 30s like so I um I finally want to keep food down guys this
00:48:22
is not my brand at the moment uh and the next night I actually
00:48:27
had like just some clear thoughts I didn't see Gremlins or Angels or any of that or Grateful Dead bears or any of
00:48:33
that [ __ ] I kind of um I like to call it just updated my software on myself a little bit which was just kind of like I
00:48:40
didn't understand why when I got a TV show and sitcom or whatever it is I
00:48:46
didn't understand why people didn't like me or weren't were mad at me because in my mind it was like you know this is be
00:48:52
at this time I mean you had a show obviously Spade you know Dana you were on a show at the time but all my friends at were Comics were like kind of mad at
00:48:58
me or stop it was just a bizarre time and in my head I was like no no no this is great we're all going to get sitcoms
00:49:04
and you know the ships rise with everybody Rises together I don't know what the saying is I'm sure it's a stoic
00:49:09
fortune cookie saying but um I felt like all these people that I was friends with
00:49:15
and family with were like mad at me or something and then I realized like oh I have such a scarcity complex too we all
00:49:21
do that if that was happening to someone else I'm sure that I would be a little petulant and jealous and I was just able to stop being mad at people and just
00:49:28
accept like um the way it is how how I'm perceived sometimes which by the way uh
00:49:33
Spade gave me some of the best piece of advice between seasons of a sitcom when both of us were waiting to hear about
00:49:39
the fate of our sitcoms you called me remember and you went so just FYI bad news travel
00:49:45
slow that is true in this town everyone wants to give you good news and you gota
00:49:51
you got to chase down the bad news no one wants to be associated with it and uh made me realize like look Comics like
00:49:58
the reason I love Comics so much is because we're able to criticize everything together and see the world in the same way you know and then when I
00:50:04
became the subject of their criticism it was like ah [ __ ] H the thing that I you know my only love sprung from my only
00:50:11
hate kind of thing so I was able to just go like yeah this will be over soon and
00:50:17
someone else will you know be the next person and there it feels temporary that is part of stoicism that's the other
00:50:23
part is all your enemies all things everything is going to disappear
00:50:28
everything really fast it just keeps moving moving moving so I don't sit in it I I I never made a joke about you I
00:50:36
never would think to oh that's I was like I was like a punchline on SNL a couple times like stuff like that yeah
00:50:43
okay I think you get too famous you're you're showr running two shows it sort of puts you at the Forefront and then
00:50:51
but when you're like oh my God you're like SNL like this is like the dream and they're making fun of like that's not
00:50:57
how I wanted to be on SNL you know like Tina Fay making fun of me or that's not how I wanted to be on South Park like they made fun of me on South Park and uh
00:51:04
recently on big mouth and I'm like okay you know what fine I pay my bills doing comedy like you know people say it's the
00:51:11
highest form of flattery and then you like but it kind of isn't oh no it's I I had to go on Prozac
00:51:17
as a result um hard it's hard to hear that kind of [ __ ] but it's also it's like if I'm going to give it I have to
00:51:23
also be able to take it and you know but I had some good breakthroughs on that of like to be able to separate myself from
00:51:28
like the self that everyone else perceives I think when you're I mean you guys know more than anyone like it's
00:51:33
public figures do you ever have to go like that's David Spade that's Dana Carvey but I can like separate yeah and that was from the iasa
00:51:42
that got you into that frame of mind I just like wasn't mad at everyone for wanting what I had because I was like
00:51:48
I've wanted what other people had too you know and um it was such a scarcity complex at the time it was before social
00:51:53
media it was before podcast you know we're all now working together we're all just like a team at this point you know
00:51:59
we used to be like is the executive going to pick me or her and we had to be in competition and now it's like we're
00:52:04
all going to work together so it was just during that like icky time that helped me I've never done DMT I don't
00:52:09
think is that I think that's Molly uh I've done I did the ketamine I did ketamine micro doing uh with a doctor
00:52:17
not just like Street ketamine um during the pandemic my hair did was blue
00:52:23
shortly thereafter so um rave reviews um uh it helped me with some grief stuff it
00:52:30
helped with instant grief and forgiveness stuff um I I did it you know for like a couple months on and off
00:52:37
micro doing and it definitely helped a lot with grief um because I I couldn't
00:52:42
really cry before that um I was told don't cry Big Girls Don't Cry my mom you
00:52:48
know I'm not a doctor I don't like when people diagnose people um without a medical license but she was I was told
00:52:53
borderline personality disorder uh alcohol so she was very histrionic if you ever needed anything um you know if
00:53:00
I ever was upset she took it personally like she was a bad mom so I had to take on her feelings if I ever had any
00:53:06
feelings um so it really helped me like release a lot of old pain wow and now
00:53:13
you're a mom yeah let's can someone get a punch line in there um no you did good you can
00:53:19
talk we can talk normal sometimes oh no people love this humans out there listening right now oh yeah no that's
00:53:26
that's just The Heading of very interesting of someone doing psychedelics a little bit
00:53:31
and having you we had Neil Brennan on who's yeah you know I mean it changed his life his whole special was about how
00:53:38
it t took away his depression by en llarge and his anxiety between iasa and MDMA you know I guess I I didn't realize
00:53:46
that pain turns into anger and uh I had a lot of just pain uh
00:53:53
you know everyone's got their [ __ ] both my parents had Strokes when during the time time that I had the sitcoms and stuff which you know I think nobody
00:53:59
really knew who cares but both my parents had Strokes without health insurance and they were paralyzed basically from the neck down both of
00:54:05
them and were in beds for like 10 years so I just had to like it's fine I just had to like live in nursing homes and
00:54:11
like hospitals and icus and stuff so I was on the road I'd go from like show to hospital to show to hospital and I guess
00:54:16
I was just like I didn't realize till after they passed like how angry I was
00:54:21
that um about all that and I needed to cry instead of like you know because
00:54:27
when you're on stage sometimes anger comes out or what you're writing or you know it comes out when you least expect
00:54:33
it and no one I think angry comedy no one really wants to see um and it's also an awful feeling and I was writing from
00:54:39
the angle of that and and ketamine just helped it like I was in therapy I I don't
00:54:45
know if it works if you're not with a therapist who's walking you through it all but I did that plus EMDR plus I'm in
00:54:51
a 12ep program called allanon um because ultimately like acceptance is my hardest
00:54:56
I can't accept it I can't accept that that's the truth I can't accept that this is happening and I'm going to give myself cancer being angry about it um
00:55:05
and there was just like a surrender that came with it of like this is how it is
00:55:10
um I'm just gonna ride the horse in the direction it's going that's what Kine did for me I'm way less elegant than
00:55:16
Neil Brennan about all this stuff so just listen to The Neil Brennan episode for that I'm texting Jerry Seinfeld right
00:55:22
now yeah then listen to the Jerry one can we can we just talk for uh I don't I
00:55:27
want to go go ahead you talk because I we we met we we had we had a funny gig
00:55:33
together yes we did I didn't know if you'd bring this up or not well I thought it'd be fun because it's just um
00:55:39
I'll tell my side real quick and then I want hear from your point of view so there was a really rich guy I guess he's
00:55:45
95 he's got this gigantic mansion in Las Vegas and um he hired they hired me will
00:55:52
you come to a half hour standup for the party his wife was much younger they're very sweet people and so I show up and
00:55:59
it's like Scarface or something there's mermaids in the pool and jugglers and it's like a Fen ass circus and I'm in a
00:56:06
waiting room very again incredibly nice people did you say in a waiting room
00:56:12
well it was a part of another house it was a bedroom it was a giant yeah giant bedroom we're waiting for Whitney Okay
00:56:19
Whitney supposedly gonna she's going to go on and then I'm going to go on we don't we don't know where she is she and it was like she's getting here soon so
00:56:26
then you came in uh lots of energy very you and you can tell your side of it and
00:56:31
then you change very very quickly we go out it's a big Pavilion um
00:56:37
it's like 150 people you can't really hear and you're up there and I I see her
00:56:43
working I wanted to know what the vibe was so they said well put a mask on so
00:56:49
well sorry in the meantime Joe Rogan showed up sorry I missed that part he was with we were together yeah yeah yeah
00:56:55
yeah you came in first he was right after you so Joe Rogan's there so he's not wearing a mask no one's wearing a
00:57:00
mask this tail end of the pandemic whatever so I go I want to get up close so I can see how the vibe how Whitney's
00:57:07
doing I couldn't hear what was going on they' wear this mask so I'm going up through the crowd with it they go so
00:57:12
they won't recognize you you're a surprise that there right so I'm going through the crowd with the mask on and I
00:57:18
bump into Joe and he looks at me and he goes get that thing off your
00:57:24
face and I said I tried to explain well they told me cuz but anyway I thought
00:57:30
you did great you cuz it was such a rough thing that you I you were bringing people out of the audience on the stage
00:57:37
and interviewing them I thought you a great it went it was it was a rough gig but nice people okay now from your side
00:57:44
you're flying from Santa Barbara with Joe I flew okay so it was Andrew Schultz's wedding comedian and I was
00:57:52
with Lex fredman I'm just we're in the podcast space deep right now so Lex Freeman who also has a podcast I brought
00:57:59
him as my date and I was like okay I can make this wedding and then fly to I can
00:58:05
make both Vegas yeah yes and then Rogan and his wife were at the wedding and I was like ah we have to leave I have to
00:58:10
run to Vegas to go do this corporate G and Joe was like can I come with you and I which is I love when people get so
00:58:16
successful that like something like that is just like interesting to them it's like when rich people want to go camping
00:58:22
like I want to know what it feels like to be poor um and so he's like oh let me go see this corporate gang you know what
00:58:28
I mean and so he comes he's also just awesome and like he just loves stand up and you know oh yeah fun more people go
00:58:35
yeah and he's fascinated by like comedians like you know we do theaters
00:58:41
we do clubs like but a lot of our gigs are like we've never performed in this space before the you know circumstances
00:58:48
are wild there's no sound check for this a private party basically private gigs
00:58:53
are you're basically you're less on some level they're paying you well and respect you and they know you're
00:58:59
famous and they love you Bob Bob arum who's this fight promoter famous he was
00:59:04
in he was on a couch right up front vaping pot the whole time I was everyone was [ __ ] face like and I
00:59:13
just went full into like party clown mode like the darwinian like all right
00:59:19
you don't want it you don't want to do it this way you we're GNA do this the easy way or the hard way and usually a
00:59:26
gigs I think they usually just want to be the star and you're we fine you just
00:59:32
flirt with the men and you know lap dance with the women and you know I
00:59:37
remember going like I am such a huge fan of Dana Carvey the fact that he this is what he is seeing me do it's a performance is so embarrassing well I
00:59:45
was I felt the same way because Joe was so sweet big hugs we're you know having
00:59:51
a Love Fest and he's so excited to see me do he was so he was so excited you
00:59:56
were there he was geeking out and I'm like this is about as rough a situation
01:00:02
no one's fault you explained it brilliantly you have no chance to do anything so by the time you went off and
01:00:10
Joe was there I went up and it was the same kind of oh my God something that would get an Applause break is and
01:00:17
they're talking a lot of talking these young women are talking you know so I find I looked over because I was think
01:00:23
and thank God you guys had left you because get out right Joe Rogan
01:00:32
has told this story so I don't feel like I'm adding him but Lex Freeman who was one of those like high performer types you know all these men that just feel
01:00:38
like they need to like work out all day to prepare for like yeah like no one's drafting them but they're in training
01:00:44
like this new where guys for the big one yeah yeah in ice buckets and I I don't know what's going on like is there no
01:00:50
por left to watch I don't understand I don't know but all these men that are like like we to live forever but all
01:00:57
they do is work out like I don't know um like 4our work week but you like all you
01:01:02
do is work till 2 in the morning but whatever you have nine podcast I don't know this what's going on I don't know if it's an Aderall thing or what but um
01:01:10
Lex Freeman is like he's a scientist who has a podcast super like gets up at 5 am
01:01:16
to run and do burpees and he's always in ketosis or some [ __ ] I don't know and he uh had been on a fast he hadn't eaten
01:01:22
for like two days and had a bunch of whiskey and was like puky in the koi pond at this Billionaire's house oh he
01:01:30
was he was outside on the grounds puking in the koi pond remember there were well
01:01:35
oh there was so much stuff out there okay these big big fancy mansions are just like booby traps I don't know if
01:01:42
it's just like how you know it's illegal to for like billionaires to hunt poor people but maybe they just put the ring
01:01:47
camera on and put some fountains out that are flush with the patio because everyone was falling into the koi pond
01:01:53
excellent you would just you would just be like walking in the and just be like in a koi pond and um so I think he had
01:01:59
done that and then was maybe puking so I was like we need to get out of here let's have the check send me the venmo
01:02:05
and then we'll see I was happy that you guys got out of town fast like we had to
01:02:11
get back and then there was no plane to take us back drive back to Vegas it was like a it was a whole oh you had to get
01:02:17
a car to drive I remember you tell me that part I kind of love those corporate gigs though because I feel like all of
01:02:22
the maybe negative things that happened to us in our childhood can sublimate into something positive like I was
01:02:28
raised by like truculent distracted alcoholics so sometimes when I'm in that situation I'm like I know what to do
01:02:34
here like this is actually where I shine trying to get stay stay happy and stay
01:02:40
positive that's the first rule of a party you're there not to bring them down or blame it on them and I don't do
01:02:45
many parties uh the corporate dates are a little different in Vegas they have real sound and everything but a private
01:02:51
party it was just sort of a fluke I ended up there oh and Whitney Cummings is opening oh okay that's cool and then
01:02:56
Joe was there it was just one of those feny ass moments I had to like hang my head in shame and get out of there
01:03:01
because it's like I'm meeting one of my heroes and then I'm just like ah he's going to watch me just do like crowd work and like twerk on I I couldn't
01:03:08
really after the mask thing I got back I took the mask off I couldn't really hear
01:03:13
what was was saying because it was boomeranging the the ceiling of this Atrium was like 100 feet tall so high
01:03:20
ceilings kill things people don't know High ceilings are the worst but I thought there was something cool about
01:03:26
them picking me and you I was like oh like I like there was goodx they can have whoever they want you know
01:03:32
ultimately um but I was like this is so cool it made me feel um very good about myself and then I promptly so anyway so
01:03:40
sorry that yeah yeah I I was gonna say before I let Whitney go because we've taken over too long but when I do a
01:03:46
corporate gig you sometimes feel like roughing it because they are paying you so and they try to make it so nice for
01:03:52
you but sometimes if it's a tough you go hey this is actually you know like
01:03:59
Whitney if they don't have your carrot sticks you go you know what I don't care let's just go let's plow through it oh
01:04:04
can I do this really quick what's in your Rider will you read it verbatim no [ __ ] chancee uh three coca colas
01:04:13
pelino I I I didn't ride it I mean I've had people go we only have two
01:04:18
towels I know like what I know two towels sorry your ice bath we couldn't
01:04:25
get on the truck in Time
01:04:31
[Music] Whitney um I don't know has this gone well I can't tell you did great you're
01:04:37
one of my favorite guests you had you're [ __ ] hilarious hilarious you have five jokes in every sentence I feel like
01:04:43
Spade's already emailing like I feel like Spade is just over here on like doing Facebook updates like no I I'm
01:04:50
paid to do an hour so at 1 hour1 I just s out you should have somebody
01:04:56
listen to this and then type it all out just for how you wo things some of your word packages I don't know if used them
01:05:02
before but there was a lot of cool stuff in there I feel I don't know I feel I
01:05:07
feel like H okay are we reviewing it right now I don't know I feel like we
01:05:12
could have lost the skateboarding stuff maybe the Joe Dirt stuff didn't like I thought that was GNA like you know be a
01:05:18
little more fun a little more potent uh no I thought it was all good and all and
01:05:24
uh you did a great job and I guarantee you people will say that I think I love like the fact that we used to be judged
01:05:30
on like our work now it's just a personality audition I'm like how was my personality for the past hour this was a
01:05:36
good first date everyone will fall for you if people just uh human people out
01:05:42
like we are see your Netflix special like and you're just a civilian like if
01:05:47
I saw someone on Ed Sullivan or Carson they were like you know so they get to see us as just regular quas wounded
01:05:55
little puffy clowns with doing the best we can puffy and it's very interesting
01:06:00
just to hear you talk you know can you imagine sorry I know you have to go I know you're not getting paid anymore you
01:06:06
can hop off um I can you imagine if podcasting happen can you imagine like
01:06:12
Rodney Dangerfield having a podcast oh yeah can you imagine oh I tell you I tell you I was
01:06:18
an ugly kid I was an ugly kid I tell you when when I was born the doctor slapped my mother I tell you guest is like when
01:06:26
do I talk show uh Show Edge in the bag a little bit Yeah they all would have done
01:06:32
this it's a unique bizarre thing I think we're very fortunate to have it you can have it use it as how you like it it can
01:06:39
be just part of a very vast career it's on in the background people listen they
01:06:44
drive D scream at their kids we did we used to do radio but when
01:06:50
we did radio we came with bits yeah you had to be on more we were really like 6
01:06:55
a.m. and we were like doing this is just I every time I hang up I'm like was that so self-indulgent and boring no you're
01:07:03
to talk we we talk too much you got in there they like it like as if we just were at koi having dinner we really were
01:07:09
this is what we talk about I I last time I saw Whitney I walked her into her car and we just talked for a while there and
01:07:15
she's very normal very lovely and very not always doing jokes she's just a very
01:07:22
lovely person so I think on these it does come up a little bit because people like to see it and hear it but you're a
01:07:30
very normal nice person I saw you backstage at The Comedy Store and I wanted to be your best friend within 10
01:07:36
minutes because we were talking about some subject and you were just so completely oh yeah totally agree I can't
01:07:42
remember what we were talking about but yeah you just are interesting you're an interesting person you covered a lot in
01:07:49
this yeah maybe too much that's so Howard Stern feel like
01:07:54
we've said it all we said all there's nothing left to do there's nothing there's no stone no we had a million
01:08:00
things to talk to you about but un fortunately ran out of time I'll throw one out for you that you probably have
01:08:06
an opinion about on Instagram or whatever the mom is like the celebrity
01:08:11
mom she's like 52 or 53 she's with her daughters about 14 15 they're dressed
01:08:18
alike the mom looks just is fit she's filled up whatever she's done it's like
01:08:23
she's like a teenager with her teenageer here anyway no you see you see a lot of
01:08:28
those I'm not talking about one person see a lot of those yeah that's uh or or
01:08:34
or good for you whatever whatever I'm not particularly good at branding maybe I need to make some matching onesies for
01:08:40
me and my son and I might you know yeah there you go I'm not really bothered by any of it you know this is just comedy
01:08:47
father I to each his own well other people's opinion of me is none of my business I mean yeah it's kind of like
01:08:54
my mom Dr while I just like rolled around on the floor this generation is like matching with their kid I maybe we
01:09:00
need to go back to just being drunks and ignoring our children I don't I don't know it's all there's no real way to
01:09:05
move through the world anymore with any kind of dignity so it's just a matter of how to be the least
01:09:12
cringe you can possibly be and uh still survive I guess and people always have a
01:09:18
problem with it no matter what as long as we know that well that's why I I don't read comments about anything I do
01:09:23
because they just I are already know myself and if they criticize me I go of
01:09:30
course of course I sucked you know so yeah totally like we're Our Own Worst
01:09:35
critics like we I agree with you I mean I wouldn't be trying to get strangers approval if I liked myself so just if I
01:09:42
don't get your approval don't worry we're good all right ination we all have we all have problems big problems yes no
01:09:51
this is by the way I love this show I hope I I hope it was good going on shows I'm a fan of is always a little
01:09:57
nerve-wracking well I'll be a therapist for a second what what what makes you think it wasn't great don't don't start
01:10:04
again no no no sorry that's no it's more I think it's like I'm real friends with spade
01:10:11
and I'm getting to know you Dana so that's what's great yeah I'm like kind that's what's great about this yeah and
01:10:18
I think people tune in because they want to hear you guys you know I hope I didn't talk too much they hear us all the time no we don't this was great I
01:10:26
mean sometimes uh people are very shy and it's a little bit trying to get them to come out of their shell and so you
01:10:32
were just like Bam's great but um shut up trying to think all right thank you
01:10:38
Whitney um call us after and we will take an hour 15 out of it can I say one other
01:10:44
thing I love just to make everyone laugh about Spade my favorite thing is what Spade calls women's garments and makeup
01:10:50
and stuff it's my my obsessed one time he was telling me a story about this girl and he's like I didn't like
01:10:55
we got along great but it wasn't going to you know didn't seem like more was going to happen and then she went to the bathroom and she came out wearing a
01:11:04
Teddy no I think I said night gown didn't I or I call it Teddy well Teddy Teddy is funny night gown's not as funny
01:11:10
teddy what's an older term it's like it's like a it's like a sexy nighty or
01:11:16
something you made fun of me because you said what am I on my cheeks and I said Rouge or something and I didn't know
01:11:21
what the names of all the makeup Dana Dana for makeup like what goes here on a girl on the cheek oh um
01:11:34
Rouge that's blush that's BL Kylie Jenner rou Rouge kit what goes all over
01:11:40
the skin I don't know my wife does it alone I don't really see yeah thank you it's
01:11:48
you know I don't know but yeah it's um uh we can learn What's this called what
01:11:54
do you think it's called what's that called just smoothing out the makeup was
01:11:59
there official word for just rubbing your face it's all makeup it's color of your it's the color of your skin and it
01:12:06
goes all over your skin powder right uh Bas um B is that it Bas
01:12:16
and then you and then you put the eyelashes on and the lipstick and all this stuff and then you're ready to you
01:12:21
know you're ready to go walk the street make some money you know what I mean make a couple bucks hi I'm Bill Burr's
01:12:28
brother and I want to tell you we love Bill Burr we love everyone oh God that's so funny to me
01:12:34
okay Whitney I'll see you on the freeway okay love you guys thank you love you thanks for being on our show this has
01:12:41
been a presentation of Odyssey please follow subscribe leave a like a review
01:12:46
all the stuff smash that button whatever it is wherever you get your podcast fly on the wall is executive produced by
01:12:52
Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of and Heather Santoro the show's lead
01:12:57
producer is Greg Holzman