00:00:01
You said to me, "The key to breaking this brick isn't strength necessarily. It's the ability to really, really
00:00:06
focus." So, can you show me you smashing this brick? Master Shaw Hungi is the world's most hardcore monk. He uses his decades of knowledge and techniques to help people
00:00:20
control their minds and overcome society's biggest problems. This world is filled with so much choice that it's
00:00:26
difficult to take a decision which direction to go. what is right to do. And so there is a lot of suffering with
00:00:32
the skills that you are developing through kung fu training involves methods and practices that give you the
00:00:38
ability to do this. But there are five hindrances that make it difficult for you to still keep your goal in the mind.
00:00:44
There is sensory desires, ill will, dullness, restlessness, and then self-doubt. And to overcome the five
00:00:49
hindrances, you recommend the four-step rain method. Yes. And with this, I make it super simple.
00:00:56
So many of us live in the same cycles of unhappiness and suffering. I I witnessed it in my life as well because I felt I
00:01:03
was never enough. My father and mother put a lot of pressure in terms of you need to prove yourself and so I did all
00:01:09
these type of practices and methods that made it possible to be where I am right now. I wanted the recognition by my
00:01:14
father but it didn't happen because your father passed away from cancer. Yeah. [Music] How does one let go of that and
00:01:26
therefore break the pattern? I will show you some practices. Number one, this has always blown my mind a little bit. 53% of you that listen to this show regularly haven't yet subscribed to the
00:01:37
show. So, could I ask you for a favor before we start? If you like the show and you like what we do here and you want to support us, the free simple way
00:01:43
that you can do just that is by hitting the subscribe button. And my commitment to you is if you do that, then I'll do
00:01:48
everything in my power, me and my team, to make sure that this show is better for you every single week. We'll listen to your feedback. We'll find the guests
00:01:55
that you want me to speak to, and we'll continue to do what we do. Thank you so much.
00:02:03
Master Sha Hung, based on everything that's happening in the world right now and the
00:02:09
work that you've committed your life to, what is the mission that you are on and why is it so important right now?
00:02:18
I do think that in this world there have always been different streams, different forces. One of them leading to the betterment of
00:02:30
humanity, one of them leading to the destruction of humanity. And I do think that there are types of wisdom and knowledge existing out there that very
00:02:41
easily without any additional help for anything else can be very useful for the people
00:02:50
nowadays. Yeah, you don't need to go anywhere. The only thing you need to do is take a moment, contemplate about
00:02:57
yourself, go into yourself and find the answers there and then decide for yourself which part and what type of contribution would you like
00:03:09
to give to the world that you're living in. I ultimately think this is what I'm doing. And what is it that you see
00:03:17
people struggling with? because so many people write to you, they they send messages to you, they come and see you.
00:03:22
What is it that you hear they're struggling with at a fundamental level? I would say it's diversity and choice.
00:03:28
This world is filled with so much choice meanwhile that it's difficult in a way to take a decision which direction to go, what is right to do, what is not right to do. But ultimately, it's only
00:03:42
yourself who knows the answer. Which means it comes to the essential point. Learn more about yourself. This is where it starts because if you have
00:03:54
the wrong perspective of who you are, what you are, everything else in this lifetime you base your decisions on is just not not going to be placed in the right direction.
00:04:08
And what are the the other things that you hear people suffering with on a daily basis in the modern world with the
00:04:13
way that the world is now? It's digitalized. We're lonier than ever. Mental health seems to be surging. What
00:04:18
are the like fundamental things they say to you or that that you in infer through what they're saying that they are
00:04:24
actually struggling with? So choice overload of choice and an inability to make a clear decision is number one.
00:04:31
So being perfectly honest, I usually do not very much rely on what the people tell me, what they think, what problem they have. It's just
00:04:42
that I look and I can see already what I think you need. And foremost one of these and it's very simple non-religious nothing about believing it simply is the fact you
00:04:57
don't use your body as it is intended to be very simple. Yeah. You we you you sit many people sit too much during the day. The
00:05:09
body is not active at all. A lot of work a lot of energy investment is done with
00:05:16
the mind. less energy investment is done really with the body and that simply means for
00:05:23
me I can see there's a disbalance whoever created us he did not create us to sit with our butt on one place and do thinking work the whole
00:05:35
time I do think a part of why we have been created is to get out on the field and just do something out there and what is the cost of not utilizing our body in the way
00:05:47
that it was meant to be utilized. Unbalanced energies that can translate into anxiety, that can translate into dissatisfaction, that can translate into
00:06:01
continuously searching and never being satisfied. And the most common thing, not realizing how precious the moments are that you
00:06:15
have. And instead of replacing them with illusions and dreams and assumptions which are just not real meaning everybody is not even
00:06:28
Buddhist, it's not Shaolin. It is common understanding. We don't know if we wake
00:06:33
up tomorrow. It is like this. Yeah. But our plans go. We have five years plans, 10 years plans. We have short-term, midterm plans. Yeah. The truth is we
00:06:44
don't know if we wake up tomorrow. So of course I don't want to make it like in sound negative. So just
00:06:51
live in the present moment without planning. This is not what I'm saying. But this is the challenge nowadays. How do you balance out vision?
00:07:04
vision with reality. Real the only thing real right now is this. That's real for us. I can feel it. You can hear it. You can sense
00:07:18
it. This is real. you nearly broke my table and I was concerned because um later on you will be proving to me that you can break this brick using your your mind and the
00:07:31
physical um preparation that you've done which I find really really interesting cuz I tried to smash this brick on the
00:07:37
floor and I couldn't. So all of the things you talk about understanding one's physical mind and and mastering it
00:07:42
but also understanding one's physical body will find out if you can smash through this brick. But on this point, I
00:07:49
I wanted to talk about an adjacent subject, which is really like purpose, what to do with one's life. And if we're
00:07:56
spending a little bit too much time thinking off into the future um and not enough time thinking in the present
00:08:02
moment, I'm wondering how purpose and having a having a big dream for one's life fits into this equation and if we
00:08:09
should have a purpose and if so, how do we find our purpose? So absolutely there is the field of becoming conscious. Consciousness is a
00:08:20
big field. Then we have science is is another very very big field. So some say okay is it that consciousness creates matter or is it the other way around?
00:08:35
Which one is which one is the fundamental basis? What is the basis of our interaction? So the truth is the fact right now is regardless of science
00:08:46
no science how our evolution developed right now we are here your body my body we are here this is what we are having right now at the same time in the way of how
00:09:00
this lifestyle at the moment is we won't have more than 50 more years to go in that body so very simple without believing living without any
00:09:13
religious aspect. Once again, the truth is the lifetime of what you carry right now and what I carry right now, it's limited. And now just imagine you would
00:09:25
be let's say the director of your own movie. Jump out of the body and watch yourself right now. You are sitting like with Shi. We sit on the same table and
00:09:37
you are writing your story. How do you want to write the story? You want to afterwards, after this podcast, you want to like feel uncomfortable, feel unsafe, feel
00:09:51
unloved, feel like being just unsatisfied with the whole life, cry or anything like this or how do you imagine what is a a a really nice way of living
00:10:03
for you the next 50 years. So and based on that purpose can be different. You say I do like the travel.
00:10:14
I I do like to invest this lifetime in this body to have the feeling at least that I can contribute something to all the fellow um brothers and sisters that
00:10:26
are around there. It makes me like I wake up I like to do it. It gives me purpose. So it is something very very personal. And which also means that in a way
00:10:39
speaking in in these terms right now I do not believe that every human being has the same purpose when it comes to this type of purpose but now there's another type of
00:10:55
purpose which is more or less personally for me why do I think that in the first place we have been put with all these
00:11:07
possibilities and uh positively said I do think it is a blessing being able to just experience. It's a blessing that we have
00:11:20
been granted the possibility of simply experiencing what this existence is capable of creating. including
00:11:35
everything, including the joy, including the happiness, including the tears, including the heartbreaks, all of this
00:11:43
without the separation. Whether you prefer one area or not, the one sometimes the one goes with
00:11:51
the other. But the purpose in a way is just be and experience. The only thing that happens and which is a big part nowadays is if
00:12:05
you take your current existence too serious. If you completely base your identity, your
00:12:17
being on what you think you are. But like I said, it's just a picture right now. Yes. But just sometimes make it very simple. jump out
00:12:28
of yourself and be the director. Be the director of this avatar and then it just opens another perspective because in that moment you
00:12:42
just realize it's like a movie. Not everything is always positive but in the moment where there
00:12:49
are times of struggle still not being caught inside your own creation identity identity illusion of the self different
00:13:02
expressions for that it's a very helpful way of thinking let's put it like this because there are so many people that say they are struggling to find meaning in their life or they feel purposelessness And you know, I get so
00:13:15
many messages from people all over the world saying that they um they're saying things like, "Is this it? Is this all my
00:13:22
life is?" So, this is literally also one one point that you just mentioned is that it isn't there more. That has always been a part that
00:13:35
followed me along the way. Yeah. Especially now in the last three four years after social media the algorithm of social media really started also
00:13:47
pushing pushing us quite out there. More requests were coming of doing workshops, of doing podcasts, of teaching here, of teaching there, of
00:14:01
making television show, of participating in movies. And of course all together with this doors start to open, different things start to come in. But at some
00:14:15
point I just couldn't believe that this is supposed to be the purpose because it all still had to do like had to do with
00:14:28
doing the constant doing. Yeah. And there I felt in my life now looking at this this couldn't be it. So I I look for alternatives always and
00:14:41
always again especially feeling that along the way of what you would say achieving something being recognized at something. Yeah. But the there's a there's another side that goes hand in
00:14:53
hand with it that the public doesn't see. There were times I could simply be surrounded with like thousands thousands
00:15:01
of people but still feel lonely. is not what you're surrounded with, it's with what you are connected. Yeah. And there I felt like
00:15:13
there is always again this type of force. What is it that drives you on? Going outwards, going outwards,
00:15:21
going outwards, you lose yourself. But this self is the only thing that can give you connection in this life. And what do you need to be connected to then? You talked about
00:15:34
being surrounded by thousands and being lonely and it's really about what you're connected to. What does one need to be
00:15:40
connected to? Maybe before I answer you this question, there's one thing I maybe want to like
00:15:47
mention beforehand. So when I went to elementary school and also during my school time, I actually for example
00:15:54
joined Christian Christian lesson. Yeah. So by my parents I grew up with Buddhist
00:16:03
tradition let's say from the martial art training I also got introduced into so-called Zen Buddhism because my father always told me look son we are here in a foreign
00:16:16
country you're a foreigner it's always better to have friends than to have enemies that's why I made always friends
00:16:22
with everyone meaning I had a lot of Russian friends I had a lot of Arab Arabic friends. I had a lot of Turkish friends. Multicultural also meaning at some point
00:16:34
I also got like introduced into Islam. Bottom line is taking all of this knowledge from the
00:16:41
past into my mind. No matter from which angle I'm watching right now, I do believe that we all have a source.
00:16:57
There is a source. So whether you call that source is the universe, whether you call the source it is the God, whether this source is is
00:17:10
the the the infinite energy, I don't know. There's so many different expressions to
00:17:16
it. But when I look at all these teachings, all are always pointing at one and the same thing.
00:17:23
Let's just take the expression of yin and yang. Yes, the symbol everybody knows in the world. And there is that nice saying yin and yang have a
00:17:35
mother. The mother sometimes simply being illustrated as one circle. So yin and yang as the expression from duality, polarity,
00:17:46
existence of number two. Yeah. Where do the two come from? They must come from one.
00:17:53
So simple like in our way you are there I am here one two where do we come from there must be something that we have as a common denominator and this source is the only
00:18:06
thing that can connect us because it's not your family it's not my family they're still different that is not enough going just looking at we are
00:18:20
humans animals name. Whatever and whoever gave us the possibility to be here is the same who gave you the permission is the same who
00:18:33
gave me the permission and the blessing. And this is what I think this is the level of mind. This is the level of connection that never leaves you
00:18:46
lonely. This this is the one that I that I mean being connected to the source. Yes. Now, for someone that is listening to this and is confused at this juncture
00:18:56
and they're asking themselves, what is that source? You've described it in in many potential ways, but it's the my attempt at describing it is it is
00:19:08
ultimately where we came from. That is that is the source. Is there a better way of describing it for people that
00:19:13
might be unfamiliar with the concept? First of all, I cannot speak without it and it would make sense to everyone.
00:19:21
That's already the first very very difficult part. That's why my intention is never to say what is it. The only
00:19:30
thing I can do is to to like give pointers. But ultimately there's only one person who will be able to find it out and it's not me finding it out for
00:19:40
somebody else. Everybody will find out for himself or herself. So every human being I do think is at a different level of his um of his growth of his
00:19:57
development and everybody gets what he needs exactly in the moment where he is in which is why I think everybody at this moment in time is exactly where he
00:20:09
needs to be for the next elevation to take place. The only thing you need to do is look at yourself right now and just find out what is
00:20:21
it that makes you unhappy. What exactly is it that at this moment in your life is binding you and restricting you from moving on?
00:20:34
And this is the same question for everyone. But the what you ultimately need to tackle is different. In the past, I sometimes played Super Mario and
00:20:46
Luigi. And it's the same. If you don't like manage level number one, you won't see level number two. The challenges
00:20:52
from number two won't come. The end boss from number two is not going to come. First, you finish level one. But once
00:21:00
number one is finished, you won't face the same stuff anymore. And there is something along
00:21:06
this line where it sometimes is like a game at the same time. Don't take it so serious helps. On that point of we're all struggling
00:21:19
with something based on the levels we're at. If you had to try and summarize what the common answer is to
00:21:26
what people are struggling with, what do you think that might be? I was thinking about my um my best friends cuz
00:21:32
sometimes it's easier to step outside of oneselves and look at others and I was reflecting on the conversations I've had
00:21:37
with them over the last couple of weeks about things they're struggling with. And I would define a lot of it as
00:21:43
wanting. So wanting to improve their businesses, wanting to improve maybe their romantic situations and find love. I would say the essence of it, the suffering seems to be striving for
00:21:57
something that they're unable to grab. Um, but I wondered if you had a different perspective on that. Two
00:22:03
things that right now would come to my mind. There is always the struggle between doing and
00:22:16
being. I would ask why are you doing? So why why do you want to go into action? Mostly there is a goal. The goal why do you have that
00:22:31
goal? because you're aiming at receiving something that in the moment where you where you have it apparently you are lacking. So that means this type of goal
00:22:43
setting in in my perspective I would automatically refer to it already that your goal setting already comes from a space of
00:22:54
lack. You feel like you're lacking something. That's why you need to do you feel like you're lacking something that's why you need to educate yourself
00:23:04
that okay so this is the one direction now coming back maybe sounds again too philosophical connected with the source there's nothing to add and
00:23:17
there's nothing to take away from you so apparently when somebody has this very very high ambition of doing something, achieving
00:23:30
something, then most likely the chances are there. This is not coming from a connection to the source. It is coming from the idea of
00:23:42
wanting to nourish or create an identity. An identity that represents something that you think you want to represent. Yeah. So this is the one area
00:23:54
the doing versus the being. And then the second thing is that ultimately goes hand in hand with this way of living your life is that you for that that one thing is
00:24:09
being forgotten along the along the line. The truth of that whoever and whatever you are
00:24:20
creating and are intending to create and are intending to gather now and and starting to um to attain things your attainment maximum it's
00:24:32
going to last 100 years. That is the other truth. So, and I do believe people understand exactly what I
00:24:45
said. But there comes the fight now again. The fight between Yes. between this very strong identity that wants to just maintain
00:24:59
itself and the other side of just forget about your identity. Be as you are. That's it. No matter what you're going to attain,
00:25:10
you have it for 100 years afterward is gone. So just be don't stress yourself too much with what you don't have. Well,
00:25:22
unfortunately, and this is always going to continue like this. Unfortunately, there are always three ways how you
00:25:29
going to learn this. Sometimes people just need to have the experience to realize okay I did it I got it now I realize I don't need it but
00:25:44
in the first place you need to have it. First way of learning second way of learning you do
00:25:50
trust a certain teacher you do trust a certain guide or a mentor you just copy the way how he's living his life. So your approach is you
00:26:01
just copy because you see oh apparently the person lives a good life. So you just copy. Second way of learning. And
00:26:09
the third way of learning is you maybe have like a teacher or a master. He tells you some wise words. You
00:26:15
contemplate about it. You think about it and because you were thinking about it,
00:26:20
it already puts you on the alternative path without you needing to try it for yourself. So, and there will always be
00:26:28
people in this world in these three categories because you know simply said telling somebody look don't don't put your hand in the fire. They're still going to do it but
00:26:43
later is when they do it like two times three times then it's done. But a lot of people never get the thing that they're
00:26:48
pursuing. So, you know, someone might say I want to be a millionaire or I want to have a this Lamborghini sports car.
00:26:56
The majority of people who aspire to that statistically won't ever reach it. So they'll spend their whole life just
00:27:02
in pursuit. They'll never get the lesson of path one where you try it and you realize
00:27:07
that. So but maybe that is also already the lesson involved in this person's life. You have this goal in the mind. you you put all your energy, all your
00:27:25
effort into trying to achieve that. You're 20 years old, you're trying. You're 30 years old, you're trying. 40 years already, you're still trying. 50
00:27:35
years, you still haven't let go of the idea. Well, at some point hopefully you see exactly that that senseless approach of how you
00:27:51
personally already wasted 30 years of following a goal with the conclusion of two things. Number one, you haven't
00:27:57
achieved it yet or number two, you didn't had the right way of achieving it. But the bottom line is you have two
00:28:05
ways now. What to do? let go of the idea that you need it and and redirect your life or redirect your approach of how you still want to
00:28:19
achieve that goal if you don't want to let go of it. But apparently one of these two things is is not right.
00:28:27
And the more you want your life now, let's say in the future to be quite different than what you're used to, the more you need to be able to let
00:28:40
go. Let go of patterns. Let go of the way of thoughts that you had in the in the last years and months. Now, if nothing changes about that, there will not come a new life.
00:28:54
So many of us live in patterns, the same cycles, and we we end up getting the same results and those results result in unhappiness and suffering. And I was speaking to a friend over the weekend
00:29:06
about how one of our other friends has lived in a bit of a pattern and they've been able to unable to find love and companionship because of some things that happened when they were younger. I
00:29:18
think they were bullied. So they have this sort of deeper sense of having to prove themselves and insecurity. And
00:29:24
this shows up all the time because when they meet someone, they present a facade which might not necessarily be accurate.
00:29:32
And then very quickly the relationship ends because it was never real in the first place. But this person's now aware
00:29:38
of it, but it's still happening over and over again. They're still living out the same pattern in their life and still
00:29:43
getting the same results and dissatisfaction. So when we think about trauma at an early age that results in
00:29:50
this sort of cyclical pattern of getting same behavior, same results. I wondered if you had a perspective on how one can
00:29:56
let go of that and therefore break the pattern. So let me draw you a picture. I was a four fouryear-old boy having father and
00:30:12
mother Asian origin being refugees from Vietnam Laos meaning they they ran away from the
00:30:24
war coming to Europe coming to Germany with the idea that for the children to have a better security on the one side feeling more safe in Germany without the
00:30:37
instability that they witness in their own country. And so of course father and mother with this idea put a lot of pressure in early ages
00:30:47
already in terms of you need to be good at school, you need to achieve, yeah, you need to prove yourself. So this is the education from father and mother. At the same time, with the age of four, I
00:31:00
went into a Shaolin kung fu school learning martial arts. And every martial artist practitioner probably knows teachers and masters usually are not the
00:31:12
ones telling you, "Oh, yes, you did that very good. Yes, very well." No, they they just say, "Okay, more, deeper, faster, harder." So bottom line is from
00:31:25
the age of four growing up the only thing that in the way I felt was actually you're never enough. No matter what I brought home in terms of grades if it was a B why was it
00:31:38
not A? If it was a A why is it not A+? If I did already 100 push-ups question is why don't you make 150? Yeah. If I was fast already it was still not fast enough. So constantly this type of never
00:31:52
enough. Okay. Ultimately meaning and this is all now I can just tell you 40 years later but now I can see it. Ultimately meaning that at some point
00:32:03
this little boy started simply to build up a shield. Build up such a shield to be less dependent anymore on what other people think about me.
00:32:19
Meaning I just started to rely everything in my life purely on what I think at the same time building up emotional blockages and emotional walls
00:32:31
nothing to penetrate and at the same time also nothing to express to the outside.
00:32:37
So now having entered into like a very new circumstance in my life where I need to take into consideration the opinion and the emotional state yeah of my
00:32:51
beloved of my partner of my son. I can feel how my old patterns sometimes are still trying to sneak in. And so the only thing to do is what to
00:33:07
do to break patterns. Number one, you need to see you have one. And number two, you need to replace old patterns,
00:33:14
which ultimately mean patterns. It's habitual behavior. It's it's habits. How do you build habits by continuous behavioral patterns that you
00:33:26
continuously do? So there is something about consistency and continuity that ultimately builds a pattern. So and this is now where for example in
00:33:37
this field of martial arts that's exactly what it's about consistency of having a training
00:33:46
regimen every day. This is yeah it's not helpful to like six days per week do nothing and then you go one day to the gym and and
00:33:57
give your everything. No, it's better you have some type of consistency throughout the whole day. This is what builds patterns, healthy
00:34:08
patterns. Yeah. And so similar like this I would describe now what is somebody supposed to do? Number one, look at yourself and see yourself. We are all
00:34:20
not perfect, but according to the circumstances that you are facing right now today, what type of character do you think with what do you want to equip
00:34:32
your character that he is able to go through this current times in the best possible
00:34:40
manner? What is not useful for you anymore, try to get rid of it. and get your new skills in and then train those and then train of course those new
00:34:51
patterns. We don't often think about training some of the virtues that we want to acquire and the patterns we want
00:34:58
to have. We we kind of think that we have to select them and then we'll do our best to live them. But the idea that
00:35:04
I might have to train certain new behaviors is a really compelling one because you're right, in the context of any physical development, I have to go to the gym and I have to do
00:35:15
my repetitions to build that thing, that strength. But I um was just thinking about creating a training regimen for for certain behaviors um and new patterns that I want in my
00:35:26
life and trying to make sure I do them every day, which is not something that I've I've ever considered. Three months
00:35:33
ago, you became a dad to a young boy to a young son. Yes. Um, so you're now in the process of raising a man yourself. And there's a lot of dialogue at the moment in the UK, but also just broadly
00:35:45
in the Western world around what it is to be a man and how to to raise men. I think much of this dialogue has been
00:35:50
sparked by some shocking statistics that show young men are struggling now more than ever in various ways. Um, I think
00:35:57
the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45 is themselves. And also there's just an overarching sense of I
00:36:04
think purposeless meaninglessness that they're struggling in school more so than women are. Some forecasts predict
00:36:09
that for every two women that graduate university or college only one man will graduate um in the near future. And it's pretty it's pretty shocking. So when I think about the way that you're intent
00:36:21
on raising your young your young man, but also what it is that young men in particular are missing in their lives, I
00:36:29
wondered if you had had an answer from this moment. There's one thing I can tell by myself what I would absolutely prevent
00:36:41
when it would come, let's say, to the education or what I share with my son. Like I said, I felt I was never enough. There was always something that additionally needed to be done. So,
00:36:54
which literally means for me for my son there is nothing to be done. There is nothing he has to achieve. If there if there would be
00:37:06
something it is stay connected. So in terms of I don't see myself as somebody who is now having the responsibility to shape
00:37:20
my son. No, I only provide the framework. I try to provide the most safe framework for my son. He can try out whatever he wants. If he fails, he
00:37:33
will learn by himself to get up again and keep trying. So you know to fail and then to continue. I just want to build up this framework as good as I can to make him
00:37:47
feel safe. Yeah. But trial and error is what I do believe is the way how you find yourself. So definitely not being spoiled but at the same time also not
00:38:01
like keeping something away from him where where I make him feel like he's not enough. So ultimately I do think in the modern way of how to express it in
00:38:11
all these attachment theories very simple of course it's the secure the secure way of being a
00:38:20
stable own selfmade self-sufficient individual who knows his own value. Why? Because he failed and got up. Why do you
00:38:34
think so many young men are struggling? No. Whatever shows up right now at at this moment. Yeah. 2025. It didn't start in 2025.
00:38:54
Whatever appears right now sometimes it's the result of how things have been handled, how the education has been from previous years, whether it's the last 10 years, whether it's the last 20 years.
00:39:06
So it's not necessarily what did the generation right now do did wrong, let's say. No, it's also the question of what did the previous generation missed to
00:39:20
keep passing on that ultimately led to the result that we have nowadays. So, and this is the question where where I do think it's
00:39:33
multi-layered. You gave a a TED talk in 2020 almost 5 years ago now about the five hindrances What are the five hindrances? You
00:39:46
describe them as five mental states that are holding us back. Let's put the context first. Take it simple. Just you have a
00:39:59
goal setting. You set yourself whatever goal it is, you have your goal. So your mind is set on the goal.
00:40:08
Normally the five hindrances now simply describe there are five mental states that would actually make it difficult for you to still keep your goal in the
00:40:21
mind whatever goal that is. So the number one for example is called sensual desire. Sensual desire means you are too
00:40:35
receptive for any type of pleasurable feeling in regards to your five senses. You're being too quickly attract when you see something
00:40:48
beautiful. You're too quickly attract if you smell something tasty. You're too quickly distracted
00:40:55
when like you have like physical touch. Yeah. So the first hindrance means you you're losing the goal already because in the moment something pleasurable is being presented to you. Your your mind
00:41:09
has shifted already. So that means that first mental state only means look be aware of what
00:41:17
is it that you are very easily attracted to. It doesn't say it's bad. It doesn't
00:41:23
say it's good. It just says in the context of you want to reach your goal, how to reach the goal the quickest, be focused with your energy. Meaning be focused with the mind. Don't lose the
00:41:36
goal from the mind. Whatever you do from the moment of waking up until the evening, whatever you do, keep the goal
00:41:44
in the mind. This is the quickest way of making this goal become real. Number two, simply said, you don't like discomfort. You you don't like
00:41:57
challenges. You don't like hardship. In that TEDex talk, I described it like you're like walking
00:42:03
along the path and then suddenly it starts to rain, but you don't like rain. So instead of you just continue follow the path, you are starting to make your
00:42:16
mind busy about what you don't like. Yeah. And already that means the mind starts to shift again losing the focus of the goal. So this
00:42:28
idea num hindrance number one, hindrance number two, actually you can easily say
00:42:33
it like this. This is the goal. Two things not to do. Spend your time enjoying. Don't do this.
00:42:45
Or spend your time rejecting that things are not the way how you imagine them to be. Both of these things, one is you
00:42:57
follow pleasure and the other thing you're rejecting any challenges. Both of these things is something to be aware of when it comes to stay focused along the
00:43:08
path. When we think about this first hindrance of sensual desire, is this where discipline comes into play? The
00:43:15
idea of discipline because that word is often used, but it's often lacking a clear definition, but also a clear
00:43:22
understanding of how one attains and exhibits discipline. Because when I think about the things that require me
00:43:28
to have discipline, it is these desires. It is the five gates. It is something I
00:43:34
want to eat. It is maybe um some kind of touch that I want to have etc etc. So is
00:43:40
this where discipline is important? No. Even for example like in the book or even now when we talk about we have the five hindrances, we have the 14 virtues,
00:43:55
we have the eight rules, we have the four here and the 13 here and the six. Okay, it's a very good guideline because it makes it easy for us humans to have
00:44:09
something like really structured. There are there are four steps there are six steps there are five steps
00:44:15
whatsoever what I want to say is just in this way it's also that only discipline wouldn't be helpful if in the first place you do not possess the
00:44:31
ability to see it to realize it to be aware of Meaning you have discipline but you are never aware actually when is the moment
00:44:46
actually appearing right now that this sensory desire is hitting in. You're not aware of it. So the discipline wouldn't help you if you don't have this awareness. So always meaning I do think
00:45:01
that there are different different qualities of the mind that come into play for you to to adjust yourself properly. I was
00:45:15
thinking about my friend when you mentioned awareness there the friend I described earlier who exhibits the same
00:45:21
pattern and although they might be aware of the pattern they might say you know I have this pattern I don't believe
00:45:28
they're aware of the moment where that pattern begins like this the singular trigger which
00:45:35
sends them in that in that loop so I was and I was thinking the same about myself I was like there's some behaviors that I have that I don't like and although I'm
00:45:43
aware of them In the moment when it happens, I might not be conscious that it's the pattern has begun that the someone has said something, something has happened and then you go on that
00:45:54
pattern or you reach into the refrigerator at 1:00 a.m. in the morning and grab the thing or you end up being
00:46:00
triggered by something. So I wondered if there's a practice at all to become increase our awareness of the trigger
00:46:07
moment. Yes. This is for example where I very much appreciate so many different teachings that are meanwhile existing freely
00:46:19
available for example through the social media including breath work including yoga practices all of them if you have a proper
00:46:29
teacher I'm very sure that this is exactly what is starting to raise your awareness for something that in this field when you are spending some time we refer to as energy. If you're not aware
00:46:43
of your own inner layer, let's say like this, and somebody insults you, it can happen that like somebody so somebody
00:46:54
insulted me and then I just started exploding. Yeah. But the fact is before something explodes, before I explode, first of all, something must be
00:47:05
lit already. the the the small little flame already must have been lit. So when I already knew who is it that I'm going to meet maybe that already knowing hearing
00:47:18
the name from him already was ah was already the starting point of a potential explosion to happen. Yeah. So then ah this was where when this little
00:47:31
flame already started being there and then you literally can feel things like this. You can feel when something is has
00:47:38
been injected, let's say, into you when something starts to arise because when the fire is already too big, when the whole house is burning, you're not going to you're not going to
00:47:49
[Music] um put down that fire in any way. You can only put down all of these fires before things come too big. meaning we
00:48:01
must find a way to be directly grabbing the root, grabbing the core or grabbing the source of the explosion. And the only way that I know
00:48:14
is you need to become more sensitive for everything that goes on in your body, in your surrounding, in everything. This is where for me
00:48:30
awareness does play a role and yes and especially when it comes to becoming aware of your emotional states.
00:48:44
This is absolutely inner work. This has nothing to do with doing work out here. It's inner work.
00:48:51
How does one begin the journey of doing that inner work? You give trust in the vision that when
00:49:00
you are investing your time right now to become more aware of yourself, of your emotional state,
00:49:07
then this is going to benefit your life. That's the starting point. You believe in it. You believe in it. So you don't
00:49:15
do it because somebody tells you you're supposed to do it. You do it because you genuinely believe this is the way. Yeah.
00:49:23
I want to know more about myself. I want to really understand what is it that I am made out of. You want to figure out is there
00:49:37
something inside of myself. I tried to look away for many years but I know it's still there and was afraid to look at it. All of these things. There's only one way to make
00:49:50
yourself free. You need to become transparent. Yeah. If there are if there are spots inside of ourself where
00:50:02
there's no light yet, it can't be. It can't be. Bringing light to everything that has been in the dark. This is another area of the past.
00:50:22
which at some point everybody will face. Yeah. And even though that is is even though that this is not just like a saying but just the
00:50:38
idea whatever you're doing whatever you're thinking whether people are around you or you are
00:50:45
alone just imagine there is one who always sees what you're doing. So live your life based on that. And that person is you
00:51:00
also. Who else is it? It is the elevated version of you. But it's true. It's you
00:51:08
and you. Once I've shone a light on that area of me, so I have greater awareness of its
00:51:14
existence and it's now transparent. Is it a case then of what is the work I then have to do to make a change in that in that context? So, we're talking here
00:51:26
about managing one's emotions and getting a grip of one's emotions so you can avoid being triggered or
00:51:34
perpetrating the same patterns in your life that have led you to the same outcomes. First, you you believe that
00:51:40
it's possible to to change. You gain a greater awareness of the parts of yourself that you've kept in the dark that you might want to change. And then what does one do from there? Because I
00:51:54
came let's say from this martial art field. Yes. Also meaning the Dao is teaching or the principles of yin and yang have always been the part in
00:52:06
there. Let me put it like this. Whatever you are thinking, saying or doing has a consequence. So this consequence that
00:52:25
you have created or that you are intending to create, ask yourself what is that consequence actually? Does it make you yourself?
00:52:38
Does it make your being, your interaction with people, does it make it feel more
00:52:46
light, more pleasurable, more enjoying, more free, more nourishing? Or is the result that you are about to
00:52:59
create going in the other direction? Meaning you're nourishing conflict. You are nourishing aggression. Feeling like
00:53:06
you are carrying the suffering of the world on your shoulder. Feeling like there's a burden on you. Feeling like
00:53:14
there's a stone on your heart. Feeling like you're being put under pressure. See all of these expressions have
00:53:20
something to do with density. Have something to do with pressure. Yeah. But then when we look at no matter which tradition it is, Buddhism,
00:53:33
enlightenment, freedom, liberation, elevation, no matter what it is. You see, it is just two forces in the world. Two forces in the world. One
00:53:47
aiming for limitlessness and the other one aiming for restricting and very clear
00:53:55
boundaries. These are the two forces. So, and this is exactly now turning the view upon yourself. What are you made out of? Your your patterns, the emotional states that
00:54:11
follow you within a week. Within a week, looking back the last week, what was the most dominating
00:54:19
emotion you felt inside yourself? Was it one that had the character of limiting yourself in a way or were you in an emotional state like through the week it
00:54:31
was light it was liberated free uplifting joyful which of these so and this simply gives you exactly from what to what do I think you need to transform
00:54:48
yourself if you want this if you want this. So, and why do I think that this is the
00:55:00
goal? Lightness. Lightness. Let's just imagine after this conversation, your best friend or your best girlfriend going to ask you, so how was this
00:55:11
conversation? And even so that we are maybe just talking 3 hours, four hours. Even if you spend two days long
00:55:20
explaining to your best friend how this conversation was, it's not the truth. It is not the truth. How is this conversation? How is
00:55:34
this conversation? Even right now, we cannot even speak about it. I tell you how this conversation right now really is. Yes.
00:55:49
How you want to describe this? You only you will be the only one ever knowing how this is. It doesn't matter who's going to ask
00:56:03
you afterwards what you're going to tell them. You want to feel it, you need to experience it. There is no other way. And this is the this is the nature of
00:56:16
words. This is why these these ancient stories come. For example, one master and his student walk up on the mountain early in the morning. Then the sun rises
00:56:27
up and then the student says, "Oh, master, what a beautiful sunrise." And then like the master like slaps him and
00:56:35
never takes him to a walk uh anymore. Then you say, "Why was the teacher so hard to him? Because in the moment where you give something that you
00:56:47
experience a word, you limit its nature. You you you naturally limit its nature. So how does this now translate
00:57:00
into into what we can do with this knowledge? Whatever is being dense and it's limiting I don't think it's the
00:57:15
way I think everything for us to practice is look beyond limitations look beyond the words look beyond the shape practice to
00:57:31
look beyond the superficiality of things because this is where the meaning lies or this is where part of the part of the realization lies.
00:57:46
I think in my life I I want to be light, but the way that my life tends to operate is I might aspire for that, but then I fall into almost a bit of an
00:57:59
autopilot and I run the same pattern throughout the week and the same I respond in the same ways to the same external external stim stimulus. So although might one might aspire to be
00:58:12
freer and to be less agitated or to be you know all those things I quickly fall back into my old path my old autopilot because life does seem to come at me
00:58:24
pretty quickly. Um if I look at my calendar it's just full every day. So, I wake up and like I woke up this morning and I'm like with one eye open looking at my phone schedule to figure out like
00:58:36
what day it is and what that means and what I have to do and what's just happened and oh, the podcast has gone
00:58:42
out and I've got this email from this person and there's my calendar or when I'm late for by 20 minutes and although
00:58:48
I might have the day before said to myself that this week we're going to be joyful and light and free, it feels like
00:58:54
the week hits me like a truck and then boom, autopilot. So our goal is set in a way and now comes the next realization. Just because your goal is set doesn't mean this life
00:59:07
is going to give you exactly what you're looking for. meaning you really must make sure how important is that goal really for
00:59:21
you because yeah I uh I I witness it in my life as well. So at some point I you know when it started become a lot public you know the
00:59:35
calendar went full and at some point I said to myself okay now it's becoming too full let's start to let's start to settle down a bit let's start to stay a
00:59:45
little bit more in the background. Yeah. But then still like requests coming in still and then you were think ah come
00:59:52
this one still. Yeah. But ultimately it's really up to you how much do you really want it and it is going to continue like this until you will
01:00:04
ultimately come to the point and it's going to come quickly I do think yeah where you realize for yourself that that it's an
01:00:19
infinite that it's that it's an infinite direction of possibible abilities. They
01:00:24
will never run out. But you will still have to figure out what is it that you really want from your
01:00:32
life. People will say, "Well, I want to have a mansion and I would like to have a private jet and I would like to have
01:00:38
a beautiful partner or I'd like to have a trophy." Valid. Absolutely understandable as well.
01:00:51
But I do think that this universe is going to let you realize your lesson in the way how you need
01:01:02
it. Yeah. You're going to have your mansion. You're going to have your beautiful, beautiful wife. You're going to have it all. There is something that's going to put you back on
01:01:15
track. There is something that's going to put you back on track. Telling you, you need to readjust.
01:01:23
It is why why why why it has always been like this. We come with nothing. We go with
01:01:38
nothing. What does it mean? This universe is going to make sure that you going to go with nothing. Which means at some point before it's
01:01:50
time for you to go, you will be faced with the fact of learning the necessity of letting go of what you have attained in this lifetime. And if you have not learned
01:02:04
and have not understood that this is going to come, then I think it's a very very hard
01:02:11
awakening. It's a very painful awakening to realize to have this realization that you have spent 70 years 80 years following your goal and
01:02:25
now there is no other choice. You have to let go. So yeah is not my invention is just my observation. And this is why in now maybe let's jump
01:02:45
a little bit there are literally in the ancient traditions in the text of chan Buddhism Zen Buddhism is very simply said like this. How do you know that you
01:02:58
have practiced this past this tradition in a in a in a decent manner? It is simply by feeling inside yourself how easy, how
01:03:12
willing are you actually to let go of what you have. If you feel that you are mentally
01:03:20
attached to still things, still mentally attached to possession, you're far you're you're far away from from the state of being what
01:03:32
this chan Buddhism, what this chan teaching is uh wanting to like reveal to you. What it also means is if you have the
01:03:44
possibility of attaining everything that you were speaking about, you are absolutely happy to do
01:03:52
so. You are you can own everything. It's never about promoting to have this is not good. No, but to have attachment at least in this type of
01:04:04
tradition will have consequence. So it's not about what is it that you possess. It's about what of these possessions are possessing
01:04:16
you. That's it. And therefore, is it possible to possess things and to pursue the possession of things while also having a relationship with them
01:04:29
where they don't possess you? I.e. Can I go in pursuit of getting a what's something that one might want? A sports car. And is it possible to then have the
01:04:41
sports car and pursue it without it possessing me and therefore me avoiding the consequences that come with that
01:04:47
unhealthy relationship to possession. Cuz in your life there must be things that you're pursuing and you get those things. So your book sells a million copies. your YouTube channel
01:04:59
does exceptionally well. You pursued those things. Let's start with a sports car. Okay. Um it depends on the rest of the circumstances. So, let me put it like
01:05:12
this. If the salary that you have, for example, is just as much that you can pay your rent. Nevertheless, you want to have that sports car. Therefore, take a
01:05:24
loan, then buy the sports car. It's very probable you're going to be very attached to the car. Yeah. Simply because out of the out of the situation
01:05:36
you bought it from. Yeah. You didn't buy it from a from a position of abundance.
01:05:41
Yeah. So this is already not a good starting point to afford something that you actually cannot afford. So
01:05:49
differently it is when you have the possibilities and you just spend the time and spend also the money on the
01:06:00
sports car and see it what it is and realistically see it what how much time you let's say spend with it. I do think the excitement in the beginning is there for a week, maybe a month, that's
01:06:13
already long, but it's fading. And at some point, there will even be a day you don't even see it cuz you're busy. Then there will be a week when you see the car once standing around somewhere. And
01:06:27
then there will be a months passing by where you are traveling the world and you're not even sure anymore when was it
01:06:32
the last time that you were riding it. So, and these are things like when you observe them and actually realize yeah it's the truth. This is how the how the
01:06:43
development of things with possessions is in the beginning it's always like you want to have you want to have and then
01:06:49
they fade. go and diving into this type of mentality of really understanding wanting. Wanting is the
01:07:02
one part and then realizing how is life really. Do you need it? Is it necessary?
01:07:08
Can you afford it is the second part. It just opens another perspective and then
01:07:14
you just decide for yourself. Yeah. But so whether something is possessing you or you can possess something without being attached to it very much is linked to all of
01:07:26
this. From which position did you buy it from? Did you attain it from? And then the second thing is how much time do you literally really spend with it? The second of the five hindrances is ill
01:07:40
will. A negative emotion such as dislike stops you from chasing a goal. Can you give me some context on this one? What do you mean by ill will?
01:07:54
Look, it's I make it super simple when it comes to the five hindrances literally is like
01:08:01
this. No, whatever whatever appears in our life. If I have my goal set right now,
01:08:09
what you are not supposed to do is to witness something. And now if you have like the
01:08:17
number one sensual desire, sensory desire, what we tend to do is we like start to pull things towards us. Okay, that's number one. The second
01:08:29
thing, what not to do, this is what it all belongs to that family of non-judgment is like when ill will
01:08:37
something appears in your life. Something you witness. Yeah. You meet a person you don't want to meet. You get a
01:08:43
message, you don't want to read that message. whatever it is and you try to avoid it by doing actions in order to
01:08:49
push it away from you. So what it ultimately means is don't do any of them because whatever you try to hold on to the nature of thing is that this is
01:09:01
happening swinging away. is going to move away from you and whatever you try to avoid and push away from you is just a question of time until it's going to move like pretty
01:09:15
close towards you. It's going to come towards you. It's going to come towards you. Okay? So that
01:09:24
means also in the way of how it's expressed, don't touch the water. If you don't want to
01:09:31
have a life that is too shaky, don't touch the water because in the moment you touch, your touch is the initiation for the
01:09:43
ripples to appear. Same way you want to follow that goal. You want to have it easy along that goal. Don't touch any additional water
01:09:55
along your goal. Don't touch it because you like something and don't touch it because you dislike something because
01:10:02
when you walk towards the goal and you do here and here and here, you you're just going to ripple your whole
01:10:10
surroundings which ultimately means your energy is being just drawn away from your initial goal. That's how I would
01:10:16
say it is an ill will is one of these expressions of you don't like something and then you invest the energy there. You like something and it draws your energy back to there. And ill will is
01:10:30
similar in this category belonging to this idea of don't push, don't pull. as you've
01:10:39
become more popular and you've got millions and millions of views across the internet. Your TED talk, I think
01:10:45
from the link, one of the links that I saw had some 20 million views and it probably has tens of more millions of
01:10:51
views all over the internet. Um, there's going to be more and more people sending you messages, interacting
01:10:58
with you, and saying amazing things, saying not so amazing things. We experienced this obviously as a podcaster. you just you get you receive all kinds of feedback from everybody. When you think about how
01:11:10
you manage that and you manage other people's opinion of you does this tie into ill will and I guess the ultimate question is do you care what people think about you? So there was a time I
01:11:24
cared a lot a lot a lot a lot very much but within the last five six years I really had my hard lessons being perfectly honest. Number one thing I need to learn is also to
01:11:40
really not take things too deep into consideration especially from people that I've never met in my life. Number one that is the first area I needed to learn which means all the everything
01:11:53
that's on social media everything that is publicly available. This is one thing why because what they judge or if they judge or what they comment they can only
01:12:05
comment on the character that is actually being available to them. So which is ultimately what which is for example also let's say that person yeah named Shuhungi on that cover
01:12:21
always like having a good uniform in a way representing something yes but I'm simply not limited to only this type of
01:12:34
representation and this is something really really important in general now to to bring out there to the world. It is
01:12:46
not it is not good. It is not helpful if this idea of putting people on on how you call it on on higher pedestal or or podest is not a good
01:13:06
idea. The idea of raising somebody up to be our guru, raising somebody up to be our
01:13:14
master, raising somebody up, oh yes, he is the he is the special one. All of these things are doing exactly the opposite of what I'm trying to bring into the world
01:13:28
of what I do believe is the key especially in this times right now worldwide. It is to become aware of the real and the
01:13:41
fake. This is the this is the current situation that we're in that the threshold that the line between whether something is real or whether something is artificial or not real. It's becoming
01:13:56
so incredibly slim that line. This is why at the moment our world seems seems so fractioned. There are the ones which are
01:14:09
completely about let's go into the nature and then there's the other fraction which is all about going into
01:14:15
the technology into everything that's available nowadays where ultimately meaning at some point you will be able to just spend your whole life in your living room cuz everything you want to
01:14:28
see and want to partially experience you just call it into your living room. It's
01:14:34
going to be possible at some point in time. So why how do we get to the point? Yeah,
01:14:42
exactly. Because of this, it's not good if people raise you up and make you unhuman. And this is what is being attacked. So this is number one. That
01:14:55
takes a little bit the pressure off from me to take it too seriously because I just know they are seeing something but it's a fraction of what I am. This
01:15:08
number one second realization at the same time was also not helpful or wasn't helpful and or let's say was also a lesson for
01:15:21
me even the close people even the very close people in my surrounding that stayed with me for 8 n years sometimes even such close people
01:15:33
don't know who you are can also happen hurts double as much as people saying something about you that don't know you. Now you have people that you thought know you and still they didn't get you.
01:15:47
Also very painful. So ultimately leading only to one thing. It only leads to one thing. You would have right now the impression of so what's the only way? Just go your
01:15:59
way regardless of what people think in a way. Yes. But have understanding for them and and no ill will against them.
01:16:14
Have empathy for their lack of understanding. Yes, that is ultimately the only thing
01:16:22
that me as a as a result for the current state of being the that I took as my consequence.
01:16:33
Yes. So be careful, be very aware who are you letting into your circle and ultimately rely on yourself and maintain
01:16:45
your sorry to say, but it's the heart. Maintain the purity of your intention. One of the things that I've I've noticed in your work is that you have this huge emphasis on being able to
01:17:00
focus oneself. And when I talked to you about this brick, I think just before we started recording, you said to me that
01:17:05
the average person on the street might not be able to break it. But if someone was really, really strong, they might be able to break it. However, the key to
01:17:12
breaking this brick isn't strength necessarily. It's the ability to really really focus. And when we talked about
01:17:17
the five hindrances, they will sway us from focus. They will distract us from that ability to focus. So, you've
01:17:22
cultivated that ability to focus, which culminates in you being able to smash this brick with your hand. And it's not
01:17:29
necessarily a strength thing you're saying. It is this connection between mind and body focused at a particular
01:17:35
moment. Yes. So can you show me you smashing this brick? Absolutely. Do you do you put the the brick in the in the middle of the blocks or do you just put it there? Put it like this. Oh.
01:17:50
So okay. Okay. So chop it down on one side. Okay. Do you have another brick? Yes. There's
01:17:58
another one here. You're going to pick your brick. One is one is too easy. [Applause] hell.
01:18:34
[Applause] [Laughter] Damn. So, what were you doing then in the in the leadup to that? Just have your hands like here to the front.
01:18:47
If I touch you like this and only do here. Yeah. M see this like I don't have a good feeling for you. I don't have a good feeling for your body. Yeah. Because it's like it's superficial right
01:18:59
now. Mhm. What I do is like when I touch you know so it's not this type of touching you. When I touch you I literally try to sense your body
01:19:13
structure. Yeah. I I feel like inside you where is the tension? Where's the relaxation inside the body? So it's like we call it I'm reading your
01:19:25
body. I'm reading your body. How is it where is the energy locked? Where is it dense? Where is it loose? So the same I do with the stone. But when I when I touch the
01:19:37
stone, I literally feel inside like sounds funny, but I feel inside the structure of the of the stone. I feel the density of the stone in my
01:19:49
fingers and then I just see okay [Music] now. So I I I know how the energy is going to come down. I know how the energy is going to come down and then I just like see how does it fit together.
01:20:03
So on the one side I feel the structure of the stone. On the other side I know what type of energy is going to come in.
01:20:10
Those two I combine and then I just boom do it. That's it. And how does that translate
01:20:16
to life generally? Good question. Because we, you know, it's not a problem I have day-to-day, but that ability to understand the energy of something and the structure of
01:20:28
something and then really understand be able to cultivate your own focused energy when you need it.
01:20:36
I do. So, do you need to have this ability to live a proper life? I don't think so. But somebody who is able to break the stone like this definitely
01:20:48
possesses some type of skill set raises the probability that you can do something with that mindset in your
01:20:55
daily life. Which means already um the only way to do this is you know what consistency means. You know what patience
01:21:05
means. Yeah. you also knows what like endurance means or like training means and all of these character attributes that make it
01:21:16
possible to break the stone just also builds the foundation I would say to integrate this now into other areas of life yeah so it's not about the breaking
01:21:27
of the stone but at the same time it's also an expression of look the human your body is capable of doing a lot of things. Yeah. And this is just one of
01:21:39
them. There are so many extraordinary abilities that people can do nowadays, but all of them have one thing in common. You have a vision and you find a
01:21:50
proper way how to nourish that vision that the vision becomes real. Similar like this.
01:21:58
So this is a consequence of yes a long journey of several character traits and attributes which you've cultivated over a long period of time and this is just a a symptom or a
01:22:12
consequence of those things. You know that's that's exactly the thing similar like you know when yeah when nowadays
01:22:19
you look at any type of competition sports the event itself the competition is being recorded that one minute performance.
01:22:29
Yeah. Or that nine rings or that three three minutes. Yeah. Yeah. But everything that makes it possible for them to perform in that one minute on that show. Nobody sees what is lying in
01:22:44
front of there. Similar like this. Yeah. It's it's it's with less than one second
01:22:49
the stone is broken. Yeah. But took like a few years to be able to do that one second. And how long would it take me to learn how to do two bricks like you just
01:23:01
did then? How long do you think you would have to spend training me? You're looking at my hand. M because it's
01:23:08
important because it's literally not only about um it's not just about the focus of the mind. It literally is also
01:23:16
about building the density now physically speaking the density of the bone structure. So I I can just give you if you like a a little
01:23:26
example. What we do is this part and this part of the arm we just smash it like this. Oh my gosh. This is like a So like this. Okay. Okay. You just try like
01:23:40
one just go really. Oh my god. Your yours is like a steel. Yeah. And and this is what it is. Yeah. So it is changing you if you want.
01:23:55
You can like touch. You can feel it's Yeah. It's like steel. Mine's like um polyyrene in comparison to that. But well, yours just feels like steel. It felt like I was hitting a a a bar or
01:24:09
something. Okay. So, you've got to build up the strength. But still, to answer the question, I do
01:24:15
think 3 months, but dedicated training. Yeah. Mhm. And what would that training look like? So right now as I explained
01:24:25
before this is why I also like in the book I mentioned one of the grandmasters that I also learn a lot of the methods
01:24:31
from this is now let's say it's a stone yeah stone belonging to the family of earth because okay earth now in a in Asian tradition we have like the five
01:24:43
elements or the five transition phases wood earth metal fire water like these five elements So the proper training starts with the so-called wood training.
01:24:57
Okay. So we are using a lot of wooden material to actually condition our body. Yeah. So you're not going to break stones. You you break like first of all wooden things. Mhm. After wood is no
01:25:09
problem for you. Then we go to the next layer which is going to be stone. You know this was this was this one for
01:25:15
example. After stone comes metal. And so like this you we we go through all the layers until your body has increased in its abilities. You know the frequency of
01:25:27
wood, you know the frequency of stone, you know the frequency and vibration of metal. And this is how we increase our ability to just uh be able to to to
01:25:39
actually maintain our strength in the field of all five elements. You can break metal or you can hit metal. You can hit metal. You can hit metal. Okay. You can hit metal. Thank you. Fascinating. Thank
01:25:52
you. Thank you so much. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. A business is only as good as the people inside it.
01:25:58
So, how do you make sure you're hiring the best? Our sponsor, LinkedIn, can help you find these applicants quickly.
01:26:04
I believe in taking time to hire slowly, but I also understand that once you've decided to hire, you want to get the
01:26:09
ball rolling and get the best candidates in front of you to start interviewing. And that's where paying to promote your
01:26:15
role on LinkedIn makes all the difference because you'll get applicants seven times faster than if you post your
01:26:21
job for free. And even though slower, more considered hiring is important, you never want your hiring platforms to be
01:26:27
what's holding you back. LinkedIn keeps pace. It takes care of the heavy lifting, sending you highly skilled
01:26:33
candidates that you wouldn't find anywhere else. So when the time comes to make your next hire, make it count and
01:26:38
promote your job on LinkedIn. Head to linkedin.com/doac. That's linkedin.com/doac and terms and conditions apply. I was really thinking a lot about these
01:26:50
um virtues in Shaolon tradition. Virtues are a guiding system in both martial arts and daily life. The Shaolin warrior practices thinking deliberately and
01:27:01
mindfully about the virtues of everyday life for his or her life. And the there are two categories of virtues. the virtues to be expected and the virtues
01:27:12
to be leared. What are these virtues that you speak about in the Shaolon tradition? Prior to somebody entering now let's say
01:27:24
into the temple and wants to learn from there. First of all we also as teachers want to find out what does the character of that
01:27:37
personality already possesses. Yeah. And these are for example what we are looking for are ultimately the virtues to be
01:27:49
expected. Virtues to be expected are for example self-control. A certain amount of self-control, a certain amount of discipline. So self-control, what does
01:28:02
that mean in this context? If I'm self-controlled, what am I? You don't let your emotions run over you. Okay?
01:28:08
You you you don't even if something makes you angry but in this context it's not honorable it's not respectful to now shout out you shouldn't do it okay you
01:28:19
should like be able to maintain your emotional states maintain your temper let's say also at least to a certain extent this is where I would say it comes to self-control and the second
01:28:33
one you said was discipline so discipline meaning you have like I said even if it's called the virtues to be expected expected means they should be visible
01:28:46
somehow but not to the fullest extent to to what's what people are capable of okay discipline just meaning this understanding that if you come to the temple life you know it's going to be
01:28:59
difficult to wake up every day at the same time and then start to do through the go through the daily structure. So it it needs some type of commitment.
01:29:10
Let's say it needs some type of I know it's hard but I'm willing to do it. This type of discipline. Yeah. This is also in a in a way expected. And then uh
01:29:25
another one is simply to be benevolent as well. So that's kindness and compassion for
01:29:30
your brothers and sisters. Kind of it goes. Yeah. The virtues sometimes swim into each other. But this idea of why do
01:29:38
we have these virtues in the first place and again it's like in Star Wars the force what you're learning the cultivation of
01:29:52
energy the skills that you are learning they are these are very very powerful things. Yeah. But what does what makes
01:30:00
the difference between somebody possessing this power and using it for the sake of humanity or somebody using
01:30:07
it for the um for the not betterment of humanity. It's the character. The power is the same. It's the character. It's the carrier of the
01:30:18
power. It's the one who is in in who's responsible to to hold this power to maintain this power. That one must be trained as well. And this is where the virtues hit in. The virtues
01:30:31
are building the framework of the character of the avatar ultimately that is then receiving all different types of training, skill training that we that
01:30:44
at least in the Shaolin tradition we would say is good to know them. Same in business really. I looked at a lot of these virtues and I thought they're all the kinds of things that we're looking for in a good team member. So we've got
01:30:55
discipline, self-control, modesty, benevolence, humility, respect, righteousness, trust, loyalty,
01:31:02
willpower, perseverance, persistence, courage, and patience. So ultimately, like I said
01:31:10
before, in the Shaolin traditional text is broken down into 14 different virtues. Yeah. Four of them to be expected. Another five virtues of
01:31:22
action. Another five virtues of the mind. Just simply when you will later on fly through it again. The virtues of action. What does it mean virtues of
01:31:33
action? It is how should you behave? How should you behave? Behave in a loyal way. Behave in a trustful way. Behave in
01:31:49
a respectful way. Behave in a courageous way. Yeah. So this is the how should you do something and the virtues of mind. For
01:32:03
example, they say what is it that nourishes the way for you to put the virtues of action into practice? How can you be? How can
01:32:17
you learn to behave respectfully? Because naturally if people like insulting you, you don't behave respectfully towards them. Yeah. So how can you still behave
01:32:32
respectfully, still be loyal to people? How do you do it? Well, then this is where where it then comes to the virtues of the
01:32:44
mind to really learn to be patient to really know what does it mean to be persistent to persevere during your
01:32:57
training. Yeah. And this is ultimately how I would describe it to easily understand. Do you believe in a god or
01:33:04
do you believe in a religion? If if someone asked you which religion do you follow what would your answer be?
01:33:12
I would call it the religion of oneness. The religion of oneness. The religion of I do believe that we are connected at some
01:33:23
way and it is my journey. I don't want to just intellectualize it. I do think it is an it is a it the path is to
01:33:39
lay out and remove all the friction and all the obstacles to just realize that it is like this. Yeah, this is maybe also like an a
01:33:50
very essential point along along the complete line whether somebody reads the book or whether somebody watches all these type of YouTube
01:34:04
channels. I myself always grew up in the need to attain something to add something up on top of my life. This tradition, the whole tradition I'm
01:34:18
talking about is actually quite the opposite. That's why in in the latest in the latest videos or publications for example, I often mention that actually there is nothing I can give to anyone.
01:34:32
It's not that you miss something in your life. Yeah, remember you're not in a lack but
01:34:38
in the moment where it feels like we are meeting and I give you something when you even think that I'm giving you
01:34:45
something and you are about to receive something that's not the right state of mind already. I have nothing to give
01:34:53
you. The only thing that I really try to do is take stuff away from you. Take things away from you that are covering that you see that you are
01:35:05
complete. What things tend to cover us that need to be taken away? Everything that builds up identity. Everything that builds up a
01:35:18
stronger and stronger identity. Everything that you keep from the past in your mind. The more that you keep the past in the
01:35:28
mind, the stronger your identity is. I do think this is one correlation that also goes hand in hand. The more you keep past elements
01:35:39
inside your mind, the less likely you will be able to break free into the future and open up for the possibilities that this lifetime might still have for
01:35:50
you. Are you happy? It's a difficult question. I'm not searching for happiness. I'm searching for peace.
01:36:06
So my state of what what I'm aiming for I would say it is peace because happiness for me yeah taking by this word if there's
01:36:21
happiness there is sadness if something can rise something must fall if you can attain something there's something to lose that's why it's
01:36:32
difficult that's why I I stopped the moment I don't know what type of happiness. You mean being satisfied with
01:36:39
where I am standing? Yes. Does it mean that I don't have hard moments? I have hard moments. And that's why for me like what is it I ultimately look for? I would
01:36:52
call it is just peace. Are you at peace? More and more. Yes. More and more. This
01:36:58
one. Yes. More and more. What's in the way of your peace? I would call it karmic relations, karmic
01:37:09
connections that you just think like you cannot avoid them. You you cannot avoid them anymore. What is karmic connections? Karmic connection
01:37:25
meaning because your mother gave birth to you automatically whatever your mother is doing or not doing however the state of
01:37:36
health of your mother is is going to affect you in a way. So there are sometimes
01:37:43
people in this world you have a closer karmic relation towards them. So what they are doing is also going to affect you. So and in my case it's the
01:37:55
same. Yeah. So meaning so literally real life speaking. So my son Yes. He is a very strong karmic relation. He's on the one side my own flesh and blood together
01:38:08
with my beloved. But it also means the way how my son feels it is affecting me. And this is something that I still need to regulate. Learn to
01:38:20
regulate which also sometimes means I mean if you only sleep like 2 hours per night then it is like this but you have good training to still
01:38:32
maintain your peace afterwards. But it is these are simple things. Yes. And what is your practice in terms of your routines? What do you do every day that
01:38:45
brings you back to yourself so that you can regulate yourself? What is your from the moment you wake up in the morning,
01:38:51
are there any routines that you try and execute every day? Number one is one of the first things is really try as often as you can to remind yourself
01:39:05
and put yourself in that proper state of what you think you are. I wake up and try to not already have any type of thought from yesterday in my
01:39:18
mind. I try to wake up empty. Let's call it like this. And meaning also try to at
01:39:26
all moments immerse myself as much as I can in the present moment. That's what it is. Yeah. Live in the here and now. How you do this? To
01:39:38
live in the here and now. Stop jumping into the past and stop jumping into the future. Then you live in the here and
01:39:45
now. But you must practice it. And literally meaning how you do it, make yourself empty. Because the only thing that fills your mind with past and
01:39:57
future is your thoughts. The mind. So if I watched you for the first hour when you woke up in the morning, what would I see on a on a typical day?
01:40:10
I wake up and sit on the sofa and and and still just sit. So just being awake and and just breathe literally just realizing slowly
01:40:25
scanning my own body from the inside going through the body. So really making sure in a way that everything that's going to come up
01:40:36
during this day is being perceived very consciously. Yeah. By this. So it's like I slowly build up my energies prepared.
01:40:47
This is how I would call it. It doesn't look very special looking from the outside. Unless I wake up and I
01:40:55
mean the sun is asking for something then of course I have my duties to do. But if I can really have my day after waking up still the next hour is still I
01:41:07
spend alone. This is what I prefer to do. And do you do exercise in the morning? Yes. What do you do? Push-ups, sit-ups and standing practice. What
01:41:19
standing practice? No. Partially it's also some of them are like mentioned in the book but literally it is what it
01:41:26
sounds like. I choose one position that I'm standing in and then I hold that position for 15 minutes. Why?
01:41:37
So let's take all the spiritual part out of this because there are some positions
01:41:42
that are looking so strange that at some point I also asked myself how would somebody even invest his lifetime standing and putting yourself
01:41:56
through such a position. Well, there must be a reason why in ancient times it is kept as a as a secret practice to stay like
01:42:09
this. And since I discovered it, I do have to say that um it's not this one. At some point, the squatting monkey is
01:42:21
called this is a practice that builds up what we call energy. How do you build up energy? It is by giving your mind something where you
01:42:34
need to have willpower to maintain it. Willpower and development of energy go hand in hand with each other.
01:42:47
The will to live, the will to keep going, the will, the will, strong will, iron will, energy is
01:42:58
also very high. And so literally some of these positions are so demanding on the
01:43:04
body that in order to maintain this position, you you have to have will. You need to create something about yourself where you are pushing
01:43:18
yourself and this is uh when when we have time I show you the exercise. Yes. And this is why I do it. So how important is that for everybody's life to do hard things do you think?
01:43:32
Because it's very easy not to do hard things in the comfort world we live in. when I mention it and then you directly
01:43:39
look up in a way to me or any professionals who then do this type of training. Of course, it's it's it's it's
01:43:46
it's beyond any normal person's abilities. But it's not about you need to learn and do the hard stuff like this. But one thing is for
01:44:01
sure. This lifetime living a life as a human definitely is not easy. Let's put it like
01:44:15
this. Living this lifetime is not easy. The more wishes you have, the more difficult it becomes. The more ambitious you are, the more the more you will have
01:44:27
to face. So bottom line is I do think that in the moment where you just on a regular basis put yourself consciously and
01:44:40
willingly in different situations and circumstances that actually represent a little bit the structures of life. There are moments in this lifetime where you are going to be super tense,
01:44:53
super tense. And then it's good to know already how does it feel and what is it that you can do well to learn and release the tension. That's why
01:45:05
releasing tension is also a big part of of the exercises. The one thing is learning to release tension. The other thing is like when you are too sloppy, when you're too slacky, how to increase
01:45:19
your tension, how to increase the energy level again for you to get into back into structure again. So there's always this balance and
01:45:30
ultimately how does it help people to know the hard stuff? Well, because I do think that it is symbolizing this way of life. It is symbolizing the patterns of
01:45:44
what you are going to go through in this lifetime. And so you're almost training
01:45:50
to do hard things because hard things are an inevitability of the life we live. in this training that I went through. Yeah, for for the moment maybe take all the spiritual part out. Simply the kung
01:46:05
fu training, the Shaolin kung fu training. There is a saying which is Shaolin kung fu literally means walking through the valley of
01:46:17
pain. So what does it mean? When you are doing stretching, stretching, stretching, stretching, it's going to be painful. When you are doing strength training is going to be painful. When
01:46:31
you do conditioning training, it's going to be painful. So the whole path on this martial art
01:46:39
journey, it is just filled with working yourself up to the level of where it feels uncomfortable. Getting some consistency into the practice until the point where
01:46:52
that uncomfortable feeling just started disappearing. Why? Because somehow you broke that initial comfort zone. So but then it doesn't end. Now next
01:47:06
level until you're building up first of all yeah whatever we're doing later on I
01:47:12
will show you some practices is not that I do not feel pain I also feel pain maybe I feel it later but the essential part is that my
01:47:26
connection my relation between the pain of the body towards what would it affect
01:47:32
in the way of how I take make decisions. That is a different one. I feel the pain but at the moment I feel the pain but I see no necessity to
01:47:45
still change something about my way right now. Why? Because I can take the pain. Whereas when you are not used to this pain, you feel it and then it tells
01:47:55
you let's say it's painful. The mind okay is not good. And so you directly change something. And this is and this is just the difference. So it's not that
01:48:06
I became numb. No, I just feel there is an additional layer that I can observe about myself. It is painful, but it's okay for right now.
01:48:18
And that's a a habit you've learned, I guess, over time. That's a process you've learned, which is you still have
01:48:24
the same stimulus, the same feeling, but you tell yourself, you've learned to tell yourself a different story about
01:48:30
that feeling or you've turned you believe something differently about that feeling. Many people would feel the pain
01:48:36
of I don't know starting a new career journey, starting a business, whatever might be painful and they would tell
01:48:42
themselves the story that that means they are not good enough or they shouldn't do it or that it's a threat
01:48:48
and they might stop. Whereas because you've cultivated this new relationship with pain, you're able to do these
01:48:54
things and tell yourself a better story. I spent my lifetime for for some part to really
01:49:01
wanting to build up my body and build up the skills related to the field of martial arts. So I want to build this
01:49:09
up. Other people want to build up their business. I do think there is something similar in the way of building up. When
01:49:17
I build up my body, how do I really build up? How do I make my body grow? It only works if I find a continuous way of exposing my body to
01:49:34
situations outside of the comfort zone of what I know. Elsewise, it wouldn't be called growth. If I every day just do something towards the body that the body already knows how to do, there's nothing
01:49:47
growing. So the idea of understanding where is the comfort zone of my body then on a regular basis very little must not be a
01:49:58
big jump but very little extending this comfort zone until the body naturally takes it as a habit in raising the bar of where your comfort zone actually is.
01:50:10
Always a little bit. Always a little bit. Always a little. But this only is possible I think
01:50:17
by well what's called going over your limits. But now comes the thing. You can go over the limits by really exaggerating and risking to be injured
01:50:29
or you make the idea of going going over the limit consciously aware carefully. still going over the limit but in a in a still
01:50:41
controlled way. Let's say you know it's the limit now but at the same time at some point you also realize our bodies our mind is so intelligent before the
01:50:53
when we are stretching at some point you feel like everything's going to rip apart but I know and this is why if we
01:51:00
would stretch even though you say ah it hurts I know we can still go more yeah you think but I just know yeah because your body is so intelligent that before
01:51:14
something serious really happens, he tells you way before that that be careful. And this figuring out where where is really this limit. This is that
01:51:28
this is what makes the difference. There is a limit. Yes. But but this limit still has a has like a range of where we can still move inside. Yes. And I do think that
01:51:41
this as a general line applies to everything if you want to grow and step by step by doing so the comfort zone
01:51:53
extends. So how is something new supposed to enter into your life? Well, there's only one way exactly the way that many people are also afraid of right
01:52:06
now. Go into the unknown. But that's exactly what it is. If this table is our comfort zone and you just stay on here, you will never know how beautiful London streets are. If you
01:52:19
just stay here, you need to go into the unknown. You need to slowly walk your find your way out here. But that means
01:52:32
that going into the uncertainty is nothing bad for me. I'm really really happy uncertainty is existing in this world
01:52:44
cuz I cannot imagine how boring it would be if I would already know with certainty where I'm going to be in 20 years. Is there something practical one can do
01:52:57
to get better at stepping outside of their comfort zone? Because in our or everyday lives, stepping outside of our
01:53:04
comfort zone might just mean putting our hand up in a meeting or doing a public talk or starting a Instagram page for
01:53:11
our cupcakes or it could be small things. It could be learning how to run. What's the first sort of small step one
01:53:18
should take to develop that habit of being okay in the uncertainty of our growth zone? Some people
01:53:27
say just start reading. I do think that people who do like reading this is something meaning
01:53:34
always look for something new to learn. Always realize that the the things able to still be discovered is way bigger than what you think you know.
01:53:47
And that means exactly the way of how you also describe it now. Exactly. The last 20 times you stayed quiet the next time you raise your
01:53:59
hand. Whatever it is, just don't stay in the old patterns. Break the cycle. This is where where I would say a great potential lies in
01:54:14
the thing that holds us back is fear. Yes. How how do we overcome that fear? So am I fearless? No. Do I fear a lot of things? No.
01:54:34
I do think there's only one thing that ultimately makes you break free from fear, which is to find a
01:54:49
way and wake up from the dream. You don't take things too seriously in this lifetime.
01:55:03
to just change. Let's put like this change your perspective rationalize things if you like it's similar like fear and worry.
01:55:19
Yes. Oh, at least when I look at my worries I had in the last months. Well, for sure 80% 90% of all the
01:55:32
worries just didn't happen in the first place. 10% might somehow came true. But then again, I asked myself, good. So the 10% that came true, even though I had the worries, what could I do about it?
01:55:46
Coming to the conclusion, nothing. Nothing, you know. And then something just really started to to shift inside
01:55:57
of me where I literally let go of something. Let go of this idea that that everything is
01:56:11
like is like onedirectional. That everything that you're going to encounter in this lifetime is going to
01:56:17
be beautiful. Everything in this lifetime is going to be peaceful. everybody you're going to meet along your journey is going to be wellhearted towards you. No, it's
01:56:31
not. Because in the moment where you have well-hearted people, you have illwilled people. And in the moment
01:56:38
where there is success, where you want to be part of the success story, you're going to be part of the failing story.
01:56:46
And in the moment where you want to be part of the light story, you're going to be part of the dark story.
01:56:52
This is how it is. This is the world of what we call it's the world of yin and yang. This is the world of birth and
01:57:05
death, of aging and sickness. And this and this is why in the in the ancient traditions more and more even nowadays why why in the first place
01:57:20
there is this whole idea about liberating yourself breaking free and and and all of these things for anybody that likes matcha for
01:57:34
anybody that likes lattes. One of my companies has just launched canned matcha lattes and I was speaking with
01:57:39
the founder Marissa and she said that creating this product has been no easy feat. They tried launching in 2021 but
01:57:46
as is often the case in business the development process turned out to be extremely complex. So they've spent the
01:57:52
last four years testing and refining every single detail to create this which is a perfect Ted matcha vanilla latte and a perfect Ted matcha strawberry
01:58:02
latte. So, what we have here in these cans is barista quality matcha straight from the can. And it tastes like it's
01:58:08
just been made from your favorite cafe. Naturally sweet and naturally creamy in a can. And the reason why I've invested
01:58:15
in this company and I drink matcha is because matcha as an energy source gives me lasting energy without the big crashes that I get from other products.
01:58:22
Grab their ready to drink canned matcha lattes at Waitros, Tesco's, and Holland and Barrett and perfected.com where you
01:58:27
can use code Steven40 for 40% off your first order. This one change has transformed how my team and I move, train, and think about our bodies. When Dr. Daniel Lieberman
01:58:40
came on the diio, he explained how modern shoes with their cushioning and support are making our feet weaker and
01:58:46
less capable of doing what nature intended them to do. We've lost the natural strength and mobility in our
01:58:52
feet, and this is leading to issues like back pain and knee pain. I'd already purchased a pair of Viva barefoot shoes.
01:58:58
So, I showed them to Daniel Lieberman and he told me that they were exactly the type of shoe that would help me restore natural foot movement and
01:59:05
rebuild my strength, but I think it was planticitis that I had where suddenly my feet started hurting all the time. And after that, I decided to start
01:59:11
strengthening my own foot by using the Vivo Barefoots. And research from Liverpool University has backed this up. They've shown that wearing Vivo Barefoot
01:59:17
shoes for 6 months can increase foot strength by up to 60%. Visit vivarefoot.com/doac and use code diary 20 from my sponsor for 20% off. A strong
01:59:30
body starts with strong feet. We were talking about the five hindrances and the first of those was
01:59:36
the sensual desires which we talked about and the second was ill will. The third is dullness, lack of motivation to
01:59:42
move forward in life and the fourth is restlessness, unable to focus on the present moment and the fifth is
01:59:47
skeptical doubt, indecisiveness and not trusting yourself. And to overcome the five
01:59:52
hindrances, you recommend the four-step rain method. What is the four-step rain method? Yes, I do think it's called rain method. That has also been taught to me
02:00:04
because it's easy to remember. What is it that you're supposed to do? Like I said, in this context of putting it
02:00:12
simple, you have set yourself a goal. There are five mental states that could make it difficult for you to reach that
02:00:19
goal. Those five mental states are these five hindrances. Yes. Could you read those out for me again? So sensory desire, sensual desire here, ill will,
02:00:31
dullness, sloth topper or restlessness and then ultimately uh indecisiveness or self-doubt. Okay.
02:00:43
Now what does the rain method tell you? Number one, it tells you with the R, recognize. Recognize or realize. So along your journey, every
02:00:54
day just sitting somewhere contemplating, learn to realize in which mental state are you actually finding yourself right now. This is just the
02:01:06
recognition, the realization of where you are. The A stands for acknowledge or acceptance. So even you know the second one was called ill will or actually it's called
02:01:20
aversion. So denying something pushing something away from you very important right now same here you recognize
02:01:28
something inside of you about you of course second one accepting it acknowledging it is important. Yes. I meaning now
02:01:41
investigation. investigation meaning okay I see I am I see I'm dull I see I'm like like or I see I'm
02:01:55
restless okay I accept that I have this feeling right now investigation meaning okay what is it like how did I get into this state have I been there this morning already in that state of being
02:02:10
no this morning I really felt So what happened now since the morning until now that put me in this state of
02:02:18
restlessness to who did I talk to? Was it a message that I received? What is it ultimately that led to this feeling of restlessness? So really
02:02:29
investigating like like a detector investigating. So and ultimately then the n difficult
02:02:37
one but it is standing for nonidentification. So, and nonidentification meaning I mentioned it
02:02:52
before even if you just use it as a picture right now as a concept if you want but try not to identify your being too
02:03:05
much with your body and too much with the mind. And if you don't identify with the body and not identify yourself too much with the mind also you do not identify yourself too much with all the
02:03:18
things that you investigated that you felt like were nourishing your restlessness.
02:03:26
If you had one last message to share and that message was a message you had to share for your son because one day the inevitability of
02:03:37
life means that you do have to have one last conversation and we don't always get to choose what that one last
02:03:43
conversation is but if you do get to choose that last conversation with your 3mony yearear-old son once he's able to
02:03:50
process it a little bit better say he was 18 years old what would that message Okay. Concepts are concepts. Theories
02:03:58
are theories. Be careful or be aware of what you are keeping or what are you nourishing in the mind. Never restrict yourself to any
02:04:11
concept. Never restrict yourself to any identity. Never restrict yourself to any
02:04:17
type of role. What you create you create and you can create quite a lot of things. Yeah. Something along these lines
02:04:39
probably. I read that when you lost your father that had quite a profound impact
02:04:44
on your life and your I guess your way of understanding the world. Your father passed away from cancer when you were sort of roughly 28
02:04:55
years old. It was roughly around 2012. And this I read gave you a deeper sense of purpose. H how how did that impact you
02:05:10
as a man? Yeah. See just imagine like when I talked before about enduring things going through my childhood
02:05:23
and always receiving let's say to to never be enough but still I mean still I had this internal fire going to still always give my best but for the sake of
02:05:35
my parents and so yeah from the age of four elementary school give your best high
02:05:42
school give your best studying give your best study again okay I do again so all
02:05:48
the time not because I necessarily wanted all of this it's because for the sake of my parents for the sake of they
02:05:56
are the ones who allowed me in the first place to in a way be alive yeah also thanks to them so this was in a way um my expression of what they say as long
02:06:07
as they are alive I listen to them so and then you know walking all the way up to this this academic education then finally graduating like
02:06:19
after 20 years. Yeah. And then I just returned from the graduation back to back to Kaiser Slot and the city where I lived
02:06:31
and that was the last year uh I spent with my father. Yeah. So literally meaning
02:06:40
uh spending so many years in this academic education for my father and now he's not even there to witness that it has been done for him.
02:06:52
Now, this was like a a point where I thought like yeah, this was the one area that uh that stuck somehow a little bit hard. And
02:07:09
then the next things yeah I call it maybe small but it's not so small apparently because um I grew up in let's say this Asian tradition with let's say
02:07:22
different type of beliefs or rituals or ceremonies that we do. One of these things was that when my father was still uh lying in hospital and it was clear
02:07:33
that it's just going to take a few days until he would pass away. He for example also said well he only said it to me because you know I I would be the only one who is able to do it.
02:07:45
Don't cry for me because he couldn't say to my mother she cannot handle it. couldn't say to my brother. Yeah. But
02:08:12
because I trust in the I trust in the in the tradition the reason why not to cry when my father pass away. Yes.
02:08:23
Because we do think the body is there. The body passes away. The spirit sets itself free. And when the spirit simply realize that all the sons are there, the
02:08:34
family is there crying. The spirit in a way is still bound to this realm, bound to the earth's realm, let's say. And in order to be able to help my father
02:08:45
actually to get on a to move on quicker, to move on quicker, that was the reason why it is sometimes so important to don't show any
02:08:58
grief in the moment when a beloved one like passes away. Yeah. But all of these things.
02:09:08
Yeah. No, like spending so many years for my father, then he's not there to realize it, then not being able to cry, and
02:09:19
then being in all this very very hard field and always like overachieving and no problem working 16 hours a day.
02:09:33
Well, these are all the things that made it possible to be where I am right now. But at the same time, I just do
02:09:40
feel like especially in the moment now when when my son started to come and all of these things, um I just felt like
02:09:49
there's a lot blocked there or there's a lot that still needs to be released for the sake of my son.
02:10:03
And yeah, what is it you needed and when did you need it? I would call it recognition. Being recognized by my
02:10:19
father at some point to finally somehow say you you did well is enough. But it didn't come until today.
02:10:31
So I still keep going. I never heard it from my father. From my mother I also don't hear it. Well maybe in a different way but I
02:10:46
do think it is the father's recognition that you probably aim for. So these are absolutely things that do
02:10:57
shape my character for sure. Many people will be able to relate in their own ways and maybe their parents have now passed on or are no longer with
02:11:09
us. So I'm wondering if there is a way to hear it from yourself. Yes, there is. There is. And again, this leads to the fact of
02:11:23
sometimes it's very very helpful to really shut the world, shut the world out of you and spend time with
02:11:31
yourself and actually create what you think you were missing there. Create it cuz you're the one who creates it. That's exactly what I do think
02:11:42
that when you we were speaking about it right now of course we could say that what is it that I was looking for from my father fact is is not I'm not going to hear it from him anymore so I need to
02:11:54
hear it of course by myself and this is where it comes to all these type of practices and methods that
02:12:01
many specialists now they also like emphasizing regardless of how you call them.
02:12:07
Yeah. And what are those sentences in particular that if I if I was your father you would want me to say to you right now? Well, something
02:12:23
like you did well. You did enough. I see what you are doing. But now take your energy back.
02:12:38
and give it to your son. Give him everything that you feel you didn't receive from
02:12:48
me. And if you heard those words from him, how do you think he would change? I do think there will be change and I do think there is already
02:13:00
change. Yeah. And this is maybe like the part where like specialists now they would say it's not necessarily an area of the conscious mind. I do think that
02:13:10
these are talks right now more dealing with subconsciously is stored inside our our
02:13:17
let's say in our mind. I think this is where it plays a role. No especially when it's about patterns that come up. It's not consciously when you're
02:13:28
conscious enough you can regulate already a lot. It's the subconscious things that you are not aware of that
02:13:35
are still a part of your life. And if you wouldn't have cuh asked about my father, I wouldn't even think about him for one month is all not a problem.
02:13:47
Yeah. But I do still think that these are like very very deep layers that just translate a
02:13:53
lot unconsciously into the way of of doing things in way of how I see things also and this is where I feel like it probably would help. Have you grieved
02:14:05
his passing? Yes. Yes. I do think at at some extent when the when the 49 days that's the period
02:14:18
of where it's normally said don't grief at that time 49 days afterwards I did yes but probably there's still a lot more to
02:14:37
release. you've written this wonderful book which describes the way to selfmastery and it's um it's a really transformative book that I highly recommend everybody checks out. I'm
02:14:49
going to link it below. When we talk about selfmastery, what is it you mean? What
02:14:55
is it to master oneself? So, growing up like I said in this field of martial arts, I met a lot of masters. I lot met a lot of
02:15:08
grandmasters. I always went looking for other instructors, looking for somebody outside of myself to be a mentor, to be a guide for me. But at some point, always
02:15:24
realizing that everybody, no matter who it was, they possessed some type of skill that I wanted to learn from them. But there was one thing that in a
02:15:37
way none of them in a way could help me with and that was how do I run my my own life. I can learn skills from you. I can learn
02:15:49
skills from here. I can improve in this area in this area. But putting all these
02:15:54
skills, putting all these knowledge, putting all the advice, putting it into a structure, into a frame, and then to run my own life with it. There's only
02:16:07
one person who can do this, yourself. So, and this is where I meant that don't rely on a master for him to run your life. Don't rely on a mentor, a
02:16:21
guide, whatever to run your life. This whole journey is about you learn and acquire the skills and acquire the knowledge and acquire whatever you
02:16:33
think is necessary to bring out the best version. Let's call it like this. the best version, the best refined potential about about yourself,
02:16:47
about what you believe you are capable of bringing out about yourself. Meaning the master is already sitting inside of each
02:16:58
individual. It's just that we don't nourish that master inside of us enough. And who in particular at this moment in time do you believe would benefit most
02:17:12
from the message inside the covers of this book? The more you feel like that your
02:17:20
[Music] um that that your well-being about yourself is being dependent on any third
02:17:31
parties anything outsourced. So if the government you feel like if any decision from the government affects you, read the book. If like your colleagues at
02:17:43
work affect you by what they say and what they think, that's also something. Every time
02:17:49
when you have the feeling your well-being is dependent on something that you feel you have no influence in because this is exactly this is the
02:18:01
antidote. This book is literally telling you don't outsource your well-being to anything that you
02:18:13
cannot influence or control. Which literally means place the emphasis and the foundation of your
02:18:25
well-being only on things that you have influence on. And which one is that? your body and your mind. Of all the things we've discussed today, is there
02:18:39
anything anything at all that you think is the most important thing that we missed for the for the person that's sat there at home and I'll give you a persona of the person. They are they're
02:18:52
feeling a little bit lost in their life. They're feeling like they could do more. They're maybe lacking in purpose and meaning in their life a little bit. um
02:18:58
they're struggling in various areas with their relationships, maybe a little bit with work, and they're feeling the the
02:19:04
normal pressures of life that we all we all feel. Is there anything for that person that's listening now and that's
02:19:10
gotten this far in the conversation that you might say in their ear right now? It's sometimes really nice to see the why I
02:19:22
to see the full picture. The full picture of me is I didn't start like being on the cover of the book. I didn't start like having all the abilities and skills that I have
02:19:34
nowadays. I didn't start with all the social media channels as they are right now. I started actually in the poorest
02:19:41
area of that city in Kaiser Slouten that until today is known to be like the area
02:19:47
where people do not like to go. This is where I come out from. So was my life always easy? Well,
02:19:55
I don't think so. But there are just a few fundamental things that meanwhile after like 40 years
02:20:08
meeting people, talking with people, looking into the world, being able to actually see some type of structures in the world, I do believe that what you
02:20:18
might call successful people or people that somehow made it in whatever way you think is made it, I do think they have something in common there is something in common amongst them. Okay. So and one
02:20:33
thing that I would definitely say is to really be able to endure is one area really having that persistence even
02:20:47
so okay today is not working everything goes wrong. Yeah. like not like cutting it off like
02:20:54
suddenly but this type of persistence and consistency like just knowing and trusting. Okay, let's do it again. So literally trial and
02:21:07
error, hard times, good times to just understand that this life is like this up and down. There is a up and down. The one the success doesn't
02:21:21
come without the failure. The brightness right now that is being seen from people. Yeah. But there's another side
02:21:27
that that built the foundation for people nowadays to to shine. Yeah. And just to understand a
02:21:35
lot of things is possible but it's never onedirectional. Yeah. And now to put things really literally
02:21:46
into practice, one of the easiest things, how do I know what should be the next? What should I do tomorrow? What should I do tomorrow?
02:21:57
Okay, look at yourself and ask yourself what is the most disturbing whatever it is from the last week in your life. What is disturbing you about your
02:22:09
life the most from the last week? You can even extend it to what is it which emotional state is it that followed you primarily in the last one
02:22:22
month. So and then maybe investigating again okay what is it that brings up that
02:22:30
emotion that state inside of you? What is is it somebody who triggers it? Is it something that triggers it? So really boil it down to the point that you
02:22:40
actually see this is what blocks me right now in my life. This is literally what blocks me in my life. I want to move into the future, but this here it follows me. It
02:22:54
blocks me. It takes my energy. It's this one. I can literally see it. No, that is
02:23:00
the one. Now invest all of the energy to figure out the solution for this one. Because if you took care of this already the last half year, the chances
02:23:11
are very very high. You're going to have it the next half year, which means you're going to have it already for one
02:23:17
year. And if you do nothing about it, it's going to be two years. And it's going to be three years. And in three
02:23:23
years, you still sit there and complain that you were not able to move on. Yes. because it's the same pattern and it is the same hindrance still in the life and this is
02:23:38
for example how I know what is my next area of um of development the one that let's say
02:23:48
shakes me the most at the moment if I think about literally I think about is it something in the business area that shakes me no is it something in the family area that shakes me No, is it
02:23:59
something in the in the relationship area that and like this you find out okay that is the next one let's tackle
02:24:07
it and and so and we will always find something that in a way like we would say we could optimize and I do believe that in the
02:24:18
moment where you say no I have arrived I think then there's really nothing to be done then just to be Sweet.
02:24:31
We have a closing tradition on this podcast where the last guest leaves a question for the next guest, not knowing
02:24:37
who they're going to be leaving the question for. And the question that has been left
02:24:42
for you is, uh, what is your greatest regret? I would say that 40 years long, whatever I said and whatever decision I took in the last 40
02:25:14
years, I could always stand behind it. Yeah. I I pushed decisions through and I gave I gave commence to to do it the way that I wanted
02:25:30
because behind it my mind was always supporting all of this. Just in the recent months I had to take a decision. I would have wished to have a
02:25:43
little bit more time to make it to make the transition more pleasant but I couldn't. I had no choice.
02:25:49
And so despite of not feeling that it is the right way to do it, I still had to do it. And this is what I regret. It's
02:25:58
like firing someone, letting someone go kind of like this. Yes. Thank you. Thank you so much for the message you're putting out into the world because it's a increasingly
02:26:08
necessary message because we're I think we're all searching for answers and for a variety of different reasons. Um, and
02:26:15
your message as I read it throughout the book, the the striking thing about it is it's a simple one, but that doesn't mean
02:26:22
it's an easy one, but it's a very, very necessary one. And for anyone that does relate to the things we've described to
02:26:28
today and the situations we've described that people are feeling at the moment, I'd highly recommend you give this book
02:26:34
a try. Um, because it is a completely different message. So, thank you for writing such an incredible book and
02:26:40
thank you for the wisdom that you've put out into the world. I highly recommend everybody goes and checks out your YouTube channel um because there's much
02:26:45
more content there and you're you're a real star on YouTube. Your TED talk is a smash hit sensation that has changed
02:26:51
millions of people's lives as well. So, thank you again for your time today. It's been a huge honor. Thank you, Stephen, for the invitation. Appreciate
02:26:58
it having this conversation. Thank you so much. I'm going to let you into a little bit
02:27:03
of a secret. You're probably going to think me and my team are a little bit weird, but I can still remember to this day when Jamaima from my team posted on
02:27:09
Slack that she'd changed the scent in this studio. And right after she posted it, the entire office clapped in our
02:27:15
Slack channel. And this might sound crazy, but at the Diary of SEO, this is the type of 1% improvement we make on our show. And that is why the show is
02:27:22
the way it is. By understanding the power of compounding 1%s, you can absolutely change your outcomes in your
02:27:29
life. It isn't about drastic transformations or quick wins. It's about the small consistent actions that
02:27:36
have a lasting change in your outcomes. So two years ago we started the process of creating this beautiful diary and
02:27:42
it's truly beautiful. Inside there's lots of pictures, lots of inspiration and motivation as well, some interactive
02:27:48
elements and the purpose of this diary is to help you identify, stay focused on, develop consistency with the 1%s
02:27:56
that will ultimately change your life. So, if you want one for yourself or for a friend or for a colleague or for your team, then head to the diary.com right
02:28:03
now. I'll link it below. This has always blown my mind a little bit. 53% of you that listen to this show regularly haven't yet subscribed to the show. So, could I ask you for a favor? If you like
02:28:14
the show and you like what we do here and you want to support us, the free simple way that you can do just that is by hitting the subscribe button. And my
02:28:20
commitment to you is if you do that, then I'll do everything in my power, me and my team, to make sure that this show is better for you every single week.
02:28:27
We'll listen to your feedback. We'll find the guest that you want me to speak to and we'll continue to do what we do.
02:28:32
Thank you so much. [Music] [Music]