00:00:00
You got it. What was that?
00:00:02
>> Don't be jealous of my massage ball. See
00:00:05
this? David has a sore neck or back.
00:00:09
Look now. Watch. It's like magic. Watch.
00:00:12
Just Just watch. Watch. Watch what I'm
00:00:14
doing. I put it there. Now I lean back.
00:00:18
>> Your butt.
00:00:21
>> That's where mine is. I lost it.
00:00:23
>> I'm only laughing cuz how did you know
00:00:25
that?
00:00:27
>> It's a magician. You go like this.
00:00:31
here.
00:00:31
>> Which reminds me.
00:00:33
>> See it? See it? Yeah. Where is it?
00:00:36
>> Okay. I like how we do all this tech
00:00:37
stuff while we're on. Listen.
00:00:41
Is that a piggy? Yeah, it is a little
00:00:43
piggy.
00:00:45
That's what you do when we we're trying
00:00:47
to get extra jokes out of a bit. Getting
00:00:49
a little wanky.
00:00:52
>> Do your pig You have a pig car.
00:00:55
>> That's all I got.
00:00:56
>> It's more like a warthog or something.
00:00:58
That sounds hard. That sounds
00:01:00
>> too hard to get my nose involved.
00:01:02
>> Mhm.
00:01:03
>> Um
00:01:04
>> Um
00:01:05
>> Yeah. Anyway,
00:01:06
>> I was saying,
00:01:07
>> are we all set?
00:01:08
>> Yeah, we're already going. The uh
00:01:10
>> Whoops.
00:01:11
>> The thing about that magic ball that
00:01:13
reminded me of Euphoria. Do you know
00:01:15
Euphoria is that show?
00:01:16
>> Yeah, of course. Sydney Sweeney in the
00:01:18
Hunt.
00:01:20
What's that mean for an Oscar? In the
00:01:23
Hunt. I mean, you know, she's so
00:01:24
brilliant. I mean, my god.
00:01:27
>> You watching that filth?
00:01:29
>> No, I don't see that. You know me, I'm a
00:01:31
housekeeper guy. I I watch that movie.
00:01:35
>> Housekeeper, right?
00:01:36
>> I Cuz when you love a movie and you're
00:01:39
seeing all the performances and all the
00:01:41
machinations. I saw it for a third time.
00:01:43
Sorry. On the airplane.
00:01:46
>> [ __ ] Horn dog.
00:01:48
>> They're both g gorgeous. That's a good
00:01:50
weird movie. I like it. We
00:01:52
>> Yeah, we talked all about it. But I I
00:01:54
think it's uh no surprise. It's like
00:01:57
three or 400 million globally. It's not
00:01:59
even a cartoon. It's just a cool They
00:02:02
call them sexy thrillers, Fatal
00:02:04
Attraction, and so forth.
00:02:06
>> But this one has that third act where
00:02:08
you kind of go, "Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:02:10
What?"
00:02:10
>> Yeah. What is happening?
00:02:12
>> Okay. I've got a quiz for you.
00:02:14
>> Answer till the end.
00:02:17
>> Okay.
00:02:18
Is it called the maid, the housekeeper,
00:02:24
the housekeeping,
00:02:26
or the housemmaid, or the maidke keeper?
00:02:30
>> It's something like one of I don't even
00:02:32
know which one's right.
00:02:33
>> Well, off the top of my head, I think
00:02:34
it's called Hey, keeping your house, but
00:02:38
housekeeper. I think it's just
00:02:39
housekeeper.
00:02:41
>> I've seen it both.
00:02:43
>> Is it called housekeeper?
00:02:44
>> I've seen both. When I look on box
00:02:46
office mojo and you click on it, I'll
00:02:48
just see you.
00:02:48
>> Oh, is it called that? Because I thought
00:02:49
it was called the housemmaid or
00:02:51
something where I go, I don't think this
00:02:52
is a word everyone uses even. It's a
00:02:54
compound word,
00:02:55
>> right? I mean, they went through so many
00:02:56
titles. You know, we interviewed Paul
00:02:58
Fig, the director.
00:02:59
>> Oh, that's right.
00:03:00
>> Um, one was, yo, you keeping that house?
00:03:03
Remember that one? I thought it doesn't
00:03:04
really clean it up person.
00:03:08
>> Yeah. Yeah. [ __ ] [ __ ] be
00:03:10
vacuuming. Remember that one?
00:03:13
>> That one? That was that was In and Out.
00:03:14
They barely even considered that.
00:03:16
>> In-N-Out was there for a minute, too.
00:03:18
It's a huge list.
00:03:19
>> Oh, it's the housemaid, right? I never
00:03:23
would have guessed that.
00:03:24
>> Oh, really? All this time, even when I
00:03:27
got on the airplane, I put in
00:03:29
housekeeper.
00:03:31
>> No, it said you I put in big boob girls
00:03:35
that clean the stairs and it was like,
00:03:37
"Oh, that movie. Is that what you want?"
00:03:39
And then it put in some alts. I was
00:03:40
like, "No, not those." What is that? I'm
00:03:44
sorry. All right. I'm from another time
00:03:45
in space. Uh um
00:03:49
Am and what's the actress's name? The
00:03:51
place
00:03:52
>> Amanda Sig Freed without Roy. Yeah.
00:03:54
>> Yeah. Sig Freed.
00:03:58
>> And her last name is hard and we're not
00:03:59
getting it right, but it's
00:04:00
>> I'll get me some Sig Freeds and Fries on
00:04:03
the side. She is so [ __ ] amazing in
00:04:06
this movie.
00:04:07
>> Yeah, she's great. And then they're both
00:04:09
stunning and then they're both good,
00:04:11
which is a good combo. And who's the
00:04:13
other guy? Chris Hemsworth. Is that who
00:04:14
it is? The main
00:04:15
>> No, the main uh crazy stud husband,
00:04:19
Heather. We got to give him some sugar.
00:04:22
>> I think it's Chris Hemsworth.
00:04:24
>> No.
00:04:26
No, it's not Chris Hemsworth.
00:04:28
>> No, Heather.
00:04:30
>> Sorry. Hold on.
00:04:32
>> Heather, what's going on?
00:04:34
>> Sleep at the wheel.
00:04:36
>> I went off the page.
00:04:37
>> No. Oh, good.
00:04:39
>> Until then, I'll tell you. She's on
00:04:40
>> Brandon
00:04:42
Glenar.
00:04:44
>> Bren Brendan Glennar.
00:04:46
>> That's real household name.
00:04:47
>> S K L E.
00:04:48
>> You know they used to say don't change
00:04:50
your name in Hollywood. I think we bring
00:04:52
that back.
00:04:53
>> Slenar.
00:04:55
>> I would hyped it up.
00:04:57
I would reverse it. Glendar Brendan. I
00:05:00
think that's a better thing. Sometimes
00:05:02
just a reverser. Like if he was Spade
00:05:04
David,
00:05:06
he'd be huge. Spade isn't bad, but if I
00:05:08
was him, I honestly would go by Brandon
00:05:11
Brendan and that would be cool. People
00:05:13
like, "Are you Brandon Brendan?" He's
00:05:14
like, "You mixed it up."
00:05:16
>> I just want to say he's Oscar worthy,
00:05:18
too. All three of them should have got
00:05:19
nominated. [ __ ] the Academy, man.
00:05:23
>> The bigger star guy, the Mexican guy was
00:05:25
playing the gardener. He's actually a
00:05:27
pretty big star.
00:05:28
>> He's great, too. No, it's just
00:05:29
>> And all he's doing is in the window like
00:05:31
this
00:05:33
>> and you go, he's coming into this at
00:05:35
some point. Yeah, it was great casting
00:05:38
for the staring creepy gardener. Who
00:05:40
hasn't had, you know, you're just in the
00:05:42
kitchen having breakfast and the
00:05:44
gardener's right up against the window
00:05:45
with his stick like this just staring at
00:05:48
you.
00:05:49
>> I even housekeeping I seem like
00:05:54
>> they're staring at me.
00:05:57
>> Well, some housekeepers don't really see
00:06:00
dirt, you know, if you don't have really
00:06:02
good glasses, you know.
00:06:04
When I Oh, forget. I will tell you that
00:06:07
in Sydney Sweeney in Euphoria. I was
00:06:09
thinking of the
00:06:11
>> Oh, she plays a piggy in Euphoria.
00:06:14
>> Does she?
00:06:14
>> That made me think of it.
00:06:15
>> Was it sexual roleplay? Okay, give me
00:06:17
the but give me the oneliner. What is
00:06:19
Euphoria for her?
00:06:20
>> Okay, here's the 2000 liner.
00:06:23
>> What?
00:06:23
>> Uh, Sena, which I say her name wrong.
00:06:26
>> She's cool.
00:06:27
>> Great actress. She I know she is. It's
00:06:29
really these two stories this season.
00:06:31
It's Dea
00:06:32
>> is involved in a drug ring
00:06:35
>> and Sydney Sweeney needs money with her
00:06:38
new marriage. So, she's doing Only Fans.
00:06:40
So, Only Fans. Oh, very trendy, hip
00:06:43
thing to talk about. But she obviously
00:06:45
doesn't mind a little bit of nudity. So,
00:06:48
it it g makes it more realistic because
00:06:49
a lot of actresses would play that, but
00:06:52
not
00:06:52
>> Well, really good. Let me ask you one if
00:06:54
you have any regrets like when you were
00:06:56
like someone in their 20s like if I was
00:06:59
I should have had my I should have been
00:07:02
really naked in a lot of movies in my
00:07:05
20s cuz I I was just ripped
00:07:07
>> for sure
00:07:08
>> and I regret it.
00:07:09
>> Did Police Academy for they go can you
00:07:11
skateboard? I said yes. And I said they
00:07:13
said any questions and I go I'm willing
00:07:15
to go full frontal.
00:07:17
They said okay well it's PG 13 but we'll
00:07:21
take it under consideration. DVD extras.
00:07:23
You know,
00:07:24
>> that's what I said. I said, I'm just
00:07:25
throwing it out there. It could be for
00:07:26
DVD extras. It could be for during the
00:07:28
credits.
00:07:30
>> In the peak of your physical prime, how
00:07:32
many push-ups could you do?
00:07:35
>> Probably barely a thousand. You know,
00:07:38
>> I I did so
00:07:41
>> 13 pull-ups. That's adorable. Now, let
00:07:44
me ask you a question.
00:07:45
>> It's actually hard, folks at home.
00:07:46
>> Well, let me ask you a question. Did
00:07:48
they allow you to do this motion where
00:07:51
you go up like that or you're just going
00:07:53
straight up?
00:07:54
>> Uh, it was I don't think they were these
00:07:57
which are easy.
00:07:58
>> That's called chin-ups. Oh.
00:08:00
>> Oh, there's a different name. These are
00:08:02
>> easier cuz you're using full bicep.
00:08:04
>> Yes.
00:08:05
>> These I get my broad shoulders involved.
00:08:07
>> But you go Did you go straight up and
00:08:09
down? This is high school, right? And I
00:08:11
I They let me step on a box to do it.
00:08:14
So, took some of the weight off.
00:08:18
Well, then you did Dana's perplex. No,
00:08:21
but when I go to the gym, there's
00:08:22
something called the gravitron. God dang
00:08:26
it. I wish I had one. Well,
00:08:27
>> the gravitron is something where you go,
00:08:31
>> you step on a platform and you put the
00:08:34
pin in and say,
00:08:36
>> it's not percentages, but you say, I
00:08:38
counter basically counterweight.
00:08:40
>> Yeah.
00:08:40
>> So, I put my body weight at about 13
00:08:44
pounds. And then I go
00:08:46
>> and you're still
00:08:47
>> And it's easier. Yeah. I can do about
00:08:49
five of those. Then I put it four
00:08:51
pounds,
00:08:52
>> right? Because say you weigh 150. Let's
00:08:54
just do a little quick arithmetic for
00:08:56
you.
00:08:57
>> You weigh 150 and you go down the thing
00:08:59
and put it in 100 pounds counterweight.
00:09:01
How much actual weight are you pulling
00:09:03
up?
00:09:04
>> 50.
00:09:11
>> What's that one? I have no idea.
00:09:14
>> Someone's being stabbed. Don't make me
00:09:16
bring mine out. But on Euphoria, long
00:09:19
story long.
00:09:20
>> Okay, let's go back.
00:09:21
>> Sydney Sweeney says this little piggy,
00:09:24
she's knows guys are in feet. So she's,
00:09:28
>> you know, pain. Then she puts her toes
00:09:30
in her mouth and like everyone's like
00:09:32
this.
00:09:33
>> Then she does something which I didn't
00:09:35
even know, even though I'm a creep. I
00:09:36
didn't know that a lot of guys like uh
00:09:39
oh I there's something it's called
00:09:41
something where she's bigger than life.
00:09:44
So she does something in a set that
00:09:46
looks like she's huge
00:09:48
and goes up to a guy and pushes her
00:09:50
boobs against the glass naked and like
00:09:52
like the uh Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.
00:09:55
That old movie that you remember when
00:09:57
you were about 30?
00:10:03
>> No, it's not rude. I love I love my age.
00:10:06
Look it up. No, I saw that in the 60s
00:10:09
probably. Wasn't it a 50s movie?
00:10:11
>> It wasn't Raquel Welch, was it?
00:10:13
>> No, she was in 1 million 1 million BC.
00:10:18
>> 1 million BC. Ever seen it. She's in a
00:10:21
bikini owners per capita.
00:10:24
>> Good one. That was quick. That was
00:10:25
quick. I want to give you some love on
00:10:27
that one.
00:10:28
>> Thank you.
00:10:29
>> That's a horse. Is this live from your
00:10:32
backyard?
00:10:34
That's a That's a rooster, brother.
00:10:38
>> Here's what I really thought of your
00:10:40
presentation today.
00:10:44
>> You're just gambling with these. You
00:10:46
just push a different button.
00:10:49
>> It costs like a$150. It works.
00:10:52
>> You're from Montana where men are men
00:10:54
and sheep are nervous.
00:10:56
>> I'm from Montana where men are men. And
00:10:59
then there's David Spade.
00:11:02
And then you got a little pip squeak.
00:11:05
>> Wait, so Euphoria.
00:11:07
>> Euphoria.
00:11:08
>> Am I still talking about Euphoria? I
00:11:10
want to play a bad guy like a drug
00:11:11
dealer. Like a real a real real prick on
00:11:14
Euphoria. Just no jokes. Just being an
00:11:15
[ __ ] I think it'll be good.
00:11:17
>> Let's put that in the ether that you
00:11:20
need that sort of casting.
00:11:21
>> I like that. We'll do that after
00:11:22
Grown-Ups. And uh also um Zenaia, she
00:11:27
has to do she has to mule coke over the
00:11:32
border. So they put it in balloons, you
00:11:34
know what I mean? Like this. And I'm
00:11:36
like, this is going to be good acting
00:11:37
where she dips them in wessland oil and
00:11:40
sticks them up her boo hole, right?
00:11:42
Because I think that's how you do it.
00:11:44
That's how I do it. So instead, she dips
00:11:47
them in um some sort of oil
00:11:50
>> and then she swallows them and pushes
00:11:52
them down his throat. I'm like rough. It
00:11:55
does look like she's doing it. She's not
00:11:57
doing it, Dana. You don't understand.
00:11:58
>> Oh, is Oh, you think this is appropriate
00:12:00
for children to have a woman?
00:12:02
>> Oh no. Piers Morgan is here.
00:12:03
>> Pierce Morgan's back.
00:12:04
>> Hold on.
00:12:05
>> Where is he? Grab it. Grab it. Where's
00:12:06
the stick? I like Piers Morgan. This is
00:12:09
going to be funny.
00:12:11
>> He always jumps in and says SOMETHING
00:12:13
STUPID. I DIDN'T DO A [ __ ] THING
00:12:15
WRONG. THIS IS DR. TONY FOUCHY and from
00:12:19
THE BOTTOM OF MY ALL NEW LEATHER
00:12:21
FOUCHIES. GO
00:12:24
[ __ ] YOURSELF.
00:12:27
>> I like Did you see the video of the
00:12:29
cruise ship where you see someone coming
00:12:31
out of the room like this
00:12:34
>> and it's Fouchy?
00:12:35
>> Oh, really?
00:12:36
>> And he goes, "Oh, I'm not supposed to be
00:12:37
here."
00:12:39
because I'm just supposed to start this
00:12:41
disease and leave on a little raft.
00:12:44
>> Hey man, I just make fun of everybody.
00:12:46
Get over it, people. But here we are.
00:12:48
>> So, David Spade, you're talking about
00:12:51
the TV show Euphoria for like 20 minutes
00:12:54
and a 40-minute podcast. Must be very
00:12:57
important to you to see a woman act like
00:12:59
a piggy
00:13:01
and suck her own thumb, her own feet. Is
00:13:04
that what you find funny? Do you think
00:13:06
people enjoy that? Is that is that your
00:13:08
goal in life is to do gross wiener jokes
00:13:11
and buntole references?
00:13:13
>> I mean, sort of, but I feel like
00:13:16
Euphoria is really they always say
00:13:18
pushing the limits, but it doesn't mean
00:13:19
it's in a great way. Like, I don't mind
00:13:21
that storyline. I don't think it's that
00:13:23
sexy. It's just sort of interesting that
00:13:26
she's trying to make money and she's on
00:13:28
a stream and so they tapping into what's
00:13:30
going on lately. But I think the other
00:13:32
story is a little better about Zenaia
00:13:33
getting involved in this drug ring
00:13:34
because she's in way over her head. Is
00:13:37
that what you find amusing?
00:13:38
>> Oh boy.
00:13:39
>> Something euphoria woman.
00:13:40
>> You went right back to that pierce.
00:13:43
>> Is that It's like
00:13:45
>> It's not amusing. It's more supposed to
00:13:47
be sexual.
00:13:48
>> Do you ever do jokes that don't have
00:13:50
sort of an x-rated sort of sensibility
00:13:52
to them? Can you do just like, you know,
00:13:55
the duck cross the road type jokes or is
00:13:57
it all
00:13:58
>> I don't really This is a real gotcha
00:14:00
moment for me. Uh I guess they're all
00:14:02
dirty.
00:14:04
Pierce, did you see the roast?
00:14:07
>> Um, yes. I watched it and then I had to
00:14:09
turn it off. I just got a stomach ache.
00:14:11
Got nauseous.
00:14:12
>> That's a lot of X-rated, really
00:14:14
offensive stuff.
00:14:15
>> Is this Why is it funny to have grown
00:14:17
men and women try to bring each other
00:14:19
down in such an x-rated fashion? Is that
00:14:22
what the Americans like now? Is that
00:14:24
what you're all about?
00:14:25
>> Um, that's a good question.
00:14:27
>> I said, is that what the Americans
00:14:29
>> Oh my god. I I was thinking
00:14:32
you like to think, don't you, Pierce?
00:14:36
Did you think it was too racial or do
00:14:37
you think it was too mean? Maybe.
00:14:40
>> Well, I don't find it funny when people
00:14:42
are truly sad and embarrassed at the
00:14:44
hands of a lethal comedian with five or
00:14:47
six writers writing inappropriate stuff
00:14:49
that goes right to the core of a human
00:14:51
being. I'd rather watch I Dream of Genie
00:14:53
reruns. You know that show? Yes.
00:14:56
>> Yeah, I know it. You're like Major
00:14:59
Healey going, "Hey, Genie, why don't you
00:15:00
make your tongue six feet long and lick
00:15:02
my nuts from the kitchen?
00:15:05
I can't."
00:15:08
>> Dana, that was a dice clay joke. I
00:15:10
thought it was so funny.
00:15:11
>> Oh, dice. The greatest.
00:15:14
>> I love dice.
00:15:15
>> You have a CI dream with Genie. And a
00:15:18
lot of people in the audience are like,
00:15:19
"Not really. We're younger." And he
00:15:20
goes, "Major healing." He's always like,
00:15:23
"Oh, Genie." She's like, "Can I do
00:15:25
anything?" He's like, "Oh, no. You could
00:15:28
make my bed and maybe a lemonade. What
00:15:31
are you, an idiot?"
00:15:34
Genie says, "Can I do anything?" You
00:15:36
know what, Genie? You can.
00:15:40
How about you make your tongue 8 ft long
00:15:42
and lick my balls from the kitchen?
00:15:46
>> On tour now with John Loveitz, by the
00:15:48
way. Run and get your tickets.
00:15:50
>> Dice. I'm gonna see him and I'm gonna
00:15:51
tell him, "Do that joke."
00:15:53
>> Yeah.
00:15:54
>> So funny. I know.
00:15:55
>> Oh yeah, he's out with love a lot. Love
00:15:57
it was at the Chris Rock, which we
00:15:59
should say in our sister podcast,
00:16:02
>> right? Our other podcast where we
00:16:06
>> Chris Rock,
00:16:07
>> we filmed it live at the Orion maybe
00:16:10
>> and it's out right now.
00:16:12
>> Right. It's out right now. Love it came
00:16:13
to watch. We had a big crowd. It was a
00:16:15
lot of fun.
00:16:17
>> And uh Chris Rock was hysterical as
00:16:19
usual.
00:16:20
>> Mhm. Hey John, I like your jacket.
00:16:23
jealous? No, not really. Not jealous.
00:16:29
John was in full form.
00:16:31
>> Do you know all he likes blue, which I
00:16:32
do, too. And all his cars are blue.
00:16:36
>> And most of them have a flat tire or at
00:16:38
least
00:16:39
>> and his balls.
00:16:41
>> They sit in the front. I'm kidding.
00:16:47
>> Oh, I saw this
00:16:49
>> Spencer Pratt. They they're giving him
00:16:51
[ __ ] now that we're talking about the
00:16:52
election now in town. Spencer Trap from
00:16:55
reality show. It falls into showbiz. But
00:16:58
>> he's from the hills.
00:17:00
>> He's from the hills, but you know 20
00:17:01
years ago like a lot of people 20 years
00:17:03
ago, right? So
00:17:04
>> yeah. Mhm.
00:17:05
>> But he is trying. I don't know if he's
00:17:06
going to win. I don't know if he's that
00:17:08
good. I don't know. I just know it's
00:17:09
very interesting to see like a guy out
00:17:11
of the blue come in.
00:17:12
>> Yeah.
00:17:13
>> And shake it up because LA there is some
00:17:14
fixes we could do. There is definitely
00:17:16
some fixes. It's not It's not perfect.
00:17:19
never will be perfect.
00:17:21
>> Uh, but they were busting his balls.
00:17:23
Sorry, was Lauren in there?
00:17:25
>> Uh, yeah. There's no such thing as
00:17:27
utopia.
00:17:29
>> Oh, that's a good that's a good thing
00:17:31
for Lauren to add. I like that.
00:17:35
>> He's just waiting for something else to
00:17:37
say.
00:17:40
>> Looks like a duck.
00:17:41
>> This It's okay to have a lull in a
00:17:43
podcast when there's three million that
00:17:45
they could click to.
00:17:47
>> Yeah. You know what? You don't need to
00:17:49
talk over each other. Just give it some
00:17:50
air. Give it some space.
00:17:54
Uh, so he lives in an Airstream, which
00:17:58
funnily enough when I used to roll with
00:18:02
Shawn Penn, he
00:18:04
>> he
00:18:04
>> had one in Malibu. Yeah,
00:18:06
>> he had one because when he lived with
00:18:07
Madonna, which some people are too young
00:18:09
to remember that, their house burned
00:18:11
down. It was like an acre in Malibu on
00:18:12
the mountain. And one time we went out
00:18:15
there and I was like, "I thought our
00:18:17
house burned down. I think I saw on TV."
00:18:20
>> He goes, "No, I still live there." So he
00:18:21
had an airstream
00:18:23
>> and he just drove out in the middle of
00:18:24
this burnt acre.
00:18:26
>> Yeah.
00:18:26
>> Parked in front of an airirstream.
00:18:28
>> He's like, "Want some flap jacks?" So
00:18:31
that's what Spencer has. And he did an
00:18:33
ad where he goes, "Yeah, Sean was like,
00:18:37
you know what he did? played a cassette
00:18:39
of Jewel because Juel was
00:18:44
>> directing her video. Okay.
00:18:45
>> I think dating her
00:18:47
>> and uh wanted me to hear. Anyway, that
00:18:49
was that's that gives you the timeline.
00:18:52
>> So, here's Spencer Pratt. It just
00:18:54
reminded me of that Airstream,
00:18:56
>> right?
00:18:57
>> And he said, "Here's where I live.
00:18:59
>> Here's where Karen Bass and all the
00:19:00
other people live. Mansions." You know,
00:19:03
>> they say mansions for like
00:19:05
>> $3 million. Meanwhile, those aren't for
00:19:08
sure mansions where you'd picture.
00:19:09
>> What does When does a big ass house
00:19:11
become a mansion? 5 seconds.
00:19:14
>> I think it it's not what you think as a
00:19:16
kid with like 20 rooms and like that.
00:19:18
It's
00:19:18
>> I said Oh, [ __ ] Um I think 20 rooms.
00:19:26
>> Wrong.
00:19:27
>> I hate that I like the piggy.
00:19:29
>> Well, I don't know why I picked the
00:19:31
piggy. It seems to have an overarching
00:19:34
meaning about a lot of things. Here's
00:19:35
what I saw. And I don't know if
00:19:37
anything's true. All blah blah blah is
00:19:39
when the fire happened, house burnt
00:19:41
down. I'm sure he had an Airstream and
00:19:43
he came out of it. But then I guess
00:19:46
unless it's bogus, he now lives at the
00:19:49
Bellair Hotel and his family lives in
00:19:52
someplace else.
00:19:53
>> Right. That's what that's what they I
00:19:55
was getting at is the ad shows he's like
00:19:57
standing in front of the airream which
00:19:59
I'm sure he is real because he put that
00:20:02
on there after it burned down cuz they
00:20:04
don't know where to go.
00:20:05
>> But TMZ asked him popped him on it and
00:20:08
he said oh well I don't really live
00:20:10
anywhere so I can say I live there cuz
00:20:12
that's what I own.
00:20:14
>> I stay at the Bair Hotel for the last
00:20:16
month because of
00:20:18
>> because of death threats
00:20:19
>> which is possible if he just sits there.
00:20:21
people can just drive up right up to him
00:20:23
and beat him up or
00:20:24
>> Well, once he got now
00:20:27
new kind of fame in the political arena,
00:20:30
>> political is very scary. Yeah,
00:20:31
>> you got to be able to wear a Kevlar
00:20:33
jacket under your t-shirt
00:20:35
>> and he has security now and I saw a
00:20:36
picture of that and then his maybe his
00:20:38
kids are up in
00:20:39
>> Mhm.
00:20:40
>> Santa Barbara. Fine. It is it's a half a
00:20:43
gotcha.
00:20:44
But I have to say, when you're starting
00:20:46
to do well, there's someone else here
00:20:48
running. And you know how it is when
00:20:49
people start to do well,
00:20:52
one side or the other is going to go,
00:20:53
we'll take care of that. And then they
00:20:54
dig a little harder and try to make sure
00:20:57
no one gets too ahead of the race. And
00:20:59
so both sides are really, it's a blood
00:21:02
bath here. And also for governor, you
00:21:04
know,
00:21:04
>> yeah, politics is a brutal uh thing to
00:21:07
go into. I I'm really kind of amazed how
00:21:10
thick skinned people get with the
00:21:13
constant
00:21:14
um you know like uh Bill O'Reilly said
00:21:17
about Trump, he can take more punishment
00:21:19
than anybody else. Just just as far as
00:21:21
just the onslaught of hate.
00:21:22
>> I couldn't take it. I couldn't take it.
00:21:24
>> I can't I can't even read the comments
00:21:26
saying your hair wasn't good today. I
00:21:28
roll up and
00:21:29
>> I can't say the comments I'm about to
00:21:30
get for my hair. Uh
00:21:32
>> and most of them are not from me.
00:21:34
>> I will say not to defend Trump. So when
00:21:37
he was building, of course everything I
00:21:39
say is probably not true, but when he
00:21:41
was building that addition to the White
00:21:44
House, he says, "Okay, I'm building it
00:21:47
>> with everyone's mad, but I'm paying for
00:21:50
it." When Obama did it, it was tax me
00:21:52
and my friends and donors. Great.
00:21:54
>> Yeah.
00:21:54
>> So you can't get mad.
00:21:56
>> But lately, I think it's moved to tax
00:21:59
dollars. So, I think that's a trick
00:22:01
because they're giving Gavin Newsome
00:22:03
[ __ ]
00:22:04
>> because the state capital is being built
00:22:06
for a billion.
00:22:07
>> Mhm.
00:22:07
>> It seems high. Um, both of them when you
00:22:11
get to a billion seem high for a big
00:22:13
house. Uh, a big whatever it is, state
00:22:16
capital or the White House, it's all but
00:22:19
I think well, it must be a security
00:22:22
thing with bunkers and [ __ ] That that's
00:22:23
got to be it because I don't understand.
00:22:26
Uh, so I do think Trump shouldn't have
00:22:29
said that that addendum of like, oh, now
00:22:32
it's going to be taxpayers.
00:22:34
>> I had not heard that Governor Jerry
00:22:36
Brown just lived in in like a little or
00:22:40
something. I don't think he lived in
00:22:41
where the the mansion. Yeah, he lived in
00:22:43
like a little house. That guy was
00:22:45
>> Leave that to Xi Pink.
00:22:46
>> He was the real deal. Okay. You know,
00:22:50
now he lives up in northern Nevada in
00:22:52
some kind of track of land. We'll take
00:22:54
that little bottom triangle of Nevada.
00:22:57
>> He made a hut out of hickory and that's
00:23:00
his main abode. All right.
00:23:02
>> Just give me whatever little rocket man
00:23:04
lives in. Just a little [ __ ] shack.
00:23:07
Little stabbing cabin.
00:23:09
>> Get up there near Wendover. You know,
00:23:11
you can go drop a couple silver dollars
00:23:13
if you're feeling
00:23:15
>> Wendover is a place I almost got killed
00:23:17
in the private jet
00:23:19
>> in Nevada.
00:23:21
>> Yeah. There's a big there's a casino.
00:23:22
You can fly into Salt Lake City and
00:23:24
drive an hour and a half and there's
00:23:26
there's a casino in Nevada. Way way up
00:23:28
north.
00:23:29
>> Sure. I played it.
00:23:30
>> It's a toddling town. You probably have.
00:23:32
You'd remember it. I'm going to Yuma,
00:23:34
Arizona. Beep beep. Hi. I'm from
00:23:36
Arizona.
00:23:36
>> Gosh. Scraping the bottom of the
00:23:38
>> I think you're going with me. Are we
00:23:39
doing Yuma?
00:23:40
>> Are we doing Yuma?
00:23:42
>> What?
00:23:44
>> You know, it's lit. It's literally down
00:23:46
by Mexico and California. It's right
00:23:48
there.
00:23:48
>> Well, wait a minute. I I got I don't
00:23:50
know if I have that in my calendar.
00:23:52
>> You're doing it. You're doing an hour 20
00:23:54
and I'm doing three.
00:23:55
>> No, you're I'm opening up with a hot
00:23:58
seven and just getting out getting a
00:24:00
diet coke and watch the magic from the
00:24:02
wings.
00:24:03
>> That'd be you.
00:24:05
>> I gear up, guy. Let's go.
00:24:10
>> We're blabbing. Oh, I wish this is
00:24:12
>> I know. Hold on a sec. There's a special
00:24:14
guest.
00:24:15
>> Hello.
00:24:17
Ah, how are you guys doing?
00:24:19
>> That guy looks like Epstein, but it's
00:24:21
not him.
00:24:21
>> I am not Brian Epstein, you silly fool.
00:24:24
Epste everybody. Oh, whatever.
00:24:26
>> The Beatles.
00:24:28
>> I used to manage the Beatles. Yes.
00:24:30
>> Yeah. Okay.
00:24:31
>> Yes, I used to manage the Beatles. Now I
00:24:33
manage my mustache. Jealous. Can you
00:24:35
grow a mustache like this? I look like
00:24:38
Jeffrey Epstein. It's the bane of my
00:24:40
existence.
00:24:41
>> But I'm not him and I'm not in witness
00:24:44
protection by it.
00:24:47
Dana, did you see the roast? By the way,
00:24:49
>> some response.
00:24:52
>> I was going along with it. That's worse
00:24:54
than the pig reaction.
00:24:55
>> No, I was laughing.
00:24:58
Um, the roast. Yeah, I've seen clips.
00:25:00
Yep. Mhm.
00:25:02
>> Anything jump out to you? The the the
00:25:05
comments I got after were a little mean
00:25:08
and sometimes not really jokey, just
00:25:11
really rough. And then Michael Chase
00:25:13
said, "It shouldn't be where a lot of a
00:25:17
black roast with more white writers."
00:25:19
>> So, I mean, I think you can always dig
00:25:21
in and find something negative, but
00:25:23
roast are [ __ ] brutal. Don't even get
00:25:25
involved. It's just so brutal. You don't
00:25:26
want to be in there. You don't want to
00:25:27
be in the room. You don't want to be I
00:25:29
thought they shouldn't have had those
00:25:30
actresses there because I I feel like
00:25:32
Netflix was like, "Hey, you should do
00:25:33
the roast. It'll be fun. You don't know
00:25:35
much about it." But it's a big event
00:25:38
>> and you can make fun of people and then
00:25:40
they they just get eviscerated. They
00:25:42
don't even know what's coming. It's like
00:25:44
>> Yeah. I mean, you know, again, I grew up
00:25:47
with the sort of uh Jimmy Stewart, Dean
00:25:50
Martin Rose, and those were great.
00:25:52
>> They were It was all kind of a happy
00:25:54
thing. But at one point, Rose jumped the
00:25:57
shark and went downtown into what is the
00:26:00
flest most like the first time I saw one
00:26:03
and really watched it was Chvy Chase.
00:26:05
That's the one that we're
00:26:06
>> jump. Then I saw the camera and I could
00:26:10
tell there was pain in his eyes and I
00:26:12
thought, is this like an execution or
00:26:14
something? This is not friendly, funny
00:26:17
chubby, you fall down a lot. It was
00:26:19
like,
00:26:19
>> right.
00:26:20
>> So, it went from Sinatra getting roasted
00:26:23
by Don Rickles, his friends, you know,
00:26:25
Paul Newman, huge stars. John Wayne, it
00:26:28
went to uh Chevy was the first one where
00:26:30
I think they just hired assassins. when
00:26:33
it's not a friend
00:26:35
>> and just a good road comic
00:26:38
>> and they're like this next comic and
00:26:39
they're like hey Chevy you [ __ ]
00:26:41
[ __ ] and he's like
00:26:42
>> me who's this guy and then it's like
00:26:45
>> over and over what a piece of [ __ ] you
00:26:47
are and then you go this kind of lost
00:26:49
the fun
00:26:50
>> yeah I know well I should probably
00:26:52
announce this that I did sign up to to
00:26:55
be roasted
00:26:56
>> you would get a lot of money to be
00:26:57
roasted
00:26:59
>> right but here's my strategy and tell me
00:27:02
what you think about about it. So
00:27:03
they're, "Hey, your movie's bomb. This
00:27:05
and that." I will just
00:27:07
>> pretty much cry the entire time.
00:27:10
>> Yeah.
00:27:10
>> Where what happened to you? Why are you
00:27:12
even saying this, man? I will just be
00:27:15
I'll just be in tears. I'll roll in a
00:27:17
ball and just cry the entire 90 minutes.
00:27:20
What do you think, Heather?
00:27:22
>> I like it. I I would say I would say
00:27:25
this. If I get roasted the whole time,
00:27:27
they'll have a mic. I mean, you just
00:27:28
hear this. Sticks and stones. I make my
00:27:30
bones my worst sticks. That's byebye.
00:27:33
>> Yeah, but how about this? Like, roast
00:27:35
me. Just say anything.
00:27:36
>> Hey, Dana, that's a dumb plant.
00:27:39
>> Shut up. You shut your face, man.
00:27:43
I DON'T LIKE YOU, YOU [ __ ] I mean,
00:27:45
that's me at the roast.
00:27:46
>> Okay, give me one.
00:27:47
>> I'll give you one. Hey, David Spade. Uh,
00:27:51
you're Joe Dirt, not
00:27:53
>> this roast is over.
00:27:56
And then I walk out.
00:27:57
>> Here's me on the roast, right? Okay. To
00:28:00
roast me.
00:28:00
>> Okay. Hey, Dana. Do you like I guess you
00:28:02
like five our energy. You have three
00:28:04
boxes
00:28:04
>> and then I you have to imagine me in an
00:28:08
ejection seat. I'm like what' you what'
00:28:10
you say
00:28:13
>> and I just hit the ceiling.
00:28:14
>> I'm not going to sit and take it.
00:28:16
>> [ __ ] no. There you go.
00:28:19
>> Well, definitely you bring two or three
00:28:20
of these.
00:28:21
>> You could play that after every roast
00:28:22
joke they do against you.
00:28:24
>> Yeah. But
00:28:25
>> but there were there were some good
00:28:26
jokes. I have to say this roast I'm not
00:28:28
saying it was Chvy Chase. It was a good
00:28:29
roast. I only saw about an hour, but you
00:28:32
see the clips and you go, "Oh,
00:28:34
>> rough, rough." It's just that Yeah, it
00:28:37
whatever. It's raising money for a
00:28:39
charity, right?
00:28:41
>> Sort of.
00:28:42
>> I mean, sorry. I
00:28:44
>> I think Kevin Hart gets paid.
00:28:46
>> Well, that Chelsea Handler took it.
00:28:48
Chelsea looked I thought she looked
00:28:50
great. I mean, she was really,
00:28:54
>> again, I don't even know if I would have
00:28:55
gone about Chelsea. She's funny, but And
00:28:58
she did some good jokes. It's just when
00:28:59
you start everyone's
00:29:02
like sort of when I went to the roast
00:29:04
they were lasered on an coulter
00:29:06
>> and after the roast cuz she joined in
00:29:08
late someone fell out
00:29:10
>> and Martha Stewart was funny. Was that
00:29:12
one too?
00:29:13
>> Um one of them
00:29:14
>> I don't think she was on mine
00:29:15
>> cuz you don't expect her. Go ahead.
00:29:17
>> Yeah. What happened is someone fell out
00:29:19
like three days before and I think they
00:29:21
just said hey this will be a way to
00:29:22
promote your book. I don't think she
00:29:24
knew what she was getting into because
00:29:26
if you like her or not, it was a it was
00:29:28
really rough. They just And even after I
00:29:31
think Jeff Ross told me he said, "You're
00:29:32
lucky because
00:29:34
there was more jokes toward you cuz you
00:29:38
haven't done a roast yet." And then they
00:29:40
all a lot of them switched to her when
00:29:42
she joined like all the like, "Oh, let's
00:29:45
get her instead." And so I could not I
00:29:48
couldn't even handle
00:29:49
>> anything like I was like this. Do you
00:29:52
really think that? No. Did you really
00:29:54
think that? Because some of those stay
00:29:56
with you when you hear an angle of
00:29:58
something that like if you didn't know
00:30:02
something about yourself and then
00:30:04
everyone's doing that joke and you're
00:30:05
like, I wasn't even aware of that. Well,
00:30:07
that's the thing. They're holding up a
00:30:09
mirror and you're kind of like you don't
00:30:10
know what your contemporaries really
00:30:11
think about you and so they're going for
00:30:13
your weakest points and you're like, oh,
00:30:16
so this is uh like with Chevy, they were
00:30:18
brutal that way. It feels Roman
00:30:21
gladiatorial
00:30:22
>> gladiator. Yeah.
00:30:23
>> Yeah. And so the more CRUELTY IT'S LIKE
00:30:26
AND THE AUDIENCE IS GOING CRAZY. YOU
00:30:28
GOT, you know,
00:30:29
>> well the career of someone if they're
00:30:31
really rough, they're like, "You got
00:30:33
him.
00:30:33
>> You got him. You took him down, man. We
00:30:36
like to see our perform." But, you know,
00:30:37
Kevin Hart, he's been on on those shows
00:30:40
a lot, right? This is the first time he
00:30:42
was
00:30:42
>> like he's gets roasted a lot. I So, it
00:30:44
felt like he kind of it was going to be
00:30:47
80% short jokes, but they I like clever
00:30:50
joke. There are some real clever jokes,
00:30:51
though.
00:30:51
>> Yeah. Good. Good comedy. Good jokes is
00:30:53
always good. But is it still on Netflix
00:30:55
or they kind of moved it moved it off?
00:30:57
>> No, it's live. That's why it's the only
00:30:59
negative is is it like three hours
00:31:01
because they don't they used to edit
00:31:02
them. Now they don't. They're live. So
00:31:04
there's some fat in there. But um here's
00:31:06
a good nagging thing they do on TikTok.
00:31:09
Heather might have seen this one. I
00:31:10
liked it.
00:31:10
>> Take you guy. It's where you make
00:31:12
someone feel bad, but you you act like
00:31:14
you're not. So, the guy asked his
00:31:17
girlfriend, "Uh, hey, if you could
00:31:20
change anything about yourself besides
00:31:22
the obvious, what would you change?" And
00:31:24
she goes, "Oh,
00:31:27
wait, besides what?" And she goes,
00:31:29
"Well, just besides the obvious, what
00:31:30
what would you change if you could
00:31:31
change one thing?" And she goes,
00:31:33
"What? What's the obvious?" And she he
00:31:35
goes, "No, besides that, anything." And
00:31:37
he she goes,
00:31:39
>> "Wait, what what is
00:31:40
>> what's the obvious?"
00:31:41
>> Yeah. Is there something that everyone
00:31:42
thinks? He goes, "Yeah, yeah, but not
00:31:44
that." And he got her going for about a
00:31:47
good 40 seconds before she goes, "Hey,
00:31:48
[ __ ] you." Like, but it is kind of funny
00:31:51
cuz you say, "So, if someone said to me,
00:31:53
I would go,
00:31:55
there's a lot here that you could get
00:31:58
out of
00:31:58
>> Well, there's an old there's an old
00:32:00
saying that I think is very wise. Um,
00:32:04
peop other people's opinions of me are
00:32:07
none of my business." Well,
00:32:09
>> that's not bad.
00:32:10
>> I don't care. Think what you want.
00:32:13
>> Mhm.
00:32:14
>> I don't care.
00:32:15
>> I'm called the Teflon man.
00:32:17
>> No, I'm not.
00:32:18
>> You're rubber. I'm glue. What you do to
00:32:20
me, I do to you. Is that how that goes?
00:32:23
>> When people say uh I say move and they
00:32:27
say make me. I go, I don't make trash, I
00:32:29
burn it. And then everyone goes, "Oh,
00:32:32
snap."
00:32:34
I love the world you live in. The roast
00:32:36
and comedy store, all the comedians,
00:32:39
Bobby Lee's running around. Lee,
00:32:42
>> Shane Gillis coming out there.
00:32:43
>> The Netflix uh
00:32:46
>> brunch that you couldn't make the brunch
00:32:48
and you really did want to make the
00:32:49
brunch. I do.
00:32:50
>> I was going to make the brunch. I was
00:32:51
ready to go to the brunch. We did a
00:32:53
podcast at your house. I was going to
00:32:55
ride shotgun with you to the brunch, but
00:32:58
my back I don't get back stuff. Don't
00:33:01
you know?
00:33:01
>> How did that go, by the way?
00:33:03
>> The guy was extraordinary. Dr. Parker.
00:33:05
>> Oh, he was
00:33:06
>> Yeah. Extraordinary. He did stuff, you
00:33:08
know, he did stuff to me I'll never
00:33:10
forget. And then he also did some
00:33:12
chiropractic work.
00:33:13
>> That's a joke. That was a joke.
00:33:17
>> Everything you say is x-rated.
00:33:19
>> No, he he did stuff like you and it it
00:33:23
really works. You lay down on a table
00:33:26
and then he be he puts a belt around you
00:33:28
like you're strapped in and then the
00:33:29
table starts to separate like you're in
00:33:31
a torture chamber in 15th century Rome,
00:33:34
>> but just in a very gentle way. It opened
00:33:36
your back up.
00:33:38
>> Yeah. Yeah. And then it really opened
00:33:40
everything up. And then I, you know, he
00:33:43
uh
00:33:43
>> You still had a drive. Didn't you ever
00:33:45
fly?
00:33:46
>> Well, then I drove I flew after that six
00:33:49
hours. I flew to New York and I did a
00:33:52
corporate I did a gig the next night and
00:33:54
then I flew back and then I'm meeting
00:33:57
Matt uh at Departures.
00:34:01
I go like we we
00:34:03
>> okay
00:34:03
>> we planned it. So, I'm going through
00:34:06
American Airlines. I'm walking like a
00:34:08
mile just I I'm following people. I
00:34:10
guess I'll go left. I guess go there. I
00:34:12
don't know where I am. And then I see,
00:34:14
okay, I got to go up. So, I see an
00:34:16
escalator coming down. Oh, great.
00:34:17
There's escalators. Then I see the
00:34:19
escalator that was going to go up. And I
00:34:21
mean really up like 200 feet. It's
00:34:24
broken. Then I see a staircase. 200
00:34:27
stairs straight up. I'm kind of
00:34:29
adrenalized. I'm pretty strong and
00:34:31
pretty tough. But anyway, so I had a
00:34:34
really heavy suitcase and I just went up
00:34:36
and it felt really good cuz I was
00:34:38
sitting for 6 hours. Now it's a little
00:34:40
bit tweaked.
00:34:41
>> Mhm.
00:34:42
>> But it was very good.
00:34:43
>> It was very good.
00:34:44
>> Uh, okay. I I am glad you're feeling a
00:34:47
little better.
00:34:48
>> Oh, we got to do Buzzing Around.
00:34:49
>> Buzzing Around. Okay. I want to do And
00:34:53
this is this is this is live in our
00:34:55
thing. I want to do
00:34:58
>> I want to do um
00:34:59
>> Come on over. King Charles.
00:35:02
>> The dog.
00:35:03
>> King Char King Charles from Great
00:35:05
Britain. I mean, the dog.
00:35:07
>> There's a dog named King Charles that
00:35:10
bullies other dogs.
00:35:11
>> King Charles on a a life raft isolated
00:35:14
somewhere. And who else might be with
00:35:17
King Charles? Is what's Heather's hair
00:35:18
doing in the frame?
00:35:20
>> She's fixing. She's finding
00:35:22
>> She's a prowl girl.
00:35:24
All right.
00:35:25
>> Mhm.
00:35:26
>> I like it.
00:35:27
>> You can keep going. Oh, I have to
00:35:28
introduce it. That's right. So, you're
00:35:30
going to do King Charles and who else?
00:35:32
>> Well, who would be very not You wouldn't
00:35:34
expect with King Charles.
00:35:36
Um, Arnold. Arnold and King Charles.
00:35:41
>> It's time for buzzing around. Dana,
00:35:43
sponsored by Five Our Energy.
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Amazon today. Now you're want King
00:36:00
Charles. You want two others?
00:36:02
>> Yeah, I wanted King Charles because I
00:36:03
saw him do the address to Congress. I
00:36:05
just like doing him now. This is such an
00:36:08
intense accent.
00:36:09
>> Okay.
00:36:10
>> On a life raft.
00:36:12
>> On a life raft with um let's say the
00:36:15
receptionist at your doctor
00:36:17
>> and
00:36:20
>> Oh no, I'm going to have to call the
00:36:23
doctor.
00:36:24
>> That's right. She's going to say a lot
00:36:25
of that.
00:36:26
>> Okay. The reception the receptionist
00:36:28
character. King Charles.
00:36:30
>> Tyson's been my favorite.
00:36:32
>> Oh, and Tyson.
00:36:34
>> Oh, yeah. Okay. Tyson, the receptionist
00:36:38
and King Charles on a life raft.
00:36:40
>> Yeah. Here we go.
00:36:42
>> Buzzing around. Here we go. Take one.
00:36:44
Well, you know, so strange that here we
00:36:48
find ourselves in the middle of the
00:36:50
ocean with no way around, no barrel, and
00:36:53
no way to retrieve ourselves in land.
00:36:56
Right, receptionist lady.
00:36:58
>> Oh, we're in the middle of the ocean.
00:37:03
I'm going to have to call the doctor.
00:37:06
>> Maybe you could call the doctor. Mark
00:37:09
Mike Tyson.
00:37:12
I you know I am not calling the doctor.
00:37:14
You know what are you going to do about
00:37:15
it? What do you mean? I'm not going to
00:37:19
call the doctor. What are you going to
00:37:20
do?
00:37:20
>> Oh, I like it. I like this.
00:37:21
>> What are you going to do about it? What
00:37:22
are you going to do about it?
00:37:23
>> Oh, he wants to fight her.
00:37:25
>> Hold on. Hold on. Uh, Mr. Michael Tyson,
00:37:29
I love your boxing matches. And of all
00:37:31
the boxers in history, you're one of the
00:37:33
best. I mean the the predecessors before
00:37:36
you Jack Dempsey and others and their
00:37:39
their predecessors
00:37:41
>> Jake Sullivan
00:37:43
I don't know what the I don't know what
00:37:44
you're talking about. What are you
00:37:45
talking about the pred what the
00:37:47
predecessors?
00:37:49
I I I didn't go I didn't go I I I I got
00:37:52
a third grade education. What what are
00:37:54
you talking about? I I I don't know
00:37:56
about the predecessors, but your
00:37:58
predecessors. Perhaps we could throw you
00:38:00
in the ocean with some kind of buoy or
00:38:03
rope around you and you could swim to
00:38:05
the shore. We just strengthen your
00:38:07
muscles. Yeah, I'm not going to jump out
00:38:09
of the raft in the middle of the
00:38:11
Pacific. You're not jumping out of the
00:38:13
raft. You one of Well, no, he's not
00:38:16
jumping out of the raft.
00:38:17
>> Oh, yeah. I got
00:38:18
>> Yeah. What are you gonna do about it?
00:38:20
>> You got to call one of my penises.
00:38:23
I don't mean we bring our relationship
00:38:26
to fisticuffs. Yeah, but
00:38:28
>> fist of cuffs.
00:38:28
>> But what you what are you going to do
00:38:30
about it? I'm not going to say to you,
00:38:31
put up your dukes like the physicists
00:38:34
did.
00:38:34
>> Dukes.
00:38:35
>> What are you going to do about it?
00:38:36
That's all I got to know is what are you
00:38:37
going to do about it? What are you going
00:38:38
to do about it? What are you going to
00:38:40
do? What are you going to do about it?
00:38:41
What are you going to do about it? The
00:38:43
more you say that, the more I want to
00:38:45
punch you in your nose.
00:38:46
>> Now he's baiting him into a fight.
00:38:48
>> Yeah, go ahead. Punch me in my nose.
00:38:50
What do you think you're going to do
00:38:51
about it? What? What are you going to do
00:38:52
about it? Oh, you're on a tape loop. You
00:38:56
must be dehydrated. I'm going to call
00:38:58
the doctor.
00:38:59
>> That's right.
00:39:00
>> Yes. Call the doctor, Jollio. And
00:39:03
remember, ALWAYS IN THE LIFE RAFT WITH
00:39:05
MIKE TYSON. There's nothing he's going
00:39:08
to do that you say. And he's going to
00:39:10
always say you like his predecessors.
00:39:12
Yeah. What are you going to do about it?
00:39:14
I mean, what are you going to do about
00:39:15
it?
00:39:15
>> Where's the piggy at the end?
00:39:17
>> What are you going to do about it? What
00:39:18
are you going to do? Hey, I I think
00:39:20
we'll got something to eat. Look at
00:39:22
this. Look at this. Just jumped into the
00:39:24
raft.
00:39:26
>> Jump in.
00:39:27
>> Oh, good. Jolly good. I love pork just
00:39:30
like my predecessors.
00:39:32
>> Oh, man.
00:39:33
>> And scene.
00:39:34
>> Thank you. That was a good buzzing
00:39:37
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00:40:03
>> Oh, you got him right there. Okay.
00:40:04
>> Got a parrot.
00:40:07
>> Okay, let's do a couple stories because
00:40:09
we're already running late.
00:40:10
>> Yeah. God, we're always running late.
00:40:11
>> That was a good one.
00:40:12
>> I liked it. I liked it. Thanks for the
00:40:14
assists, uh, Heather with the
00:40:16
receptionist character. Yeah, it was
00:40:17
always funny.
00:40:18
>> And Tyson, thank you.
00:40:19
>> I like that Tyson if he got dehydrated
00:40:21
or there was a fight that they would
00:40:23
have to call the doctor.
00:40:25
>> What are you going to do about it? Okay,
00:40:28
>> this is um
00:40:30
>> a baseball one. I don't know what it is.
00:40:35
>> Oh no, it's bull bull fighting.
00:40:37
>> Holy [ __ ]
00:40:38
>> This is a new thing they do. Yeah.
00:40:40
>> Wow. It finally brings some fun back to
00:40:43
bull fighting cuz it is they always wear
00:40:46
like you can see the blood when they get
00:40:48
gorged.
00:40:49
>> So they don't have a cape or anything.
00:40:50
They're just gymnast now.
00:40:52
>> Dude,
00:40:53
>> there's no deception.
00:40:55
>> Maryl Retin.
00:40:57
>> Wow, look at how cool that is. I know
00:41:00
you're going to say it's AI.
00:41:02
>> You know what? I'm I think it could be
00:41:05
AI.
00:41:06
>> It could be, but they said
00:41:07
>> but I'm not I'm not sure. This is
00:41:11
Listen, they need this to bring back
00:41:13
bull fighting. It's getting a little
00:41:14
stale.
00:41:15
>> What's the vertical? What's the
00:41:16
vertical? Let's see. Okay.
00:41:19
>> I wouldn't I don't know if I would stand
00:41:20
there and do a standing back. So, maybe
00:41:22
it's AI.
00:41:23
>> I mean, I would go in a bull ring and
00:41:25
I'd tussle with it. I'd grab its horns
00:41:26
and try to wrestle it to the ground, but
00:41:28
I don't know if I'd try to do a backflip
00:41:30
over its head. Well, first of all, is it
00:41:32
AI? 5 seconds.
00:41:35
>> I don't know because everything's AI. So
00:41:37
really, you know, this is going to I'm
00:41:39
saying this is going to get all the way
00:41:40
till court where you say we have a video
00:41:42
of you committing a crime and you just
00:41:43
say it could be AI and then you walk
00:41:45
free.
00:41:46
>> Yeah. And you just go, you know, judge,
00:41:48
I' I've enjoyed my time here. I like all
00:41:51
the evidence stuff. Pretty cool. We had
00:41:53
lunch breaks. I enjoyed it a lot. I was
00:41:55
just going to tell you, you go [ __ ]
00:41:56
yourself because guess what? I got two
00:41:58
little letters for you that allow me to
00:42:00
walk out right now and ain't a freaking
00:42:02
thing you can do about. One is a
00:42:05
and one is I. So long.
00:42:08
>> You say, "Judge, is that AI or not?" You
00:42:10
got 5 seconds. Judge, oh,
00:42:14
>> I do that a lot with anyone. Any
00:42:16
question, you have five seconds. What's
00:42:17
your favorite movie? You have five
00:42:18
seconds.
00:42:19
>> The best is you make it more stressful.
00:42:21
You go, "What's your favorite movie?"
00:42:22
You have five seconds. Five, four,
00:42:23
three. They can't think. Okay.
00:42:26
>> He's like, you know, I'm not going to
00:42:28
hang out with you anymore because you
00:42:29
make me nervous all the time. You know,
00:42:31
you're not going to hang out with me.
00:42:32
Yeah. What are you going to do about it?
00:42:33
I mean, what are you going to do about
00:42:34
it? Just buy a pig?
00:42:36
>> Oh my god, this is a combo platter.
00:42:39
>> I know. I'm I'm operating on all comedic
00:42:42
cylinders. Um, part of me thinks it's
00:42:44
real because you see a lot of athletic
00:42:48
young people doing things like that.
00:42:52
>> I agree.
00:42:53
>> Um,
00:42:53
>> it could be real because they should be
00:42:54
doing that. But I don't like when they
00:42:56
stab them, so they should just dance
00:42:58
around.
00:42:58
>> Oh, the whole and then they stab him 100
00:42:59
times and it dies slowly. I I don't
00:43:01
know. Hemingway out.
00:43:03
>> Yeah, but Ernest Hemingway loved it.
00:43:05
What are you going to do about that?
00:43:07
>> Ernest Hemingway. Why does Mike Tyson
00:43:09
know anything about Ernest Hem?
00:43:11
>> Mike Tyson is very bright. He say he's
00:43:15
very wise. All the stuff he says.
00:43:18
Anyway,
00:43:18
>> next story. What's got
00:43:20
>> California Mayor Ellen Wang admits to
00:43:24
being Oh, yeah. Chinese agent. What the
00:43:26
freak?
00:43:27
>> Yeah. Did you hear this story
00:43:28
>> of Arcadia? That's in Los Angeles
00:43:31
County. just north and east of downtown
00:43:33
LA. Now facing federal charges
00:43:37
of acting as an agent of China.
00:43:41
>> Eileen Wang is set to appear in court
00:43:43
this afternoon, expected to plead guilty
00:43:46
in the coming days to one felony count
00:43:48
of acting as an illegal agent.
00:43:50
>> Wang faces a potential sentence of up to
00:43:52
10 years in prison. The charges stem
00:43:55
stem from a website that she ran. No,
00:43:59
the website was called communism from
00:44:02
China is the best.
00:44:03
>> Yeah, the website was called
00:44:05
>> It gave it away.
00:44:06
>> Isn't China great? Why is USA sucks so
00:44:09
bad?
00:44:10
>> Your system's not as good as ours.
00:44:13
>> Communist China.com.
00:44:16
>> Communism is sort of inching in any way,
00:44:18
but I I I I can't believe they caught
00:44:20
her and she said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I
00:44:22
did."
00:44:22
>> Well, this dubtales with something I
00:44:24
accidentally saw. You ready for it?
00:44:27
>> Yeah. Go ahead. So, Michael Pompei
00:44:29
was a former in Trump's administration,
00:44:32
whatever. He's secretary of state,
00:44:34
whatever. He's a big global Pompe. Yeah,
00:44:36
I've heard of him.
00:44:36
>> Yeah, Michael Pompei, I think.
00:44:38
>> And um he just said that China,
00:44:42
Communist China, is just all over our
00:44:43
society, just infiltrating everywhere.
00:44:45
So, I'm watching him say this. They're
00:44:47
in our schools, they're in our
00:44:49
businesses, they're in our politics.
00:44:50
They're just like infiltrating. I
00:44:52
thought I thought you're exaggerating.
00:44:55
Reach for the clicker. That's [ __ ]
00:44:58
And then this story pops up. Whoa, whoa,
00:45:00
whoa. What?
00:45:02
>> Well, also buying a lot of land near
00:45:03
army bases. I would just say let's make
00:45:06
it quid proquo. Can we go buy land in
00:45:08
China? Can we do everything that No. So
00:45:11
they But I think we get taken advantage
00:45:12
of in those situations.
00:45:13
>> I think you want to take over a country
00:45:14
just buy all its farmland. Yeah.
00:45:17
>> And and just go um you know with with
00:45:19
animals on it.
00:45:23
>> Did your animal have a baby? What did we
00:45:24
talk about last time? The baby's coming
00:45:26
in July. Just rest
00:45:28
>> live stream. Live stream.
00:45:30
>> But McGro says hungry. We I was feeding
00:45:33
it last night. Oats.
00:45:37
>> Holland oats. I used to joke. I go
00:45:39
hollow. Remember when they broke up?
00:45:42
Yeah. Oats had a chance on his own,
00:45:43
didn't he? Tonight. Tonight oats. One
00:45:47
night only. Oats. One show
00:45:50
>> with his opening act. Sewing his. Sewing
00:45:53
his is the opener. and Oats is the
00:45:56
headliner. Pretty pretty good joke.
00:45:58
>> Not bad. All right, next one. Let's try
00:46:00
it.
00:46:00
>> Let's see this. Okay. Um, yeah.
00:46:05
Oh, watch this guy attack this bad guy
00:46:07
right here. You ready?
00:46:14
>> Little jujitsu for you, Dana.
00:46:16
>> Wow. No, that's amazing. He attacks an
00:46:18
armed security guard. He jumps on him
00:46:20
with a kind of Bruce Lee move and gets
00:46:22
his head in. I've seen that move before.
00:46:25
>> Don't see it. Yeah, I've seen it before
00:46:27
with
00:46:27
>> it's that's like perfectly done.
00:46:29
>> Yeah, that was Lauren and Marcy one
00:46:31
angry night. You know,
00:46:36
>> that's a tricky one because I the reason
00:46:38
I don't do that move like at the post
00:46:40
office if someone bumps me is that
00:46:42
>> jump up and get them in a leg lock.
00:46:44
>> It's a hard one to get right. I get that
00:46:46
wrong a lot of the time.
00:46:47
>> Yeah, I've heard.
00:46:48
>> Okay, that's all. All right, one more
00:46:50
and then we'll get get I got You got to
00:46:52
go. You got you got to get in your mud
00:46:53
bath. Heather's just heating.
00:46:55
>> I gota get a mud bath.
00:46:59
>> Oh, it's an aquarium
00:47:01
>> and this guy's being an [ __ ] and
00:47:03
lighting a cigarette.
00:47:04
>> Okay,
00:47:06
>> they're saying don't put it out
00:47:10
>> and he throws it in the water.
00:47:13
>> Oh, the the dolphin.
00:47:16
>> The beluga whale. The blue whale.
00:47:20
I can't believe what I just saw. So the
00:47:22
blue whale senses the pressure, doesn't
00:47:24
want knows there's no smoking and spews
00:47:26
like 10 gallon on the guy's head with a
00:47:28
cigarette.
00:47:29
>> Did I Did I get that right? Your your
00:47:31
your video, not mine.
00:47:33
>> It could be AI, but if it was AI, he
00:47:35
would have nailed the cigarette a little
00:47:36
harder.
00:47:39
>> Right. Could have been AI.
00:47:40
>> If it was AI, he would have stood up and
00:47:42
walked over the whale.
00:47:45
>> Um, now I'm thinking it's AI.
00:47:48
>> I know what what what isn't. It doesn't
00:47:50
matter. We we have our chuckle either
00:47:51
way.
00:47:52
>> Where does it go? What what what's going
00:47:54
on?
00:47:54
>> What does it matter? Who cares? The
00:47:56
world is spinning out of control.
00:47:58
>> Just just just be happy.
00:47:59
>> What happened to Tulsi Gabbard? Why did
00:48:01
she get raided? That scared me. Isn't
00:48:03
she I don't know what's going on.
00:48:04
>> Did she get raided? Isn't she still in
00:48:06
Trump's administration?
00:48:07
>> They raided her office and they're like,
00:48:08
"Wait, aren't you the raider? Why are
00:48:10
you getting raid dead?"
00:48:12
>> I don't know.
00:48:13
>> When in doubt, raid. That's what
00:48:16
>> Hey guys, let's h up. We haven't raided
00:48:18
in a while. Maybe she knows something
00:48:20
because all these scientists that are
00:48:22
dropping like flies are like they all
00:48:25
know something and they're like, "Oh,
00:48:26
they just put two in the back of their
00:48:28
own head and suicide."
00:48:29
>> Going around a lot that any of these
00:48:31
scientists related to UFOs. Yeah. Yeah.
00:48:35
I had the haunt virus. Yeah.
00:48:37
>> Are you okay?
00:48:38
>> I was just had a nightmare and I
00:48:40
>> Where'd you get it from [ __ ] Mickey
00:48:41
Mouse?
00:48:41
>> I had a haunting virus. Did I get it
00:48:44
from Mickey Roor? What?
00:48:45
>> I got it from Ratatouille. That little
00:48:47
that guy's the horniest animal out
00:48:49
there. He's cute and everything, but
00:48:50
he's riddled with diseases.
00:48:53
>> They wanted me to do that lead character
00:48:54
and I turned him down. I said,
00:48:55
>> "Ratoule D."
00:48:56
>> Yeah. I said, "A French rat. Not gonna
00:48:58
happen." Finally, Pixar makes a bomb.
00:49:00
But then they rewrote it and put um some
00:49:04
Pat who's got a great voice. I, you
00:49:07
know, I have a boring voice as myself.
00:49:10
>> Here's you as Ratatouille. Hey man, I
00:49:11
got to go make some food.
00:49:14
Here here's you starting ratati like you
00:49:17
got to get a little sandwich
00:49:20
and I'm like
00:49:23
cut right I got to make some food
00:49:26
get the pots and pans clean
00:49:29
get the mixer
00:49:35
and the water dripping.
00:49:40
I did this character which I only did a
00:49:42
couple times at open mics called sound
00:49:44
effective which I've told you and it was
00:49:46
just you could do it better than me but
00:49:48
it's just the just a guy he's that's all
00:49:51
he does ladies and gentlemen sound
00:49:53
effecty you know it's like so I'm
00:49:54
walking across wet grass
00:49:58
I open my car door it's the same sound
00:50:02
I start my car
00:50:04
>> shitty sound effecty
00:50:06
>> I roast the mirror
00:50:08
>> that's not
00:50:11
I don't I just
00:50:13
>> I clean my teeth.
00:50:16
>> I pick up a cup.
00:50:18
>> All right, that's the show.
00:50:19
>> Take I take a sip.
00:50:23
>> All right, this has been the show. We
00:50:25
ran too long again.
00:50:26
>> This has been the show.
00:50:27
>> People, we gave you way more than you
00:50:28
paid for again.
00:50:30
>> Mhm. Yeah.
00:50:31
>> And uh that's it. Okay. Thanks
00:50:33
everybody. We'll join us. We'll
00:50:35
>> see you next time. See you next time on
00:50:38
Fly on the Wall.
00:50:43
Is that a geese? I think so.
00:50:52
Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast,
00:50:53
which you are, be sure to click follow
00:50:56
on your favorite podcast app. Give us a
00:50:58
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00:51:00
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a friend. If you're watching this
00:51:04
episode on YouTube, please subscribe.
00:51:06
We're on video now.
00:51:08
>> Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey,
00:51:10
an executive produced by Danny Carvey
00:51:12
and David Spade, Heather Santoro and
00:51:14
Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and
00:51:17
Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior
00:51:19
producer is Greg Holtzman. And the show
00:51:21
is produced and edited by Phil Sweet
00:51:24
Tech. Booking by Cultivated
00:51:26
Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick
00:51:28
Fogerty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa
00:51:33
Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly,
00:51:37
Colin Gainner, Shan Cherry, Kurt
00:51:39
Kourtney, and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out
00:51:42
with us any questions to be asked and
00:51:44
answered on the show. You can email us
00:51:46
at fly onthewallsey.com.
00:51:49
That's audacy.com.
