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okay so so when we think about many
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decisions that we make throughout our
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lives uh often a central component of
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the decision- making process is the
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emotional conflict that we experience
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while making the the the choice now when
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we think about emotional conflict there
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there are a lot of different symptoms
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for emotional conflicts like increased
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heart rate body language facial
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expressions and so on now when we think
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about it these are observables so it's
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very easy for us to spot others it could
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be strangers at a store family members
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managers very easy for us to spot that
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someone is experiencing a certain amount
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of choice conflict the question we ask
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in this research is a very
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straightforward yet important and
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understudied question is how does
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observing someone else going through
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this emotional conflict while making a
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decision impact our own prefer
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preferences will we be more or less
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likely to choose a similar option chosen
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by a conflicted versus a non-conflicted
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person so what we found is that when I
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observe someone else going through this
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emotional conflict in Choice I'll be
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more likely to actually choose a similar
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option the question is why what we find
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is very interesting we find that our
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immediate instinctive reaction towards
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someone else's pain and an Agony if you
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will over over a decision is to
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empathize with this individual we'll
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start taking this person
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perspective sharing his emotional states
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which leads to what is called greater
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connectedness or merging so so in a
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sense I'll start seeing this person in a
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more self-like manner okay which and
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this process will essentially lead me to
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choose a similar option okay um what's
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interesting is that we find that this
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tendency is much stronger for people who
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have a greater innate tendency to
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empathize with others so so for example
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in one in one experiment in one study uh
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people observed someone making a certain
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decision which to which of two Charities
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to donate money to what they didn't know
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is that this person was actually a paid
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actor one time this person acted as if
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the decision is extremely conflicted and
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difficult and in another condition uh it
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wasn't very difficult and what we find
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is that whenever we observe people
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observe this conflicted actor they were
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much more likely to donate to the
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charity chosen by this conflicted
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person so so I think there are several
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intriguing results uh uh the first one
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is that this response to to emotional
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conflict experienced by others is is
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extremely innate it's spontaneous it it
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will happen even if we observe a
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complete stranger that we that we do not
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know another interesting uh finding is
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that we find that this happens also when
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we know that the choice made by this
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person is completely random so let me
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give you an example so so imagine I'm
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playing a certain game and You observe
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me and the game is pretty simple I have
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two doors behind one door there's a huge
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monetary reward let's say a million
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dollars okay behind another door there's
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nothing now the game is very simple I
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need to open one of the doors and
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whatever is behind this door I get to
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keep I'll be conflicted I mean I have a
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chance here to win million dollars I
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don't know what to do I'll probably
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think about it and you'll see this
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conflict now this conflict that you
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observe uh would not inform you about
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how thoughtful I am right there is no
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right decision it's a completely random
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decision yet what we find is even in
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these situations where you know it's
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completely random you'll be more likely
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to choose the same door that I chose
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when I uh when I uh was experienced
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conflict in Choice the Third intriguing
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result is that this effect will happen
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only if you believe that the conflict
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that I experience and exhibit is
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warranted to the decision at hand if you
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see me conflicted about something you
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think is Trivial the effect would
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completely go away and sometimes even
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reverse so going back to the doors
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example let's say that behind one door
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there's million but now behind the the
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second door there's $900,000 so in both
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cases say no matter what I choose I'm
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going to make a lot of money now if you
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see me conflicted about this decision
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you'll actually gravitate away from
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it so first at the the most higher level
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abstract level we find that pain and
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conflict bring us brings us closer now
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we can think about many situations
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managers politicians and and other
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situations where there are certain group
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dynamics voting jury duty for example
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where one wishes to form or build a
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certain consensus around a certain
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decision he's about to make or already
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made now the common wisdom will be to be
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decisive right as a manager as a
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politician I need to show decisiveness
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This research act actually suggest that
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in some situations sharing the emotional
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conflict that you're experiencing while
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making a certain decision would actually
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be very helpful to build consensus uh as
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group members or or the team that I'm
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leading would have a greater tendency to
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choose uh like I did for example in one
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study we asked group members to cast a
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vote about a certain decision real
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decision that involved U monetary uh
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outcomes what we found is that the
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voting of the group converged to the
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voting of the first group member if this
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first group member showed conflict while
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making the choice so we see a very
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interesting group dynamics where one
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person is very conflicted how other
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others in the group would converge to
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the same
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choice so I think that the first of all
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this research suggests that when we
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think about social influence how others
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people's behaviors and choices impacts
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our own This research suggests that our
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preferences are shaped not only by the
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ultimate choice that others are making
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but also by the process leading to this
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choice if I see an emotional conflict
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then I'll I'll converge more so so next
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steps uh in terms of this re research is
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first of all to look at other decision
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cues other things that happens during
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the decisional process that might
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influence the observer's preferences we
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also started looking at how process cues
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such as conflict would impact not only
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my preferences but also my own decision
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process will I be more likely to be
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conflicted when I see others conflicted
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or less likely and so on and the third
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part the third uh uh in kind of uh uh
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investigation that that that we're
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looking at or research is H we're
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looking at from the other opposite side
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how does it make us feel when someone
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else sees that we're experiencing
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conflict in choice
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[Music]
