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People really care about what's making them disliked and they really want to know how to be liked.
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Okay, so first this is an exercise that I do in my class at Harvard called 10 questions to fall in like.
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So if I ask someone those questions, they're going to like me. It's a great starting point, but let's
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talk about this because they're going to be little clues about how to be better liked. And it's the most teachable,
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practical, scientifically rigorous framework in the world for communication. Do you want to hear about
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it, Stephen? Of course I want to hear about it. I want to be the most persuasive,
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influential, likable talker in the world. So, I shall follow your lead. Oh my gosh.
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It's a lot of power. I love it. I love it so much. Because we all get to adulthood and we feel like
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conversation should be easy. But as a scientist, when you look under the hood, you realize this is why we have so many
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awkward moments, why we say things that we shouldn't, why we are boring, why we get angry and hostile. And there's very
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clear strategies to help us with all of that. Like one of my biggest findings was how we reframe social anxiety as
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excitement which makes you focus on opportunities rather than threats. And that paper ended up being featured in
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Inside Out the movie. And then there's small talk. I hate small talk. I'm going to help you reframe that
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because it's really important. But the mistake that people make is that they say that way too long and they need to
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move up this topic pyramid. What about in a digital age? Do we need to start communicating differently?
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Yeah, there's clear things that we should do to make our textbased communication better and we'll go
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through all of them. And you said you've done an interesting study recently about
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male friendship. Yes. And it's quite troubling. So, how can I make more friends as a
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man?