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Dana wake up this the earliest you've ever done this I'm up at 6 6:15 every morning but we're we're we're recording very early this is Farmers hours I I
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don't want to give it a time but it's very early you can see that we both have drinking problems so yeah we have
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sunglasses on because we'd haven't been able to go to our dermatologist and get that sort of
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sponge uh vacuum thing they do for I'll be doing it someone in the comments said
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you drink too much you look so shitty on I go I don't barely drink at all so it might be mother nature uh news thanks for your commentary if you drink heavy you're GNA
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get booze face resting booze face but if you drink light and hydrate then never know I tell you another thing if you like processed carbohydrates a lot of
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them like a lot of them yeah it's uh tough on the old epidural around the cranium okay so hey Dana your epidermis is showing Jes are doing am things now
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what is this Good Morning America now Jesus this is the [ __ ] dooodle do show so what H we're doing this because we
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did already do Superfly Saturday in New York to give people a a summary on this this this episode of the rehearsal the blah blah blah but we didn't do the real show so we're just doing a
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pickup an intro a few things about the live show and we'll probably do it again next week because there was too much going on there was too much going on we only do it Saturday and then I thought
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well how can we talk about the Sunday night 50th on Saturday yeah and David I remember you your eyes got real big and you went blank you're like holy tomato I didn't even put that together I didn't
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we can't talk about what hasn't happened yet but now it has happened so I I wasn't there I had the flu I was on the
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downside of it but I still didn't have the o to travel wasn't recommended so you went to represent our podcast what do you got to say the most questions I
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got about it I'll just go through it aside from where's Dana which we cleared up was um which you did want to be there
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and you would have [ __ ] killed it of course um was Ryan Reynolds and Blake being there
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a why were they there they were there because I think they both hosted if you have hosted you are invited you can come
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to any of those events correct yes and of course uh we all know this whatever I don't do a deep dive on it but there's some kind of legal action with some actor Baldinos it sounds like
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some kind of pasta place and uh you know I don't know what it is I don't Deep dive on it like you and and Heather and Greg do but our team but you guys
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but uh I thought it was kind of funny because it's been in all the newspapers yes I'm from the 50s all the newspapers
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and when Ryan Reynolds said what have you heard basically tongue and cheek about it it was a good moment just that
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was funny but funny they should go they should go to the show they're like us just whatever is going on you try to
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make a joke about it but uh now listen so they show up I think nothing of it I don't really even put it all together
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why are they there I'm like oh yeah they host everyone there is a celebrity wherever you walk it's 400 people and
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not they celebrities or old billionaires there was a lot of walking cadavers Civil War
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veterans cavers there was walking cavers there was one foot in the graves well remember those you'd see those old old timey things and it's 1935
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and here these Civil War veterans are now marching down Time Square these gentlemen are now 119 but fought in the Civil War and they're in wheelchairs it's very sad and point but um you give
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him some Applause we had some seniors I would have been a senior I'm not I'm busting myself too go ahead yeah someone
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gave me a compliment they said I got old fast so I said oh I haven't I mean I got old and the truth is I got old the
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normal way but they just said it just seems very rapid I said okay thank you I don't like when people haven't seen you
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a while and they get a scared look on their face they don't say anything they just they just go casually holy [ __ ] they just go whoa I don't I like that
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other version you what happened okay so Blake and Ryan here's my theory two theories about this whole thing that people have asked me one it was funny
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two uh I think Taylor Swift did not come she came last time to the 40th but I think they're in a bit of a snit I hate to use these words but I think there's a
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little bit of minor friction possibly I don't know for sure oh yeah I I I should
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insert this before you go any further um and I know it's going to come off like a non secter but I watched the 50th with
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Taylor oh my God yeah I know we're just friends casual friends and I don't really go public with it but a lotch with you um well with Paul I think maybe
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there was some something there also there was some Kur fuffle because I guess Scarlet was married to Ryan
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Reynolds Scarlet Johansson and she was all over the show not all over Ryan Reynolds what a
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lovely human she was so fun she's a great SNL like borderline cast member and she was not all over Ry I didn't put that together for the longest time but no one actually gave a fat [ __ ] no one
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said anything she wasn't weird no one was weird about it but I read that and I'm like this is always written by
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someone that wasn't there but anyway we are having fun and here's a little nug you know Wall-E I love that Wally he always gets shout outs here I told him that he get shout outs a lot he's our Q
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card guy since day for for decades the the best the best and it's it's a sneakily really difficult job when he's timing those cards to the to the actor
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they're sneakily heavy in a side note when Tom Hanks gave a speech at the Lauren like toast oh the toast to Lauren
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the toast to Lauren Seth was funny Tina was extremely funny and then Tom Hanks got up and he goes this is going to be a long speech so and then he had Wall-E come out with the Q cards just in the
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middle of a bar and do the Q card so he could read that's a good joke yeah that's a good bit okay so WALL-E WALL-E
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gets uh not not tricked but he goes on a radio station in Australia you know I don't know how many press events Wall's doing the qard guy goes on a
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radio something it's hysterical but you know how it's like he's so sweet I they definitely want to get one answer from him so at the very end they go hey by the way what was with that Ryan Reynolds
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thing God just goes did he just make that up or was that an adlib or was it and he said oh he had a different line in the script and then he came up with
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that and well that's that's sort of arch type it's a classic line I guess we're going to see it yeah right I mean it's
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such a throw way but because of the situation here's what I saw let's see they were telling me that SNL's plan was
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not to have Ryan Reynolds poke fun at his wife's sh allegations but it was switch it up with a little improv I
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1,00% believe that qard Wally who has been doing the qard for SNL for the past qard on the Fifi Feb Nick show and he actually spilled the teeth um Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively been in the
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news a lot and Ryan Reynolds uh we know was that an improv or was it scripted he's little pacy that was actually we he had a different line in rehearsal and he
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pitched that to replace it so that was his idea to do it he pitched that they we wouldn't want to do anything to
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controversial unless unless they were in on it yeah that was that was his line that was his that was his idea to do
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right he said he wouldn't we wouldn't want anyone to do something that they had they weren't in on which is true
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we're not there to bamboozle a host or so he had to be aware the classic why would have you Hur when there's it was perfect great right and they didn't elaborate they just did it but when
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you're saying this the balini um Lively Extravaganza kind of was all over the show I texted Lauren afterwards you know wish I could have been there and in
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instead of talking about the show he just goes balini will Now counter suo I think that Lively will probably get a new attorney and I said but boy that that Tom Hanks was great and what what
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what about that monologue with Steve and he goes I don't know where Ron Reynolds
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is on this but certainly it really it was it's big at that 50th you know uh baldon's Meatball Shop is still
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open um but I will say baldino we've said it wrong literally every single time we're addings I I would like I'll say this right now if we're at if if he wants to come on and
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tell his I would love that we're the new [ __ ] Kiki boooo and po pop show in Australia n we're gonna put a shrimp on it babby Barbie babby I would say that
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it's also you know look being at the SNL thing and everyone sort of saying hey cool Ryan Reynolds and Blake are here it
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helps okay enough of them now I missed it so what did I miss what was the most emotional or F I watched the show um I did see Eddie Murphy people
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ask me if I'm tight with Eddie Murphy uh everything bad has evaporated I walked by him I saw him at something and then he was at Chris rocks thing I didn't talk to him but there's absolutely no
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anything anymore everyone was cool uh he was in sketches he was up beat the 40th
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remember he didn't do anything yeah uh try Mor impression was great and and then he did that black Jeopardy I was uh
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I had a great seat for that one I saw it hilarious good to see Eddie doing Eddie stuff like that was great at it I walked
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past him on the way into the show and he put his arm back and blocked me and so I
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had to say hi and give he was super cool dapped him up is too much lingo for you
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Dana what is the phrase water under the bridge who started that I maybe it was Billy Bridge or Stevie water but water
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under the bridge means that whole thing with you and Eddie is so over now you're
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friends I'm tearing up behind my cool right now we were friendly uh we should have taken a picture because it was fun to see him and then uh there was no weird Vibes at the show it was all good
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sketch of the night blink sketch of the night oh that's tough um I liked a lot of different things I liked Amy and Tina going am I am I being too political I
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lik Amy and Tina going into the audience and Q&A they're always funny to me when you see the script and it says audience
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Q&A and there's 35 celebrities listed in the cast that are that's so fun because
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pton Manning is doing one joke everyone flies in for one joke it's great and some hit really big
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I thought I thought the combo of love it's his joke which is funny that he's sitting at so far away he in the
00:11:50
American Girl Story store good hilarious and then he goes I'm not mad I'm just saying I just want to know why I think was the yeah so T are great Riders super
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like and then they come back and she said oh we gave that seat to Julie Lou's uh you know well I felt bad that I
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couldn't go because I think that Mike and I were supposed to do Wayne's World so I was glad and I thought that Linda Richmond the coffee talk woman came out
00:12:22
and really scored and we talked about it and I said Miles Teller was kind of nicel looking playing it very with them and they're the Long Island Amy and Maya
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and then Linda Richmond comes in like this neurotic like crazy person he's Landing all his hooks and they're
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playing it kind of straight they're trying to understand this crazy character so I thought that landed very
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nice so I was happy about that for letting yeah Mike got a good score in there you know it was good because it
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was uh and WW would have done great but it was fun to see that because the show was bloed out to about 320 320 yeah W
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would have done great I would have been really happy to do it but it couldn't make it yeah gu uh looks sickly I saw him the
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other day at the mall the g g Brooks no you're gu he's like oh my God he's just walking around he's at the comic book store he just got tubes man so leave him
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alone he's the guy alone you know what was one I would have edited out this is ballsy tape uh oh hot tape are you ready
00:13:31
for [ __ ] front headlines edit I would have lifted the Belushi at the end that just made me sad it made me sad and Paul follow it great because Tom Schiller is
00:13:45
was a great little filmmaker he did some cool stuff but in that moment yeah I felt a little sad and uh well first of
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all Bill Murray's there he's watching all his friends if we were there and we see people that we were super tight with
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and they're all passed away it just it's it's heavy for me and I'm not I wasn't didn't know them all and then it just
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makes the whole place go holy [ __ ] now that was a big famous video they shot for like short film Tom
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Schiller uh Tom Schiller Vision maybe the first or second or third season right yes yeah and it was cool and
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blushi was really good in it uh it just uh was sort of a left turn after scared straight and Debbie Downer every time I see it I'm happy and the reason I get so happy is that the sound effects start to
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change over time yeah and I want I actually wanted more I wanted a fog horn Chopper uh also uh I wanted to hear
00:14:49
birds coming in ah ah while they push into her just anything stup oh anything that that's great we always love to see that and um Rachel she's great uh she's
00:15:00
now what do you you think Chevy at the beginning because I know some of the people he was listing you know top 10
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update he did say in not any particular order oh you're talking about Bill Murray Bill Murray sorry did I say chvy
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oh Bill Murray not in any particular order Jeffy was on there but we saw our friend Dennis was on there oh oh on the uh upate update Bill Murray top update
00:15:25
guys my first Bill Murray story before I tell you that was they put you in the audience and you look at your placards
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you know during rehearsal you see where everyone's going to wind up sitting and you go oh that person's here oh they're coming and then I was over here I told
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you I was nowhere near you and then when I went to the show they they go your your place is different and it was front row next to Bill Murray and in front of uh Merl Street Marty sh I was like oh
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this is great and uh Brandy Carlile to my left so I go this is super fun and they do it and then Bill Murray's backstage but when we go out it's three minutes and they're like oh he's not out
00:16:01
there so bless his heart seat filler comes in they do a joke about Bill M to cut to him okay is the point of it and
00:16:09
the camera guy goes like this and he goes I see him on the headset he's like he's not there and they put the C I'm like oh what a bummer there's two people
00:16:16
there I would have actually sheepishly went up to with pen and paper and said excuse me could I get an autograph right
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that would have been Mill stre and Brandy Carlile those would have been two people I would I don't ever do this and
00:16:30
I don't want a picture I want a signature so I thought Merill Street was it was so fun to watch her in the ad abduction alien sketch with next to Kate
00:16:40
mcginn because she was having so much fun and when it ended you could see she was on a high because she's done
00:16:46
everything but has she done um never hosted never hosted yeah maybe Streep will now I guess her and Martin Short are uh friends
00:16:59
I we don't knows with Benny's I want to hang out Martin Short as much as I could
00:17:04
actually what if they are together fun because remember we all went to the store we all went to the comedy cell
00:17:09
that night and uh what a fun thing it's fun those two look like a blast well Martin I don't know her I just know she's a genius but she's also seems very real and Martin Short can go from
00:17:22
serious dramatic profound to funny uh in a Flash so if if you if you're at a party and you sit next to him then you're just happy he's not always on but
00:17:32
he can be on you know she seemed very light-hearted I and I love seeing Nicholson there uh that was very cool like a tear jerk like what a freaking
00:17:43
movie star ladies and gentlemen Adam Sandler ladies hey thank you well thank you Jack sorry I'm doing Sandler in his real voice not the and his song was
00:17:54
great and very emotional that teared me up six years Jan gave props to everyone got a standing ovation yeah the only standing know with our friend Sandman
00:18:06
just saying but it was emotional and and well written Dan booula on the keyboards
00:18:11
yeah of course Adam's right-hand man in music you know I do like about this whole thing Dana is aside bu is great I
00:18:18
didn't mean to cut you off there um when you see a host like Adam Driver who I don't know from Adam I don't know this
00:18:24
guy literally he's just a big star seems kind of quiet he just comes like everyone comes and just says hey if you want to put me in something if not I'll sit in the audience this will be a fun event and they go this is how it works
00:18:38
they write a sketch they wrote that New York musical sketch and they go hey Adam Driver you're here do you want to play a
00:18:44
hot dog he goes yeah yeah and puts on a hot dog costume goes out there Maya's a syringe I didn't figure out she was a syringe and I was in it it took me till
00:18:55
the very because I took a picture of her oh I never posted that one I should have Maya being in syring was so funny she's
00:19:00
backstage yeah it was a little dark but it those things are so much fun I love Nathan Lan my old buddy from cocaine and
00:19:07
vodka out cocaine and you know I'll just say this for inside baseball when you're
00:19:12
a movie star you're in your trailer most of the time you go out you do 20 sh takes or something it's so slow motion and then you go here and it's live and you're dressed like a hot dog it's just
00:19:23
a rush and everyone's laughing during your take instead of after when you're in a movie you not allowed to make any
00:19:29
noise yeah and everyone's high-fiving you and you're just running into people you don't even know and they're like hey I saw you in this yeah yeah so but he
00:19:36
was cool he was also a score I was telling you earlier when Julie Louise has her seeing eye dog the dog's blind
00:19:43
and she go he's getting weird vibes from Adam Driver next to him the energy in Adam driver's like this just staring just not playing it too big just staring off no that guy everyone says he's got a
00:19:56
weird V it's so funny uh look up it's all probably on Amazon Prime you can look up Ferrari he was so good in that
00:20:04
well he was ridiculous in that I mean it's it's a kind of a dark movie but that guy's brilliant so to see him do Live sketch I think he had a time of his
00:20:15
life you know cool dude uh we will wrap it up because we got the actual podcast but other than that Kevin CER was just
00:20:22
there at rehearsal just watching they wind up putting him in the audience just because he was coming to the show he
00:20:28
went rehearsal he was at Chris's uh so he sort he Fel F right into the mix and um yeah CER just looks cool he just always looks cool I don't know what he
00:20:41
look cool he look like someone from Young Guns he's just standing inside he's very comfortable like you can talk
00:20:46
to him and he's very nice but if no one's talking to him he's okay just being by himself just staring watching
00:20:52
oh if you talk to him so I don't people know this like he's an inventor he he loves movies don't get me wrong wrong
00:20:58
but he'll talk about he had stuff for when the uh Gulf of Mexico now the Gulf of America there was an oil spill and he
00:21:05
has technology to do that so he's like an inventor as well as a producer director Dan with Wolves was good go out out it was F it was fine yeah wolves
00:21:18
were not dancing I'm a movie reviewer it would be nothing without the Wolves okay that's it uh so
00:21:29
let's leave it at that and now we're going into the real podcast that we already did that we'll tell you about the rehear time now you this is like
00:21:35
sort of a Trippy one because now hear us talking and not before the actual 50th so this is a little Twilight Zone A little rod sery for you so don't get
00:21:47
thrown okay thanks and we will uh see you on the other half of this podcast God Save the Queen
00:21:55
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and [Music] Hotel okay so Dana I'm here at at a hotel let me guess Four Seasons no I'm not going to tell everyone I'm just going by the wall well
00:23:55
doesn't matter this yeah it doesn't matter it's over well I'm here during the SNL weekend and uh um I will walk
00:24:04
you through the steps and we're only on just full disclosure Saturday night is that what
00:24:11
it is and the show is Sunday night so this is airing Friday this is a little ahead but people will know I'm not giving spoilers because it's over
00:24:22
already right right and for me I had lingering effects from the flu cough and fatigue so I was told not to travel so I couldn't make it and but if
00:24:37
I had made it yeah I saw where you were sitting in the audience I was like CER yeah they don't
00:24:45
even put us we're not even near each other which is the worst thing well yeah isn't John love didn't we're past tense now didn't John litz and
00:24:57
Kevin sit together I we don't know it half the fun we were saying is looking where they put all the placards you're like holy [ __ ] this is going to be I was eating my Caesar salad and I realized I
00:25:10
was in Merill Street's seat but we'll show a picture of that I'll send the picture other and uh I so just now I got
00:25:20
back rehearsal I they put me in a line and a sketch so it is the longest sketch it's not The Californians was it no no I'm thinking of the 40th this is
00:25:33
melany and I'm like I don't even have to read it melany and Colin Jo wrote it I love it oh uh let me guess they did a
00:25:40
big Broadway show yep it's kind of it's singing yeah yeah that's he he did one when I was there in the Falls was very cool a lot of moving parts that I think a bus came in bone yangang came out it's
00:25:52
like oh yeah and Pete Davidson is always there at the beginning that's and I'm with Pete Davidson at the beginning
00:25:58
so we're we're by a hot dog cart and we're basically saying hey we're new to New York it's 1975 we're we're artists and we're excited to and John's like don't you
00:26:11
know that it's New York and you read the screen it's 1975 no one wants to be here
00:26:16
it's the city's trash at this point dangerous so we are trying to figure out he kind of walks us through he goes I'll let New York speak for itself and then you know someone comes out the hot dog
00:26:28
and yeah yeah I've seen them they're very entertaining and really really uh produce big big big big kind of yeah we're number we're over on the side and
00:26:40
I go don't squint us over here but then it moves to I think Maya and it takes up
00:26:46
multiple sets and space yeah you go us Maya Adam Driver think a lot of people can sing you know I think you can sing too I don't really sing so I'm I'm not not Maya can sing why I can sing a lot
00:26:59
of these girls Kristen wig is there I love she uh I never see her I never see her out so a lot of fun to see her she
00:27:08
sings um it's funny Scarlet Johansson just the most random group that's the fun of having people back like the 40th you just throw people in uh I think Billy Crystal's in it I think Nathan
00:27:21
Lane you know well that's the kind of sketch that you could really put a lot of people in it yeah it's
00:27:29
yeah everybody get you could just think of oh he'll do this she'll do that everyone gets to laugh and so uh so I
00:27:36
just ran home and just walked on here because they C our run through for our sketch was what was it four hours I think at least yeah and that's long for
00:27:48
a rehearsal four and a half so we got there I had to use Heidi Gardner's dressing room oh I got and when I got in there because you know there's a shortage yeah so I go in this dressing
00:28:02
room and there's all I go is this someone's dressing room they're like yeah Tides I was like well that's nice that she's cool I feel bad and then I
00:28:08
see a gift bag and there's also one for Ryan Reynolds and they're like oh he's using it right now but his sketch is
00:28:14
done so he and Blake are leaving and you take over now so if he comes back in he'll just grab his gift B so when I'm leaving of course I have to do a bid
00:28:26
he's signing something and I go behind him and go oh wait are you getting paid for
00:28:32
this and uh oh big laughs by the page desk and then uh and then said Hi and then we talked for a second and I went in and uh waited for our sketch but really fun rehearsal day did you use
00:28:46
your time in New York City around all these um talented famous people to pitch them coming on one of you know what I didn't because I know it's so awkward
00:29:02
it's so awkward but a lot of people have seen it a lot of people say we saw it you know and they listen to it or
00:29:07
whatever everyone's very cool you know one of the cool things was when I was waiting to go go on way I saw just Kevin Cosner standing in adhes
00:29:19
watching and so naturally I just go chat him up but he's just like yeah I'm not in the show I'm just checking it out said hey if you need if Yellowstone needs a punch up we get some big [ __ ]
00:29:31
laughs in there got some big set pieces we can do yeah he's uh he's pretty cool I'll tell you a little one minute story so sounds like a while back I was doing
00:29:42
h i Bob Costa charity event in St Louis for whatever reason I don't demand anything but I was doing a corporate in Texas and Bob cus provided a private jet
00:29:55
for me uh to St Louis great and then it was going to take me home so then we do the show and Cosner's
00:30:03
there with his band and he's really good he's like a country W I go your songs it came off
00:30:10
was catchy songs he goes catchy he thought maybe it was a disc catchy what do you mean catchy well catchy is good
00:30:15
that's the Beatles are but then we're at the the after thing we're at the table having fun talking and stuff and uh it
00:30:22
came out that I have a private jet was a citation 10 brand new taking me back at
00:30:27
that point I was living in the Bay area so I said you should jump on yeah for sure so for about two hours he was
00:30:34
coming on the jet it was going to be really fun hanging out oh my God how fun and then the guy came over whatever
00:30:40
somebody came over and said oh sorry the jet can't drop you off in Napa California and then take Kevin to Santa Barbara why not then it was a
00:30:53
big so but then this is the part where and I was like saying yeah but we could drop them all you I was just kind of embarrassed in a way why do I have a Kevin I and then he was so cool about it
00:31:08
oh this doesn't matter it's fine yeah he was just and not even for one second one millisecond did he go what
00:31:16
that guy get in a jet and I'm not so anyway that's a chiz story right there oh yeah I saw a clip of Y the other day
00:31:22
he goes hey rip hire someone here and don't hire some [ __ ] like okay and then they hire a girl that's like sort of a redneck girl that's the only clip I do saw there is
00:31:35
no more alpha male show and it was a sleeper it built the whole Taylor Sheridan Empire now we have land man but
00:31:44
when I first started watching Yellowstone because I I love that I was bullied as you know I was a little kid so I love the idea you and me are gonna
00:31:51
tussle you want to throw down you come on you know every guy wants to beat the [ __ ] out of someone else for just
00:31:57
looking yeah I love talking to me I'll talk back to you with my fist I'll beat your
00:32:03
[ __ ] ass yeah he has a cool Gruff voice in it um love CER I love we're talking about CER the only guy that is
00:32:09
not in the show but he is cool and everyone needs to understand it's a really fun to see him in the real world
00:32:15
I'm gonna do a Dana and hold this hey folks what's going on little crowd work yeah hey folks you tried theal you guys
00:32:23
you guys married here's what I do when I do crowd work I go they always have shitty appetite so I go to a couple I go
00:32:29
what you guys uh have their um chili bites and they're like no I let them answer what' you guys have and they're like oh hot dog mini wieners and I go no
00:32:41
that's not a good one hey what' you guys have there I'll do it to you Dana and then you say um what do I
00:32:47
say you say pizza Well normally they're having pizza bread or something like that yeah yeah say pizza bread hey you
00:32:55
guys you guys together yep say yes yep yes uh what do you what are you guys having uh pizza bread oh anniversary or
00:33:03
something anyway then I walk over here so the joke is for a sh for an anniversary they're just having pizza bread it's not and I look around I go what do you have a big pretzel oh
00:33:14
anniversary birthday or something my big my goto is this I think it was great I just want to know if you use this joke you're going back to the and I will whenever you whatever you
00:33:27
okay it changed it changed Heckler heckles right so Heckle me hey I'm Dana Carvey and what's going on hey oh hey oh bring on the last guy hey man hey man I
00:33:41
don't come to Jack In The Box and bother you when you're working God Applause it would kill and
00:33:49
you know what the the 2025 one is yeah I don't come to your job and slap the dick out of your mouth your mouth
00:33:59
while you're you know that one that always kills little xrated for me though yeah it's a little Dana you're you can
00:34:06
work clean you and Nate batsi no Nate is uh perfectly clean oh I will tell you one more story before we get into it I so I land I run into
00:34:20
Anna Ana Taylor Joy on the on the plane on the flight yeah she was on the flight with her husband cool dude I love love
00:34:27
her I uh very cool to see some like that dressed like a London like suede shorts
00:34:34
or something she looked great anyway so um blah blah blah go eat by myself when I land and you know there's nothing the first night so Chris uh Rock talked
00:34:46
about maybe we'll do a set or we'll do go do stand up or something want so I get there by myself I eat a
00:34:52
Houston's I know it's not it's not new yorky enough yeah yeah but when I was in Houston night at Manhattan good night
00:35:02
so try the vi so I go uh so Nate bratti is in town and I forgotti that he was here and he said uh Nate forgi forgi is
00:35:13
he a Nazi he's not but it Rhymes you got if it Rhymes you gotta say exactly it's
00:35:18
funny so so then uh Nate says I'm at this Comedy Club you want to go do a set and I said yeah what about the comedy seller
00:35:29
and he said we'll go there next so I met him we drove the comedy seller on the way Rock is in bed it's not that late
00:35:36
but he goes I'm just laying around I go you want to come out if you go to the seller I will and I
00:35:42
go okay so we go to the seller so he's almost asleep he's in pajamas and if he goes to a certain Comedy Club he gets up gets off it's only it's like 10:30 so he puts on this beanie comes down so then
00:35:54
we go and you know you have to bump everybody and that's the hard part so Leslie Jones is on I think so they
00:36:00
already have a good lineup mhm and then I go Nate why don't you go up bring me up I'll bring Chris up because he so you're gonna follow Nate there's no winning Leslie's hard to follow Nate
00:36:13
will [ __ ] Leslie's hard to follow she's a yeah she's she's a pistol she's a she goes she goes I did your favorite crowd
00:36:21
work go oh yeah when she was on the podcast we talked about crowd work people that are civilians quick insert
00:36:28
and I talked some people today they think crowd work is the bravest hardest thing any standup could do they just
00:36:35
think could you would you ever I saw this guy Matt R he did his whole thing was crowd work that was amazing do you think you could do that too or you'd be
00:36:46
too scared well you don't have to write any material and you record five shows Matt
00:36:52
is great at crowd work but it is kind of nice material is hard go ahead with your story yeah so you're down at the seller
00:36:59
you you're following yeah I'm not a crowdwork guy but I it's it's actually too hard for me I I I would get lost you
00:37:05
know you got to go this couple was here and I why don't you go home with them and you know if you really are in that Vibe it [ __ ] kills it's great so
00:37:13
anyway and so this is all one show right so I go oh they're getting a pretty good show and then they go oh are you kidding
00:37:20
you know who was just on before you that popped in melany Steve Martin Martin Short so it went those three last and
00:37:27
then us three and that's just one show okay hold on you're blowing my mind are you saying that Steve Martin got up and
00:37:33
did stand up at the seller yeah practice Stu with Martin and then and then Marty
00:37:38
got up with him oh with Marty yeah they said he got up alone I saw a picture of him alone up there oh I see you think okay all right well seeing Steve Martin
00:37:49
do in a club would be you know the end all and be all CU growing up with Steve Martin and listening to albums knowing every move from the albums picturing it just
00:38:01
so cool uh I just reread his book it's the second time I read oh right you were talking about that yeah so uh it's called scientist standing up life what
00:38:14
is it called little bit of his childhood but basically him starting out in Disneyland and then nottsbury Farm was
00:38:20
he a magician or something yeah magician and magician comedian and then eventually comedian are making deconstructing standup and they show you in the book it's kind of cool his
00:38:32
notebook and his notes oh wow and he wrote in there when the tricks don't work it's funnier so like being a bad
00:38:41
musician or sorry magician uh yeah so it's kind of it's really an interesting look into the Mind well listen Steve Martin can't do any better Martin Short
00:38:52
just picture those Crushers the melany got and then you got lesli NE and then you wals in there
00:38:58
and I and then Little David then you come in and Crush you know how it is they always give you big Applause they
00:39:04
go crazy and then you start talking like what the [ __ ] I hate that did they give you like let's keep this going this
00:39:11
guy's everywhere one of the funny did they give you the big booming intro well it was Nate it was Nate so he was pretty
00:39:17
cool about it then oh he introduced you with Chris I was just like okay I'm done well here's Chris Rock so they go crazy
00:39:23
but Chris goes lower your expectations CU there's really almost no way you can try new material and I wasn't ready I've been on the movie so much that I haven't really done it so I'm like wait I got a
00:39:35
little buzzed at dinner and I'm like I don't want to go on then I got there and I go I'll do a couple here's the best joke of the night for me right this is
00:39:41
what I want to hear you this is to the manager before I go on unfortunately it's obviously not on stage was I but now it's gonna be beam out on this
00:39:54
podcast go ahead yes this is a joke that will be funny to comedians they said uh okay so Nate's
00:40:02
bringing you up you bring up Chris I go great I go how long's Nate doing they go about 10 they go how long you going to
00:40:08
do I go I'll do about 12 14 and they go okay when do when do you want the light I go give me the light at 30 because obviously every comic just
00:40:20
stays forever but they act like they're not going to go on for a long time I know if the crowd's Hop let me ask you a
00:40:25
question this is inside baseball alert you can put up a Chiron Greg okay I don't like to get a light because I
00:40:33
never see the light go on I'm just not looking in the right place so at one point I look up and the
00:40:41
lights on and I wonder how long has it been on I get it yep and have I gone over and didn't know it so then I panic I get quiet I drop the mic and I kind of slump off and it's like you know One
00:40:54
Clap yeah if you see if they say for more inside baseball if they say we'll give you the light you're headlining right we'll give you the light at 45 to 50
00:41:06
Okay and like you said you're know you know you don't watch on you're like I feel like it's time and then finally you
00:41:13
see like a flicker guy's got a candle I'm like wait I should have said what's the light because usually it's a flashlight directly in your eyes going pow pow or just turned on on guy let a
00:41:24
can or you so there someone's like got his watch on he's blinking it one time at a club and I'm like he goes I gave
00:41:30
you the light I go that was the light I thought Apple watch yeah I was like I thought 400 feet away yeah I'm like we
00:41:38
got to figure out what the light is because like you said I did a corpit and they said do this much and there was no time on this there's supposed to be a timer on the stage like a small clock
00:41:50
over here and then out don't know my watch on now I'm just [ __ ] freeballing and raw
00:41:55
dogging and uh I'm like I think I this is my act this is about the time but you go one minute under they can say didn't do your time per the contract okay here's another inside
00:42:06
baseball alert uh they ask you sometimes at corporate dates they got a big clock
00:42:12
yeah you want it to go from zero to 60 or 60 counting down great one and when it's counting down I I get kind of nervous of weird uh you know why because
00:42:25
I can't remember which way I said yeah so it says 22 minutes I go wait yeah have I been on and then I go how much more is 20 I say just count it up so I know when it gets to 50 or 60 I'm done
00:42:38
but yeah don't don't do any math counting down is rough because I can't tell how much I I want I had one gig re
00:42:45
fairly recently Casino maybe 1,500 people they're packed I a friend was with me opening Larry Bubbles Brown we go backstage nobody we go up the stairs to the nobody we
00:43:01
look out the audience Hub bub bub bub it's 8 o'clock ready for the show nobody what the [ __ ] is going on hello is
00:43:08
anybody what do we just start do we start nobody and then we see it up these stairs behind this thing this vague light there's a guy sitting up there a silhouette of a guy so we go so we climb
00:43:20
up the stairs we sort of knock on the window and he's just like surfing the web looking over his shoulder oh what is
00:43:27
oh okay starting any time it's like 15 minutes late that's it only happened once it was very interesting they even
00:43:33
let the audience in yet no the audience is in just talking just going 8 10 but but the mic wasn't on Backstage and nobody was there just nobody nobody backstage so this is the terrifying part
00:43:45
for you people out there com I'm gonna try to stand up this is the stuff that can happen
00:43:51
[Music] I was thinking of those uh oh well I was going to tell you about the the the
00:44:04
government spending that's in the news and uh how I saw Kennedy our boy going through it and it's all it's it's funny anyway and then he he always acts so
00:44:18
casual and greatest show on Tel it's like Andy Griffith from Matt lives you can't even believe he's a senator the a Shu Senator
00:44:30
a Shucks he's shuffling papers and everything is slow motion and really clear this is exactly what he said it's
00:44:36
not a bit he goes my friends on the other side of the aisle this about taxes always ask who's G to pay more who's G to pay more but
00:44:50
they never ask where the hell did the money go to your words not mine so he is so funny listing off all these agencies in all
00:45:05
these quirky expenses I read through this and said can I have a puke bucket he literally said that I need a puke bucket because this is uh 12.6 million on
00:45:22
finding a cure for monkeys with dandruff with dandruff in Indonesia $5 million to find out whether frogs like
00:45:38
the way they look excuse me do frogs even see can did they is it for mirors because I can get you a better deal on a mirror this is from the nir National Institute of
00:45:51
research these are real $800,000 do dogs think we should all walk on fours 800,000 6.9 million our dogs bothered
00:46:08
when we pet them 1.5 million dollars do red ants know their red why why do ants have to know the color 1.2 billion that's a b uh for to
00:46:27
find out are blue balls a real ailment or is it just a hoax the funniest part is the specifity of the number 2 it seems real 2.7 billion
00:46:43
dollar to the NRI is an orgasm similar to a sneeze $2.8 billion and I hate to pull the plug cuz you you might have almost figured that
00:46:57
one out at this point but you didn't get there yet we're still paying we have to escalate $6 billion to find out if the
00:47:06
name pickup truck encourages casual sex and it 72 am I reading this right 81 billion to find out if Miley Cyrus is
00:47:25
still talking to her dad cuz he's a drinker okay here's the brother one can we call her $3200 to the nir yeah why do teenage
00:47:41
girls say the word like so much like we went there like we did that $3,200 of taxpayer money 1.6 billion to find
00:47:55
out if you ghost someone it's related to the Paranormal now this feels like a waste
00:48:07
$420,000 taxpayer money I like to mix it up yeah I like it the man who invented the idea of calling someone being assaulted mugged was actually drinking
00:48:19
out of a mug when he thought of that term 427 let let me get this straight $182 so David Spade can get some more crowd
00:48:38
work that's all it takes give him more $158 to pay people on the street to remember in the moment what was the name
00:48:54
of David Spade's last name flick special oh [ __ ] I don't have anymore I can't think no that was a good good one to go with we'll they'll make it funny
00:49:07
well I you know it's hard to exaggerate this is just for our audience I mean we know that some of these you
00:49:15
know uh USA a thing were just so ridiculous so I just thought the only way to escalate it is just go to like what but they're not that much of exaggeration no with some of these
00:49:29
things so there you go folks try to laugh fog testicles he really gets into things it's the average circumference of a frog
00:49:41
testicle circum $68 million your taxpayer money have we found this out yet is it that much of a conundrum will life go on if we don't
00:49:55
know give me my puke bucket I like the puke bucket it is funny he goes we spend it's the bestest
00:50:03
when he goes we spend 82 billion helping countries that hate us can we spend nothing and they'll still hate us I know all this stuff is slow motion country
00:50:16
logic we we give away1 trillion dollar to organizations that want to blow up England just so Trump can't call it the red R red white and blue land you know
00:50:36
that's the name they actually want for green no yeah we're gonna call white and blue Land We can brainstorm a better
00:50:43
that's I mean Gulf Of America it's a little hacky but I'll take it yeah but uh but red white and blueland is really
00:50:50
like third grade come on it's hard to say red right blue R red right like s I I can't believe for all those years I said s live I called it even more America so
00:51:03
that was my name for how about charge for it and call it America plus like they do on Apple Plus
00:51:12
57,000 indu Native Americans from Greenland occupy they don't even have a Costco yeah they live in a very
00:51:25
primitive manner we can make them Millionaires and perhaps they do our bidding yeah okay let's go to some stor or something and then um before got to
00:51:37
take a shower because I'm like so gross are you going what we talk about there's something for Lauren tonight but it's
00:51:42
also Rock's birthday so it's his 60th birthday so yeah I Heather make sure I go grab my card from Thrifty I'll go by CVS okay hang
00:51:57
violent diarrhea bug is dubbed the Ferrari of viruses why would you call the Ferrari well that would be good why would you call it the Ferrari
00:52:08
this is a CDC you would say it's not violent it's when I think of a Ferrari I think of
00:52:14
fast the speediest of viruses the speed of your poop going through your body is that what they mean hitting all the
00:52:22
turns well we're we're still back with Ken we're to figure out what to call the current diarrhea yeah for our I don't know I I
00:52:35
have nothing further your honor did you know what I read yesterday that sounds fake I don't even I don't even know what it sounds like they go do you know what
00:52:41
Co stands for and the coov covid-19 oh we can figure it out look it up Heather because but they go what's the 19 stand for and they go
00:52:57
AI first letter is one I is the ninth letter or something and I was like and they're like woo and you know on on Instagram they have music
00:53:08
like like they have scary music under it I'm like I don't know if I'm scared I don't get why that's
00:53:14
scary they said Co is AI I'm like well I don't know about that it sounds kind of
00:53:20
scary it doesn't really mean anything the SARS Co SARS made it seem more dark oh they say Corona virus that's C and the v a Corona virus h
00:53:34
u the D is hang on here comes Heather with to the rescue it's not that riveting but okay
00:53:41
we'll go to the next story anyway [Music] um the one that still kind of denotes really hard laugh for me is still the
00:53:58
face tilted with the tears coming out of it you know that one and then tears laugh laughing yeah you get three of those you're still happy but you know I mean they have the straight one with
00:54:11
tears they have Smiley right but the Tilted that's a full but isn't it a little weird seure
00:54:19
when you know what you said or what you typed wasn't really that funny and you get like 10 like that's you know people
00:54:26
are faking it yeah fakers they write back LOLOLOL i' say LOLOL as a joke of how stupid it it's like I'll write something to someone then I put my own LOLOL on it like I'm like would you
00:54:39
rather get multiple lol's or 15 Haws back toback I know there was a study on this for 4.8 billion we found that people would
00:54:53
rather get just an LOL I would say many people your experience not mine would rather have multiple Haws because that takes more energy to do
00:55:06
multiple H H ha ha now here's a trick I do and I've probably done it to you I text you something and no one says
00:55:13
anything so I put a haha on mine and so someone might accidentally think oh someone thought that was funny and they're like oh it was Spade he did it on his own I did this once to someone
00:55:25
just for fun that everything they said even if it was straight I would just put a haha on it I know it's to and they
00:55:32
thought I was crazy kept going yeah so we me at the movie theater haha some people put LOL just awkwardly and it makes no sense and it makes me nervous
00:55:42
all right so I'll see at the movies like okay LOL and I'm like what's or heart seems a little too
00:55:49
emotional sometimes what's a gry heart a gry heart I have no idea Heather gry heart if a girl writes sends a gray heart what's purple what's y yellow is sympathy and
00:56:03
Roses it is I don't know how with d in no she's still working on what Co means Corona virus disease Corona virus disease so where did they get the
00:56:16
V virus oh oh okay for virus Co disease news flash the flu that I got influenza A way worse
00:56:30
than co co co bomb this I had when I had Co I had it twice and it was not that big a deal if you didn't tell me as a as a National Emergency I wouldn't have noticed gray
00:56:42
one there's gray you just had it white heart represents love support I'm I'm doing those all wrong fascinating the blue one means I have
00:56:55
blue walls right right yeah okay next one what company offers 200 AI company offers 200,000 for rights to your face and voice on their robots forever would
00:57:07
you do it no not enough man how about 20 million but what if you're a normal person would you say oh a regular person they just like they just like but then they can have your digital
00:57:20
copy having pornographic sex with a giraffe I mean what do you mean no we not going to tell you anymore just you want the money or not jeez this is a toughy this a tough
00:57:33
one I think most people would say yes they don't give a [ __ ] 200 Grand to do nothing um let's look in the comments net oh no nothing's ever net that's the
00:57:46
thing when people go how much you make net I go well no one ever is paying you net well you're paying net whenever you
00:57:53
pay someone in cash people love cash and that is net net who are you [ __ ] this
00:58:00
guy's net Netanyahu over here because you say you wanted Nets they call you Netanyahu okay that's pretty good uh they like a Dennis Miller joke they say
00:58:13
you want Nets they think you're like a amateur tennis player you this guy's got more Nets than yeah all right one more let's see what else just having a banana having a
00:58:25
banana in the middle cuz I'm dying mhm okay don't play this yet this isn't a good example but I whenever I see
00:58:32
pranksters on my page making people look stupid throwing like a ball in their head and then look oh who threw that
00:58:39
prankster's life is I look cool you look stupid I make money from it I don't love
00:58:48
that equation Dana so this one is just a page of pranksters where it doesn't work
00:58:54
right here's one example which way you going which way you which you I hate to say it's funny
00:59:05
but what is the joke chill it's a prank it's a prank we got a prank and they always say it's a prank like anyone
00:59:11
cares it's a prank it's a prank it's a prank camera we got camera right there we got camera well then I feel like is this a prank see the camera right there they
00:59:23
always go to like gang bangers why would you trip what are you [ __ ] doing here and everyone's like what' you say and
00:59:29
then they go hey it's a prank but these guys will either I've seen two guns drawn yeah he the guy could have broke
00:59:36
his nose right he doesn't they don't think it through they just go this will be so great if the guy goes hey but a
00:59:42
lot of people just go I'll knock you out you're trying to start [ __ ] people have hard days they don't need well you're
00:59:48
more trustworthy than I am um not I'm not saying you're gullible but I believe the prank was actually the guy who got tripped was actually in on the prank
01:00:00
well usually the ones I've seen they connect when they hit where it's I'd have to see that again if to see because the C camera was behind him if they knew it was coming Dana are they trying to
01:00:12
trick me that's scary I would want to do if I did it at Johnny Knoxville and other people have done it where you're just in prosthetic makeup and you're like an old man or something asking for
01:00:24
directions or something like he does that and he had his nuts out of his shorts as an old man and he was going to
01:00:30
outdoor patios and he' walk by slowly and he'd graze it against their leg or table and people go what now that was
01:00:36
funny now that was hilarious and that's what you call a prank because you know what he's not an old man he's a very
01:00:43
young man but no one's getting mad because they think he's an old man so no one's gonna beat him up but exactly it's
01:00:48
a risky Biz all right another one M okay I don't know what this is people cannot always be trusted this will bomb let's try why you
01:01:02
can't always trust people once Sony organized a focus group with their customers to decide the best color for
01:01:09
their new Walkman to make its launch as successful as possible some voted for red others for blue but the yellow Walkman got the most votes end of the
01:01:20
survey Sony thanked everyone and told them they could choose a Walkman in any of the six colors they had just voted on and guess what most people pick the black one yep black so everyone said
01:01:34
yellows their most popular and then when push come to shove they got the free one and chose a different color well I don't
01:01:39
they're like I don't want yellow but I think that's what people would like oh okay and then they go but it worked
01:01:46
makes me kind of nostalgic you know when walkman's came in or the first iPod and it was so so primitive you could upload
01:01:53
a thousand songs on it the the LOI world there's a little bit of Boomer Nostalgia
01:01:58
for it you know people don't realize a th on an iPod Shuffle was bananas because you could only have an album with like six eight 10 songs and you go wait all and that was this big or a CD
01:02:10
and you go all I don't even know how it works we had a tech guy come over our house this is like 2003 or something and he's doing stuff and he's really nice
01:02:21
guy he's actually a magician he did all these tricks for us and then he kind of goes um
01:02:26
do you like do you like Apple products because I really I really like them I'm I'm that's the only stock iy invest in
01:02:32
I'm not a stock guy he was just being sincere it was casual conversation but I I just buy Apple stock because I like
01:02:39
their products and um you left and I just said [ __ ] that guy with his Apple stock [ __ ] yeah he's had an attitude and now he owns part of uh the Carolinas
01:02:56
and uh two islands in the Caribbean it's one of those uh one of those things missed it by that much I missed it by I got into Apple during rules engagement
01:03:07
me and Oliver Hudson and then I got out I can't always sit in everything even I buy a car like an old car is kind of fun
01:03:14
but the fun is buying and selling them and so you drive around you have your fun then you go all right I want a different one to play with it's kind of
01:03:20
fun uh expensive hobby but you can always sell them for more most if you have a good one that's super high
01:03:26
quality yeah then you can always usually it's a push or you make a little well I'll take a push you just got something
01:03:32
fun for right now what would be a surprising car from the 60s that goes for a lot of money oh those Hemi cudas are a lot of money they're over a million uh what
01:03:45
about a Chevy and Pala perfect condition no I mean they they go for it's just it's the Rarity usually so the bigger the engine the more options they have
01:03:56
the color of the paint they really cool stuff so I still like a lot I like old 702 trucks now so now here I am on Instagram going talking to these truck
01:04:08
guys going what she got under the hood I like that old patina paint green or beat
01:04:14
up blue or black and I wouldn't mind that where what am I hauling but you know I like them they're cool everybody in my neighborhood Boomer flashback had a Volkswagen bug and a friend of mine
01:04:26
got a vintage one that was just in a garage just untouched like a 67 red Volkswagen Bug they're kind of nostalgic
01:04:34
you know the shape is a big deal like how good a shape they're in just like coin collecting I used to do nerd
01:04:42
alert 1916 D merury Dime beautifully uncirculated condition my brother Brad Bas scon talks like this he was a real coin collector and a science type kid so we had this fabulous coin collection
01:04:57
with dimes and nickels and C you know and so Scott and I we wanted some candy it was Saturday and we need money we
01:05:04
couldn't we didn't have any money so we went into his room found his coin collection and took all shut the [ __ ] up
01:05:10
and put them in a machine down by the the puppet Hound to get candy out of it and someone found those coins later and it make made the local paper oh
01:05:21
1955 double D buffalo nickel that's right there and we got but we got some uh you know Jaw Breakers with that you know oh jawbreakers kind of su played
01:05:33
[ __ ] asteroids bing bing played played pong at a pizza part yeah something like that it was one little thing going back and forth that was great pong was great yeah yeah uh I
01:05:50
did see Michael Myers today says hi to you um everyone says hi of course we've been
01:05:57
yeah that show last night I'll just wrap up by saying that the music show last night was really fun mhm I didn't know
01:06:03
what it would be like uh I came in during Miley who I love and I missed I just saw the end CU I was late I didn't get to do the Press line or anything and then um but they had every you know they
01:06:13
had will frell and anagas there doing their thing uh that I love those two characters they were singing Kendrick yeah uh it was great they had Lauren Hill who I'd never seen anywhere
01:06:26
never seen her anywhere yeah um they you know a lot of people what I noticed on the SAT Night Live Concert was people went for it like Jack White
01:06:38
really went for it and Brandy carile is like kind of Otherworldly and Gaga is obviously as good as you can sing Gaga doing Dick in a Box was really funny that was funny but yeah everyone really
01:06:53
man Eddie veter incredible I mean they all really well Petty doing Tom Petty was great commed then he was gonna be
01:07:00
like he played a pirate in this little sketch thing quickie but everybody was sort of up for anything it was really
01:07:06
fun there's a lot more comedians up there doing sketches and bits than I thought and I did yeah and yeah it was
01:07:15
it was just fun to see I thought it was two hours so I left and it was another hour and a
01:07:20
half uh yeah post Malone with Nirvana yeah Adam introduced that you know you just uh Kirk Cain and
01:07:31
Nirvana as time goes on just get shinier and brighter where you just go that was
01:07:36
a moment those chord changes and those lyrics they just sort of it was grunge but it just reinvented it a little bit of John lennin influence or something but that uh Nirvana was
01:07:50
uh huge and it was pul Malone filled those shoes as best he could he was amazing really really tough yeah look it's super fun to see I watched a clip this morning um I will tell you Sarah
01:08:03
Sherman was in that thing with me today and she was like I'll come on with you guys tonight but we didn't finish in
01:08:08
time and she had to get back home to get on to do it so maybe she'll come on next week when it's a little slower uh CU she
01:08:15
wanted to give us all the Deets and I saw Merill stre I told you I sat in her chair so she's doing something tonight which tomorrow which would be great it'll be fun I don't know what the proba
01:08:25
it just should be funny and uh let's talk about it again well it's already next week it'll
01:08:32
be a week after that so it's okay and uh good to see you I will check in with you
01:08:39
later and uh I'll take a shower because everyone's complaining um have fun whatever party
01:08:44
you choose to go to yeah tonight's pretty mellow must be nice to have you dance Cod full I know I'm Bor you know
01:08:51
La is I don't do too much so it's fun to have a couple things to do but it gets a
01:08:56
little bit of a grind we had a late dinner last night it was fun oh we saw Paul McCartney running
01:09:02
around the stage today too he's running around just sitting in the audience I guess he has something but of course you
01:09:08
walked by and go oh my God damn uh right up there is the most famous guy on on the planet right now I I feel like he's up there I mean Keith Richards I saw his name in a sketch so I'm like I don't
01:09:21
even know what he's doing he was not there but I'm like I just love that he's in a sketch maybe he's doing a cutaway
01:09:26
he's doing MH a everyone's pretty game so good deal um all right I will hit you later thanks H up later thanks Miss enjoy enjoy yourself you know where to find
01:09:40
me this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna wife sperman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it
01:09:55
[Music]