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Scott Galloway's Jokes Don't Always Work

April 23, 2026 / 01:18

This episode features discussions on humor, personal anecdotes, and jokes about alcohol, influencers, and Bigfoot. The conversation includes jokes about a first girlfriend, drinking habits, and humorous takes on measurement systems.

The host shares a story about his first girlfriend, who was Mexican and struggled with alcoholism, leading to a joke about her favorite book. The humor continues with a series of jokes involving a priest and a child molester, showcasing a dark comedic style.

Further jokes include a play on words involving Bigfoot and metric measurements, as well as a humorous story about being pulled over while with an influencer. The light-hearted banter continues with more jokes about Sasquatch.

The episode maintains a comedic tone throughout, with the hosts engaging in playful exchanges and reactions to each other's jokes.

TLDR

The episode features dark humor and jokes about alcohol, influencers, and Bigfoot.

Episode

1:18
00:00:00
Yeah. My first girlfriend was Mexican and an alcoholic. And I asked her what her favorite book was, and she said,
00:00:06
"Tquila mockingb bird." That's not very good, isn't it? Well, three guys walk
00:00:10
into a bar. Alcoholic, a priest, and a child molester. And that's just the first guy.
00:00:15
When someone asked me if I ever drink in the morning, I'm like, "No, cuz I don't
00:00:18
wake up till noon." >> Oh my god. Okay, enough with the drinking drugs.
00:00:22
>> I'm not on a roll today, Cara. I'm not on a roll. By the way, do you know what
00:00:27
they call Bigfoot in Europe? >> What? Big meter. >> Big meter. I don't get it.
00:00:33
>> Metric. Metric. Foot versus meter. Unit of measurement. >> Okay, that didn't work. Okay, next one.
00:00:39
>> Big meter. Come on. You were talking about influencers. So, my girlfriend was
00:00:45
an influencer and on the ride back from Palm Springs, she decided for a little fun, she would straddle me
00:00:50
>> and we got pulled over and I was charged with uh driving under the influencer.
00:00:54
>> Okay, that's good. That's good. I like that one. You know how Bigfoot tells
00:00:59
time? >> No. Tell Scott. >> Cara. He looks at his Sasquatch. >> Okay, good one. That's good. That's
00:01:05
good. The others, not so good. >> Hit or miss. You got to fire up the the claw a little better.

Episode Highlights

  • Tquila Mockingbird
    A humorous twist on a classic book title.
    “"Tquila mockingb bird." That's not very good, is it?”
    @ 00m 06s
    April 23, 2026
  • Driving Under the Influencer
    A funny anecdote about being pulled over while with an influencer.
    “"Driving under the influencer."”
    @ 00m 52s
    April 23, 2026

Episode Quotes

  • "Tquila mockingb bird." That's not very good, is it?
    Scott Galloway's Jokes Don't Always Work
  • "No, cuz I don't wake up till noon.".
    Scott Galloway's Jokes Don't Always Work
  • "Driving under the influencer.".
    Scott Galloway's Jokes Don't Always Work
  • "He looks at his Sasquatch.".
    Scott Galloway's Jokes Don't Always Work

Key Moments

  • Alcoholic Joke00:08
  • Bigfoot Humor00:22
  • Influencer Story00:42
  • Sasquatch Punchline00:59
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