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I think I think we're we're starting. Hello and welcome to Fly on the Wall without a guess is what we call it with our segment called Standing or Sitting. So, uh we talk about news and
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what's going on and we don't really know anything and everyone loves to point that out.
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We're two idiots talking. Who cares? Good for us. So, uh we have strong opinions. We're
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passionate alpha males and we we want to express ourselves, but we we we're not saying we're correct, but right, by the way, I saw I'm watching right now another rough cut of Bus Boys.
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It's getting closer to being shown to people. Show it to people. We have no bosses. People don't know this. We paid for ourselves. We're just going to show it. See if anybody wants to put out
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anywhere. or we'll just put it out and say press here by watch. So, well, I've only heard Yeah. about Buzz Boys for quite some time.
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Yes. And I'm uh maybe too long. No, but I haven't seen a frame. Not nothing. Just hearing about like what what do you guys look like together? Where are you
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going? How's it shot? I'm very very curious. Yeah. I'll show you one quick uh like
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one minute thing we have about it. like a not a real trailer, but something Theo shows on the road. Well,
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I'm excited. It's a silly comedy. Yeah. So, basically, as long as a basic story tracks, but no one's going to leave it going, that story tracks so well. But just enough. And then you need I'd say
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in an 80minute movie, you probably need three banger scenes. I'm serious. And then other other little laughs, but or at least two big scenes. That's all you really need.
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You just need some memorable ones. Remember Deuce Bigalow Schneider? The movie that did great was really sold off
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the trailer with him in gravity inversion boats swinging and hitting an aquarium and ripping it down and a full stunt crash, fish and water everywhere.
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And it was like I'm going to that. I think that um yeah there that you could you know a lot sometimes with comedies I think Rob queued into that if the sound broke
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like you you didn't have any sound you still would be laughing a lot of the time you know funny with the sound off I
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remember in the be the beginning Schneider had some guy go use the restroom and he he was peeing for like two minutes and it was like a fire hose
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and it was just Rob's reaction So, yeah, that's funny. It was just Yeah, there's some stuff. So, we'll see.
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And uh we'll catch up more on that later. Um in the news, there's a big uh mention of this Epstein files thing. Mhm. Any thoughts on that?
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It's kind of the news of the week. I I would set the table with this idea that it's not like an overriding obsession with me,
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but the secondary premise is is is anyone anywhere in the world, someone of power or government or politician or important person quote
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unquote hiding something? Is there because the circumstances of how he died? He attempted suicide a few days before and he doesn't make it. Then he goes back. He has a cellmate. That's a that's
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a a murderer. Um, apparently the cameras either malfunction. There was a technical issue. The two guys to watch
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him fell asleep or got confused. I mean, it's so much stuff where you're not even
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injured to go, "Well, what what too many things happen at once." If this is Columbbo, I'm going back to
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the 70s. Or if this is Law and Order, is this your dog? Excuse me. I don't want to bother you,
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but I I I just have this wondering about why he would hang himself, you know, paging Kevin Pollock to do that
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impression. Yeah. But so you're Is someone lying and and just what the [ __ ] happened? Just
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tell us. Well, also you can see lists like they take a picture on Instagram of it's a list of a
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hundred celebrities. Everyone's like this is the real. But I've seen ones at Drew Barrymore. I've seen one like there's people you go this isn't
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anything. Well, it's also smart obiscation is if you want to just exaggerate add people and who knows if
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there was a list when I someone told me and I'm not a conspiratorialist that conversator I had a couple pops before the show and they said there's this guy named
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Jeffrey Epstein he's he's incredibly rich no one knows how he got the money he has a secret
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island or an island he flies Bill Clinton down there 13 times and other celebrities to the island, right? He has young girls that are, you know,
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15, 16, 17 year old girls that have sex with these famous, powerful men, and they're secretly recorded. And then that is used as blackmail and political leverage forever. And I just
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go, well, that sounds like a conspiracy, a total fantasy. But then I found out there is a guy named Jeff Ramstein. He
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does have an island. Bill Clinton did go on the island. There's certain things we know. So then you're like, well, what what else is
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going on? I'm not going to let you talk because I want the spade. I think a there could be a list like this famous list. Let's say they get the real list and the flight logs, but if
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it's Bill Clinton or Bill Gate, I would rather see a video of them doing something wrong because who cares? I
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mean, we just watching the Puffy Trail. It doesn't mean anything. It's all circumstantial. Like, so there is a list. So there's an island. So they knew
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him. Now, did they go there? Did they do anything? Is there proof they did anything? That's what people really
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really want. They don't just want to say, "Oh, I heard this or this?" Because they've heard that for years. And also,
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what could be happening? Because now they say he hung himself. No controversy, no list, no nothing. Which also sounds weird, right? Well, why why
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was there $290 million payout from Morgan Stanley? It was Jeffrey Epstein's bank to toward the victims. Why is his right-hand woman, if anyone
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had a list, and it wouldn't be a little black book, it might be digital or encode or whatever, why is she in jail
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for sex trafficking? So, and then why what are the odds? Why don't they would 2020 do the odds of him uh the guards falling asleep, the cameras breaking,
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right? Right. when he's hanging himself. I mean, but then they just did a video where they sent this is him in jail when
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he hung himself and you go I thought they broke. I didn't think the video when I was the
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last I saw it was just him walking through the prison. There was none of him in the in the in the Well, I saw but who knows? This is a
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story going on this week. So, a clip of a door of a They're like this is his whatever.
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I think one possibility which sounds pretty far-fetched. Let's say that stuff is good for
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blackmail with some people. So in lie of just telling everyone this guy did this.
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The people that have it now go to them and say now we'll blackmail you. So we need you to do this or we're going to
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let it out. Who benefited from Jeffrey Epstein not being on the planet? I mean this is like
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crime drama series we see all the time. And then here's the other part of it is that Pam Beyond, this press secretary as of this taping, what is her last name?
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Bondi, I think. Bondi. Yeah. Bondi. Yes. Um had come out a few weeks ago. Bondi. Yeah. Pam Bondi. That we've got all the files. We got the stuff. We're going to be giving you a lot of
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information. And then all of a sudden like that it was no hung himself. We don't have any evidence of any sex trafficking. There's no list. we have there's nothing just
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goodbye and even the first time they brought it up to Trump because why are we even talking about Jeffrey Ebstein?
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Why would we talk about that? Why are we um it it just makes you go but yeah but answer you're we're being told at least
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as of this taping don't ask any questions. Just shut up again. Yeah. I mean it it's sort of Yes.
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Yes, it's an old story, but it's one that you even Trump has to realize it's a curiosity factor for people. So, you just want to put it out for good. What's the answer? And when that answer comes
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out, everyone kind of goes, I don't know if that's the answer. Well, get do a showand tell press
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conference, have all the stuff, be humble about it, have Pam go up there and go, "Okay, this is what we thought.
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This is the this is the video of me saying I've got all this stuff." But then we checked it again and cross-cheed
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it. This is this is exactly why the cameras didn't work. This is exactly why they didn't work while he was hanging
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himself, you know, because it's just make piques your interest and it's just good for uh
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for the public psyche to not feel like they're being lied to. Yeah. By the way, were you I mean, this
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doesn't even seem fair, but were you in were you in New York when he went when it went down with Epste? Were
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you near that jail cell? Well, you think I did it? Well, I wouldn't know how. I'm not saying, I was there visiting someone that day in
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prison, but I did nothing wrong. Right. Which I knew about. You text me. I'm at the prison where Jeffrey, you know,
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I do good things. I go there and visit people and bring them lunch. Right. And also you did a a piffy kind
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of selfie where you you took a sheet and wrapped it up like this and went remember that a little video while you
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were in the prison. What's that? This where I'm faking making. Well, you're you you took the you had a
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sheet and you rolled it in a real tight thing like and it had a noose and you went like,
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you know, and I'm not making you culpable. I'm just saying there's stories that need to be explained.
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No, I'm just doing a funny selfie with that and it's not at the at the prison. Nothing to do with it. Yeah.
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Now, two things do not those don't add up. Uh, but we'll get into other stories now,
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but that was a story this week. And then there was the Diddy trial, which I don't think is over yet as of this press time.
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It's just the he hasn't been sentenced, right? It seems like, yeah, they're going to let him out after he's sentenced. You
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know, the judge did express worry that he would revert back and go after some of the I'm worried. I'm worried. But basically
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the sex trafficking or the the uh racketeering like so they're saying he didn't do it for the money. Do the two biggest things got dismissed and then it was transporting
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prostitution prostitution and I don't that could carry 10 years but I don't know but
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basically basically he got off basically I feel like he's in better place than he was like He probably will get reduced sentence. Has he been in jail this whole time? Maybe
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they'll give him time. Yeah, he's been in there like nine months. Now, let me you ask a question.
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Is there a chance? Mhm. That he's headlining Vegas in six months or he's he's just back does if he's out and they just say, "Okay, we're on probation." Uh, I definitely
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think he's back in biz. I think he has fans that will fully back him, fully go. I don't know if he's really even a singer or rapper. I don't even know really what he No one really knows what he does exactly. Robert did a cartoon on SNL and the
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entire notion of the cartoon, I might have mentioned this before, was what does PD do? I guess he's a producer, you
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know. Yeah. Which means whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Producer. I like that. But anyway, piggybacked on Biggie. I I mean, I don't know. I I can't talk. I don't know anything. Yeah. Uh, but you know, as
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just a an objective viewer or listener, I really know even less. All right, let's get into the hard news. This is very hard.
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I'll just say that one last Pete. Did he drop? It's unsavory. It's an unsavory story.
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Yeah, it's a little rough. Yeah, it's okay. Now, you were asking me earlier what pigeons look like
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when they puff out their chest to impress females, and I finally found some video. Okay.
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that impresses girls. I don't want to fall in love, I just want to kick. Stupid song helps it. That's a pigeon. I've never seen pigeons do that to impress me.
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Never. I've seen a lot of pigeons in the park in New York and whatever. I've never seen anything close to that. So,
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I mean, are they all married or why there No one's trying to impress another girl pigeon? Like, why are they They're walking through it.
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Is there a chance that's AI? I don't Well, there's a chance everything is. Yeah.
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Doesn't it make you kind of make that feel sorry when you watch these nature shows
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and the male component of a seabbug or whatever blows up into some freaky thing or changes its feathers to dark purple
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or whatever. It just sort of like these poor horny freaks of nature. It's true. Blowing up and looking like alien double triple aliens. The birds are like they puff their
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chest. They go Yeah. Yeah. The female bird goes, "I've seen this a million times." Or they go, "Ya da da da da." They're doing like
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little dances. Would a bird catch like you know 50 worms, put them in their mouth, and spit
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them out like a machine gun. Look what I can get. If they had a worm, Joey chestnut and it said, "How many
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worms can you eat?" And the other birds would get that would be kind of interesting.
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What if a frog to impress another frog? cuz we had a bullfrog up here in the middle of the night on the pond just but the thing is like what if a frog in a bioevolutionary way to impress
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would jump up a thousand feet in the air and then kind of fly down. What do you think of that? Do you have a frog voice? She goes, "Oh my god, I was uh on my phone. Go ahead." He's like, "I'm not
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doing that again. I just jumped 1,000 ft and then flew down." They make themselves kind of fat like that. anything else. I mean, the classic is the peacock. It's like,
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what's up? You have a peacock. That's pretty good. Not really. They kind of go, they put that [ __ ] out there. They're like, "What's up?"
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I think it was Johnny Carson was actually he was he was golfing. He saw a peacock and that's before NBC started.
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It was like 1952. He goes, "I'm going to I'm going to create a network and I'm going to have it the NBC, the BB Peacock
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network." Someone had to say that. It might have been him. Someone had to do that. But it is kind of weird. And I do think even now it's
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kind of unfortunate that NBC's live streaming is peacock because it ends with the word [ __ ] It doesn't sound inviting. Peacock. It's right now
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streaming on Peacock. Don't you find it's not a great name? Yeah, because also, you know, it's a comedy word
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because you know the the K sound people say is good in comedy. Like I'm over here washing my peacock.
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Yeah, exactly. That's a Dennis kind of thing. Okay, let's see what we have here in the peacock uh reverence territory.
00:15:31
All right. Spade made a million bucks, ran out and bought himself a peacock. Yeah, that's what I need more of in my
00:15:38
life. Okay. swordfish with a little teriyak sauce and a live peacock and some sort of corral on my ranch. Got a [ __ ] peacock under glass.
00:15:53
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00:18:49
Okay, we'll go to the next one. Next one. This is so interesting. Crowd is on the edge of their seat.
00:18:55
Yes. The most dangerous person in tech is an Eliner. Alman. Oh, is that Sam Alman?
00:19:01
Elon. It's 28-year-old Oh, he built the training system for open AI and Zucker gave him Zuckerberg gave him 15 billion for it. Yeah. I mean, I think the only question people have is is he
00:19:13
right or left? Because if it he gets to steer how people think. Very powerful position. You're right. What is it just science or you know it can be used for good or
00:19:25
evil? We've seen it in science fiction films and now now we're kind of living it. The idea that a 28-year-old gets handed 15 billion to make AI that'll
00:19:35
take us over. 15 billion. That's 18 zeros, baby. Back to Dennis. 15 billion for about six
00:19:43
days of work. Okay, that's a toddling character there. I like to be a chess thumper with the
00:19:50
ladies. All right. You know how many peacocks you could get? Okay. He said all he did was hire
00:19:55
sweat shop workers to procure data sets on the internet. I don't know if that's all he did. I mean, he said that about himself. No, this is this comment on the side.
00:20:06
Oh, people who kind of know comments are always funny because although Oh, he's brilliant but
00:20:11
he lacks wisdom. Heavy comment, heavy. Well, again, if you want to be in the room with it's Zuckerberg hired him or who paid himuckerberg.
00:20:22
So, the guy we got a guy who's really good he's 15 billion. All right. Okay. I got I got a guy a guy
00:20:30
who's really really good as well. He'll do it for 10 billion. I got three guys that'll do it for 2 billion each. So, how do they arrive at 15 billion? They tell me you couldn't for 14 billion
00:20:42
subplant him. He's that valuable. No, it's not just a guy. He's bringing his [ __ ] with him. Oh, his whole giant.
00:20:48
How about he goes, "No, I still own it, but I'll come up with new [ __ ] for you." They're like, "No, no, no. We want this
00:20:53
thing." Oh, he owns it. Okay. Yeah, he owns It's like forget everything I just said. Yeah. Trademark or he owns the guts of it. So
00:21:00
Mhm. I guess listen I remember when they brought the first time I was hearing billion people are too young
00:21:07
everything was millions government we gave 10 million to this place we gave 100 million which was like the highest
00:21:13
when it hit billion I think during the last four or five years it turns into a billion then I heard 20 billion then
00:21:20
we're doing 100 billion like you can't compute these numbers at all everyone it's just nothing any it's so
00:21:25
high it's unbelievable so everyone overpaid Instagram, I think they were bought it
00:21:32
for a billion and I thought that's insane for this stupid [ __ ] And then it's obviously worth a lot. And then Snapchat, I think the guy wouldn't take
00:21:43
two or three billion from Google. And I was like, dude, I know. Is anyone going to get mad that you took
00:21:49
three billion, you got ripped off? Let's say it goes to 100 billion. You still have three billion. You're not going
00:21:54
through it all. I mean, goddamn. Get the stress off. Sell it. It's one of it's it's a heartbreaking
00:22:00
thing when startups get lucky and they have this they don't make much money but they're valued so much higher and
00:22:07
someone wants to buy them and it's if it works out when you say no but if you work if it doesn't work out
00:22:13
you're like how in the [ __ ] did I say take your three billion right take your [ __ ] three billion and shove it up your ass yeah it's like teams that overpay for a
00:22:24
player and they bomb and they have like a nine-year deal with them they're like oh My god. Oh, I love the NBA. What's his stats? He
00:22:31
gets six points a game, two rebounds, and one steel. What's his yearly income? 71 million. You know. Oh, yeah. I want the talent to get paid. I want the talent to get paid.
00:22:43
Your boy Kevin Love gave me a shout out yesterday. Really? Do you know who that is?
00:22:48
Of course. Great forward um who famously came out about just mental health issues. Kind of helped a lot of people in the league. He just got traded, I guess, yesterday. Where's he going?
00:23:01
To a different team. To a different team. All right. All right. Was he on Miami? Heather, look it up. Kevin Love. Heather just shrugs her shoulders. I go, "No, look it up." She
00:23:12
goes, "I don't [ __ ] know." I go, "I know, but Heather can look things up. I mean, she
00:23:18
can look it up and she's going to say, I think it's a Miami Heat going to somewhere." Utah Jazz acquire Kevin Love
00:23:24
and Kylie Anderson in three term team. Utah Jazz took them. So I don't think he was expecting it because he posted a Jod Dirt clip saying, "What's it like to get traded?"
00:23:38
And it was Kid Rock going, "Nobody wants you here. You crying, boy? Nobody wants
00:23:43
you here at all. Get out of here." Hilarious. Oh, trading's heartbreaking. I mean, there was just recently a seven team
00:23:50
deal where I'll take this, you take this guy, you take this guy. The Warriors were in it. Houston, he'll go over here.
00:23:56
Yeah. Seven teams like so complicated. I know. I can't keep track of it. I don't understand all their deals like,
00:24:03
you know, free agent, restricted free. I don't really understand how it all works. Do I care? Sort of.
00:24:09
Not enough to look into it. It's fun for you. You're more into the Bball that you go they should get this
00:24:15
guy if they lose this guy but this guy's get you know they finally make money and then they get too expensive for someone.
00:24:22
Yeah. It's it's a real it's a guts move to turn down things and how you navigate your career. You you ideally want to get
00:24:29
fu money initially and then you can take more chances with that. You know I mean there were there are players in any professional sports who just just saved every penny when they were
00:24:39
playing. Um, Dana Dana wants FS money. [ __ ] spade. Take all his money. Dana's got lots of money. I'm not No one's worried about
00:24:50
Dana. Okay, let me just make this comment. Okay, that's not true. But there if you are
00:24:59
someone who's living in a nice small house, really humble, have a humble car, whatever, and you have enough money coming in where you do what you want to
00:25:12
do when you want to do it. If you want to work full-time or you don't want you are by lifestyle, lifestyle is a
00:25:19
millionaire lifestyle when you don't have to think about money. And a lot of that's just the expense.
00:25:24
Yeah. I like to give wisdom to What was the question? Um, it was Jeffrey Epstein. Did he hang himself? No, that was so 11 minutes ago.
00:25:36
Puffy's hosting this week. Um, I'm really enjoying the podcast. I thought the 11 minutes on the Peacock
00:25:43
was was was a really seminal moment. I thought Epstein into Peacock was brilliant. We have Puffy. He's also the musical
00:25:53
guest. That will mean he's fully back. I'm P. Diddy. I ain't going any anywhere. I'm back in the city.
00:26:05
I got the baby oil. I know how to toil. I one time whoop the soil. Everybody find some oil. Get I bffed olive oil. [Laughter]
00:26:19
Well, papa was watching. My name's not guilty. I know people think I'm filthy, but I want to tell you the whole story. Ify I pass a water
00:26:30
bippy. Godamn. I know I ran out of steam. We've been This is our third podcast today.
00:26:37
Yeah. Uh, okay. We'll go to next story. We really are racking them up. Rack them. I love this podcast so far.
00:26:44
Okay, this might be real, might not. These are a lot of girls have podcasts, a lot of women. And a lot of them I'm
00:26:51
figuring out mostly Only Fans, girls. It seems like if you see something like this, it might be a fake podcast cuz no one actually looks at the real one. So they it's a good way to get clips on.
00:27:03
You really just film a woman suit on a couch. So if she's talking to the girl, but
00:27:09
there's no real podcast, but it looks like one. They're just doing clips anyway. Oh, I see. Just clips as if you just basically are filming clips.
00:27:15
There's no real I see it. They're there. How much did you pay in taxes this year? I didn't pay taxes. I've never paid
00:27:22
taxes in my life. You've never paid taxes? No. Okay. Well, so I haven't either. I really don't know even what taxes means.
00:27:29
Me either. And I just like have money in This is kind of where I'm at. I I really don't know.
00:27:35
What do you even do? How do you file for them? Like how do you pay? You need an extension.
00:27:40
Is there like taxes.com? Did she say extension? That's smart. That's one. I don't know. And it's different for every state. Like why does some states have to pay more taxes than other
00:27:50
states? I I don't understand. They never will. That's why we're a woman. Okay. Yeah, I'm a woman. It's fine.
00:27:55
Someone explain a girl. Okay. A deep conversation. Um I do think there's I think maybe in that world a lot either
00:28:09
forget or aren't advised to pay taxes. These people you hear making so much money in that only fans world. I don't
00:28:16
know. I mean, if you don't, you're going to get a rude awakening. Maybe I don't want to pay taxes anymore with
00:28:21
Wesley Snipes, right? I mean, they gave him bad advice and he went to prison, right? That's that that's what's
00:28:28
supposed to happen. I think what's happening more is no one wants to pay taxes cuz when you realize they missed
00:28:35
they're missing $20 billion in California, you go, why is that's my money I'm paying? And then it goes away
00:28:41
and you go, sorry, we lost 20 bill, but we need more so we're going to up the tax. I'm like, I don't want to pay
00:28:46
anymore. How about just figure out a new way because just keep telling us to give you money that you lose.
00:28:54
You lose it. Why is there not online a very clear easy third grader could do it of listing of where California you say California tax dollars
00:29:07
specifically where is it going to this education system to this uh charity uh and follow it make sure someone's using it for the right not just kicking it to their cousins and uncles and or just I
00:29:21
don't know it's so [ __ ] complicated I know and even you even if you talk to tax experts, you can say to them, "Um, I
00:29:28
don't know. Is that a write- off?" And they go, "I don't know. Nobody really knows. It could be. Maybe we'll write
00:29:35
off part of it." I think the frustrating thing for me is if I don't pay tax or something, they're on my ass within days. Like, you didn't
00:29:41
pay, you didn't pay exactly perfectly, you owe more, you're fined, you're late. But when they take your money and they blow it down the [ __ ] shitterter, they just shrug their shoulders and go,
00:29:53
"Yeah, I don't know. Give us more. and you better do it fast. I'm like, get [ __ ] It's getting annoying, dude.
00:29:59
It's getting bad. Give me one non-bumpy street that doesn't rip up my oil pan. I'll be all right.
00:30:05
My neck and my oil pan. That's all I'm looking for. Yeah, let's let's have some Let's have some pre-burns. Let's have some fire
00:30:12
Let's add some fire management. Let's Let's have Let's have our gas prices where people poor people can afford it. Um, you know, let's uh let let's have
00:30:23
really I know these are hot takes and let's have really safe neighborhoods. Let's have just all over the state.
00:30:30
Let's put some people in jail again. If you if if you're a criminal and do something wrong, maybe there's a punishment. I mean,
00:30:35
that's going too far. You're telling that is going too far. I swear it's a new world where,
00:30:41
you know, the criminal is the victim and that's just a tough new world I'm not quite wrapping my head around yet.
00:30:49
Um, it's hard for me to comprehend it, but you know what? I think in California, a lot of people once it's in
00:30:55
your up in your face, then they're sort of like, you know, whoa, whoa, what, you know, this we
00:31:03
should not make it the new normal. When you're in a safe neighborhood and you feel safe at night, you it shouldn't be
00:31:08
like, well, that this actually feels good, you know, right? You shouldn't have to be like,
00:31:13
um, I know someone who was out in a town, uh, sort of outside in the valley toward toward Palm Springs and then at 6:00 they were at this party and they just said, "You guys got to get out of
00:31:25
here." They go, "Why?" Well, the gangs will start to filter. You've got it 6 o'clock. You got to drive out of here
00:31:30
now. You don't don't wait. So, I'm at a store right where I go to the bottom of the street, walk out front, some dude's chewing on a [ __ ] extension cord. He's
00:31:42
got a black check in his hand. What am I gleo? You know, it's just nerve-wracking. There's a lot of
00:31:48
nerve-wracking stuff anywhere. I mean, there's almost no neighborhoods where you go, "This is totally fine." I'm at a 76er down in Hollywood and
00:31:55
trying to get some petrol. Okay, first of all, it's $19 a gallon. All of a sudden, I see Skippy, the homeless guy. He's got his pants around his ankle, his unit in his hand. He's chugging a half
00:32:07
pint of Winsky and goes, "Have you got a dollar?" Okay. And that was the best part of the day down there. All right.
00:32:14
I remember the one time when a guy came out of CVS. He goes, "David Spade." I go, "Hey, man." He goes, "David Spade."
00:32:21
He followed me for three blocks and he goes, "Give me some money." And it turns into like a casual robbery cuz I go,
00:32:26
"All right." And I go, "There's 10 bucks." He goes, "I know you got more than that." I was like, and then he goes, I open my wallet and he goes,
00:32:32
"Give me that hundred." And I go, "Well, a hundred feels like a little." And he goes, "Pluck." And I go, "All right. Can
00:32:40
I leave the crime now? Am I Then he says that that's a pretty watch. You give him a watch. Yeah. Give me that
00:32:45
watch. Yeah. Then give me that jacket. Where does this end? And he goes, "You always wear blue on
00:32:53
that podcast." And I go, "Oh, you have a laptop." He's like, "Uh, you and Dana kind of complain about stuff maybe too much." I go, "All right, well, that's not what we're here to talk
00:33:04
about." I I just really don't know why um Tom Sigur would hassle you like that. He could be a perfect homeless guy.
00:33:18
I'm just shocked that Tom Christ too. Yeah. Uh okay, let's go to the next. What's this? Oh, this is funny. Oh, models doing dumb things just never gets old to me. Okay, the new You know, they always do a
00:33:30
modeling thing and they don't know where to put it. This This one there. Mhm. Oh, I don't know if you can see it.
00:33:36
They're in water. Okay, models in water. Models looking stupid in water. Dirt. Okay, we can drop the opera. That guy's
00:33:49
hair looks like [ __ ] Look at that. Marilyn Manson. Uh, you know, it it it looks uh ridiculous, but we're looking at it.
00:34:00
That's all I say. But a little Night of the Living Dead for me. But look at this outfit right here.
00:34:05
High collar. That guy's got some quads. High leather. You're not supposed to get
00:34:10
it wet. I heard this is the the episode of Dennis. Yeah. Christ sakes. That's what I need when
00:34:16
I'm looking for a vente jacket is some kind of zombie water motif coming at me. All right. I don't want to uh buy a Versace jacket for 22 grand. I find a largemouth lunker
00:34:29
bass in the pocket. That was a good one. Yeah. Okay. What's next? They get sucked
00:34:35
down the drain and you do a raffle to see which one's still alive. I mean, I got a goldfish in my chonies.
00:34:44
All right. That's funny enough. We got to do something where we're just sitting in ice baths or something during
00:34:51
the podcast, you know, to our neck. Oh, these are big prom entters. I gota have to ask Harper about this one. Is
00:34:58
this a good one, Heather? What do you think? Queen song. Okay. Out house. Great Queen song, by the way. Look at What the heck did I just watch? Lot of hits.
00:35:09
I don't like this long wind up to what we all know is about to happen. I don't know what's going to happen. Oh.
00:35:18
Oh, okay. Here's my little princess. So, she she sat in there for like 40 minutes. Yeah, she took a dump. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this isn't even Queen
00:35:32
Explo. Who is it? No one's impressed. It doesn't say. It says no one's impressed. No, all the faces. Oh, yeah. Everyone just staring off like this going. She's like, "Sorry, it was
00:35:44
taco Tuesday." Is that the dad's idea? You think? It's not a great idea. Daddy, I love I just want my prom cuz I get so nervous. Could you have an outhouse and I would make
00:35:55
nearby? Nearby. So I could go in it and then come out and and Bridget and S Susy
00:36:01
could take pictures of me coming out of the outhouse. Steady. Daddy, you ready in there?
00:36:08
Yep. [Music] Sometimes you see people they put a they put a little English on at the end. They go
00:36:23
put a little English on. has succumbed to this. It has It has come to this. We're not out of material. This is This is quality. I'm not saying this is the
00:36:34
bottom. This is good. I'm not apologizing. I don't apologize. Not for this. Not for this.
00:36:39
No, we don't go spin on people very much. That's so funny. Okay, next one. What people like? Don't be political and don't be dirty and don't be scalical. I'm like, what else?
00:36:54
That's you farting and changing yours. I was trying to top yours. Here is race car farting.
00:37:00
[Music] There's a Let me see what this is. Oh, this guy. Okay. There's a man in New York. This is the
00:37:15
New York Tik Tok or something. Man in New York known as the human carpet. He wants girls to walk step on him.
00:37:22
Okay. Is he an artist? I don't know. Oh, I see. Performance art. Look at that sort of thing.
00:37:28
He's rolled up in a carpet on the sidewalk. I would not I would do this for fun, but
00:37:34
I don't like it. Uh, so I'm glad I captured that for everyone. Here comes some more. He's got a few more folks walking on.
00:37:41
Should we Should we walk on his wiener? And then I'm going to go for you all so you could see.
00:37:46
I would get the boxer Butterbean. Look him up. I'd get Butterbean. Oh, she went for it.
00:37:53
Yeah. Okay. Kind of reflecting on what I just did, it seems like I might have indirectly pleasured someone from my
00:37:59
walking. It sounds like I'm doing God's work, but that was also a huge hazard and borderline illegal. So, do not
00:38:06
get rid of them. Uh that that was a little little offputting. It was rapping a guy at the end. I think
00:38:12
I gave pleasure to a guy with no foot. We don't need him. We need that part. The guy wrapped in the carpet wanting to
00:38:18
get stepped on. I say good for him, man. It's kind of funny that if that's your thing, he sort of goes, I'm just not
00:38:24
going to be ashamed. Do you want to hear a real story? Yeah, sure. And I don't know if I told you this one, but it'll seem too fantastical. It relates to this on some level.
00:38:36
I hope it's you wrapped in carpet. My brother Mark Garvey was living in New York in the 70s. He's he was an artist and a painter. He's still around, but he had a career and whatever. So, he's in
00:38:48
New York, okay? and he's going to an exhibit and you know art got a little funny in the
00:38:54
70s. It's still very exotic. So he goes in and they tell him that the artist has built a false floor under the floor. So when you go in to look at the
00:39:08
artist's paintings, he wants you to know that he will be under the floor that he's built and he will be masturbating.
00:39:15
Now this is directly God's honest truth. So there's no joke. I It's not Picasso, I'm guessing.
00:39:22
Okay. Going for the old false floor jack off thing under the under the Van Go. Okay. So that's, you know, that's like performance art. The guy in the carpet, you know, probably they film it and they
00:39:34
put it in a museum and then it's probably clear. So you can you go, "Hey, is that Van Blow down there?"
00:39:40
I knew you. Yeah. Let's see. Is that Leonardo dejov? Okay. Is that Peter Beard jerking the gerkin?
00:39:51
Another Edward hop around down there on your Johnson. Okay, this is Jackson Pollock wrestling the
00:39:57
bald-headed champ. Jackson Peacock down there below. Oh yeah, peacocks are also wood. But anyway, that's art is a art got got
00:40:08
funny. No rules in art. I will give you that. No, my brother Andy's into art. He's got all
00:40:13
these cool things, but it always makes me laugh. It's got very interesting things, but
00:40:18
it's good because you can really think out of the box. If you like it, you like it. But
00:40:23
sometimes I will go in and I I love going to art museums. Love art. But I'll I saw one once and it was 40 feet wide
00:40:30
and 20 feet high. It was all white, covered the whole wall and it just had one red dot in the middle of the painting. And I'm like, heavy man. Heavy. It's kind of like if
00:40:42
you think you could do it, then you you lose respect, you know? Yeah. If you see a Van Go, by the way, you go, "Holy shit." You know? Yeah. The good ones are good. I don't agree with all of them.
00:40:53
I told you this wrinkles. Uh, let's see one more and then we'll get out of here. We get We've really
00:40:58
spoiled everyone. [Music] Oh, no. This is funny. I had a dead beat dad growing up. Uh, oh. Oh, okay. These people hire this
00:41:11
guy. Okay, watch. Okay. Bomb. Here we go. Dead. Dad gets tackled. Oh, these moms tell this guy and they email
00:41:33
him and he just Who's taking the video? cuz he's committing a crime. Put that guy in the garbage. Uh oh, this guy's gonna fall hard. Is that
00:41:47
Norbit? Whoa, that was a big guy getting a big guy. And this guy's like later. Whoa. I don't promote violence, but you know. So, their dad are not only absentee.
00:42:00
Whoa. They don't aisle. All right, that's good. Don't do it in front of the kid, though. They don't dead beat dad. The the qualification is you you're absentee and you don't send
00:42:14
money. That's completely okay. Yeah. So the moms get frustrated. There's no money. They see them clicking their heels. They have no repercussion.
00:42:24
They have no recourse and they hire this guy. He does it for free. Just just be kind of harm them though. I
00:42:32
mean just go tackle him and say pretty tough tackle. go take uh go uh get back on your responsibilities
00:42:40
kind of. Well, I knew a a mom finally. I missed that. I didn't know where to use it. I've been sitting here with my hand on the trigger.
00:42:52
Um I know a mom that's so happy about her husband that she hires beautiful models to go find their husband and just make
00:43:03
out with him. So that's the flip side of what we just Oh, to get Oh, to give him a reward.
00:43:08
Oh, I thought it was to catch him cheating. No. No. Some girls will send in a decoy to say, "See if my husband will cheat, try to DM
00:43:15
him." You know, that kind of thing. Um, yeah. Well, deadbeat dads. It's a good It's a good phrase. Do they have a dad for a phrase for a non deadbeat dad?
00:43:27
Just dad. Just dad. Just divorced dad. No, my dad didn't pay the whole run since I was four. So, we were four, six, and eight.
00:43:39
Not a penny. Not an alimony, not child support. And he lived about a mile away, and he'd be clicking his heels. So, I
00:43:46
see the frustration. Yeah. It's just, you know, and then and then the the son you becomes very successful, has a
00:43:58
couple shekeles in his pocket and then and then suddenly daddy's around. So yeah, 100%. Uh okay. Well, we'll land on that and uh No, we'll send Oh, anyway.
00:44:09
So my dad never paid, [Laughter] but then I got on Sound Live. Why do I keep forgetting to buy some of
00:44:22
those? You got to buy something stupid. I got I have to do them as soon as we end this podcast or else I'll forget and
00:44:27
I want to shock you because No, maybe I'll buy one for you and we'll send it to you and you just open it and
00:44:33
start I'll open it on camera and then I'll be delighted. Uh we got two written question guys. Uh but you can do audio questions too. You can send it to uh
00:44:43
fly ontheinthewalla odyssey.com and you also can do it in audio. You can do it with a little video or you can write the question. So we got a couple right now.
00:44:54
Yeah. Okay. Let's say we're going to try one. Ready? Here we go. Is it written? I think it's written. This is the first one from Molly. This
00:44:59
is Molly from Cincinnati. Quick story. I watched David's most recent Netflix special on a flight to Texas. I was
00:45:05
giggling the whole time. At the end of the flight, my seatmate on the plane said, "I have to ask, what were you watching?" That was so funny. Question.
00:45:11
What goes into each of your hair routines? They looks highly stylized and elaborate.
00:45:18
That's the question from the special. The special was good. Yeah, I had a good little lumberjack shirt on.
00:45:25
Um I switch it to my shirt. No, the hair is saying uh it's really my hair story. That's is that you call your routine? No, we call it something else. When I
00:45:39
get up and do my hair, the first three and a half hours of my day, it's going like this. Hey. So, what it is is they they blow dry it straight because my
00:45:50
hair gets very wavy. That's really the part I hate. So, and I hate getting it worked on or touched.
00:45:57
So, I keep it for a couple days. But, they did it that night in the special because you have to. And then I didn't
00:46:02
know what I was going to wear. I had a coat or a shirt. And five minutes before they go, "You got to pick one." and I
00:46:08
said, "I'll put the coat over the shirt." I changed it and the rest is history. But I appreciate people watching. Why does that happen to us? Why do we wait to what we're going to wear in a
00:46:21
special? It's crazy cuz it's cuz you don't want to think You want to look sort of different. Like Lauren used to say, "Let
00:46:27
them know you're a star." That's what he'd always tell me. Dress like a star and separate yourself from people. But
00:46:32
when you do a show, Eddie Murphy in the red leather was like, "Oh, this is what you do. Really dress up." But I kind of
00:46:40
am not like that. It's not my vibe. So, I want to wear something a little more normal. Didn't want to go total t-shirt.
00:46:46
I think of the new new thing of authenticity. I think Shane Gillis come out in a
00:46:52
t-shirt or like people coming on like they're just just something they just picked up off the floor, you know? And that's kind of cool, too. You know, you sort of casual. It looked
00:47:03
like something you would wear. A flannel shirt, a coat, and I liked it. It was fine. But I appreciate them
00:47:09
watching and I'm glad they giggled. Um, yeah. Okay. Thanks. One more question until one more.
00:47:14
Till next time. All right. This is from Hayden. I'm an actress a year and a half a year and a half out of college looking for theater
00:47:20
work. I've been turned down at every audition I've gone to so far. Can you give me any audition advice for
00:47:26
someone just starting out in the industry? I wonder if she got turned down or she didn't.
00:47:31
get a call back or something. She never even auditioned. What does that sound like, Dana? Well, it sounds like she auditioned and
00:47:37
got turned down. Oh, I see. Okay. I mean, um, without seeing it. Um, I mean, it's the
00:47:46
easiest business to get discouraged in. So, she's not crazy. Uh, Mhm. It does take a while to get things going and know it well. There's a book called
00:47:58
Audition that might help. They gave me that when I was It's really It's almost a different muscle auditioning than being in something. Um, so you have to sort of study that and they can tell if
00:48:10
you're new. The way you hold your papers, the way you walk in, the way you start. Some people come in, they go, "We
00:48:15
going? Let's go." And you go, "Oh, they've done this before." But you know, Dana, me and you going, we go, "Hello,
00:48:21
my baby." We try to [ __ ] around. Well, it's like trying it's try not to try it. You know, first of all, okay, three things. It's an emotionally violent career, so get used to losing
00:48:33
and embrace it. Like I probably went 0 for a hundred for auditions in the 80s before SNL, maybe even more. And so you just collect them. First of all, it's never personal. It's usually a little
00:48:45
bit of luck. The things that I got, I got right away because they just thought I was the right type.
00:48:51
So never take it personal. I used to think that Marlon Brando had just read before me. I was so intimidated, you
00:48:58
know. Don't take it too seriously. Collect defeats and the only thing you control in your entire career is just try to get better. Whether it's an acting workshop or whatever, the rest is
00:49:08
just there's a lot of timing and luck to it. That's just the way it is. I'm the same boat. I missed I got a
00:49:14
commercial agent. You're perfect for commercials. Quote, two solid years at least two a week. one
00:49:22
in the valley in a suit, one down Manhattan Beach, an hour away with shorts and uh never got one two straight
00:49:30
years. So, yeah, it's almost impossible with those odds, but I didn't get anything. So, and then for Police Academy, someone saw
00:49:35
you doing standup, you look like the character they and I looked I could play under whatever under 18 and I could skateboard
00:49:41
skateboard. So, I got, you know, I would had a small deal at NBC, uh, and the head of the network, they were doing the Mickey Rooney show, and they needed someone to be his grandson, and I looked kind of like him, but I was 40 years
00:49:53
younger. And the head of the network, Fred Silverman, goes, "That's Mickey Rooney's grandson." He saw two seconds
00:49:59
of a video of me, right? I didn't even audition. And then other times I audition and I didn't get it. So, it's very normal. Just Just know
00:50:06
that it just try to work on getting better and your time will come. And hang in there. If you really like
00:50:12
it, you're going to do it forever. So, just hang in there. You You'll get work if you if you stick to it. Yeah. Mhm.
00:50:17
Thanks, guys. Thanks for uh the questions. Any final words for everybody? Um the only thing is on next super I
00:50:26
want you to guess this big mystery. Okay. What's in there? It's going to be something sort of sort of positive. Not
00:50:32
the last time it was a rovatin pill. That not that wasn't exciting. It could be a rotting tooth. It could be anything. We don't know. Yeah, that's the thing. It's the
00:50:45
mystery. It's the mystery bag. Everyone's freaking out. Okay, we'll see in the comments on YouTube. See if
00:50:51
people got this far. So, I can't wait to read comments. Cannot [ __ ] work. I'm going to sit down for a big evening
00:50:57
of comments. Yeah, I get a cigar and some Dinty Moore beef stew. Dinty Moore. My regular. That was a good pull right there. Got it. a doomsday shelter.
00:51:09
Jesus. Um, all right. We did Dennis Miller. We did. This is kind of an homage to our friend
00:51:15
Dennis Miller today. He just for some reason the comedy all improvised, no script. I know it seems amazing. Um,
00:51:22
Dennis was a very expressive vessel for what we're doing today. All right. Thanks for coming on my show,
00:51:29
Dan. I appreciate it. Thank you for having me, David. Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us a
00:51:42
review, fivestar rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this
00:51:48
episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey,
00:51:54
an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and
00:52:01
Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet
00:52:08
Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogerty, Evan
00:52:13
Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gainner, Shan Cherry, Kurt Courtourtney, and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out with us
00:52:26
any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at fly onthewala.com.
00:52:33
That's audacy.com.