Search Captions & Ask AI

Scott Galloway's Jokes Don't Always Work

April 23, 2026 / 01:18

This episode features humor centered around alcohol, relationships, and jokes about Bigfoot. The hosts share personal anecdotes and comedic one-liners.

The conversation begins with a joke about a former girlfriend who was Mexican and an alcoholic, leading to a series of puns and humorous observations about drinking habits.

One host shares a joke about Bigfoot and metric measurements, which prompts a light-hearted discussion about the effectiveness of the jokes being told.

As the episode progresses, the hosts continue to exchange jokes, including a humorous take on being pulled over while driving with an influencer.

The episode maintains a playful tone with various jokes, some landing better than others, showcasing the hosts' comedic chemistry.

TL;DR

Hosts share humorous anecdotes and jokes about alcohol and Bigfoot.

Episode

1:18
00:00:00
Yeah. My first girlfriend was Mexican
00:00:03
and an alcoholic. And I asked her what
00:00:05
her favorite book was, and she said,
00:00:06
"Tquila mockingb bird." That's not very
00:00:08
good, isn't it? Well, three guys walk
00:00:10
into a bar. Alcoholic, a priest, and a
00:00:12
child molester. And that's just the
00:00:14
first guy.
00:00:15
When someone asked me if I ever drink in
00:00:17
the morning, I'm like, "No, cuz I don't
00:00:18
wake up till noon."
00:00:19
>> Oh my god. Okay, enough with the
00:00:21
drinking drugs.
00:00:22
>> I'm not on a roll today, Cara. I'm not
00:00:24
on a roll. By the way, do you know what
00:00:27
they call Bigfoot in Europe?
00:00:28
>> What? Big meter.
00:00:31
>> Big meter. I don't get it.
00:00:33
>> Metric. Metric. Foot versus meter. Unit
00:00:36
of measurement.
00:00:37
>> Okay, that didn't work. Okay, next one.
00:00:39
>> Big meter. Come on. You were talking
00:00:42
about influencers. So, my girlfriend was
00:00:45
an influencer and on the ride back from
00:00:47
Palm Springs, she decided for a little
00:00:48
fun, she would straddle me
00:00:50
>> and we got pulled over and I was charged
00:00:52
with uh driving under the influencer.
00:00:54
>> Okay, that's good. That's good. I like
00:00:56
that one. You know how Bigfoot tells
00:00:59
time?
00:00:59
>> No. Tell Scott.
00:01:01
>> Cara. He looks at his Sasquatch.
00:01:03
>> Okay, good one. That's good. That's
00:01:05
good. The others, not so good.
00:01:09
>> Hit or miss. You got to fire up the the
00:01:12
claw a little better.

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 70
    Funniest
  • 60
    Most quotable

Episode Highlights

  • Tquila Mockingbird
    A humorous take on a classic book title shared by a character's girlfriend.
    “Tquila mockingb bird.”
    @ 00m 06s
    April 23, 2026
  • Driving Under the Influencer
    A funny story about getting pulled over while with an influencer girlfriend.
    “Driving under the influencer.”
    @ 00m 52s
    April 23, 2026
  • Big Meter Joke
    A play on words comparing Bigfoot to metric measurements.
    “He looks at his Sasquatch.”
    @ 00m 59s
    April 23, 2026

Episode Quotes

  • Tquila mockingb bird.
    Scott Galloway's Jokes Don't Always Work
  • No, cuz I don't wake up till noon.
    Scott Galloway's Jokes Don't Always Work
  • Driving under the influencer.
    Scott Galloway's Jokes Don't Always Work
  • He looks at his Sasquatch.
    Scott Galloway's Jokes Don't Always Work

Key Moments

  • Alcoholic Humor00:03
  • Bigfoot Jokes00:22
  • Influencer Story00:42
  • Puns01:09

Related Episodes

Kara Swisher and Scott Galloway Play The Newlywed Game | Pivot
February 14, 2026
Captions not detected. You can watch the video, but not search it. If you think this is an error, contact support.
09:34
Kara Swisher and Scott Galloway Play The Newlywed Game | Pivot
Is Apple's Budget Laptop Brand Suicide? | Pivot
March 17, 2026
Captions not detected. You can watch the video, but not search it. If you think this is an error, contact support.
54:45
Is Apple's Budget Laptop Brand Suicide? | Pivot
Was Tesla Trying to Replace Elon Musk as CEO? | Pivot
May 02, 2025
Captions not detected. You can watch the video, but not search it. If you think this is an error, contact support.
58:40
Was Tesla Trying to Replace Elon Musk as CEO? | Pivot
Scott Galloway Explains Why He Got Cosmetic Surgery | Pivot
January 13, 2026
Captions not detected. You can watch the video, but not search it. If you think this is an error, contact support.
01:15:09
Scott Galloway Explains Why He Got Cosmetic Surgery | Pivot
AI Videos Gone Wild | Pivot
May 30, 2025
Captions not detected. You can watch the video, but not search it. If you think this is an error, contact support.
01:27
AI Videos Gone Wild | Pivot
Late Night TV & Tylenol Face Washington Pressure | Pivot
September 26, 2025
Captions not detected. You can watch the video, but not search it. If you think this is an error, contact support.
46:49
Late Night TV & Tylenol Face Washington Pressure | Pivot
Trump’s Tariff Pause: Panic Move or Power Play? | Pivot
April 11, 2025
Captions not detected. You can watch the video, but not search it. If you think this is an error, contact support.
51:37
Trump’s Tariff Pause: Panic Move or Power Play? | Pivot
The 'Creepy' Truth About Meta's New AI App | Pivot
May 09, 2025
Captions not detected. You can watch the video, but not search it. If you think this is an error, contact support.
01:06:26
The 'Creepy' Truth About Meta's New AI App | Pivot
Scott Galloway's 4th Grade Crush Surprises Him
November 14, 2025
Captions not detected. You can watch the video, but not search it. If you think this is an error, contact support.
02:36
Scott Galloway's 4th Grade Crush Surprises Him
How Trump Plans to Incentivize a Baby Boom | Pivot
April 22, 2025
Captions not detected. You can watch the video, but not search it. If you think this is an error, contact support.
01:02:37
How Trump Plans to Incentivize a Baby Boom | Pivot
Kara and Scott's AI Video Experiment Will Haunt Your Dreams | Pivot
May 30, 2025
Captions not detected. You can watch the video, but not search it. If you think this is an error, contact support.
01:05:50
Kara and Scott's AI Video Experiment Will Haunt Your Dreams | Pivot
How Trump Is “Workshopping” His Iran War Plan | Pivot
March 03, 2026
Captions not detected. You can watch the video, but not search it. If you think this is an error, contact support.
01:07:31
How Trump Is “Workshopping” His Iran War Plan | Pivot