00:00:00
Come here. You little You little Come on. You want some of this? Who does that to Jack Reacher?
00:00:05
>> Who goes up to him and goes, "You think you're tough?" >> There goes the right elbow. The kidney
00:00:09
is ruptured. His knees are shot. >> The femur is snapped. They're saying
00:00:15
Bust Boys is a lot like Kasablanca. Just as far as like longevity and how important it is to
00:00:21
>> between you and Theo, which one's Bogart, Humphrey Bogart, which one's
00:00:26
>> which one's Inger B? Did you see a porn called The Longest Wii? >> We weren made it in the chat. Boom.
00:00:35
>> So, this is episode 941 and you are have taken a page from me. I've swapped out.
00:00:42
But you have a short sleeve black t-shirt on. My last check I've worn a short sleeve black t-shirt
00:00:49
>> 78% of the time. >> 1,200 episodes. Look at I got a cool hat too, but I didn't wear it because it was
00:00:54
black. And I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna rough it with my hair. And uh
00:00:58
>> these people don't deserve another hat. I'm just going to rough it. But the
00:01:01
black t-shirt is very rare for me. >> What happened? >> Well, I do like them, but I always feel
00:01:08
like you've cornered that market, so I said I got to >> fluff it up with green, blue, indigo,
00:01:14
violet, royab, that is light blue and orange mixed together to make a hazy. >> Don't ever ask an what? It's the colors
00:01:25
of the rainbow. >> Usually you have Well, usually you have a robe. You have kind of a little golf
00:01:31
shirt and I'm just saying it's cute. I'm not saying it's feminine. That's
00:01:35
ridiculous. But it has a little collar >> and it has a little puffed out sleeves.
00:01:41
>> Yeah. I mean, um, it's adorable. This is a man. This is Steve McQueen. This is
00:01:46
Brad Pitt in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. >> I'm obviously going to change my
00:01:53
carburetor. I tried to change my alternator on my 70, no 62 Volvo when I was starting out. I had to go to pick a
00:02:02
part. >> You know what that is? That's a >> absolutely >> that's a place in Arizona where they
00:02:07
have all these old trash cars and you give them like uh five bucks to go in and then you bring your old your own
00:02:14
tools and you go find an alternator. You go and you take it out and then you walk
00:02:20
up and put it on the scale like and then they go, >> "She's worth about 25."
00:02:27
And so you can find some good [ __ ] My gas cap was so cool on my old Volvo that
00:02:33
everyone kept stealing it. And my uh stick shift had a knob on it that was chrome and it got stolen within minutes.
00:02:41
>> That's a lovely story. You know what? Let's save that, you [ __ ] God dang
00:02:47
it. I should have saved that for sweeps, you prick. >> Wake up, Dana. >> You can't beat the snoozeer.
00:03:02
I'm getting your alarm clock. >> $1.99 on Amazon. Uh anyway, you'll we'll
00:03:08
revisit this. We don't make the whole episode about this, but >> No, no. We had um mixed reviews on the
00:03:14
YouTube comments. >> Maybe a bit too much. >> Um here's a here's a character I
00:03:20
auditioned for in a movie, but I didn't get it >> because I did I did different breathing
00:03:25
than this. Tell me who it is. >> Oh, it's uh the astronaut Bowman in the
00:03:33
movie 2001 trying to get the how to open the bathroom door or the p door. >> Close.
00:03:39
>> Darth Vader. Oh, Darth Vader. Here's you having having a sandwich. That's a good one.
00:03:53
I I've downloaded I what I did I used AI to >> you and your [ __ ] AI >> all your sound effects and I downloaded
00:04:02
this little machine. So now your sound effects are my sound effects. >> Did you see what I was doing? I was fake
00:04:08
chewing and that was the noise you were doing. It was good. It was a good matchup.
00:04:11
>> Yeah, that's one of your one of your little hooks, which was really funny the
00:04:16
first 900 times. No, it was not. It was pretty funny the second 3,000. >> No, but listen, I my little noises are
00:04:27
going to be replaced by AI, and I'm really scared. >> Everything's going to be replaced by AI.
00:04:33
I went I went yesterday. I actually I I keep a diary and I went a minute and a half not saying the word AI or the
00:04:43
phrase AI yesterday. >> Is that Oh, is that how you say it a lot around the house?
00:04:47
>> AI. Well, AI is going to supplant that. AI will do your dishes. AI. Robots will
00:04:52
be AI driven and they'll steal. They'll find his Volvo, David's Volvo, and some
00:04:58
junk heap. They'll redo it and a robot will drive up and deliver it to you. Poor Paula.
00:05:05
That's all you heard? Finally. [ __ ] I gotta get a good one. Emergency. Emergency podcast
00:05:16
notification. >> Oh, that's good. >> Emergency. >> Breaking news. Here's one. It sounds
00:05:21
like Sandler. >> Why you No has friends. >> Doesn't that sound like Sandler?
00:05:28
>> It's It's right It's right close. It's very close. Why you know has friends?
00:05:33
>> Why you know I have friends? >> Wait, speaking of tough >> did you see that this dude that plays
00:05:41
Jack Reacher who is a freaking monster? >> I know he >> knocked out his neighbor. I'm like who
00:05:47
is fighting Jack Reacher? >> Who on God's green earth >> who gets in front of Jack Reacher's
00:05:54
little motorcycle. He's having fun on a culdeac and goes, "Stop it, motherfucker." here. I mean, who does
00:06:00
that to Jack Reacher? >> Who goes up to Jack Reacher and goes, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:06:08
>> Who does this to Jack Reacher? Come here, you little you little [ __ ] Come
00:06:12
on. You want some of this?" Who does that to Jack Reacher? >> Who goes up to him and goes, "You think
00:06:16
you're tough just cuz you're 69? You think you're tough? Cuz you play the
00:06:20
toughest [ __ ] guy in the world. >> 69 320. You don't want any piece of
00:06:23
this. Trust me. >> You think you're tough? I'll snap your neck. I don't care if you're 734.
00:06:29
I'll make it so you can't reach for anything. Reacher, you reach her. I break her.
00:06:36
>> And what? And Tom Cruz played the character of Reacher in a movie. >> I know that was a big
00:06:45
discussion. >> Tom Cruz is always good though because his commitment is harder than any human
00:06:52
in acting. He's just he commits. If he wants to be 69, he is. And because Jack
00:06:57
Reacher, I guess it was a comic book. He's just some bigger than-l life guy.
00:07:01
And then when Tom Cruz did it, they had to adjust the dialogue. Like this huge dude came in here. He must have been
00:07:08
5'4. He was knocking everybody out. >> He's not 54. Let's at least be honest.
00:07:15
>> He's throwing out numbers. I don't know. >> Yeah. No, he's Tom Cruz, man. I mean, I
00:07:21
I'm just such a fan because he truly risks his life to entertain me. And so if someone's going to do that, he's like
00:07:27
Evil Conval who took an acting class. You know, >> Evil Conval had no plan.
00:07:34
>> They said that when he came in the booth before Wild of Sports and he's like he's
00:07:38
got a dart in his mouth and like a you know Miller Light. He's like, "What are
00:07:43
we doing today, man? I'm hung over." Like you're jumping like 15 buses. He's
00:07:46
like, "I know. >> All right. Keep the camera on me when I [ __ ] wreck."
00:07:50
>> I know. And what about the branding of the name Evil Conievil? That was his
00:07:55
ninth choice. And some of the back circus things he was known as Cruel Ken and it never took off. Cruel Ken is now
00:08:03
going to climb over a Volkswagen bug. And eventually it was evil conne I know >> the comedian
00:08:17
>> evil conneal was uh looked cool sort of took a page out of Elvis's big collar
00:08:24
>> sort of >> the colonel sued him blue >> oh did they sue him for that
00:08:29
>> I made that up >> oh it sounds like it could happen cuz >> yeah but it was that white jumpsuit
00:08:34
>> it looks so cool Yeah. Red, white, and blue. And then Yeah. In front of the uh Caesar's Palace
00:08:45
or something with a ramp. He's going to jump 20 school buses. And a lot of times
00:08:49
he'd fall and break like nine bones and empath. >> That's what everyone wanted.
00:08:53
>> I know. He's okay. He'd wave, you know, on his poor. >> He wiped out so bad at seizures and it
00:08:59
was a slow motion and it was literally like my Zabbruter tape. Zapter because he hit and he's like then he like flies
00:09:08
up and then the handlebars twist and he's like what? Because he had to land on like a dime. He had to land and then
00:09:14
stop before there's some big, you know, pillars and cinder blocks. >> Yeah. They had Jim Mccay or Howard
00:09:20
Cosell commentating it. Here he comes. Zul conval going to drum 49. And Howard Coell used to he was an emergency room
00:09:30
doctor before he was an announcer. So when he went down in slow motion and there goes the clavicle, there goes the
00:09:36
right elbow, the kidney is ruptured, his knees are shot, >> the femur is snapped,
00:09:45
>> ankle twisted, ego bruised, >> and I don't know if people know from our
00:09:52
generation, Howard Coell, sports announcer, was the greatest because he would burst forward and down goes
00:09:58
Fraasia. Down goes Frazzia. And then he was incredibly sophisticated. The penacifications of the index of flops be
00:10:07
the be the you know the champ. >> They do know because our average age of our viewers is 100 which helps.
00:10:15
>> I found out yesterday I was reading I asked AI and they said um 99.2% listen to this podcast and yet we're out
00:10:25
here dancing with our dogs. >> We jump. We have a very wide ranging fan base. Let me tell you one other story.
00:10:32
It's a growing fan base. >> I saw on Instagram, everyone tagged me, of course. And no offense to this dude.
00:10:39
I don't want people to say I look like people. And it's never like, you know,
00:10:46
Tom Cruz. It's always like, "Hey, you look like this guy that's, you know, a
00:10:49
junkie down at the junkyard." So this guy, and I hate to say I kind of agree
00:10:55
with this one. Wait a minute. The junkie at the junkyard. Was that a set article?
00:10:59
>> That should be a show. >> Junkie at the junkyard. >> I'm the junkie at the junkard. Michael
00:11:05
writes a song. >> So, here's a picture if they have it. Kelly Osborne breaks up with her fiance.
00:11:12
I couldn't care less about that story. All I could have my eyes on was the guy
00:11:16
that looks like me as a [ __ ] magician. Do you have that in there? If not, we'll find it.
00:11:24
Oh, I'll wait. Uh, I had a weird photo thing too, >> actually. Just Google it. Kelly Osborne
00:11:32
breakup with spade looking dude with the flat top. >> The guy who started Only Fans passed
00:11:39
away and then Daily Mail. There's a big picture of us together. >> No, with you.
00:11:45
>> Yeah, with me and him. Look it up. >> Look at this [ __ ] spade guy.
00:11:51
>> Wait a minute. That Are people saying that? >> Yeah, but >> they're saying that
00:11:58
>> people sent it to me. >> Well, it's the mullet. >> What do you think, Heather?
00:12:08
>> A little bit. >> A little bit. The crickets agree. Listen, also they're
00:12:15
saying you look exactly like Kelly Osma. Now, that's the part that Oh, I don't have a dress like that.
00:12:23
That's the tell. >> She's got your exact skinny shoulders. >> Uh, they're getting a little more built
00:12:30
up lately. I'll just put news flash. >> All right, forget this story. Let's talk
00:12:34
about Dana and the Only Fans guy. >> Can we get that picture? Is that true?
00:12:39
>> It was in Daily Mail. The the gentleman who passed away. I don't remember
00:12:43
meeting him, but he started >> the gentleman from Kentucky. >> And here is the gentleman from Only
00:12:50
Fans. And here come the women who make money on Only Fans. >> I know they were all giving their sad
00:12:55
quotes like without this I couldn't be naked. >> You got jealous of my stripes last week.
00:13:00
Remember you look >> vaguely familiar to last week's show. Somebody did the wash.
00:13:06
>> Look, don't be mad of my boxy gap long sleeve t-shirt with sleeve elements.
00:13:14
>> You look like Doc O when you stick your arms out like that. >> Whoops. Sorry. Not only tigers get out
00:13:21
of their cages. >> So, >> well, you look tough. You don't look like Jack Reacher. You should fight Jack
00:13:30
Reacher. Hey, >> keep it down, Pipsqueak. I do understand the guy was trying to tell him, "Don't
00:13:37
rev the motorcycles in the neighborhood, but you just don't say it to him."
00:13:41
>> Well, he got there was no charges. Um, they just sort of shook hands. They're
00:13:45
still neighbors. And I think the guy kind of I took a punch of Jack Reacher. I think it's a flex at every poker game,
00:13:52
you know. Tell us that story about how you took on that Jack Reacher guy who by the way does have an actual name. We
00:13:58
should say and we should have him on on this show. >> Let's I want to hear how he knocked that
00:14:03
dude out because the guy's like, "Oh, you're the guy that took the punch in
00:14:06
one second, went down in a millisecond." >> Why? I just It looks scary. I bet it
00:14:11
>> Yeah, I think they didn't press charges cuz >> it was just out of embarrassment, too.
00:14:16
They were like >> Oh, yeah. Did you keep up with um SNL has a UK show? >> Yeah.
00:14:28
>> I just watched the monologue. Our friend was an American >> Tina Fey
00:14:35
>> from America. >> Um I saw some some sketches. I thought they were good. I don't know.
00:14:40
>> Oh, you saw sketches. Okay, good. >> Yeah, there was clips. Yeah. Um,
00:14:45
>> we didn't really talk about this when it came out, but when it was announced, but
00:14:49
I was thinking it is interesting. SNL over there and they can swear. That was one new thing.
00:14:57
>> Yes. I just said they can swear. Tina Fay dropped an Fbomb up front. >> Funny to hear Tina say it.
00:15:04
>> I know cuz I don't see her using that in real life much. >> She doesn't She's not upset. She doesn't
00:15:09
have a She Tina does not have a potty mouth. >> It's enough. >> Oh, here she is.
00:15:15
>> Oh, here she is. Oh, she's with the cast, too. It's funny. This could be
00:15:20
Metallica. This I don't, you know, there's a cast where since I'm not from
00:15:24
there, I don't know one person. It's just random. It's just like so random
00:15:29
until you start to get to know them. But I saw her mono >> and it was good. And they had Graham
00:15:36
Norton come up. They were smart. They frontloaded it with some uh because everyone knows the ratings go down over
00:15:42
the length of the show. So the monologue and the cold open of the scene by the most and after update there's a big drop
00:15:49
off. But uh I I think they had an update. Did they have did they have that or >> do you know?
00:15:55
>> Um yes they did. Uh, you know, I think that you kind of when you're doing
00:16:01
comedy in America and and London, New York, London, you want to be able to work across the pond. Um, so when you go
00:16:09
across the pond, you call it the Atlantic Ocean. I call it the pond. >> You go across the pond, your joke will
00:16:16
work across the pond and work in reverse the other way. But what's interesting,
00:16:20
it's all over the world. Lauren wants to have an SNL in every country. >> Bulgaria next. Yeah,
00:16:28
IT'S HOST from Berlin. >> Germany. Yeah, I Oh, I might go to Europe this summer.
00:16:45
I'll tell you why later. But I And I don't really travel a lot. I used to I like
00:16:55
>> This is Timothy Shalamé's house. We I visit I recorded us playing ping pong.
00:17:00
>> Oh, I thought that was a drop of water. >> No, it is a drop of water.
00:17:04
>> It is. Yeah, it's not that I ping pong better. >> Here's how some of your stories come
00:17:09
across. >> That's your Wi-Fi where you live. All right. Here is um >> Oh, no. Here's during your act the
00:17:21
audience. >> Sonar. >> Here's what you They can't get you off
00:17:30
the stage. They use this. Just stand up. Don't Don't Oh, yeah. People said it's
00:17:36
too loud when you do those. >> Oh, too loud. Really? Oh, >> yeah. >> Well, this is this weighs like 2 ounces.
00:17:44
>> I know, but it packs an AI punch. Ah, >> pack of Jack Reacher. >> Did you know Oh, you don't know much
00:17:52
about this Bachelorette. It's kind of played out by this point, but it happened right after our last taping.
00:17:59
>> Let me hear. >> There's so much to to catch you up on. >> And if I do it on Stay on top of the
00:18:06
Zygeist, you've got your finger on the pulse. >> Well, you are on Daily Meal and that's
00:18:12
usually where these things pop up. It's a a a lady Frankie Paul Thomas Anderson. No, Frank.
00:18:20
>> Taylor. >> Taylor Frankie Paul. Three first names of dudes. >> No. Taylor's a girl's name. So she was
00:18:29
on Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, right? >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Where their big story was they had some
00:18:37
soft swinging. The number one show in the world by some metrics is the off the res Mormon wives
00:18:46
going at it. >> Well, it's huge, >> you know, because there's so much
00:18:51
>> my uh the girl that goes on the road with me and opens Elena Hershey. >> She uh she was Mormon till she was I
00:19:00
think 30. She's probably 33 now. Anyway, she has great stories and I said, "Do
00:19:04
more of that in your act because that's what's riveting about that show. the
00:19:07
soaking, all these terminologies they use. Uh, also that they soft swing and they soft swing means
00:19:15
>> what does that mean? >> shenanigans. It means they can swap >> wives.
00:19:20
>> Don't they have a thing or is it the Amish where they let the young people at
00:19:24
18 or 19 go out into society for two or the Amish go out in society for two years, get drunk, suck, and bop dope do
00:19:33
whatever. Do everything. Yeah. go crazy for two years and then come back. Is it the Amish or the Amish or is that the
00:19:40
warm >> Amish that do rum spring I think and it I don't know what they can do but I
00:19:45
don't think they let them do all that. They can they can get on an iPhone for
00:19:49
10 minutes because they don't have electricity. So that's >> No, I think they get to go nutty. It
00:19:54
sounds like >> maybe well the Mormon wives. So this this woman was like one of the standouts. So
00:20:00
because it's in collusion with ABC and all the They said, "Why don't you be the next
00:20:06
Bachelorette?" But it's the first time they had a bachelorette that had a
00:20:11
>> kids, I think, cuz she had two baby daddies and three kids. >> Huh. So, she comes over there. Now,
00:20:18
these guys come on to fight for her. And they had a preliminary episode where she
00:20:23
met with old bacheloretses. They all gave her advice. And then the season was starting
00:20:30
and an old tape of her fighting with one of her baby daddies popped up and they yanked the whole bachelor. They just
00:20:37
yanked it off the air. The whole bachelorette and I and I think that's the first time. But in the video, the
00:20:43
real incriminating part was the guy's holding his camera. By the way, stop fighting with them when they're filming
00:20:48
you. But he's holding it like this and she's like choking him and then she runs
00:20:53
over there and grabs a chair. That was the big problem. and he said, "Don't
00:20:56
throw it. Your daughter's over here." She throws it anyway. So, what happens
00:21:01
is people say, "You can't do that when your kids right there." And I think the
00:21:06
chair >> Have you ever watched the companion series behind the scenes at the
00:21:10
Bachelorette? >> No. Go ahead. >> Yeah, cuz you see some of the producers
00:21:13
come up between takes. Okay. Um, could you be a little more angry? Um, you really give it to him. You know,
00:21:20
>> it's not reading. >> And then the girls like, I'm just not
00:21:22
really mad at him. I really like him. Yeah, that's good. That's not what we
00:21:26
need right now. You've got you you got to be mad. He's just And pick up a chair
00:21:30
and we're going to have We're going to try it. Bring in the stunt guy. We're
00:21:34
going to So, we're going to throw it so it won't really hit him, but we're going
00:21:36
to get a lot of drama. Have you seen those shows? >> I have. And also, but and the chair is made of Lego. Lego.
00:21:43
It's made of Legos. No one's getting hurt. >> It's made of sponges.
00:21:46
>> There's a bigger issue with it. I'm sure you know >> what's up
00:21:51
>> that they immediately pull her show, but then there's a lot of like there's so
00:21:56
many other big platforms that people are on that have charges of domestic violence and everything, but they're
00:22:01
still allowed to >> Oh, play football, do this, do that, but >> Oh, right. The domestic violence. That's
00:22:08
probably they mean the NFL where they don't get >> Right. >> Yeah. I I mean, I think they stopped the
00:22:12
Bachelorette for right now. They're probably deciding and having these discussions going, "Is
00:22:18
it gone for good?" >> Because they're like, "What do we do? We're going to get in trouble either way
00:22:23
because there's arguments to say, well, that, by the way, the tape is from three
00:22:27
years ago." So, they're like, "Well, did they already see that tape? They must
00:22:31
have seen it if it's this easy to surface." >> So, what's the takeaway?
00:22:38
>> I don't know. I know. I sometimes it's too hard to tell the whole story.
00:22:43
>> It's just a big story. It's so big. >> No, it's >> it's a stupid story that everyone goes,
00:22:49
"Oh, but something to do to distract themselves from real life." >> That's all life is, basically. Just
00:22:54
trying to distract yourself. I watched uh a documentary with my wife last night. Um
00:23:02
Ingred Bergman, the actress who was in Casablanca and so forth and so on. >> Okay.
00:23:07
>> Her life story is very interesting. Mhm. >> Ingred Bergman. They're saying Bus Boys
00:23:11
is a lot like Casablanca just as far as like longevity and how pe how important it is to
00:23:17
>> between you and Theo. Which one's Bogart? Humphrey Bogart. Which one's
00:23:22
>> which one's Ingred Bergman? >> Is there a Spencer Tracy in that movie
00:23:26
or no? >> No. >> But he was a Dr. Jackekal and Mr. Hyde with Ingred B. Ingred.
00:23:32
>> There is. >> Yeah. >> What if I told you I didn't see Kasablanca?
00:23:39
I'd say I'd say you're you're drawing Casablancas right now. >> I'm drawn a Casablanc. I am. What if I
00:23:48
said I didn't see What's an important movie you didn't see? I didn't see Gone
00:23:51
with the Wind. >> I mean, we're going way back, but >> uh Gone with the Wind is interesting
00:23:55
because now on if you see it on Amazon, I think if you rent it or whatever, there's like a um a whole warning.
00:24:03
There's a warning that says these are actors pretending it's not actual slavery.
00:24:08
>> Tell you that much. >> Yeah. And it goes on and on and you may be you may be triggered. It's it's 90
00:24:14
years ago about 90 years earlier but they just but anyway. Yeah. I think that's a it depends if you're a
00:24:22
filmophile. I mean you're more of a hit and run. You're like a Goomer pile you
00:24:27
know. You're like more of I dream of genie >> a hay seed. >> Yeah. We're in the modern era. You're a
00:24:32
bachelorette. This and that, but have you seen All the President's Men? I'll
00:24:36
give you a pop quiz. All the President's Men. >> Love it. >> Oh, good. Three Days. The Condor.
00:24:42
>> Uh, Fay Dunaway, maybe. >> Yeah. >> It I I remember in the movie theaters in
00:24:47
Arizona and I was like, I want to see it. I knew I wouldn't understand it and
00:24:51
I didn't. My dad took me one of the three movies of my life he took me to was [ __ ] Goodbye Mr. Chips. And I
00:24:59
love movies and I was like >> 1970s on this one. >> Yeah. As as a little kid. Yeah.
00:25:06
>> Did you ever see The Longest Day? >> I saw The Longest Yard. >> Longest day is about deed day. That's
00:25:14
pretty cool. >> Did you see a porn called The Longest Wii? >> Um >> Weiner made it in the chat. Boom.
00:25:20
>> I only saw it, but the sound went out. We had to read subtitles, so it just
00:25:23
wasn't as good. >> What's the longest day? That's not the UFO one.
00:25:30
>> No, that's a black and white movie with every movie star at the time, 1962. And
00:25:34
the whole fun of it as a little kid was like the Germans are got binoculars and they're looking out. When are the allies
00:25:40
going to attack? And the subtitles are like, "They'll never attack today. No big deal." Yeah.
00:25:50
And then he goes like this, and there's like a billion ships right there. Oh, he went back to it.
00:25:56
>> He went back to it and all of a sudden they emerged. So that's kind of stuff.
00:26:00
Did you ever see Jason the Argonauts? I asked I asked Tom Hanks this. >> Yeah. Is that the one that looked kind
00:26:06
of fake but they were like >> Yeah, but it's great. >> I liked it. Very cool. I saw that on
00:26:10
Saturday morning. >> Now let's go to 2025. Do you know they're speaking of of
00:26:18
looking they're putting 125 speeding cameras in LA now. So careful when you come into town Dana I know how you like
00:26:29
that lead foot. Uh yeah. You know what is kind of one of the perks of being a saw Liberty. The last three times and
00:26:38
it's only happened over a period of many years. I'm gonna get mad. The last time
00:26:43
I was going up this highway supposed to go I was probably, you know, I've got a
00:26:48
car with a pretty big engine. You got those pips sweet cars. >> And I got I just was leadfooted and I
00:26:54
whoop whoop whoop, >> you know, and I >> I just come running around and one time
00:26:58
I got a guy looked at me and I'm not that recognizable unless I'm dressed as
00:27:02
Gar, which I do go to malls sometimes. >> You have it in the uh glove compartment.
00:27:07
You have the glasses and wig. >> Yeah. But anyway, he just wanted a picture and
00:27:12
an autograph. >> Hell yeah. >> And I didn't get a ticket. It's It's
00:27:15
unfair. He should have ticketed me cuz I was pretty drunk. But the god, >> good golly edge to him. I like it. Yeah,
00:27:25
I've be gotten off and I've also gotten tickets. But I don't like the kind like that
00:27:30
because I get they're trying to it's an easy money grab. But it is it's supposed
00:27:34
to make things safer which I understand. But if they're going like it should say
00:27:38
over like 15 miles an hour over or 20 because that that's the dangerous ones.
00:27:43
But I think every single person is going a little over but they just take it and
00:27:47
send it to you. You don't even know. None's the wiser. >> Yeah. You kind of know if it's if the
00:27:52
speed limit's 65 you can go 74 safely. >> Yeah. and they're not >> in town. So if it's 25, you're going 35,
00:28:01
>> I would say in and I've driven to New York and I've driven everywhere, man.
00:28:06
>> And when you're in West Hollywood, Hollywood area, and you're at these
00:28:11
giant intersections, let's say Santa Monica and Loiaga. >> Yeah. >> And people hit 70 and you know, you know
00:28:17
they're coming. You're going to make a left and you know, now it's orange,
00:28:23
now it's red. If you try to jump it that those intersections are death traps. I'm just
00:28:30
saying it. >> Sure. Plowed. >> You got you got t-boned. >> I got t-boned bad at one red light
00:28:37
runner. >> Mhm. >> Um when they floor it is that's when it's dangerous. You don't floor it
00:28:42
through a yellow or a red, >> right? Just to get through it. And then and then you add in a homeless guy who's
00:28:48
just wandering in the out in the intersection and you're looking he's going to get hit. He's going to get hit.
00:28:53
you know. Oh, I just missed him. It's exciting down there. You should come to
00:28:56
my farm. >> Oh, no. There's a chicken. He's going to get hit. There's a new term they're not
00:29:02
using anymore called I didn't think they still use this. Geriatric pregnancies.
00:29:08
That was in the news today. >> Oh, okay. Define that for me. >> I think
00:29:14
>> that you can you can a woman can have a baby now at 70 or something. >> I think it's lower than that. And that's
00:29:20
why they said, "Why are we call Why would anyone ever call pregnancy Jerry?
00:29:24
I didn't know there was even a term. How about, oh, that's lucky you got pregnant
00:29:30
when you were 44 or whatever." Like that's instead of, "Are you doing okay
00:29:36
with your cherry?" Geriatric sounds 80. I know. Well, it's interesting how men
00:29:43
can can be in their 80s and and have babies with women in their 20s. Just something uh really fun about it and
00:29:50
interesting. >> It's something very jizzy. >> What's that? What? Heather,
00:29:56
>> it's a fun thing. >> Fun. >> That was me being sarcastic. You know
00:30:00
what you always do? Let me ask you this question. >> When someone older guy has a baby with somebody,
00:30:10
>> you always I immediately think, how old will the guy be when the baby's a senior
00:30:16
in high school? Am I the only one who does that? See, >> I think everyone does. I think
00:30:20
definitely the mom does it. >> Yeah. So, you think of an 83y old being a new dad. 93. So, when the kids, it'll
00:30:29
it'll be 98 when the kids >> I think Pacino just had a kid probably a couple years ago.
00:30:35
>> Oh, yeah. >> Oh, yeah. Maybe two years ago. >> What a baby.
00:30:40
>> Oh, yeah. I perfectly like a baby. Oh. Oh, what you got to do? Look at this.
00:30:47
Look at a kid. I swear to God, I'm gonna babysit him once a year. Once a year.
00:30:53
>> Okay. He's probably a dumb dad. >> That's a good >> I love Alfino. Can we have him on the
00:30:57
podcast? >> I would love it. >> About him >> two weeks ago. >> I see him sometimes out and about. How?
00:31:06
I don't know. >> I saw him at some kind of restaurant once. >> Yeah.
00:31:11
>> We locked eyes, then he looked away. Um, all right. Let's if if that's enough
00:31:17
about your week, we will talk about the stories in the news, but I might you might have more week stuff.
00:31:22
>> Well, we have some news coming up, but it'll really happen in July. One of our
00:31:27
horses is going to have a baby. >> How old's the dad horse? Too old. >> Well, it's different in the horse world.
00:31:36
They have the stud and there's the stud is just in the valley and the stud has
00:31:42
sex with 200 mayors and then the more dopey normal horses just look around and go
00:31:51
>> can I get some of that [ __ ] share the wealth. >> Yeah. So it's kind of like just it's you
00:31:56
know >> we got one one horse named DiCaprio and he gets all the girls. >> Well it would be more like the reacher
00:32:04
guy and we got to get his name. This is rude. I can't just call him the reacher
00:32:07
guy. >> Allan something. >> Alaner. Richer. >> Is it Rickman? That's another actor.
00:32:15
>> He's probably coming on. So, we better get it right. >> Jack Reacher who plays him. We're so
00:32:23
stupid. >> We're the lamest, slowest, >> or the best and the fastest.
00:32:30
>> No, we're the best. [ __ ] do you have any >> Alan? How do you say it? Richson.
00:32:38
>> Oh boy. >> R C H S O N. >> Oh, Alan Richson. She's saying I don't
00:32:43
buy it. Oh, I got a feelood story. I'll tell you real quick. >> And then I then we'll do the stories.
00:32:48
This was from this morning. I'm not doing one of your dumb sound effects. I'm doing a real
00:32:52
>> I've laid off of it for a while. >> This dude I got to say his name. Okay.
00:32:58
Lucas Toby's down at a This is in LA. He's a He's a surf teacher, I think.
00:33:05
Anyway, >> feel good story. Dana on the beach. >> Excited. >> Yeah.
00:33:09
>> He's on the pier like watching some students, whatever. >> Mhm.
00:33:13
>> Little girl screaming in a rip tide. The dad's going out to get her.
00:33:18
>> The dad can't really handle the riptide. >> Immediately goes in in his clothes.
00:33:22
Heavy clothes. You know, riptides, you know the story, you're supposed to swim
00:33:26
sideways. It's hard. You can't. Yeah, you can't do it. You can't fight it.
00:33:31
>> And you can't try to come in. You'll get too tired and it'll pull the ocean. This
00:33:36
is one of the reasons honestly I don't go in the ocean. When I hear riptide,
00:33:39
>> couldn't be scarier. So you you swim sideways along the shore. Sounds easy.
00:33:44
You're probably getting pulled out quietly >> and then you get to where you can swim
00:33:48
in because the rip tides are >> It happened to me once. Yeah. LA Beach. Santa Monica Beach.
00:33:54
>> Me and my brother. Well, we're both in a ripper and we're trying to go in and the
00:33:58
lifeguard was just like this, >> you know, go >> touch, >> go horizontal, go to the right. Yeah.
00:34:05
So, we did it. We survived >> and it worked. That's that's >> Yeah.
00:34:10
>> But yeah, you get kind of tired because you're sort of adrenalized, you know.
00:34:14
>> Oh, for sure. >> I used to go body surfing San Diego. All the idiots from Arizona went out there
00:34:21
for two weeks. We'd stay in Lucadia and they hated us. the locals did. But, you
00:34:26
know, we put some money in the economy. We'd stand by the motel and buy shrooms
00:34:30
off people. >> So, we were helping uh buy some locom >> and then but but we go out there and I
00:34:38
could just body surf without thinking about it and tread water for 45 minutes and surf.
00:34:44
>> I could not do it. >> I got to build >> float on your back.
00:34:49
>> I got to build it up again. I got to start I think cuz my neck I could tread
00:34:52
water in a pool and then just build the strength up >> but if you can float on your back you
00:34:58
can last a long time. >> I don't think I can float but uh anyway the guy grabbed the daughter then then
00:35:05
but you know people start fighting when they're panicking so they weren't panicking too bad. He's
00:35:11
like just don't panic as he goes I was panicking. He goes I'm in my clothes the
00:35:15
water's freezing. I'm like this wasn't the plan. Anyway takes him to the side.
00:35:19
Not all the way in to the side. Little jetty. >> Mhm. >> Look it up. Educate yourself.
00:35:24
>> Toward the jetty. >> And then um that's from Tina's monologue
00:35:27
on SNL. >> They kept saying educate yourself. Uh so brought them in. Everything's fine.
00:35:38
>> Okay. >> That that's the whole story. >> I love your aquatic uh tales.
00:35:44
>> That's a good story because it's a feelood, Dan. Even though you don't feel
00:35:46
good right now, but you should because you should be like, you know what? There's some good out there, you know.
00:35:52
Push come to shove. Give me a flat kind of temperate mountain lake in Montana, Lake Whitefish. Smooth as
00:36:01
glass, >> right? >> There's no creatures in there. There's no riptides. It's you either fish or you
00:36:09
can or you can get a waveunner and if it looks like you're going to wipe out,
00:36:13
it's not like a motorcycle. You just throw yourself off the back. Are you with me on this? Right. Yeah.
00:36:19
>> Yeah. Sometimes. Do you say, "Cowan, take me away." >> I said it this morning.
00:36:25
>> When you in your ice bath >> when I took my ice bath cuz I got some
00:36:29
nice compliments. >> Do you know what Cowan do? Do you remember that commercial?
00:36:32
>> Cowgon. Yeah. It's like a powder or something. >> It's some poisonous powder. I'm sure now
00:36:36
we probably figure out, but you put in your bath and you take a nice bath and you go, "Kowon, take me away."
00:36:42
>> Calon. Oh, that's >> I use that my act which no one knows. And I also use um you're soaking in it
00:36:49
match. What's that from? >> Well, that that's um a sort of Palm Olive or
00:36:56
>> Palm Olive. >> The dishwashing. >> They put their nails Yeah.
00:37:00
>> They put their hands in the dishwashing liquid. >> I got that right. Did I get that right?
00:37:05
Palm Olive. Is that it? >> Yeah. We need more of him. >> I see clips of him.
00:37:11
>> He's in there. I I don't have much time. time. I only have five minutes. Can I
00:37:16
just uh >> now >> ask you a couple things. You get a simple yes or no answer.
00:37:21
>> You were coed >> on Twitter that you hate people with red hair. Your
00:37:33
words, not mine. >> You stand by that statement. Sound familiar? >> Am I standing by?
00:37:39
>> Am I reading that right? >> Am I reading that right now? I did not
00:37:44
just fall off. I I mean his colloquial he's like the new Ross Barrell. Let's
00:37:49
face it. >> It's right there. Biggest Texas. >> Yeah. Or he's like Dr. Phil. Did someone
00:37:55
ratch stupid on my forehead? That was one of Dr. Phil's. He probably got it from Senator John.
00:37:59
>> Someone rat stupid on my for Oh no. Kennedy says it's right there. Big as
00:38:05
Dallas. Not Texas. Dallas. >> Dallas. >> It's big as Dallas. >> Big as Dallas. Now, your state is 19
00:38:15
trillion dollar in debt. Did I get that right? Now, do where where do you think this will end up? Do you think you're
00:38:23
going to be like the guy got pushed out of the spaceship in uh 2000? That's outtake. Sorry. Can I can I get a
00:38:34
a minute? Come back to my analogy. >> N trillion. That's that's 18 zeros. Am I
00:38:39
right? Listen, that's Dennis Miller's act when he goes the deficit is the $17 trillion.
00:38:49
>> That means there's that's there's country still insisting on lending us
00:38:54
money. I'd be a little tighter. Hey, you're already into us for a couple
00:38:58
trill. I mean, come on. That's 18 zeros, babe. I mean, >> I mean, now what are we? Yeah, pretty
00:39:05
>> I'll go to the wall with a pal, but come on. >> Jesus. >> I need to see a [ __ ] Finn something.
00:39:09
40 trillion in a fin. >> All right, let's go to stories. We have no time.
00:39:23
>> We have no time now. >> We wasted so much time story. All right. >> Oh, here's a fun story.
00:39:27
>> That Wow, that's awesome. >> 20 cities with the highest STD rates.
00:39:31
>> Wow. Well, San Francisco is number one. >> Oh, who's from San Francisco?
00:39:38
What? >> Damn. >> [ __ ] I got I got to call a doctor. >> Okay. Where is Scottsdale?
00:39:44
>> Let me see. Oh my god. Scottsdale's nowhere near. >> No, but >> where's LA? LA's 10.
00:39:52
>> You'd think New York would be high or something. Or LA. >> Wow.
00:39:56
>> St. Louis is two. >> What is happening? Nikki. Let's call Nikki Glazer.
00:40:04
>> She's got 20 minutes on this. I saw Nikki last night at dinner. We She's
00:40:09
been doing spots now that her movie's done. >> I've seen a lot of fun people doing
00:40:13
spots. We had a great time. I I went on twice this week. >> And who cares?
00:40:18
>> Bobby Bobby Lee, Bill Burr, >> you know, I didn't see Bobby Lee. I saw
00:40:22
Santino. I saw Nikki. I saw >> Santino, >> Whitney, Ali Wong, uh, >> a lot of fun. Haron Williams last night.
00:40:31
>> Williams. Yeah, >> I did the classic and I forgot that there wasn't an MC in the main room.
00:40:38
>> So, I did my joke. Crush levitated the room. Uh, no. I finished and I >> like that phrase
00:40:46
>> and I turn around and then he's not there. >> I don't know who's there. I'm looking
00:40:50
for the host. I go, "Who brought me up?" And then I yell back there and there's a
00:40:54
photographer, Liz. I go, "Is anybody back there?" She goes, "Yeah, they're
00:40:58
behind the curtain." I go, "Tell them to get out here. It's time." Then I go,
00:41:01
"Fuck it." I go, "All right, no one's here. I'll do another encore." Gave
00:41:05
myself an encore. >> Gave yourself an encore. What? I You want me to do more?
00:41:09
>> Well, because no one's on stage. I can't leave. I'm a professional.
00:41:12
>> I didn't like when I would have the middle act when I was coming up in the
00:41:16
clubs and they do pretty well. And they're like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't
00:41:21
have any more time." They're more. It's like, >> "I'm sorry. This [ __ ] hog Dana wants
00:41:26
to do an hour." >> I mean, he he'll pipe the lash on me, man. He'll kick my ass.
00:41:31
>> Too bad. I could [ __ ] keep killing or you could watch him do. Okay. >> I can't hear you. You want what?
00:41:39
>> Maybe after Dane I can come back. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's like you got a thumbs up.
00:41:46
>> Did I do a thumbs up? >> Yeah. You got a heart earlier. Watch. [ __ ] You see Dana got a heart. Don't do
00:41:52
a heart. >> Well, why does it Why is it inter is it the >> You were doing the binoculars and you
00:41:57
got a heart. Mhm. God, it doesn't work for mine. There it is. Look, you got it
00:42:01
again. Look at that, Heather. >> Wow. >> He's so lovable. >> So lovable.
00:42:06
>> Oh, it's like a child now with a collection. >> I I can't believe this. This is
00:42:12
>> Look what I did. >> I'm sending this out to all the fans. >> All the fans.
00:42:18
>> All the fans. Look what you get. Fans. >> Empty. All right. How about another
00:42:22
story while you do that? >> No. I got magic. >> I like it. Do you? >> This is actually insane. My guess is it
00:42:31
won't be insane at all, but go ahead. >> Okay. >> Sorry, we're having trouble.
00:42:37
>> Was that planned? >> Maybe it disappeared. >> Oh, okay. Here we go.
00:42:42
>> V. >> Bit of glasses because you won't ever need them again. It's insane. But
00:42:46
seriously, what the hell? These new eye drops have actually been in the headlines a lot recently, but the FDA
00:42:52
have now approved them. Now, I don't think you understand quite how big this
00:42:55
is, but let me put it into context. Now, these eye drops essentially correct your
00:42:59
eyes, removing the need for glasses in less than 30 minutes. It's a once a day
00:43:04
eye drop that you basically put into the way they've described this and how it
00:43:08
actually works. The eye drop creates a by constricting your pupil almost like when you change a camera lens around.
00:43:14
And from the tests they've been doing, it's helped people see things a lot
00:43:17
clearer up close and increased patient visibility by over 70% of someone who barely had any. It's
00:43:24
absolutely insane that it worked within 30 minutes. It doesn't work your eyes.
00:43:33
>> It may work for 30 minutes, but it doesn't start working in 30 minutes.
00:43:40
>> It's insane, but not true. But it is insane and you can please keep watching.
00:43:45
>> Absolutely insane. You put these eye drops in your eyes and you never need
00:43:50
glasses again. >> It's It's Cle's Yeah, I don't know if that's true. If it is, I'll buy some.
00:43:56
But >> I call [ __ ] >> It's too big of a story. Okay, we're really [ __ ] calling these
00:44:04
people out. All right, look at my acting. I know. I'm watching fly on the wall.
00:44:15
>> Oh, it does. >> Okay, now now it goes away. Now it's Now it's coming back.
00:44:21
>> Well, we can continue this. There it is. Heather, do something. Next week, another scene from the movie
00:44:28
Bus Boys due April tween. That isn't that in Buzz Boys that you get attacked by
00:44:37
>> Yeah, we took that from Tommy Boy. Just put it in Buzz Boys. You should
00:44:43
>> Tommy boy. Tommy boy. Bus boy. You're only one word off. >> Jimmy Fallon.
00:44:48
>> I had Jimmy Fallon. It was is insane. Davis F. Crazy. The bus boy is amazing.
00:44:55
>> I was going to go on Jimmy Fallon for Bus Boys and then uh he's freaking dark.
00:44:59
I'm going out to do the um premiere of that Keanu movie uh Outcome. >> So when I'm out there, that's one week
00:45:07
for Bus Boys. So I'm like, "Oh, I'll just go out there and do both.
00:45:11
I think I'm going to do Stern again. I haven't done Stern in years. >> Oh, you're going to go back to Howie.
00:45:17
>> Oh, you're going to be on a screen in Manhattan. He's in his house in Long
00:45:20
Island. >> You know what's funny is that I said, "Can I do it in LA?" Like me and Dana
00:45:24
did once. It looks like a studio. I think that's what Kate Hudson did. >> Yeah.
00:45:29
>> And they said, "No, you got to be in LA." They don't do that. I was like, so
00:45:32
I go, "Well, I will be in New York. If I can come the next morning and then fly
00:45:35
home." So, we worked it out and then they go, "Howard will be home." I go,
00:45:40
"And what am I? I'm going to the studio." >> Yeah. But he'll be
00:45:43
>> Isn't that crazy? So, I'm driving in to the studio mid. >> Mhm.
00:45:49
>> I think that's cool that hopefully there. >> They do it really well. When we did it
00:45:54
with on his show, it's like it looks like we're with him and his his he's on
00:45:58
a gigantic screen and the sound very immediate. I mean, you don't really miss
00:46:03
>> I do kind of want to see him. I haven't seen him since me and you. >> You don't really want to see him.
00:46:08
>> No, but Dana. >> No, but >> I'd like to be in studio. >> By the way, you can buy tickets. We're
00:46:15
adding screens to Bus Boys. We got to call Canada want some screens and we got to call Scottdale.
00:46:23
>> Yeah. >> So, you put it out there and was going to be 50und screens and now
00:46:29
>> uh movie theater chains or whatever saying, "Can we have it?"
00:46:32
>> Yeah. because the trailer did well and it got by seen by like 15 million
00:46:36
people. So they're like, "Oh, something's going on here." So I asked
00:46:39
for some Harkkins in Scottsdale. Uh and so Harkkins said, "Yeah, >> you had me at 15 million. 15 million
00:46:47
have seen >> people watch the trailer." Yeah. >> But the uh So anyway, so they go, "Oh,
00:46:53
maybe people." But so we wanted to go with the lowest amount of screens, which
00:46:57
is like 50 >> just for a taster >> with Regal and Cineark. and they came
00:47:02
that was happened early. They said if you need screens we'll do it. We're like
00:47:05
I don't know if we're going to even go to theaters. You might just put it out
00:47:07
online just say here just buy it and uh >> played with that for a while >> but it is you get kind of horny to be in
00:47:13
a theater but it is a gamble because theaters are tough especially these days it's very tough to get people out
00:47:19
>> and so >> uh we're going to be uh in we're in about a hundred right now. I think it's
00:47:25
another hundred are coming. So, we're trying to keep it down because I don't
00:47:29
want to go like a full wide. It's just too hard. It's just to get people out.
00:47:32
We I think we think people will come and check out some of it. It'll have a little run in the theaters and then
00:47:38
we'll >> and video on demand. I think you put it and people just buy it home on Apple.
00:47:44
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It is a big leap now with all this stuff you can watch to get in your car, go to the place, but
00:47:52
>> I think you guys your super fan base will show up and it'll it'll
00:47:56
overperform. It'll be a surprise. >> I think it's the the the idea that we
00:48:02
didn't do it the regular way and it's a little more nonPC that people said it
00:48:07
seems like 90s movies or 2000s when like >> it was back when you kind of just do
00:48:12
whatever you want. >> Harder jokes, put it that way. >> Stuff like that. Yeah. And uh
00:48:18
>> so we'll see. Um but that's all I'll say about that until next week. Then I'll
00:48:22
say more, of course. Uh, all right. We're running out of time, but let's do
00:48:26
one more story. We'll end with a real >> banger. >> We need a banger to bring this home.
00:48:29
>> It won't be. >> I got a good feeling. >> Wait. Okay, it says something. A
00:48:36
thousand-y old mummy. Let's see if this is This might be UFO related. >> Oh, I know what this is from.
00:48:46
>> He looks like he's not doing well at all. >> Supposedly Yeah, that needs NY.
00:48:50
>> Is that it? I saw a whole thing. You can stop it. I saw a whole thing where they were in a
00:48:57
forest somewhere. Of course, this sounds like a lie and I'll try to find this
00:49:01
clip. In the forest, they were cutting down the trees and they found little smaller like
00:49:07
>> pyramids, you know, because they were so dense. The trees are so high. Yeah.
00:49:12
>> No. So, they're like, you know, >> let's say 50 100 feet high,
00:49:16
>> but the trees are so big in like some jungle. They get it down and they get
00:49:20
inside and then they see all the hieroglyphics and there's >> spaceships and arrows and things and
00:49:26
like people looking up and you always go what is going on if these are from thousands of years ago
00:49:31
>> and they found that thing. >> Well, the main thing if if like somehow
00:49:36
you fall in a glacier or in the jungle and you're like, "Okay, I'm not going to
00:49:40
be found. I'm probably going to be mummified." Just try to really close
00:49:45
your mouth. Just just just whatever you do. That guy looks so stupid. Even if he's an alien, he looks dumb.
00:49:50
>> He dislocated his jaw. You want >> sleep like this? Ready? One, two, three,
00:49:55
go to sleep. >> Yeah, I know. Well, if you think you're going to be mummified and you're like,
00:49:59
"Okay, [ __ ] it. I'm going to be a mummy." Just have a little impatient
00:50:02
kind of Mona Lisa grin. Just as you're becoming mummy. >> No. If they say, "Okay, stay in here.
00:50:09
Unfortunately, you'll be mummified, but then people will see you later." I go,
00:50:11
"Okay." I go, "Ready? Close it." And I go, >> I try to look more cute.
00:50:16
>> Right. you're about to go mummified. You just write, you just kind of put your
00:50:19
hands up like this and go. >> You do fonswood. >> So they find you and it's kind of
00:50:25
positive as opposed to I don't want to. By the way, I'll end you with this while
00:50:30
we're on conspiracy theories >> that there was some chatter that the unfortunate incident with the plane that
00:50:39
hit the fire truck >> and smashed up the plane, which first of all, in my eyes, if I had to guess, I
00:50:48
would think the fire truck is here and the plane's up here and it would hit the
00:50:52
wheels and stuff, but it was like a head-on. So, >> too much speed, too much energy.
00:50:56
>> Smash. >> Yeah. the plane. It peeled back. Anyway, now people are saying, "What happened on
00:51:01
911?" Because the planes look like they went through the building. None of the
00:51:06
debris fell. This shows even a fire truck. It smashes everything back. H anything there or nothing?
00:51:13
>> Well, they were going a lot faster. Well, I know that they were going a lot
00:51:17
faster. 150 miles an hour. >> They're probably going 500 miles an hour.
00:51:23
>> Uh but probably those were fake planes. I think I'm convinced now that
00:51:30
I saw the one where they say they're holograms and I can't quite get my head
00:51:33
around like how can we all see it then? How can we all see it? Not just video. You see everyone on the ground saw
00:51:41
planes coming. >> Can that be a hologram? If they can, they're way advanced. That's way ahead
00:51:46
of mine. I can't get that. But they do go like this and they show it poking out
00:51:50
the other side the nose and you're like, "So the plane went through and the nose
00:51:54
was unbroken." They call it the Pinocchio effect. Look it up. >> But again, I have to say I'm not an
00:52:03
expert on this. I have to keep saying, >> "Well, you sound like one. I'll be
00:52:06
honest." >> Anyone thinks I know what I'm talking >> I'll be I mean you you um weren't you a
00:52:12
physics major? >> I go to the university. >> You're a degree in electrical
00:52:16
engineering. I thought >> I got a degree in stupidity. >> No, I didn't graduate.
00:52:23
>> Shocker. >> Shocker. >> Guess who else didn't graduate?
00:52:27
>> Um, Albert Einstein. >> I'm not Bill Gates, >> Elon Musk. Uh, the Russian guys who
00:52:35
started Google, they all they're there sophomores in college at Harvard and going this this [ __ ] dunce doesn't
00:52:42
know anything. I'm out of here. I'm gonna go invent something. Did Eric Schmidt, is that the guy that co-founded
00:52:46
Google? >> Yep. Well, they brought him in, you know, to kind of help them with
00:52:51
oldfashioned management type stuff. >> Cuz I ran into him the other night. I
00:52:54
was eating next to him when I chatted him up. >> He was a nice guy. I ran into him.
00:53:00
>> Feels like he's smarter than >> I never say this. He felt 1% smarter
00:53:05
than me. >> I would never admit that. >> Time means everything. If you're in the
00:53:11
world >> No, everyone's smarter. in the world of um the 90s early knots whatever in that
00:53:19
world that digital world that was emerging you know there were sudden micro systemystems and Cisco and all
00:53:25
these companies >> and I did corporate dates for them if I'd said don't give me a check just give
00:53:32
me shares like with Apple >> dummy >> see I said to you I remember in 98 we
00:53:38
were you just after SNL I said buy Apple buy Amazon on and then just hold it. Don't sell. And you said, "Nice try.
00:53:47
Nice try, dude. >> I'm going to buy Toys R Us >> stock." >> I said, "I'm going to buy I can't think
00:53:57
of something that went out of business. I'm going to buy Blockbuster." Oh, look.
00:54:00
You got rain. What? Look at this. >> Maybe we end on that. That was special
00:54:07
business. >> Well, I don't know why it's interstitial. I do the exact same thing.
00:54:10
I don't get >> what a big budget we have >> for you listeners. It's pretty amazing.
00:54:16
Um, >> we are we are tearing it up here with >> We did it again. Episode 6,481.
00:54:24
>> Yep. And I think by the time this airs, I'll be coming to Nashville,
00:54:32
Pittsburgh, Charlotte. Get out there, Charlotte. Last time I was there, Christian
00:54:38
McCaffrey came. That was my excitement. And that was when he was on the Panthers.
00:54:43
You should do that for every story I tell. It's over there all boring. >> No, my It's just a joke, but I I can't
00:54:50
get it to stop. And I'm not kidding. >> Jesus. I'm trying to read my dates.
00:54:55
>> Sorry. Oh, zoom again. It's Charlotte. >> You're like, it's Charlotte.
00:54:59
>> San Antonio. >> Pittsburgh. >> Pittsburgh. >> Pittsburgh.
00:55:05
>> Yes. >> And that's it. Oh, Pittsburgh and Nashville. The the Ryman.
00:55:11
>> Oh, the Ryman. I played that. >> I love that. >> That's kind of a classic.
00:55:15
>> Oh, yeah. The old theater. >> Have you got new material from the special? I mean, new You got new stuff,
00:55:22
right? >> Pretty much new. >> That'll be That's the day Bus Boys
00:55:27
opens, so maybe we'll go run around, find a theater. >> Well, you got my ticket. Paul and I are
00:55:33
both going to buy a ticket. >> I can't wait till you and Paul see it. And then you have a discussion of like
00:55:37
what do we say? I just have one question. >> Just think of one joke that was funny we
00:55:45
could repeat and just say like just that. We'll just say that. >> Yeah. We'll just we'll just be like so
00:55:52
uh so you had fun doing it, right? >> And look like fun. >> Look like fun, you know. And um
00:55:59
>> you guys were really out there. >> Yeah. You >> you're taking swings. You did what you
00:56:05
wanted to do. >> Exactly. Yeah. >> You know, these compliments. >> Yeah. I like that. And I take them as
00:56:11
compliments. Oh, that's nice. Thank you. >> Well, look, it's hard to make a movie.
00:56:16
>> It's very hard. >> Here's the first review. This worthless
00:56:21
juvenile offensive piece of [ __ ] Every reviewer is like typing out the review now and go,
00:56:30
"Well, maybe I'll see it, maybe I won't." But this is a good one.
00:56:34
>> Well, I mean, they say reviewer now. It's kind of fancy. But first of all,
00:56:38
they in the oldie times they call them critics. So, hey critic, why are you writing such critical stuff? Check my
00:56:45
name out, dude. But the other thing is is that Instagram, Facebook, all the worldwide web decides about the critics
00:56:54
don't mean dick. >> People that want to see it'll see it. Um, all right. It's nice seeing you, D.
00:57:00
I'm going to have some gum now. >> Okay. Um I'm going to have lunch,
00:57:06
>> but stay on the line. >> You stay in the line. Don't get >> we fade out.
00:57:20
>> Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow
00:57:24
on your favorite podcast app. Give us a review, fivestar rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with
00:57:31
a friend. >> If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on
00:57:35
video now. >> Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by Danny Carvey
00:57:40
and David Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior
00:57:48
producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated
00:57:54
Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogerty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa
00:58:01
Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gainner, Shan Cherry, Kurt Kourtney, and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out
00:58:10
with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at fly onthewallsey.com.
00:58:18
That's audacy.com.