00:00:00
hey David how's it going what day of the week is it why don't you get to bed bed hair
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you know what I was saying the other day is there's a downside to covet and no one thinks that and then I know remember
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I said who is the guy who said you know what Mrs Cobra has a downside Dana and I
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are doing this because we uh I could pull them out like pulling teeth to go to dinner which has to be within a
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quarter mile of his house and then we would talk and laugh we told SNL stories and we have dinner with Neil and other
00:00:29
guys in the show we thought there's so many people that watch us now let's try it let's just talk about it and bring in all the cast members or music or hosts
00:00:36
and [ __ ] yep we could have called this inside baseball because it is everyone has a variation on a theme so
00:00:44
far of their experience never forgetting it but yeah I was pretty demanding with
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restaurants it is a quarter mile away but one time you enticed me to Beverly Hills and we sat near the kitchen and
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had to take pictures for a half hour oh yeah yeah well that can happen which again and this is not complaining but the place we go is pretty mellow I
00:01:10
like it dark and quiet I like when the bus Boy comes by you know a lot of people will help you at their level like
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he comes by goes Hey Joe Dirt I go all right and he goes hey I'm gonna give you some extra bread I'm like all right
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because that's nice of him at his level that's how he's helping hey man I don't mind that because I was a busboy for
00:01:26
three years at the Holiday Inn we called ourselves table maintenance Personnel managers yeah I I was uh not a great
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busboy they always said they had a big chart in the back lift with your legs I'm like I've never lifted my legs [ __ ] once everything is across the
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table and I have to lean over and pop my spine so you were a busboy too yeah guy
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I tried to be waiter and he goes you don't got this stuff I go what stuff this is harder it took me six months I
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was a dishwasher how was the dishwasher I was that that was the Hobart 3000 I was just bleeding we had to come sucker
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8 000. I would eat the food uh oh I ate I ate right off time always in the back every I would watch people and go don't finish that [ __ ] steak dude because I'm gonna eat it no they were just thousands of plates and then the guy
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came back every 20 minutes my first shift used you want to still do it yeah I'm not gonna quit because everyone
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would quit you know how I got fired is because the guy goes don't be away you're not a waiter and they don't like
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when you talk to them I go but I'm like you know I'm sort of an upbeat guy they go I don't give a [ __ ] you're the busboy
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so on on a Father's Day it was packed and we were selling shark that was a special this is in Arizona which is so
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gross and so I walk by the table and someone goes how's the shark I go I got a mono I don't need them they don't need
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me can I talk to you I go [ __ ] so the manager goes what'd I just say he goes what are you doing over there I go I
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don't know killing and he goes no you're not I go dude I'm getting Applause break hey man I waited on Rich Little everyone
00:02:53
back says oh dude Jimmy Stewart I waited on Richard Pryor I waited on Carlin I brought him a bowl of oatmeal and he
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goes oatmeal drop the O and you have at meal I said give it a rest there's no blue food I gave I gave Richard Pryor a Denver omelette and I came back to get the play and goes we
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haven't made this omelet can suck my dick and I never knew if it was a compliment or like but I think he loved
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it that sounds nice well uh Chris Rock is a good buddy of both of ours I I was pretty tight with him he's such a nice
00:03:23
cool dude he was in your team yeah your era and uh but to me always seemed just that sounds kind of corny like an old soul I I just don't see Chris like in high school skipping around or something
00:03:35
no he they had this wisdom about him and he has this skill set of distilling things to the essence yeah very quickly if you're around him and he gave me an incredible compliment once because I was
00:03:48
at 93 I was I said well I guess I'm going to leave the show and he goes leave the show they're gonna have to get
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like Five Guys to replace you yeah it's such a sweet thing but that was that was my experience he's a smart guy he's very
00:04:01
uh he's very nice down deep he's he's not like a cool super yeah any um I think he's an honest guy and we
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talked to him he's very honest he's like you know when he's off SNL and they asked about Lauren Michaels and he says
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the man gave me a job yeah you know there was never any complaining no bitterness nothing just yeah he's still one of my tight buddies so let's uh let's hear let's see what he has to say
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[Music] foreign Rock are you in that sweet pad I saw that was near where we ate yeah I'm in
00:04:37
that sweet pair I told you I'm when I go on tour you can borrow it you can help you stay I don't care Rock said I could
00:04:44
stay there hang on Dana I wet the bed and so I said I shouldn't stay at his house because I feel embarrassed you
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still wet the bed I was a bad weather there's no way to get out of a wet bed with any dignity
00:04:56
what happened dear but anyway that's we'll get to the childhood stuff in a minute but Chris on your a day off for
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you not a family baby day but a Chris day like it's gonna be totally off no emails you're gonna have fun does that
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great Chris Day include having to go on a podcast yeah because you know you're you're performing I love the lady but I really love space I know yeah so you had to do
00:05:25
it Rock and I came in together yeah thank you rock up you know almost anything for Dana but Amy no but you
00:05:32
guys were the junior varsity who out did the varsity but we had a junior varsity team consisting of Farley you
00:05:40
Sandler Schneider and and David I mean it was an incredible junior varsity team that was being trained to take over when we left in a
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way right no it was uh yeah it's amazing that yeah barley liked Kobe Bryant came
00:05:58
off the bench people forget yeah oh yeah we do a whole show hey how about this guy Farley it was just like I don't even know why they hired us because normally they bring in the new people
00:06:11
you know okay you know yeah start not doing great you guys were in rare form I mean that was you know that was the beginning of a 18 20 person cast when I came in it
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was like basically four feature players or there were six total and that was the beginning and now there's like 21. so it
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never went back to just five people being the cast right after that no I don't think yeah I went the other night and I I couldn't believe how long the
00:06:44
the credit was yeah Don card was like on SNL it's like how many people are in this
00:06:58
cast we started it was just so people know it I I came on the end four shows of the previous season so Rob Schneider and I got hired to write for four episodes on those four
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Dice Clay was always we had a couple good ones you know Alec Baldwin's first show and then when the summer came
00:07:20
we we got picked up and then that's when Rock and Farley came right Rock were you a full cast or you feature player me and yeah me and Farley got brought on together we were
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the new guys that year yeah so we were awesome new together yeah so we got close offices and we uh
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Rock who people don't know because he's tough on TV so am I I've come off like a
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hard ass athlete but rock is a nice person and I was sort of out of my element from Arizona and we gravitated just because we were kind of in over our heads like everyone is there I guess
00:07:58
when they say yeah I mean well you know they always had that thing it was the stand-ups and The Improv
00:08:04
deaths yeah yeah and the Improv guys were more technically prepared for the show but the stand-up guys because we write
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our own material and we live and die by the crowd we were more I thought mentally prepared for the show like
00:08:22
because the show yeah the show is getting killed yeah like we could you know I mean like the stand-ups I thought we're listening to the politics of who
00:08:34
likes who and who's close with Downey and who's close with Lauren that's like improv guys because they're thinking they're they are in a group think and stand up like Sandler
00:08:46
to come from writing on the show and this by force of nature make himself you know the biggest cast member a huge only a stand-up who could do some crazy
00:08:59
[ __ ] like that yeah I think I got on it I caught on a Sandler we always thought he's funny
00:09:04
but Chris Dana you we all know great comedians that never pop or never make it I'm like I watch a guy go this guy's
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better than me and I probably make more you know I mean they're just right they don't get discovered and when you see Sandler I think it was somewhere around
00:09:17
crazy spoonhead where I'm like this [ __ ] guy does not run out of ideas he does not stop and he just [ __ ] crushes it's it's every week it was a new one I'm like God damn this guy's got
00:09:29
it he would yeah he would crawl around on all fours down the hallway I'd be in my office and I'd hear a little knock i ball and he would come in so gently and so quietly but he wanted me to introduce
00:09:42
Opperman because he'd done it once and they didn't what you know so that I from updates somehow I introduced it and it was separate and he had a little stage and that was the beginning but when I
00:09:54
first saw Sandler his likability and charm let's just talk about him for a sec he'll hate it hey just sitting in a
00:10:01
chair and leaning back hey it was like like whoa you know and the the girls liked him let's face it
00:10:08
and uh then he's Adam Sandler but I was the original Pete Davidson he was yeah Pete Davidson great comic but I am fascinated by who he has sex with I mean
00:10:22
that's a big part of my life following that thing I'm at the show I guess I can say this without getting whatever let's get let's go and uh so you know I'm at
00:10:33
the Kim show by the way Kim was incredibly funny right yeah great and I'm just sitting backstage I was like who's it gonna be it's like it's not me
00:10:44
it's not me I'm like she probably met Blake Griffin already it's like you know maybe Pete this might be it really it's sort of pushed to the front because
00:10:55
Colin Jose is married it just sort of yeah Collins married I was like you'd be good though no I'm more of a Chloe guy a Marvel Chloe guy oh well the language starts
00:11:07
like this they're they're just friends plus I'm friends with Tanya that would have been true oh yeah that would have been too weird but they they said they
00:11:15
always say they're just friends then they say they enjoy each other's company they're hanging out you know it you see
00:11:21
the trajectory here at first I thought oh lovely people by the way it's very charismatic as a person I really see why women would like Pete
00:11:32
he's funny he's cool he's got a great voice he's really tall too it's like it's like
00:11:39
how many how many tall guys most things yeah most things Rock I have a question about when you did your first when your first you have like questions prepared did you guys actually yeah
00:11:52
really care about you my goal was for you not to be bored like so you got an SNL and then bring the pain really blew
00:11:59
up right oh my God you know what I mean so I have questions for you that I'm actually curious like as if we're
00:12:04
hanging out yeah but if you want us to ask about anything let us know answer anything I'm curious about if Rock felt if it was not fair but I I did one weekend update
00:12:19
in my first four shows and it scared the [ __ ] out of me we all weren't really actors we hadn't done much so Rock's
00:12:25
first show they were so salivating over Rock to come in and do all these sketches they couldn't
00:12:31
do that I remember I think they overloaded you with someone a Confederate sketch especially yes
00:12:41
SNL hadn't had a black cast member like nine years most people think I'm the black guy after Eddie I'm actually the black guy after Damon Wayans and the Living Color was killing it at
00:12:57
this point and there was like a bunch of whatever SNL so white articles or whatever and
00:13:03
then I got hired so yeah there was like this immediate thing where like you're gonna do some Eddie Murphy stuff right like I don't do any Impressions they brush off all the
00:13:15
old a lot a lot of pressure you know the Eddie Murphy idiot Impressions I don't do any voices you know what I mean like
00:13:23
I do what I do I mean you know but uh so yeah I guess there was pressure you have to do act and you have to look at cute cards you have and you know just being in one sketch you're terrified all
00:13:33
week or I was and you have to inch your way in and you were like hosting that first
00:13:38
time because I remember you were in a lot of sketches they're pulling you every which way you have a million costume changes and the scariest one was
00:13:44
I was a soldier and the confederate soldier I don't know what the sketch was you were the first black guy
00:13:50
Franken wrote it Franken he was [ __ ] roughing no Mom should have to work with Franken the first year on the show never
00:13:57
that's what I was getting at is he's so tough now what are you doing it's like okay you've been on two years now you can work with outbreak
00:14:08
he's an amazing guy but you know he's not a little intimidating he because he doesn't he's very blunt oh that wasn't very funny you know you have to get used to that he's the white Lou gossip Junior
00:14:21
from officer what you gonna do mayonnaise was it that everybody because I remember that SketchUp he's
00:14:32
the Jewish Rock but was it weird because if I didn't really think about it that way but In Living Color is is doing
00:14:39
great you must feel like you're almost stuck on SNL because it's like [ __ ] I should be on I did I I mean I loved it and I loved you guys but it was a weird you know I'm sure Jackie Robinson used
00:14:52
to like go to Harlem after the [ __ ] games with with the Dodgers and [ __ ] it's like right shit's happening Uptown why am I here with uh Pee Wee Reese but
00:15:04
Peewee good reference when you win on In Living Color you finally went on there did you were you uh was it fun or was it
00:15:11
not fun at that point no but I finally got to the Wayne's wings I was like I didn't know that I
00:15:17
don't even know what the hell I was on I was on but it's weird I got to work with Jim Carrey and Jamie Foxx was there uh
00:15:24
you know all of that SNL In Living Color it was just for me to make friends and to kind of learn about writing and writing on a deadline all of that was just training and you know I was supposed to do
00:15:38
stand-ups thank God it's a humbling boot camp that just reminds you that everyone got there because they were good and then you're immediately [ __ ] on and you're amazing
00:15:49
it's like a wake-up call like oh [ __ ] I'm not the first guy to like maybe you know the show wasn't perfect
00:15:56
for me but you know look Julia Louise Dreyfus Stiller you know oh yeah it's like a lot of people that kind of you know Jim Carrey I auditioned with Jim
00:16:07
Carrey you know I mean and I thought well they got to pick Jim Carrey guys insane but do they killed on In Living
00:16:14
Color yeah I auditioned the night auditioned I'm not me and Sam were audition we're at the Chicago Improv and uh Dana ghoul was so good no wow I
00:16:27
left the audition yeah I I like I'm like okay this is over this guy smart funny smart funny like yep
00:16:41
whatever like this guy's so much better than me I am out of my league and I left
00:16:48
and later that night Lauren you know whatever found out what hotel I was in and told me to come downstairs and
00:16:54
basically told me I had to show I didn't even like that's how good Dana ghoul was like let me get the [ __ ] out of here
00:17:00
because I'm wasting my time I think with Lauren it's it's it's um it's like almost a sports analogy or
00:17:07
something he's looking at people can play well together a little bit you know well I actually I asked him that
00:17:12
in reference to day to go and it is no not the victims have a great career writing on The Simpsons it's [ __ ]
00:17:19
great great special of the whole thing Lauren said the thing yeah I said what did you see in us because I was like what are you seeing me in Salem because we both were like what the [ __ ] are we doing here
00:17:30
and he said well you guys had original thought yeah that's a big thing is writing they always agree I don't think that we both had like a joke somewhere
00:17:43
that he hadn't heard before and that's why he hired us what would be like at that time didn't Sandlers have the thing about who's guarding will chamberlaining things were the greatest
00:17:56
yeah this for people for people about comedy that should be an nft explain that it was so original and so funny but I want to know what your signature thing
00:18:09
you might have had or your go-to your goat your most Surefire bit you know I had a bit about going to an abortion rally to meet women that I knew were [ __ ]
00:18:22
I remember that that was pretty radical that was right in 1989 19. it's like like whoa well Rock came came with more hype than Sandler I think I think Rock
00:18:37
when I got there everyone was telling me and I also heard a lot of hype about Farley and then we knew Sandler from the
00:18:43
valley so me Schneider and maybe Dennis maybe Dana were helping and saying Sandler's funny he came soon after but
00:18:51
it was weird like first you know you can tell if people had game and sometimes you can just tell around the office you can tell it read through but I I definitely was looking around that place
00:19:02
going everyone's great it's on I mean when you go down to yeah talk about original thoughts every Jack Handy sketch Ivan read through going you're [ __ ] [ __ ] me I should quit
00:19:15
the business I don't even know what I'm doing he would hit he would the the weirdest ideas yeah I remember Mike
00:19:22
Myers this [ __ ] that didn't get on I still remember to this day I'm like the [ __ ] I've mentioned what people ask me
00:19:30
about oh the greatest cast whatever and I mentioned specifically 90 to 93 because of every there were too many
00:19:36
cylinders firing and again you'd have a toots as the cat or Myers do sprockets you do Nat X David do this Sandler what
00:19:44
you guys were coming up and getting the fan following I think those three years is like sometimes I'd sit back and go man that show kicked ass because they
00:19:51
got the overlap they got you guys and we're coming up and it's passing and then you guys all leave and then it's
00:19:56
just us but yeah we had Phil we had Jan we had you know it's just like that was a wild time yeah it was an insane
00:20:04
I learned I learned more there than I had learned you know any other time in my life and good people you know Rock
00:20:12
you're friends with Kanye is he crazy guy you know I I do say eccentric because Kanye I think is so smart like in maybe that Elon Musk way or something because he's so good at
00:20:25
what he does yeah I mean it might not fit in what kind of always go is he worth it and I was like so far as a friend or just as as a yes this is
00:20:39
an artist splits you through a lot but you're like okay that record's pretty great hey I I loved I love these
00:20:46
sneakers you know what I mean is this true and and I I would I love that if it is true but I think he had a problem at
00:20:53
SNL uh with a sketch or something a music thing obviously and what technical issues he said apparently he said you don't understand I'm Stanley Kubrick
00:21:06
so I thought to me Stanley Kubrick is like you know yeah I mean compared sounds about right he is fairly cool but
00:21:12
to reference to reference I'm Stanley Kubrick in the world rap yeah yeah that's an ntf I'm I'm Stanley Kubrick compared to Young MC yes he is [ __ ]
00:21:23
Stanley well you know my kids turned me on to hip-hop and rap now I love it but it
00:21:30
took me a while but but now it's gone to porn rap which is very interesting It's gotta go you gotta meet the two they gotta meet at something I did it it was inevitable yeah it made total sense
00:21:44
when when it happened but uh cardi B was on the Super Bowl commercial Mike and I did couldn't have been sweeter and just
00:21:50
gentle you know and I hadn't wasn't that familiar with their music but meeting her
00:21:56
and then hearing WAP it's like okay I got it I got it you know what's really funny about cardi B uh a friend of mine's turned me on to her years ago just from her Instagram feed and I kind
00:22:07
I tried to get her a deal at Comedy Central to do a show like a comedy show because she's funny I thought I I'd
00:22:15
never heard one rap she hadn't wasn't even rapping or whatever at the time I was like this girl's funnier than
00:22:20
everybody yeah you know what's interesting you told me that about Nicki Minaj years and years ago I didn't know
00:22:25
who Nicki Minaj was and you go if you I said something about her and you go actually she's really funny she's she's
00:22:31
got a great personality and that was the first of me going oh really I like that you look at it with those eyes because
00:22:37
sometimes I look at I can't help it when I meet women or and not that you were dating them but when you just meet women that sort of easy funny thing that comes out of them is always really a great
00:22:49
quality because they don't try to be like Robin Williams they're just very funny personality I love it well you
00:22:55
know you're a handsome guy David so you think you have a chance I don't think I have a chance you're the good looking
00:23:01
guy whenever we go out they like rock better okay they always go why aren't you Chris Rock and I go zombies don't
00:23:09
you get more handsome than ever Chris don't you get that oh thank you it's not like you're like it's not like you're
00:23:15
aging horribly I'll just say that you're you're very we're all doing well he looks cooler yeah if I lean back and
00:23:23
have the mic here I'm in good shape the neck is not happy with this age but this is pretty good I you lose volume in your
00:23:29
face and you kind of your face recedes into your skull so you need glasses you need if this is something Jerry Seinfeld will do eventually but uh can I do you
00:23:40
wanna should I ask you kind of off the kilter questions oh because I'm name dropping who did you
00:23:49
have dinner with you guys last night me Jerry Collins just what the [ __ ] bucks
00:23:55
uh Paul McCartney good good Siri Jimmy Fallon Jr did they shut down the restaurant or what the [ __ ] and uh Aziz I'm sorry which Cheesecake Factory
00:24:11
so Paul McCartney goes you know I'd like something you know a little sudsy on the top and Jerry
00:24:17
I know what exactly sorry go ahead say that as a name drop I just I was just feeding Dana I do Jerry Seinfeld as a serial killer
00:24:29
because I don't think Jerry has two gears and Fallon does this one gear but sometimes Jerry goes when he did his
00:24:36
president bit someone wanting to be president I think I'm just the right guy for that thing I think I could do
00:24:42
president too he has that so I do him as a serial killer I'm just gonna go in cut
00:24:47
you a spleen go down the living do the thing anyway sorry I could do Paul McCartney
00:24:53
killed kills um so what do you like so when you're in that situation with those people you just look at the table and kind of go I belong right I mean you're chilling I mean you you learn that since
00:25:07
we're in that situation right now we're all pretty accomplished that's three yeah um yeah I mean hey nobody looks at Paul
00:25:15
McCartney and goes I should be here how you doing my equal and he's so he's there's no way Jared
00:25:23
but uh you know through lots of therapy yeah I can kind of relax but currently seems like he likes to hang out funny people also get a pass they like little Court Jesters around I've been invited
00:25:36
to [ __ ] out of mostly curiosity Factor they just go Spade go keep it keep things moving I'm like you know what I mean they like that you're gonna say something funny you're
00:25:48
enough David you don't have to be a Jester you are enough I just got the results back I have to be they told me
00:25:54
my therapist told me [Music] so Chris so I I went into therapy with Conan's therapist I piggybacked on his therapist at five I was in it for five
00:26:13
years what right what so you went through it intensely right so what's the headline what is what's the takeaway for you you know mine was is that I have a
00:26:24
hard time taking care of myself I'm always trying to help other people that'd be one of them you know I bought
00:26:30
a guitar for my nephew a really nice guitar and then I had a hard time buying myself
00:26:36
a guitar and I have a lot of money and I said God I'm sick so yeah I mean honestly this apartment is probably the first real purchase
00:26:47
I've made for myself in about 28 years right since I got that Corvette for oh at SNL that SNL like like life-changing purchase like so what
00:27:02
was that yeah I know what you mean like yeah always doing for other people uh I don't know you mean what I've
00:27:08
learned in therapy is like you know childhood trauma is like some real [ __ ] and you gotta until you deal
00:27:16
with all your childhood [ __ ] not you're just you know nothing's gonna work out
00:27:21
for you you gotta you gotta start at the beginning it's like working on a script okay interesting page one so when I met
00:27:29
you you were a young man but I were you ever kind of like snarky and spoiled in high school because by the time I met you you seemed kind of like this guy at
00:27:41
least in maturity you weren't bitter you weren't snarky you were never in a group with comedians kind of uh [ __ ] on
00:27:48
some other comedian so I noticed that attitude you had as a young man but I guess the childhood stuff for me it was like I had a lot of anger and it it was in my stand-up it was in my characters
00:28:01
and once in a while I'd go off on any kind of authority figure that turned into my dad but I I got you know I got past that but I how did your anger Express itself then
00:28:13
to you I mean here's the weird thing it's when I was um I mean my childhood I was bullied
00:28:21
ridiculously half of it the bullying because I was just a little guy and then I got bus to school so I got I
00:28:29
was a little guy and I was black right it's hard so it's like I'm getting double bullied I would if I was white I
00:28:36
would have probably got bullied too but it was just wow it was just supposed to be tough probably yeah it was pretty
00:28:43
rough right and it was pretty like every day so I it's weird I had a weird uh temper
00:28:50
I'm gonna it's gonna be a weird thing I was the oldest of seven and and I was weirdly smaller than my younger brothers so it was a weird thing where your
00:29:04
brothers and like hey so-and-so down the block bothered me and I'm I'm like I gotta
00:29:11
oh Andre I told you yeah wow and I'm [ __ ] smaller than them so anyway one day a guy a guy really disrespected me really bad like mushed me at a party and like
00:29:24
mushed me and push like kind of like kick sand on my face in front of girls and I went home I put a brick in a book
00:29:35
bag this is like a legendary story of my like bad boys yeah and I [ __ ] swung that [ __ ] and smacked this guy in the face with this brick and then stomped him Joe Pesci's style wow now to the
00:29:51
point we thought he might die for like even like three days later every time a cop or whatever would come through the
00:29:57
block would be like we're literally talking about waves of getting me this down south like that would have helped
00:30:03
huh the long story is short from that day on as my shrink puts it to me you've been scared to be angry ever since
00:30:14
so I so the guy you saw was bending over backwards to be nice because I was so scared of my anger yeah I say yeah frightened of what you know
00:30:29
my shrink my good the good shrank I got you know like the top top guy there's good ones and bad ones there's good ones and bad
00:30:39
ones you know and he broke it down we gotta get you right because you're a nice guy and this guy brought out something in you and
00:30:50
you're so scared of that thing coming out of you again yeah that you let the whole world walk all over you your friends walk over here your family walks
00:31:02
over you you're you're you're your female relationships like everybody just [ __ ] you over
00:31:08
it's somewhere in there they know you there's a four skill holding you back interesting I'm like the opposite of you in the
00:31:19
sense that in the last year now I can get a right I'm not scared I'm not scared of letting people know how I feel about it my therapy was about that too though because I was always the nice guy
00:31:31
holding stuff in and not really my aggression my competitiveness overwrote the nice guy because people ask me who meet me now well did you just allow
00:31:41
other cast members like oh no Lauren do their sketch that kind of thing there's a natural competition in me but in my
00:31:48
personal relationships I I hated confrontation because when confrontation happened at my house bodies flew my dad
00:31:55
was just really violent so I mean all my siblings are like that we don't like complications
00:32:03
would per se but it was loud as [ __ ] yeah so but those things stick with you just loud yeah it just sticks with you so now yeah I can kind of I I can tell
00:32:15
you I'm hey I didn't like what you said to me or I didn't like what you without losing my head without hitting anybody
00:32:21
well that's all that's a home run for therapy let me ask you a question so this apartment I can't see much of it so
00:32:27
it was a mental leap for you to buy this for yourself it yes because you're all you were
00:32:34
Frugal too in a way right you're always you you wouldn't be the guy who would spit spender I wouldn't say your best
00:32:40
manager agent is a low monthly nut that is like right you you don't want to be doing the the fifth lead on yeah you can keep a low monthly nut chances are your
00:32:52
career will be make good choices yeah yeah you don't have to say yeah there's meetings you don't even have to take
00:32:58
yeah yeah when the Cameo guy calls you up you know like I call it [ __ ] you money in the 80s and I guess that's kind of what it is like or now it's just no thank you
00:33:09
no thank you yeah yeah no thank you yeah yeah when you said you were married and you go
00:33:15
I think it's from Iraq that are you scared she's gonna take 50 and you go 50. it's 80 now you don't buy yourself much but when
00:33:26
you're married didn't we have that conversation at the 40th backstage there's so much there you told me about the divorce and you said well it's half and you know I just mentioned that other
00:33:38
people I'd known in the business and they go well it's half of you know community property and then the alimony
00:33:43
adds up to more like 60 70 percent it's about 70. yeah okay 70 which is fair I'm kidding that's insane yeah I always say my ex-wife has made more money off
00:33:58
of Comedy than uh Robert Townsend she also said well I'm the only comedian that has to drive a cab at night yeah
00:34:17
[Music] what kind of choices are you making now as far as uh girlfriends and stuff or
00:34:24
dating or like how are you and this therapy is informing all of that and I think women generally do like when someone's straightforward you know yeah
00:34:35
I mean I don't know how I'm just not as desperate as I've been in the past okay just you know just you know I mean like it's not like that thing where it's like oh my God I can't believe someone's
00:34:48
paying attention to me and then you know right right and then you're in this weird lopsided thing where
00:34:55
you both you both have one thing in common you adore her okay here's a quote I want you guys both
00:35:02
to comment on worship this quote just comment on it okay whether it's true or not men want to be admired and women want to be loved by a man they
00:35:16
admire it's pretty accurate I guess I guess I mean I don't men want to be admired by who the woman appears well that's right yeah
00:35:29
yeah I mean like when I make this special or whatever the only thing people I care about is like you guys [Laughter]
00:35:38
not even comedians just comedians I think they're funny yeah I know what you mean yeah the rest I can and we know we're in the tribe we know what like
00:35:50
when we see you on stage well I always love how you have the chord and the way you move and you're all dressed up and you look great and the crowd's going crazy and you're just hammering it I
00:36:02
know what work went into that I'm like [ __ ] you know and then to throw it all away and just be connected to it like I I was really curious about this particular line you had these anthems
00:36:14
and one was a man's only as faithful as his options which it seems like it was just hanging
00:36:19
around but it became quotable with my friends it's what not whether it's absolutely true but it's just a very
00:36:26
funny astute observation pretty true um came up with it I think like one of my uncles said it to me well that's it that's coming up and I shoved it in a joke yeah but that's coming up with it
00:36:40
you know noticing it and I think I can use that yeah yeah but yeah that one follows me everywhere
00:36:46
really oh good good and bad you know oh it's like everybody a little too close with fur so yeah it's like any girl you date it's like man's only as faithful as his options yeah they're like sir are
00:36:59
you out of options you're like um well yeah I mean I'm hey I had it well isn't that special I can't
00:37:07
get away from it no I'm kidding Rock what are the three top things that people on the street know you for
00:37:20
eign like like specials end up becoming mixed together on some level sure they don't
00:37:38
just go that joke you told this joke yeah yeah there's a lot of I got a gas car too I was on uh I did a lot of Oprah Winfrey when I have to bring the pain so
00:37:51
there's a certain amount you'd be amazed at the housewives that or the you know that are into that know what I do but um I mean it's not SNL anymore it's more
00:38:04
movies here that's I don't know I'm like uh I don't know it's like remember we were kids and you just see uh I don't know I'm trying to think certain people were
00:38:14
just famous and you couldn't even figure out why yeah you're like why is Charo fake you know what was hard for me to
00:38:20
realize him when people you're like we're recognizing me I thought oh it was so great until I heard one people one person say oh I know that guy he sucks and I'm like oh it doesn't mean they
00:38:32
like me it just means they know who I am they just know you I mean I'll tell you this that grown-ups is funny yeah growth
00:38:39
is a big one you're right you're right any young person like God grown-ups we're keeping the lights on at TBS I'll tell you because it's on like yeah CBS heavy rotations grown-ups literally
00:38:52
all the time one and two one two you know what question I got what you guys would might not like
00:38:59
um in my last interview they go uh when were you the most famous I know what he means and I said the real answer is right now
00:39:10
because everything's accumulation but in around it's me and Chappelle always let joke about it I always go yeah back
00:39:32
when I was Drake that's that's like yeah drink drink them up 2002 four I was Drake you know
00:39:40
whatever from 96 to about 2 000. here before special in a row it was like four specials in a row oh it was very
00:39:51
drake-like yeah yeah there's no million dollar nights now but there were those are you well
00:39:58
Bill Burr I don't know what are these what does he get no no no no Bill Burr police reverse yeah if you can do
00:40:05
Madison Square Garden you're doing Arenas yeah you know but Sebastian does two Sebastian does two shows a night at a race yeah unreal that's unreal yeah I
00:40:17
loved it that guy really stood out for me I mean in the last five years as just funnier you especially you go watch him at the store you can't not laugh oh I
00:40:29
love I I was in the back of the store and just going oh my God who the [ __ ] is this guy I was and then I come in the
00:40:35
next time I saw his name I go in and watch the funny thing now to me is when people
00:40:40
were playing like Madison Square Garden like I think you've played it Chris there's these big places you hear of
00:40:45
like in Boston TD Gardens whatever it's called there's so many big ones the form
00:40:51
it used to be reserved for like Eddie Murphy maybe and maybe someone else and now when you hear people that aren't
00:40:58
even household names to me and you go this guy's playing this play you go whoa this is a whole new world where through a podcast or through YouTube or through their specials where is a little under
00:41:09
the radar but they have a crowd that comes out it's uh it's it's pretty unbelievable I
00:41:15
think the exposure and social media and everything else is they become friends with you so it's kind of like your
00:41:21
friend nobody is playing Madison Square Garden you know yeah and also I I think there's more I I know in Europe and around the world they always
00:41:33
respected stand up as a high art but in America it's the stand-ups are becoming a real learning yeah because um and music music's become a a
00:41:45
producer's medium yeah so it's there's not a lot of singer songwriters not a lot of no one gives a [ __ ] about liner notes anymore so the people that actually think are the comedians
00:41:59
you know what I mean like so there's kind of because you write your own stuff which is hard yeah it's like you know uh
00:42:07
Hey I Love Rihanna Tom Segura is a better artist you know what I mean write songs you're right he writes all of his stuff
00:42:18
you know Rihanna's great she's amazing yeah but you know in the in the tradition the
00:42:24
nerdy tradition of coming up with your own stuff would you rather date Rihanna or Tom Segura be
00:42:30
honest I would rather date Rihanna Tom cigar is a great example of someone that does I won't say numbers but he does a
00:42:37
podcast and then I ran in him and he goes we do these live ones so he makes a shitload off his regular podcast and then it's a live one and it's crazy where I go you do not
00:42:48
make that a three-hour podcast he's like yeah yeah and then he goes next one we did it doubled I was like
00:42:57
his podcast is great and that's an example of that where I haven't thought when the web first came out why couldn't
00:43:03
I could I get a million people to pay me a dollar a month and I'll just go ape [ __ ] on YouTube and that's starting to happen a little bit where someone I don't I don't know Tom's numbers but I
00:43:15
would guess if he charges 10 bucks and he gets 50 000 people on his live YouTube little podcast he's making a
00:43:22
half million yeah I mean yeah I understand too like all right so I'm going to get too technical humans need people to talk right so
00:43:34
whatever 100 years ago 50 years ago about philosophers used to be famous there's no more [ __ ] blasters uh
00:43:42
people used to be religious and and went to a church every week no one goes to church anymore so the only place people actually can hear people say their thoughts is through stand up
00:43:58
the last of the speakers and you know I mean the last of the thinkers some of these Preachers by the way are similar they walk the stage
00:44:11
they're talking they're rallying people they're talking to everyone's into it when I'm ready I watch preachers just as
00:44:18
much as I write watch stand-ups really it's interesting you come off a little bit like that you work the stage you're
00:44:25
like a panther well my grandfather was a preacher my great grandpa like all I have preachers in my in my family line
00:44:31
well you see their performers that what works it works for them they're loud they give it to them they find a premise
00:44:37
they milk it yeah I would well my my two sons were doing stand-up and they had the the main problem so I was around open My Curse a lot and the main thing was lack of
00:44:49
clarity in the setup so I actually put you on one of your specials I said look at this
00:44:56
guy's language this Clarity of really digging into the premise that everyone knows where he is and then he drops the hammer so you know that that makes sense to me and obviously Sam Kennison was a
00:45:08
preacher you could really see that you know yeah one of the best the hardest guy to follow I followed him once again
00:45:15
party's got to follow ever I auditioned for Saturday Night Live and followed him as an unknown in 84. at The Comedy Store
00:45:22
with no MC in between Sam levitates the room and now Dana clarko death I have no way out there was nowhere to go man
00:45:36
[Music] so Chris as far as just fun is stand up how much do you what size room and what's the situation like for me in a
00:45:47
small room where I've got a notepad and I have some bits and I'm trying out new stuff that is the most pure fun
00:45:55
um for me as far as stand up I mean it's weird I'm I start next week or the week after I go
00:46:03
to it I'm not going to say where because I don't know when this is airing but uh I'm playing a club three years and
00:46:09
nights in a row it's in the middle of America doing two shows a night yeah yeah trying to get it try to get an act
00:46:16
together so I can go on tour next year uh that is fun once you once you get enough bits that are working I mean this is the greatest feeling a new [ __ ] that's unreal coming together me and you
00:46:29
still got it time is early in a tour you've been on stage about 45 minutes you're chilling and you know and I just feel the
00:46:42
audience is like oh you [ __ ] ain't heard [ __ ] yet right you're loaded up you're all you're so happy oh you
00:46:49
guys think you just heard a great joke when you hear this your clothes is coming up yeah have you ever rode a bit
00:46:55
Chris where it came together so perfectly that you thought man I don't know if I can write something that good
00:47:02
again I mean or equal to it you know I'll say this this bit when my daughter Lola was born the doctor hands me my child and
00:47:14
literally out of my mouth I'm like gotta keep her off the pole it just came out of my [ __ ] say that again I was like
00:47:23
I gotta keep her off the pole oh that's right yeah yeah one of the best one of the best bits I
00:47:30
ever came up with was like should I just get women pregnant to come up with me yeah it's fun it's like a song I'm sure
00:47:37
you ask uh any song you know people sometimes they're one hit wonders but there's one hit wonders where I go this
00:47:44
is such a perfect song like everything about it is working everything yeah and you go and you don't want to be that as
00:47:50
a comedian so there's only a few things when you get older that still get me going it's like
00:47:55
there's a few tiny things in life and one is coming up with new ideas just or saying something fast in real life
00:48:02
you're like I [ __ ] thank God my brain still works because that's fun and when you still like to do stand-up or still like to write jokes I'm happy because I know some people
00:48:12
that are burned out on Showbiz are burned on that and they just don't like it anymore but they go through the motions or a comic that travels with the
00:48:19
same hour for about 20 years which they used to a lot same act same every year you'd see them
00:48:24
they come around your city and I'm like [ __ ] they didn't change anything but it was okay now it's fun to to write and
00:48:31
see if you can scrape together another hour that's good but isn't that uh sometimes I would say I'm bittered by it
00:48:38
but I'm like envious and I'll just say the Rolling Stones I'm just envious of people uh of but we we have to create new material and rock stars can just do
00:48:50
their yeah we don't even want them to and I I really believe the stones are better than they've ever been because I
00:48:57
think really winding down on a song over decades where you just know it so well and Jagger never stops working I mean he you know he can he's his voice is exactly where it needs to be at almost
00:49:09
80. but we stand up be like I can't okay gotta start [ __ ] a whole new hour I mean
00:49:15
it's like yeah it's it it's and it doesn't get any easier yeah I'm sitting here right now I'm like okay I got I
00:49:21
literally have shows in next and let in less than two weeks I have [ __ ] shows well there's two there's two things going on there there's there's Chris Rock unknown it's surprising the
00:49:34
audience now the expectation is you know when they you when they introduce you to make sure they don't go over the top with it because I've I've been dropping at Mike's ladies and gentlemen you know this guy's gonna
00:49:46
bring it you're gonna really you know what's your what what do you want the MC to do for you in the club he's trying
00:49:52
out stuff what do you want him to say I just just say my name no credits just don't hype it up you know I mean it's weird because it's like you can't get
00:50:02
away from being Chris Rock you can't get away from being who you are and by the way you can't get away from being who
00:50:08
you are to the guy intro introducing you right you know what I mean yeah because that guy's a comedian and he this is
00:50:15
what he's I met Joe I met Joe Coy once 10 years ago with Lovett's or maybe it was 12 and he started tearing up just meeting me yeah he started wives were watering and
00:50:27
go Joe it's okay you know he's huge now but uh there is that expectation and you try to remember the way they see you you
00:50:35
know the way you would see someone above the food chain when you were starting it's interesting yes I forget who used
00:50:42
to say somebody said at their first Letterman they sat down was like Letterman was so intimidating to me that the last few years I I would just get on
00:50:56
my heels I I'd be in the wings and I'd see them the last thing I'd say where they'd introduce my name don't give this
00:51:03
show too much respect like pretend it's Bakersfield today just to get past the intimidation of David Letterman there was something about New York that theater in him and I didn't know he was
00:51:14
intimidated by Biff Biff was standing you know what I mean and he was like looking out and he's like 30 seconds I'm
00:51:21
like [ __ ] [ __ ] Biff I gotta go out there he's so casual and I'm like all right I
00:51:27
gotta get his love yeah because he's on the show he's the last thing you've seen he actually was making him work he really wanted affirmation
00:51:44
are you all right oh cool you know there was a time Biff was more famous to me it was like [ __ ] yeah where's your dressing room Biff all right let's let him go Dana we did
00:51:56
good with him this was so much fun Chris it's always good [Music] this has been a podcast presentation of cadence 13. please listen then rate review and follow all episodes available
00:52:09
now for free wherever you get your podcast no joke folks fly on the wall has been a presentation of cadence 13. executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Chris
00:52:21
Corcoran of cadence 13 and Charlie finan of brilstein entertainment production and Engineering led by Greg Holtzman
00:52:28
Richard cook Serena Reagan and Chris Basil of cadence 13.