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I've got a difficult conversation I want
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to have with someone. And
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a lot of people struggle with this. So
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to make things simple, there are four
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things that you can do because we all
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have those conversations. We have a
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supervisor who we feel is overlooking us
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in a promotion. Maybe our spouse we got
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in a fight with, your friend who's
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betrayed us. They're cloaked in so much
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emotion or so much tension that you
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don't know how to handle that. But
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there's also three things that you
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should stop doing, such as stop telling
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people you understand.
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Telling them you understand.
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Yep. Why?
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This is what we're going to talk about.
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For over 30 years, former Secret Service
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agent Desmond O'Neal has used
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sciencebacked interrogation techniques
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against some of the world's biggest
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liars.
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When it comes to being able to
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communicate with somebody, the victory
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lies in the little things that you do.
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So, you need to have a plan. P is for
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purpose. So, why are you there? What is
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the goal of the conversation? Because
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especially in emotional conversations,
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it becomes really easy to get
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distracted. And if you lose your cool,
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you lose control. And then there's the A
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is ask. Because most of us think we know
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what our partner is thinking, right? But
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the research shows we're only accurate
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about 40% of the time. And if that
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conversation gets emotional, that 40%
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can go down as low as 15. It's called
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empathy accuracy. And so the power of
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asking questions is important. But when
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you fail to do that, you are going to
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have a really hard time having a deep
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honest relationship with somebody. And
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then there's the L and the N, which most
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people do wrong, and we'll go into that.
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And then what about body language? Can
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you tell if I'm being deceptive by how
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much I look at someone?
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So there's a few indicators of somebody
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telling the truth, and we'll talk about
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them.
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And what about leadership principles?
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So, I learned the true essence of
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leadership when I was on a SWAT team.
