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[Music]
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surrounded by the rapids and torrents of
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niagara falls mark arthur proposes to
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his girlfriend of 10 years heather
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i didn't quite
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get it i didn't quite get what she saw
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in him
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kind of thought i don't know if he's
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quite
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good enough for our heather
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it's so sad she couldn't bloom and
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blossom with a man who
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celebrated her talent celebrated her for
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all her gifts
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in what would become a signature move
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mark uses emotional blackmail to ensure
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that heather will say yes
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at the top of the 170 foot high
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waterfall
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he stepped
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over the fence
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into quite a dangerous
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position
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almost it could be said gave the
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impression that
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if the answer wasn't the right one he
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might just
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jump
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he is a maths man into computers
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now seems like he's a bit of a strange
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character he's described as always being
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very very scruffy looking
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[Music]
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she is a born performer admired by
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fellow actors
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there were clear signs
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of controlling and jealous behavior
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that existed at that time
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but she was
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very loyal
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is this a volatile relationship
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destined for a dramatic final act
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[Music]
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when heather naylor left the rural isle
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of wight for kingston university in
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surrey she made an impression on fellow
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students
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she was very attractive she had a very
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kind of almost like an english rose sort
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of look but she was not
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i mean somebody with with those kind of
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looks you think would be kind of quite
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um quite proud of them or quite affected
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by them but heather was very unaffected
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by
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by her looks and that just simply added
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to her attraction
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heather nader was an absolutely lovely
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person she was
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one of these people that everybody spoke
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positively about energetic full of life
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always wanting to help people
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kind of life and soul of the party not
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not bombastic or loud but just just
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lovely
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i would remember heather as sunshine in
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human form
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[Music]
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it was at kingston in the 1980s that
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heather met fellow first year mark
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arthur he came from newcastle upon time
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whilst heather is quite outgoing and
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bubbly he is a mathematician so he's
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very accurate about things and he's not
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very extroverted but in relationships
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that can be a really nice balance
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because whilst he's quite methodical and
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analytical she's more outgoing and that
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means sociable and together that would
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have been a nice fit
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there may have been different but their
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relationship thrived and lasted beyond
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their student days
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after graduation they moved together to
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saboten in surrey not far from their old
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campus
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they were living together in brambly
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mansion's berrylands road
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it seemed from the outside that all was
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well and that they'd settled down into a
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domestic normal life
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it was whilst living in leafy serbian
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that heather gets a job in the
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reservations department at british
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airways
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but she also fulfills her lifelong
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passion for performance acting in her
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spare time
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david emmett was a tutor when heather
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joined his acting class at the questus
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theatre in eling london
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she was one of my best students and she
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had made tremendous progress and i was
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really very impressed with
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her work
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i'm trying to train actors to find the
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inner depths and the the true inner life
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of what they're doing and that's what i
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was able to bring through
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with heather and all what she was able
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to bring through
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fellow actors who starred in productions
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with heather remember her talents well
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she wasn't kind of
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swallowing around in a sort of you know
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look at me i'm playing this this amazing
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part
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that's not what she was like at all she
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was fun to be with it was it was a happy
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production
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she was sensitive
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she was fragile
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beautiful
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lovely lovely long
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long long slightly curly hair
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and sort of luminescence about her
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which which just was brilliant for the
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part
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and this vulnerability as well
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as the yet to be married heather nayla
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lit up the stage her fellow actors
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remember boyfriend mark as far from
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friendly at the after show parties
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i do have memories
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of other students in the group just
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socializing in the bar at the theater
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and sometimes saying you know why
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why can't you come to the party why
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why do you stay with him
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there were clear signs
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of controlling and jealous behavior
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that existed at that time
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but she was
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very loyal you sort of have this um sort
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of
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ideal of somebody who
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looks as
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as the way that heather looks and mark
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um
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was not that
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i'm not quite sure what what the what
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the kind of fit is there
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i kind of thought
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i don't know if he's quite
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good enough for our heather
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there was i don't know there was
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something about him
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you have these sort of instincts about
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people
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it was other students who were asking
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her
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why are you in this relationship
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shouldn't you
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do something about it and she would just
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smile and say no it's okay i've got it
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under control
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but did heather have it under control
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her friend anne remembers heather as
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being different when mark wasn't around
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as during the summer of 1989 when the
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actors went on tour to cornwall with
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chekhov's play the seagull
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i just remember lying on the beach with
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her
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just lying in the sun and relaxing and
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having a laugh
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she was much more sociable and
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much more part of the team
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which i hadn't felt quite before when
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she was here
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despite friends witnessing evidence of
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control and manipulation early on in
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their relationship heather wanted people
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to think that her home life in affluent
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serbian was comfortable
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i think when it comes down to this
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particular relationship there will have
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been lots of issues within the
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relationship but just heather didn't
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feel able to express that to the people
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around her a lot of people feel shame
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because it's not working it's so sad
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that
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that she couldn't bloom and blossom with
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a man who
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celebrated her talent celebrated her her
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for all her gifts
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jill barr is a domestic abuse expert who
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recognizes what heather's friends were
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in turn also recognising
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it's really important that when somebody
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you care about and your family or
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friends meet somebody new
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and you're getting a sense something's
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not right is to hold that hold on to it
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because we tend to find that most cases
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i've ever worked in a family member or a
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friend who said there was just something
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about him i didn't like
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something held heather back from leaving
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mark their life in surrey would carry on
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uninterrupted for over a decade until
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that is in 2003 when mark arranged a
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surprise trip to canada
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they take a holiday to canada and during
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a trip to niagara falls
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he proposes to her
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it was at niagara falls when mark was
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willing to do whatever it took to ensure
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that heather said yes
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[Music]
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he stepped
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over the fence
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into quite a dangerous
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position
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almost it could be said gave the
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impression that
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if the answer wasn't the right one he
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might just
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jump
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she told her friends that she was
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genuinely fearful that if she said no he
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would throw himself into the mist throw
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himself into the waters and give him
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where they are the likelihood that
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they'll ever see him again being very
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very slim
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the big question is what if she'd said
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no what is he trying to get across in
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that moment because whilst the power
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balance seems to be on her shoulders
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actually he's completely in control
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heather accepted her boyfriend's
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proposal but it is the act of the
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proposal itself that criminal barrister
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tony kent believes offers key insight
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into mark and heather's relationship at
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that time
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why would she have that reaction
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because it has to have happened before
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maybe not niagara falls maybe not the
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mist but he's got to have coerced her in
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that way before otherwise that wouldn't
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be her reaction who assumes that a no is
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an immediate suicide without reason to
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think that way
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alone with a new fiance how could
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heather naylor know that it was she who
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would be entering dangerous waters when
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agreeing to marry mark arthur
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when heather said yes i will marry you
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she may as well have signed a contract
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in blood saying that she would be with
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him forever
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it is that sense
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of of
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this very positive very beautiful very
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talented person coming up against
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somebody who is deeply damaged and who
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can't celebrate that
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and there are examples of him jumping
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out of a bus
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while it was still moving to hurt
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himself
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he uses it skills to locate a gps device
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that he could place onto heather without
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her knowing
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[Music]
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heather did not wait long before she
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married and began a family
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[Music]
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in 2004 they married
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it seemed from the outside that all was
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well and that they'd settled down into a
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domestic normal life
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by now heather had been promoted at
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british airways whilst mark was working
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as an i.t specialist
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now seems like he's a bit of a strange
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character he's described as always being
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very very scruffy looking
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whereas his wife was very well turned
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out seemed very smart had a very very
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good job with british airways as head of
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their uniform department
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he was a little bit anti-social
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um i don't think he had
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many friends
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um he was the type of person almost
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an opposite
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to heather
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the tactic mark employed to persuade
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heather to marry him was one that he
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employed many times in their marriage he
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would threaten to hurt himself if he
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ever lost control of heather
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that's how he deals with everything
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there are examples of him jumping out of
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a bus
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while it was still moving to hurt
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himself because that that's what he
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threatened he would do there's examples
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of him smashing his head off the side of
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the car and drawing blood
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because that's what he had told heather
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he would do if she did not do what he
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wanted
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when arthur started using the threats of
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self-harm the impact that would have had
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on heather very much would be of oh my
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gosh if i do leave which i want to
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because it's something telling me i need
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to leave what's he going to do and how i
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will feel bad about that and actually
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does he need help is he is he in need of
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is it something i'm doing that's making
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him think he wants to you know harm
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himself so effectively this this poor
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woman has got to the point in life
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where in order to stop her partner her
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husband from hurting himself she has to
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do whatever it is that he wants it's
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almost like dealing with a child
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unfortunately unlike with the child
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dealing with a grown-up
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man that way it's only going to get
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worse
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and it's only going to get more directed
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at you and it's only going to end in
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violence
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in 2009 the course of the couple's life
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fundamentally changed
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mark inherited a house 300 miles away in
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gosforth a suburb near newcastle upon
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tyne where he was born
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using his signature move he turned to
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emotional blackmail to convince heather
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to leave her friends from surrey behind
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[Music]
00:13:40
what happens in these relationships is
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that there is a cutting off of
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all the rest of the family
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in order to isolate the woman and make
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her feel more helpless and more
00:13:49
dependent and more emotionally dependent
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now the problem with that is that in
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leaving they also leave all of her
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friends and support network we know in
00:13:59
abusive relationships there tends to be
00:14:01
an escalation the more isolated an
00:14:03
individual is from the support networks
00:14:05
that they're used to so certainly this
00:14:07
could have been a touch point for a
00:14:09
change in their dynamics
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not only did heather have to leave her
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support network in surrey she left her
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job too
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heather takes redundancy from british
00:14:19
airways and they move north
00:14:21
and
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it's it's a house that needs some work
00:14:24
doing to it
00:14:26
now this was a big expensive really nice
00:14:29
house in a really nice area however it
00:14:32
was in dire need of some renovation
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and it seems to be this wasn't getting
00:14:37
done
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heather was living hundreds of miles
00:14:40
away from family and friends in a
00:14:43
dilapidated house in the hometown of her
00:14:46
controlling husband it was around then
00:14:48
that heather's elderly father came to
00:14:50
visit his daughter and to see his
00:14:52
grandchildren in the northeast
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her father visited and he commented that
00:14:58
she shouldn't be living like this this
00:15:00
house needed sorting
00:15:03
he writes a check for twenty thousand
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pound
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and gives it to heather to do the work
00:15:07
that needs to be done on the house
00:15:10
and lo and behold it's never done
00:15:13
mark funnels the money into new i.t
00:15:16
projects instead he was regularly
00:15:18
preoccupied with the it business that he
00:15:20
was trying to get off the ground he
00:15:22
would spend hours hidden away in the
00:15:24
study
00:15:26
he's obviously doing something that he's
00:15:29
become quite obsessed with
00:15:32
he's over invested in it because he's
00:15:34
certainly not invested in the house he's
00:15:36
not keeping that up together he's a
00:15:38
scruffy unkempt person he's not looking
00:15:41
after himself
00:15:43
heather's on her own
00:15:45
quite a lot of the time
00:15:47
we can see that there seems to be some
00:15:48
shifting in mark's behavior further into
00:15:51
the introversion stakes you know he
00:15:52
squirrels himself away
00:15:54
never really gets anywhere but he's very
00:15:56
important
00:15:58
preoccupied with the potential for his
00:16:00
enigmatic project mark worked in one
00:16:02
corner of their crumbling house whilst
00:16:05
heather looked for work that she could
00:16:06
fit around her family
00:16:08
by 2013 she'd taken on some work as a
00:16:11
teaching assistant and was generally
00:16:13
looking after the children
00:16:15
so once again we're introduced to the
00:16:16
fact that for heather family whether
00:16:19
it's working or otherwise is incredibly
00:16:21
important to her
00:16:22
i wonder whether there was any choice i
00:16:24
almost feel like that was the perfect
00:16:26
level of control where he got her to
00:16:29
leave her career to attend to the family
00:16:31
duties so that he could essentially
00:16:33
bypass them that's concerning
00:16:36
her life now revolved around a husband
00:16:38
who had threatened to harm himself
00:16:40
unless heather gave way to his needs but
00:16:42
mark didn't stand in the way of
00:16:44
heather's lifelong love of performance
00:16:46
heather had discovered a jazz cafe not
00:16:48
far from their home in newcastle
00:16:51
one of the big changes for her is she
00:16:52
starts singing in a jazz band
00:16:56
[Music]
00:16:58
we know she's trying to rediscover
00:17:00
reinvent even herself and during this
00:17:03
experience
00:17:04
obviously bolstering confidence taking
00:17:07
new opportunities
00:17:09
heather sought to express herself
00:17:11
creatively just as she had as a drama
00:17:13
student in cerberton years earlier
00:17:16
that she found that outlet later on was
00:17:18
wonderful um i'm so glad she did
00:17:21
um but it would have been it would have
00:17:23
been a lifesaver for her when you're in
00:17:25
a very difficult
00:17:27
relationship the sense of worth the
00:17:29
sense of you you are worthy of something
00:17:31
you are gifted you people do appreciate
00:17:33
you
00:17:34
you're not this
00:17:36
creature that's
00:17:37
been projected
00:17:39
onto you
00:17:40
just singing a jazz band was a a really
00:17:44
big step for her because she'd been
00:17:46
pushed down into this introverted
00:17:49
individual and now she was getting on a
00:17:51
stage and she was singing
00:17:53
and
00:17:54
it was a huge step
00:17:57
singing in the jazz band didn't just
00:17:58
bring heather a sense of confidence and
00:18:00
time away from mark it also meant new
00:18:03
friends
00:18:05
she meets paul who is a saxophonist in
00:18:07
this band they become good friends she's
00:18:10
able to have conversations with him talk
00:18:12
about her problems and her concerns
00:18:15
heather felt particularly comfortable
00:18:17
around the saxophonist paul she told him
00:18:19
about the troubles in her marriage
00:18:21
we know that heather sits down with paul
00:18:23
at some point and tells him that she
00:18:25
feels like she's walking on eggshells at
00:18:27
home so it's very very tension filled
00:18:29
and this means that we're also
00:18:31
potentially seeing a build in the
00:18:33
behaviors towards her by her husband
00:18:36
he was an ear he was someone to talk to
00:18:38
he was some support for her there was
00:18:41
nothing physical there was certainly
00:18:43
something growing emotionally but there
00:18:44
was nothing physical
00:18:47
to those who knew them both mark seemed
00:18:49
secure about heather's new social circle
00:18:51
at the jazz cafe
00:18:53
but really it had bothered him working
00:18:55
alone at home for hours on end he did
00:18:57
something about it believing that
00:18:59
heather could never find out
00:19:01
he used his i.t knowledge to put a
00:19:03
digital trail on his wife
00:19:07
he didn't confront it he didn't do any
00:19:09
of the things you expect
00:19:11
a normal well-adjusted human being to do
00:19:14
no
00:19:15
he used his ito skills to locate a gps
00:19:18
device that he could place onto heather
00:19:21
without her knowing so he would know
00:19:23
where she was at all times
00:19:25
what heather doesn't realize i don't
00:19:28
think is the extent to which she's being
00:19:30
monitored and tracked
00:19:32
she probably thinks
00:19:34
that
00:19:35
arthur
00:19:37
doesn't know where she's been going or
00:19:39
what she's been doing or what she's been
00:19:40
talking about the chances are that he
00:19:43
knew
00:19:43
absolutely everything
00:19:46
remember at this point she was being
00:19:48
tracked when she was only moving around
00:19:50
doing things innocently at this point on
00:19:52
the heather mark arthur matrimonial
00:19:54
timeline the device would have revealed
00:19:57
nothing that mark did not know
00:19:59
heather would go to the shops do the
00:20:01
school run sing in the jazz bar was this
00:20:04
a breach of trust that heather decided
00:20:07
was a step too far in her husband's
00:20:09
controlling behavior
00:20:11
the tracking device was almost a final
00:20:13
straw
00:20:14
heather found out about that she
00:20:16
discovered that she was being tracked
00:20:17
wherever she went stalking is a really
00:20:20
big threat and a big issue in domestic
00:20:22
abuse um in this case we could look what
00:20:25
does stalking mean but we can say
00:20:27
looking at what we've read in this case
00:20:30
the putting a tracker on her phone now
00:20:33
that can be covered up in so many
00:20:34
different ways and initially in this
00:20:37
case we know that it was around about
00:20:38
the time when it looked like the
00:20:39
marriage was going to end so it's that
00:20:42
losing control so if i put a tracker on
00:20:44
i know exactly where she's going and
00:20:45
indeed he did
00:20:49
mark tried to convince heather that it
00:20:50
was for her safety he even offered to
00:20:53
install the same tracking software on
00:20:55
his phone his possessiveness continued
00:20:58
for the first time in their relationship
00:21:00
heather told him she'd had enough
00:21:04
the rest continued at home the behaviour
00:21:06
continued at home hell continued at home
00:21:09
and
00:21:10
ultimately she had had enough
00:21:13
in her mind the relationship was over
00:21:16
and it was a question of how she would
00:21:17
bring it to an end
00:21:19
around this time it's thought that mark
00:21:21
discovered a message advice that heather
00:21:23
had received from a friend called
00:21:25
rebecca
00:21:27
heather's spoken to rebecca some months
00:21:29
after rebecca's i've said to her i think
00:21:31
you're an abusive relationship and she
00:21:32
said i can't i can't forget what you
00:21:34
said to me i can't get it out my head
00:21:37
and at that moment there's that
00:21:38
acceptance
00:21:40
i'm in an abusive relationship and my
00:21:42
friend's seen it so then it's the
00:21:44
thought of what what what do i need to
00:21:46
do now what what can i do now i think
00:21:49
when it got
00:21:51
confirmed for heather you know that
00:21:54
somebody else said no this is wrong that
00:21:57
almost gave her the confidence to think
00:22:01
i'm going to leave him
00:22:03
i'm going to do something about this
00:22:06
[Music]
00:22:07
given how he had proposed all those
00:22:09
years ago mark arthur's behavior at the
00:22:11
warning that she was leaving him may not
00:22:14
have surprised heather
00:22:15
so no threats to heather threats to
00:22:18
himself
00:22:20
perhaps heather was too frightened of
00:22:22
the consequences to follow through on
00:22:24
her threat to leave him or perhaps as a
00:22:26
catholic marriage meant too much to her
00:22:29
despite mark's increasingly dangerous
00:22:31
behavior heather didn't immediately give
00:22:34
up on her vows
00:22:35
instead she arranged to see a marriage
00:22:38
counselor
00:22:41
that's a brave step but it also means
00:22:44
that she's trying to figure out
00:22:45
responsibility she's trying to figure
00:22:47
out what part she's playing in this
00:22:48
situation heather said that she was
00:22:51
experiencing controlling and
00:22:52
manipulative behaviors from her husband
00:22:55
two really strong words controlling a
00:22:58
manipulative it's very difficult for
00:23:01
somebody heather to go in and actually
00:23:02
say
00:23:03
i'm in an abusive relationship people do
00:23:05
not go in and disclose i'm an abusive
00:23:07
relationship
00:23:08
[Music]
00:23:10
finally able to say the words that she
00:23:12
was living in an abusive manipulative
00:23:14
relationship was a major breakthrough
00:23:16
for heather mark could only watch as his
00:23:18
wife grew in her own self-confidence and
00:23:21
when he discovered that she had arranged
00:23:22
to see a solicitor on the gosford high
00:23:24
street he panicked
00:23:26
on one occasion heather um and her
00:23:28
children were going to solicitors and at
00:23:30
this point it seems she'd made the
00:23:32
intent to end the marriage in the
00:23:34
relationship massive trigger for
00:23:36
somebody like arthur
00:23:37
we know that when that happens the
00:23:40
escalation
00:23:41
of violence and the increase in
00:23:43
frequency of incidents increases and we
00:23:46
have a what appears to be a very sort of
00:23:49
big display
00:23:51
in front of his children of banging his
00:23:54
head on a car so much that the bonnet
00:23:56
was dented and the children were present
00:24:00
once again mark's method of persuasion
00:24:02
forced heather to stand down she
00:24:04
cancelled the trip to discuss divorce
00:24:06
with the solicitor but had her threat to
00:24:08
leave him created a moment of reflection
00:24:10
for mark
00:24:12
or had it increased the chances that one
00:24:14
day his self-harm would turn to harming
00:24:17
others
00:24:18
what we as professionals know
00:24:20
about threats to
00:24:23
kill yourself is that that is actually a
00:24:26
veiled homicide threat
00:24:29
so if somebody is saying if you leave me
00:24:32
i will kill myself what they're actually
00:24:35
saying is
00:24:36
i will kill myself but i'm taking you
00:24:39
with me
00:24:42
he was saying to her be careful please
00:24:45
be careful
00:24:46
and
00:24:48
heather didn't seem to think that there
00:24:50
was a danger
00:25:03
friends and family became increasingly
00:25:05
worried for heather in easter she took
00:25:08
her children to visit her father on the
00:25:10
isle of wight
00:25:14
she visited her dad with the children
00:25:15
eastern again and he formed the opinion
00:25:18
that she wasn't happy
00:25:21
but to ask that question of heather
00:25:25
still at that stage
00:25:27
to say no i'm not happy and i'm thinking
00:25:29
or leaving
00:25:30
it's probably a step too far at that at
00:25:32
that time
00:25:34
now the father is clearly not happy
00:25:36
about what he's hearing
00:25:40
there's some real concern there
00:25:42
but it's not always simple for victims
00:25:44
of domestic abuse to walk away even when
00:25:47
family members offer their support
00:25:49
mark's use of self-harm as a threat
00:25:51
continued
00:25:52
one of the high-risk indicators which we
00:25:55
would use to predict future violence or
00:25:57
homicide is actually the perpetrator's
00:26:00
threat of self-harm
00:26:02
some will actually self-harm in front of
00:26:05
their partner because that very quickly
00:26:07
changes the dynamic of that situation
00:26:10
and in this case we've heard that mark
00:26:12
did use self-harm and threats of
00:26:14
self-harm several times throughout the
00:26:16
relationship
00:26:20
heather's only release was with a few
00:26:22
friends like paul the saxophonist in the
00:26:24
jazz band
00:26:26
heather spoke to paul and she used the
00:26:27
phrase i'm walking on eggshells this
00:26:30
phrase is used so often by women in
00:26:32
abusive relationships and it's a
00:26:34
reflection of perhaps what's going on at
00:26:35
home or in the relationship very much
00:26:38
around i don't know what moody's going
00:26:40
to be in i i do not know which
00:26:43
author i'm going to have from one minute
00:26:45
to the next because part of the power
00:26:47
and control dynamic and the coercive
00:26:49
control is for different behaviors to be
00:26:52
going on all the time
00:26:53
this means that we're also potentially
00:26:55
seeing a build in the behaviors towards
00:26:57
her by her husband but as opposed to
00:27:00
this making her afraid it makes her want
00:27:03
to transition she's decided she wants to
00:27:05
be with paul
00:27:07
paul and heather shared a love of music
00:27:09
he too was creative
00:27:11
heather was beginning to fall for him
00:27:14
inevitably this relationship continued
00:27:16
to develop
00:27:17
and after one particular evening on the
00:27:20
13th of april a jazz event their
00:27:22
relationship went to the next level
00:27:24
there was some emotional connection
00:27:26
before that but it was only at that
00:27:27
point that it became sexual that it
00:27:28
became romantic
00:27:33
that quickly grew she quickly realized
00:27:35
she was in love with this man
00:27:37
she quickly realized that this was the
00:27:39
relationship the kind of relationship
00:27:41
she should have had all along
00:27:43
sometimes it takes meeting another love
00:27:45
interest
00:27:46
to suddenly recognize how different a
00:27:49
good relationship is
00:27:51
paul is that relationship
00:27:55
paul becomes her confidant but the more
00:27:57
she confides in him the more concerned
00:28:00
he becomes about her husband mark's
00:28:02
behavior
00:28:04
he didn't know the man he never met the
00:28:06
man but he seemed to understand the man
00:28:08
more than the woman that had spent all
00:28:10
that time with him because he was saying
00:28:12
to her be careful please be careful
00:28:15
and
00:28:17
heather didn't seem to think that there
00:28:18
was a danger
00:28:20
[Music]
00:28:23
heather had threatened to leave mark
00:28:24
before but her relationship with paul
00:28:27
gave her confidence
00:28:28
after years of unhappiness intimidation
00:28:30
and threats was mark finally losing
00:28:33
control
00:28:34
[Music]
00:28:36
the coercion of i'll hurt myself if you
00:28:38
don't do this that's no longer working
00:28:41
the old affection the the the the going
00:28:45
back to where they started you know the
00:28:47
memories that all of these connections
00:28:49
that's not working anymore
00:28:52
but
00:28:52
somehow in his mind he has convinced
00:28:55
himself that this is salvageable
00:28:58
somehow in his mind he's convinced
00:29:00
himself that the the horrible
00:29:02
life that he's given this poor woman
00:29:04
since since they met in university is
00:29:07
going to still be preferable to the
00:29:09
the fresh healthy life that she could
00:29:12
now live he's obviously been having
00:29:14
conversations with heather about her
00:29:17
being unhappy because he says
00:29:21
let's have this one last chance this
00:29:24
last day out together as a family and
00:29:27
let's just see
00:29:29
if it can
00:29:31
work
00:29:33
this is what i would call
00:29:35
a change in thinking
00:29:37
or last chance thinking it's a stage
00:29:39
that's really quite dangerous
00:29:45
april 27 2013 and heather agreed to go
00:29:49
with mark for what might be their last
00:29:51
day out as a family
00:29:52
the other man in her life paul had
00:29:55
concerns
00:29:57
paul reports that she said to him that
00:29:59
she would be
00:30:00
in public all the time and that she
00:30:02
wouldn't be in any great danger but this
00:30:04
does show that she was in physical fear
00:30:07
of arthur which is a real worry at this
00:30:10
time
00:30:10
heather's a nice person
00:30:13
she probably feels quite sorry for
00:30:16
arthur so she agrees
00:30:18
to this last family day out because
00:30:21
to resist that would probably cause a
00:30:23
lot more trouble which is is what she's
00:30:26
trying to avoid
00:30:29
a final day out with a manipulative
00:30:31
husband prone to bouts of emotional
00:30:33
blackmail understandably put fear into
00:30:36
others close to heather
00:30:38
paul was sending messages throughout the
00:30:40
day
00:30:41
warning heather to be careful it's
00:30:42
almost as if paul knew what mark was
00:30:45
capable of
00:30:46
despite the concerns the arthur family
00:30:48
last day out passed without incident
00:30:51
everything
00:30:53
goes okay without too much drama or
00:30:56
anything but she does
00:30:58
say that he's been
00:31:01
playing happy families like making a
00:31:03
pretense perhaps making an effort
00:31:05
finally making an effort to to be some
00:31:07
kind of husband but she's not interested
00:31:10
she is not interested at this point it's
00:31:12
too late
00:31:14
and he knows that now
00:31:17
[Applause]
00:31:20
she knew that he still wasn't accepting
00:31:23
that the relationship was over even
00:31:24
though she told him it's one last day
00:31:26
out and she says to paul he's pretending
00:31:29
it being the family thing
00:31:31
and we'll have to endure his fury again
00:31:34
and it's only when the day out ends
00:31:37
and a day out does not end in the way he
00:31:39
expects it to
00:31:40
that he finally faces reality
00:31:43
and unfortunately reality for him is 100
00:31:47
unacceptable
00:31:50
heather told mark that despite the
00:31:52
happiness of the day she had not changed
00:31:54
her mind
00:31:55
the next morning on monday heather
00:31:57
promised to accompany mark to a gp's
00:31:59
appointment he said he was worried that
00:32:01
he had cancer for jane month and smith
00:32:04
and all to predictable attempted
00:32:06
manipulation
00:32:08
he'd pulled another of these controlling
00:32:10
tactics out of his bag of tricks and
00:32:13
he'd
00:32:14
been saying to heather i think i've got
00:32:16
cancer
00:32:18
with the inevitable kind of
00:32:20
potential for his time to be limited for
00:32:23
him to need looking after
00:32:25
for her to feel sorry for him
00:32:27
and she did
00:32:29
so she did go back
00:32:31
because she was going to go to the
00:32:32
doctor's appointment with him what
00:32:34
better way to keep somebody is to
00:32:37
manipulate them into believing you've
00:32:39
got cancer
00:32:41
difficult for somebody then to leave if
00:32:44
they believe you're actually going to be
00:32:45
seriously ill
00:32:47
heather drops her children at school
00:32:49
before returning to mark
00:32:52
but while she's out
00:32:53
she has a text conversation with her
00:32:55
friend who who says to her don't go back
00:32:58
don't go back
00:33:00
everybody knows that arthur is
00:33:03
an unstable person and they're worried
00:33:05
for heather
00:33:07
but heather did go home
00:33:09
she returns via the shop where she buys
00:33:11
some strawberries and pancakes and then
00:33:13
she returns home
00:33:16
settling down to breakfast before
00:33:18
accompanying her husband to his doctor's
00:33:19
appointment mark and heather's
00:33:21
conversation began
00:33:23
was she building up to breaking the news
00:33:25
that her decision to leave was final
00:33:27
whatever was said
00:33:29
mark was about to hear the news that
00:33:31
would devastate him
00:33:33
i do suspect that mark will have been
00:33:36
asking her to stay there'll have
00:33:37
probably been some begging he'll
00:33:40
probably have threatened himself and
00:33:41
there will been all of this almost
00:33:43
crescendo to a point where she needs to
00:33:46
give him this firm analysis i am leaving
00:33:48
you there is no going back
00:33:54
and i think that's at that point she
00:33:56
decides to bring in the fact that she's
00:33:58
having the affair to give him a solid
00:34:00
understanding that there is no future in
00:34:01
that relationship
00:34:02
[Music]
00:34:04
they started arguing
00:34:07
and
00:34:09
heather
00:34:10
told him
00:34:12
that she had been seeing somebody else
00:34:15
and
00:34:16
that was
00:34:17
heather lighting the touch paper
00:34:21
but i don't think heather
00:34:24
suspected that
00:34:25
arthur
00:34:27
very likely already knew but heather's
00:34:30
saying it
00:34:32
challenging him in that way
00:34:34
showed him
00:34:37
she's gone
00:34:38
there's no going back it's inevitable
00:34:46
it's the most dangerous time
00:34:48
just before or just after leaving one of
00:34:51
those awful controlling relationships
00:35:01
[Music]
00:35:05
until now mark had threatened and used
00:35:07
self-harm as a means to make heather
00:35:08
stay with him but that morning he went
00:35:11
in a different direction
00:35:12
[Music]
00:35:14
he loses it he snaps he grabs a kitchen
00:35:18
knife
00:35:19
and he stabs her
00:35:22
mark reacted by stabbing heather to
00:35:24
death for the revelation that she was
00:35:26
leaving him for another man
00:35:29
the question is why would she have
00:35:31
expected that
00:35:33
how could she have expected that
00:35:36
he takes a scarf he ties it around her
00:35:38
neck and knots it tightly
00:35:41
after 30 years in which mark arthur
00:35:43
dominated controlled and abused his wife
00:35:46
the realization that she was leaving him
00:35:49
made him homicidal
00:35:51
in that moment when he killed her he was
00:35:53
mad as hell but it was just that he
00:35:56
wanted to make sure that absolutely
00:35:57
under no circumstances would she ever
00:36:00
leave him if he couldn't have her
00:36:02
no one's going to have her and let's be
00:36:03
honest we have a direct insight because
00:36:05
if it was really about him harming
00:36:06
himself he had a knife and he was there
00:36:09
and he could have absolutely used it
00:36:10
against himself
00:36:13
after killing heather he ran to the
00:36:15
local gp surgery covered in blood
00:36:18
at about 11 o'clock he rushes to the
00:36:20
doctors
00:36:22
dressed in his underwear
00:36:23
barges in and tells them what he's done
00:36:26
clearly someone at the doctor's calls
00:36:28
the police and mark waits there for them
00:36:31
police arrive shortly afterwards and
00:36:33
he's arrested
00:36:35
when officers arrive at the home they
00:36:37
find heather dead in his study in a pool
00:36:40
of blood next to his desk
00:36:43
they remove the scarf that's round her
00:36:45
neck and they find the knife
00:36:48
heather knew arthur was dangerous she
00:36:51
knew he was controlling she knew he
00:36:54
could be violent i don't think she
00:36:56
suspected for a minute that he was a
00:36:58
killer
00:36:59
i think she knew the fury was coming and
00:37:02
she knew the drama was coming
00:37:04
but she
00:37:06
she respected him enough to just
00:37:08
tell him the truth
00:37:13
in police interviews mark told police
00:37:15
that the murder of his wife heather was
00:37:17
the result of a rage of anger and
00:37:19
jealousy at the news that he was having
00:37:21
an affair
00:37:22
he claimed manslaughter not murder which
00:37:25
would carry a lighter sentence
00:37:28
he admitted that there had been an
00:37:29
argument he admitted grabbing her
00:37:32
but he cannot remember stabbing her he's
00:37:34
very very vague he sort of says that he
00:37:36
came to and realized that there was a
00:37:38
knife sticking in her
00:37:40
as police delved deeper into mark and
00:37:42
heather's relationship would they
00:37:44
discover what heather had suffered at
00:37:46
his hands over many years
00:37:49
if we're talking about domestic abuse
00:37:50
coercive control the two key themes that
00:37:52
we see time and time again and in this
00:37:54
case is about somebody's power and
00:37:56
control over some dias
00:37:58
um one of the high risk indicators which
00:38:01
we would use to predict future violence
00:38:03
or homicide is actually the
00:38:05
perpetrator's threat of self-harm
00:38:08
as police prepared their case against
00:38:10
the 50-year-old mark arthur friends of
00:38:13
heathers were coming to terms with the
00:38:14
news
00:38:16
you can't believe it it would happen to
00:38:17
anyone but um certainly not to such a
00:38:20
life
00:38:21
force as heather
00:38:24
i wouldn't have predicted
00:38:26
um and certainly wouldn't have wanted to
00:38:28
imagine heather in
00:38:30
a relationship that was abusive or
00:38:33
controlling in that way simon told me i
00:38:35
remember exactly where i was i was
00:38:37
sitting i remember the seat i was
00:38:39
sitting in in the bar
00:38:40
when he told me about it and i was
00:38:43
absolutely shell-shocked i just remember
00:38:45
the shock
00:38:47
and then
00:38:48
looking online and finding the story
00:38:50
which
00:38:51
was obviously very distressing
00:38:54
in hindsight those closest to heather
00:38:56
had always worried that something just
00:38:58
wasn't right about mark arthur
00:39:01
she's got no side to her she's very
00:39:03
unaffected
00:39:05
my instinct about mark was
00:39:07
not the opposite of that but somebody
00:39:10
that you thought um i'm not quite sure
00:39:12
what your agenda is but um as i say that
00:39:15
that might be with the benefit of
00:39:18
of hindsight but um
00:39:20
i don't i don't remember having a a
00:39:22
particularly favorable impression of him
00:39:26
heather's dad mentioned there was
00:39:28
something about arthur he just didn't
00:39:29
like he gave lots of examples but early
00:39:32
on he did something about him he didn't
00:39:34
like and it's about
00:39:36
why that was what what was it that he
00:39:38
picked up what was it that he saw that
00:39:40
he didn't like and what he could then do
00:39:43
with that
00:39:47
it became clear to some that mark's
00:39:50
proposal at niagara falls was a red flag
00:39:52
for the relationship
00:39:54
so when i'll ask somebody about what's
00:39:56
what was your first red flag quite often
00:39:58
it would be something around that well
00:40:00
when he proposed or when he asked me to
00:40:02
move in there was always a but there was
00:40:04
always a nagging doubt there was just
00:40:05
something
00:40:06
it wasn't quite the way they thought it
00:40:08
would be there was always a nuance that
00:40:10
if i maybe didn't say yes then actually
00:40:13
things would change change quite quickly
00:40:16
[Music]
00:40:20
in the autumn of 2013 the trial of mark
00:40:23
arthur began at newcastle crown court he
00:40:26
refused to admit to murder and admitted
00:40:28
instead to manslaughter in court
00:40:32
arthur said that
00:40:33
he killed heather
00:40:35
in a moment of passion you know the red
00:40:38
mist came down didn't know what i was
00:40:41
doing it was completely spontaneous
00:40:44
crime of passion
00:40:47
but i don't buy that
00:40:49
because looking at the way this whole
00:40:52
thing played out with the last family
00:40:54
day
00:40:54
and the threats to kill himself and the
00:40:58
dramas and the control and the stalking
00:41:01
this was always going
00:41:03
somewhere
00:41:04
dangerous
00:41:07
he said he had tunnel vision he vaguely
00:41:09
remembered things he remembered her
00:41:11
basically walking onto the knife it
00:41:13
seemed to be he was just trying to fudge
00:41:15
it make it look like he had completely
00:41:17
lost all sense of his own functions
00:41:20
and this happened in a momentary loss of
00:41:22
control
00:41:24
jurors returned their verdict against
00:41:25
mark in february 2014.
00:41:29
[Music]
00:41:31
he was convicted of murder and he was
00:41:33
sentenced to 18 years imprisonment
00:41:36
we always say if you want to leave a
00:41:39
violent and controlling partner do not
00:41:41
tell him you need to have a safety plan
00:41:42
you need to engage professionals you
00:41:44
need to speak to
00:41:46
support agencies who are local or
00:41:48
national who will give you a safety plan
00:41:53
there's nothing here they could have
00:41:54
done to prevented her murder
00:41:56
the only thing she could have done is
00:41:57
not to have met arthur in the first
00:41:59
place
00:42:11
[Music]
00:42:38
[Applause]
00:42:40
[Music]
00:43:02
you
