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we promised our listeners last week that we discuss your ketamine Journey everyone is ask they couldn't believe we
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waited last week they were people have been asking me a lot so give us your your ketamine journey and please roll it
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out for us uh so just to set it up I um a friend of mine invested in Academy clinics and for me it was like burning
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man I always wanted to do it and I was chickened out and yeah and my friend invested in a
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clinic and he set it up and he made it SE seamless for me in Austin and you walk in and everyone's got their shoes
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off it's a very nice Vibe and they it was actually quite nice uh you have a person in this kind of
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this love room with couches and pillows it's very comfortable and they give you a weighted blanket and then the doctor
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who talked to me they did pre-screening to make sure you shouldn't do it if you have any schizophrenia in your family or
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if you're feeling especially anxious or paranoid um which for me is called a Tuesday but anyways the I know exactly I
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was like who hold on stop sign stop sign I said all of those things but it's nothing red light all those things but
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it's nothing out of the normal and you go into a room that feels like the you know the coolest Den where you'd hang
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out and smoke a lot of pot at home like Rich it feels like a room in a rich person's house who's very into marijuana
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that's right and this the thing that initially struck me was the doctor came in we all held hands and prayed which I
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actually found quite comforting and then you do some deep breathing some heavy to
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God pardon to God or I I don't know exactly who who was on the other end of that I'm not sure anyone was listening
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but yeah it was nice to be in the company of other people holding hands and hoping for good outcomes okay and
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then she gives you an injection little communion and then she gives you an injection and you get on an elevator up
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or out and the way I would describe it is that you know they use the term disassociative for these drugs and that
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is you do in fact your Consciousness your thoughts leave your body your body feels fine it feels very heavy you can't
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really move you have trouble I had trouble articulating words but you immediately your Consciousness
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sort of leaves your body and I'll give quickly how quickly I want details how quickly did you
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suddenly feel this within 30 or 60 seconds you are you feel very relaxed an initial sensation of
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relaxation it does reduce your anxiety and but then you your elevator up pretty fast your your Willy Wonka in the in the
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in the elevator going about the speed of light except I wouldn't describe it as your traveling I would describe it as
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your Consciousness leaves your body and then space starts flying around you and Surround and the things that are on your
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Consciousness uh begin you know I think the the things are important or at least
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in your mind start coming into what I'd call 4K highdefinition unavoidable um very visual View and just
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visually so me it was just me pictures of me that's right go ahead that's right but uh these things come into very
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Crystal Clear View and so I'll give you what I'll call the downsides and I'll give you the
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upsides the downsides are some things I was anxious about in that moment kept popping up and I knew even in the moment
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that they weren't that important um can you give me specifics or not I had had uh I had been what I felt like less kind
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to somebody or I said some stupid stuff and I felt bad about it and it just kept
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popping up and and I say a lot of dumb unkind things on a regular basis and trying to be
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funny or provocative and it just kept coming up and so you know I waited till the cem W off and I called them and
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apologized but in two if I had done my trip in two weeks I don't think it would have come up so your anxieties at the
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moment do come up which is a bad thing the other bad thing is that if you have a doctor who recommends it because of
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trauma or they feel it would help you with your depression then by all means I would I would suggest taking medical
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advice but if you are not good at drugs and what do I mean by that I have done enough drugs that I have been way too
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high a couple times and it's a terrible experience to feel way too high and out of
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control but I you always get through it but without that confidence of knowing you're going to get through it I would
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absolutely not do this mind [ __ ] because oh so a mind [ __ ] if you don't take I
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shouldn't do it in another words oh I would not recommend it to any I was thinking about you I was thinking about
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my wife which is a little odd but I would not recommend recomend it for you uh because there are moments and I'm not
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I I don't want to say there are moments where it's it's terrifying that's a strong there are moments that are very
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scary that if you could you'd be like I want off this roller coaster but your Consciousness your Consciousness
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separates from you and you're just looking at your Consciousness and your perception of things and the universe
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starts flying by you and what I would say is that the the upside is it's very clarifying and cementing of things that
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are important to you so I had these incredibly incredibly uh Crystal Clear unimaginably
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Sharp Images in 3D All Around Me of these two favorite pictures I've I have of my
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boys and you're thinking about your relationship with them and how deep it is but it goes like exponentially deeper
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and you sort of like I mean very obvious stuff you know your purpose is to love your children but you start you start
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recognizing that this is this is everything for me like this is who I am is the is so it clarified important it
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came to the Forefront Clarity or clarification and cementing is how I would describe the upside of it and you
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know I had I saw I saw death but in a good way I think about death a lot and I thought okay and I'm very into this
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concept of surplus value that when a boy becomes a man man when he's now producing more than he's taking in and
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some people never get to that point people love you people spend time on you your school spends resources on you the
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world spends resources on you and when you really become a man is when the output or the the love the care the
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concern the productivity you offer the world is greater than your inputs and for me it was clarifying I'm
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like okay my opportunity here is still is to love my boys more than you know my parents love me oh so that's what came
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to the Forefront interesting your work not your work that's really interesting not a single image not a single thought
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about my work about money about success about lack thereof about professional success or disappointment and that
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occupies the majority of my waking hours it was all about my boys and then surprisingly my can I see was it
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hallucinogenic or when you're seeing these pictures is it just your thoughts or do you actually see things because on
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some of these things like mushrooms you see things color LSD you see colors right I so I've told you about the
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sphere being mindblowing in Las Vegas yeah this is the sphere of the sphere you're the walls are breathing
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the universe is flying by you in Crystal Clear Clarity but you are no longer in your body and you are thinking just so
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like when you die you know that feeling when they say when you die pull out that's how I imagine it's like I am
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beaming towards the source the source is comforting and along the way I don't have time for one of the billions of
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planets or the trillions of organisms that aren't important it's just the two or three very important things and a
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recognition and there was no Discovery there was nothing new and my actually my wife came into it but in a much
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different way it was like this shock and the way I would describe the shock was did you ever when you were a kid get a
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gift you weren't expecting it and it was something that was so unattainable for you that you could never even imagine
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owning it I mean you wanted it so much but it was unattainable for me it was when I was a kid I was really into
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skateboarding my skateboard cost $2 yeah and there was a skateboard called a bane
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B A hn NE e which was the ultimate luxury item the equivalent of a Bugatti or a Birkin bag but they were $45 and in
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a million years my mom and I could never afford a $45 skateboard and my mom's boyfriend came home one day with this
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real rag tag box and he said this for you and I opened it and it was a bane skateboard and at that moment that
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moment of just like shock and joy that that was mine when my wife came into the picture I remember feeling this like
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like who is this oh my God I get to hang out with this person that's correct thank you Scott we all know that you
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know the rest of us know this cuz your wife is a hot ticket item in every single
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but this this notion of like who is this oh my God I get to hang out with this person partner with this person I get to
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be physical with this person I get to be affect it was like it was like this Bane
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skateboard times a million and that was very nice and clarifying your wife was a
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b well but you know what I mean oh interesting did you I know I know let me did you have any religious spiritual it
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absolutely none at all it really doesn't no you didn't touch the face of God did
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you the way I would describe it is it doesn't illuminate anything new or teach you anything new
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it didn't for me what it did was just clarify the cement or cement the things that I know and are that are very
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important to me and it just sort of so no appearances by the pivot team or car s yeah not a lot but I mean this
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absolutely nothing about my work and the the takeaway I went in with the intention I wanted to ask myself a
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question like what is my purpose how do I add value and I just came back to this
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notion that I have had I've been fortunate enough to receive a lot of love and my my goal in life is to have
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Surplus value in terms of the amount of love I give as opposed to the amount of love I've I've received nice and also
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this weird recognition that I'm almost there and that quite frankly gives me permission to leave and and I don't want
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to say die because that sounds negative oh please but I have I have permission to leave and i' I've checked a box that
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was kind you've done enough I've you've done you're a surplus person you're a plus person you know I
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feel like I mean I would think in terms of masculine I think I am a man I have loved more than I've been loved and
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that's the goal and that but it was very clarifying it was very positive but let
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me Circle back no this is not something to be done lightly it would be terrifying if you weren't confident
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around your use of drugs and having said that if the doctor I should do it I mean
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this sincerely I I think of you was a good friend and I wouldn't I would always advise you I wouldn't do it if I
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were you and everyone talks about it being a life a life-changing experience there's no free launch and there are
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moments imagine the scariest roller coaster you've ever been on and your friends talk you into doing it and about
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10 seconds into the roller coaster you're like I would pay almost anything to get off this thing there are a couple
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moments there are a couple moments where you're thinking about the intensity of your Consciousness separated from your
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body and the life you've built yourself and how strange it is and all your emotions and it is so overwhelming it
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gets quite frankly just very scary um you know I I'm I'm recalling when I was a kid I used to stare in the
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when I was very sad about my dad and stuff I would stare into the mirror and I would hypnotize myself I would go who
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am I what am I doing here and I'd repeat it over and over again and then I would
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disassociate it was amazing I don't I can't believe I did that as a kid but I I have a very deep recollection if you
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stare into a mirror and say that who am I what am I doing here I it freaked me out when I was I think some of that is
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good I think some of it is bad if it gets too much it was imagine that CU you can't get out
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of pull myself out that's that's a that's a great believeing that's a great example but it was
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um uh scary downside some anxiety that just shouldn't have been there because it my mind at the time but it was very
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clarifying and you're not I I promised myself I wasn't going to call anybody right after Under the Influence Academy
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but of course I immediately you didn't I didn't hear I immediately how long did it last it's about an hour but you can't
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really stand I mean you're you're woozy but I immediately called my wife and told her she was a ban skateboard but
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she was very moved by it oh [Laughter] um oh I'm going to get you one of those now and put your wife's face on it
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that's my that's that's my birthday present the thing you'd want to give to people who have a nice relationship with
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their kids you just the word that kept coming up with the feeling this I'll finish here was
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impossible but impossible in a good way impossible in the sense that my boys can
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never understand until they have their own boys how deeply I feel about them and my
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commitment to them and it was this wonderful feeling that I have this secret that that they just can't
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comprehend you know the depth of the commitment and the connection I feel with them and the Word was impossible
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but in a very positive way but it was all about it was all about my boys a little bit about a little bit about my
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you know my partner in life but nothing about work nothing about health nothing about my parents it which
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shocked the [ __ ] out of me it was very weird good for you Scott that sounds fantastic now I I'm excited about your
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LSD trip and your your IA trip and everything else there you go no I'm done