00:00:00
I like stories. Oh, look who it is. Hey, man. I'm a witness protection right now,
00:00:05
but I'm sorry I created all this. >> What a Nick's having a gas. What? She's
00:00:14
having egg. >> Cuz he's like, "Well, when you come home to me, you're like a dial tone. Is that
00:00:19
why they said put a turkey wiener on you?" And he goes, "No, I want to do it
00:00:22
in trigger." Ah, okay. >> That's Does that make sense? >> That's his wiener. Just a couple.
00:00:32
>> I try to go festive sometimes. That's what this is about. >> Oh, your your um
00:00:37
>> cheerful. >> That shirt? >> My shirt? Yeah. >> Is that Is that what it's reading?
00:00:42
>> I think so. I got a blue one and that's exact same size. Put it through the
00:00:47
dryer. It's twice as big. What the [ __ ] You know, >> I I got clowned last night. night I went
00:00:53
to the comedy store and all the comics, especially the female ones, like you have the worst shoe game.
00:00:59
>> It was really embarrassing. They all were like trashing my shoes. >> Your shoes?
00:01:03
>> Yeah. >> So, they're looking down at your shoes. >> The worst part is it's true. And they
00:01:07
go, "And those army pants are from the Gap." And I was like, "No, they're not."
00:01:11
And of course they are because Dana had them on and I said they were cool and I went and got them.
00:01:16
>> They're khakis. But let me tell you this, like I, you know, our podcast with
00:01:22
Marcelo that's out now. >> Oh, yeah. The one with Marcelo. Yeah. >> I posted a thing of the three of us and
00:01:29
then I saw you guys and I said, "It's me. Me and the my van or the Vanilla
00:01:34
Boys because you guys look like you're in a singing group with your sweats."
00:01:38
>> Oh, me and Marcelo. >> Yellow and white. The Vanilla Boys. >> Oh, we were?
00:01:42
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. We He did a set last night. He stayed in town a day and so we went to
00:01:49
dinner last night and then I went and got trounced by everyone about my shoes. It was real shoe gate. I walked out of
00:01:55
there like this. I was driving home like this. >> Did you go on stage with a little bit of
00:02:00
edge to you or they ridiculed you? Ridiculed you after >> it was I saw Whitney backstage. Whitney
00:02:09
looks great by the way. I saw Whitney. She had >> Why does Whitney not look great? I know
00:02:13
Whitney is looks just a great >> she looks like a model. >> I Well, Marcelo came with us over there
00:02:18
and then >> I said let they'll just let him jump on and >> and he felt where he didn't want to
00:02:24
bump. So it was Whitney, it was Jim Norton, >> I think Santino, >> and then I think he went on Robbie
00:02:33
Hoffman. >> Andy Andy Santino. >> Andy who's who's a friend of the show.
00:02:40
friend of the >> Yeah, we will say say that Marcelo was funny on the show on the podcast up now.
00:02:48
>> Yeah, he's got he's got the goods, man. I He's got a likability,
00:02:52
you know, and I've talked to two people say whenever you see him, I saw him at
00:02:56
the Grammys, you can't take your eyes off of him. >> Yeah. >> It's like that Frankie uh Avalon song.
00:03:03
Who was that? >> Yeah. The Four Seasons. >> Four Seasons. Can't take my No, but he's
00:03:08
cool. Uh, I root for him. He was very sweet with us at the end of the show, you know, but Oh, he's very nice.
00:03:14
>> Well, it's it's the idea. I did meet along the way bitter comedians, even
00:03:20
successful ones that kind of you could tell had an edge and didn't want mad at
00:03:25
you just for being young, you know? It's like so stupid. So, he's surprised. We
00:03:31
root for him. >> Yeah, he was he was fun on the show. He also brought it. He was fun and did
00:03:36
jokes. He kept doing Sebastian which was hysterical. >> Yes. He had a gear I hadn't seen that
00:03:42
swallowing words. And as someone who does voices I love those little tiny addendums that little escalation.
00:03:50
>> Sebastian's usually like my Uber drivers here. Are you gak but but Marcelo is
00:03:57
doing the other way going I dinner. >> Yeah. >> My wife comes in. >> He does that wind up before it goes big.
00:04:06
It's funny. >> So, everybody's honking now. >> Like you barely can hear what he says.
00:04:13
>> I like when you go, I'm clipping my toail. >> That clipping the to nails. See,
00:04:21
toenails is a great word for Sebastian. >> And he such a compliment to Sebastian.
00:04:27
>> Yeah. >> That he's got this rhythm that is so freaking infectious. I mean, the only
00:04:34
guy that's a bigger fan than us is Sebastian is this guy. Oh, that was good.
00:04:42
That matches you. Here's my uninspiring delivery. Dogs are funny. >> Your thing. I know. Isn't it kind of
00:04:51
like, "Hey, buddy." I mean, what is Do you have a catchphrase? >> No one knows what it is. Rack them. I
00:04:56
did say rackom the other night >> on stage >> and all the fly the wall people were
00:05:01
like >> you should do a character that says rackom after every joke >> with a little sound of the biller ball
00:05:11
going >> I said one last night I said uh I said the Epstein vials came out three million
00:05:17
emails it was so much to go through I said that was a busy boy like he's got
00:05:22
some 16-year-old girl laying on the hammock going come on and he's Hang on. I got to fire off another 15,000 emails
00:05:28
before midnight. >> I know. >> I'm on a schedule. I'm pacing out.
00:05:32
Rackom. >> That was pretty good. Rackom. I uh I have And I was judging the 3 million and
00:05:38
then I looked at my Gmail account. I have 54,000 emails. >> Oh, I bet. >> Because I never go through and erase
00:05:48
anything just in case. There's a little court case. But I did have a friend check did AI with the Epstein files and
00:05:55
he he said you're not in it. >> You can go on Jmail or some weird Oh, I'm not in it or you?
00:06:01
>> I'm not in it. I'll I'll check for you if you want. >> Oh no, you don't have to.
00:06:05
>> But even if someone mentioned me, you could be in it. You know, >> they were watching your special on the
00:06:10
plane. Guilty. >> What if there we were all on the plane to Epstein's Island watching Dana
00:06:18
Carvey's special? That's how you get mentioned. >> I don't know. I mean,
00:06:23
>> I have another story from the road story. >> I like stories. >> Oh, look who it is. Hey, man. I'm a
00:06:32
witness protection right now, but I'm sorry I created all this [ __ ] And >> am I really dead? Who knows?
00:06:41
>> I know. They say they hustled him out. The whole thing is going to metriculate
00:06:44
for a while, but I want to hear what's new in David's world. Let's brand this
00:06:49
story. >> Okay. >> What's new David's World? >> The only story about when I went to
00:06:56
Milwaukee, Appleton, and Chicago, other than the great crowds, I have to say, uh, minus three when I got to Apple.
00:07:06
>> I I've heard more people doing that Michael Keaton joke where when it's
00:07:10
three degrees out, you go, "Why be any?" Um, and uh I did. And then they were all
00:07:18
I said I put the walk in Milwaukee. That was my big opener when I was there. But
00:07:22
I only walked on the hotel room. And here's the only story that jumped out to
00:07:27
me. I'm leaving. I'm at the airport. You know the guys that make you sign? I
00:07:33
always [ __ ] about John Mackenro's got a video out right now where he's doing it
00:07:36
and he's got one guy that's chasing him and just keeps going just a picture.
00:07:40
Just sign this. Just pick. And he keeps going no. Any airport people's like,
00:07:44
"Dude, get him out of here." And he keeps following him and I'm like, he's
00:07:47
going to knock him out. >> If Marro goes, he goes, "So what happened?"
00:07:52
>> The guy doesn't know he's I wasn't there. I just saw this video and I go,
00:07:55
99% of the people are going, "Just take the picture." I was the only one going,
00:08:00
"Don't. That kid is such a He's been walking with him for a mile in the
00:08:03
airport just getting in his face. >> Won't stop. Won't stop."
00:08:07
>> Anyway, I get to this. That's not the story. The story is a woman is sitting down where you put
00:08:13
your shoes on after the you go through the shoe thing at TSA. >> So I go, "Can I sit with you?" And she
00:08:19
goes, "Yeah." And she has a baby. And so she says, "Oh my god, will you take a
00:08:23
picture with my baby, >> but I don't like to hold the baby." So I
00:08:26
said, "Yeah, you do. I don't want to break it." You know, have they done that
00:08:29
to you where they go, "Oh yeah, >> no. I've never No, >> but they've asked you to
00:08:35
>> to hold their baby. I have to say no. And now I'm feeling like I've been left
00:08:38
out. >> They don't trust me. No, it's okay. We just want the picture. We did it with
00:08:44
David Spade cuz he loves kids. >> I'm like this. Anyway, I go, "You hold
00:08:49
I'll just get in." So, we do some goofy picture. So, this guy goes, "I I want I
00:08:54
go I look up like he's just standing there. He's like a big Wisconsin guy."
00:08:57
Goes, "I'm I'm going to wait. I have a I don't want to interrupt. I have a great
00:09:00
Chris Farley story for you." I go, "Okay." And then I'm taking pictures and
00:09:04
then >> she wants me to leave a message for her husband. So we're doing all this and
00:09:08
he's still there. He goes, >> "It's a doozy." And I'm like, "Okay." So
00:09:13
anyway, she's finished. I get up. I go, "Hey buddy, what's going on?" He goes,
00:09:18
"Okay, Chris Farley, you know, he went to Marquette." I go, "Yep."
00:09:23
>> And he goes, "He his older brother is friends with my brother. And when he stayed there, Chris spent
00:09:33
the night. And I go, "Right." And he goes, "It's crazy, man. It's a crazy
00:09:38
world." And I go, "That's one for the books." I mean, that was the whole
00:09:43
story. >> That was it. >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> I go and then he did something crazy and
00:09:50
he's like, "Just the fact like they're all in the same room and they're all
00:09:54
hanging out." I'm like, >> "Did you get did you go? You're killing
00:09:57
me, man. Come on. I I CAN'T STOP ENOUGH. I go, "Hey, uh, I I go, I'm doing a book
00:10:04
on boring stories. Can I use that one?" No. I said I said, "Oh my god, there's a
00:10:08
movie there that's got a beginning, but not a middle and not an end." So,
00:10:13
forget >> not an end. >> Well, >> you go up to a celebrity, you got to
00:10:18
make sure you got a story to say. Just saying Chris Farley slept over ain't gonna hack.
00:10:25
>> Yeah. Me and my mustache are going to ski daddle. I like how you incorporated
00:10:30
the recent story. That's how I'm going to do it now. So it won't be ad hoc.
00:10:36
>> No, that's good because I say that once again, we're talking about professional
00:10:42
people who get bobbleheads and stuff and sell them, which is fine, but they they
00:10:46
compete and they'll chase you around and stuff. It's not like in the olden days
00:10:50
it' be like, "Gee, mister, I was hoping maybe one day I'd be on TV and tell
00:10:54
jokes like you, you know, and you sign an autograph. This is very different. And
00:10:59
>> they don't even like you. They just they're just like, "Sign this and get
00:11:02
out of my way." And >> they don't like each other either because it's
00:11:05
>> Yeah. And the second you don't sign, they hate your guts. But anyway, uh that
00:11:08
was John McEnroe. This this time they were fine. But they were uh in Chicago, they were they just line up and they
00:11:15
wait and if you don't talk to them, they f they walk with you. It's just there's
00:11:19
no winning. >> You know, every year, David, I think we can unequivocally say this. We make
00:11:26
resolutions >> that somehow never stick. >> But this year, >> I found the one resolution that actually
00:11:35
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00:11:59
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00:12:19
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00:12:24
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00:12:44
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00:12:56
All right. Hey, Dana, this is I'm going to hit you with some information right
00:12:59
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10% off your first purchase >> of a website or domain. Okay, so we covered I have horrible shoes. We
00:14:44
covered the [ __ ] unbelievable Chris Farley story. One for the books. >> That was I mean I was riveted. I
00:14:51
laughed. I teared up a little bit. And um >> we laughed. We walked away cuz we were
00:14:57
all like >> did he skip something or >> was that it? He was just excited to say
00:15:03
his brother met him. >> Well, it's it's Chris Farley. It is a big deal. And so, but but you'd think
00:15:09
that the setup felt like Chris did something very Chris like, you know, ate a whole pie or did somersaults or
00:15:16
something, you know, >> or chewed up a baked potato and the skin was on it,
00:15:21
>> pretended a pillow was a marshmallow and roasted it, you know, all the kind of
00:15:25
stuff that Chris would do, you know, better than me. >> Anything. Anything, you know,
00:15:29
>> anything but what the story was. >> I said, "Wow, that was a real roller
00:15:34
coaster." Yeah. Slow down, partner. I mean, you know, you're going to take my job away
00:15:40
from me the way you're going. You know, I'll be opening for you someday.
00:15:44
>> That's what you say to him. >> What's that? >> It's just anything to connect.
00:15:50
>> No, they were nice. I mean, I would have said hi to the guy anyway. He was nice.
00:15:53
Everyone in Chris told me once, you're going to go to Wisconsin. That's where
00:15:58
they all look like me. And I went and I go, >> Chris told me this and he was right.
00:16:06
>> They're husky. Let me ask you a question about Milwaukee. Did you play Milwaukee?
00:16:10
>> Please. Yes. >> Okay. Here's my story. It's not not a big story. I just want your opinion.
00:16:15
>> So I go out there, Larry Bubbles Brown's opening and I I can't remember the
00:16:19
theater. It was all, you know, incredibly nice people >> and it's really quiet out there. You
00:16:25
know, when your opener is like, "Holy tomatoes, what what is this?" So, I go out, I do my set, and they were
00:16:31
incredibly nice, but really, really quiet. So, I came off a little shook up. I was like, because I always want to try
00:16:39
to kill, you know? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And then the guy who's booking it goes,
00:16:42
oh, you did great. No one gets laughs in this room. Oh, yeah. It's totally normal. I go, maybe you should have told
00:16:47
me before I went out that it's impossible. >> Yeah. >> Or pick a different theater.
00:16:54
>> I don't know. Maybe they're, you know, Minneapolis. Nice. I don't know.
00:16:58
You remember at Nor were you at Norm's funeral? Yeah. Don't say that. Do you remember Norm's funeral when
00:17:06
>> uh I went to killed >> and Yeah, it's all it's 100% was >> 100% competition
00:17:13
>> and I fell on the stairs walking up. >> Yes, I remember you saying this
00:17:16
>> stage hand and then Conan fell. >> Yeah, >> first he caught me and then when he went
00:17:22
up he fell and the stage hand I go, "God damn, there's a there's something on
00:17:26
that top step. catches your foot and he goes, "Oh, yeah. Everybody falls."
00:17:31
>> Yeah. You think >> couldn't give a fat buck. Yeah. >> Tell somebody that you might fall.
00:17:35
>> Fix it. >> Cuz Conan Conan's very agile, you know. I mean, the idea if Conan can't get up
00:17:41
the stairs with his kind of fast Fred. >> Yeah. Me, too. Yeah. >> Then, and you with What shoes were you
00:17:48
wearing? >> My shitty ones. >> They're all shitty still. my shitty ones
00:17:53
>> where there's a little tongue that comes out and curls around like a little
00:17:56
clown. They're sort of red with green stripes. >> Yeah. >> Was that it?
00:17:59
>> They're from the McDonald collection. Ronald McDonald. >> Now, what made you think that you could
00:18:06
get away with shoes that ugly? Your words, not mine. >> I have to say Marcelo and Robbie Hoffman
00:18:13
were so concerned of my shoes, they sent me links of where I can get other ones just to just get my act. They go, "This
00:18:20
is one tweak. It'll change your life. I go, >> "Well, what what's a cool shoe for a
00:18:24
standup comedian?" >> Oh, you'd be destroyed. No offense, but >> my my A6 were were
00:18:31
>> Oh, >> they look like old skateboard shoes. They're just bad. And I I agree. That's
00:18:35
the worst part. I get it, but I'm like, I'm doing a set, guys. I'm not on the
00:18:39
runway. I'm not on the red carpet. >> Well, the thing that people get dressed
00:18:43
up for is in Dandelion, which is available now on Amazon, wherever you get your >> comedy shows. What was on your feet?
00:18:53
>> Dandelions. Bad ones. I mean, even in movies when they put me, I go, most of
00:18:58
the time it just kills my back. So, she told me to wear Kswiss >> or Stan Smith and I go,
00:19:06
>> "Hey, don't put me out there in flats." >> They got about a, you know what I mean?
00:19:11
They're like a millimeter. I'm like, >> "Well, I did a movie.
00:19:15
>> See some hocas. I'll be like, >> I did a movie. Hocas are great, man. I
00:19:19
did a movie once and uh the the leading lady was great, super nice, but I think the director really liked her and I
00:19:27
think she's like 5'11 >> and had heels on. So, and I'm like, well, that's fine. You know, I'm not
00:19:33
that tall, so it's cool. But every day I'd go into my trailer and I'd see the
00:19:38
shoes that I was wearing and they were adding like a half inch a day, but not telling me. They didn't tell me. They
00:19:45
just start, what? These aren't the same as Yes. You can just put me on stilts. I
00:19:50
don't give a [ __ ] >> Tom Cruz collection shoes. Yeah, he's got like 4 in buried and there's some
00:19:56
sort of like AI machine and when he gets in, they go, >> well, they have an inflatable thing. And
00:20:01
so if he's in a scene going, I don't know. I don't know what you're doing
00:20:04
here. He actually goes and he can get himself taller while they're shooting a take.
00:20:11
>> Who was the actress? Olivia Diabo. >> Nope. >> No, she was in something. What was she
00:20:16
in? She was in um World Two. >> Oh, >> yeah. She was She is brilliant. I mean,
00:20:24
yeah. >> Incredible talent. >> Was she off the Wondery years? Possibly.
00:20:29
Or am I crazy? >> I don't know. Um >> Let's look at a clip. >> Let's Let's We don't have one.
00:20:35
>> Let's become a clip. Let's let >> I'm going to show you a picture of
00:20:38
something. >> Okay. >> This is >> Oh, yeah. So, I I have a I have a part
00:20:43
in a movie that comes out. >> You're kidding. April. >> Wait, wait, wait, hold on. You're Wait,
00:20:49
you >> Yeah, I know. >> You David F. You got a part in a movie. >> You go. Are you still acting?
00:20:54
>> So, and by the way, I think Bus Boys might be creeping out, but I got more to
00:21:01
come. >> When can I see a rough way around confusing, bad, silly comedies that need need a little
00:21:08
trimming? >> Confusing, bad, silly. That's our poster. I've done a few of those that
00:21:13
are confusing, but but it's got you and Theo. So, he's got two superpowers that if they're harnessed be
00:21:21
funny >> cuz we're Buzz Boys that want to be waiters. And I said in the trailer,
00:21:24
she'd say two losers with the wispiest dreams possible. They're bus boys that want to be
00:21:32
waiters. >> To be two losers. I'm not even kidding. I mean, really, these are two losers.
00:21:39
Even the actors are losers. It should be called Losers, but these two losers wanted to call it Bus Boys.
00:21:48
That'll light up the marquee. Good luck being on Amazon Prime two days before
00:21:52
you come out. >> Yeah, it's not in theaters. You can only find it on a kaleidoscope.
00:22:00
>> Check YouTube first before you spend any money. >> No, it's great. I It's great. It's
00:22:06
pretty much done. And >> so I did this this movie and they they said here's a picture to release
00:22:13
>> and they said just throw it up and we'll show the picture. Did they you send
00:22:17
that? There it is. >> Throw it up. >> I'll show you a picture of the one they
00:22:21
sent me. This is going to be a >> This is Ke Reeves. It's called Outcome.
00:22:26
And all these people go, "You shaved your head for this?" So I go, "Wait, I
00:22:31
guess they think I'm That's Jonah Hill. >> That's Jonah Hill."
00:22:35
>> Yeah. And so I say at the bottom, hey, I have a part in this. Like I'm part of
00:22:40
this movie. Keanu, uh, Cameron Diaz, Jonah Hill, but this is a picture and then next time I'll have one with me in
00:22:47
it. But this is how they stagger. >> What What's the movie about? Let's just
00:22:50
cuz you're >> the movie outcome is Keanu plays like a Robert Downey superstar who
00:22:59
is a huge star but ruins his career with drinking and drugs. So, he finally goes
00:23:05
clean and after a year, no, a couple months of being clean, he's got his new
00:23:11
big movie comeback coming out and the week it comes out, he gets blackmailed and he's on a race to say, "I can't let
00:23:19
this video out because it'll ruin me." And how and the guy's like, "How much is it worth to you
00:23:26
to have your comeback?" And you have to pay, you know, whatever. I'm just his
00:23:30
neighbor, of course. Hey, >> are you playing David Spade? >> No. >> Oh, are you playing a guy?
00:23:36
>> I play a layered character. >> No, I play I'll No, I won't even give
00:23:44
this one. >> It sounds I mean it really honestly >> that's a cool idea.
00:23:48
>> Sounds like a >> You [ __ ] [ __ ] >> A really cool movie. I mean
00:23:52
>> No, it's great. >> You got me at like his career. Wait a minute. He did. He drank too much or
00:23:58
something in there. >> Oh my god, Danny. You're really the way you say it back to me is not as good as
00:24:03
it is. It's Cameron Diaz is his best friend. Matt Bulmer, is that his name? Bulmer.
00:24:12
And they are the three of them and I'm his neighbor when he lives in Malibu. So
00:24:17
I'm kind of a Malibu guy. Look, and it people might go, why is Dana doing that?
00:24:23
It's just it's all about how the movie's done. The by line is great. I mean, it's
00:24:28
it can be a it could be a brilliant movie. I think Jonah Hill is incredibly bright.
00:24:33
>> He wrote it. He directs it. >> I bet it's really good because I
00:24:36
>> It's super fun. I was a little starruck around Keano, I have to say. And uh he's
00:24:41
a super Yeah, obviously he's a cool dude. >> Kano is he he has his own lane. I mean,
00:24:46
he's so I don't even know how you describe him, but he is uh kind of the
00:24:52
coolest of the cool. Like, there's no sense he's really in traditional show
00:24:56
business. It's like he doesn't really >> he's on his motorcycle. There was a
00:25:00
plane that had to emergency land from Santa Rosa in >> in um Modesto or Bakersfield and he was
00:25:08
super chill about emergency landing. He didn't get a car to take him back to LA.
00:25:13
He took the bus with everyone, make sure that the driver knew to drop every I mean, so
00:25:19
>> he let the plane land on his back. He does so many things. I'm like, Keanu, do
00:25:23
I have to give everyone I said it's hard to keep up with you? I've been on this
00:25:26
movie four days. Do I have to buy everyone a [ __ ] motorcycle on the cast? >> Well, the only thing that gets him, and
00:25:31
this is the only the only thing never say to him, and I did it by mistake once. I just walked up to piano. I said,
00:25:38
"Hey, wait a minute, man. Uh, were you Bill or Ted?" >> Oh boy. >> And then it was like I ducked it. I
00:25:45
>> No, he was doing I think a play for Bill and Ted this year. So, he's still full
00:25:51
into that. Uh, and anyway, obviously fun to see him and he was very chill. Like he had a lot
00:26:01
of dialogue. I remember reading the script going, "Oh my god, this guy's got
00:26:05
a lot to carry." And he was just like super mellow, >> unflustered, unstressed,
00:26:13
>> beautiful wife hanging out. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's married now. Sorry,
00:26:18
ladies. Whoops. He's off the market. Yeah, he really is. He's literally like
00:26:25
one of the number one hot guys they like. >> Uh yeah, I think so. Uh right.
00:26:33
>> Whoa. There was >> You should have a Keanu want to go. Whoa. Whoa.
00:26:44
>> Uh >> oh. It's not going to be Keanu. Somebody tell me when the [ __ ] show starts. Oh
00:26:50
yeah. Hey, applause. I did see some positive reaction to the paddles. >> Look, I don't have to do them. I just do
00:26:58
them. >> No, I saw a positive. >> I'm not going to do them too much.
00:27:02
>> No, a lot of people like it. >> Um, but it's a visual aid. I have new
00:27:06
ones, too, because you know what it does is it makes me work on the impression. Y
00:27:11
got this guy. I've never really >> tried this guy. Now, why was there never
00:27:18
an Emperor's New Brel? >> I haven't got the impression. >> It's hard to just make up. You got to
00:27:26
get your hooks first and then you can branch out. >> Well, [ __ ] you, David.
00:27:31
>> Well, how about we do Buzzing Around and then we'll um >> Yeah, let's do Buzzing Around.
00:27:38
>> Okay, >> so buzzing around for for those of you at home. >> Let's do the intro. I'm giving Dana a
00:27:45
madeup scenario. Right. Okay. Buzzing Around is sponsored by Five Hour Energy. And the return of their confetti craze
00:27:56
flavor. Bring big birthday energy wherever you go with this. Plan your confetti craze party at www.5ourgy.com
00:28:05
or Amazon. There you go. Available now. So, I'm going to give you >> I'll give you three impressions.
00:28:16
Okay. And then you have to make up a scenario. Trump because >> always funny.
00:28:22
>> You know Trump. Yeah. I mean, you know how to do him. >> Yeah. >> Uh, do you want Carson?
00:28:29
>> Why not? >> Okay. And then you get dealer's choice. >> Carson
00:28:33
>> for the last one. >> All right. >> You pick one. Um, Trump, Carson,
00:28:42
uh, Cuba. How about Tony? Tony Montana. >> Oh, Tony Montana. While you're thinking,
00:28:50
I'm going to give a >> shout out. >> Carac joke. >> Oh, good.
00:28:58
>> Swing. Yeah. >> Okay. UCLA AFL CIO. And then Ed goes, "UCLA AFL CIO." And he goes,
00:29:13
"How do you spell Uclaflickio? >> That's a real thing going that if if it
00:29:22
was funny, it was funny. If it was it was horrible, he could make it into the >> He would just stare at the camera.
00:29:28
>> Yeah. It'd be fantastic." And Ed would laugh. Great. >> Simpler time. Simpler time.
00:29:34
>> The best straight man in history. Ed at McMahon. >> Okay, let's see what you got. What's the
00:29:38
scenario gonna be? >> Sure. Okay. Johnny Carson. Let's have him doing his monologue. Uh have Trump
00:29:44
be his Ed McMahon. >> Okay. >> And have Tony Montana be What was the
00:29:49
band leader? >> Yes. Oh, that's Doc. >> He's He's his band leader.
00:29:53
>> Okay. >> Should I have him call him Trump? Yeah. And And Tony Tony and Donnie.
00:29:58
>> Okay. Right. >> Wait, which one's cars that he's hosting?
00:30:01
>> Yeah, he's doing his monologue. >> He's doing himself. Okay.
00:30:04
>> So, um there's been some interesting news out there. Uh U Donnie, interesting
00:30:10
news is always news. And if you look at it, you look at the news, you could always get more news. I couldn't have
00:30:17
said it better myself. I mean, Jeffrey Epstein was all over the news and apparently he had a lot of parties. Oh,
00:30:23
yeah. Oh, sorry. That was a >> lot of parties. A lot of parties. And um apparently he um a lot of people
00:30:32
made whoopy at his party. What do you mean? What are you talking about? >> Well, Tony, that whoopy is just sort of
00:30:40
like people having adult type fun. >> I don't understand, man. You're talking
00:30:45
about a whoopy. What do you think, Tony? >> He doesn't know. >> We're looking at things like this.
00:30:50
People call whoopy. They do it. They do it a lot. These parties, they did a lot of things
00:30:56
and they know how to do it. And quite frankly, if you look at it, many people are talking about it. You you I have the
00:31:02
biggest economy. I don't think this is the time, don't you? The biggest economy, the best
00:31:07
economy is a beautiful economy. The try to ruin it. I don't know if I'm still in Trump. Can
00:31:14
you jump in there, somebody? >> Um, >> look, David Spade is my guest. David.
00:31:18
>> Oh, hey guys. I was just wondering, uh, Tony Montana. Um, >> why >> do you understand what Whoopi is? Do you
00:31:26
know what sex is? Have you ever had sex? >> I know about you. You don't whoopy. You do aaros.
00:31:35
Then you come. You don't know what aes whoopy. That's like a kid show. That's
00:31:43
like little kids and fiveyear-olds at a little birthday party. But when you do, >> everything goes,
00:31:51
>> you know. You know what? I think we got to deport them. We got to deport him. We
00:31:56
got to get him out of here. >> Tony Montana. >> Yes. >> Oh my god. It came full swing. Ice came
00:32:01
into this. >> [ __ ] >> Sorry, I wasn't. This is too incendiary.
00:32:07
>> Listen, that was buzzing around. >> Go to a commercial. >> No, it was good. That was buzzing
00:32:12
around. Sponsored by Fiverr energies. Confetti crazy flavor. Hold it up. Backed by popular demand. Confetti crazy
00:32:20
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its rich, buttery, and vanilla eve flavors. Since Five Energy's shots are tiny and realable, it's easy to take
00:32:32
that birthday flavor wherever you go. I see it. >> Okay, it's good. >> I'm trying to make
00:32:40
>> plan your confetti craze party at www.5hour energy.com or Amazon. Available now.
00:32:49
>> Good job. Nice. >> That's good. You know, we really threw people back to the old Carson show,
00:32:56
>> right? >> Right. >> We It was a little bit different. Maybe
00:33:01
we should trim out the ice. >> You didn't birthday cake one. All of them.
00:33:06
>> Oh, >> this this one's the birthday cake one. You can tell by the confetti.
00:33:12
>> Uh, listen, I have to ask a question if we get into the news stories. >> Let's go stories. I saw I saw a couple
00:33:19
press junket interviews for Weathering Heights. Now, I did not see Weathering Heights. I don't really even know what
00:33:25
it is. It's Emily Bronte or something. Correct. >> Unrequited Love. I think it was first in
00:33:30
the 1940s. They've done different incarnations of this story. >> Okay. I have to say it's got two of the
00:33:36
best looking people in it. Marggo Robbie, arguably one of the prettiest out there. Jacob Allerty, who every
00:33:44
woman's in love with cuz he's 612. He weighs 99 pounds. So >> he's ripped.
00:33:51
>> He's ripped. Shredded. And um but she was doing a press chunk and stuff and
00:33:56
you know they like to be like, "Oh, we had such a great time." And it's just a
00:34:00
fine line between she's married and the stuff she says is like too affusive for
00:34:05
me. >> Okay. >> Okay. If you have the o Okay. Here's him. If you have the opportunity to
00:34:10
share a film set with Margot Robbie, make sure you're within 10 five to 10 meters at all times.
00:34:17
>> Oh yeah. Watching how she drinks tea, how she eats. >> That's not that great. But but he was
00:34:22
she was saying like I can't be breathing the same air as him. >> I'm lost without him. I feel like a
00:34:28
little kid without Jacob. He's my blanket. Uh and then there were rings made on the set for them to wear
00:34:33
together when the movie is over. She's so codependent. I developed that quite quickly with
00:34:40
Jacob. We didn't like to be apart from each other ever. And he's so hard. He's
00:34:47
so beautiful to look. She was just It went on and on. And at one point I was reading it going, "If I'm the husband,
00:34:54
what do you do? There's a it it it's too far at a certain point in my opinion."
00:34:59
>> Yeah. I think that I don't know anything about the Nicole Kidman Keith Urban
00:35:04
situation, >> but I remember her press junk >> on Baby Daddy. >> Oh, baby girl.
00:35:10
>> Oh, baby girl. >> And she said, "I just had I couldn't have an orgasm anymore. I just had so
00:35:15
many orgasms. I just was exhausted. I couldn't have any more orgasms." >> Whoa.
00:35:20
>> And Keith Urban's in Nashville, this guitar, watching a tag. What a Nick.
00:35:25
>> What a Nick's having. What? She's having orgasms >> because he's like, "Well, when you come
00:35:31
home to me, you're like a dial tone." Is that why? Because there's no orgasm
00:35:35
going on. >> It's probably not really natural. Uh it it for a spouse to
00:35:42
have no response to that would just be interesting. >> Of course, it's bad enough they have to
00:35:47
make make out an Fuku. The whole >> Yeah. >> But then the blast it to the world
00:35:54
privately. >> And I would be jealous of him anyway. and he's dating Olivia Jade. So, he's
00:35:59
he's dating someone but not married. It's just all I think it it just it's just something to debate
00:36:08
and we we tackle the issues, >> right? >> We're never right. We tackle
00:36:12
>> the really positive take about that. Like they're just really artists and
00:36:16
this is just their spiritual thing and their spouse is Well, Jacob's not married. He's like 19, right?
00:36:22
>> He's between 19 and 40. I have no idea. But he >> but he was also was he on Euphoria I
00:36:27
think. >> Yeah. >> Girls girls love this dude. >> So I think they're taking a page out of
00:36:34
most movies but most recently is the one with Sydney Sweeney and Glenn Pal where
00:36:39
they were saying, "Oh my god, are they dating? Oh, they're kissing. Oh, they're
00:36:42
hanging out after the set. Oh, they were just canoodling in a booth." >> Yeah. This is them. This is
00:36:49
>> And that's what they're trying to recreate that because that movie
00:36:52
>> Yeah. >> All about you. something. I forgot the name of it, but >> junket person comes into Margot Robbie's
00:36:59
trailer and it was a good film. We're going to get ready to get some press going and um do you have anything to say
00:37:04
about Jacob? She's like, oh, he's terrific. He's a great actor. We had a
00:37:08
good time. He's fun and I think he's a great actor. Hopefully, we really
00:37:11
delivered a performance. Um does anything else? >> Yeah. Did you think of anything like
00:37:18
something like you find him irresistibly attractive? Could we start there a little bit?
00:37:23
>> You need his oxygen. He's unbelievably sexy. And >> how do I live without him after being
00:37:29
with him? Would that be >> Why do I dream about him every second of every day?
00:37:33
>> Yeah. Why do I scream out his name when I have an orgasm with my husband? I
00:37:37
mean, anything you can give me would be great. And then Jacob Eldy. Um, I don't
00:37:44
>> Eld Dhorty. That's the farthest. >> Dorky. I like to shimmy up his long legs
00:37:50
like a native boy looking for a coconut. >> Oh, the great Phil Harman. Is >> that what he says?
00:37:57
>> Chick Hazard. >> Tell I like to shave up a coconut tree like looking for a coconut.
00:38:04
I can't remember. Something like that. Was Chick Hazard. Yeah. Great. >> Anyway, okay. Next story. But that's a
00:38:10
real >> That's a good story. >> That's interesting. Yeah, >> interesting is a strong word, but it's
00:38:16
something. >> I'm I'm putting it out there. >> Okay. Billionaire dies in penis
00:38:21
enlargement surgery. >> Oh, it's real. >> Surgeons have been banned from
00:38:27
performing plastic surgery after this >> diamond dealer. Yeah, >> diamond dealer. Oh, he died of a heart
00:38:36
attack. >> What happens during Why do people die of heart attacks during surgery, Dana? Is
00:38:40
it something with >> the anesthesiologist is doing too much or something, you know?
00:38:46
>> Well, first of all, but if you go into surgery, any kind of surgery, um you should have a cardiac checkup or
00:38:54
you should make sure the edge. He may have had some plaque in his arteries and and it just so happens I don't know if
00:39:03
there's association >> with penis enlargement and heart attacks, but >> I don't know. Oh, yeah. I mean, I do
00:39:10
know, but I'm not going to tell you. But, uh, doing some light research on this over the last seven years, I think
00:39:18
it's too risky. >> Well, the weird part was that they the wife insisted they complete the
00:39:24
operation even though he'd passed away. >> Really? >> Yeah. I was like, what is that about?
00:39:30
>> Yeah. A lot of these you find out were like unacredited doctors or they went to
00:39:36
a different country that wasn't quite standard. >> I know. I guess Turkey is a big place.
00:39:42
Syria, you know, >> they said, "Put a turkey wiener on you." And he goes, "No, I want to do it in
00:39:47
Turkey." Oh, okay. That doesn't make sense. That's his wiener. >> The couple it talks.
00:39:57
>> Yeah, it's a turkey one. Is that even >> from a turkey? >> We shouldn't do these late in the day.
00:40:02
We're too >> I don't know. I don't know when that's going to make sense. Never.
00:40:08
My shirt is so wrinkly. It's just It's kind of silky golf shirt. And what
00:40:12
happens is >> you can't sit up straight in these chairs. Oh, Mandami and AOC.
00:40:16
>> Oh, David, don't worry. That's That's a scary story. We just have a lot of rules
00:40:21
here. >> Okay. >> I I'm Manny. That's it. Everything's going to be okay. Yeah. What's ours is
00:40:30
yours, okay? Because we're we're we want to make sure that everybody shares.
00:40:35
>> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. You I'll give anything to you and you give it to me. Do you like
00:40:41
me now? >> Oh, it sounds funny. >> Oh my god, you're so cute. >> Whoa. Starting rumors.
00:40:49
>> Oh boy, that's a press junken moment right there. I love your your by line
00:40:54
talking to them. What I like just I think it's real so I have to react in real time.
00:41:00
>> Well, I don't know what to do with him. He's got a kind of a cool voice. It's a
00:41:03
little more softspoken. >> He's very smiley. I'll give >> We will get away from the darkness of
00:41:09
capitalism to the warm embrace of collectivism. Right, Lauren Michaels? Not a [ __ ] chance.
00:41:18
>> Lauren turns into the predator. Marcelo was doing Lauren, wasn't he? A
00:41:28
little bit. >> Wouldn't do it. >> Hey, we wouldn't do it. He kept saying,
00:41:31
"I do a good Lauren." >> Yeah. And then he did Bastion. >> Uh, okay. What's the next story? No, he
00:41:39
didn't come. >> That's all right. >> He did make us talk in Spanish.
00:41:45
>> Uh, like two idiots. >> I know. Well, yeah. >> You know when Valentine's Day is
00:41:54
sneaking up and you realize you need a gift that actually lands? If you've ever
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00:42:42
without spending hours searching." >> You can get 20% off your first order
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with Jenny Bird by visiting jenny-bird.com and using code fo at checkout. Seriously, it's that easy to make her
00:42:56
day. House cleaner goes viral after sharing the note her clients left her. to our cleaner. We hit a hundred mini
00:43:07
ducks around the apartment. We do this to ensure a job well done. Please leave all 100 ducks in this jar. Oh my god.
00:43:17
>> So, she's got to go find them all. >> So, that's Is that a trap?
00:43:22
>> Yeah, it's to make sure she's cleaning every corner. Look, there's there's a
00:43:26
picture. Here's one behind the couch. >> Oh, I see. So, you basic >> Here's one by the pipes.
00:43:33
>> Yeah. My housekeeper would find four out of a hundred. Uh, it's rude. Here's
00:43:40
one in the tree. Hi. Water me. I had it too much to drink. >> Do they talk? Do they walk? They do
00:43:50
anything. >> Dude, is that a duck? It looks like a mouse. That's an Toy.
00:43:56
>> I'm on a sponge. >> Anyway, that was uh I would be offended. Uh,
00:44:04
>> you should. >> Oh, the rumor that Sandler there was an Instagram that I swear all my friends
00:44:11
saw were I think it's an AI one where it goes Adam Sandler's daughter was
00:44:17
uh rejected by Chanel when she it shows pictures of everyone but it's not from
00:44:22
this story. You know what I mean? So it looks like it is Chanel's store. I think
00:44:25
it was Chanel. And then she went to buy a purse and like Pretty Woman, they said, "Dear, I don't know if you can
00:44:31
afford this." His daughter Sadie, who's lovely. And so they go, she called her
00:44:37
dad and he came down and he said, "Don't you do this to my daughter." And he
00:44:41
bought every purse on the shelf. >> It's absolutely million million% made
00:44:46
up. >> Million%. >> Like every single moment of it is made up. >> Every moment. And everyone that called
00:44:53
me goes, "Did you hear what happened, Adam?" I go, "I you saw this, too?" I
00:44:57
go, "That couldn't have happened." >> And they were like, "But I didn't ask."
00:45:03
They go, "Did you ask him?" And then everyone's telling me to ask him. I go,
00:45:06
"I don't want to waste my question with this embarrassing >> just to call him and say this." So I
00:45:12
talked to Jackie. >> No, you went for Jackie. >> Well, Jackie asked me something wife
00:45:19
>> and I said, "Jackie, I'm fielding all the people hitting me about this stupid
00:45:24
story." story and she goes, "I know. Isn't that ridiculous?" But I I was
00:45:27
thinking he is protective of his daughters. He But he's not that um showy where he'd
00:45:35
go, "Watch this. I'll buy everything." And and you'll all get a big commission.
00:45:40
I mean, it's like it doesn't show them. They see him and they already feel
00:45:45
stupid. They're like, >> "Well, there's a flaw in the story."
00:45:48
>> Yeah. What is it? >> Well, when they said you can't afford this, what was she dressed like a
00:45:52
homeless person? I mean, what do you mean? >> There's like a little mini handler.
00:45:55
>> Did she have a credit card or a debit card? >> Well, it's a flaw because
00:45:59
>> I asked you a question. >> Oh [ __ ] Um, he she had >> she tried to put it on her Miley Cyrus
00:46:07
[ __ ] membership card for Miley World from last week's show. If you know, you
00:46:12
know. Um, no, she uh was wearing a hoodie. By the way, every kid wears like a hoodie that matches some sweats and
00:46:20
they're all red. >> You can't tell who's got money. >> Yeah. and Beverly Hill. So,
00:46:23
>> it didn't happen, but if it did, she'd be like, "Daddy, they won't let me buy a
00:46:26
purse down here at the store." And and Adam goes, "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"
00:46:33
>> YEAH. I can't think of a good >> There's no way Adam would What are you
00:46:37
doing would do that? >> He walks up to Lady and goes, "You blew it." That's a good gift I send to
00:46:43
people. It's Sandler going, "You blew it." Uh, so now that everyone's cleaned up
00:46:51
and also me and you didn't ski down that mountain. That's the other one.
00:46:55
>> Uh, people talk >> where they go, Dan Carney and David Spade are professional skiers in their
00:47:00
spare time. Everyone's like, "You ski good." I'm like, "This guy isn't even
00:47:05
trying to sound like it's real." >> I know. I had a Uber driver like that. I
00:47:09
guess I don't know where he's from. You ski good, Mr. B. I see you fly down ice
00:47:17
many time. >> I saw clickbait. >> Where are you from? Me. Born in Tarzana.
00:47:23
>> Oh, you sound like that. I thought you were Tarzan. Me, Jane. Are you gak? That's a That's a Sebastian
00:47:32
joke. He goes, I walk out the street with my Uber. Are you gak? Because it's all like 19 consonants in a
00:47:42
row. >> Yeah. It's always like a funny name. >> Yeah. I Okay, let's do another story. We're
00:47:51
really Oh, we'll wrap it up soon. Hold on. >> I'm getting punchy. >> We're doing too good. So, we should pull
00:47:55
back a little. >> Yeah, let's pull back cuz it then we want to match the other episodes.
00:47:58
>> I thought you'd be interested in this story. >> I am already.
00:48:02
>> Okay, click. >> Can I see it? Okay. >> 70-year-old racing. >> That is me going to air.
00:48:14
When I heard shakes are only $72. >> That is 70. >> You don't even look 70. That's a lie.
00:48:24
>> 47. >> Look, I mean, here's the thing. I mean, the main thing when I would watch guys
00:48:30
at 70 race when I was a kid at indoor track meets, they'd be in the blocks. It' be ready, set, and they'd get up and
00:48:37
they'd be like stiff like like just no mobility, you know, the hip and no. So,
00:48:43
for a guy to stride out like that with turnover like that at 70, >> he's maybe getting a little extra
00:48:50
something in his Cheerios. >> I don't know. Oh, he's got five hour
00:48:55
energy. Okay, there we go. >> No, you know what? No, but I sent you one to yourself. I
00:49:05
your text about like a high school kid that broke the mile record. Remember that?
00:49:08
>> It's getting ridiculous. Literally, ladies and gentlemen, >> the 1500 onem race is being dominated by
00:49:17
teenagers. There's 19 year olds running 345. There's now a 16y old >> who ran who rent. It's really fast.
00:49:27
These would be world records. >> Yes. >> You know, >> in any other
00:49:31
>> not too long ago. So, >> let me tell you, >> I thought when they were saying Lindsey
00:49:38
Vaughn wiped out, Lindsay Vaughn's a friend of the show >> when they were Oh, we should have her on
00:49:42
during the Olympics. When they when they said she wiped out and hurt her knee, I
00:49:46
said they didn't say what it was, but I thought >> Mhm. >> my first thought was,
00:49:51
is it already the Olympics? What What do they keep saying 2028? Why? >> Well, the winter one throws us off.
00:49:58
>> Why are they two years ahead? That's That's not >> They try to alternate it.
00:50:02
>> So don't But yeah, I don't like it. I've never liked it >> because there's no hype right now. It's
00:50:07
just like, oh, the Olympics run in 10 minutes. >> What? >> Oh, it's the one where they shoot a gun
00:50:13
and ice fish or whatever that one's called. >> Well, I don't know how many events they
00:50:18
have compared to track and field. The summer games have swimming. They It's so
00:50:24
comprehensive. It's easier to promote it. >> Yeah. But I guess they have crosscountry
00:50:29
skiing. Come on, Hans. Let's go shoot around. You know, they have all that. >> That's what's that one called? They ski
00:50:36
and then shoot a gun. >> Yeah. Pentathlon. >> Ski and shoot. >> Ski shoot. One other thing. Let's go
00:50:43
faster. >> My name is Carter. We win the gold medal. Guess what? Question. Who has the
00:50:53
highest recorded V2 max? That's heart, lungs, power for endurance. >> Uh, Michael Phelps.
00:51:00
>> Nationality. >> It's not Michael Phelps. >> Nope. >> Uganda.
00:51:06
>> Norwegian crosscountry skier. >> 94. >> Scared. >> Should we do Are you afraid of
00:51:17
>> Why are you frightened? >> Why are you frightened by facts? >> Don't make me do another puppet, man.
00:51:23
>> No, don't. Don't >> Don't even start. >> Do you remember Greg Lucanis?
00:51:29
>> Uh, what was his name? Greg Luganis. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah, I got you.
00:51:33
>> He was a diver. >> Okay. I didn't. >> Okay. Let's uh go one more story, then I
00:51:37
got to let you go. >> Yeah. I gota Yeah, I got to get some 5h hour energy.
00:51:41
>> Got to You got to water that fake plant. >> Okay, let's see what this is. I don't
00:51:45
even know what this is. >> Look at the monitor and give the full name of this person.
00:51:52
>> No, wait. Calm down. >> Oh my god. >> Are they serious? >> Or is that AI?
00:52:02
>> We shouldn't end on that one. I don't know. Maybe they just think it's looks
00:52:06
like him. I don't know. >> No, it doesn't look I >> end on another one.
00:52:09
>> I think it's AI. All right, let's go back to the tape. >> You don't know anything about AI. I know
00:52:14
AI. >> I am AI, believe me. >> Well, I don't like this as horror
00:52:18
displays. Let's just play. We'll get rid of it if we Oh, this person says
00:52:26
they have to hold things because they have no gravity in their body. In their not it might not work. It's so [ __ ]
00:52:36
dumb. If they let go, she's just going to float up. She has to carry a bag of
00:52:43
>> Oh, and what's what do they what do they pick it up? She removes the bag, she
00:52:48
floats. READY? OH, SHE floated up. You have to hold her. >> This person claims they need a bag. I
00:53:02
think it's funny. >> It's like a plane kind of thing. >> See, look. She's floating.
00:53:10
It's Peter Pan. Hold her down. She's floating away. She's floating away.
00:53:19
All right, that's enough. Well, >> it's so dumb. But she really >> fly her like a kite. Just strap
00:53:25
something to her ankle and fly her up. >> God, that was too loud, too. Anyway,
00:53:30
we'll we'll end on that banger. >> Someone was almost gonna float away. You
00:53:35
float away. >> They say the thing is they're like, I gravity doesn't affect me, so I have to
00:53:40
carry this sandbag with me. And then one's like, prove it. And then she proves it. And I think people give her
00:53:45
money. I don't know. >> I think off camera. >> She goes, oh. And then everyone kind of
00:53:48
lifts her up and goes, "Oh, there she goes." >> David Blaine's got to be involved.
00:53:53
>> That's their David Blaine. And it's not that good. >> Yeah. Come on, man. There's
00:53:57
>> David Blaine's in Vegas. That's a show I'd go see. >> Oh, that guy's the greatest. I mean,
00:54:03
>> you know, because magicians know how they do it, but the way he does it in
00:54:08
his pattern and everything. >> Yeah. like pick a card and now let's let's walk over to this department store
00:54:15
and go and the exact card you marked is in a shoe department. >> We were leaving a charity gig and and I
00:54:23
was with Rosie and he came up and he meets her and then he goes, "Will you sign a card?"
00:54:30
>> Yeah. >> And then he talked to us for a while and then he and he said, "Look in your purse and her
00:54:36
card was it was so crazy. Everyone's like, we're just like, I have no idea
00:54:39
what's going on. >> The one that I is online, it's Harrison Ford. He's in Harrison Ford's house in
00:54:45
the kitchen. >> Yeah. >> And he's very authentic. >> And he's doing cutting the deck. Cutting
00:54:50
the deck. Harrison Ford gets the card, marks it, puts it back in the deck. Just there. He's He's not even next to
00:54:56
Harrison Ford. And he goes, "Your card's not in the deck anymore." He goes, "What
00:55:00
do you mean?" "Hey, get off my airplane. Get off my airplane." So he goes through
00:55:06
the deck and the card's not there. And then he goes like four feet away. There's a there's a tray of fruit
00:55:13
>> and he says, "Just pick a fruit." >> Oh my god. >> And he picks a fruit. And Harrison Ford,
00:55:18
what is this? >> I want to tell George Lucas >> sorcery. Like now open the coconut.
00:55:25
>> Go cut it and and then open it up. And then and then he sees his card with his
00:55:30
weird little signature. And then Harrison Ford pauses. Doesn't say anything. It just says, "Get out of my
00:55:36
house." >> That's a great ending. >> Get out of my house. >> [ __ ] That's a good clip.
00:55:40
>> Yeah, cuz like >> Yeah, that's great. >> Yeah, we should have David Blaine on our
00:55:45
show and have him make us disappear or something. >> I like David Bla. There's also
00:55:49
Mentalist, but you know, I get scared of that stuff. Um, okay. Well, that was a good show. Good hair story. Lot of good
00:55:56
stuff. >> We'll see you next week. Thanks for coming on another edition of Fly on the
00:56:00
Wall without a guest. Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow
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00:56:24
presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg
00:56:29
Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show
00:56:36
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00:56:44
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