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The lonely chapter describes a time in your life where you're so developed that
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you can't really resonate with your old set of friends, but you're not yet
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sufficiently developed that you've built a new set of friends. It's so much
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easier to just stay in the routine that you were previously doing the same sort of things. For you to pull away from
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that, you're going to have to do stuff usually that makes you more different,
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more easy to be mocked, and more alone. The initial sad reality is that on your journey of personal growth, at some
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point you may need to leave a group of friends behind who aren't growing at the
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same pace as you. The really sad reality is that if you do it a lot, you may have to do this
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multiple times throughout your life. And it's not a value judgment about who's
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better or who's worse. It's just a stark reality of what happens when you start
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to make changes in your life. Your friends like to play Xbox on an evening time and that's how they hang out, but
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you want to start going to the gym, but your friends don't go to the gym. And
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then when you do hang out with them, you're talking about the gym cuz that's
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your new thing and they're still talking about Xbox. So, there is a a friction
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that happens as you try to grow because if your friends don't grow at the same
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pace as you, you don't speak the same language. A friend referred to it as changing your dialect so much so that
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over time you and your friends don't even speak the same language anymore. And it's very uncomfortable because it's
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tempting to go back to the old life that you're used to. The old patterns, the
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old routines, the old friend groups, the old everything. And you have to stop doing the things that you know bring you
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validation in the moment to start doing the things that you have no idea about whether it'll actually work.