00:00:00
[Laughter] hard topic I'm telling you I fluff and folded I have my secrets I have my
00:00:08
ointments and my oils and my moisturizers but when I am no longer on camera in life maybe you know in Italy
00:00:17
cruising around I'm going full Letterman this Dutch main goes downtown trims down
00:00:24
this goes way out covers all the sins no more Adam's Apple even any chest and
00:00:30
neck SS goes all the way down no that uh I I still have a pretty good amount of chest hair um no I don't not really I'm
00:00:38
Norwegian and Irish I mean come on did this this Lan beer does he still have it at that long no he he trimmed about two
00:00:45
Ines off it so it just covers his collar bone I don't know but I think he looks
00:00:51
good in it because you know all the stuff around here not you because you're you're kind
00:00:57
of eternally youthful your new nickname is Peter hand spig Christ s um but uh I think Letterman looks good it's just an
00:01:05
advantage men have women have to get facelifts men can grow a beard so there end of story news flash um you know what
00:01:13
was funny make a clip out of that Patrick he goes not enough but uh I I remember when the weekend for like a
00:01:22
year he had like a bandaid on his face or something and then he had like a fat suit on was that something else who was
00:01:30
that sing the singer the weekend and then he I the weekend I don't think he ever paid off that Band-Aid bit it was
00:01:37
like a long play we're in the era that a Band-Aid it's not a bit it could just be
00:01:42
a fashion choice I remember the first dude I saw dude who had pants on Levi 501s and one pant leg was rolled up on
00:01:52
the top of his knee and first time I saw it just walking around what's up uh no
00:01:56
comment no wound on the Cal but just one pant leg roll up I remember the first time I was going on the lot I remember
00:02:03
the first time a guy said hey dog to me what's up dog what's up dog and that was
00:02:08
kind of cool too so which brings us to Kendrick Lamar should we I know it's oh
00:02:14
Super Bowl yeah we got Super Bowl bits what's up what are we talking bit I'm
00:02:19
just let me just put in context is I don't want to be a grumpy old man everything was better than it you don't
00:02:26
get culture you don't get it go ahead I was born in Brad and introduced to hip
00:02:32
hop in the 90s I said the hip okay here I got three examples I'm saying a hip hop in the 90s or rap if
00:02:42
you will um the first one was Sir Mixel lot I like big butts and I cannot lie can't
00:02:51
lie lie that's funny very potent really I got good B and I can lie Cho and got
00:02:59
it super catchy get St one of your favorites I believe which I think also is crazy brilliant Mama Said Knock You
00:03:08
Out Mama Said Knock You Out by LL Cool J Mama Said Knock You Out yeah the beginning is good so it has an Anthem I
00:03:15
mean the lyric of Mama My Mother Said Knock You Out and my Madre Madre M Madre KN so it's sort of sweet in a way Mom
00:03:28
Said Knock You out I'm going to knock you out mama said get you in a headlock
00:03:34
I'm going to said kick you in the balls I'm going to kick you in the balls mom
00:03:38
said mom said wrap a pizza around your face I'm gonna wrap a pizza around go
00:03:43
ahead these were all possible lyrics that they had to whittle down uh don't call it a comeback is that it I've been
00:03:50
here for years is that how yeah don't call it a comeback L Cool J is cool that's a great beginning too he was on
00:03:58
yeah don't call to come back I like Al Cool J I think he also he was on SNL as
00:04:03
the host and I had him in church chat in read through and then for whatever reason he was perfectly good for
00:04:11
whatever reason his part got cut I wasn't sure the reason I did it by you I don't remember it wasn't a big part but
00:04:18
then later on heit job by sidled up and kind of was very serious goes what was wrong with what I do what what I do I
00:04:27
said what I do wrong I said Lauren said Said Knock You Out ah I'm said cut you
00:04:32
out knock him out okay two more just before we go to uh Kendrick Lamar who before we go to commercial seems like a
00:04:38
beautiful person um Snoop Dog throws that in Snoop which one Jin and Juice Drop It
00:04:48
Like It's Hot was the first one I went holy I played a day in the life for my
00:04:54
kids and they put on Drop it like it's hot Drop it like it's hot Drop it like
00:04:58
it's hot St but talk about crazy catchy great also Jin and Juice I Like Big Butts Drop It Like It's Hot Mama
00:05:08
Said Knock You Out and then the other thing I was introduced to hip hop and rap was Eminem with a real Slim J I
00:05:15
please stand up I please stand up and so this is my introduction to how I perceive
00:05:22
K this a big wind up I think I know where you're headed though no I I don't
00:05:28
what about CN I don't know if I understand it but he sounds like an Auctioneer
00:05:40
kendri I mean I'm not I'm saying Mama Said Knock You Out and all I got I
00:05:45
couldn't get acier now I don't know I like Mama Said Knock You Out well catchy hookie I mean
00:05:59
I think one song in there I sort of knew uh but I will say I didn't know them all
00:06:04
fine that that show is not for me fine and I like the GNX because I have a Grand National remember I had one for a
00:06:11
long time I just want to understand it and I want the commenters to help me I'm
00:06:16
not [ __ ] on it I'm just saying I don't quite get it and the early hip-hop
00:06:23
rap was uh very very clear to me and I just trying to understand it also the whole disc song
00:06:30
about Drake I've heard Drake stuff I really like it but that's uh kind of I
00:06:35
agree that I listen if a song is about you're in a fight with someone or you're
00:06:39
mad at someone is that really the most peaceful fun Super Bowl bring us all together song or is it like he [ __ ] you
00:06:46
to some guy and everyone's like I know what he's talking about fine also great
00:06:52
visually I didn't I got a little snoozy in the middle but great visually as far
00:06:56
as all the outfits the dancing and you need that element you definitely need that I think I give uh Kendrick K an A+
00:07:04
for for the aesthetic the dancing and I did watch I uh read an article in the New York
00:07:12
Times and it broke down all his visual elements in other words they used to call them m m MTV videos and they are
00:07:21
sort of brilliant the visual is brilliant [Music] but you know I'm I'm gonna it's growing
00:07:28
on me already the more I do do it but you know yeah I mean there was a lot to that
00:07:35
Super Bowl also uh well the whole thing you watched it Chiefs got smoked um oh how about
00:07:43
this the Kanye commercial that he paid for 7 million for that Buie that commercial on his iPhone which he's done
00:07:49
that move before which is pretty funny paid 7 million films his iPhones I have no money left here's my grills go to my
00:07:56
website fine ends it with going uh um wasting time but what I didn't know you go to the website what is it
00:08:07
Dana uh yeezy.com or ye.com you go there it's one item T-shirt with a swastic on I saw
00:08:15
that so listen we all have different merch I'm listening we all have different merch
00:08:23
it's very interesting merch uh oh Shopify how long does it take to take that down how long do you have to be
00:08:29
told maybe this isn't is it a joke is it what I mean he's controversial but at a
00:08:34
certain point it's just beyond controversy where people just go hey come on now what are you doing what are
00:08:39
you doing and are those checks clearing for 7 million for I guess so but well as
00:08:45
far as stealing Focus like I put the bookends he was there with his teeth and I I I couldn't really talk you know this
00:08:53
are my new girls and uh you know uh I could I again this all I could do on an iPhone uh you know because I paid uh so
00:09:03
much for the commercial $8 million so it's kind of brilliant and then the book
00:09:07
end to that is Bill Murray on hey you know you might want to get another beer but meantime you know Bill Murray but
00:09:15
yahoo.com and I don't know what product that was for unless it was for Yahoo I
00:09:19
think it was for Yahoo oh I didn't even see that one but I knew he did something
00:09:23
I thought for Yahoo uh also Kanye's uh wife girlfriend wife uh-uh uh her family
00:09:32
lovely person lovely gal as my mom would say lovely g such now she she keeps defending herself and her family keeps
00:09:41
going hey I'm not I'm here by my own free will I'm not like kidnapping and
00:09:47
then I want to say to her maybe don't say that yet let's see how how things go
00:09:53
because you're not even going to get a l job at Lady Foot Locker after this I
00:09:57
it's very hard when this is all on your resume to go oh you should have that in
00:10:02
your back pocket he made me do all that I'm the greatest person in the world I
00:10:06
would I wouldn't be any part of that because he's saying things causing disruptions where you want to
00:10:10
go maybe I was brainwash let me let's just say that because it gets you out of
00:10:16
it it's your one free pass right that you know what I'm saying yeah uh that
00:10:21
relationship you know my blink is it's not really equal it looks like one person in the relationship sh is more
00:10:30
dominant than the other I'll leave the the listeners to viewers to figure out
00:10:34
which one um could really got those two I have to say it's a it's a click friendly world
00:10:42
if you really um I just thought yeah two kids in love two kids in love let's let's
00:10:49
leave it it's a story you've seen a million times those two I just would
00:10:53
like to it's a Hallmark movie it is it's look I can say they're they're an
00:10:58
adorable couple and no one can say they're not yeah you remember the song Frankie Valley
00:11:06
1983 no one knows what goes on go on Behind Closed Doors Charlie Rich I think or Charlie Rich right I don't know where
00:11:15
I I put a bookmark guy in there when behind Clos door it's a little cryptic isn't it I mean that would be good for
00:11:24
like the the serial killer no one knows what goes on behind clothes behind yeah so maybe they're
00:11:35
just a cute they're playing Scrabble every night I don't know maybe it's all
00:11:39
act it's got to be partially an act hey would you like some cocoa sure babe you
00:11:44
mind seethrough thong while you make what's on Tu I wish I was at a Kansas City chief
00:11:52
super party I mean everyone's got jerseys on momes they've got beers flowing woo oh [ __ ] we got this whoa
00:12:01
[ __ ] Chiefs 34 zip they said there's an after party for 11,000 people and I saw today a DJ was
00:12:11
like might as well be going people literally magic marker they had a Mahon Jersey on and just crossed
00:12:20
it off I mean just fair weather fans Jesus yeah I don't I I don't have any
00:12:26
big hot takes as Super Bowl I didn't even see all the commercials because you
00:12:29
want to talk during the commercial then you're like when do I talk during the
00:12:32
Super Bowl I want to watch the game I'm not allowed to talk during the commercials I'm
00:12:38
not so yeah it's a real you it's a real it was um mind bogging glad happy for the
00:12:48
Eagles their defensive line is extraordinary Jaylen Herz has always been underrated I'll do some X andos
00:12:55
here yeah give us and our producer said before we came on you know oh boy Jason Kelsey is it sorry Travis
00:13:05
Travis I'm sorry do you have his shimmery shirt no pull it up if you see it it was
00:13:12
it's it's the classic situation you don't want he's doed up to go into the
00:13:16
party which is a Super Bowl which used to be the guys were just like hey we come in sweats we get ready for the now
00:13:21
it's a full New York Fashion Week they walk in they all have purses they all
00:13:25
have you know hats and stuff I know yellow mustard socks with little copper shoes exactly uh lots of buttons and
00:13:32
little collars um you walk in like Mary Poppins and then they go okay Cam Newton
00:13:37
was good this good-look dude has fine it makes people think when you don't win
00:13:42
you put too much time into that because afterwards poor Kelsey walking out with his shimmery shirt one like I mean he
00:13:50
looks super cool at clar CL on the bench Clark Gable hair he had little coming Downy but then I they didn't publ if he
00:13:59
went over and sat NE next to Taylor and he goes hey bab stands during the game and after the game when they
00:14:06
lost and she scooched over she actually moved over I mean does she pick outfits because I don't know I couldn't pick all
00:14:14
this [ __ ] I think that guy could retire from football and become another um Action Hero you know this guy's life was
00:14:24
already all green lights there was no there was no bumps it's these great looking he's tall that's all anyone
00:14:30
cares about and he's a football player and he's Rich so there just um and
00:14:35
actually he's um yeah he's he's uh Jason is reti pry funny and and charismatic
00:14:42
he's he's good in commercials Jason he Kel he retires he was the one on here last year and they win the Super
00:14:52
Bowl so yeah and then he retires but he has to go root for the Eagles and against
00:14:59
brother sort of right sort of but I mean he would have got a ring missed it by 12 months but that guy
00:15:06
but he got 34 commercials out of it so he's doing all right those Kelsey Brothers they're they're an ecosystem
00:15:13
now and his wife and I mean it's it's just they're everywhere all at once like
00:15:20
I thought the mom had a cooking show was that just a rumor we started no the mom
00:15:23
has a cooking show the entire extended family it's it's really cool to see an
00:15:27
empire built from the ground round up it's they're the new [Music] Kardashians so hu Dana that's uh this is
00:15:42
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00:16:34
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00:16:42
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00:16:44
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00:16:48
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00:16:57
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00:18:05
okay so Dana you have 100 businesses going and um I am busy good Lord yeah uh ship station who's one of our sponsors
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you know that's right they will help fix that I mean I'm exhausted after the
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holidays it's just the chaos of managing all this mailing I have to do and shipping I have to do you need a little
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listen some of these places they have so much going on they don't have time they
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don't have enough employees you get some help here it's chaotic you get you
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click of a button that's important you don't think it is let me ask you a
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chaos of order fulfillment with the shipping software that delivers switch to shipstation today that's
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shipstation.com and it's code Superfly we always joke about artists my brother's into art my brother banana was
00:20:03
bad enough yeah Italian artist sells invisible sculpture for 18,000 now it's getting too it's getting too
00:20:13
much it's too much well or not enough I I don't know I mean that's one way to
00:20:19
look at it I think I told this story but I dropped shrooms in the early 80s and went to the
00:20:26
LA County Art Museum my friends and I and it was like a can a just a 40 foot white canvas with one red dot in the
00:20:33
middle and we we had to go out in the stairwell we laughed so hard we couldn't
00:20:39
even I mean this stuff is this is a 18,000 where do you feel like I'm not paying 20 for invisible nothing 20 is my
00:20:49
my top that's my ceiling well here's our experiment we're going to book you at a
00:20:54
big theater you know you sell tend to sell tickets big theater with the mic there ladies and gentlemen David Spade
00:21:01
is going to stay backstage for an hour enjoy the show we can call it not David Spade and then it's just a mic stand and
00:21:09
not me M for triple the ticket price triple yeah because it is better to not hear me talk in all well I it's just
00:21:17
fake art uh oh this is this this just in okay here's Travis leaving oh here we
00:21:24
go look no one's around he's like God why didn't I just bring a flannel shirt yeah it's I get it it's
00:21:35
just life you know the high and the low you know just but the biggest game and this it that's the most be the hardest
00:21:42
thing no matter how good things are going to take it's like gambling in Vegas it's fun to win but losing makes
00:21:48
you feel so much worse it's so it's lower than the high is than the high I
00:21:52
liked what Tom Brady said and I thought he did a great job announcing so I like his announcing he's very very bright but
00:21:59
at the end he said he was in 10 Super Bowls he doesn't remember the seven that
00:22:05
he won and there's still Super Bowl I don't know which one or all three that
00:22:09
he lost he still isn't over it thinks about it it's you with the Paul McCartney
00:22:22
interview hey man look you don't have that kind of brain you're like pretty good I just cry
00:22:30
myself no why did I interrupt why am I interrupting now why won't I shut up why
00:22:35
did I have coffee before I came on this show the David Spade show oh why because
00:22:40
I made fun of that Paul McCartney you always say that no no I and I'm kidding
00:22:44
too K well Tom Brady had a big Goofy watch on and I have to say love Tom Brady looks very thin but the guy cannot
00:22:51
look bad bless his heart just like Travis cannot take a bad picture and but he had this this not I'm not going to
00:22:57
say goofy watch my taste super blingy uh and then it was like orange yeah and that feels like not his style
00:23:08
look at look at how huge and orange and diamonds and I mean he's so effing rich
00:23:13
like we got it I like that Daytona to the right or whatever that one is called uh the just the Rolex I just don't like
00:23:20
anything super showy and uh that looks like a Swatch is it possible it was $750,000
00:23:28
that's what I read when I went over the morning newspapers every time I read it
00:23:32
it's higher but that doesn't even Shock Me If he if he's worth 200 million it
00:23:37
doesn't blow me away that it's that much um is it okay to say that maybe I'm
00:23:43
a Buddhist monk in a previous Buddhist monk life I don't really like or want
00:23:47
things I stole this jacket as you know this is a Gap t-shirt I sto I stole this jacket and I have it I have a $10 Cassio
00:23:58
watch it's in the drawer listen not about material things don't everything
00:24:05
you own owns you back news flash David this sweat this yeah I have I have a lot of quarter Zips you know what that means
00:24:13
this I see it and uh not embarrassed okay your closet's the size of a Macy's
00:24:22
department store you know I know some famous person and I won't tell you who it was a famous
00:24:30
couple and their house was so big they had a party and went in the closet and then they said oh and here's how they
00:24:37
get their clothes button like the laundr mat like a laundry mat oh yeah like when you get
00:24:44
your dry cleaning goes up around all their clothes come down they take it off the hook they're all numbered good crazy
00:24:54
I was like you're so rich if I had your money I'd throw mine away this is
00:24:57
ridiculous does do they wrap it in plastic and say we can't find come back later why can't
00:25:04
get stain out you you you need to have a ticket no we can't get too much heat on
00:25:10
it yeah it melt you need ticket um so that was them being rich all right next Story look we're really
00:25:19
moving I know why do we need to move I don't know I by the way I'll tell
00:25:23
everyone before I get to the sickening [ __ ] story I was on bus boys all day one of Nate Diaz was late today so
00:25:30
that's what pumped us back and what do you say to these UFC guys he's the most
00:25:34
badass guy and I'm like texting Theo in his trailer go Theo you better rip him a
00:25:38
new [ __ ] [ __ ] when he walks in you're a producer put on your producer hat and go to town let just teach him a
00:25:45
lesson in front of everyone read him the riot act and he did not um neither did I uh but then Nate had to push me around
00:25:55
in this scene and he kept elbowing me I'm like huh your hand okay you ever hit
00:26:01
anybody this hard can't hurt steel I kept saying stuff like that and he's
00:26:06
just like because obviously I'm a 1,00% [ __ ] but uh I was wait a minute so you
00:26:12
were on bus boys today yeah and you got around here just got wrapped right and you got manhandled yes by Nate Diaz yeah
00:26:22
who's who's super badass very nice dude he was on yesterday too absolutely Lee
00:26:28
was in yesterday we had a crack up yesterday we had a lot of people in there it was pretty fun God this thing
00:26:33
I'm smelling a hit I don't want to jinx it you're going to laugh I'm going to
00:26:36
show you some clips next time I see you let's show the a Clips no well let's talk about it's raining
00:26:45
spiders this is my on maybe worst nightmare yeah spiders are falling from the sky in Brazil spider ocalypse
00:26:55
everything's apocalypse mhm everything's eddon spider gedon mageddon apocalypse is is it not like shocking oh
00:27:04
then now they show it look oh sick oh wow cool Dana what would you do uh I would look I would protect you I'd take
00:27:13
out my phone I would take out I would just shoot my shotgun straight up they're
00:27:19
riding the jet streamers spiders can't really fly I think they have all these
00:27:26
um all these what you call webs you know so they all across all these trees and they get on them all and then they're
00:27:34
just that you look above and then they like all just drop or something but they jump and they're they're going to hit
00:27:40
the ground eventually they can't fly they can't gain altitude you're you're kind of ruining
00:27:46
the story but yeah um well you know they're they're called uh spy birds and
00:27:52
they're half bird half spider here's my next story spiders are driving all over
00:27:57
Brazil and people their cars you're like they can't drive they can land on your
00:28:02
car they can crawl on it while these spiders are I don't even care if they're poisonous I can't take
00:28:09
it it's too scary I don't like anything coming from the sky at me and mass
00:28:14
spiders ants comedians who just did an open mic just flying through the sky hundreds of
00:28:21
them do my podcast oh you got to hear my Super Bowl chunk no look at my YouTube clip I can do crowd work too I say where
00:28:34
are you from then I tear him apart I don't know what I'm going to say but I
00:28:38
kind of do I pretend that something I've said a thousand times is fresh don't hate me
00:28:45
for it I say are you on a date I already know what I'm going to say no matter
00:28:50
what their answer is I'm this I'm still coming at you I'm going to reinsert the
00:28:54
premise so people understand what we're doing uh spiders were flying in the sky
00:28:58
now we're saying comedians from open mics are flying toward the ground toing
00:29:02
toward you in the parking lot or the Green Room two nuns walk into a bar I don't give a [ __ ] that's my best bit can
00:29:10
you get me six tickets to SNL I don't know why I'm talking like this just
00:29:14
because they're not even for me they're for my friend is this on is this on
00:29:22
hey all right hey do you mind if we flipflop I got another spot at the Laugh Factory CLI C to our clip
00:29:31
editor he just quit okay next story you heard about Nate Diaz about spiders and now oh this
00:29:40
is okay just play it there's a guy narrating but I just want to play it because you know things get stuck in the
00:29:47
sewer is it a baby is it a deer is it a person Heather okay chainsaw or bolt okay B Heather
00:29:59
you're cheating I know you're cheating my choic what is it is it a bird dog cat no it's a
00:30:10
rat no well look at freaking what the freak is it that's a New York rat that's a rat a 20 lb rat oh
00:30:27
man I this is the most nauseous I've been on this the most nauseous oh my God
00:30:36
you can turn that guy down oh wow remember that that song Ben there's a movie about a huge rat well what is
00:30:48
what's a guinea pig or what what's the thing that looks like a rat chupacabra no one time my house in in
00:30:56
Cino and there's this noise outside open the door and I thought I sound like I
00:31:00
thought I saw a 40b rat and I think it was some other thing that looks like a rat you know I'm all for like rat traps
00:31:09
and I'm but if you have to wrestle a rat that's that's too big you can't wrestle them it if if you
00:31:17
can saddle up a rat that's too big a rat if you can saddle it up and ride it
00:31:24
around a county fair if your rat has a saddle it might be too big to be a rat if a camel looks at your rat and
00:31:36
goes whoa that's a big one you might have a large rat on your hands if your rat is so big it has an
00:31:46
iPhone you might be with a rat that's too big if your rat is so big that it demands you pay your rent on the first
00:31:55
of the month that's too big of rat if you're driving with a rat in your car
00:32:01
and you can legally use the car pool Lane it's too big if you're you see a
00:32:07
creature and its little paws go up and I go I know I'm too large for my species
00:32:14
that might be a big rat if a rat can beat you in arm wrestling if you playble with an entity
00:32:24
that looks like a rat that spells out rat hole and gets offended by its own word
00:32:31
score that's what it wrote in Scrabble rat hole and it was mad at its own word
00:32:37
score but that's a triple score Scrabble good Scrabble your new nickname that'll get me out it I'm looking for
00:32:44
names for my tour but I'm almost there I have one didn't I have one did you have
00:32:49
a good one for the tour yeah we can't call it pipsqueak life we're not doing
00:32:54
that if that's your idea nope uh humans are vantastic no you Tom seor has a good one
00:33:02
it's called it's a world tour it says I'm coming all over but that was Howard
00:33:07
Stern's book right coming all over to you didn't Howard sper sperm do that look it up Heather or Greg Howard
00:33:17
Stern book I think his was called Miss New Yorkers Miss America was one of them maybe uh well I thought of a
00:33:29
Howard comes again Howard comes again so David Spade comes again no I think comes
00:33:35
all over is better for for a world tour I'm wearing a hat now [ __ ] you [ __ ] off
00:33:41
I can't take it I can't take it because my forehead is so blind with this have
00:33:46
to look at it I look at you on this side of the zoom and so people are like look
00:33:51
straight in the camera I'm like I wish we could flip-flop it where you're on
00:33:54
this you know what I'm going to put the camera over here next time oh this this is after five million shows
00:34:01
ier camera yeah instead here's me looking at the camera here's me looking
00:34:05
at Dana I'll tell you something that's very charismatic I saw a guy do it you know
00:34:11
these people who listen to music and then listen to it and tell you if they like it or not like their first song
00:34:17
they It For the First Time British guy like this he's putting on day in the life and he's looking over here like
00:34:23
he's listening I'm looking to the right yeah and then he would do this he would
00:34:27
go go you know he's looking you see what I'm doing what is he looking at well
00:34:33
he's looking at something countdown he's looking like this and then he would share it with us
00:34:38
like I read the news go back and like oh and I thought man like he likes that part it was charismatic should do it for
00:34:46
me so I can see it okay look away and then look right at the camera I heard the news today boy yeah yeah yeah see
00:34:55
that's you man made the grave Heather has seen it she's laughing no by the way it's the easiest thing in
00:35:04
the world you have a cook watching a guy cook and he goes okay he's putting the
00:35:08
pan down well okay this guy's doing this a lot of I wouldn't do that they're
00:35:14
playing they're playing I'mma walrus and like I like that song you know I'd never
00:35:18
heard before yeah they show they play rap for people they play great songs from history and you get to hear they
00:35:23
have a music coach I don't mind those there's there a lot of beetle listening to The Beatles for the first
00:35:31
time oh yeah and then they're like I gotta say man these Beatles are wild you
00:35:35
know we were talking about o Darlin the other day and O Darlin they said Paul someone saw Paul
00:35:42
before the show and said do you do o darling and he said it's it's probably
00:35:47
the hardest one in my voice I'm thinking wow we should have asked him that if
00:35:51
it's true we but why is it is it when he goes I never make it alone he wrote it
00:35:58
Lennon want thought he could have sang it better because Lennon had that is Shing a bab Paul recorded it like five
00:36:04
times they'd already had on his own and brought it in and then I already did it
00:36:08
on the last guy time came in and shredded his voice like he's never done before or since so that is his believe
00:36:17
me when I tell you he goes hi I can't it [Applause] oh please me yeah so that was I
00:36:31
know side one we should ask him next time he'll never do it again let's ask
00:36:36
him who decides who sings What did we ask him no I mean usually the songwriter sings it and if there's it's a
00:36:46
co-written song early in the day like he go they do day trip got a good reason and then joh go taking the easy way out
00:36:55
yeah that's yeah classic back Andy yeah I forgot about Day Tripper no there's too many songs it's unreal I'm
00:37:05
with you it's unreal they too much too much genius itis it's a it's a I was
00:37:11
hung up on I'm looking through you I was gonna ask him that's the only s song
00:37:16
right he sounds like he's talking condescending to someone you remember it's the only time he's this about Jane
00:37:22
Asher I think or a girlfriend I'm looking through you where have you been it's to choer you know he grew up or
00:37:31
like he says she was too good for him and now look at me how I'm doing something like that I'm looking through
00:37:39
you and you nowhere uh yeah Paul just yeah if you listen to the song it's it's hard to ask
00:37:47
Paul M even now even if he was on right now ask at gonna say yeah ask him a question that he hasn't been asked but I
00:37:56
do I the only reason had podcast regret which I've said before is I realize when
00:38:01
you interview anyone yeah not even Paul McCartney they cannot toot their own horn or pound their chest but if you
00:38:10
introduce something that's brilliant then they can talk about it so yeah yeah
00:38:15
all right moving on what's the next one we're educating today no we are oh this
00:38:20
is Mexican squid games would you do this game Dana it's a okay it's a bull ring
00:38:26
people are lined up I think the trick is when it when it gets you lay down flatter and it runs
00:38:32
over you this is a real contest it's got lawsuit all over safe so they is it safe
00:38:39
no well why aren't they getting killed every day I because if they get to the
00:38:44
other side they get like a 100 bucks or something oh it says winning team gets 24 cans of
00:38:51
coke you can turn it down but it's the squid Games music so they all crawl like
00:38:58
flat in an arena and and a bu is running over the top of them but they're not all
00:39:03
getting killed they're they're in an arena trying to cross the other side of
00:39:07
the Arena the bull is just [ __ ] loose which would never happen in America because no regulations yeah litigious so
00:39:16
this bull goes around just starts wailing on people and they go flat when it comes by that's their trick it does
00:39:22
not always work it's not a perfect science and and I think we watched it a too short because I think someone gets
00:39:31
bumped I'll just say this the nonregulated society is interesting I was doing a gig in
00:39:39
aao and I was out on my Veranda looking down on the beach and I see like a maybe
00:39:45
five six-year-old walking up to a guy talking talking talking he buys some cigarettes liks the cigarette the guy
00:39:52
gives him a boost he's be bearback on a stallion a horse five years of age smoking a cigarette just going down the
00:39:59
beach I'm like what the where is the safety helmet well the old days you know
00:40:05
we didn't wear helmets for sure on our bikes nope I'm sure I had a few concussions I could do a wheelie for a
00:40:12
quarter mile I don't like to talk about that I know Paul McCarney doesn't beat
00:40:16
his own that means you did something to the chain if you're popping your stingr
00:40:20
no and it's you wish you wish you just did it with a store bought Sears Bronco
00:40:26
pure Carry Underwood quad muscles that I have and I was just like once I got up I
00:40:32
could balance it and be like oh my God oh my God I kept going I'm like oh my
00:40:36
God everyone was freaking out did anyone witness this or is this a figment your Spade
00:40:44
amation you probably went five feet let's be honest this is another one of my little fibs but I think I did do that
00:40:51
I would skate no footage to cut to you could skateboard you said and I would go down a hill Long Long Hill
00:40:58
zigzag down I wouldn't do it now I was well look I mean a steep Long Hill without on a on a board with no helmet
00:41:06
or safy called The Guinness Book you know what's funny about the Guinness Book World Records it's now the
00:41:13
Guinness website or something I mean book book sounded better would you if you tried to qualify for something of
00:41:20
the world's world I thought this the other day I thought of this the other day because it was like it was I swear I
00:41:27
saw something odd maybe it's today but I saw something odd like guy gets bit in
00:41:32
the nuts by a cobra 60 times in an hour and I like that's a Guinness World this
00:41:36
cannot be a world record this cannot be anything that anyone's trying to do but
00:41:41
if you pick a weird one you can win well what did uh Mr Beast didn't he at one
00:41:48
point just repeat someone's name for 24 hours I don't know Kelsey gramar Kelsey
00:41:53
Grammar Kelsey gr he's Rich enough maybe you should do that kind of a genius could we get him on here and
00:41:59
just have a a gen we should get Mr Beast on anyway let's try to well I'm going to
00:42:02
ask my guy tomorrow cuz one of my buddies knows him let's try to there's a
00:42:06
couple people I wanted to get on yeah we'll pair him with a beasty boy you know just because the symmetry of that
00:42:12
that's kind of funny right yeah all right next one what is she this is a podcast so
00:42:21
girl's about to say something I don't know what okay so I across this really
00:42:25
insane Elvis Presley Theory I'm gonna kind of break it all down for you died
00:42:29
in 1977 family never wanted to release the the public evidence of his death so basically all the details we got
00:42:36
speculation we thought maybe it was too many drugs system we thought maybe he was being overworked so his family in
00:42:43
the year of 2027 we'll release those 2027 2027 reac 50 years after I like reaction whoa this is where there's a
00:42:53
man named Jesse Garen and he claims that he is Elvis he's been claiming he's
00:42:58
Elvis Presley for quite some time myal Institute well yeah but so there's a doctor that worked in this
00:43:07
hospital with Jesse and during his time there he was like I just feel this weird
00:43:12
skeptical gut feeling about this guy Jesse who's claiming that he's Elvis so
00:43:16
let's do a DNA test and let's see what we find guess what they found what
00:43:21
Jesse's DNA was the exact match of Elvis's DNA same DNA okay Jesse's DNA
00:43:27
matches the doctor's like this is really weird let's do something further how un
00:43:31
is this this I don't know there's a book it says a match with Jess's what do you
00:43:36
know it's a match so this mental patient mental institute patient yes this is
00:43:41
real match elv but also Elvis's parents okay so obviously people are thinking
00:43:46
maybe this is Brother Elvis was born as a twin but hold a phone up go that's it what happened
00:43:57
what happen he had a twin brother they showed proof they showed a book I used to do this bit and I'll just
00:44:05
do a little bit of it flight of FY you sound like you believe it um I just had a flight of fancy of
00:44:11
people who passed that are in a bunker beneath Las Vegas and it would be Bobby and Jack Kennedy Elvis and Hitler and
00:44:20
they're all in there and they fak their death and they're going to take over the
00:44:24
world so they're just hanging out for decades in there uh Elvis would you tell
00:44:29
Adolf to stop staring at me come on Elvis I mean come on Hitler I'm Elvis you know you know Bobby don't like
00:44:37
it when you're stare at him I I believe that Adolf Hitler doesn't know what he's
00:44:42
doing I don't know what he's saying okay I'm the movie executive okay could one of them not be Hitler but
00:44:51
this exact same situation maybe could be marily Monro this is my pitch right back
00:44:55
the funny part is I'm I'm going to put on a dress and go shaft over you want to
00:44:59
come with me Jack yes I will go with you they're in Las Vegas in a bunker I will
00:45:03
stay here and teach uh teach uh Adolf uh English Adolf repeat after me see sh Spot Run fight oh look Bob he he doesn't
00:45:16
have one word English in there he just it's just gibberish no he can do better
00:45:20
adol repeat after me c spot wa so what do you think I got a movie deal well I don't get that one once he
00:45:31
can't talk at all he just makes noises right well because then well I'm rushing
00:45:35
it it's a 20 minute bit for my and Elvis is like you know B we've been in here
00:45:41
faked our death been in here 40 years he don't he don't understand hide or Tay
00:45:46
English oh yeah Elvis you're wrong he does oh watch this H uh a a a a a bird
00:45:54
flew into a cave repeat after me a off a bird front uh flew into a a a a cave come on Bobby he not speaking a
00:46:06
word I believe that Bobby is making progress I don't think he's doing it
00:46:09
because he easy he does it because he's hard all right I'm in okay we'll take it
00:46:16
try to suppress your we'll shoot it in Vegas I will do a longer bit last time
00:46:21
next time I like it oh it's shaft elevator and it goes on and on yeah all right next one we'll come back to
00:46:29
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and Hotel okay look at this story okay don't read the comments just just listen
00:48:46
to The Story So a guy's pitching to his kid an older guy okay the dad throwing
00:48:51
his son some wholesome BP went viral this week and this 17u travel ball team Twitter account felt the need to chime
00:48:57
in with some constructive criticism which provoked Ryan Murphy to ask the question you for real which is a great
00:49:03
question Ryan but Evensville baseball program apparently had time that day and they doubled down a thoughtful critique
00:49:09
for youth baseball players maybe the only issue is that the guy in the video is Mike Trout who saw that one coming I
00:49:17
love a good twist ending trout himself even got in on the fun throwing a few emojis on the thread I'd love to know
00:49:22
Mike Trout's most used emojis are so the dad's throwing Mike Trout pictures and a
00:49:28
guy sees the video and goes I'm a local high school coach and I'll show you what's wrong with this kid's
00:49:37
swing and then he wrote it out on Twitter and they wrote back we're all good over here and he goes listen I'm
00:49:43
just giving you some friendly advice the guy needs to lean back a little more this guy's going to be a uhhuh big
00:49:49
hitter and they go it's Mike Trout and he goes oh Mike Trout's one of the biggest stars
00:49:57
in the history of basball listen it goes too fast that was too fast again these are [ __ ] bombing this could be our
00:50:07
comeback bit I don't think it will be uh it might be easier to understand this is
00:50:11
just there's a mannequin challenge now you try to act like you don't move you
00:50:15
know you don't bend we can do it so you look like try to look like a Manakin okay next time
00:50:21
we're at chili that's kind of good right not not too bad that that shirt is the one Farley
00:50:35
worn at the beginning of Tommy Boy that oh yeah that looks like it okay these are human beings with entirely too much
00:50:42
time on their hands what else is on Tik Tok they've been at the park 17 hours
00:50:47
how about we pretend we're manans I love you Charlie it's like girls going get
00:50:51
ready with me and they put on makeup and tell a 90minut story mhm and you're like
00:50:57
I feel like you're getting ready for not going out I feel like this was to get
00:51:00
ready to do this and then you didn't really go anywhere at the end maybe these are this is a theory this it's
00:51:08
just the the clicks and the views will do anything look at us we're [ __ ] the worst most
00:51:15
desperate idiots out there okay let's do one more we got to end on a goddamn High
00:51:20
working you got to get back we got to end you got to get back to the set let me see if this one's any I know they're
00:51:25
going to suck I could just tell [ __ ] I don't know if we should risk it with this one what do you think does
00:51:32
it look funny yet harv University welcomes the 22-year-old Magnus Carlson from Norway who has broken you're all
00:51:38
say this is fake everyone says everything's fake today Magnus plays blindfolded chess and not only that
00:51:44
against 10 of the best chess Magus must remember the position of 32 their movements while calculating 10
00:51:54
moves and counter moves on if it's fake he has a lot of extras at least he puts
00:51:58
some work in Knight to Bishop's Pawn well how does he know Rook they tell him they
00:52:11
moving and he [ __ ] smokes him REM I think he's you know he's not doing any [ __ ]
00:52:20
celebration dances what is that handkerchief one of the best best players in the
00:52:30
world I mean even if they're just 10 that are shitty I'm impressed look at them I don't care
00:52:40
memory the moves off a match and then he writes it all down someone else gets an
00:52:44
autograph I get the whole match wow I'm he he goes hey let me sign this for you
00:52:49
let me write out you can turn it let me let me write down every move I made today he's like Rook to p for Bishop to
00:52:59
well his latest one was that he has a guitar and he's he's he's playing
00:53:05
Blackbird continually over and over again and is they put a bowl on his head and a blindfold around it and he he's
00:53:13
and he's 10 miles away he beat 50 guys just and they keep hitting it with a wooden spoon hold the hitting the ball
00:53:22
and then he he has to tune the guitar night the you he sees these girls that are having
00:53:30
sex with 100 guys at a clip and he's like I have to do something like that but chess wise I'll play I'll play 10
00:53:37
dudes and smoke them so he did a good job I think we end on that that that like five and a that was uplifting that
00:53:44
was like a six but it shows there's some smart people out there yeah definitely
00:53:48
and I got to drop in that I play chess okay uh Dana thanks for coming if you could stick around during the commercial
00:53:54
I want to talk about some other stuff yes remember bus boys bus boys coming February
00:54:01
2028 soon 2028 we'll be in post for the next six years no we're going to whip it out we
00:54:07
only got a week left dude we got a week and half that's it David Spade whips it
00:54:11
out that's your that's your tour this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced
00:54:18
by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss sperman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it
00:54:28
[Music]