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In order to be successful, you have to be able to communicate your ideas, who you are, and your point of view. And so,
00:00:06
I use three steps in every communication that can be used for getting a promotion, laying people off. It could
00:00:11
be used to persuading your significant other, "Where are you going to go to dinner that night?" And it allowed me to go from being in a room where I couldn't
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have a conversation with people and crippled with anxiety and fear to co-founding two nine-figure businesses,
00:00:22
helping over 15,000 business owners scale their organizations, as well as helping people unpack the strategies
00:00:28
that the top 1% of people use to gain wealth and success that are different than 99% of people who can't create the
00:00:34
wealth that they've always wanted. Like they prioritize being respected over being liked. And where else do people go wrong here?
00:00:40
Well, ultimately this comes down to the character of the person. If the person isn't somebody who wants to win, who
00:00:46
doesn't sacrifice, you cannot get to where you want to go. Now, of course, you could try to hack success, but if
00:00:52
you did it by putting in the effort, you don't have this anxiety that it's all going to come crashing down because you
00:00:58
know that you could redo it and it's never burnoutinducing. That's a misconception about hard work. You're
00:01:03
not a candle. You can't burn out. What about passive income? Because the idea that you can make income and do is unbelievably compelling.
00:01:09
Well, before you have a million dollars, don't even think about passive income. Instead, use your calendar as a representation of what you find to be
00:01:15
important with the goals that you have every single day. But if someone at home isn't quite clear on their goals, what should they be doing? I have a three-step methodology for goal
00:01:22
setting that I have rolled out to thousands of people and it's called PPF and it's transformed my life. So, the
00:01:29
first is I see messages all the time in the comment section that some of you didn't
00:01:34
realize you didn't subscribe. So, if you could do me a favor and double check if you're a subscriber to this channel, that would be tremendously appreciated.
00:01:40
It's the simple, it's the free thing that anybody that watches this show frequently can do to help us here to
00:01:45
keep everything going in this show in the trajectory it's on. So, please do double check if you've subscribed and uh
00:01:50
thank you so much because in a strange way you are you're part of our history and you're on this journey with us and I
00:01:56
appreciate you for that. So, yeah, thank you
00:02:01
Natalie. For my viewers that have just clicked on this conversation, what is the reason that you think it's important
00:02:07
for them to stay and listen to what we're going to talk about today? and all of the things that you've spent your career understanding.
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If you are somebody who has really struggled with working hard and putting
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in the effort and the energy, but you don't actually have wealth to show for
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it. This conversation is important because wealth should come from hard
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work on the right set of problems. And so you have to ask yourself the question, what problems do I work on
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every single day? And whether you're a team member in an organization, whether you're a leader in an organization, a
00:02:42
business owner in an organization, you should be able to objectively point at my work here generated this result. And
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so if I'm upset with this result, meaning I haven't made the wealth, I haven't created the income that I want,
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it would make sense that where you're spending your time and the problems that you're solving are not tied to your actual goal of increasing your wealth.
00:03:06
And when it comes to wealth, I do think that we are in a wealth crisis across the globe. I think that there is so much
00:03:13
confusion and misunderstanding about financial literacy and what's actually happening with who is making money, how
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they're making money, what they're spending their time on. And so this conversation I'm very much looking
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forward to unpacking what are the strategies that people use the 1% for
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their time, for their investments, for their skills, for their mindset that are
00:03:36
just different than 99% of people who can't seem to get ahead and create the
00:03:42
wealth that they've always wanted. And so as you sit here now, what is your business? What's the scale of the
00:03:48
business? And uh what does it do? Yeah, over the last six years, I co-founded
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two businesses that are both nine figures today. One is a management
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consulting investment firm. It's called Cardone Ventures, and we help small business owners grow and scale their
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organizations. So, I work with business owners on a daily basis who will be doing $3 million in annual revenue. They
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want to know, how do I become one of the fewer that is able to have a $5 million
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a year business or a $10 million a year business? because they really realized that $3 million a year doesn't actually create financial security. And that
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business was started in 2019. And then our second business, 10X Health, we
00:04:30
purchased a health business back in 2023 and today is helping people all over the
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world and it's a nine figure business. So you're on that first business. How many business owners have you worked
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with? Total business owners that have come through our programs would be over 15,000. what what are the range of
00:04:49
things you're helping them with? Great question. So, there's education. Yeah. There's consulting, there's
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services, and there's investing. So, think of us like the McKenzie for small businesses. We reverse engineer their
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current market, what they're doing, what their products, services, offerings are, and we give back to them either in the
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form of actual services where we will do their marketing for them, we will recruit people for them, we will do their bookkeeping for them. But then we
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also have a massive events component of our business where we train business owners on how to hire, how to recruit
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themselves. So they don't need to hire us to do it. I actually prefer it when people don't hire us to do this because
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I think it's so important for business owners and the leaders inside those teams to actually get the competence in
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that skill. So if you use Yeah. have hiring or their books. If if business
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owners don't understand how to read a P&L and the importance of a balance sheet, they're always going to abdicate
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that work to somebody else. And at some point, that is not going to work for
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them any longer because I don't actually know what that skill is. So, I'm trusting that Steven can come into my
00:05:55
business. Steven seems great. I know him from church. I'm just going to let Stephen do this. But, I don't know that Steven only knows how to do this to a $3
00:06:01
million business. And I need it to be a $10 million business. there's no education system that exists for
00:06:06
business owners to help them identify that today. So it was a 2019 you started this business.
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So if I jumped back to 2019, what is the difference like fundamental
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difference in the principles of how to be successful in business that you know now that you wouldn't have known then?
00:06:25
Like what are the glaring principles? I often think that like the further you go down any path, it becomes more and more clear what the
00:06:30
like fundamental rules of the game are. And at the very beginning, those are just hypotheses. So, what are like the
00:06:36
fundamental things you've learned about what differentiates those 15,000 people that you've interfaced with that are business owners um makes some of them
00:06:44
successful and the others unsuccessful? I ultimately think that this comes down to the character of the person that is
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doing the business. Because if you look at people that you can partner with in
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business, it is incredibly challenging to make something truly successful. Even
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if it's the best business model in the world, you figured out marketing, you figured out operations, you can scale
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it. If the person is a piece of [ __ ] and if the person is not somebody who is ethical and is somebody who's compliant
00:07:17
and isn't somebody who wants to win, to me those three things go hand in hand
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because it to me it doesn't matter what the business model is. You could give me a roofing business, you can give me an HVAC business, you can give me a
00:07:28
wellness company, a marketing agency. The principles that I thought to be
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true, many of them have held true over the last six years since 2019. Many of
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them are still very applicable around standard practices for accounting and
00:07:44
how you recruit people. Certain tips and tools help with different platforms that
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you can use for these things, but for the most part, those things actually haven't changed. But what I've learned painfully over the last 6 years is
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everything is about the people that you do business with and the partners that you choose and the people that you allow
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in your inner circle. And so that is the case for your own business, but that's also the case for the businesses that we
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help. And I can watch the most incredible business owner come into our organization. She's wanting to win.
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She's excited about what the future can look like. She's going to take all of the notes and actually go home and
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implement those things. But if she has somebody in her life, say it's a spouse, say it's a kid, worse yet it's an
00:08:28
employee that she's paying to help her. Like that's the irony. You pay people to help you and yet when they're actually
00:08:34
on your team, they do things that detract from your ability to achieve your goals and to reach your potential.
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That's where I find doesn't matter what the business model is, doesn't matter. You can give all of the books, all of
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the training, the full playbook to somebody, they're going to fail because either they aren't that person or they've surrounded themselves inside
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their business with people who will just be stops to them and continually stop their ability to grow and to reach for
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more, reducing that person's confidence in themselves and their business stays stuck. If people are the most important thing
00:09:03
for long-term success and for business, what are you looking for in people? What
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makes someone an A player in your view? And how do you how do you filter them out?
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Because a lot of people go off their vibes and if I've learned anything over the last 10 years is that we're all riddled with our own biases and
00:09:21
insecurities. So we end up aiming in a certain direction whether that's for better or for worse.
00:09:26
So what's your process of finding exceptional people? I use a three-step interview process. So
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the three steps for me is a first a cultural interview. I want to understand more so than me trying to get into the
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technicalities of can they do the work. Are they aligned with our organization? Are they goal oriented? The best
00:09:46
question that you can ask somebody inside a business before you hire them,
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what are their five-year goals and actually get a real answer. I don't really care what skills and experiences
00:09:57
you have. If you don't have goals, you're I'm not hiring you. You're not allowed to be inside this environment
00:10:03
because it's demoralizing for every other person who is here to help achieve their goals. the organization's goals
00:10:10
and hopefully the goals of the end customer, client, patient for whatever type of business. So that first
00:10:16
interview really being the cultural grounding point is of the utmost importance and then I move straight into
00:10:23
a technical interview where I want to get the person as close to the work as possible. So if you're going to be a
00:10:29
salesperson, I want to see you make a a sales call. I'm going to give you a list of 50 people to call. I want to listen to you call those people. If you are a
00:10:36
graphic designer in our organization, we do not do briefs. We are not the type of
00:10:41
people that are going to say you get all of this time to be able to think through this whole process and this whole
00:10:47
journey and we're going to give you two weeks to do this. For us, we are turnurning content constantly because
00:10:53
that's the world that we live in for the amount of ads that need to be created, presentation decks. It can't take a
00:10:59
bunch of time. And so if the person when I do a case study interview and I have them actually make a presentation in
00:11:05
front of me says that they need two days to think about this and they can't assemble some form of a presentation or
00:11:12
a graphic for an ad. They don't know how to use Adobe or Canva or whatever the platform is, I I can't really hire the
00:11:19
person because I know that they don't have that skill. And then the final one is a core values interview. And for me,
00:11:26
our team's ability to demonstrate ahead of time, ahead of joining the organization that they actually
00:11:32
understand and are in alignment with our core values is essential.
00:11:37
How do you test someone's core values? Well, I asked them to give me times where they have exemplified the core
00:11:44
values that we have and they present it to our leadership team. For the first 100 team members at Cardone Ventures, I
00:11:50
listen to every single core values presentation. the person can't demonstrate and actually say, "Oh, I was
00:11:56
able to generate x amount of leads and convert them at y percentage." They probably don't know what they're talking
00:12:01
about and they're gonna have a really hard time in the environment. And I do believe that this is the business owner's responsibility. You have to own
00:12:08
your culture and your environment. And if you don't and just think that anybody that can come in is going to actually
00:12:14
live by what you want to create, you're going to be very quickly mistaken because they're going to create their own environment inside yours and then
00:12:21
you've lost control. You talked about goal setting being an imperative when you're meeting people. What is what is
00:12:27
your framework for goal setting? If someone at home isn't quite clear on their goals, what what should they be
00:12:32
doing? I have a three-step methodology for goal setting that I have rolled out to thousands of people. And this three-step
00:12:40
framework has really transformed my life because it allows me to create buckets
00:12:46
for goals. And the process is called personal goals, professional goals, and financial goals. And after having over a
00:12:54
thousand of these conversations personally where I've interviewed team members and business owners and team
00:13:00
members of business owners about their goals, what I can say is I've never found a goal that is outside of those
00:13:05
three buckets. But the challenge many people run into is on New Year's Eve, they start to list out all of the lovely
00:13:12
things that they would like to accomplish and who they want to be. And it becomes this very esoteric conversation. Instead of really
00:13:18
prioritizing personally, what does success look like? Professionally, what does success look like? Financially,
00:13:25
what does success look like? And what would those targets be in one year from now, 3 years from now, and 5 years from
00:13:32
now? Because those three buckets become easy to think about in the short term.
00:13:37
One year for most people, super straightforward. They're like, "Oh, I'd like to make an additional $10,000. Maybe I'd like a promotion here." Three
00:13:44
years starts to get a little bit more nebulous. And after having over a thousand of these conversations, 5 years
00:13:50
for most people they have a hard time thinking with. But the one constant is in 5 years from now, guess what? We're
00:13:57
going to be 5 years older. I am 32 years old today. In 5 years from now, for certain, I will be 37 years old. And so,
00:14:05
who is Natalie at 37? Who is she? She's a [ __ ] badass.
00:14:11
Natalie is in control of her environment. Natalie is able to
00:14:19
make a lot of financial investments that I'm not in the position financially to make today because I want to be able to
00:14:25
write a million dollar check to charity just because I can. I'd ideally like that check to be 10 or $50 million. And
00:14:33
when you say PPF, personal, professional, financial, is there any specific way that I should
00:14:40
write this down? Is it just do I just think about in 5 years from now, what are my personal, professional, and financial goals? And then I write that
00:14:46
down on a piece of paper, for example. Great question. Ideally, personal is at the top, okay,
00:14:51
with a bucket for one year, three year, and fiveyear. Then the next is professional, one year,
00:14:57
three year, 5 year. Financial one year, three year, five year. And you know, you use the word badass. Uhhuh.
00:15:03
What is the mindset of a badass? Like, have you always been like this? I always wanted this, but today I am
00:15:10
this. At 20 years old, I was crippled with anxiety and fear about what others
00:15:16
thought of me, about this decision that I made to be in a relationship with somebody who was older than me, and
00:15:22
thinking that for the rest of my life, somebody was going to think that, oh, she just married her way to the top. She
00:15:29
slept her way to success. She's not actually very smart. She's just a gold digger and she took the easy way out.
00:15:37
And so 20-year-old me was actually terrified of being in front of people,
00:15:43
was terrified of the future judgment that would come if I was successful.
00:15:50
Because I think there was a part of me that thought to myself, well, what if I am only successful because I married
00:15:56
somebody who is successful? and all of the thought process that goes around,
00:16:02
well, do I not marry this person and be in this relationship even though I love them and I think they're the greatest person on earth because what people are
00:16:08
going to think of me. What if I could have the greatest relationship because I'm obsessed with this person. I really think that this person is my person. I
00:16:15
had that clarity at a very young age and he's 25 years older than you. He is 25 years older than me.
00:16:21
So, so you were anxious and more concerned with other people's opinions?
00:16:26
100%. Did you have the same aura? I don't think so. What changed? What happened? How did you
00:16:33
acquire such an aura? I think the aura came from targeting, getting stats that I could prove that
00:16:42
let somebody not see me and my life choices, but actually let them see an outcome. So that first outcome was being
00:16:49
able to recruit people. I wanted to actually have a stat that I have recruited x amount of people. Therefore,
00:16:55
I know how to hire people. I know how to interview them. I know how to onboard them. I know how to create a successful
00:17:00
culture because a result shows that. So whether you like me, don't like me,
00:17:07
think that it was him, you can't take away the stat. And I became obsessed with not
00:17:14
getting things or doing things that took me away from stats. So you needed to acquire first party
00:17:22
evidence for yourself about yourself. Mhm. So that within yourself, you knew
00:17:28
who you were that you had a a self case for who you are. That and even I guess to for people to do
00:17:34
that cuz I'm sure there's so many people listening that are maybe 20-year-old Natalie in some way, maybe a bit shrouded with sort certain insecurities
00:17:41
and maybe aren't the most conf confident, maybe a bit anxious, scared about what people might think if they try. What would you say to those people
00:17:47
from your experience? Go all in on yourself.
00:17:53
go all in on that weird thing that you're interested in. If it's scrapbooking, if it's
00:18:01
social media, if it's recruiting, if you like reading business
00:18:06
books, go allin on that thing. And social media has never created a better
00:18:12
time for people to actually create incredible things based off of their own interests and get those things out to
00:18:18
the world. So 20-year-old anybody anybody who is 20 years old should say
00:18:25
this is what I'm interested in. It is one thing. It is not 12 things. And I'm going to go all in on myself with this
00:18:31
thing and become completely obsessed and create my environment around becoming the best at objectively the best at this
00:18:40
thing. Does it matter how you look? I've I've heard you talk about this in a video you made in April where you're talking about
00:18:46
seven steps to transforming yourself and you say that you should rebrand your look.
00:18:51
Does it matter how I look? I think it matters a lot to people how they look. I think people have a lot of
00:18:59
ideas about levels of acceptance about how they look and ultimately you have to decide if you
00:19:06
are comfortable with the way that you look and I do think many people overemphasize how they look and how they
00:19:13
come across. But if you want to rebrand yourself and have this new identity,
00:19:19
let's say somebody wants to go from being a 20-year-old college student that no one really takes seriously and it's
00:19:26
kind of dumpy and doesn't really like certain things, but can't really
00:19:31
articulate why, spend too much time on social media, and let's say that person
00:19:36
wants to become a professional golfer. Well, all of a sudden, in order for me
00:19:42
to become a professional golfer, the fastest way for me to be successful at becoming a professional golfer is to
00:19:47
practice golf every hour of the day and to assimilate into that environment to
00:19:52
look the part and to act the part. I'm a huge believer in the process of be, do,
00:19:58
have. It is not have before you actually be that person and you do the things in
00:20:04
order to have the stuff or have the identity or have the whatever it is that
00:20:10
you're looking to create the being a professional golfer, the scrapbooking business, the $20 million organization.
00:20:17
And so the first step really is becoming that. And if I really want to change
00:20:23
what my external environment is, I need to get in those rooms and I need to start to understand what those rooms
00:20:29
look like. And the fastest way for me to actually be able to do that, as long as it doesn't compromise my moral code,
00:20:34
would be to start to look like, dress like, act like that thing that I want to become. How important do you think communication
00:20:40
is in terms of like the way that you show up here and the way that you talk?
00:20:46
Do you think that's important? And if so, what advice would you give to to my
00:20:51
audience about being an effective communicator?
00:20:57
Of course, communication is the most important thing. Next to being successful,
00:21:03
actually, I would say in order to be successful, you have to be able to communicate your ideas and your thoughts
00:21:09
and who you are and your point of view. And if you can't communicate those things, it will show in your inability
00:21:17
to create the things that you want to have. So, what do you do when you think about your own communication style? What
00:21:24
are some of the things that you've learned over time that are effective to make people take you seriously to to hear you and to persuade people?
00:21:31
I am incredibly present in any room that I am in. And that is a missed skill in a
00:21:37
day and age where everyone has a cell phone where they can contact millions of people instantly. I find that leaders
00:21:44
who want to get promoted and and be in the next position, they don't even think
00:21:50
of how unaware they look in every leadership meeting because they are simply answering another email or not in
00:21:57
that room. And my philosophy is if you're in the room and your two feet are there, that is where you have to be. And
00:22:03
so you are an effective communicator if you can actually track with what's happening. If I can track what he's doing over here and when he comes and
00:22:09
talks to me, I'm able to have a conversation because he's physically in my space. That communication matters.
00:22:16
It's not just the most important person in the room that matters in any room. It's how you present yourself to every
00:22:23
individual because you are present in that environment right now. And if you
00:22:29
can teach yourself to not numb yourself from the environment, if you can teach yourself to really observe the
00:22:35
environment and talk to whoever it is that's in front of you, communicate with them, even if they're not talking to
00:22:41
you. How we became partners with Grant and Elena Cardone was by sitting at an event with 35,000 people and instead of
00:22:48
acting like big deals and instead of acting like we were somebody, we sat
00:22:53
there in their audience and took notes and were actively interested in what
00:22:59
they were saying. Why? Cuz if somebody's up on stage and you want that person's attention, the fastest way to make them
00:23:04
not want to spend time with you is to slouch in your chair and is to look down
00:23:09
or be distracted the whole time. And then when they meet you to come maybe take a picture at the end of the event,
00:23:15
they see you. They are going to know that you gave them no laughs, you gave them no verbal cues, you were completely
00:23:21
uninterested, and you actually made their job harder for them despite the fact that maybe they are your role model
00:23:27
or idol. I find people are so unaware of their physical presence in any room, in
00:23:33
a meeting, in a school room, in a presentation, in a conversation with their significant other with their kids,
00:23:40
that if they could just own the space that they are in and be intentional with the human being that's in front of them
00:23:47
would change everything in their lives. What about how you speak? how the very the most effective speakers that you've
00:23:53
encountered, what it is they do tactically to make sure that people hear what they're saying and are persuaded by
00:23:59
them, you know, and there's a spectrum, right? There'll be these business owners that you meet that are like terrible communicators and speakers. What are
00:24:05
they doing wrong? And then the very best that you meet, what are they doing right? The more frameworks somebody has to
00:24:14
frame their communication, I think helps them land their point. So there's no
00:24:20
shortages of frameworks on the planet. My framework is vision, commitment,
00:24:26
execution. I use three steps in every communication that I'm really intentional about and wanting to land.
00:24:33
And that three-step framework can be used for getting a promotion. It could be used for laying people off. It could
00:24:40
be used to figuring out where you're going to go to dinner that night and persuading your significant other. So
00:24:47
the first step of the framework under VCE is vision. And it's important that
00:24:54
vision is first because if you can articulate to somebody the intention and
00:25:00
the why behind whatever it is you're communicating, you're going to get much further than just going into tactics.
00:25:06
And if it's tactics that you go into, people forget it. People don't remember tactics. They they like the tips, but do
00:25:14
they actually implement those things? oftentimes not because it's just tactics. So why is this thing important
00:25:20
for the individual? So give me an example. I'm on your team and you're trying to persuade me to launch a Twitch channel
00:25:26
to do live streaming. How how would you go through this framework to accomplish that goal?
00:25:32
Card Ventures. Our mission is to help business owners achieve their personal, professional, and financial goals. And we're on a path to impact a million
00:25:39
business owners. We've only done business with a handful of thousands. We have a long way to go. And one of the
00:25:45
things I was researching is Twitch because our impact could be greatly
00:25:51
amplified by us having our message be to this audience to this crowd using Twitch
00:25:57
vision commitment. There's two steps. First step, what is my commitment? I
00:26:02
will provide you whatever training is the best training to get you set up with
00:26:08
an account to get you the knowledge and education of people who are crushing it in the space. introduce you to those contacts in order for you to be able to
00:26:16
fully launch this and be responsible for it. Commitment part two. What I'd ask
00:26:22
for in return is you take that very seriously and with the contacts that
00:26:27
you're going to be meeting, you follow up with them. You ensure that they understand that your intention is to be the best of the best, to learn from
00:26:34
their mistakes, but to do this in a way that represents our organization at the highest level possible.
00:26:39
Execution. So, what I see this looking like is we're going to get you an account. I've researched this
00:26:46
platform. I know nothing about Twitch, but I've researched this platform, and here are the three people that I'm going
00:26:52
to invest $5,000 for you to go and learn from, be mentored by, and over the next
00:26:59
8 weeks, the target has to be we're going to go from zero Twitch subscribers
00:27:05
to 10,000 Twitch subscribers. and we will check in every single day in
00:27:13
order to remove any roadblocks in order for this to be a successful initiative. And where do people go wrong here?
00:27:19
They start with the execution. They're like, "Oh, we need to be on Twitch." This is what business owners do to their team. They're like, "I came home from
00:27:25
this conference. We need to be on Twitch. So, figure out what Twitch is going to look like. Figure out what the plan is. We'll meet back. Talk about it.
00:27:33
Just like handle this. I'm super busy. I have to do this thing over here." instead of really tying whatever the
00:27:38
thing is that you're asking somebody to why is this important? Oh yeah, it ties back to this bigger thing. It's not just
00:27:43
because I'm asking you to learn Twitch, which is likely something that you know jack [ __ ] about. You know nothing about Twitch as do I. But that's this
00:27:51
difficulty in businesses and in many communication outside of business is you're both trusting that you're going
00:27:59
to do your part in learning about something that neither of you know anything about. And so you either again
00:28:05
bottleneck yourself in this communication because you're struggling to understand this thing. You're
00:28:12
struggling to understand Twitch and then you feel like you have to become a Twitch master. People online are going
00:28:19
to love this. No idea. But you're going to become like the world's greatest Twitch person when really what you
00:28:24
should have been doing is these other things for your business. And this person you should trust enough but lay
00:28:29
out enough steps for them to say this is why I'm committed to this. It's important enough for me to invest $5,000. That's my commitment. What I'm
00:28:36
asking for in return is your commitment back to me so that we're aligned. And if
00:28:41
I once I have your commitment, I've already given you mine. Let's just hop right into execution. But so often we
00:28:48
drop right into execution without first getting the commitment from the other person that they're even interested. And
00:28:53
then we wait 4 weeks or 8 weeks or 12 weeks thinking something is happening
00:28:59
when it is not happening. and we lose time, momentum, excitement, enthusiasm about growing and our confidence in
00:29:07
people that we can actually trust them goes down. I've heard you talk about avoiding phrases like I think, I feel,
00:29:14
um, and being more high conviction and certain with the way that you communicate with people. Mhm.
00:29:19
Explain that to me. That honestly might be outdated for me. Yeah. Because in a day and age where
00:29:28
it's important to share your point of view, it's not a bad thing to say, I think
00:29:35
this is the right path, especially if you aren't certain. And it shows strength and integrity that you are
00:29:44
communicating that you you're thinking this. You you don't know for sure and you're relying on other people. Now, if it is just a filler word, if somebody
00:29:52
says, "I think we should do this and this is the direction that I think we should take Cardone Ventures," that
00:29:58
wouldn't be very engaging. So, in that context, you absolutely should not be using these filler phrases of I think or
00:30:04
maybe and and adding lack of certainty. At some level, you're playing a certainty game with everybody around
00:30:10
you, whether they are investors, clients, patients, team members, partners, vendors. And so using phrases
00:30:17
that decrease people's certainty in your direction isn't going to help them help
00:30:23
you. But if you actually are uncertain, it is okay to be transparent about that. And it actually builds trust.
00:30:29
I I think it's funny I just said I think I think about this a lot. Um because I I find myself writing out
00:30:35
emails and messages where I've written I think in them and I I'd say 90% of the
00:30:41
time change it to I believe. And I think there's something different about that framing. Whenever I
00:30:48
believe, it feels it's still appreciating that this is a belief that I have and I don't have certainty on this hypothesis, but there's something
00:30:54
high conviction about the phrase I believe we're going to blah blah blah blah and I believe that will happen blah
00:31:00
blah blah. It feels much better than I think. I think is a bit flimsy.
00:31:05
I'm in agreement with you and a bit plastic banging in the wind. But when you say it like this, it makes me
00:31:11
connect to you because it actually feels like it's a stream of consciousness that you are thinking something
00:31:17
instead of in an email. You saying I believe is much more authoritative. I would
00:31:25
I would caution leaders when it comes to using words like I believe or being
00:31:31
certain about really ensuring that you are certain or you really do believe
00:31:37
something, especially as your business grows. If you're doing a million dollars
00:31:42
and now you have a $10 million business and all of a sudden you have a a layer of leaders around you, it can become an
00:31:48
echo chamber. And the more certain you are, or at least you seem to be, the
00:31:54
less likely people are going to push back on you when you might actually need them to collaborate and you weren't so
00:32:02
certain, but you came off with such certainty. And I find that that's a balance that leaders have to find as
00:32:07
they become more competent in their zone of genius and as they get higher up in organizations or start their own
00:32:13
organization themselves. if they aren't really communicating what things they
00:32:19
aren't certain of but they're waffling on um it it can cause unnecessary
00:32:26
duress. You talk about mastering your calendar as well being central to transformation.
00:32:32
Why is why is this so important and what does that mean? Well, if you want anything in life, you
00:32:38
actually have to spend time to get that thing. things don't just magically manifest into people's lives despite
00:32:45
what the internet tells you. So, in order for me to have the relationship
00:32:50
that I want to have, I actually have to invest time with my significant other. It's not just going to magically happen
00:32:56
that I'm going to have an amazing marriage. If I want to have great friends, I actually have to spend time
00:33:03
with my friends. And so your calendar is a reflection and a representation of
00:33:08
what you find to be important and is in alignment or out of alignment with the goals that you have every single day. So
00:33:15
if I have zero time being spent on generating revenue inside my business, it shouldn't surprise me at the end of
00:33:21
the year that I'm doing the same amount of revenue that I did last year. Why? I spent zero time on the one thing aka
00:33:27
revenue generation in order for it to grow. So for me, my calendar, and I
00:33:33
teach business owners this every single day, you have to look at it every day. You you have to start to align your
00:33:39
time, unless you want your life to be something that just is a story of luck.
00:33:46
I don't know about you, but I'm not interested in having a life of luck because I think that actually leads to a
00:33:51
significant amount of self-doubt and uncertainty. Oh, just because I'm lucky I'm going to leave something to being
00:33:57
out of my control just because I I happen to be at the right place the right time. Of course, there are those
00:34:03
components. I have been at the right place at the right time throughout my career. But the way that you control
00:34:09
where you spend your time gives you the most amount of atbats to the opportunities that you want if you have
00:34:16
goals and aspirations to have a different life than you currently have. And to me, still to this day, I want to
00:34:22
have a different life in the future. And I imagined a more enriched version of my life at 40 and at 50 and at 60. And I
00:34:29
think if people were really honest with themselves, they want a different version of their lives, too. I don't
00:34:34
think someone listens to this podcast or watches this show without wanting to be
00:34:40
something different or to have something different, whether it's relationship or different health situation or different
00:34:47
income, different friends. I mean, how many people would want different friends, like badass friends to do cool
00:34:53
[ __ ] with? Well, how do you get that? Okay, I would need to actually reverse engineer using my time and what I do
00:34:59
every single day to get me closer to people who are doing those similar things. And so, that might actually take
00:35:05
me making sacrifices for 2 years in order to be able to be around people to
00:35:11
be able to give value to people who'd be interested in being my friend. And it sounds a little
00:35:17
strategic, but it is. Cuz you don't just get great people in your life because you happen to be at the right place at the right
00:35:23
time. You get great people by doing great things because great people want to spend time around other people who are doing great things. And the only way
00:35:29
that you can certainly know that you were doing great things without getting lucky or happening to look a certain way
00:35:34
so that you get invited into certain places is by managing and really creating your own time.
00:35:40
What about hard work in this equation? You know, people talk a lot about work life balance and I think a lot of people
00:35:46
want want everything. We want to, you know, get to 40, have the yacht, have
00:35:52
the great family, have great relationships, have a great business. I mean, that's an ideal outcome for all of us. What would you say to people about
00:35:59
the concept of working hard and how critical or or unimportant that is?
00:36:04
Working hard is the most important thing. You cannot get to where you want to go if it's truly something that is
00:36:11
unusual or out of the ordinary without working hard. And
00:36:17
you could try to hack it. Let's say somebody happens to be beautiful. I
00:36:24
guess you could get the yacht and a relationship because you're beautiful
00:36:30
and somebody is willing to be in a relationship with you because you're a
00:36:35
good person. But I've met those people and those people have crippling fear and
00:36:41
anxiety because they don't actually know what their place is and they don't know they didn't do what was required to have
00:36:48
the thing. So going back to like be do have people who win the lottery, they
00:36:53
have all the money. People who inherit wealth, they have all the money. This was my fear. I was going to have money
00:36:59
because I'm connected to my husband. But I didn't do the work and become the
00:37:06
person that created the happiness until I did do the work to become the person
00:37:13
to have the thing. So now that I have it, I can actually have it. And when you are able in life to have things that you
00:37:20
want because you did it in the right order, you don't have this anxiousness, you don't have this anxiety, you don't
00:37:26
have this worry or fear that someone's going to take it from you. It's all going to come crashing down because you
00:37:32
know that you could redo it. If I want to be badass Natalie at 32.
00:37:38
Mhm. How hard am I going to have to work in my 20s? And I want like very specifics like you cuz people everyone has a
00:37:44
different idea of hard work. I think if you ask anybody if they work hard, I think 100% of the population will say, "Yes, I do." But actually, there's like
00:37:50
levels to this [ __ ] So, how hard do you work? If we look at an average week,
00:37:59
why are you smiling? I'm never not working. So, however many
00:38:07
hours are in a day, everything in my life is optimized to the work that I do.
00:38:12
Every single thing. Because the work that I do is important to me. And I'm in a phase of my life where I really do
00:38:17
believe that the work that I'm doing can change my life. It can change others lives. So, it would be selfish of me to
00:38:23
not spend every minute thinking about what I can do in order to help move the work that I do that I'm passionate
00:38:29
about. What about hobbies and stuff? And what what do you have any hobbies? Anything you do to
00:38:38
when you're not working? I love a facial. Facials are great.
00:38:45
That's the extent of hobbies. I don't have hobbies. I I' I truly love what I
00:38:51
do every single day. I get to work with the backbone of America. I get to work with business owners who need my help,
00:38:57
who are very confused. And so I feel a huge sense of responsibility every single day to actually make decisions
00:39:03
that if I had Sarah looking over my shoulder, listening to how I'm talking to my husband and Sarah works with her
00:39:10
husband, like would she actually think, "Oh, she is the person that she says she is because of the way that Natalie
00:39:16
showed up to this conversation." And if you have this responsibility and I would
00:39:22
recommend to anybody like manufacture in every way possible responsibility, put
00:39:28
more responsibility on yourself. Feel the weight of responsibility because it's important and there's nothing wrong
00:39:35
with responsibility. We should want responsibility because people who have responsibility, what does that mean?
00:39:42
They're able to respond. Well, I don't want to be unable to respond to
00:39:48
anything. I want to be the first phone call when somebody is having a crisis. I want to be the first phone call when
00:39:53
somebody is celebrating something. I want to be capable and able to respond. And so, the idea of hard work to me,
00:40:01
it's just a it's a requirement because I have responsibility. And anybody who is
00:40:06
trying to shortcut the hard work, you have to figure out almost how to gify it for yourself and put different ways of I
00:40:15
guess creating pressure and responsibility to keep yourself going through it because sometimes it is
00:40:21
frustrating and overwhelming and never burnoutinducing though and I think that
00:40:27
that's a misconception about hard work. I don't know successful people who are
00:40:32
still in the game who are burnt out by a long day. That the response isn't
00:40:38
burnout. Their their response might be I want to go do something different for a
00:40:44
minute. But my business partner Grant Cardone who I am obsessed with and that
00:40:51
was one of the greatest partnerships I could have ever done in my entire life. He says, "You're not a candle. You can't
00:40:57
burn out. A human being cannot burn out because you are not a candle. So, can you feel moments of pressure, stress?
00:41:05
Yes. I don't take any of those moments as being a bad thing. It's not a negative to feel overwhelmed because you
00:41:11
have responsibility. People depend on you. People are relying on you to do something great.
00:41:16
Burnout then in your view, why do people say, do you know, I was doing this thing and I got burnt out so I had what is
00:41:22
that? The thing that people do is not actually leading to where they want to
00:41:27
go. So if I thought that it was going to require me to work out two hours a day
00:41:33
in the gym and only eat chicken and rice and never have any of the things that I
00:41:39
love to never get a six-pack, I'm not going to do that. But if I think that by
00:41:46
doing this work that's going to be hard and I'm going to hate and it's going to suck that I can actually get what I want
00:41:52
and my life would be changed because I'd actually have a six-pack and I'd feel confident and I'd be able to buy the clothes that I'd want and I'd just be
00:41:58
part of the very small percentage of the population that has one, then the process of me going to the gym early at
00:42:05
5:00 before my kids get up wouldn't burn me out. I would recognize that this is a
00:42:11
step that's necessary to get to my goal. And at which point when the goal is there, you might change your mind and
00:42:17
you might have a different goal. But when people win, they are rarely burnt out at that moment. I've watched
00:42:23
business owners sell their businesses for hundreds of millions of dollars. Uh I've watched them get hundreds of
00:42:29
millions of dollars in their bank account. And that feeling of celebration and joy happens to stay around for a
00:42:37
little while until that thing kicks in, which is that individual's potential to
00:42:42
help somebody, to solve more problems, to be able to make a larger impact. And so that end goal does end up moving. The
00:42:50
goalpost ends up moving. And there's actually nothing wrong with that. Despite the world wanting to tell you
00:42:56
that there is something wrong with the fact that you're moving the goalpost, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. and you only really get burnt out if
00:43:03
you don't see how the sacrifices that you're making are actually going to lead you to the six-pack. If you're going to
00:43:08
be overweight forever, then of course I'm just going to eat candy and chips and all the things that I love to eat.
00:43:14
But I do think I could get a six-pack. So, I'm willing to make some of these sacrifices here and there because the goal isn't going to allow me to get
00:43:21
burnt out because I'm going to be so freaking proud of myself by the time I reach that goal. at which point I'm going to change it to a different goal
00:43:26
and it's going to be just as interesting and exciting of a game for me to play at that point in my life. We talked about responsibility earlier
00:43:32
and you work seven days a week and all the time but only take time off for facials. There's a I know my audience well enough
00:43:39
to know that some of them will be thinking that's all right for you. You haven't got kids. Totally.
00:43:44
How do you respond to that rebuttal for people that have, you know, lots of
00:43:49
other responsibilities? They're right. you can have kids and be
00:43:55
a great parent and also work a lot. And so then your hobby instead of me getting
00:44:00
a facial would be you actually spending intentional time with your kids. But I would ask them this question. What is
00:44:06
the appropriate amount of time to spend with your kids? Like how much is that? What would make you feel good about how
00:44:11
much time you spent with your kids? Is it 2 hours a day? Okay, great. 2 hours
00:44:17
focus time, dedicated time, not 4 hours. half of that on television, on social
00:44:22
media, making calls, making dinner. No, that that that's not workable. Two hours
00:44:28
makes sense. Or three hours, whatever that person's goal is with the amount of
00:44:34
time that they want to spend being an active parent, being somebody actively involved in that person's life. But we
00:44:41
tend to just use these excuses. Oh, I have sick parents. Oh, I have kids. Oh,
00:44:47
I have. And I find that very successful people happen to have all of those. Oh,
00:44:53
I haves. And many of them, not all of them, but many of them are able to
00:44:58
figure out, okay, I'm going to spend this 90 minutes at the hospital fully locked in to my dad right now. My dad
00:45:06
doesn't actually need me for 6 hours. My dad needs me for 90 minutes. That time
00:45:11
is precious. It's blocked off. I'm making the time for that. And then outside of that, it is working in order
00:45:19
to build the life that you want. Because guess what? Your dad is going to pass away. If your dad passes away in a year
00:45:26
from now and 6 years from now, the amount of time that you spent with him needs to be important enough for you to
00:45:32
make that time. And I would hope that everybody makes the amount of time that is necessary for them to feel like they
00:45:37
did their job as the child, did their job as the caretaker, whatever the role is. But at what point are you going to
00:45:44
use other people's circumstances to stop you from doing what you want to do and creating what you want to have? And for
00:45:51
the parent who is very intentional with their kids and and doesn't use their
00:45:57
kids as an excuse, I am all for spending as much time as required for you to be a
00:46:04
good parent. It's that I find that the other side is far more prevalent, which
00:46:09
is I'm using my kids. I'm using my family. I'm using my circumstances. I'm using my education, my lack of
00:46:15
experience as a reason for why I can't do this thing. And when I find people,
00:46:21
because I work with people all day, every day, when I find people like that, the fastest way to handle that is be
00:46:27
like, "Hey, Sarah, let me see your phone real fast." Sarah will give me your phone, and I'll open up the screen time
00:46:35
on her phone. And if the screen time on her phone has 3 hours of Netflix or an hour and a half of Instagram, like just
00:46:42
reallocate that time to the thing that you want to go build. Use your calendar,
00:46:47
use your time for building the life that you actually want to have instead of saying, "Oh, I have kids." While also
00:46:54
being distracted with your kids and not being a parent, whatever that definition for you is, a parent to them. I don't
00:47:00
think that kids are negatively impacted by watching their parents work their asses off. I think that that is an
00:47:06
inspiring way to grow up. I had two parents who worked their tails off. And I do think that I am part of the way
00:47:13
that I am because I had such incredible parents who worked hard and who prioritized their own goals and their
00:47:19
own success as something that was important. And I would also argue it
00:47:24
should be more important than I am. Just because you're a parent shouldn't mean that your kids are the most important
00:47:30
thing in your life and you have to overindex on spending all of your time there. What matters more being in your view
00:47:37
being happy and content with your life or being successful even if it comes at the cost of contentment?
00:47:43
They are the same thing. They're not different. I do not find success and happiness uh on two polar opposites. I
00:47:50
am happy when I create things and when I can see in the physical universe that I've done something that I wanted to do
00:47:57
whether that's driving revenue, hiring people, helping a business owner, that is when I I am
00:48:03
the happiest when I am doing the things that are part of becoming successful.
00:48:08
So if Sarah who's scrolling on Netflix is is content and happy,
00:48:14
she's not content or happy though. How do you know? Because what is she watching? Is she watching Selling Sunset and watching
00:48:20
other people live their lives and touring these gorgeous homes and having these fancy things that Sarah would
00:48:27
would love to have? If she really thought she could have those things,
00:48:32
if she really actually believed that for a second and these are the steps that
00:48:39
are part of getting there, I do believe that she would choose actually having it
00:48:45
versus watching it. I guess it depends what it comes at the expense of because I know a bunch of billionaires and
00:48:52
they're not amongst the happiest people I know sometimes. I mean there's the odd one or two that I think are really, you know, really happy and content. But then
00:48:59
I've got friends that, you know, live in my hometown who I think are probably happier and that never, you know, have a
00:49:04
9 toive job, etc. And I would say they're probably happier. So, so that the house in my mind doesn't
00:49:12
strike me as being the source of everyone's happiness. Even though for
00:49:18
for you and maybe even for me, Mhm. maybe that is the pursuit of those things gives us some kind of stability.
00:49:23
Mhm. Because of our own trauma and our own wiring and our own insecurities, etc. But for Sarah, maybe she had such a
00:49:30
cushy, lovely upbringing and she felt so safe and secure and that she didn't she wasn't without
00:49:37
that maybe she's like perfectly happy just vicariously watching Netflix and walking her dog.
00:49:43
I refuse to believe that that's possible. Really? Yeah. Sarah is slapped in the face as
00:49:49
soon as she leaves that nice little escape that she's created for herself of Netflix of all of the things that she
00:49:55
can't have and that she can't do and the experiences she can't create for herself that she could never give to people
00:50:00
around her because she was distracted and not actually building what she
00:50:05
wanted to build. Maybe that's what she wanted to build though, a life of watching other people's lives
00:50:10
on social media, Netflix. People like watching movies and stuff and they like scrolling and you know they they like
00:50:16
cooking and then do a bit of crochet then walk the dog and spend time with the kids. People like that. I when I was
00:50:23
younger you know when I was like 18 19 20 25 whatever I didn't think it was possible. I thought that everyone was
00:50:29
pretending that they you know that they were happy. But as I got older and as I started to
00:50:34
realize that I'm a bit [ __ ] up. It became more and more clear to me that actually had the circumstances of my
00:50:41
earlier life been slightly different, I wouldn't be the way that I am and I wouldn't want the things that I think I want and I wouldn't get the contentment
00:50:47
and stability from the pursuit of things. And so it's plausible if you even look at your siblings, you go,
00:50:53
well, how are we all so different? Like, you know, why why are why am I working seven days a week every single day and
00:51:00
some of my siblings choose not to? It's because we have we have different wiring and we get happiness from different things. And some of the things they do I
00:51:08
go I'd hate them. I'd hate that. My brain would be going crazy thinking
00:51:13
about email. You don't think Sarah can be happy?
00:51:19
I don't think Sarah's happy watching Netflix and on social media. I think that there is a deep sense of insecurity
00:51:26
and lack of contentment that's guised as I'm happy and that's guised as or
00:51:34
covered of it's almost like a a facade. I'm going to say that I'm happy.
00:51:42
But the realities of our economy and the realities of her financial situation
00:51:47
create dependencies for Sarah. It creates dependencies and with those
00:51:53
dependencies what I found is that the things that you are dependent upon at
00:51:58
some level you will end up resenting. If I'm dependent upon my one customer in my business and they make up 80% of my
00:52:05
revenue, sure it's great when I sign that deal. It's really sucky when that customer ends up being a jerk because
00:52:10
now I'm dependent upon them 80% of my revenue until I'm not dependent upon
00:52:15
them because I've diversified my revenue and I've been able to bring on other customers because I was able to market
00:52:20
my business and acquire an audience. And so with Sarah,
00:52:26
I would ask if the median household income is around $60,000
00:52:32
shy of $70,000 a year, what is Sarah dependent upon to be able to afford the
00:52:38
Netflix subscription? And when she scrolls on Tik Tok shop and wants to be able to be like everybody else who's
00:52:44
living these cool lives doing these glamorous influencer events or whatever she's into, whatever is so captivating
00:52:50
to her that's making her watch this instead of go out and do those things, apply the makeup. How many makeup
00:52:57
tutorials do women watch without ever even applying the makeup or using the
00:53:02
tools and the products? It's just because they're distracted. I'm wondering if this is a consequence of
00:53:07
the internet this this perspective like because I I was in my head I was skipping back through the through 50
00:53:12
years and then 100 years and I was going back further I was like you know what's human what what's the human sort of wiring a thousand years ago when wealth
00:53:19
didn't exist like wealth was what you could carry there was no such thing as bank accounts or money so I was as
00:53:25
wealthy as what I could carry and actually maybe as I think Nal said this before that the only currency back then which still persists and actually wealth
00:53:32
is just a proxy of is status status has always meant survival It means that I get the resources, I get the mates. But
00:53:37
wealth is isn't this construct that actually the mind understands. But in the last 20, 30 years because of social
00:53:42
media, we've all been sort of, I guess, wired in a way to believe that
00:53:47
material possessions like the yacht or the follow account is of utmost
00:53:53
importance. Maybe it's just a proxy of like I belong to I belong and I'm I'm not at risk.
00:54:00
Maybe it's a proxy of status. I think it's a proxy of survival. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So, I'm I'm wondering if
00:54:06
like if we've just been wired for the last 20 years to believe that we need these things because of the environment
00:54:14
that we're in, but actually like prehistorically it doesn't make sense that we would we would care about
00:54:20
we so pursuit I think is like really hardwired into us. So, it's like we wouldn't have these cameras and all in this house and stuff. So, clearly my
00:54:27
ancestors were like wired to pursue things and to build, but they were also most certainly wired to depend
00:54:33
Like I think this is might be be one of the real problems with society at the moment is that we're all pursuing independence,
00:54:40
you know, like I I think this is a bit of a problem. I think about this quite a lot actually like the decline in faith and the decline in community
00:54:47
institutions and the decline in people having kids and family. I'm like we're really becoming really individualistic and I'm not sure that's within our
00:54:56
nature. See, I think survival has to depend upon other people. It's not just my survival.
00:55:02
Once I've handled my survival, the amount of money that I make, it
00:55:07
instantly goes to the problems that come with other people's survival, whether
00:55:12
that's a family member, a group of friends, and how far out that expands. I
00:55:19
don't think that changed 200 years ago or 2,000 years ago. the ability to accumulate things to better prepare
00:55:25
yourself in a harvest, better prepare yourself in a in a time of a drought to actually sustain and and make it through
00:55:33
to really survive. And the more contacts that you have, the more you are setting yourself up to survive. The more people
00:55:39
who know you, even though it's a little bit of a status symbol, it's actually a survival mechanism for you because
00:55:46
millions of people across the globe at any point in time that you have a problem, you've built enough trust and
00:55:52
credibility with them for them to be interested in helping you. So, it's actually a survival point. Now, of course, you can run the spectrum of the
00:55:58
survival and say, well, is the additional millionth follower or the additional 2 million followers actually
00:56:03
leading to more survival? I would argue that potentially, but what else could
00:56:09
you be able to impact if you were thinking about the survival of you, of your family, of the people that depend
00:56:15
on you, your team that's here? Like you are creating abundance so that other
00:56:20
people can survive through what you have created and you pursuing your own survival and then having the second
00:56:27
order be the group around you, family, the employees, the other groups that you're a part of that you contribute to
00:56:33
in whatever ways you do and then those concepts go further out to what can you actually be responsible for for its
00:56:40
survival. What's interesting is this this approach to sort of one's survival and one's prosperity is resulting in us
00:56:47
having going through a genetic extinction because people are not having kids anymore. So Sarah scrolling on
00:56:53
Netflix with her four kids is actually genetically surviving and all these people that are focused on independence
00:56:58
and how much money I can make, they're genetically becoming extinct. It's fascinating. I'm basically playing
00:57:04
devil's advocate with myself because if you observe my life clearly this is a massive contradiction but um but it's something that's been front of mind for
00:57:09
me at the moment is is this idea of like dependence and independence and obviously I'm approaching this season of life where I'm going to have kids and
00:57:16
there's going to be trade-offs that I have to make uh that I do make but I guess we shall see what happens.
00:57:23
Do you think people respect you a lot more now at 33 than they did when you were
00:57:29
in 2019? Of course they do. And what should
00:57:35
someone do that is looking to earn the respect? Some someone that feels like they're continually disrespected.
00:57:40
There's something about them. There's something in the way they carry themselves that what they continually feel like people are disrespecting them.
00:57:46
They might work in a business or, you know, they might be low down in a company or maybe they're not. Maybe
00:57:51
they're just someone who's gone through the corporate world and they're continually disrespected. What would you say they should do to to earn people's
00:57:57
respect? The first thing somebody has to do in order to earn respect is to decide that they would rather be respected than
00:58:03
liked. That trade-off is made too often. We're in a situation when the right
00:58:09
respectful thing to do is unlikable. We don't choose the right respectable thing
00:58:14
to do. We prioritize being liked. And so when you make that decision to be
00:58:20
respected and to not prioritize what everybody thinks about you, you can then
00:58:26
transition into the second step which is you have to get stats in the area that you want respect in. If you're low in an
00:58:33
organization or you have different people around you who don't respect you for a variety of different reasons. What
00:58:39
is the area of your expertise that is undeniable? It's proof. It exists in the physical
00:58:45
universe. It's not just because you had an idea or you think you can be an entrepreneur or you'd like to be someone
00:58:50
who gives people relationship advice. I'm sorry, but if you're not in a relationship and you don't have a stat
00:58:56
of being able to have a good relationship and you can't have a spouse that's like, "Wow, this person's great.
00:59:03
I love being around this person." You probably shouldn't be giving that advice. And that's why you don't have respect in that area. So, I don't think
00:59:09
respect is a overall life respect. You need to have respect in the different
00:59:15
compartments. It's not just Steven is a respectable person altogether. That's that's a facade to me. You might not be
00:59:22
respectable in certain areas. I maybe shouldn't respect you in certain areas of your life, but other areas, I would
00:59:28
think, areas that you've prioritized, you're incredibly respectable in and you've prioritized getting stats and
00:59:35
proof in those areas to earn people's respect whether they like you or not because you have something to prove for
00:59:41
it. Has that been a journey for you? This idea of caring less about being liked because you talked about that
00:59:46
earlier as being really central to your sort of early 20s, etc. It was so hard for me to not want to be
00:59:52
liked. I had a mom growing up who was a medical doctor and just was the world's
00:59:59
most sweet, kind, thoughtful person. She would sit down at a party and every single person in that room loved her
01:00:06
immediately. That she just had this aura about her. And so I watched my mom
01:00:11
growing up as a role model and somebody who still to me today is a role model.
01:00:16
And she really emphasized how important it is to ask great questions and to be
01:00:22
engaged with other people. And what I lost in that process is well, if I'm
01:00:29
always asking other people and and trying to get other people to like me and it's always that flow, like what do
01:00:36
I actually think about myself because I'm so focused on over accommodating others? And so if you're trying to flip
01:00:43
this for yourself, you're trying to go from I overindex on being liked and not
01:00:51
so overindexed on being respectable and liking what I think about myself. You
01:00:57
really have to go out to your three-year version of yourself and your 5-year version of yourself because no one is
01:01:03
going to get clear on that for you besides you. And once you put that stake
01:01:08
in the ground saying, "This is what I want to be known for. this is who I want to become. This is who I imagine myself being. This isn't a manifestation
01:01:16
practice. It's a I'm going to decide who that person is. And then I'm going to like myself at 20, at 30, at 70 because
01:01:24
I'm acting in accordance with the way that I view myself in the future. And I'm going to become the person that I
01:01:29
want to be. Have you found that you've had to reinforce and protect your boundaries in
01:01:36
order to earn that respect? Do you find that people try and test you? Of course they do. I work with hundreds of team
01:01:43
members every single day who have their own points of view and their own
01:01:48
perspectives on what they want the work to look like, what they want our culture to look like. And I think I've had to
01:01:56
wrestle with this so much because I want to create an environment where people can be successful. My definition of
01:02:03
leadership is making other people's success easy. So, if I'm going to be a leader, I'm going to make other people's
01:02:10
success easy. How would I go about doing that? What type of environment would they need to be in in order to actually
01:02:15
make their success easy compared to their alternative, which is going down the street and trusting that some other
01:02:21
leader is going to make them more successful. And so, I really wrestle with who I need to be and what the
01:02:27
boundaries are that I set for myself. And one of the things I've gotten so much criticism of uh online was when I
01:02:35
publicly shared a Tik Tok about firing somebody because I found out that she was cheating on her significant other
01:02:42
and the other person also had a significant other. And as soon as I found out about it, I terminated both of
01:02:48
them immediately. And it's so shocking to people that Wait, someone was cheating with someone in the company?
01:02:53
Yeah. Oh, and they both had partners outside of the company. Both had partners outside of the company. As soon as I caught wind of it,
01:02:59
it wasn't even like a a split-second decision. Well, I guess it technically
01:03:05
was a split-second decision. Was like, I can't have this in my environment, especially somebody close around me.
01:03:10
People trust me and should trust any leader to help them make their success
01:03:16
easy. Am I making people's success easy by putting inside that environment
01:03:21
people who are going to erode the values of the group? No. Success for most
01:03:28
people isn't getting a divorce from their significant other. Success for most people looks like figuring out how
01:03:34
to have the success in their professional lives and in their financial lives while also being able to
01:03:39
have a spouse. I wouldn't want my husband going out to work and being in an environment where the company was
01:03:46
just fine with people cheating on each other, lying to each other, and not having a code of ethics, doing drugs.
01:03:53
Like none of that is something that I want inside my environment cuz it's my job to make people's success easy.
01:03:58
One would say that's none of your business what they're doing when they go home. It is my business first of all because
01:04:05
it was with each other. Yeah. But they're not doing it at work. Well, there was a not to get into
01:04:12
specifics of the particular event, but it happened to be around work related. But if it wasn't at work, you still
01:04:18
even if it was, I would fire the person immediately. So you'd fire someone for cheating. Absolutely. On their partner. Absolutely.
01:04:24
I can't have cheaters. If they're going to cheat on the person that they're supposed to spend the rest of their life with, do you think that they're cheating on their work?
01:04:29
Do you think that they're going to cheat on our clients? Do you think that they're going to have the ethics and morals and judgment to not be so
01:04:35
distracted with their own personal ethics situation that they can actually focus and do a good job? That person in
01:04:40
any environment is a liability to the environment. It's a complete liability.
01:04:46
Some people have, you know, things in their personal life which are very different to the way that they show up
01:04:52
professionally. Though people people do all kinds of things in their personal life. It's terrifying cuz listen, the way that I see it is if
01:04:58
I expand the scope of my uh concerns,
01:05:03
I'm going to get [ __ ] nothing done. Mhm. So if I start, you know, going into who they who they at home with and in
01:05:10
bed with and what's going on in their personal life, unless they bring it to me, obviously when you're the founder or the CEO, people bring you stuff and they
01:05:15
say, "Look, this is going to impact my work." But um I, you know, bound I don't want
01:05:20
to be I don't want to be the government of your [ __ ] personal situations as well, as long as it doesn't show up in
01:05:25
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for $1,000 off. If I'm thinking of starting a business in 2025,
01:06:31
you know, you've spoken to thousands and thousands and thousands of business owners online, probably many millions of
01:06:36
business owners. When we think about that initial period of like coming up with the idea and
01:06:42
picking what to work on. Is there any advice you would give people based on the success and failure you've seen about what they should aim at, what they
01:06:49
should work on, especially in the context of like 2025 when so much in the world is changing so quickly?
01:06:54
If they could use the frame, if any business owner or potential business
01:07:00
owner could think about starting a business from the standpoint of where is there the greatest chance for me to be
01:07:07
successful, that is the best frame to use. Unfortunately, most do not use that frame and they base it off of their
01:07:13
existing experience and the skills that they have. If it was not based off of existing experience or skills that
01:07:19
somebody has, I think great AI is going to be the great leveler because nobody
01:07:26
has a lot of experience in AI. Nobody knows in small businesses across America how to hook up automations and start
01:07:33
working with assistants to be able to put small businesses onto a CRM system
01:07:39
or an operating system that connects to their financial software that allows the business owner to make great decisions.
01:07:44
No one has done this at scale because it didn't exist. And so if I was starting a business in 2025, I would absolutely
01:07:51
look at how do I help business owners who have an infinite budget for things that actually work to make them more
01:07:57
money solve problems that are real to them. And the problems that are real to the 35 million business owners in the
01:08:04
United States of America is that they don't know how to use AI. they are terrified of AI and they're going to
01:08:10
either put their head in the sand or assume that somebody who is young is
01:08:16
going to create the solution for them when somebody instead who is experienced could have a eight maybe even a nine
01:08:24
figure business over the course of the next 18 to 24 months really figuring out
01:08:29
how to help solve these problems because it makes the business owner to that
01:08:34
business incredibly sticky. the customer is always going to be there and they would be on the front end of something that nobody has experience in.
01:08:41
So do you think a lot about this the speed in which that market is growing when you think about where to set up
01:08:47
shop and start a business? Of course the market growth is everything because if you want to start
01:08:54
a paper business in 2025, you would have to be the best paper business and really
01:09:01
have a unique positioning to make that successful. when you could do something
01:09:07
less well and be much more successful because there's just more opportunity in the growth and there's less players in
01:09:13
markets. So the growth allows for innovation, the growth allows for new entrance and as I mentioned with AI, uh
01:09:22
there's just an unprecedented opportunity in front of people right now. But I'm also very excited about
01:09:28
service-based businesses, roofers, plumbers, electricians, HVAC, all of those businesses.
01:09:36
The core of the business doesn't get disrupted by AI until robots. But those
01:09:41
business operations are ripe for somebody to come in, I don't care if
01:09:47
you're 15 years old or if you're 50 years old, and get paid tens of thousands of dollars per client to
01:09:54
implement very simple solutions that really do solve problems for those businesses
01:10:00
using AI. Using AI. Yeah. I've heard you talk about when you described the six most profitable
01:10:05
businesses that you think will be around in 2026. We've talked about AI businesses, talked about home services.
01:10:10
The other one was hybrid wellness clubs. Mhm. Why is why is health such a a big
01:10:16
predict prediction for you in terms of profitability and a good place to set up shop? There's growth in the health space after
01:10:22
co the whole world changed and their priorities changed as it relates to health. the statistics I read recently
01:10:28
about alcohol sales connected to like nightclubs, it's just it's not what it used to be because instead of wanting to
01:10:35
go out late and party and do all sorts of things, people are actually prioritizing their health and providing
01:10:41
them with solutions for optimizing their health is just it's continued to grow
01:10:47
for ever since co and it's going to continue to grow with different types of
01:10:53
amenities at gyms with different types of technology that people are inserting
01:10:58
into what a traditional I one time I recently went to a a facial, my favorite
01:11:05
thing, my hobby. I went to get a 60-minute facial and they integrated IV
01:11:10
services into that facial experience. Well, what else could you do that allows
01:11:15
somebody who is sitting in a chair for 60 minutes to add revenue to that
01:11:22
business that's connected to their health and well-being? Those types of innovations are happening in small
01:11:27
markets all across the world. And why did you say in that video pet care? People love their pets and people will
01:11:34
spend money on their pets. People will spend more money on their pets than they'll spend on their kids and then they'll spend on themselves. I mean, if
01:11:41
somebody has a dog, I recently talked to somebody who told me that she was doing
01:11:47
Reiki with her 12 dogs. I mean, it's just the the level of interest that
01:11:54
people have in taking care of their pets. I think what's happened in that market place specifically is as business
01:11:59
owners and high-income earners make more money and they do have these pets, these
01:12:06
things that are dependent upon them that aren't yet children. They want to spend
01:12:11
their discretionary income on making that pooch that is their new best friend
01:12:19
phto comfortable making him be well through all sorts of
01:12:26
offerings because I feel bad and it can actually pay off my guilt by providing
01:12:31
phto with a caretaker and nail polish and
01:12:37
EMF, you know, therapy. And the other the other thing that I I
01:12:43
think is particularly pertinent to the experience you've had is um so many small business owners will come up to me and say that they are
01:12:51
they won't say it like this but what they're describing is that they're a bottleneck in their own business. They're at maybe I don't know a million
01:12:57
in revenue. I mean most people that come up to me say this exact same thing. They've reached about a million in revenue in total and they don't know how
01:13:03
to scale beyond their typically like service based businesses where someone's doing a service for a client and uh what
01:13:11
would you what do you say to those people when you've encountered them in your your company? Welcome to being an entrepreneur. This
01:13:18
is not a unique set of challenges. This is an expected set of challenges. The statistics show that the challenges that
01:13:25
business owners face at that break point of taking what they are doing that is
01:13:31
working and transitioning that to having other people help them is part of the
01:13:38
process. And so there is nothing wrong with this business owner. It's just that they don't technically know how to train
01:13:44
somebody to do what they do well that then allows the business owner to focus on the business owner's primary role.
01:13:51
And that primary role should be to generate revenue. It shouldn't be the dentist being in the person's mouth. You
01:13:57
cannot have 12 dental clinics and still be the person that is helping the person
01:14:02
floss and making sure that they are flossing. Right? Mostly hygienists help dentists with that. But you have to get
01:14:09
out of the doing of your business and you have to get into the scaling of the
01:14:14
operations of your business. And those are just skills that you don't currently have. And what is that skill? What is the core skill there? It's a tactical skill. And
01:14:22
the skill is opening up their calendar, looking at what they do every single day, duplicating through process
01:14:30
creation what it is that they do that makes them a special snowflake in their mind. Because every business owner
01:14:36
thinks that they are the only person that can talk to their customer. They're the only person that their clients will listen to. Nobody is ever going to be
01:14:42
able to service their patient like them. That's what they think. And so they create those conditions instead of saying, "No, I'm going to objectively
01:14:48
look at where I spend my time, and out of all of the things that I do across a 50-hour work week, there are specific
01:14:55
things that are not the highest value for me to continue to do, but I would have to train somebody how to do that
01:15:01
thing flawlessly." It is not about hiring somebody who's going to know how to do that thing. That's where they fail
01:15:08
and then they lose confidence because they think some magical unicorn employee is just going to come into their lives
01:15:14
and take this thing that only know they know how to do and actually be able to do it. Of course, they can't. So, it's
01:15:20
this reinforcing thought that they have instead of structuring it to say out of these things, these are the specific
01:15:27
parts of the business that I want to remove off of my plate so that in 3 months from now, I do not touch these
01:15:32
processes. In order to do that, I'm going to document what I do. Ideally
01:15:38
using a framework like vision, commitment, execution so that it doesn't just get reduced down to steps, but so
01:15:44
that team members can understand the why behind it, what the organization is committed to, what the team member needs
01:15:50
to commit back to, and then actually execute on whatever that process is. And instead of just handing that person
01:15:56
those items in an onboarding and maybe never checking it again, you're going to
01:16:02
go through a four-step process. First, you're going to tell the person what they're supposed to do, aka the process.
01:16:07
Ideally, then you show them what they're supposed to do so that they can see how this applies in real life. It's not just
01:16:14
something on a document. Then you're going to let them do that thing. And you
01:16:19
are going to coach them and provide them feedback on doing that thing. So when you can see that you've properly trained
01:16:25
somebody and you've switched your mindset from just assuming that adults learn the same way that we used to learn
01:16:32
when we were children, which is just by picking it up and figuring it out. You're going to give them a full
01:16:38
structure, tell me, show me, let me coach me on the most important things that they need to be onboarded with. And
01:16:43
then you are going to actually measure that they're able to do those things in the way that you were able to do that so
01:16:48
that that role inside your business is handled. And then you just do that over and over and over again.
01:16:55
So often when people are having this conversation with me about this, they say, "Oh, I tried that and I brought
01:17:00
someone in and they [ __ ] up and and so yeah, I'm not I'm just going to do it myself." That's like the rebuttal that I
01:17:06
always get. It's always people saying, "Well, I tried that. I trusted someone. They [ __ ] me over. So that doesn't work."
01:17:12
What responsibility can they take in the interview process? What responsibility can they take in the onboarding process?
01:17:18
Did they actually show that person what they were supposed to do? Did they ensure that the person knew what to do? Do you think most people are bad at
01:17:24
hiring? Of course they are. People are terrible at hiring. Where do they go wrong? Like what are the biases that they that end up
01:17:30
consuming that process that make them make a bad decision? I don't think they really understand what the work is that they're trying to
01:17:36
get that person to do. So they Google a job description or they chat GPT or use
01:17:42
Grock to put a job description that isn't actually connected to the real outcomes in the role. I can imagine if
01:17:47
you posted for a marketing position inside your business. For you, marketing looks like lots of different things.
01:17:53
Yeah. For the average business owner, I'm just going to I need somebody to help me with marketing. They don't even know what they're hiring
01:17:58
for. Yeah. No. So then the person comes in with a certain set of experiences and they are
01:18:03
going to drive based off of their experiences whatever they think the outcomes are for their role inside that
01:18:08
business because the owner never took the responsibility to say this is how I'm going to objectively measure. Was
01:18:14
this person successful based off of the fact that the marketing that we do for our plumbing business that's doing
01:18:19
$800,000 of revenue is actually email marketing? So, what if I don't know the right type
01:18:24
of marketing? Cuz I'm a plumber. I don't know about [ __ ] marketing. So, I'm going to be very easily duped by someone
01:18:30
that tells me that they know marketing. What do I do to minimize the probability of me being
01:18:36
duped? Well, the good news is if you are a plumber currently and you're doing,
01:18:42
let's say, $800,000 of revenue, you figured out marketing for $800,000 of revenue. So, the first thing in order to
01:18:49
not be duped would be ensuring that the person that you're bringing on can at least do what you are doing and they can
01:18:55
duplicate what you are doing. Now, once they've demonstrated to you that they can take on those tasks for that
01:19:00
800,000, they are competent. They understand the business. They understand who your customer is because you forced
01:19:06
them to. because you documented what you did did to get the first 800 and maybe that's even referrals. Great. What is
01:19:11
your referral process? And how then once they've been able to master what you
01:19:16
created a model for, I like to call this the four M. Model, mimic, master,
01:19:22
multiply. The business owner can first create the model of what they are doing today that's generating the $800,000 of
01:19:28
revenue in their plumbing business. I take a model. I have the model. This is what we are doing for email marketing
01:19:34
inside our business. Then I move into seeing if they can mimic what is the
01:19:40
behavior to then move into mastering it. And once somebody is at mastering
01:19:46
something inside a plumbing business for $800,000 a year that it's generating,
01:19:52
they can then start to tweak and add things and and maybe we're going to also try one other thing. We're going to try
01:19:58
Instagram marketing because we know that our plumbing clients are on Instagram and we're going to have this strategy
01:20:05
here. So now I'm going to be able to add to that. At which point when a team member can go through those first three
01:20:11
M's, model, mimic, master, then they're in a position to multiply their role.
01:20:16
Because if they really did master something, the results would show that
01:20:21
to indicate that the business is ready for them to add potentially a marketing coordinator underneath the marketing
01:20:27
manager that can then go through those first three steps of the process. while the team member who was once responsible
01:20:35
for those things is no longer doing those things but is being additive to additional types of marketing inside
01:20:41
that business. The the other thing that I often wonder is if people aim too low
01:20:46
with talent, especially like earlier stage founders, they tend they tend there tends to be a bit of insecurity
01:20:51
there and they don't want someone to come in and tell them what to do in a particular domain
01:20:58
because I think the further I've got in my career, the more I've sought out people that are like significantly
01:21:04
smarter than me and I see that as the game. But in the early innings of my career, I think I was
01:21:09
hiring people I could manage. Do you think you weren't as successful when you were hiring people you could
01:21:15
manage 100%? Because now you're able to bring on talent to help you bring on whole new
01:21:21
lines of revenue, whole new partnerships, business opportunities, manage those things.
01:21:28
Yeah. In the early innings of my career, I was particularly aiming at young people that were like my age or younger
01:21:34
cuz I was what I was what 20. So, I'm like, how how the hell am I going to bring in a 45-year-old that's been doing
01:21:40
this for 25 years and get and and be able to tell them anything, which is what which was the fault in my thinking
01:21:46
cuz I thought my job was to tell them what to do and to give them the vision and but actually as I I think got more
01:21:51
secure in myself, I realized that the game is the inverse, which is try and find truly exceptional people that know things I don't know and create the
01:21:58
conditions where their knowledge is adds to the hive mind of the decisions of
01:22:03
this organization. And actually that's what we need. We need new thinking, new experiences.
01:22:09
I think that's important once you reach $30 million of revenue. But until you as
01:22:15
the founder can generate something that you can prove works and you can replicate what
01:22:23
works, you open yourself up to significant risk. And the stats show it.
01:22:30
the the majority of businesses, 97% of businesses fail within 10 years. So by
01:22:37
trusting or thinking that you're going to bring on somebody who's smarter than you, you're not actually taking on your
01:22:42
role to say this is what I want to build. This is what I've built so far. before you will be additive to this
01:22:48
environment, I need to make sure that what we have built so far, the $800,000 of revenue, the $2 million of revenue,
01:22:54
the $10 million of revenue, I need to first make sure that you can do that. Because if you can't do that and we
01:23:01
can't duplicate what we're already doing that works well, we don't know what is
01:23:07
the right idea to bring in because there isn't a a core understanding of what makes this business run today. And the
01:23:13
last thing that you want to do is bring on a leader. Let's say your business is doing $10 million of revenue and you
01:23:18
think that there's somebody out there that is smarter than you who's going to entirely change your sales process. Maybe you weren't the best salesperson.
01:23:24
You hired a salesperson on very early. They've tapped out in their ability to add additional salespeople and really properly run a sales team. Well, as soon
01:23:32
as that's happened and you're going to bring on this external person, it would be great if they could add $20 million
01:23:38
of revenue. But if it's through some different product and different service and different way that disrupts what got
01:23:45
you to 10 million, you're not at 10 million any longer. You're at 8 million or 7 million. And there's real slipbacks
01:23:52
that happen. And to me, that's more of the reality that I see, which is the slipback because the business owner
01:23:58
doesn't know enough about the core parts of the business to decide how the business is run, what the core offer is
01:24:04
to have the confidence to then bring on people who are additive that can't break the business.
01:24:10
So you think we you should approach with caution because there's risk associated with on boarding people that might be expensive and um
01:24:18
know too much about I guess be I guess it goes back to being duped be able to
01:24:23
dup you by you not fully understanding what they're saying and what they know and they can't dup you if you know what
01:24:30
you are already doing. If you're really willing to model what is currently being
01:24:35
done and they are willing to be humble enough to come into your environment and
01:24:40
learn the reasons why. This doesn't have to take years. This can take a handful of months. I'm not talking about like
01:24:46
stifling innovation for quarters and quarters or years and years to make sure that they like really are indoctrinated
01:24:52
with the way that the organization works. Absolutely not. That wouldn't work. The way you have to do it is quickly assessing that they understand
01:25:00
the way the things work inside your current business. We just recently brought on a new seauite um within the
01:25:05
first handful of weeks. I can tell that he's picking up on what our core business has does. And if I didn't think
01:25:12
that, it would be hard for me to trust some of his recommendations because I brought on a seuite team member earlier
01:25:18
this year who had all these fanciful ideas and this, you know, the the big
01:25:24
names and you think that they're going to bring on all these things, but they can't actually contextualize what their
01:25:29
experience is to the core business because they don't understand the core business. And then it ends up disenfranchising the team members that
01:25:35
they're responsible for working with. And I have seen more often than not that
01:25:40
trusting too early on without that founder getting the necessary skills ends up in the luck scenario instead of
01:25:49
this was a strategy because I knew and had certainty about what was going on and I'm good with what my four walls
01:25:54
are. This is what you are going to bring. That is incredibly additive to that core business. But that rigor and
01:26:00
that discipline has to be there from the founder first. It's interesting. Yeah, it's really interesting. And I think part of my bias
01:26:07
is because I've been there before. I would never start a new business now without aiming extremely high with the
01:26:13
talent. But that's actually because I'm harder to dup now. So if you have to pay someone a huge salary for example and
01:26:20
give them a huge package whatever I'm better able to assess whether they are worth it and what their ROI is going
01:26:25
to be versus the start of my career where hiring someone on and taking such a big risk on someone I didn't have
01:26:32
enough data to understand if I was being duped or not. So it was a lot of faith and trust and well they worked at this
01:26:38
incredible company so they must be good and I've also seen that completely backfire as well. Um, you talk about
01:26:44
these 10 steps to becoming a millionaire in a video that you made uh in December in 24 and there are a couple of things
01:26:50
that I wanted to to pull out here. So, you out outline this 10-step process to becoming a millionaire within a year and
01:26:56
one of them is researching what jobs millionaires have. Then rate your interest and skills in
01:27:02
each and pick one to master. The other one is cut out friends who drain energy or don't stop your goals.
01:27:09
Study the 10 most successful people in your field through podcast, videos, and books.
01:27:16
Use every moment to build skills. Follow only millionaires on social media and eliminate all distractions such as Netflix and doom scrolling.
01:27:24
Be willing to invest and go into debt. As without investment knowledge, you
01:27:30
will stay broke. Attend events with successful people.
01:27:35
Research you'll be attending. Master selling yourself, your customers, and your team members daily.
01:27:42
On this point of selling, is there anything on this subject of how to be a great salesperson that we haven't talked
01:27:49
about that you think is important? Whether it's selling yourself or selling your ideas or selling your business or
01:27:55
one of my favorite quotes from Grant Cardone, to the extent you are sold, you
01:28:02
will sell. Oh, okay. So to the extent in which you believe something is the extent you'll
01:28:07
be able to make others believe in the thing. Mhm. So if you're not sold on yourself, on your business idea, on the product
01:28:13
that you're selling for the company that you work for, on getting another department to work crossunctionally with
01:28:19
you, if you aren't really sold on that, you will not sell. But I think it goes a
01:28:24
layer deeper than that often times because it's easy to look at I'm not selling the
01:28:32
product inside my business. Maybe I'm a team member. I'm in sales and I'm not
01:28:37
hitting my quota this month of cars that I'm supposed to sell. And I'm like, well, like I don't really feel good
01:28:43
about the fact that I sell cars. Like I this car is a piece of crap. Of course, I'm not selling the car. And you can get
01:28:49
very critical of the thing and rationalize why you are not good at sales. But if you really do take a step
01:28:56
back, why did you choose to sell cars in the first place? Why is that the thing
01:29:04
that you said, I'm going to spend my time and energy being sold on? You could have chosen lots of other opportunities.
01:29:11
and you actually being sold on the PR firm that you wanted to work at instead of taking the sales job that you got and
01:29:17
not confronting the PR rejection that you got landed you in this place where you're unsold and then you're critical
01:29:24
of your environment and you're critical of the product and then you think you're not good at sales when really you just
01:29:29
needed to go back to that thing that you were actually sold on because you sold yourself on why you thought for you that
01:29:34
was your opportunity. then you just missed the target and instead of being unreasonable about the target, you
01:29:40
became reasonable and started selling something you didn't believe in and then you think that you're not good at sales. And so the reasonleness
01:29:48
in yourself in what you want to be doing is actually why I find that salespeople
01:29:53
can't sell. It's not about their inherent skills. If I can get them sold on the product, of course I'm going to
01:29:59
get them sold on the product. I help business owners across the country get sold on getting their team members to
01:30:04
sell roofs. I believe that somebody knocking on the door and selling roofs is the most important thing for that
01:30:09
team member. I am sold on the fact that they're working for a roofer who cares about them. So, I'm like, "Hell yeah,
01:30:16
let's get on the roof." I've was on a roof about a month ago and then was on another roof two months ago cuz I
01:30:21
literally helped these business owners train their sales team members to sell roofs. And these sales team members
01:30:27
aren't naturally interested in roofs. They didn't wake up one day and thinking like, "My life's dream is to sell a roof." But what are they sold on?
01:30:33
They're sold on the opportunity to potentially join this roofing company to go from one location to two locations,
01:30:40
three locations, five locations because the business owner has created that vision for them and the salesperson can
01:30:45
sell themselves on the skills that they have to understand how to sell a roof.
01:30:51
Maybe not the sexiest thing, but that's a stepping stone in order to be a future expansion partner with this business
01:30:58
owner because this opportunity exists. So, how do I sell a roof? If I'm on that roof with you and you're trying to train
01:31:03
me to sell the roof better, how what are you saying to me is Well, ideally, you're knocking on the
01:31:09
door of the homeowner. Okay. I knock on the door. You knock on the door. Yeah. And you go through if there was a storm.
01:31:14
There's all sorts of ways that you can sell roofs, but let's say that there was a storm nearby or recently that hit that area and you could go the easier route,
01:31:22
which is going through insurance because that roof is completely then paid for. But then you'd need to go up on the roof
01:31:27
and or use a drone to look at the real damage because that in and of itself is
01:31:33
a sales skill. Somebody going up and pointing out the problem that that person has that they do not know in that
01:31:40
moment that they have helps the person feel confident in selling that roof. So, it's just as much a part of a process to
01:31:47
go walk the roof or to fly a drone over that roof to see the damage as it is a selling mechanism for the salesperson
01:31:54
because you're not just selling somebody a roof that doesn't need a roof. They actually have a problem. And then you would educate that sales individual on
01:32:01
the damage that that can do long term, the value loss of that property. And if
01:32:06
you can sell the salesperson on why that homeowner deserves to know that their roof has something that insurance could
01:32:12
pay for that could get fixed for them within a handful of weeks that doesn't
01:32:17
erode the biggest investment that that person has likely made in their life, their home. All of a sudden, I have an
01:32:22
army of salespeople who are interested in selling roofs because they're sold not just on the fact that it's a roof,
01:32:29
but the impact that that work makes on the person that they're selling and ideally the opportunity that they have inside that company to be freaking great
01:32:36
at selling roofs. So, you you pointed out the problem that they have. You've then assigned a cost
01:32:41
to that problem, how much it's going to cost them over the long term or short term, and then you posed the solution,
01:32:47
which is to get the roof repaired. And I guess you're trying to frame the solution relative to the cost so that
01:32:53
the solution is not bigger or more costly than the the cost of having a bad
01:32:59
roof. Earlier on, you mentioned um this this
01:33:04
phrase which I've not heard before and it was just before we started recording you talked about a woman's wealth transfer.
01:33:10
And when I asked you what was front of mind for you at the moment, you referenced that you were thinking a lot about the women's wealth transfer. What
01:33:17
is this? The women's wealth transfer. between 2025 and 2030 looks like just these are
01:33:25
US stats 10 trillion dollars are in the hands of women right now and between now
01:33:32
and 2030 that number is going to go up to $30 trillion. So this wealth is going to balloon. And
01:33:40
when you think about the implications of how this wealth transfer happens, it's not just cash that is given to women all
01:33:48
of the sudden because they're making more money. There's a transition because of differences in life expectancy in
01:33:55
partners. A man and a woman, there's about a on average men are going to die first. Yep. And it's about five and a half, six
01:34:01
years. So women are left with assets, not cash, like homes, businesses,
01:34:10
portfolios, investments, bank accounts that often times they were left out of
01:34:15
the conversation with the financial adviser. And they don't actually know how to operationalize, how to manage
01:34:21
because up until as recent as 50 years ago, women weren't even allowed to open
01:34:27
bank accounts without their husband or their father until that passed in the 80s. And so the wealth is actually
01:34:33
moving towards women. But women today feel less financially able due to
01:34:41
content creation. There was recent study done by a company called Elvest where
01:34:46
they analyze the amount of manifestation content on the internet created by women
01:34:52
creators. There's 12 times as much manifestation content from women
01:34:57
creators as there is investing and equity content. Or 70% of women feel
01:35:03
more overwhelmed with financial information after consuming the content
01:35:10
because it's a tip or trick or hack that is being shared instead of a real system
01:35:15
and process for how do they take something and systematize or operationalize this business that has
01:35:21
equity. But then there's trucks maybe that they're inheriting. Then there's debt on this business. And it's just a
01:35:27
brand new conversation. And as women get more financially literate, as they get
01:35:32
more financial opportunities, there have to be more ways for them to be in these
01:35:38
conversations. They have there have to be more ways for them to understand how to navigate what opportunities didn't
01:35:45
exist structurally even up until as recent as 20, 30 years ago. And so I'm
01:35:50
passionate about this because I see this incredible time where
01:35:56
I help people every day understand how to grow businesses and be competent in
01:36:02
businesses. So as the total wealth transfer takes place over the next 20
01:36:08
years from baby boomers to the next generation, that total wealth transfer is about $124 trillion.
01:36:16
How do I equip women to feel confident with the decisions that they're making,
01:36:21
to not just fire their financial advisor, which 70% of them do after
01:36:27
their spouse dies within the first year, and actually know before this
01:36:32
catastrophic event takes place, how they control the money, how they feel
01:36:38
confident with the money. So that once they have it, it is not in moments of panic and stress and frustration that
01:36:45
they are having to figure these things out. They already feel like they are equipped with conversations about what
01:36:50
is a P&L and how do I understand what's happening with my 401k and still some of
01:36:57
these concepts are just out of sight, out of mind and traditionally held by
01:37:02
male roles in a household. So what would you recommend people do who find themselves in that situation where
01:37:08
they're they are financially illiterate? You used the word earlier on financial crisis. Is that dovetailing into the same thing?
01:37:14
Is that because people is that the financial illiteracy point? You say financial crisis for me the financial crisis is how few
01:37:20
people are actually making enough money to make ends meet. The financial crisis is that there are so many businesses, 35
01:37:29
million in the US alone, and yet less than 200,000 make more than a million
01:37:35
dollars. And if less than 200,000 make a million over a million dollars and the
01:37:41
average margin of a business is 8.5%, you just you you're circling the drain
01:37:47
as to how much money people are actually making. It seems like there's so much money because of social media. And there
01:37:53
are team members who work in organizations that make more than $60,000 a year, but people are actually
01:37:59
making less money than I think society believes because of the proliferation of content creation. And so this crisis to
01:38:06
me is has much more to do with how do we get people skills that they need with
01:38:11
our life expectancy in total looking like it's going to be longer based off
01:38:17
of the different treatments that are coming out due to AI in healthcare in genomics.
01:38:22
What do you think is the most important financial information the average person needs in this regard?
01:38:27
I think the most important financial information is actually that money matters. And if money matters, how are
01:38:35
you spending your time today, tomorrow, the next day to get skills and to do
01:38:41
things that generate money? And if you can align your time with making more money instead of thinking that it's some
01:38:47
fixed resource or there is some scarcity around it, you could actually increase the the top line because you can save
01:38:53
your way to the bottom, but you get to the bottom. There's no abundance in the
01:39:00
in the bottom. So what are the skills? Like if I was somebody that was trying
01:39:05
to earn more money today, I would go on to one of the AI platforms and say this
01:39:12
is the set of skills that I have. These are the set of interests that I have.
01:39:17
This is the current job that I hold, what I do for work, and my goal is to
01:39:22
increase my income between now and 12 months from now by $100,000. what are
01:39:29
the specific skills and the associated syllabus for each week if I carved out two hours a day for me to learn that you
01:39:36
could put together for me so that I can actually get skills that would demonstrate that I'm able to make more
01:39:41
money. And I think that message is missed when people talk about investing
01:39:46
and 401ks. Sure, you can make your 6%, your 8%,
01:39:52
your 10%. But what can you actually control? And what does every individual have the ability to control? their
01:39:58
skills and how they exchange those skills for problems that they are
01:40:03
solving in exchange earning more income and then they're able to invest in and
01:40:09
do all of those other things. But those things are ancilliary. They are not the main thing. The main thing is you need to get skills. You are going to live
01:40:15
longer. Wake up, smell the roses. The world is going to be a very long place
01:40:20
that you are going to inhabit for the next potentially hundred years on average. So let's get comfortable with
01:40:27
learning more, understanding what our stops are to learning so that we aren't scared as the world changes of having to
01:40:34
acquire new skills. Before the diary of a co was what it is today, it was just an idea. And it started with me, a cheap
01:40:41
plug-in microphone, and my Mac right here. And I have to say when I first had the idea for the diary of a CEO, my
01:40:47
thinking was that the world might want to see into the diaries of some of the most interesting, successful people
01:40:53
really in high places that were doing interesting things. So after recording that first episode under my duvet, I sat
01:40:59
on my Mac, which is from our sponsor Apple, and spent hours editing and eventually uploaded it. And honestly, I
01:41:05
thought that would probably be it. But a couple of my friends said they enjoyed it, so I kept on recording. And over
01:41:10
time, the microphone has changed and we now have this incredible setup here. The thing that has stayed the same is I'm
01:41:16
still using the Mac. Even today, my entire team across our studio still uses
01:41:21
the Mac. Our first few episodes maybe had tens of people listening, but now tens of millions of people tune in all
01:41:27
over the world, which is still absolutely crazy to me. So, if there is an idea that keeps tapping you on the
01:41:33
shoulder, this is your sign to start. Your great ideas start on Mac. And you can find out more at apple.com/mac.
01:41:41
I did something at 24 years old that has had a profound impact on my life. I set myself the challenge of posting every
01:41:47
single day on my social media channels. And at the time, I was doing it to grow my following. But it had this profound
01:41:52
impact on my life. And two remarkable things happened when I did that. I managed to learn faster because every
01:41:58
single day, I'm capturing what is happening to me and trying to distill it down into something that I can share with the world. But more remarkably, it
01:42:05
led me to building a following of many millions of people. And that's the basis that I used to launch the diary of a co.
01:42:10
And that's why I want to tell you about our sponsor today, Adobe Express. They are the platform that I use to make all
01:42:16
the posts across my LinkedIn and across my Instagram. It's a couple of clicks and you don't need to be an expert. And
01:42:22
that is why I love using it because I'm not an expert in graphic design. It's accessible to use for all of us, even if
01:42:27
we don't have the technical prowess to design great things. So, if you want to start compounding both your reach and your knowledge like I did at 24 years
01:42:33
old, then head to adobe./stephven. y/stephven and get started with Adobe Express.
01:42:39
That's adobe. Stephven. People love talking about passive
01:42:46
income, especially on YouTube and the internet. They everyone wants passive income. The idea that you can make income and do [ __ ] all is unbelievably compelling.
01:42:52
Sign me up. I would like some passive income. What is the reality of this? Because there's a real obsession with figuring
01:42:57
out ways to make passive income. I want to earn money when I sleep. Um, what is the reality of that? Is that
01:43:04
is that a thing? Is that possible? Is that something I should be aiming at? You should aim at that. Once you have a million dollars in your bank account
01:43:11
before you have a million dollars, don't even think about passive income. You have you have no asset to actually earn
01:43:18
passive income off of. And your time is much better spent learning how do you
01:43:23
get your first million dollars than it is through passive income and thinking how you're going to earn a percentage on
01:43:30
the principle that you've invested. If you make $60,000 a year, medium wage, United States of America, if you make
01:43:37
$60,000 a year, 8% on that isn't gonna get you to financial freedom. So, don't
01:43:44
figure out how to crack 8% to maybe I'm going to get 15% returns because the principle is still so small. The 60,000
01:43:50
is so small. What do you have to do? Actually learn how do I make my income 160,000. But what's wild once people
01:43:58
learn how to do this and the skill of learning is like it's the greatest drug on planet earth because you learn how to
01:44:05
do something and you become competent in it and as soon as you get there you're like oh my gosh if that's all it took
01:44:12
for these people that I used to think were special to earn an additional 100,000 and now all I have to do is do
01:44:19
that same process again to go from where I'm at to be able to earn 1.6 6 million,
01:44:24
do a 10x, sign me up. Because you get this confidence from learning how to do
01:44:29
things. And so passive income is great at a certain stage of life and at a
01:44:35
certain stage of financial protection, but it is not. It is financial protection. It is not for the people who
01:44:42
are saying I want to go build something. I want to grow something. I want to create something. It is a it is to me
01:44:48
almost the opposite of survival actually. It's your backup plan. It's your rainy day fund in case [ __ ] hits
01:44:55
the fan. And I'm not opposed to having a backup plan. It's good to have a backup
01:45:00
plan, but 99% of your time should be focused on how do I make the first plan
01:45:06
go freaking right and do everything I can today to control plan A. You talked about acquiring skills being
01:45:13
the key thing there. Um obviously the world is changing quickly because of AI and all the skills that a lot of people
01:45:18
once acquired in university you know accountants, lawyers, um podcasters I
01:45:24
guess um our skills are quickly being replaced by intelligence machines and systems
01:45:29
that can now do what we do. And when you look around the corner at what's going on in robotics, I think Neo, the robotics company this week put on sale
01:45:36
their first humanoid robot which can move through the physical environment and do things. And when I combine these
01:45:42
two things, I can combine intelligence with the ability to manipulate the physical environment, I go, where are
01:45:48
where are humans going to going to be in all this? Cuz it is conceivable. It's
01:45:53
perfectly conceivable to me that much of what
01:46:00
we employ people to do these days will be redundant in the in the near future. Mhm. And that's not to say that there
01:46:06
won't be new jobs, but it's a difficult time to be um investing heavily in any
01:46:11
particular skill set. Well, some to some skill sets because they're they're becoming invalid in no time at all. Like
01:46:18
even as a writer, so like I've written two books and I enjoy the process of writing. I considered it to be one of my edges. I was like, I'm quite good at
01:46:23
writing. So that's useful. You can build a personal brand. You can send good emails. You can convince people,
01:46:29
investors, whatever it might be. But even now like [ __ ] everyone's got like AI now chatb2. they can just produce AI
01:46:35
slop and they can literally just say write it like Steven or write it like Natalie. So the edges are are going What
01:46:41
is the edge of the future in your view? What is the edge? What is the skill I should double down on that the robots
01:46:47
and AI aren't going to steal from me? I think the only skill that we can actually double down on in a world of AI
01:46:53
is the skill of learning and adapting because we cannot predict what the world
01:46:59
is going to look like in 2040. We do not know what robots are or aren't going to be capable of. I'm not as bullish on
01:47:06
this. I watched Elon have a interview over the weekend about his take on AI
01:47:13
and he said that it's a supersonic tsunami in which he proceeded to explain
01:47:18
that supersonic is traveling at the speed of sound and a tsunami is a wall
01:47:24
of water. And so if you think about that being AI, it's coming, it's here, it's
01:47:31
fast. And of course, he benefits from everybody believing all of those things with all of the companies. And I am a
01:47:37
pro Elon person. I I love what he has built. I love his mind. But I think that we're further away than people think,
01:47:43
but it is still coming. And so the only hedge that somebody can have is the ability to adapt and learn. And what AI
01:47:51
should be used for with every individual is the ability to learn. Acknowledge what you don't know. That is the
01:47:57
greatest strength somebody has. Really be comfortable saying, "I do not know
01:48:02
how to read a P&L. I don't know how to read this legal contract. I don't know anything about AI and what I've heard
01:48:10
LLM. Uh I don't really know what it is or agentic. What's the difference?" And
01:48:15
be able to convince yourself why that is the most important skill for you to push
01:48:21
past that barrier of learning something new. That is so uncomfortable because the the names are new and you feel like
01:48:28
a freaking idiot and then you think everybody is smarter than you and that you're just some fraud. To push back on
01:48:35
that and to have some resilience through it to say, I'm going to adapt through this. I'm going to get to the other side
01:48:41
and learn so that I concretely can have confidence that I can change in any
01:48:46
environment based off of what's needed of me in that environment and I will add value to that environment regardless of
01:48:52
whatever the external circumstances are. That is the only choice. There is no alternative choice.
01:48:58
Are you scared about AI? I'm not scared at all. I'm pumped. As you can tell, I'm really excited because
01:49:04
I used to feel dumb. I used to feel like there were things that these smart people knew that I didn't know. And my
01:49:12
entire outlook on life changed a handful of years ago when this got launched because
01:49:19
AI has taught me in two years what I would have had to go to school for and
01:49:25
would have had to get a degree in still to just find out that most people who went to school for those things and had degrees in them missed something
01:49:31
critical and important. And so for me, and I think people like me, and I don't
01:49:38
think there's anything particularly special about who I categorize as people like me, it is a unprecedented time to
01:49:47
lean into this reference of information that can specifically tutor you on what
01:49:55
you don't know, to actually equip you. you've never had this opportunity before and it's not specific to you with your
01:50:03
gender or your race or your age. It's accessible. And so I'm beyond excited because
01:50:10
anything that comes up that's like, oh, this just changed the whole dynamic of the business. Guess what? I have AI to
01:50:16
help me understand that and to help me get whatever skill I need in this new world. Same thing that people 100 years
01:50:23
ago had to do. Same thing that 2,000 years ago people had to do. They just didn't actually have a tool to help them
01:50:29
understand what was happening to then learn what needed to happen from them whatever they had misunderstood Zar in
01:50:36
in order to actually get to the other side with real skills.
01:50:41
Natalie, what do you think is the most important thing we haven't talked about that we should have talked about as it relates to what you know about who my
01:50:47
audience are and what they're interested in? I think this is a connected subject but
01:50:52
I would want anybody in the audience whether you make 60,000 a year a million
01:50:59
a year a 100red million a year to actually have the belief in themselves
01:51:05
that they can learn anything that they want to know and that there isn't actually a barrier there that exists
01:51:13
because if I could get people to really believe that their entire life would change due to the access that they have
01:51:19
today due to the tools that they have today. And so taking that confidence that I can walk into any room with any
01:51:27
big shot with anybody who knows something about a particular subject
01:51:32
matter that I know nothing about and feel totally comfortable being in that
01:51:37
environment because you can prep yourself. You can learn about it and life is so beautiful because you get
01:51:44
those experiences and you don't have to be scared of them. you can learn and you can understand and there's nothing
01:51:50
that's wrong with you to where you can't and there's no special privilege or special characteristics that somebody
01:51:56
has that you don't have in that you can learn anything. Did you used to think there were special
01:52:02
characteristics or some kind of genetic genius gene that these people at the
01:52:08
very top had and and how how did that change once you were in rooms with those people? Of course, I thought that there
01:52:14
was some genius button that somebody clicked at birth before coming out of
01:52:20
the womb where they just got to be special and they got to understand things. I really struggled growing up
01:52:26
with remembering numbers. Numbers were so challenging. I would just reverse the numbers and then they wouldn't stick in
01:52:32
my brain and I thought I was stupid for so much of my life. And for anybody who
01:52:39
also struggles with that, what you would come to find out being around lots of
01:52:45
people, successful or unsuccessful people, is everybody has that thing. So
01:52:50
the faster that you can attack it and get yourself comfortable with numbers, what I realized is like that was just a
01:52:56
story I told myself because had I ever spent an afternoon on a Sunday with my
01:53:02
extra time actually trying to get better at remembering numbers. No, I hadn't. I
01:53:07
just used it as an excuse. And successful people just limit the amount of excuses that they allow themselves to
01:53:14
believe for why they aren't successful. They take the limitation that they have
01:53:20
and either they so overindex in the strength and they ignore that or they
01:53:26
realize that that limitation is actually at a point where it is limiting them. So they have to attack it and take the time
01:53:33
to get better and shore up that area to then be able to springboard from there.
01:53:39
There's also I guess another layer to this which is men tend to rate their own performance higher than women do even when their actual performance is equal.
01:53:46
And there's a bunch of different studies that site this. There's one famous study that people always talk about which might not be I think might be refuted
01:53:51
now but it said that men apply for a job when they meet 60% of the listed qualifications while women only apply
01:53:57
when they meet 100% of the listed qualifications which in part as it relates to top jobs um in in Europe
01:54:04
people think that this is part of the reason why men are more likely to be in full-time top jobs um because they that
01:54:11
overconfidence means they're more likely to apply and therefore more likely to um I convince
01:54:18
pe other people and more likely to get the job. So there is something there seems to be a difference in genders in
01:54:24
terms of the need to feel ready and the need to
01:54:29
feel qualified. That's so real to me.
01:54:34
Yeah, that is so real to me. I get to work with people every day and I will have a
01:54:43
personal, professional, and financial goal conversation with team members who are in the exact same role. Let's say they're an account manager. One will be
01:54:50
a female, one will be a male. The woman is like a rock star. She like the clients love her and she's so good and
01:54:56
she just has like this little like magical spark. So, I'll be sitting with them with their personal, professional,
01:55:02
and financial goal conversation, and the woman will say, "Oh, I'd like to go from
01:55:07
making $80,000 a year to maybe in a year from now making 90,000." And the next
01:55:14
hour I will have a conversation with a guy, who is not as performant as she is,
01:55:19
and he will say, "Yeah, I'm making 80,000 a year. Think in the next three years I should be up to 200, 250." I've
01:55:25
had this happen over and over and over. So, I watch this in real time. And my
01:55:33
go-to in that is to sit down with a girl and to say, "I
01:55:38
want you to imagine what your life is going to look like in 3 years from now.
01:55:45
So, if you're 35 years old, you're going to be 38 years old. What does life look like? Who are you spending time with?
01:55:52
How much money are you making? Have you traveled? Do you have a spouse? Do you have kids? Like what what does life look
01:55:58
like? And what I want you to do if you don't have an account already is I want you to get hooked up with Pinterest and
01:56:04
you are going to create a board and you just going to go through all of these incredible things that you could have in your life that you actually want. Not
01:56:10
the stupid things like the things that you're like, if my life could include that, it would change my life. I would
01:56:16
love to have that life. For me, that would have been full sequin suit. Because if you can't do that, you're of
01:56:24
course going to be stunted in what you're going to do in order to get there. If it was a man who was
01:56:29
struggling with that, though, I'd do the exact same thing. That to me is the real job of a leader is to inspire people enough not about who you are and all of
01:56:36
your accomplishments, but to actually have them see that they could have the life that they want through the work
01:56:41
that they do every single day. and tying those two things together and being ruthlessly honest with them when they do
01:56:47
things that hold them back and remove things that are in their way. Natalie, we have a closing tradition where the last guest leaves a question
01:56:53
for the next not knowing who they're leaving it for. And the question left for you is um a fairly well-known
01:56:59
question actually. It is, what would you do if you knew you would not fail? If I
01:57:05
knew that I wasn't going to fail, I would just like I'd fix world hunger and I'd fix all of these things. But like
01:57:11
short of thinking that I could solve those particular problems, it's it's
01:57:16
selfish to not have those goals and dreams, I just think for my actual life
01:57:21
today, I really believe and preach and
01:57:26
to my core I feel act out that I take massive action towards goals that
01:57:34
do seem unbelievable or unreal to me. And right now the the set of goals that I have are the things that I'm very
01:57:42
confident that I'm not going to fail at. And I'm spending time doing those things in order to get myself as close as
01:57:48
possible to the woman that I want to become. And I could change my mind in a handful of months or a handful of years
01:57:54
once I've achieved those things. But I guess I already actually do think that I'm living my life short of solving
01:58:02
world hunger and like world peace. that I'm doing everything that I know how to
01:58:07
do to make an impact on the world. I noticed that um you know I've had a bunch of conversations on this show with
01:58:12
people like Evie Porus who is the uh the the Secret Service agent and you have a
01:58:17
lot of similarities to her. M I think because of the directness in which you speak and I think part of the
01:58:23
resonance is people want to know how to be taken seriously in this world
01:58:29
and I think they they they look at you and see someone who is like them in many ways or at least how they aspire to be
01:58:36
but is taken seriously in a world that is often hard to be taken seriously in especially as a woman in male-dominated
01:58:43
environments especially things like the finance industry and investment industry it's hard to be taken seriously it's
01:58:48
hard to be respected ffected. And so people I think people have a deep sense that they are being being
01:58:53
diminished. They are like misunderstood. They're not being heard. And so they when they hear someone that speaks so
01:58:59
clearly and with such conviction as you, um they they want to learn how to do it.
01:59:05
Is there anything in that regard that we've we've left off? because I was I was I was on your YouTube channel and I
01:59:10
was looking at some of your recent videos and one of the recent videos that has been incredibly resonant to people is this exact point which is the 1%
01:59:17
secrets to make anyone respect you instantly. Is there anything within the subject of that video? And I was looking at the
01:59:24
comment section. It was a lot of people talking about how they feel someone has disrespected them or that
01:59:31
they feel they've been ignored or not heard. Is there anything you'd say to those people?
01:59:38
Being looked down upon, being not taken seriously is actually your superpower.
01:59:44
And you have to convert the energy of that frustration into what are you going
01:59:52
to do in that environment next time to be taken seriously. I went to a charity event was about a decade ago now and I
02:00:00
remember being mortified because I was in this career pivot where I was making the decision to work with Brandon and
02:00:07
the your husband my husband yeah and the proverbial question of like what do you do came
02:00:15
around to me and I fumbled the question and for the rest of that night and it
02:00:21
was actually a charity trip the person just didn't take me seriously and they were somebody that I wanted to respect
02:00:27
me and I was so pissed off at myself that I messed it up that I hadn't created something at 22 or years old
02:00:34
that was more impressive that they would take me seriously and so I made it my mission between that point and the next
02:00:41
year when we would go on that trip for them to take me seriously and I had to look at what do I have to do what do I
02:00:48
have to create in order for somebody to take a 24 year old seriously what did you have to do and create
02:00:54
well I launched a podcast and I had to work on this communication skill cuz I
02:01:00
was terrified to communicate. I used to not be able to communicate like this. I had a horrifying experience when I was
02:01:07
in my early 20s where I was supposed to present this new leadership program that
02:01:13
was being rolled out at this organization. And I was nervous ahead of time but was fairly confident in the
02:01:18
material that I was presenting. And I walked up to the front of the room and I was the first person to speak. It was
02:01:23
8:00 in the morning and I got through five minutes of my hourlong presentation. I turned around to the
02:01:29
presentation screen to point out something and turned back to the audience. And in that moment, I was
02:01:35
instantly petrified. The nerves took over every fiber of my body. I could not
02:01:41
control what I was saying. My thoughts and my words did not connect. And I proceeded to give the rest of my
02:01:47
presentation that was supposed to take an additional 55 minutes in seven. And then I sat at the front of the room
02:01:54
while everyone around me was talking about all the different components of the things I was supposed to be
02:02:00
highlighting because I just couldn't articulate them. And from that point for about four years, I was unable to have a
02:02:08
conversation with people that had a larger group than four or five because this disconnect for me happened and this
02:02:15
anxiousness took place and I had to work on this skill to learn how to
02:02:22
communicate. And so I launched a podcast and the only topic that I felt comfortable talking about at that point
02:02:27
I didn't have some business expertise. I wasn't naive enough to think that somebody was going to listen to me at
02:02:32
the wise age of 23 or 24, my early 20s, and how to run a business. So, what did
02:02:38
I know at that point? And what was a problem that I was seeing? Well, I was actually around a group of people who
02:02:43
were in age gap relationships and having all these conversations in secret, but
02:02:51
wouldn't publicly talk about it. And so I started a podcast where I was talking about what it's like being a third
02:02:58
marriage and being a stepmom and how did we tell our parents and what are tools to navigate something that feels really
02:03:05
crippling and almost embarrassing to somebody who is a high performer. And I proceeded to have that podcast every
02:03:11
single week. And I made it my mission that year to make a toast at every single meal that made sense for me to
02:03:17
make a toast at. So that I worked out this skill of communicating. And working
02:03:22
out the skill of communicating is what allowed me to go from being in a room where I couldn't trust myself to even
02:03:28
introduce what I do to showing up the next year and having made progress on my
02:03:34
communication and saying, "Hey, I I know that you didn't take me very seriously last year, but this year, I would never
02:03:40
say it like this, but this year I've built this cool thing, and I actually have this blog that has thousands of
02:03:47
readers every single month that is generating this revenue. And you, Mr. old man might not have taken me
02:03:53
seriously, but I could probably help you in your business do the same thing because I know that you don't know anything about this. So, I gained a
02:03:59
skill in that process and was able to talk about the skill that I knew was my angle. The top comment on that video is being
02:04:05
nice destroyed my life. I can understand. Of course, it did.
02:04:11
The second comment is, "A friend to all is a friend to none." People really
02:04:16
resonate with the topic of being liked versus being respected. And people give
02:04:22
up their goals in order to be liked. And they give up what they believe that they can actually accomplish. And thinking
02:04:29
that it's okay to go all in on themselves in order to be liked. And so
02:04:35
that message I know really resonated with people because I start out the video by talking about the difference
02:04:40
between respect and being liked and really making that a choice and it's an active choice, not a passive thing that
02:04:46
just happens. I wonder why that is. I wonder why so many people are really focused on the
02:04:53
the idea of being liked. They don't want to be disliked and they want to be liked, but in their pursuit of being
02:05:00
liked, they feel like they're self-sabotaging in some way. like they're disrespecting themselves. So then they end up wanting to be okay with
02:05:06
not being liked. What is the the answer there in that vicious loop?
02:05:12
You have to choose who you want to be liked by. And if you choose that you want to be liked by people who are
02:05:17
respectable, you're not going to lose. If you choose that you want to be liked by your co-workers because they think
02:05:23
it's cool to [ __ ] on the company culture or to pretend like they're working but not
02:05:29
really care, then of course you're going to get stuck in this vicious cycle because you actually want to be
02:05:35
respected, but you're choosing to be liked by somebody that is not respectable. And
02:05:41
I think when you find yourself in a position where people who are respectable do actually like you, you
02:05:47
start to like yourself a little bit more because you've made sacrifices. You have to have made sacrifices in order to drop
02:05:53
the person that you were to become this different version of yourself. And that
02:05:58
process is so painful because you shed your identities and you shed people that you thought you needed to be dependent
02:06:04
upon. But as soon as you shed that and you, it's almost like a butterfly. You
02:06:10
metamorphosize into this new person, you will repeat that process over and over
02:06:15
again because of the confidence that it brings you. And you like yourself. And when you like yourself,
02:06:22
there's nothing better on this planet. I love my husband. I love my team members. I love my parents, my brother. There's
02:06:28
there's no amount of there's no greater joy that I have than actually being my
02:06:34
own best friend. And I don't say that from like a I'm just going to hold your hand and we're just I'm just going to be best friends with myself. I am brutally
02:06:41
honest with myself about what I am bad at, what I am good at. And I don't
02:06:46
overindex either way. I'm just honest with myself because I want to like me. And when you like you because you've put
02:06:53
in work that you have to do to not lie to yourself about what you want, then
02:06:59
the world is opened for you to pursue whatever opportunities because you like yourself and you're good with yourself
02:07:06
and that actually attracts more people who want to do cool [ __ ] with you because most people don't like themselves and they're not their own
02:07:12
best friend and they think that that's silly. But they are so mean to themselves. And I get that cuz I used to be so mean to myself and so critical.
02:07:19
Nobody would ever say to me what I would say to myself. I would never say to a friend of mine or even my worst enemy
02:07:25
what I used to say to myself. And I I had to work on rewiring myself to understand why I was so critical and why
02:07:32
I was so mean to myself to stop doing that and to stop acting in that way that then allowed me to work on the things
02:07:40
and fix the things that I didn't like about myself. For instance, used to watch way too much reality television. I hated that I watched as much reality
02:07:46
television as I watched, but I loved all of the Real Housewives, everything on Bravo, but it made me feel crappy
02:07:54
because I liked their lives instead of liking my own lives, my own life. And when you like somebody else's life and
02:08:01
you're living into something that you don't feel good about, you end up being really rude to yourself
02:08:08
for obvious reasons. You're not creating the thing that you want. You're just circumventing. You're like shortcutting it. And that stuff to me is is just as
02:08:15
powerful and maybe even just as harmful of a drug as hard drugs and alcohol
02:08:21
because it's escapism. Natalie, thank you and I'm very excited to sit again with you in uh some point
02:08:28
in the future and get an update on your PPS. I appreciate see how you're getting on. Thank you.
02:08:33
Please keep doing what you're doing. Appreciate you. [Music]
02:08:38
Heat. Heat. N. [Music]