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Brene Brown to Adam Grant: Too many people play not to lose rather than to win

November 08, 2025 / 00:40

This episode features discussions on sports metaphors, ego, and the importance of hard conversations in winning. The guest emphasizes the difference between playing to win and playing not to lose.

The guest shares insights from their new book, particularly a chapter titled 'the tush push,' which connects Newtonian physics to team dynamics. They argue that teams can benefit from understanding these principles.

Key discussions include the necessity of prioritizing winning over protecting one's ego. The guest stresses that avoiding difficult conversations can hinder success in both sports and organizational settings.

Real-life examples illustrate how playing not to lose can manifest in various contexts, highlighting the need for open communication and a winning mindset.

TL;DR

Winning requires hard conversations, not just protecting ego.

Episode

0:40
00:00:00
I use a lot of sports metaphors as you
00:00:01
know including a chapter in the new book
00:00:03
called the tush push because every team
00:00:06
could benefit from some Newtonian
00:00:08
physics. I think for me I often talk
00:00:12
about playing to win versus playing not
00:00:14
to lose. I'm not everybody's cup of tea
00:00:17
as you can imagine but I just say look
00:00:19
what's more important to you to protect
00:00:21
your ego or to win? And if you want to
00:00:24
win, we're gonna have to have these hard
00:00:26
conversations. And if you can't have
00:00:27
these hard conversations, and you
00:00:30
continue to play not to lose, let me
00:00:32
tell you what that looks like. both on a
00:00:33
pitch, on a field, and in an
00:00:35
organization.

Episode Highlights

  • Playing to Win vs. Playing Not to Lose
    The speaker contrasts the mindset of winning with the fear of losing, urging hard conversations.
    “If you want to win, we're gonna have to have these hard conversations.”
    @ 00m 24s
    November 08, 2025

Episode Quotes

  • What's more important to you: to protect your ego or to win?
    Brene Brown to Adam Grant: Too many people play not to lose rather than to win
  • If you can't have these hard conversations, you'll continue to play not to lose.
    Brene Brown to Adam Grant: Too many people play not to lose rather than to win

Key Moments

  • Ego vs. Winning00:19
  • Hard Conversations00:24

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