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The lonely chapter describes a time in
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your life where you're so developed that
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you can't really resonate with your old
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set of friends, but you're not yet
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sufficiently developed that you've built
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a new set of friends. It's so much
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easier to just stay in the routine that
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you were previously doing the same sort
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of things. For you to pull away from
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that, you're going to have to do stuff
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usually that makes you more different,
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more easy to be mocked, and more alone.
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The initial sad reality is that on your
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journey of personal growth, at some
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point you may need to leave a group of
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friends behind who aren't growing at the
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same pace as you.
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The really sad reality is that if you do
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it a lot, you may have to do this
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multiple times throughout your life. And
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it's not a value judgment about who's
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better or who's worse. It's just a stark
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reality of what happens when you start
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to make changes in your life. Your
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friends like to play Xbox on an evening
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time and that's how they hang out, but
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you want to start going to the gym, but
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your friends don't go to the gym. And
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then when you do hang out with them,
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you're talking about the gym cuz that's
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your new thing and they're still talking
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about Xbox. So, there is a a friction
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that happens as you try to grow because
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if your friends don't grow at the same
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pace as you, you don't speak the same
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language. A friend referred to it as
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changing your dialect so much so that
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over time you and your friends don't
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even speak the same language anymore.
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And it's very uncomfortable because it's
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tempting to go back to the old life that
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you're used to. The old patterns, the
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old routines, the old friend groups, the
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old everything. And you have to stop
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doing the things that you know bring you
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validation in the moment to start doing
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the things that you have no idea about
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whether it'll actually work.
