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I want to begin by thanking you Adam
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grant for having me here and thanking
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Wharton for hosting me and thank all of
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you guys for being here my name is Emily
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Esfahani Smith and I'm the author of the
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power of meaning I've been working as a
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journalist and a writer for for several
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years now and it's really special for me
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to be here with you because but the idea
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for my book was born in this very
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building several years ago when I was a
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grad student sitting downstairs
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listening to a lecture about the
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difference between a happy life and a
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meaningful life and so I was so excited
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by what I heard that I eventually wrote
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a book about it so it's really it's
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amazing for me to be here with you in
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this place I want to begin by telling
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you the story of a woman named Ashley
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Richmond who I had the chance to spend
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some time with several years ago so
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Ashley doesn't lead a very glamorous
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life she doesn't work for a fortune 500
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company she didn't go to a fancy school
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like Penn she doesn't shop at places
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like Whole Foods what she does do is
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spend the majority of her time shoveling
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animal poop from one place to another
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her hours are terrible and so is her pay
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and she rarely gets vacations off and
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yet Ashley told me that this is her
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dream job Ashley is a zookeeper who
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cares for giraffes Wallabies and
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kangaroos at the Detroit Zoo Ashley
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doesn't always feel happy or good when
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she's working in fact 80% of her time
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she said is spent cleaning animal waste
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which can be physically grueling when
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you're dealing with large animals like
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giraffes and yet she told me that her
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job is really meaningful in fact she
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thinks of it as a calling when I asked
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her several years ago what makes your
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life meaningful this is what she told me
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my purpose she said isn't cleaning up
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animal waste my purpose is caring for
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the animals and doing everything I can
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to make their lives as good and as rich
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as possible none of the animals here she
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said chose to be here and yet I have a
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responsibility to ensure that their
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lives are as healthy and assume
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is I can make them so my book was
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inspired by the stories of people like
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Ashley people whose stories I thought
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weren't being celebrated in our culture
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and in our conversations about what a
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good life is in our culture we're
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constantly getting the message that a
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good life is a happy life that we should
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pursue happiness and a life of comfort
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and ease and that if we do we'll end up
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being healthier and more successful
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better liked more attractive even the
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whole point and purpose of life were led
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to believe is to feel happy but as I was
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reflecting on that message several years
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ago in this building I realized that so
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many of the people who I admire most and
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who I look up to weren't focused on the
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single-minded pursuit of their own
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happiness they were devoted instead to
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leading meaningful lives in other words
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they were focused on how they could
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contribute to and improve the world
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around them so these were you know the
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quiet heroes of everyday life the nurses
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the teachers the parents the plumbers
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the bureaucrats who through their
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contributions helped made the world go
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round but they were also the great men
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and women of history Socrates and the
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Buddha Martin Luther King jr. and mother
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Teresa people who led hard lives but
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good lives so I think at this point I
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should say I don't have any problems
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with happiness I like to feel happy and
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I want the people I love to be happy as
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well
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but I do think that the happiness
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zeitgeist has led us astray so happiness
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is a positive emotion it comes and goes
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it's ephemeral and scientists have found
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that when we chase happiness and when we
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set it as our goal and pursue it
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single-mindedly that we ultimately end
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up feeling unhappy and even lonely but
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it's different with meaning so meaning
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the defining feature of a meaningful
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life is connecting and contributing to
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something that's bigger than you are and
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when we devote ourselves to this when we
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devote ourselves to leading meaningful
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lives we ultimately experience a deeper
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and more enduring form of well-being we
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feel more satisfied more at peace more
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content and I think this makes sense
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because human beings are meaning seeking
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creatures we yearn for meaning when we
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look up at the stars for example we
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don't see random balls of fire
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we see constellations we see warriors
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and bears we craft myths and stories
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about what we see we wonder about our
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place in the universe how the world came
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to be how we can make our individual
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lives count in the grand scheme of
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things we all want to know that our
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lives amount to more than the sum of our
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experiences that they matter
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we all need a why or reason to help us
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get through the good and the bad of life
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and no to people I found researching my
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book will necessarily have the same why
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so for the last several years I've
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traveled all across the country and I've
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spoken to dozens of people about what
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makes their lives meaningful people like
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Ashley but also a former drug dealer and
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astronaut a woman dying of cancer
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I spoke to psychologists and
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sociologists and philosophers and I
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wanted to know what exactly the building
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blocks of a meaningful life are and how
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we can build them up in our own lives
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along the way no two people told me the
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exact same things we all find meaning in
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our own individual ways at the same time
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there were four themes I found that came
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up again and again in the stories that I
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heard and in the research that I read
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when people talk about what makes their
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lives meaningful they talk about having
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a sense of belonging so being in
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relationships where we feel valued and
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like we matter and where we treat other
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people like they're valued and like they
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matter they talked about having purpose
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so something worthwhile to do with their
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time they talked about storytelling or
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crafting narratives that help them
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understand themselves and their place in
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the world and they talked about
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transcendence these moments in nature or
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through prayer and ritual where they
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felt a sense of self loss and connected
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to something much bigger than themselves
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so those are the four pillars or
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building blocks of a meaningful life
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purpose belonging storytelling and
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transcendence so I talked about all of
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them in my book but I want to dive a
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little bit more closely into
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storytelling right now because I think
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it might be the most interesting and
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perhaps unexpected of the pillars so
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storytelling is really about your own
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life story what's the story that you
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tell yourself about
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life it's the act of taking our
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experiences and weaving them into a
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narrative that explains who we are and
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where we came from it's it's how we make
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sense of our experiences and the person
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that we've been and it's the act itself
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and not necessarily even sharing our
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story with others that really builds
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meaning because it provides a framework
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it helps us see the patterns within our
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lives and it gives our lives a sense of
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coherence and integration but not all
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stories it turns out are created equal
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when it comes to leading a meaningful
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life the psychologist Dan McAdams at
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Northwestern University has studied
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people leading meaningful lives and he's
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found that they all tell particular
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kinds of stories about their lives in
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particular they tell stories of
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redemption which are stories that move
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from bad to good so let me give you an
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example I spoke to a man several years
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ago named Carlos Eyre so Carlos he's in
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his 50s now and he grew up in Havana
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Havana Cuba and he was just a child when
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the Cuban Revolution happened and he
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talks about the Revolution as the place
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in his where his narrative broke into so
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before the Revolution he was leading a
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really happy pampered life in Havana
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doing what mischievous boys do and after
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the Revolution he was forced to flee to
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America his parents did not come so he
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was an orphan he lived in dire poverty
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experienced discrimination daily for
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being Cuban so it was it was a very
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difficult life and yet as he was telling
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me his story he said even though that
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was hard and even though the Revolution
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completely changed the path of my life I
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grew as a result of it I became a more
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compassionate person because I suffered
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and so I began to understand the
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suffering of others more deeply my
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spiritual life deepened he said I was
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able to discover what my purpose
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ultimately is which is he's a historian
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so he that that's what his purpose is it
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was difficult for him and it took him
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years to make sense of that traumatic
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experience in his life and it was a
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painful process but it was one that
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ultimately brought him a sense of peace
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and resolution about a difficult chapter
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in his life story
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now you can imagine Carlos taking the
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same exact events and experiences and
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crafting a very different type of story
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about them so he could have said I was
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leading a really wonderful life in Cuba
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in my childhood and then the Revolution
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happened and it ruined everything he
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never saw his father again for example
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but he didn't tell that story he chose
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to tell a different story
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and psychologists find that when people
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tell the negative kinds of stories the
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stories that move from bad if Empress
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excuse me from good to bad I was in
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Havana Cuba and then the revolution
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happened and then everything was ruined
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but they actually experienced more
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depression and they're more likely to
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experience their lives as less
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meaningful but Carlos chose to tell a
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different story and we all have the
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power to do that we're all the authors
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of our own stories we can interpret our
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stories we can revise them and we can
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edit them to lead more meaningful lives
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and to experience more meaning in life
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and one of my favorite studies about
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this was actually by Adam grant and a
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researcher at the University of Michigan
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named dick Jane Dutton and they had
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participants come into their lab and
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they divided them into two and they told
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half of them to tell a story about
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themselves being a generous person and
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they told the other half to tell a story
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about themselves as being the recipient
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of someone else's generosity and what
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they found was that the people who told
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the story about themselves being
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generous ultimately went out after the
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study and were more generous the story
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they told changed their behavior and led
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them to lead life in more meaningful
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ways there's a myth in our culture that
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this search for meaning that leading a
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meaningful life is some grand pursuit
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that you have to cure cancer or write
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the great American novel in order to
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lead a meaningful life but that's not
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true if you want to lead a meaningful
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life be a storyteller take ten minutes
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of your day and reflect on what the
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defining moments of your life are ask
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yourself how do these experiences make
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me grow it might be a painful process
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because some of us are shaped most
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profoundly through suffering and law
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but try to find a positive meaning in
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those experiences we all have the power
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to tell and to retell our life story in
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more positive ways so tell a story that
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moves you forward thank you
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[Applause]
