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We’re Sick Little Monkeys

July 20, 2026 / 59:39

This episode of Fly on the Wall features David Spade and Dana Carvey discussing celebrity encounters, personal stories, and humorous observations. Key topics include a run-in with Gene Simmons from KISS, a horse incident involving Dana's mother-in-law, and commentary on social media culture.

David shares a story about meeting Gene Simmons at an airport, where they exchanged jokes and reminisced about the KISS Army. He reflects on Simmons' clever marketing strategies and the band's evolution over the years.

Dana recounts a mishap involving his mother-in-law and a horse, which resulted in a broken toe. He humorously describes the incident and the family's reaction, highlighting the unpredictability of animals.

The hosts also discuss the impact of social media on personal experiences, questioning whether people would still enjoy vacations if they couldn't share them online. They touch on the absurdity of modern social media behavior.

Throughout the episode, Spade and Carvey maintain a light-hearted tone, sharing laughs and engaging in playful banter about various topics, including their thoughts on magic and pranks.

TLDR

David Spade and Dana Carvey share stories about Gene Simmons, a horse incident, and the absurdities of social media.

Episode

59:39
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This episode of Fly on the Wall is presented by Amazon Music. >> Amazon Music is your one app for music,
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podcast, and audiobooks. Download the app today and start listening. I'm going to milk it.
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Got so much milk, give some to the kitty. >> And then you go for the And then in the
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eye. >> In the eye. And then likes it anyway. Flicks [laughter] it off. You're in one
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of the biggest bands in the world. And you're like, "Hey, why don't you come back to my house? I'm in Kiss." And
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she's like, "I just blew that guy. He said he was in KISS. >> Yeah. >> Oh, I guess [clears throat] anyone can
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say it, you know. >> How do I know you're in KISS? >> I did have World Cup fever, but it was
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just diarrhea. >> I thought I had World Cup fever, but it was just that poo flu going around.
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>> Okay, welcome to the show. Hey everybody, I'm Carrie. This is Dana. >> And we are fly on the wall. And we are
00:00:54
fly. >> And we are locked and loaded in our perspective studios. Our mics are working and uh we're fluffed and folded
00:01:02
and ready to give you the show of your summer. >> We've grabbed you in the first minute,
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which is what our goal was with that talk. So, now that you're grabbed, >> I will tell
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>> I will say before you go forward, there was something that was a little uh scary
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at first, but it all worked out. It was a story to do with with the farm, and I will tell you that in a few minutes.
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>> Cliffhanger. Okay, let's get my boring one out of the way then. But people sit
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boring and you're David Spade. >> This is me and it's shock. Heather [laughter] said they're all boring.
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>> She's already boring. >> She voted before I even came. >> Wait a minute. Is it about airplanes or
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hotels? >> Yes. Yes. >> Okay. Let me It is about a hotel. >> Close. >> [ __ ] I had a 5050. It's about a
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airplane ride. >> Well, I don't fly at a Burbank a lot. So, I fly to Burbank, which when you fly
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to Sperbank, it's actually >> uh easier because smaller airport >> and less chaotic. Used to be a Taco Bell
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in there. Not anymore. Trivia. >> I always flew out of there back in the day. >> Oh, it's so juicy. Mhm.
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>> So I go there and then >> uh sometimes I get a greeter if it's more complicated situation
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>> and the other greeter came up to our greeter and said, "Hey, we got a we got a star, so we should have meet David."
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Isn't that funny? >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. >> Well, can I ask you a question? People
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don't know when you have agreed or you come off the airplane, do they do they does it say DS? You're trying to find
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your driver, right? They're holding up a little sign. >> It says, >> "We can't tell you." Heather says, "We
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cannot tell you." >> Oh, it's top secret. Okay, got you. >> Fake name for all those autographed guys
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and then they all wait there and look for the driver and they go, "Oh, here he is." Even though they know my flight
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anyway because they get on the goddamn chat rooms. >> Could it be poss? [laughter]
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>> It's just It's just a little fat bug. >> Ed Ed Wilson. [snorts] And so we have a
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secret name, but it doesn't matter. They figure it out. >> But this is on the way there.
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>> So they help you get through. Checked in. I get there. >> Okay. Gotcha. So you have a greeter when
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you come through the airport. >> Yeah. They're going to cut us in line. >> Must be nice.
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>> Looking at how much wingspan I have to do a joke. So [laughter] the the uh celeb in question is an
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actual celeb. You know, sometimes they overell. Oh, I'm intrigued by who this celebrity
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>> someone I would know growing up. Now, the only awkward part is they definitely want us to talk, [laughter]
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>> the the minions, the the people helping >> people that I actually really like these
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people. >> Yeah. Yeah. They're greeters. >> They're they're very nice. I've had them.
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>> I said you guys should meet. And listen, I'm fine with it. I'm just a little awkward. So, here I am. I don't know
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when this dude's coming. I'm with uh Bobby and we're about to go to a gig or something. So anyway, I'm sitting on the
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floor of the airport against the wall, a little past my gate, not really hiding,
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but just like >> down there nibbling a, you know, granola bar. >> They come up and now I feel like the
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biggest [ __ ] I'm on the ground, which no one really sits on the ground, so I feel dumb already. I get up. Uh
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it's Jean Simmons. >> Jean Simmons. Yeah. from Kiss. >> Slow reaction. >> Yeah, Dan. Slow reaction.
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>> Oh, no. I'm just visualizing him. Is he in his um plat platform boots? Is he in
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a suit? What is he? >> He's he's dressed like a regular dude. Now, when you know Kiss like I do
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growing up, the band. >> Yeah. >> Kiss Destroyer album. The big crazy plat. Those were so cool platforms. It's
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like monsters. >> Oh, yeah. They were they are great. So I says to him, I says to my says,
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>> "So you says to Jean Simmons," he says. >> I says, "Right to him." He says, "I
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walked right up to him." I says, "So [laughter] that's a far bit." So I go, "Um, so Jean Simmons,
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>> Three Stooges >> says they tell me on the way up." Is that Three Stooges? >> I think Curly did something like that.
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>> Uh, it sounds like both. Farley, >> but whatever. Everything's Everything's been done. Farley did it better.
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>> So anyway, they said, "By the way, he does a lot of jokes." I said, "Okay." So
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now I've got to be ready. So I stand up. Hey, good to see you. I said, "Uh oh." He he did about five in a row. And
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then I said, "You know, I always liked when I grew up in Cassagrand, Arizona, this little dumpy town." I said, "I
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always we were in the Kiss Army." He said, "Okay." Oh, yeah. Kiss Army is where you could be a part of a club that
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that that listen Army. Absolutely. marketing. >> Yeah. A marketing opportunity which
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started then and he made millions after that and he maybe maybe went a little far with it. Milk so much feed some of
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the kitty. So anyway, I was >> Can you do that exact thing one more time? >> Okay. [laughter]
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Okay. I'm going to milk it. Got so much milk. Give some to the kitty >> and then you go for the And then in the
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eye. >> In the eye. And then likes it anyway. Likes it off. >> [laughter] >> So,
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>> don't adjust your television set. I just asked for >> You heard it right. Yeah.
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>> I was amused. I wanted to see it again. Okay. >> So, I give a few compliments.
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>> Mhm. >> And then he goes, "Uh, you know, I'm I tell women I'm hung like Jesus."
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And [laughter] >> Okay. Not bad. >> Not bad. Physical physical offensive. Had a little
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>> So, a couple of those. Yeah. Yeah. >> And then uh and then it was funny because when I left, Bobby Bobby uh was
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boarding. I I usually board toward the end. So Bobby, >> they they get in the front and they
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brought Jean in the front. And so they're they're walking in and as I'm watching them at the ticket gate, I see
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him look at Bobby blah blah blah. And then he goes like this. [laughter] >> Same joke.
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>> Just Yeah. It's his killer. It's his closer. >> Closer. Yeah. Yeah, [laughter]
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>> he had to do it before they got on the plane, but uh and the and the jetway was
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too small to give it the full effect. >> So, um cuz he did it all the way, you know.
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>> Yeah, >> I'm working with a cam. I have the situation. >> Yeah, >> but [snorts] you still get it. Anyway,
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what I thought was when Kiss >> I'm not saying they jumped the shark, but you have to go somewhere in your
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career. >> Kiss stopped wearing the makeup somewhere along the line. >> Yes. At some point they jettisoned the
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makeup. >> I think the real story is they were sick of not being recognized in public, which
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makes sense. He didn't say that, but I thought, >> right, >> you're in a bar, you're in one of the
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biggest bands in the world, and you're like, hey, why don't you come back to my house? I'm in Kiss. And she's like, I
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just blew that guy. He said he was in Kiss. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Oh, [clears throat] I guess anyone can
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say it. You know, >> how do I know you're in KISS? >> You're just some squid walking around
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going, "Hey, man. I'm in a band. I can't sh [laughter] You know what I having kiss. Yeah. I get the makeup. They go,
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"Who are you?" I'm like, "I'm the guy with the star and his I don't know." >> Big boots and so sparkly and I play the
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bass. >> It's all really hush hush, but I can work in. You give me >> But weren't the fans mad?
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>> I went without the stuff. Yeah. >> They didn't shriek, but that first video they came out, they panned up them
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walking and they're like, "Shake it up or lick it up or everyone was like It's more like curiosity factor for a second.
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And then you kind of just go, they just look like four dudes from New York. >> I think it was a great idea. The thing I
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would say about Jean Simmons, he's probably maybe one of the smartest rock stars of the last 40 years.
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>> If you hear him interviewed, >> hello. >> Like he I don't know if I have an impression. I am Jean Simmons.
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>> He's a little deep. Yeah. >> He's like, you know, I got to be in a rock band. You know, we got to make it.
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And you know, we got to stand out. And that's where the makeup and kiss came in. And then he's like, "Oh, guys, we
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need an anthem. We need a hit and we need an anthem." And what was I want to party all night and roll
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>> and I want to rock every day and party every day. >> And so they're like working this whole
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ecosystem of how to be a rock star with the name, the look. This song was incredibly catchy
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>> and the crowd was really into it. And then later on, I think it was he was on
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a show with uh it was William Shatner had a had a a show where he's like a psychiatrist and they said, "What's your
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favorite song?" My favorite song, my favorite song is the song that makes him the most money, you know, [laughter] and
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it was that I don't have a favorite song. It's the song that makes him the most money. So, I think Jean Simmons is
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just a very clever, smart guy and talented. And every time he's on TV or somewhere, I will always listen to his
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interview. He's ultimately, >> he's still doing it, listen, he's older than me, and I always study people. If I
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find someone older than me out in the world, >> I go, "Let me see how they walk, how
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they talk, what's going." And he looks like a normal dude. He's on a flight. I mean, we're both embarrassingly on
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Southwest. Fine. [laughter] Fine. >> But that'd be very Jean. I'm sure he could afford a G7, but you know, yeah,
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>> why pay for it? It's >> I'm sure I could, too. Anyway, um I couldn't but I did see one time an
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embarrassing situation when you're on Southwest and you see another someone known because a lot of people go to
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Vegas on Southwest. I saw like Backstreet Boys and [ __ ] >> and so we're both racing to say why
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we're usually not on Southwest. Um I never fly this but I had to. It's so close to my house. I mean, you know
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that kind of [ __ ] >> because you're embarrassed. >> Why? I I mean it's not like United is
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that much more domestic. >> No, you should be on a private jet, I think. >> Oh, private jet. Yeah.
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>> The weirdest like And then one time I saw Culio. He just looked like a regular
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black guy with like a regular haircut and then they go, "That's cool." I go, "This dude." And then in like a hat box,
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he had the like the tarantula braids. [laughter] Coolio. He puts him in the over and then at
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night he goes, [laughter] >> "You know that hair? It's like tarantula hair." >> Yeah. [laughter]
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I worked with a comedian who had a little suitcase had to get through security and in it was like dolls and
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[laughter] weird props and a stick of fake dynamite. It's like it didn't go well.
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>> Yeah. He's got Kulio's got the staple gunish. Kadish. Well, Culio. >> Yeah. I mean, I I just travel with
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almost a very realistic because, you know, I've worn a lot of makeup in the day and prosthetics. It's a prosthetic
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mask that makes me look pretty much like Al Gore. So, when I go on Southwest, I just go,
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>> you know, we just I fly commercial and I fly the cheapest to save the planet. I'm
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Al Gore. [laughter] >> Works works every time. Have you ever seen carrot top or someone that other
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prop act at luggage and they're talking to you but they're super sweating eyeing
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the thing going my [ __ ] box better come out or I have no show tonight. [laughter]
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>> I know it's I had props. I had props and it was scary. You know where's my props?
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>> Yeah. It's like he's like I got to go. Here it is. Good douche. It's like something that should be on a U-Haul
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>> heading to the show. Good douche. Good dash. >> Gadouch. Okay, go ahead. What's your
00:12:46
story? That was my dumb story. >> Well, we had some excitement. Well, first of all, people were mad. I was
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calling it a baby horse. Okay, now I know a baby horse that's a boy is a cult. So, that's a cult.
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>> We did say shaky legs cult. >> Shaky legs cult. So, what happened was is uh my mother-in-law came down,
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granny, we call her grand granny, you know, whatever. >> And she loves the horses. So,
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her and Paula were out with the horses at kind of like dusk. You know, Tom and I are watching a Star Trek Next
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Generation in the barn. So, >> they're out filming. >> So, anyway, what happened was sometimes
00:13:28
the big horse McGrosa will get territorial and it happens spontaneous. >> Mrosa, the detective from the 70s.
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>> Yeah, right. The detective from the 70s. 1,200 lb of animal will just lurch that
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roa. I don't know if it's rojo or roa, just lurch. So, grandma got caught in the cross crossfire and the horse went
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full horse and did a rump swish and knocked Granny over. >> Whoa. >> Knocked Paula's mom over.
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>> And who is Roa? Is that a person or an animal? >> It's another horse. We have a quarter
00:14:01
horse that's kind of reddish brown, a little older, a little smaller than Mrosa, which is a Spanish stallion, you
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know. >> And who's the kid? Uh, the cult is the dad is Mrosa. >> No, no, that's the mom. The mom is
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Mrosa. The dad is a a stud that works at a stud farm. And >> it's not monogamous. Put it that way.
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[laughter] >> They are monogous. >> No, there's only one male and 3,000 horses and they all have the same
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husband. Imagine the nightmare of that. >> And when you drive and see the dad, they
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see it's a stud farm and the little new one is like this. [laughter] Hey dad. He's like, "Hey, I What's your
00:14:42
name again? >> What's your name again? What number are you? 3,455. How do you smoke with a hoof?" I don't
00:14:49
know. I just kind of grip it in there. >> Grip it and rip it. >> So, um, I get a text in the barn. Um,
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mom fell. Help. So, then we go out and >> Oh my god. >> She was a little shaky. um she had, you
00:15:07
know, swollen foot and arm was. So we took her to the local little hospital emergency and she's she was cognizant.
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She didn't hurt her head or anything, but we, you know, we went through the CAT scans and the whole thing and she
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she has a broken toe, >> but other than that, they did all the different things. Really
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>> fall, man. If you break your toe, >> arm and sprained ankle. >> So that horse went full horse, you know,
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>> full rump shot. I mean, that's >> that's a big weight hitting you. >> It was leaping toward the other horse,
00:15:40
but Ann got caught in the crossfire and >> Yeah. >> Well, that's all right. I really I mean,
00:15:46
she's so Irish. She can literally never complain. It's It's really adorable. Well, I don't really need any help. It's
00:15:52
not throbbing very much. I'm really totally >> Do you think there's any way there's
00:15:57
going to be vengeance? [laughter] >> No, she would never. But it was really my fault. time shouldn't have been in
00:16:04
the way. >> Maybe a sharp elbow or something out there like let the horse know you get
00:16:10
one freebie. [laughter] >> I know people people humanize animals and go, "What are you doing?" You'll see
00:16:17
a coyote eating a dead bird. Why? It's just a coyote. >> Well, I like everyone lights up the
00:16:25
phones on any horse stories. >> Well, the baby is getting cuter and cuter. I'll send a picture. Yeah.
00:16:34
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provided through Choice Financial Group and Column NA members FDIC. I did have something sort of political happen, but
00:18:02
we don't go really polit. We go we make fun of both sides. >> Well, this is interesting. This is more
00:18:07
of an interesting take. >> Okay. >> I'm at a restaurant. I'm reading a paper and the story says
00:18:16
Lindsey Graham died. Right? You remember that? So, this was a couple days ago. The senator, the waiter who's waiting to
00:18:24
take my order looks down and goes points at it and goes, "I'm so happy." And I thought, "Are you allowed to just
00:18:34
say that at work? You probably shouldn't say that at work." You know what I mean?
00:18:38
>> Yeah. That's >> because you're saying obviously you're on one side, fine. [snorts]
00:18:44
But but even if it's I'm not political really, but just say someone died then you say you're happy. It's a very odd
00:18:50
casual take with a customer, >> right? >> If it was anybody, oh, Hillary Clinton
00:18:56
died. Excellent. Wouldn't that strike you as like, whoa. I mean, >> well, >> I didn't say anything. I'm not ratting
00:19:03
anyone out. >> But, but it started a whole thing because someone next to me said
00:19:08
something to me and I was like, >> he started defending. Then he started [ __ ] on Gavin
00:19:14
Newsome to me. I'm like, "Hey, man. I'm just I'm just holding a paper. I don't know what it's going to say on the
00:19:19
paper, but because I'm holding it. >> So, both sides got dinged. >> Yeah. Both sides got
00:19:25
>> both sides, Republican, Democrat. People are getting >> at press time is still alive and the one
00:19:30
guy is still dead. >> Yeah. I mean, he was a senator. I I don't know. People get very emotional. I
00:19:37
I social media is radicalized. I know it's a hot take, but it's radicalized everybody because the algorithms try to
00:19:44
get everybody angry. >> Heated. Yeah, it works. We just, you know, >> who is the guy that I thought it was
00:19:50
because there's someone that's been having health problems. >> Oh, well that was Mitch McConnell.
00:19:54
>> Mitch McConnell. And I was like, >> he was in the hospital for three weeks. >> I was like, "Oh, [clears throat] it's
00:19:58
not that guy." Even >> they're getting up there. Both sides, they're getting up there.
00:20:03
>> Well, you know, Stro Thurman back in the day was like a hundred. >> Yeah. >> Did you do Stum Thurman on SNL?
00:20:11
>> Yeah. The women don't lag, dude. I kind of like that sort of guy. Then he would
00:20:16
sign the the Senate bill that had [laughter] 102. I'll get there in a minute. >> What were we laughing at on SNL when it
00:20:23
was like Farley was doing Senator Heifflin or was that you? Yeah, it was about >> all those guys talking about porn and
00:20:32
Clarence Thomas. >> Clarence Thomas. The pube on the coke can >> women do not like a certain kind of
00:20:41
genitalia. I was just like really? >> Yeah. You're the old guy talking the word hia little comb over bald cap little
00:20:51
teeth they like more the lesbian >> women like a little romance in the live not looking at funny dinner
00:21:00
[laughter] >> oh Mc Jagger got in a scruff speaking of this >> what >> this is one of our stories
00:21:06
>> that he said >> well they kind of trapped him in it of course okay >> Bruce Springsteen talks a lot about
00:21:12
politics in this show and They said, "Mick, should you do you talk politics?" He goes, "No, I'm I'm just here. I don't
00:21:19
want to lecture the crowd." But just saying that, he goes, "I'm here to have a good time. You know, I don't want them
00:21:23
to think about anything else. Just have fun. I don't want to lecture him." Second he said lecture.
00:21:28
Trump page puts those two against each other. >> Oh, so like he's kind of scolding Bruce
00:21:33
Springsteen. >> Yeah. They have like a picture of Mick like this. Ah, and then Bruce like this.
00:21:38
[laughter] It's the way of the world. >> I know. a 45minute interview. That's really all they're looking for. They
00:21:46
just want one >> or not to make everybody happy. You know, Springsteen's like, >> "Yeah, I don't know if I lecture. I'm
00:21:54
not I'm not attempting to lecture. I'm really working on this underbite. It's been bugging the [ __ ] out of me for 50
00:22:00
years." Anybody in the How many people here have Invisalign? [laughter] I've just won $3,000 on Polymart that
00:22:11
>> because I mentioned invisible >> that you would do a Springsteen impression. >> It was a thousand to one. I tricked you
00:22:17
in just with the underbite. You know, >> we should get Why don't we get sponsored
00:22:20
by Poly Poly Dent? >> We got Poly Market. What's it called? Dentures. Poly Dent.
00:22:27
>> Poly Poly Dentures. What is it? >> Polygrip. >> Polygrip. >> It keeps your dentures in. We should get
00:22:35
sponsored by one of these people. Somebody >> now they can do so much to keep your
00:22:39
teeth, but you get expensive. [laughter] >> Heather filled out a form about our likes and dislikes. So when we get ads
00:22:47
on here, we get more affusively like, oh, Spade likes skateboarding even though I don't do it as much. But
00:22:55
>> yeah, I'll just say Polygrip. [laughter] >> Dana likes Polygrip. >> Follow me.
00:23:00
>> Yeah, Polygrip. Poly Market. Okay. Uh, any other stories? Um, >> any other habitats?
00:23:07
>> Oh, >> no. Let me see the back of this. I had something. >> Oh, no. >> This is just says water plants.
00:23:16
>> I did move. >> What? >> I moved, but my I told you this last time, but my house is still for sale,
00:23:21
which is wasn't the plan. >> What? Let's move this house. What do you want me to do? Well, the last time I
00:23:31
moved, the smart thing to do is I sell my house and then I go move. I know what I made or what I have,
00:23:38
>> but then you go shopping for the next house because you have escrow for 90 days, whatever.
00:23:43
>> Because it's a it's a question mark what you'll sell your house for. >> You could sell it for higher sometimes,
00:23:48
you could sell it for lower, you could not sell it. So, I I was looking all the time for a house because I kind of
00:23:55
wanted to beat it. And people say, "Oh, you just moved there." But it's been four and a half years. That's not just
00:24:01
that's not just anything. >> Yeah. That That's not nothing. Is it a lot? >> No, >> not really. But it's not nothing.
00:24:11
>> Big picture of the world. No. >> Let me ask you a question. Before you put the house on sale, did you ask
00:24:17
anybody, hey man, just quick question. Is it a buyer's market or a sellers market?
00:24:22
>> No. The problem with that is, which is a good question, is it's always something.
00:24:27
>> Yes. Because if you go on Zillow, you'll see houses are selling for over, you
00:24:31
know, over market, over market, and then suddenly they're selling for. So, whatever it is, if houses are costing a
00:24:39
lot, then I'm going to have to pay way more when I buy one, but I'll get more for mine,
00:24:44
>> right? >> So, you're caught in the middle. So, one side you're going to get rat [ __ ] on.
00:24:50
So, this one was I saw a lot of houses in the last year, year and a half that were kind of sitting there.
00:24:57
That's when I came in and tried to get mine, the one I got, which I liked. And it's a little more serene, a little
00:25:02
quieter than where I was. And then, but then that means is anyone going to buy yours? But, you know, last time it was
00:25:13
smarter, but this time I won. I knew one I like, so I had to make a move. And then I put it for sale. And now I'm
00:25:18
about to go do Grown-Ups. So, I'm gonna have to uh >> figure that out. But I think it'll work
00:25:23
out. I was looking for a little place to hang out in LA. I don't know. I might, >> you know, might just come by for a
00:25:30
little look. See, at the >> You could buy with your bar tab, dude. [laughter] >> Petty cash.
00:25:37
>> You know what you need? You need a proprietary buyer. You need someone who just like this clicks all the boxes.
00:25:45
>> Yeah. It's actually not. It's a well done house cuz it was new when I bought it. They built it.
00:25:49
>> Yes. >> And then I of course worked out the bugs. >> Mhm. because uh some things weren't
00:25:54
finished. I had to fix this. So, it's all works perfectly. It's a great house. I would keep it.
00:25:58
>> Pretty jaw-dropping when you come in that front door and all that view, >> all the windows and view. Yeah.
00:26:03
>> Pretty jaw-dropping. Yeah. >> It's gorgeous. And it'll sell at some point. But that's that. And then we got
00:26:09
we got some also we got some news stories if you want to go into that. >> Sure. >> You want to try a few and then we can
00:26:15
also >> let's try and just see if see >> Let's see if our brains are coming up with anything funny. Yeah. Yeah,
00:26:21
>> I thought last week was funny. >> I I thought it was fantastic. >> Yeah, we're cracking up.
00:26:26
>> So, here we go. >> Here we go. Whenever you're ready. >> Oh, [ __ ] buzzing around.
00:26:32
>> You get You buzz around. I'll Okay, let's do it. >> Buzzing around. It's time for buzzing
00:26:38
around. Sponsored by 5our Energies Firework Freeze flavor. It's a good summer flavor. Uh, ignite your taste
00:26:44
buds with a red, white, and blue freezer pop classic. Re-imagine as a delicious firework freeze. Five hour energy shot.
00:26:52
>> Find firework freeze shots online at 5hour energy.com or Amazon today. Dana is going to give us a scenario.
00:27:01
>> Okay. >> A couple impressions and then we're going to judge it. >> It'll be quick. Don't worry. [laughter]
00:27:07
the World Cup. >> Rob Schneider, >> Mike Tyson, >> John Love it. >> Oh, good. >> And and maybe Brad Pitt or Sandler.
00:27:18
>> Okay. You don't have to. You don't have to, but if you want to add those. >> Yeah, don't have to. But Rob Shiner.
00:27:23
Yeah. The game's really close. This is exciting, isn't it, Mike? Yeah. They haven't even scored yet. I mean, how do
00:27:29
they even know they're a soccer team? They got to score, right? >> Well, it's very hard to score a goal.
00:27:34
You know, they got to shoot with the goal. [ __ ] at the goal line. Why don't they just Why don't they just pick it up
00:27:38
with with their hands and throw it in the net? >> They can't do that. That's against the
00:27:42
rules. Yeah, but what are they going to do about that? >> Well, that's against the rules, Mike.
00:27:48
You can't do it. Yeah, but what are they going to do? What are they going to do about it if you just pick it up and
00:27:52
throw it in there? Hey, slow down. Someone just got a go. You missed it. >> Excuse me. You don't know about soccer?
00:28:04
Yeah, but it's called football, but it's it's kind of boink football. No, it's an
00:28:09
incredible game, isn't it, Brad Pitt? >> That's a good idea. I agree with Mike. They should be able to pick up the ball.
00:28:17
[laughter] >> Hey, here comes Adam Sandler. Okay, go ahead, David. >> I was going to ask a question. So, if
00:28:23
Mike was out there playing and he picked it up just in a fun game of soccer, then
00:28:29
what happens? [laughter] And they say to him, "Yeah, >> Mike, you can't pick up the ball."
00:28:35
>> Yeah. I said, "What you gonna do about?" So, what I would do is I would put the
00:28:38
ball on my arm and I would just I would just have a stiff right and I just punch
00:28:42
the guys and then they go out. They go out. Everybody Everybody takes a little nap and I score like a 100 goals in a
00:28:49
row. >> You throw in. >> Yeah, Mike. It's not even the same game then. The World Cup has gone on for
00:28:55
decades. It's a sacred uh sporting event. There's rules. Yeah, but you know, at the end of the day, you know,
00:29:01
I'll say it one more time. What are they gonna do about it? >> Yeah, there you go. [laughter]
00:29:09
>> And then Sandler comes at the end. And what do you think? You do [laughter] >> those are Sandler's only lines.
00:29:19
>> I was I was think Yeah. Go [laughter] ahead. >> This has been buzzing around.
00:29:25
>> Buzzing around. Sponsored by 5our Energies Firework Freeze flavor. >> The iconic red, white, and blue freezer
00:29:32
pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. Spark a tasty flavor sensation >> with Firework Freeze. Five-hour energy
00:29:40
shots available online at fiveour energy.com and Amazon today. >> Yes, I was you know that the World Cup
00:29:47
will be done by this. >> Right. But let me just ask you a question that's evergreen. Did you get
00:29:53
into it at all? the World Cup of all the games. Did you? >> I did a little bit because I got caught
00:29:59
up in it. But the uh I was the other night thinking is when is it [ __ ] over? Like no offense. It's been a fun
00:30:07
ride. I didn't know it was all summer. It's the Super Bowl for the rest of your life. That's what I say. And and I like
00:30:13
when it's a a rivalry like the North and South Pole. I said, "This is my This is
00:30:19
me at the Comedy Store just trying to do World Cup bits." >> Okay. But overall, um, I thought France was France supposed
00:30:28
to win. They didn't win. They have I know, but they got spanked by [snorts] Spain. I would just say tell this cuz
00:30:36
it's like this game is essentially over and it's one point to zero points. They might as well go home. It's a onegoal
00:30:45
lead. What if they made every time you score a goal you get 50 points? It's 50 to nothing,
00:30:52
>> right? It would be more exciting >> because if you're watching football game and it's three to zero at half, you're
00:30:58
like, "This game sucks." So, you want touchdowns. What if you only had one touchdown a game?
00:31:04
>> I I agree with what you're saying, right? >> You want more action. >> But even if it's if it's 50 to nothing,
00:31:10
it seems more exciting. Even if the next team scores one goal, they get 50 points.
00:31:15
>> So, >> Oh, that's what you're saying. I do agree. 50 sounds more like a And they
00:31:20
really beat him. >> Yeah. Oh, man. their head by 100 to zero, then it's just two goals.
00:31:25
>> Two scores. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I like that idea. Yeah. >> But, you know, I got into it a little
00:31:31
bit because of learning what Well, first of all, I didn't know when all of a sudden it said plus nine up on the
00:31:36
screen. >> Plus nine. >> They just add up all these minutes and then they add them at the end. I didn't
00:31:42
know what when does it >> I like it's ending and they go they can go a little longer if they want.
00:31:49
>> Yeah. It just like sometimes it just stops and they pick up a ball and they go they want to go now there's no
00:31:55
urgency like 10 n I don't >> right yeah this this you know when it's over but the thing that's kind of
00:32:02
interesting the basic cool move I guess someone like me kicks it and it kind of winds and twist and lands is coming down
00:32:12
right at the front of the net >> and if you have a tall guy he just hits it with his head and there's a goal.
00:32:17
>> Yeah. So, >> I will say >> it's kind of kind of goofy. That's all I'll say is a head.
00:32:22
>> Overall, I did have World Cup fever, but it was just diarrhea. [snorts] >> I thought I had World Cup fever, but it
00:32:30
was just that poo flu going around. [laughter] >> Well, the the passion of the fans was
00:32:36
the big part of it. >> It's almost alarmingly scary. >> Yeah, the Vikings for the Norway game.
00:32:42
Everyone's dressed like a Viking [groaning] >> and they're fake rowing and >> they showed that dude's house on
00:32:47
Instagram. I was like, "Oh my god." >> Mean their main main guy, Halen or something. The 65 guy.
00:32:52
>> Yeah, the monster. I'm like, "Sell my clothes. I'm going to heaven." >> This guy has the hugest
00:32:58
spread in Finland. Is it Norway? I don't know where. >> Norway. But then Norway has to play
00:33:04
their final game and it's 99 and it's humid. So the heat index in Miami, it's 111. This guy is a big guy. So the
00:33:12
smaller guys were just running around. But this guy, they had to take him out because just heat exhaustion.
00:33:17
>> Dude, I wouldn't get tired. [snorts] >> Big talker. Big talker. >> I would have been great.
00:33:24
>> Put me out there. >> I would have been great if I chose douche. >> Gadouch. >> More kadooes. I'm gonna see Schwarzen
00:33:33
tonight. I can't wait to make fun of him and make him buy dinner. >> And what will he say? Gad,
00:33:40
[laughter] >> will he have stories? >> I don't know. He's He does. He's funny. >> He's funny.
00:33:46
>> He He keeps posting from the hospital and I keep trashing him on his comments.
00:33:49
It's so hilarious. >> Is he still posting, >> guys? And I'm like, "What a [ __ ]
00:33:54
loser." >> Yeah. He said he had he had an MRI yesterday and I go, "Oh, yeah. The
00:34:00
microscopic rod inspection." [laughter] Dude, you can't write that [ __ ] Hey, [laughter] man. Kadouch. Kadish.
00:34:10
>> I was like, "What a [ __ ] burn." >> Anyway, he's okay. I guess I'll find out
00:34:16
tonight if he buys. I'll be like, "Are you okay? See, I want to check your >> uh see if you can pick up your wallet.
00:34:22
Let me see if is your shoulder okay?" Okay. No, see if you can pay the bill. >> Oh, you got slow itis when check comes
00:34:29
or >> No, I just want to make them pay. I'll be like, "Let's check your reflexes.
00:34:32
Grab your wallet really fast. Pay the winner. Okay. You're doing good. You're doing trick them.
00:34:39
>> I'd like to be a fly on that wall. >> Yeah, exactly. >> You know those classicricolored
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00:35:08
routine. I cracked one open right before recording the show today. >> Wow. >> And it's a serious bold flavor
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explosion. In every single sip, >> you get this incredibly nostalgic combination of juicy cherry,
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your taste buds at the exact same [clears throat] time. What do you think? >> It is honestly amazing how they capture
00:35:34
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00:35:42
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reliable energy boost wherever you go. All without melting in the heat like the old school treats. Right, David?
00:36:05
>> I'm hooked. Listen, you will be too. Ignite those taste buds with a firework freeze flavored 5Hour Energy shot. Now
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available online at fiveour energy.com or Amazon. Okay. What's this news story? Are we
00:36:18
allowed to move to that now? >> Yes, I think so. We're in good >> I can never see. Oh, here's a dumb one.
00:36:23
This >> This is something I saw and I know Dana won't believe it, but this is Heather
00:36:28
will chime in. This is probably true. Let's hear it. >> A video of someone asking if you could
00:36:34
go on a free vacation but you couldn't take a single picture or video to post on social media, would you go?
00:36:40
>> No, I wouldn't. Like, sorry. I know a lot of you guys are probably going to lie and say yes, but personally me, I
00:36:45
wouldn't. I >> There you go. That's it. Now, that's a that's a possible situation in the new
00:36:53
world. In the old days, there was no version of it was just you got to go on vacation. You have all these great
00:36:59
memories. >> Yeah, we had uh date myself a black and white Polaroid camera. It had a little
00:37:06
flash and then you wait and you pull out a little black and white blurry photo. Yeah.
00:37:11
>> Oh, and they have their own magic to it. Was very lowfi, but >> um did she have to wear that top to get
00:37:18
[laughter] I mean I mean was she picking out different clothing? I'm going to make a
00:37:23
serious statement about social media. >> Is that what she landed on? >> Yeah, this was like she tried on 40
00:37:29
different things. Let's go with this. >> Um >> she still wants clicks. I mean, come on.
00:37:34
The end of the day, that's why that shows you there's a thirstiness. And if she goes there, because everyone I know
00:37:42
when they're out to dinner, you just see pictures of people's food, the drive there, the beautiful everyone. It's a
00:37:47
weird thing where everyone's life has to look so opulent and elegant when it could have gone anyway. You could say,
00:37:54
"Oh, there's some really lowfi people that just well, they don't take pictures because they're normal, but right,
00:38:00
>> just taking pictures of things that aren't going well in your life." It's always funnier to me to post stuff
00:38:04
that's stupider, but >> or mix it up. I mean, one is just I have the greatest life ever. So, you feel
00:38:10
like everyone is on a cool yacht >> off the coast of Italy partying. Like all human beings have yachts and party
00:38:18
and then once in a while it's like not feeling it, gang. You know, there's the sad thing.
00:38:22
>> I had to turn off my phone. >> People admonish the young people who are addicted. I feel like I'm doing Bill
00:38:28
Maher for a second. They admonish people because they're so addicted to their phones. Oh, yeah. I always say this to
00:38:36
everyone. followed the technology. I mean, as soon as VHS came in, the first thing was porn. We if you know, answer
00:38:43
machines came in and we were people would spend 10 hours in their outgoing message. Like, what would you in your
00:38:49
prime for your outgoing message on your what would you say? >> Was it funny? >> I said, "Hey, it's DS. Leave me a clean
00:38:58
it up." [laughter] >> And that was number one with a bullet for 20 years. >> [laughter]
00:39:04
>> No, they used to have a whole thing called, "Well, I'm [clears throat] glad you called, but we are not home, so
00:39:08
leave a message on the phone." Wait for the beat. >> You got to leave it. You got They had
00:39:13
They had a crazy calls >> cassette where you could put it on your answering machine. It was all funny.
00:39:19
>> It was a It was a big deal. Your outgoing message. And the the older people thought they're crazy. But I got
00:39:24
so bored at one point, I spent four hours working on this. It was old man river except I I I put in beep instead
00:39:32
old man beep. He is coming. That old man beep. Oh he is coming. Here he comes. And then
00:39:46
>> four hours. >> Now I got 12,000 leaving messages for hours. >> Yeah. Calls just to hear it.
00:39:53
>> Yeah. But I mean, if this if these things were around in 1948, Carrie Grant would have been addicted. Excuse me,
00:39:59
Humphrey Bogot. I'm going to take another selfie. Let's get these real quick. I'm going to put it up.
00:40:04
>> We're sick little monkeys. Follow the technology that all sick little monkeys.
00:40:10
>> I like when people go, I had to delete my Instagram. I just couldn't take it. I
00:40:14
was having a crash out. And then, of course, a day later, I'm back. Oh, you didn't delete all your followers. It
00:40:20
wasn't that serious. Well, this is what pops up to me sometimes, and I I don't really dig into this, but people say,
00:40:26
"First time posting in a while, you know, [laughter] and you're like,"I guess I better click
00:40:32
on that." Are you saying you haven't posted in a while and now you're going to post after a while happened? I got to
00:40:40
see what's going on. The best ones are people in the hospital going, "Hey guys, just saying hi,
00:40:47
no questions." and then be like, "Oh my god, are you okay?" >> Yeah. Our guy's been intubated and he's
00:40:54
got bandages. [snorts] You know, when do you just not [laughter] leave a message?
00:41:00
>> I know. When you just don't put a picture up, is there any scenario where you wouldn't take a picture?
00:41:05
>> There's a guy. They're doing the paddles on a guy. Clear. The guy wakes up for a
00:41:09
second. >> He's like, "1 clear." He's like, "Did you guys film you intubating me and give me a defibrill?"
00:41:22
Because I want to post it. I got to put it up. [laughter] >> When I go under, when I'm flatlining,
00:41:29
show it flatlining, pan over to me, and then bring me back. That's >> People film their breakup. They walk up
00:41:35
to their girlfriend. They go, "Hey." So, and the girl's like, "Why are you filming this?" He's like, "Listen, it's
00:41:41
I think we've been going and you're filming this intimate horrible thing." Oh. I'll watch it.
00:41:47
>> I know. >> Um, okay. Next one. Let's see. Let's see. >> We We handled that one good.
00:41:52
>> Trapped inside. Oh, is this a scary play out? I don't know what >> they done.
00:41:59
Okay, so they took the [ __ ] >> just some guy in his apartment. >> I didn't even know you could do that
00:42:05
with people living here, but they took the >> steps away. What is that? >> I thought this was supposed to be like a
00:42:10
repair job or a one day thing. The day is over. The guys are gone and there's no steps. So, this is a three-story
00:42:18
building. There's no elevator >> and no one noticed and now they're up. What? >> You know, it's a cheap apartment
00:42:23
complex. They took >> Well, that mean what was he snapping while they took that or he was went?
00:42:28
>> Well, they were like working on the steps. They ripped them all out to replace him and then they just went home
00:42:32
>> and then it was up 5:00. >> How do I get to the car? How do I get >> Yeah. >> How do I get anywhere? I get a little I
00:42:38
mean that [snorts] situation I'm not as paranoid, but if I was stuck like Luke Wilson on that elevator, I would be like
00:42:46
panic mode, dude. >> I did watch that movie. What's it called? Back rooms. >> Oh, you saw Back Rooms.
00:42:55
>> Back Rooms came out on Amazon Prime. >> Wow. >> For 1999, but I had seven people with
00:43:00
me, so we divided it up. [laughter] >> That's good. Everyone kicks in. So, what back room is supposed to be kind of
00:43:06
scary? What is there? Just weird. >> It's definitely creepy and scary and it gets more like a horror film toward the
00:43:12
end. Yeah, it's like very atmospheric. >> Making 200 million as of this weekend.
00:43:18
That's crazy, huh? >> Uh, globally, I think it's more like 400. >> Well, Orbit Louie, it's um 5 trillion,
00:43:26
>> but it was made for like 2 million or something. And they had AI to make the back rooms. And
00:43:31
>> that and Obsession both blew it out. >> Blew out the big studios. they're it's
00:43:37
going to be minions go to space or whatever. >> The only thing I would ask is you invest
00:43:42
in a movie and you're liking, okay, it's kind of a mystery and it's a horror mystery. Are we going to get a
00:43:49
conclusion or something >> and didn't really satisfy me? They kind of hinted at it, but no, we have no
00:43:57
idea. So, >> maybe we should ask to get that girl from Obsession. We should see Obsession
00:44:01
and try to get someone from out of this regular world we have because I heard that movie is good. It's making a
00:44:08
killing. >> Yeah, >> but I'm too scared to see it. >> But I told you we ran into a few people
00:44:13
from that movie and they were like, go see it. I'm like, I don't know. I was scared to see the sheep detector. So,
00:44:20
I'm going to if you could probably handle it. >> Why me? >> Cuz you're tough. I don't know. I'm I'm
00:44:27
in a new house. I'd be scared. >> It's things that pop out. So, you know, someone's going to pop out. So,
00:44:32
sometimes if I'm in a theater, I don't I don't want that feel. I'll just squint my eyes.
00:44:36
>> I go like that. >> I mean, it's not my favorite. I love science fiction, but horror sometimes
00:44:43
you're like popping out. >> Um, >> music, noise, it all scares you. >> And of course, there has to be a sequel.
00:44:50
What would be the name of the back back rooms? What would be the sequel's name? >> Front rooms.
00:44:57
>> Side door. >> Backbone. No, side door has already been announced. No, I just >> um [laughter]
00:45:05
attic >> Opair's room. >> Yeah. >> Uh >> dining room. >> She shed. [laughter] >> Yeah,
00:45:15
>> she shed. I never knew what that was. That's like a ADU in the backyard or something.
00:45:21
>> Maybe they'll just make it a different tone and they'll just call it even more
00:45:25
rooms with an exclamation point. We found more rooms. Not just back rooms. They were really the front rooms.
00:45:31
There's more. >> This is the roomiest back room ever. >> This is a mansion. Uh, okay. Next story.
00:45:38
>> Mhm. I was I had a movie question for you, too. >> Oh, you you tell me right now.
00:45:43
>> Are you going to rush to see The Odyssey? >> That's a great question, Dana. Um,
00:45:50
>> are you 70 mm >> iMac? a $70 million movie or 70 mm >> 70 mm. Um, >> I'm not going to IMAX. I don't have
00:46:04
>> 70 mm. >> I don't have a neck for it. Like this. [laughter] >> Oh, there's Odysius. And there's
00:46:14
Cledius. And there's Clamyia. >> Oh, there's the princess Garria. [laughter] >> There's Matt Dame with his hat with a
00:46:23
fake mohawk on top. >> I know. It was it came it became a little bit casual because they got the
00:46:28
army there. I just thought what else could he match? Not his fault, but he he goes to the army. HE GOES, "LET'S GO."
00:46:36
IT JUST SEEMS kind of casual for third century Greece. Maybe say something. We should fight or something.
00:46:42
>> Men of our country. >> Let's do this. And then there might be an afterparty >> cuz you remember Gladiator where Russell
00:46:52
Crow says, "Unleash hell." That was a good one. He could have said, "Let's go." >> Or begin shooting the arrows. Unleash
00:47:01
hell. So, let's go. >> I was >> ladies first. I'm kidding. We'll all go at the same time.
00:47:07
That's casual. >> Well, it might have been nice if it was just cuz they all have swords.
00:47:12
>> Did you see it? >> Let's go kill him. No, I just saw the trailer. >> Let's get these mofoes. He did a bunch
00:47:18
of different takes. >> Hey, guess what? It's It's [ __ ] hitting time. Might might have made it too
00:47:26
modern, but yeah, he goes, "Cover your dicks. Here we come." And everyone's like, "No, no, that's a bad one."
00:47:32
>> Or just did a nod to it. Why? Why Matt Damon? I'm not Matt Damon. I'm Odessius,
00:47:37
[laughter] idiot. >> I like that Chris No one just goes, "Just say whatever comes to you as this
00:47:42
character." And he's like, "We're going to get you. Hope you have insurance. [laughter]
00:47:49
Hey, we're going to hide in a wooden horse and you're not going to know dick about it. We're coming in.
00:47:56
>> And at best you'll get splinters. At worst, you die. >> Did anyone ever think that was inside
00:48:01
the castle? Why is this giant wooden horse being rolled in here? I mean, and also it seems like it's almost going to
00:48:08
crack it. Is it full of dust or something? >> Why is it talking? Also, why why is it
00:48:13
murmuring? Uh, also, where are we going to put this thing? I mean, I hate getting presents where I'm
00:48:19
like, I don't even want this. Let's put it in the back of the castle. [laughter]
00:48:23
That's before they opened it. >> Yeah. Well, it's it's a Greek myth. I know you went to college, you know. It's
00:48:30
a Greek it's a story. >> I know. It's a great one. >> It's a great story. I'll see it. I just
00:48:36
don't like crowds. So, I'll see it when it's almost out. >> That one might have a crowd, but if you
00:48:41
like it, I'll go see it. But I don't, you know, I know there's big casting things, but
00:48:47
maybe you won't even notice. It'll just be blurred into the movie. >> It's a sandals movie. They used to call
00:48:52
those kind of movies sandals. Like Kirk Douglas, these actors would have to wear
00:48:55
sandals, you know, >> Jason the Argonauts. >> Yeah. Now that's that's the greatest.
00:49:00
Yeah. >> Okay. What's the next? Oh, what is this one? I don't know what this is. Hold on.
00:49:05
>> Fly. >> Oh, a prank. Okay, stop it for a second. >> Believe this. I just got pulled over and
00:49:12
I told the cop that I was going home because you fell off a ladder and he's coming to make sure you're okay.
00:49:17
>> Dude, what what are you even talking about? I literally just got off of a plane and I just walked into the house.
00:49:22
>> It's a funny prank you're doing your dad. >> You need to pretend like he's being
00:49:25
followed by a cop. Please. He's behind me. I'm one minute away. >> I'm not [ __ ]
00:49:31
>> I've seen this before with different cop said, "Why are you speeding? I'm on my way home. I'm sorry." Got it.
00:49:39
>> Hurry. So they see if they'll do it. >> Oh my god. >> Oh, and he's lying down. Okay.
00:49:46
[laughter] >> Well, it's a funny bit, but it's clear >> staged right. >> Where's the cop?
00:49:59
>> [ __ ] Dude, I swear to God Tik Tok [ __ ] or Instagram or whatever the [ __ ] you're doing. It's enough. I'm
00:50:06
done. [laughter] >> You're in on it, too? I think it's funny. >> Well, I mean it [laughter]
00:50:13
it was an actual prank. It wasn't a prank of us on a prank. >> I don't know anymore. Dana,
00:50:18
>> what would you have done? Of course, you fall off ladders every day. >> Um I would Would I do it? It's just so
00:50:26
funny. What if Harper told me there's a cop following me and I said, "You I'd be
00:50:30
up front." I'd be really going life alert [laughter] because you can't look to see if it's a
00:50:36
cop like this. have to play it up a little bit before the cop gets in case they're watching. In case it's real.
00:50:41
What if it's real? I'm like me ankle and my fifth metatarsal. >> It didn't look real cuz if he's lying
00:50:48
like that, he would have been knocked out. He should have been just up against >> three minutes to run up and just pour
00:50:54
>> Oh, and poor >> to figure it out. >> All right. >> Just get a ladder >> and a lay down.
00:51:00
>> Mhm. >> I don't know. >> Those people were kicking it. What a fun thing to do just to do pranks all day
00:51:05
and stuff. >> I know. Oh, they go, "We thought of a good one." >> I'm going to prank you on next week
00:51:10
episode, but I'm not going to >> do I hate prank. >> I hate them. Oh my god, I hate being
00:51:16
humiliated. Um, >> it'd be funny if you thought you were getting on the Zoom with me here and
00:51:21
then I just come up from behind your couch. >> Oh, that would be I think that would
00:51:25
scare me, too. >> Dead silent. [laughter] >> Hello. >> You drove all this way and I get mad.
00:51:32
>> Isn't it funny? >> Um, okay. Okay, let's do one more. Then we got >> one more. Then we I got
00:51:38
>> We had a lot loaded up. Let me see if this one's working. >> We did. Let's see what this is. This
00:51:43
guy's listening on top. Oh, are they talking? I don't know. >> Ask you guys a mat trick by any chance.
00:51:47
All three of you guys. >> Sure. >> Okay. All three of you guys give me a random number.
00:51:51
>> Eight. >> Okay. Eight. >> Three. >> Three. [music] Final one. >> And 16. >> Okay. 8 316. Now give me a color.
00:52:01
>> Blue, red, purple. >> Blue, red, purple. 8316. Got it. >> What if I told you the conversation we
00:52:07
just had wasn't real? This was a fully pre-recorded and generated conversation. >> Are you for real? What the he said?
00:52:18
>> I'm being totally for real. This was pre-recorded and generated to react to everything that you just said. This took
00:52:25
months of planning. >> Wait, do it again. Do it again. Do it again. >> How the did you do that?
00:52:31
>> What? Like I'mma have a full What? [laughter] >> So what? I mean, I'm confused.
00:52:40
>> What the heck? But my head hurts. >> Wait, do something else. Do something else.
00:52:44
>> Do it. Come on. I know. It's like a paper like a towel or something. Wait, how is he? [screaming]
00:52:52
[laughter] >> Heather, did you see that one? Okay, stop. >> Wow. Okay, that's cool.
00:52:57
>> It's called I think it's called chat roulette. You just keep hitting your Zoom and it spins and just someone else
00:53:04
pops up and you either talk them for a while or you don't. >> Yeah, usually the guys just wang out.
00:53:10
>> How did he >> And have this experience. >> Wang out. Is that the way they call it
00:53:14
now? >> You can get away with anything. >> You can do it because it's just they don't they're not really recording.
00:53:19
>> How did he get the thing that they said randomly on the piece of paper? >> I don't know. That's that's the
00:53:23
intrigue. >> That's the joke part. So all the doing the thing that he was writing. I mean,
00:53:28
it's obviously a trick if they set it up with him ahead of time possibly. But even how he did this part with looked
00:53:34
cool no matter if it was set up. >> Mhm. >> Where he's playing a video and he's like, but
00:53:40
>> I I had the amazing Creskin once. He's a guy. >> Did you see him in real life?
00:53:44
>> Yeah. And he I saw I saw him doing the trick, but I didn't say anything. So, he's holding this up and he go and he
00:53:50
goes, "Uh, >> give me give me um you know, two numbers in a letter or something like that." So
00:53:56
I said 37 37B and then he goes >> like that and he got a little pencil out and he was kind of writing it on on the
00:54:04
paper plate as as he was distracting me >> as he's [ __ ] >> Yeah. And I go hey Ken that wasn't so
00:54:11
>> Is that what he did? He wrote it like Okay. >> Yeah. So say you say say it to me like
00:54:16
Okay. >> Okay. So I'll give you a hold on seven. >> Wait a minute. >> You got a pen?
00:54:21
>> Yeah. >> Okay. We're gonna do a magic trick. Everybody start recording. It's going to
00:54:25
be good. >> Okay. 7 11 and J. Let's see if you can do this. That's it. [laughter]
00:54:43
I feel like those girls in the car. That's it. >> But what he really did was say it again.
00:54:48
7-Eleven J. >> 11 J. Oh, and then he wrote it. >> Oh, yeah. That's good. >> He did it better than that. He was
00:55:01
>> right on the yellow part. I could read it better. >> I didn't have a blank thing, you know. I
00:55:07
have this many ideas. My pads are full of stuff here. It would be like this. Okay. Say another one. [laughter]
00:55:13
>> Okay. Uh 53 Q. >> Wow. >> What's he doing? >> That's [laughter] amazing. Uh oh.
00:55:25
Oh my god. [laughter] He wrote 53 lollipop. >> I'm doing it terribly. >> I think it's good.
00:55:34
>> Preskin was big, dude. >> It's all about distraction. Look over here. Look over there.
00:55:40
>> Let me tell you something, D. When these guys do it to me, >> I was interrupting you, but when these
00:55:45
guys do >> No, no, I like Let me tell you something. I think it's funny. Let me tell you something. Okay. No matter what
00:55:50
they want me to do, I do it. Whether it's on purpose or not, they go, "Okay, so your wallet's over here." And then
00:55:57
they go, "Oh, a birdie." And I'm like, I look back and I'm like, "How did you do
00:56:02
it?" They were like, "Oh, when you looked away, I did it." I'm like, >> but anyway, where their hands while they
00:56:08
talk, they're doing little tricks that >> you're supposed to follow something and
00:56:12
then they're rubbing your arm. They got your watch. David Blaine. I've seen him in person
00:56:18
and do stuff crazy and do it to me. He did stuff to me. >> Anyway, um magic. >> We know where Ricard is. It's inside
00:56:29
that BaskinRobins that's closed. It's It's in the sherbet ice cream. [laughter] Like
00:56:36
>> usually he goes, "It's in your anal cavity." I'm like, "It is?" And I >> And you and you would say again? I go I
00:56:43
go, "Is that it?" "No, those are my car keys." [laughter] >> Is that a yo-yo? Where was that?
00:56:48
>> With Lance Bert, you know, he's got the jacket on. >> Oh, they think it's up his sleeve.
00:56:52
>> He's like, and he rolls up his sleeves and then he just goes like that and he's
00:56:56
got a lit candle. >> Yeah. When David Blaine was on the street like 10, 20 years ago
00:57:03
>> and he took a guy down the street and it was the card was in the other side of a
00:57:07
store on the inside. >> Yeah. Yeah. Inside the glass. And then somebody puts a newspaper on the glass
00:57:12
and puts his arm to the glass. >> That's [ __ ] I love it. >> There's a great YouTube video where he
00:57:17
is at Harrison Ford's house >> and I saw that. >> He's doing all [clears throat] the slide
00:57:21
of hand and then somehow what Harrison Ford rode on >> gets inside an unpeeled orange or
00:57:28
something. >> Yeah. And he peels it and then Harrison [laughter] Ford pauses and says, "Get
00:57:35
out of my house." He opens it up and says, "Get off my plane." [laughter] That's what he says
00:57:41
in Air Force One. >> Yeah, that is. Get off my plane, Kadish. >> Uh, what about Okay, we can end on that
00:57:49
one. David Blaine plays the win a resorts world sometimes. I I would like to see.
00:57:54
>> He's so entertaining. I I love I love magic. I love magicians. I'm always very
00:58:00
entertained. I want to be tricked. >> Yeah. And I don't want to know how it is. No, I like when it's just so
00:58:05
inexplicable. You're like, "What the >> Yeah. Well, maybe we should get him on and he could do it right here on the
00:58:10
thing with us." >> I'd come in. We could do it in there and then try to >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. I get scared. It's so
00:58:15
crazy. I think it's like witchcraft, but >> Yeah. He'll try to >> I would do it. I think he would do it.
00:58:19
We could do it in person. Uh, okay. All right, Dana, thanks for coming. >> Yeah. Thanks for um completion of
00:58:26
another episode. Let's uh >> It's a miracle. >> Hey, let's read some ads. All right, listen. If you're enjoying
00:58:38
the [music] fly on the wall, of course hopefully you are. Click follow. We don't want to be desperate, but
00:58:43
obviously smash that goddang button on your favorite podcast app. >> Leave a review, a good one.
00:58:50
>> Leave a fivestar rating, nothing else. >> Whoops. >> And maybe even share an episode with a
00:58:55
friend. [music] If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. Dana, what do you think?
00:59:00
>> I'm going to tell you this right now. Hear me now, believe me later. [laughter]
00:59:05
Fly in the Wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by, hold for it, Dana Carvey
00:59:13
and David Spade, or David Spade [music] and Dana Carvey. We don't write this stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman,
00:59:20
and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox with production support from Phil Sweet Tech. Talent
00:59:29
production and booking [music] by Sophia Leapor.

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 70
    Funniest
  • 70
    Best performance
  • 65
    Best overall
  • 60
    Most quotable

Episode Highlights

  • The Milk Joke
    A light-hearted moment about having too much milk.
    “Got so much milk, give some to the kitty.”
    @ 00m 14s
    July 20, 2026
  • Poo Flu Confession
    A humorous misdiagnosis leads to laughter.
    “I thought I had World Cup fever, but it was just that poo flu going around.”
    @ 00m 40s
    July 20, 2026
  • Meeting Gene Simmons
    A surprising encounter with the legendary rock star.
    “So, Jean Simmons, three Stooges says they tell me on the way up.”
    @ 04m 30s
    July 20, 2026
  • The Smartest Rock Star
    A discussion on the cleverness of Gene Simmons.
    “I think Jean Simmons is probably one of the smartest rock stars of the last 40 years.”
    @ 08m 51s
    July 20, 2026
  • Mick vs. Bruce
    A playful discussion about Mick Jagger and Bruce Springsteen's contrasting views on politics.
    “I'm just here. I don't want to lecture the crowd.”
    @ 21m 20s
    July 20, 2026
  • World Cup Fever
    A humorous take on the World Cup experience and its unexpected challenges.
    “I thought I had World Cup fever, but it was just diarrhea.”
    @ 32m 25s
    July 20, 2026
  • The Addiction to Technology
    A humorous take on how technology has changed our lives, with a focus on our obsession with phones.
    “We're sick little monkeys. Follow the technology, we're all sick little monkeys.”
    @ 40m 06s
    July 20, 2026
  • The Prank Gone Wrong
    A comedic prank involving a fake emergency call that spirals out of control.
    “What if I told you the conversation we just had wasn't real?”
    @ 52m 07s
    July 20, 2026
  • Magic and Witchcraft
    Discussion about the allure of magic and the fear of its mystery.
    “I think it's like witchcraft, but...”
    @ 58m 15s
    July 20, 2026
  • Podcast Promotion
    Encouragement for listeners to engage with the podcast.
    “Smash that goddang button on your favorite podcast app.”
    @ 58m 43s
    July 20, 2026
  • Show Credits
    Acknowledgment of the team behind the podcast.
    “Fly in the Wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey.”
    @ 59m 07s
    July 20, 2026

Episode Quotes

  • I always liked when I grew up in Cassagrand, Arizona, this little dumpy town.
    We’re Sick Little Monkeys
  • I tell women I'm hung like Jesus.
    We’re Sick Little Monkeys
  • It's gorgeous. And it'll sell at some point.
    We’re Sick Little Monkeys
  • Oh, I thought I had World Cup fever, but it was just that poo flu!
    We’re Sick Little Monkeys
  • We're sick little monkeys. Follow the technology, we're all sick little monkeys.
    We’re Sick Little Monkeys
  • What if I told you the conversation we just had wasn't real?
    We’re Sick Little Monkeys

Key Moments

  • Milk Humor00:14
  • Poo Flu00:40
  • Celebrity Encounter04:30
  • Prank Call49:10
  • Magic Trick Reveal52:07
  • Magic Enthusiasm57:57
  • Podcast Wrap-Up58:28
  • Show Credits59:07

Tension Over Time

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown