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Chris Rock LIVE in LA

May 14, 2026 / 01:13:47

This episode features Chris Rock discussing his experiences in comedy, including stories about Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler, and Michael Jackson. The conversation touches on Rock's early career, his time on SNL, and his interactions with various celebrities.

Chris Rock reflects on his journey in comedy, sharing anecdotes about how he met Eddie Murphy while stacking chairs at a comedy club. He recalls Murphy's encouragement and predictions about his future in the industry.

Rock also talks about his friendship with Adam Sandler, describing their early days in comedy and how they both auditioned for SNL on the same night. He shares a humorous story about Sandler's rise to fame and their bond over the years.

The episode includes Rock's thoughts on Michael Jackson, recounting a brief phone call he had with the pop star before hosting the Oscars. He shares a lighthearted story about his experience with Jackson's music video.

Throughout the episode, Rock's humor shines as he discusses the challenges and triumphs of his career, offering a candid look at the world of comedy and the people he has encountered along the way.

TL;DR

Chris Rock shares stories about Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler, and Michael Jackson while reflecting on his comedy career.

Episode

1:13:47

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Guys, we got an exciting one. This is

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not a repeat. This is a new version of

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Chris Rock

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>> uh live at the Oreium Theater, which we

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>> live shot and had a blast. Always fun

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with an audience, especially with Chris.

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>> Yes. And um we're out there in three

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chairs. We had our cameras. Pretty big

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audience. I mean, the Netflix is a joke

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is like 18 million shows. But uh Chris

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was great. We learned a lot. We went in

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some places that are very funny. I mean,

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he just has a lot of stories that

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involve a lot of well-known people, you

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know, and there were some pretty

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fascinating pulling some names out of

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them. And uh God, we went back to SNL

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again. We we always do that, but there's

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always something.

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We went back to pre-SNL,

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>> how he met Sandler. Um

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>> old Eddie Murphy stuff. Uh where he met

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Eddie, uh a lot of great stuff that I

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don't remember doing that in the first

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time we talked. No, no, I learned a lot

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and uh he was great. We had a great

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time. Um we'll we're going to now tell,

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you know, repeat some of the main jokes.

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So, you go ahead. Now, we're not. But I

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have to say, I did laugh a lot. He He

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didn't walk through it. He came in in a

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good mood, excited. The crowd was into

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it.

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>> And it's one of those fun ones where you

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just start laughing and

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>> we're just kind of all over the place

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cracking each other up. It's great great

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time. No further ado, or what do you

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call it? No further ado. Is that the

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phrase?

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>> Close enough.

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>> With no further ado.

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>> Without further ado,

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>> the one and only Chris Rock.

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It's

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>> almost over. Almost over.

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>> 20 minutes.

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>> You're over here.

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>> Oh, he gets suspicious. Mine's w.

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>> Wow. Wow.

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>> People.

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>> Okay.

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Hello. Hi. There you go.

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>> Can you see?

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>> Wow.

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>> Downtown.

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>> This is kind

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>> We are not doing standup. Just so you

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know,

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>> just everyone pours out. No, we

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we decided where's the most dangerous

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place we can do this and what's the

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farthest?

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And it took some took some work. What we

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>> Ted Sando said 6:00 way downtown. I

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said, "Teddy, I am in, brother. I'm

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>> So, Chris, thanks for thanks for here.

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I'm here cuz I want to be here.

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>> This has nothing to do with my

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contractual obligations

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>> to Netflix and Ted Randos." Yes.

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>> Yeah. Three different nothing to do with

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that. It's all

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>> nothing to do with my three special

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deal.

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>> Yeah.

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>> And a pod. Well, we appreciate you

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coming. Chris is one of my good buddies.

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>> Little background on him. We did the old

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SNL together. That's where I met him.

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And uh

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>> Right.

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>> Such a Mhm.

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>> Uh legitimately one of my uh best buds

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in the show biz world and um would do

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anything anything for this guy. So, I'm

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really glad to see him in general. It's

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good to see him here.

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>> Uh Dana's fine, but uh

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>> it's 91.

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>> 91. I know. I don't like to throw these

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out.

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>> 91 Michael Jackson was alive.

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>> Y

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>> and you just got out of high and an

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outstanding citizen.

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>> Michael Jackson was killing,

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>> right? 91 was a good

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>> I waited on Michael Jackson as a bus boy

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waiter in 1975

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>> and I would bring him a plate of raw

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carrots and they were playing the Circle

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Star Theater, the Jackson 5. And there

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he was. And he'd always

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>> a plate of raw carrots. raw carrots and

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he would look in a mirror after

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>> [ __ ] rabbits.

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>> I don't know. Janet was jumping up and

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down on the bed. She's like 8 years old.

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I go, "Please don't do that."

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>> Oh, they were that small. Wow.

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>> Yeah. Yeah. He's probably 14 or 15.

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>> Wow.

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>> Yeah.

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>> And he was looking in the mirror and I

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brought him the carrots and I got kind

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of familiar and I said, "You know, you

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could do a little something." And I just

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dropped it, you know.

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>> I felt terrible. That was pretty good.

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Long way to go.

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>> Joe, Chris Rock is our guest.

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>> Yes.

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Um,

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>> oh, I don't know if we're going to keep

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getting applause off that. We're going

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to keep trying. Joe Jackson ordered

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three eggs and a belt. Anyway, I saw the

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movie.

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No, wait. I'll tell you Michael Jackson

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story, Chris.

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>> So, 91 when you came in. What was your

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first impression of

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>> Sorry, I didn't know. Were you starting?

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>> I did.

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>> The monitors have a lot of reverb.

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>> I feel like it's really kicking back.

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Uh, if they The mics are a little hot.

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Is that fountain? or I don't know. I

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can't really understand what you're

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saying. So, that's not a good thing, I

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guess.

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>> No, it is a Rock, you know about this.

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Are we getting a lot of kickback on

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these monitors or something?

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>> If you were a sound engineer,

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>> it feels echoey.

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>> Uh,

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>> did you guys did you guys do a sound

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check?

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>> Wouldn't that be great?

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>> That's what That's what I do normally.

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>> No.

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>> Wouldn't that be professional? I' got

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the sound check. I'm just

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didn't have time.

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>> No, it's wonderful.

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>> I left my house at noon.

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>> I was planning on getting there for a

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sound check.

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>> Oh, someone's screaming already.

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>> We've just added a second show. That's

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unbelievable.

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You guys

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>> I was going to tell you a story that is

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so uninteresting, but I'm going to tell

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it.

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>> Uh I did This is my only brief Michael

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Jackson uh

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>> Oh, okay.

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>> sex story. No, this is just my brief

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interactions. I was out in town. I had a

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joke about Michael Jax when I first

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moved out here. Just throwaway joke. And

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then the director of his videos uh was

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uh was doing his latest one, Liberian

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Girl, which wasn't a super banger, but

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it was on

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>> the director of Three Amigos.

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>> No, God, I can't remember his name.

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>> Filmopiles.

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>> He did a lot of commercials and stuff.

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Anyway,

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>> uh Jim Yuk maybe. Um anyway, so he says,

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"Hey, I'm doing this video and we're

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just having all cameos,

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>> but it was like Dan Akro. It was like

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big stars and he goes, "Do you want to

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be in it? You just we're just talking

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and doing stuff. You could just say your

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joke." So I said some stupid joke about

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it, but I was so excited to be in it.

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And then I wasn't in the video.

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>> And then I saw the director maybe three

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years ago and I said, "Hey," he goes,

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"Do you remember me? I was the director

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of that video you did." And I go, "Oh

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yeah, I wasn't in it." And he goes, "Oh,

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that's right." He goes, "You know what?

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Funny story. I didn't want to hear He

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goes, "I Michael would never talk to me

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about editing, but I showed him a cut

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and he called me in the middle of the

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night and said, "Hey, who's David

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Spade?" And he goes, "Oh, he's a

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comedian." And he just had a joke about

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you. So he put it in there and he goes,

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"Take him out." And that and he goes,

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"That was the only note for the whole

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video. Take me out." I was like, "Wow."

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>> And he goes, "Anyway, good seeing you."

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And I'm like, "Well, now

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that's what I got to live with about

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Michael Jackson." So anyway, we got time

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for one more.

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>> My Michael Jackson story.

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>> Oh, you got a Michael Jackson story.

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This one will be way better.

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>> Chris, we got cut out. Chris, you're up.

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>> My Michael Jackson story. It's a weird

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Okay, I got two.

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>> Okay. No, no. The first time I hosted

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the Oscars,

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there was like a a crew guy, a guy in

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the crew, like a a gaffer or something.

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>> And I guess he used to work at Michael's

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house or whatever, cuz Michael always

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did all sorts of stuff. And the guy

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literally gave me his phone. Somebody

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wants to talk to you.

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>> Oh wow.

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>> And he gives me the phone saying, "Hey,

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Chris, it's Michael.

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>> Break a leg." Okay. And that was it.

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>> That's better than mine already. Yeah.

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That's [ __ ] cool, though. Man, of

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words, but to the point. When was that?

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How How long ago?

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>> It was my It was the first time I

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hosted. So, yeah. Yeah. He because I

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remember when he passed away was in the

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Woodman's chocolate wasted scene at in

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grown-ups

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>> when we yeah we were in we were in uh in

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uh yeah

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>> yeah on the picnic tables we went to

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lunch

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>> and someone said it I don't think we had

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Instagram or anything but someone it's

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the rumor went around where I was like

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oh my god he just passed away

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>> and I remember Mama Rosone

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>> your mother-in-law in the movie

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>> yes

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>> was very sad it was hitting her very

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hard and I told her it wasn't for sure

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that it was just a rumor cuz I she had

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to have a softer After landing, she was

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totally already started crying.

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>> She was really bad. She Yeah, but that

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was uh Oh, that was in grown-ups

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applause.

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>> Thank you.

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>> 181 million domestic.

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>> 3,000 million.

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You guys all got a car from Adam? I

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understand.

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Did you get a car?

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>> I I I prefer money, but uh Yeah.

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>> But we did get a car. It was great.

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>> You got a car? Great. We got

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>> What kind of car? Everyone loves hear

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stories about rich people getting

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richer.

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>> You star in the movie. You're globally

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famous and you get a car.

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>> Yes.

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>> Nice.

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>> Everyone's like, "Oh, good for them."

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>> Yeah, definitely. Right. In the homeless

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capital of the world.

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>> Don't believe me? Walk outside. Anyway,

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um

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>> we're literally inside. India is

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outside.

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We stumbled into India. Uh, so I heard

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the other night you guys all went to the

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comedy store. I missed out. It sounds

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like fun. So you rolled with a pretty

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fun crew. Um, the comedy store is always

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fun. Like comedy seller when you go in,

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there's tons of comics, but because this

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is the festival, they're all kind of

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smashed in and when they're lost or

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don't have a sense of direction, you can

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always go to the comedy store. And so

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you went in. I heard it was you,

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Chappelle, Kanye, Louie. Did anybody go

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on or you just go in there to go watch?

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>> Uh,

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>> wait. Kanye West and Louis CK.

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>> Yes. The the canceled all stars

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>> because Dave

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>> Mount Rushmore of it fits somehow. How

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do you fit into that group? I I don't

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understand that.

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>> Chris is the nice fit.

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>> I, you know, I'm cool. I'm like

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Ludicrous. I'm cool with everybody.

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>> Sure. So, you go in, do you watch or do

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you just Does anybody go on? Dave went

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on uh Shane Gillis, too. Shane Gillis,

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>> another another home run hitter.

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>> He's doing very well.

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>> He's doing all right. So, yeah, Dave

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went on Shane.

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Uh Louie, then me, then Dave comes on

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and brings out Kanye.

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>> What What was his McDonald's bit?

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people. I mean, Kanye's like uh I I

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remember when people would do Letterman

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and he was just so famous. It was

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somebody said it was like sitting next

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to a $5 bill, you know?

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>> Yeah.

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>> And Kanye, you don't like you're like,

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is that a wax figure of Kanye? Like he's

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just that famous.

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>> Like, is that the real guy?

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>> Yeah. Is that the real guy? Yeah.

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>> And what does he say up there?

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>> He's not saying much.

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>> Yeah.

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>> He gets away with low effort

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>> right now. He's not saying much,

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>> but he's a he's a fire brand

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>> talking about his love of Seinfeld.

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>> Yeah.

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>> Yeah. It's funny. One of us was at the

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chateau,

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>> Chris. I was at the chateau and about

00:11:36

two months ago and then a girl walked by

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and I go, "Who?" I said, "Some lady just

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walked by in a full yoga or ballerina

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outfit."

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>> And then I go, "I wonder if there's

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something going on here." And then I saw

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Kanye and I go, "Oh, that's his wife,

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right?" Yeah. Yeah.

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>> And it kind of made sense like this is

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she dresses in a unique like she's

00:11:57

always going to the Met or something.

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>> Yeah. But it's weird if you talk to her,

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she's so smart.

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>> It's like talking to Diane Sawyer.

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>> Really?

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>> With huge tits.

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>> Yeah.

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>> Okay. Let's all think visualize that for

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a second.

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like like she's like,

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>> "Yeah, I got it."

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>> Good.

00:12:21

>> Beautiful.

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>> I kind of when you meet him, I met him

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at SNL on the 40th and him and Kim came

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around and they both had deep blue eyes

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and I just thought, "Shit, I guess they

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have blue eyes." I didn't think they had

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contacts. It was really weird.

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>> Yeah, that was just a blue-eyed night,

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you know.

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>> Yeah. Remember when Do you remember when

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I'm doing Chris Farley? You remember

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when he was going to attack me and Mike?

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We were doing Wayne's World. We had

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Kanye. He they had people holding him

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back like he was gonna attack us.

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>> I remember that.

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>> Was it a joke or was it

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>> It was only 10 years ago.

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>> Was he mad?

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>> No, he was fake mad. He was great in the

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sketch. It was like

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>> Oh, did he host?

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>> No, no, it was the 40th at the end of

00:12:57

the anniversary. Sorry.

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>> I didn't make the 50th. The plane plane

00:13:01

was late. So

00:13:05

>> Oh, are you going to go to the 60th?

00:13:09

>> Lauren will be 112.

00:13:13

It's that thing of like uh you know

00:13:15

Lauren always said don't stop. He always

00:13:17

said that to me. You never stop. And he

00:13:19

said Sydney Pouier told that to him

00:13:22

>> and then he stopped.

00:13:26

>> Did Sydney Poier stop?

00:13:28

>> I got nothing.

00:13:29

>> This is podcasting paid.

00:13:32

>> I did a song with Kanye. I did. Anyway.

00:13:35

Anyway.

00:13:36

>> Well, what do you mean you did?

00:13:36

>> Let's hear a couple bars.

00:13:38

>> No, no, no. I just I'm on one of those

00:13:40

albums. one or two of them.

00:13:42

>> Do you talk or do you say did you rap?

00:13:44

>> I just talked. I just talked in this

00:13:46

song called Blame Game and um

00:13:49

>> yeah,

00:13:51

>> a song called Blame Game. Uh he coached

00:13:55

me two 4hour sessions in the studio that

00:14:00

he cut down to about three minutes or

00:14:04

two minutes

00:14:05

>> and yeah, he's kind of a genius. So, you

00:14:08

know, whatever I did that. Is it hard to

00:14:11

stay focused talking to him or is he

00:14:13

he's probably interesting guy, right?

00:14:14

>> Oh, no. He's very interesting guy.

00:14:16

>> No, he did he did something that was

00:14:18

brilliant. I don't know if he was the

00:14:19

first one, but he'd have people sampling

00:14:21

beats and rhythms and stuff and he would

00:14:23

just walk around, listen, do it, change

00:14:26

that, do that, get this, go with that,

00:14:27

you know. So, he's got an ear,

00:14:29

>> knows what he's doing. Yeah.

00:14:30

>> Yeah.

00:14:32

Let's talk for just a quick second about

00:14:35

upgrading your energy game because

00:14:37

caffeine doesn't have to be boring.

00:14:40

>> No.

00:14:41

>> Five hour energy shots are changing

00:14:42

things up with

00:14:44

>> tasty caffeine in 17 bold flavors.

00:14:47

>> The one I keep coming back to is the

00:14:49

birthday cake flavor. It literally

00:14:51

tastes

00:14:52

like I'd say a vanilla cake. Buttery

00:14:56

confetti style notes.

00:15:00

celebration in a bottle and somehow you

00:15:03

get all that flavor with zero sugar, no

00:15:06

cake, no guilt.

00:15:09

>> So it's So it's all cake, no guilt.

00:15:14

>> On top of that,

00:15:15

>> but you're not eating a real cake.

00:15:17

>> You're not eating a real cake. It tastes

00:15:19

like cake. On top of that, you're

00:15:21

getting as much caffeine as a 12 ounce

00:15:23

premium cup of coffee without the sugar

00:15:26

crash. And since it's just a 2 o shot,

00:15:29

it's easy to take with you wherever the

00:15:32

day goes. It's a big flavor packed into

00:15:33

a tiny bottle, David. And it actually

00:15:35

makes your energy boost something to

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00:15:56

>> When you talk about you did top five the

00:15:59

movie, are your top five rappers the

00:16:01

same top five as they were when you

00:16:02

filmed?

00:16:03

>> My top five rappers, it probably changed

00:16:05

since top five the movie. I don't know.

00:16:07

Uh I would put Kanye number one. Uh I

00:16:11

would I don't know. Kanye, I'm really

00:16:14

I'm really loving Kendrick. Uh I

00:16:19

the the mo Kanye Kendrick I mean

00:16:25

God top five.

00:16:27

>> Mhm.

00:16:28

>> Uh Tupac didn't like me.

00:16:30

>> One hour.

00:16:31

>> Uh

00:16:33

>> wait a minute. That's a chapter. Tupac

00:16:35

didn't like me.

00:16:36

>> Tupac did not like me.

00:16:37

>> I didn't hear that. That's

00:16:39

>> see eye to eye on everything. Uh Snoop.

00:16:43

>> Snoop.

00:16:44

very very underrated but he's could get

00:16:48

everybody up.

00:16:48

>> JCole,

00:16:49

>> he's the most popular man in America.

00:16:52

>> Okay.

00:16:53

>> And then

00:16:55

>> does Eminem get any sugar?

00:16:56

>> Then Jay-Z,

00:16:58

>> then Eminem.

00:16:59

>> Then

00:17:00

>> interesting. Just on the

00:17:02

>> ice cubed then Eminem.

00:17:04

>> I like Eminem. Eminem's fine.

00:17:05

>> Yeah.

00:17:06

>> Eminem's to be listened to. You know

00:17:08

what I mean? Eminem is strictly for your

00:17:11

car. He's not like

00:17:15

What? What could you and Tupac not get

00:17:18

along about? That sounds so funny.

00:17:19

>> It was weird. It was um

00:17:21

>> cuz I had the same problem. It was just

00:17:24

>> I rubbed him wrong.

00:17:26

>> I mean, a you know, it's always the same

00:17:28

[ __ ] [ __ ] the same girls, right?

00:17:30

That's the first, right?

00:17:32

>> Like two, it's always like ah I saw

00:17:35

whatever, right?

00:17:36

>> He he always won that battle. But um

00:17:41

no, I remember I um one year at the MTV

00:17:44

awards, I presented some award.

00:17:46

>> Uh oh.

00:17:47

>> And uh Suge Knight was in the audience

00:17:49

and I did like some joke about Suge or

00:17:52

whatever the [ __ ] And then there was

00:17:54

the afterparty at uh Bryant Park

00:17:57

>> and

00:17:59

you know and I just had that special uh

00:18:01

bring the pain and Kanye and

00:18:05

>> not Kanye and Tupac was like what's up

00:18:08

with all that [ __ ] and black people

00:18:09

[ __ ] like like and he kind of

00:18:13

>> he kind of stepped to me but I didn't

00:18:16

Tupac was not that big. Everybody he he

00:18:19

photographs big but he's not that big. I

00:18:22

was like, you know, I was pretty skinn

00:18:24

I'm still pretty skinny. So, a skinny

00:18:26

guy can't wait to fight a skinny guy.

00:18:28

You know what I mean?

00:18:29

>> Yeah.

00:18:31

>> You're like, really?

00:18:33

Uh, but not nothing happened. Nothing

00:18:35

happened, but we definitely had a little

00:18:37

like,

00:18:39

>> you know,

00:18:39

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

00:18:40

>> There was definitely some mean mugging

00:18:42

going on. And I remember that and I just

00:18:45

remember that night everybody was scared

00:18:46

of Suge and like like Eric B. You

00:18:50

remember Eric B and Rock Kim?

00:18:52

>> And Eric,

00:18:55

>> it's like Eric B used to live in my

00:18:56

neighborhood and he was such a big drug

00:18:59

dealer that he uh like before he had a

00:19:03

record out, the guy had a Rolls-Royce on

00:19:05

[ __ ]

00:19:07

on like Myrtle Avenue. Okay. Like that

00:19:10

kind of drug dealer.

00:19:11

>> That's good.

00:19:12

>> And he was like, "Why'd you talk about

00:19:14

Suge?" I'm like, "If this guy is scared

00:19:16

of Suge,

00:19:17

>> yeah,

00:19:18

>> we're all in trouble." Like

00:19:20

>> I think even white people knew to be

00:19:22

scared of sugar.

00:19:23

>> Hammer was like, "Why' you do that?"

00:19:25

>> Hammer.

00:19:27

>> Hammer.

00:19:28

>> MC Hammer.

00:19:29

>> MC Hammer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

00:19:30

>> MC Hammer.

00:19:31

>> I've seen I've met them all.

00:19:32

>> Yeah.

00:19:33

>> I'm like Black Gump, man. I've met them

00:19:35

all.

00:19:37

>> I've been through every so many weird

00:19:41

eras of show

00:19:44

>> Eddie Murphy, Michael Jackson.

00:19:46

>> Did does anyone you

00:19:47

>> Kurt Cobain? We didn't meet.

00:19:50

>> We met Kurt.

00:19:51

>> Oh, you did meet Kurt. Oh, wow.

00:19:53

>> You were there. We met Kurt.

00:19:55

>> Yeah, I hosted the MTV Music Awards when

00:19:57

they were on. Oh, yeah.

00:19:58

>> Where the guy threw the bass up and

00:19:59

almost fell on his head.

00:20:00

>> Hey, man. I once went to a black church

00:20:03

with Courtney Love. Okay.

00:20:06

>> Now, black women get mad when they see

00:20:08

you with a white girl anytime.

00:20:12

But when you walk into a black church

00:20:14

with Courtney Love,

00:20:17

>> what were you thinking?

00:20:19

>> Whose idea was it?

00:20:21

>> They're like literally cursing like,

00:20:23

"WHAT THE WHAT THE GODDAMN [ __ ] IS GOING

00:20:25

ON?"

00:20:29

>> What the godamn [ __ ]

00:20:32

Ah,

00:20:34

>> yeah. I remember Kurt and Courtney

00:20:35

sitting on the on the ground by the page

00:20:38

desk in that hallway just between songs

00:20:42

and just hanging out on the floor. Uh

00:20:44

the I think they they were in music

00:20:46

twice

00:20:47

>> and one time I definitely remember that

00:20:48

I definitely seeing them in the

00:20:51

cafeteria and we had dinner after they

00:20:53

rehearsed

00:20:54

>> and just but you didn't know. I mean no

00:20:56

one knew it was big the second time they

00:20:58

came on. They were a bigger deal. But

00:20:59

it's definitely fun when you're back

00:21:01

there and you see all the hosts or music

00:21:03

that you love and then they're just

00:21:05

stuck talking to you.

00:21:06

>> Who's the host when you were there that

00:21:07

kind of blew you away or nervous to meet

00:21:10

kind of

00:21:11

>> um

00:21:12

>> because it's weird in SNL you just

00:21:13

you're in your office or something, the

00:21:15

host is in up front and then they'll say

00:21:18

Charlton H would like to say hello.

00:21:20

You're like what? Yeah.

00:21:22

>> You know, I mean, some of those nons

00:21:25

don't know. They were all big stars.

00:21:27

Just some I remember being

00:21:31

>> and the guy has always been great, but I

00:21:33

couldn't believe how talented Tom Hanks

00:21:36

was.

00:21:37

>> Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

00:21:38

Absolutely.

00:21:39

>> You know, you'd be at the the read

00:21:40

through and he could do like nine

00:21:42

different voices and you know, and he

00:21:44

was reading everything Cole and he was

00:21:47

just crushing everything. you like

00:21:50

>> sometimes you realize this is why

00:21:52

they're famous.

00:21:52

>> Yeah.

00:21:53

>> Because you go some people would bring

00:21:54

real star there's like a star power

00:21:57

about them like you go this person's a

00:21:59

star and then there's some that sort of

00:22:00

flatline during the week and I go I

00:22:02

don't get it. You even you can just see

00:22:04

them read sketches and you go

00:22:06

>> they got nothing. I mean it's hard to do

00:22:09

the show.

00:22:10

>> It's hard to read. My favorite was

00:22:11

Steven Seagal.

00:22:13

>> Uh

00:22:14

>> oh yeah. Steven Seagal comes on. Okay.

00:22:18

So there's there's this um

00:22:20

>> the legends of Steven Seagal was he was

00:22:22

a a bodyguard for Mike Obitz or

00:22:24

something.

00:22:25

>> Yeah. Agent Tai Chi.

00:22:27

>> Tai Chi or whatever.

00:22:29

>> Martial artist. Yeah.

00:22:30

>> Whatever. And

00:22:32

>> so he's like this kind of move kind of

00:22:35

like this be movie star. And

00:22:39

C C there

00:22:41

>> C B was a little strong. Yeah.

00:22:44

>> B plus. She's like, "Scott Bale's B and

00:22:48

he's under Scott."

00:22:51

>> I personally really like Scott Bale.

00:22:53

>> I like Scott. I like Scott. Anyway, and

00:22:56

I remember we're he's at the readthrough

00:23:00

table

00:23:01

and he's at the front.

00:23:03

>> Yeah.

00:23:03

>> And it's time to read the first sketch

00:23:06

and Steven Seagal picks up this thing

00:23:09

and starts to read. And you realize at

00:23:12

that moment he's never auditioned for

00:23:14

anything in his life. Oh yeah.

00:23:16

>> You realize at that moment there is a

00:23:18

really a mafia

00:23:20

>> and they got him in.

00:23:21

>> You literally shove this guy on a

00:23:22

[ __ ] movie.

00:23:23

>> Yeah. Cole reading is hard to do anyway.

00:23:26

>> It's hard anyway. But

00:23:27

>> and you're in front of all these people.

00:23:28

And

00:23:29

>> what was the one with Tommy Lee Jones on

00:23:30

the boat?

00:23:31

>> Even Trump's like, "Pick it up." You

00:23:33

know,

00:23:34

>> pick it up. So it, you know, when we

00:23:38

were when he came on, uh Kevin and I did

00:23:40

Hansen Fron at the read through. Thank

00:23:43

you.

00:23:45

And we were making fun of Steven was

00:23:47

just button. He's got the script. And

00:23:49

we're doing stuff like Arnold could

00:23:51

definitely flick you with his little

00:23:53

little finger and you would fly across

00:23:55

the room and land in your own baby poop

00:23:58

avalanche.

00:23:59

>> And he's just like this reading. Yes.

00:24:01

Okay. Right. You know that kind of

00:24:02

stuff. So then we're rehearsing on 88h

00:24:05

on Thursday just like here. Basically we

00:24:07

read the scene. He doesn't he's never

00:24:09

said a word whether he liked or didn't

00:24:11

like the sketch. and he gets on the show

00:24:13

and then we cut for a rehearsal. He

00:24:15

walks off way off to the side and he's

00:24:17

just staring up the bleachers. I don't

00:24:19

know what he's doing. I'll go over and

00:24:20

talk to him and say, "Stephen, are you

00:24:22

okay?" And this is the quote exactly

00:24:24

like this, not looking at me. I just

00:24:27

wish Arnold was here so I could kick his

00:24:29

[ __ ] ass.

00:24:34

>> So for 72 hours, he was steamed about

00:24:37

that sketch.

00:24:40

And I did tell Arnold 6 months later in

00:24:43

Santa Monica in a restaurant with a foot

00:24:45

long cigar with all the Austrian guys

00:24:47

around him. I go, "Stephen Seagull says

00:24:48

he kick your ass, you know." And Arnold

00:24:50

just leaned back and went, "Is that the

00:24:53

fact?"

00:24:56

It's true. Absolutely true. Not a bit.

00:24:59

Is that the fact?

00:25:01

>> Any blue smoke greens, it's still girly

00:25:03

man.

00:25:05

>> You better see if it's a golf story.

00:25:07

>> No. You know who else? But I thought,

00:25:08

you know, else was I was a little star

00:25:10

struck by was Michael Jordan.

00:25:12

>> And Michael Jordan was the biggest host

00:25:14

of our time.

00:25:15

>> Yeah, definitely.

00:25:16

>> And he was still playing, right? Was he

00:25:19

still playing?

00:25:20

>> It was before McDonald's with Michael.

00:25:22

>> Oh, we did. We went down and went to

00:25:24

McDonald's underneath.

00:25:25

>> We went to McDonald's with [ __ ]

00:25:28

lifetime bucket list thing and I spaced

00:25:30

it. We went down and he goes, "Let's all

00:25:33

go." Yeah. Like during rehearsal, let's

00:25:35

all run down.

00:25:36

>> He was special. You and I used to go to

00:25:37

McDonald's all the time. That's why

00:25:39

we're so malnutrition. I ate there so

00:25:42

much. We never made that much money and

00:25:44

it was always like scraping. But u I did

00:25:47

remember that we went there and there

00:25:49

was that sketch in the 50s where Rob was

00:25:52

the announcer. Oh, they're really giving

00:25:54

the referees the business. And we were

00:25:56

an all-white team. We didn't want

00:25:57

Michael on our team. Remember that?

00:26:03

And he and he's like at halftime going,

00:26:05

"Can someone pass me the ball?"

00:26:08

>> Did you guys have any interaction with

00:26:10

Michael? Like personal

00:26:11

>> I I don't remember. I mean I

00:26:15

>> He was so intimidating because

00:26:17

>> he was a sweetheart. He was I was

00:26:19

>> sweet, but it was just like he came up

00:26:20

to me and he goes, "Uh, do you golf?"

00:26:23

And I go, "Well, a little bit. You know,

00:26:24

what do you shoot?" I go, "I'm terrible.

00:26:26

I I don't know. I maybe a hundred or

00:26:29

something." And he just paused and he

00:26:30

was very serious. He goes, "Um, well,

00:26:32

you're not very good, are you?"

00:26:36

>> He said, "No, I'm not." Anyway, he was

00:26:40

he was The other one was Mel Gibson.

00:26:43

When Mel Gibson in his handsome prime

00:26:45

hosted, I'd never seen the staff, the

00:26:48

women on the staff get that crazy. Do

00:26:50

you remember that?

00:26:51

>> Well, I was not there for Mel Gibson,

00:26:53

>> and he is a hottie.

00:26:54

>> I did a I did a

00:26:56

>> You did Oh, you did Lethal Weapon Lethal

00:26:58

Weapon.

00:26:58

>> I did uh Lethal Weapon 4.

00:27:01

with uh

00:27:04

>> with uh Mel Gibson before the you know

00:27:08

>> sugar tits

00:27:09

>> just another guy that really loves

00:27:13

Seinfeld right about now.

00:27:18

>> There's a theme there.

00:27:20

>> I love this theme.

00:27:23

>> Yeah, go Wikipedia. Ask

00:27:26

>> I just You got to be cancelled for me to

00:27:27

be friends with you.

00:27:29

Why do celebrities who drink not get a

00:27:33

driver

00:27:35

>> or an Uber or or a Whimo?

00:27:39

>> Why is Tiger Woods still

00:27:41

>> see you later? I'm taking the

00:27:42

Oldsmobile. I mean,

00:27:44

>> you know what?

00:27:44

>> Take the keys away.

00:27:46

>> I think too many I knew Tiger was in

00:27:48

trouble.

00:27:50

>> He was uh that, you know, had the whole

00:27:53

cheating and whatever and his wife beat

00:27:55

up the thing. Then he had a press

00:27:57

conference with all his friends and he

00:27:59

apologized. Now, right,

00:28:01

>> Tiger's black and Asian and he has a

00:28:03

press conference with his friends and

00:28:05

none of them are black or Asian.

00:28:08

>> Oh, what are they?

00:28:10

>> I was like, okay,

00:28:13

>> sometimes if you're that famous,

00:28:15

>> you got to have a Mario Joiner in there

00:28:17

somewhere. You got to

00:28:20

>> somebody.

00:28:21

>> No, but

00:28:22

>> Steve Harvey, I don't know. Somebody

00:28:26

somebody come on. It's like not one.

00:28:30

>> But if he's doing some things that he I

00:28:33

if he's that level of fame, I think he

00:28:36

just doesn't want a witness.

00:28:38

>> You know what I mean? You don't want

00:28:39

someone knowing what you're doing,

00:28:41

hearing you talk on the phone,

00:28:43

>> and just quietly taking in info.

00:28:45

>> Doesn't work cuz he has the money to

00:28:47

hire a new driver twice a day.

00:28:51

>> Is that the fix? You drive in the

00:28:52

morning, now you're out.

00:28:53

>> Well, I guess you should have a

00:28:54

full-time driver. Yeah. I mean, yeah,

00:28:56

you can't have a full

00:28:57

>> And you're not paying them to drive.

00:28:59

You're paying them to shut the [ __ ] up.

00:29:03

>> Exactly.

00:29:04

>> Exactly.

00:29:06

>> Everybody could drive.

00:29:09

>> I can't find anyone else. Shut the [ __ ]

00:29:11

up.

00:29:11

>> But only the good ones can shut the [ __ ]

00:29:13

up.

00:29:14

>> Yeah.

00:29:14

>> Right.

00:29:15

>> And if they're deaf and mute, it's

00:29:17

better.

00:29:17

>> How you doing, Mr. ROCK? OH, YOU GOT

00:29:20

THREE PROSTITUTES. I ain't seeing

00:29:22

nothing.

00:29:23

>> Yeah,

00:29:26

>> I love fake driving. It's not

00:29:29

>> It's like 1941

00:29:31

steering.

00:29:32

>> All right, Tiger. We're going to the

00:29:33

cause now.

00:29:34

>> That's what you're paying for.

00:29:37

>> Silence.

00:29:38

>> That's

00:29:40

>> That was a good topic.

00:29:43

>> That was a good topic.

00:29:44

>> Where we at?

00:29:45

>> Hey, it's your podcast.

00:29:47

>> You've been busy. I can't

00:29:50

Why were you at the Met Gal? I was

00:29:52

looking for you.

00:29:53

>> Um I don't know. I don't know.

00:29:55

>> You didn't have anything stupid enough

00:29:56

to wear.

00:29:56

>> I went last year. I didn't go to show.

00:29:58

Who

00:29:58

>> did you go best? Who wore it best?

00:30:00

>> I went last year. I didn't go to show.

00:30:01

I've been a couple of times.

00:30:02

>> Do you wear something weird or just a

00:30:04

tux?

00:30:04

>> Um just a tux. Just a tux. I've been a

00:30:07

couple of times. I don't I still don't

00:30:09

know what it's for.

00:30:12

>> Is there anything after those stairs?

00:30:15

Because once they get to that,

00:30:17

>> I would just go home.

00:30:20

>> Yeah. This this it's nothing. Like I got

00:30:23

invited last year and the year before

00:30:27

that I was like trying to save a

00:30:29

relationship.

00:30:30

>> Oh.

00:30:31

>> Oh, really interesting.

00:30:33

>> Hey, maybe if I take her to the Met

00:30:35

Ball. Nope.

00:30:36

>> Yeah.

00:30:39

>> Maybe if maybe I'm going to take you

00:30:40

around more famous people. That's the

00:30:43

tough one.

00:30:43

>> Yeah. Yeah. What goes on? I mean, we've

00:30:46

we only see the red carpet, right? And

00:30:48

then what goes on after that?

00:30:50

>> You eat shrimp.

00:30:52

>> You eat shrimp. You can't eat shrimp.

00:30:55

>> A lot of rich people. Lot of rich techy

00:30:59

>> white people.

00:31:00

>> They like, "Oo, this is Bob uh Zaminga

00:31:05

and his family owns the button."

00:31:10

>> They invented the button.

00:31:12

This is like all the buttons on the

00:31:15

world.

00:31:15

>> You ever heard about buttons?

00:31:16

>> Own all the buttons on earth.

00:31:19

>> Yeah.

00:31:20

>> If you're nice to him, he'll let you on

00:31:22

his boat.

00:31:23

>> Yeah.

00:31:24

>> You got to have a This is

00:31:26

>> He gets a piece of

00:31:27

>> Kelly Blue BL and her family owns green.

00:31:33

>> Just green.

00:31:35

>> Yeah. Jeff Basos has a 500 bill what a

00:31:40

million dollar boat. It's like a

00:31:42

thousand foot long. It's got a sail.

00:31:44

It's got another boat behind it. He's

00:31:45

selling it because, quote, "It draws too

00:31:48

much attention."

00:31:52

>> God bless.

00:31:52

>> Maybe it's the five. I do like his wife

00:31:54

though.

00:31:55

>> Lauren Sanchez. You got to root for

00:31:56

that.

00:31:57

>> I've known Lauren a little while. Yeah.

00:31:59

Lauren.

00:32:00

>> Have you been on that one?

00:32:01

>> I have not been on that boat.

00:32:04

>> Have you been on George Lucas's?

00:32:07

>> Have you been on Geffin's boat?

00:32:09

>> I've been on some boats.

00:32:11

I like

00:32:12

>> I I have a problem with a boat

00:32:14

invitation. Yes.

00:32:16

>> You'd rather float than sink.

00:32:18

>> Hey, I I tell some jokes and I you know

00:32:21

>> get on boats

00:32:22

>> and I get on boats.

00:32:23

>> You get on boats. What? You don't have

00:32:25

to say the name of the owner, but what's

00:32:26

the best boat you've been on that you

00:32:28

weren't? Holy [ __ ]

00:32:29

>> I I

00:32:29

>> They're all nice, right?

00:32:30

>> They're all They're all nice.

00:32:33

>> Your own.

00:32:33

>> And it's, you know, to be black and to

00:32:35

get on a boat leisurely is a

00:32:39

>> is a Okay.

00:32:41

>> It's a great thing. It's like

00:32:44

>> Okay.

00:32:45

>> It's like, "Oo, I'm up top."

00:32:48

>> You know, Chris, I don't know if you're

00:32:50

working on your standup, but you've got

00:32:52

you got at least four bangers in here

00:32:54

that you can expect and this is being

00:32:56

recorded.

00:32:57

>> But that is a great line.

00:32:58

>> I'm like, "Woo!"

00:32:59

>> You go to Met Gallas, you go to the

00:33:01

Oscars, you go on boats. Well, you're

00:33:03

living my I just know my kids are grown.

00:33:05

I go out.

00:33:06

>> Yeah. I know you from out the house. you

00:33:09

would get a tuna sandwich and you're

00:33:11

just in a sketch and now good lord

00:33:14

>> look at us.

00:33:15

>> All right. I found it kind of

00:33:17

interesting that you did SNL and then

00:33:18

you did in Living Color and then you

00:33:21

were sort of I think you did a movie or

00:33:22

something. You're just sort of in it

00:33:24

like this and then you did bring the

00:33:25

pain and I remember watching it and went

00:33:28

oh something just happened like

00:33:30

something new happened with that special

00:33:33

because I think you said you weren't

00:33:34

serious. At least that's the quote I

00:33:36

mean you weren't serious. I left SNL.

00:33:40

>> I went to Living Color.

00:33:45

>> Um,

00:33:46

>> I was in Living Color. Was it their last

00:33:47

season or close to

00:33:48

>> It was their last season. Of course,

00:33:50

soon as I get there, the Waynees quit.

00:33:53

>> Cuz that's they were a big part of that.

00:33:55

>> That's just the luck of me. You know

00:33:57

what I mean? Like

00:34:00

>> the Waynees quit the show. They are the

00:34:02

show.

00:34:02

>> Yeah.

00:34:02

>> Well, you had Jim Carrey, right? you got

00:34:05

Jim Carrey, you got

00:34:06

>> that's that's me.

00:34:08

>> Uh so I get there cuz I I I felt I don't

00:34:11

know. I just felt a cultural shift.

00:34:14

>> But uh then that show gets cancelled

00:34:17

and so I got no job.

00:34:20

>> I got no job. Uh no TV job. You know

00:34:24

that that good TV money. What happened

00:34:27

was I bought a house in Brooklyn and uh

00:34:31

I bought a carriage house that I would

00:34:33

that I would later lose a divorce. But

00:34:36

anyway, uh I bought a carriage house.

00:34:39

>> Sorry. Everyone loses a carriage house

00:34:41

in a divorce at some point.

00:34:44

>> I don't know. I just had a big ass

00:34:46

mortgage and I had to do more shows.

00:34:49

>> Okay.

00:34:49

>> And when I did more shows, I got [ __ ]

00:34:52

better. And at some point my brother,

00:34:56

I'm not gonna say the comedian because

00:34:57

that would be disrespectful, but me and

00:34:59

my brother went to see a comedian at

00:35:02

Radio City,

00:35:03

>> right?

00:35:04

>> And like like normal people, like we got

00:35:06

we made some calls and we got some

00:35:08

tickets

00:35:09

>> and

00:35:12

I'm a comedian, right? And I like I can

00:35:16

count on one hand the amount of times

00:35:17

I've sat in an audience for a comedy

00:35:19

show. Right.

00:35:19

>> Right.

00:35:20

>> And

00:35:21

I left the show. show. I thought it was

00:35:23

great. I thought the show was great and

00:35:24

the go the show was great, but my

00:35:26

brother my brother Andre goes, "You're

00:35:29

better than that guy. The [ __ ] out of

00:35:32

here." And it hadn't occurred to It's

00:35:35

like when the sometimes the the the kid

00:35:37

that's getting bullied gets bigger than

00:35:39

the bully.

00:35:41

>> Yeah.

00:35:41

>> And doesn't realize it yet.

00:35:43

>> Right. So, right around that time, it

00:35:46

took my brother telling me that I was

00:35:48

better

00:35:50

to actually snap me out of this.

00:35:53

>> And this was kind of a national

00:35:54

headliner. This was

00:35:56

>> And then like Yeah. And then, you know,

00:35:58

it's like one of those Rocky montages

00:35:59

where I'm just knocking [ __ ]

00:36:01

out. Like I'm just like I was just I had

00:36:04

gotten a lot better just just from

00:36:06

trying to pay for this house.

00:36:07

>> Yeah.

00:36:08

>> I got really good.

00:36:10

>> That's great.

00:36:11

>> So, get a big mortgage. Yeah,

00:36:14

>> everyone's like a comedy club and you

00:36:17

know

00:36:17

>> Yeah, but I I I was out of show, but I

00:36:19

was I mean, put it this way, too. I had

00:36:21

given up. I'd been in a few movies. I'd

00:36:24

been on Siren Live. I've been on Living

00:36:25

Color. I kind of thought I was done.

00:36:29

>> As far as like being a famous person,

00:36:31

>> right?

00:36:32

>> Right.

00:36:32

>> So, my concern, not even a concern, I

00:36:35

was like, "Okay, I love standup." And

00:36:39

all I wanted out of standup, and this is

00:36:42

like this guy's a big star, but all I

00:36:44

wanted out of standup was to be George

00:36:46

Wallace.

00:36:48

>> Okay?

00:36:48

>> Like George Wallace to me was like a

00:36:52

great standup.

00:36:52

>> A great standup crushes every night.

00:36:56

>> Never want to follow. would he would

00:36:58

come in to the club, you know, the only

00:37:00

other black guy, by the way, and he had

00:37:03

great suits on

00:37:05

>> and he had a [ __ ] Cadillac and he was

00:37:09

opening for bands in Vegas and whatnot.

00:37:13

And he was the only he was the only guy

00:37:16

I knew that was so organized. He had

00:37:18

like a real schedule. like he didn't

00:37:20

work in the summer like like he would

00:37:22

actually vacation and he had houses here

00:37:25

and there and I was like man if I can

00:37:27

just be like George Wallace

00:37:29

>> then then my dream that's that's what I

00:37:31

took it seriously he was but that guy

00:37:33

was like a Jedi

00:37:35

>> like he wasn't thinking about being on

00:37:37

TV or a sitcom or a movie

00:37:41

just working comedian was like okay

00:37:44

that's what I want to be I want to be a

00:37:46

focused great comedian that other

00:37:49

comedian Ians respect soon as I walk in

00:37:51

the walk in the room.

00:37:52

>> Well, that's what I wanted to ask you

00:37:53

because you know Gaffigan, Jim Gaffigan,

00:37:56

Jerry Seinfeld, these are they get with

00:37:59

the tape or they get with their notes. I

00:38:01

mean Jerry gets nervous if he needs that

00:38:03

one hour a day with his notes. Were you

00:38:04

like that or was just the reps on stage

00:38:07

or did you record it and listen because

00:38:09

that's very painful to do for a

00:38:11

>> I would record it. I would listen the

00:38:14

next day.

00:38:14

>> Okay. I mean, also I was one of these,

00:38:16

you know, I'll I'll give this me and my

00:38:18

my ex-wife go back and forth. She I I

00:38:21

you know, I was I was a Yes. I was I had

00:38:24

been on Saturday Night Live. I've been

00:38:25

in New Jack City. I was, you know, a a

00:38:30

mini millionaire at the time, but when I

00:38:32

met her, I grew as a person,

00:38:36

>> you know what I mean? Because I'd never

00:38:37

really had a relationship, a a grownup

00:38:40

relationship. Gotcha. So as I was

00:38:42

growing up as a person, I was growing up

00:38:46

as a comic,

00:38:48

>> you know. So I I just I just had IS

00:38:54

wider way

00:38:56

>> and the better I you know, and it

00:38:58

>> I I lucked up, you know what I mean? I I

00:39:00

lucked up in the sense that

00:39:03

>> you know, wow, [ __ ] I've been around a

00:39:05

long time. So,

00:39:07

um, you know, I guess there's

00:39:09

channeling, but I'm one of the first

00:39:11

cable stars, you know what I mean? Like,

00:39:14

>> right,

00:39:14

>> you know what I mean? Like, it was, it

00:39:15

was like, it when I broke it, it it was

00:39:18

not

00:39:19

>> from television at all. It wasn't from

00:39:21

normal TV at all.

00:39:22

>> It was from cable TV. So, I was like

00:39:25

this HBO thing.

00:39:27

>> HBO was Bring the Pain. And it got a lot

00:39:29

of awards and recognition. Got awards.

00:39:32

Critics loved it. And for some reason,

00:39:34

you know how it's just a joke sticks in

00:39:36

your head. Something about peanut butter

00:39:38

and jelly in the same jar. I don't know

00:39:40

why. I never forgot that. I don't know

00:39:42

why.

00:39:42

>> What is that joke? My We were so poor.

00:39:44

My My mother used to buy the peanut

00:39:46

butter and the jelly same jar. That's

00:39:50

like buying a a a shoe with a sock sold

00:39:54

inside.

00:39:57

>> Call it a shock.

00:39:59

>> Oh, a shock. Yeah.

00:40:03

When did you do Ninja with Farley?

00:40:06

>> I did Beverly Hills Ninja with Chris

00:40:08

Far. That was like me being

00:40:10

>> Was that when you were

00:40:12

>> That was before Bring the Pain.

00:40:14

>> That was That was after Living Color.

00:40:18

That was me broke as [ __ ]

00:40:21

>> Just take Well, you take it for the

00:40:22

money, right? You just go I'll just go

00:40:23

do a

00:40:23

>> Yeah. I was like Well, I was like, "Oh,

00:40:24

wait a minute. This guy I used to share

00:40:26

an office with gets $10 million a

00:40:29

picture or so."

00:40:30

>> It was like what the [ __ ] Yeah.

00:40:34

>> What the [ __ ] happened here?

00:40:36

>> That was after Tommy Boy.

00:40:37

>> Yeah, like Tommy Boy. But we did that.

00:40:41

>> Um, I had a lot of fun doing it. Here's

00:40:43

the funny thing about that movie.

00:40:45

>> I was horrible in that movie. Well,

00:40:47

initially, right?

00:40:48

>> So, I was cut out of the whole movie.

00:40:52

>> Like, you were cut out of the Michael

00:40:54

Jackson.

00:40:56

>> Yeah.

00:40:57

>> I'm cut out of the whole movie. Bring

00:41:00

the pain comes on HBO

00:41:03

>> and suddenly they put me back in.

00:41:04

>> They cut you back in. Wow.

00:41:07

>> Suddenly everything I did me at craft

00:41:11

services eating a Snickers.

00:41:14

>> It's in the credits.

00:41:15

>> It's in the movie.

00:41:17

>> It's like everything's in the movie now.

00:41:19

>> Great.

00:41:20

>> Brought in like three editors. Yes. Yes.

00:41:22

Reaction on Chris. He's not IN THE

00:41:24

SCENE. I SAID

00:41:26

>> YEAH.

00:41:26

>> YEAH. That that was big. That was big.

00:41:28

>> Yeah. That That was a a seismic.

00:41:30

>> Now, what was your next move after you

00:41:31

got big from Bring the Pain? I mean,

00:41:33

what was your next?

00:41:34

>> Um, it's weird. I did another special. I

00:41:37

did. I mean, I did Here's the weird

00:41:39

thing. I'm just like, I'm getting I can

00:41:41

I'm hanging with Madonna and uh

00:41:47

So, I'm with Madonna, right? And

00:41:49

>> yeah,

00:41:50

>> whatever. And you're hanging with her.

00:41:54

>> I'm hanging.

00:41:54

>> Okay.

00:41:56

And uh she pulls out, she's getting

00:41:59

ready to do a special in Cuba. I'm

00:42:03

really I'm literally right next to her.

00:42:06

She calls her manager or somebody and

00:42:09

she cancels the special in Cuba. Really

00:42:12

la last moment thing, right?

00:42:16

So,

00:42:18

I know how much money she's getting

00:42:21

and I

00:42:24

offer I call up Chris Albre at HBO go

00:42:28

I'll do I'll do a special right now

00:42:32

but I got to get the same money

00:42:36

>> and

00:42:36

>> and I GOT IT.

00:42:38

>> [ __ ]

00:42:39

>> WOW. SO,

00:42:41

>> so whatever it was, you could imagine.

00:42:45

But before that, I probably got 20 grand

00:42:47

for Bring the Pain. Like, no comedian

00:42:50

made any money

00:42:52

to do it.

00:42:53

>> They're like, "Take Madonna's money.

00:42:54

Give me that money."

00:42:56

>> Yeah.

00:42:56

>> But you did you shoot it in Cuba?

00:42:58

>> We No, no, no. We shot We shot Bigger

00:43:00

and Blacker at the Apollo.

00:43:02

>> Okay, that's right.

00:43:03

>> And uh

00:43:04

>> Yeah.

00:43:05

>> So, I did that. So, those two specials

00:43:07

are like kind of like a year apart or

00:43:09

year and a half apart,

00:43:10

>> right?

00:43:11

>> But, um,

00:43:11

>> but you were ready or you didn't know?

00:43:13

>> I wasn't really ready, but I knew I got

00:43:15

it together.

00:43:17

>> And I mean, I, you know, it's that time

00:43:20

in your life where

00:43:22

>> this, you know, there's a time in your

00:43:24

life when you're just a vessel

00:43:26

>> and the shit's coming through you like

00:43:28

that, you know?

00:43:29

>> So, I was at that vessel point.

00:43:32

>> Go Chris. And uh

00:43:34

>> go Chris goes coming through me.

00:43:36

>> And uh that I mean

00:43:39

>> most people think bigger and black is

00:43:41

better. Bring the paper. That's like

00:43:43

when when they were albums or DVDs,

00:43:45

Bigger and Black are always sold more.

00:43:47

>> Oh, really?

00:43:48

>> Yeah. It's it's the bigger special.

00:43:50

>> Um

00:43:50

>> Well, it's good they're even close. I

00:43:52

mean, usually a lot of people have one

00:43:54

killer and then the rest, you know,

00:43:56

because right now people do a lot of

00:43:57

specials in a row and some get watered

00:44:00

down. So then I started doing movies and

00:44:03

>> you know Mel Gibson called

00:44:06

>> hello

00:44:09

>> Melly Mel.

00:44:11

>> He was nice. It was it's crazy when you

00:44:14

see what happens to people.

00:44:16

>> And when when did

00:44:17

>> he was the nicest guy

00:44:20

>> to everybody.

00:44:22

>> Even the Jews.

00:44:25

>> He was just nice.

00:44:27

>> Yeah.

00:44:27

>> Yeah. I never in one thing.

00:44:30

>> Um

00:44:32

>> I think I mean I just I think he's

00:44:34

brilliant. I mean you never seen

00:44:36

Apocalypto apocalyptto was one of the

00:44:39

best movies ever made.

00:44:40

>> Yeah. It's unbelievable. I mean and as

00:44:43

an actor so

00:44:45

>> second chances

00:44:47

>> you know. No I got Hey

00:44:49

>> David I gave him a second chance.

00:44:51

>> Hey

00:44:52

hey if they want to do another lethal

00:44:54

weapon I'll take that check.

00:44:56

>> Yeah. What's your biggest mailbox check?

00:44:59

>> Madagascar.

00:45:00

>> Mad Oh, yeah.

00:45:02

>> Oh, it is

00:45:03

>> that I TURNED DOWN MADAGASCAR.

00:45:06

>> WHOA.

00:45:07

>> WELL, I WAS I don't know. I

00:45:08

>> What the hell was going on with you?

00:45:10

>> I had I had a bad day.

00:45:11

>> You couldn't think of a Are you allergic

00:45:13

to money?

00:45:15

>> Kind of.

00:45:17

>> Hes No, they wanted me to do a South

00:45:19

African accent and I was like really

00:45:21

working on it. I think Sasha [ __ ] did

00:45:23

it. Ah,

00:45:24

>> but now did you do the first movie? It's

00:45:27

not that because I did Secret Life of

00:45:29

Pets. The first movie there was

00:45:32

>> Thank you.

00:45:33

>> Hold your applause. And then the first

00:45:34

movie you didn't get much from

00:45:35

Madagascar.

00:45:36

>> No, no, no, no. DreamWorks was a new

00:45:39

company.

00:45:40

>> Okay.

00:45:40

>> So, this is the same, you know, I've

00:45:43

been lucky a few times. So, you get if

00:45:45

you get someplace early, they they

00:45:47

overpay. And

00:45:49

>> you know, DreamWorks pays better than

00:45:50

some of the other

00:45:51

>> DreamWorks. Hey man, for the Shrek guys.

00:45:55

>> Yeah,

00:45:55

>> it's like you know those guys

00:45:57

>> Yeah.

00:45:57

>> they made so much money none of them

00:46:00

ever worked again.

00:46:02

>> They all went like 20 years without

00:46:04

working. They made so much money

00:46:05

>> and now they have two more they just

00:46:07

did.

00:46:07

>> Yeah. Yeah.

00:46:08

>> So it's like Yeah.

00:46:09

>> Yeah.

00:46:09

>> Yeah. Shrek.

00:46:10

>> I love Eddie.

00:46:13

This is how crazy Eddie could be. Eddie

00:46:15

has the studio in his house, like the

00:46:18

recording studio in his house. So all he

00:46:20

has to do is go downstairs to do donkey

00:46:23

and

00:46:24

>> to do donkey

00:46:26

>> and

00:46:27

>> all right you do Eddie and I'll do my

00:46:30

>> and he would he would make them wait for

00:46:32

months at a time

00:46:35

>> and at least twice they negotiated deals

00:46:38

with me to play donkey.

00:46:40

>> Seriously. And then Eddie just went

00:46:43

downstairs

00:46:47

>> and I'm out of $30 million.

00:46:54

>> Just cuz Eddie went downstairs.

00:46:55

>> The highs and the lows.

00:46:58

>> He's 30.

00:46:59

>> I'm I'm on my way to the studio. YEAH,

00:47:02

I'M DONKEY. OH, Eddie went downstairs.

00:47:05

[ __ ]

00:47:07

>> [ __ ] [ __ ]

00:47:09

>> GOD DAMN IT. EDDIE WENT DOWNSTAIRS.

00:47:13

>> He's in his pajamas doing donkey right

00:47:16

now.

00:47:20

>> He's sad. You've had a big life, Chris.

00:47:24

>> It's getting bigger.

00:47:28

>> Good lord. Py tank.

00:47:30

>> Tang.

00:47:31

>> I think

00:47:32

>> py tag.

00:47:32

>> It's a title you can never forget of a

00:47:35

movie. Hey man,

00:47:39

everybody thinks they're famous and you

00:47:42

know you know there was a point I was so

00:47:46

famous I got a movie called Py Tank Man

00:47:49

>> where no one where the lead character

00:47:51

doesn't speak English

00:47:54

>> you got that pity on the run

00:47:58

>> sate

00:48:01

>> uh created by Louis CK

00:48:03

>> Louis CK was

00:48:04

>> written by Louis CK and a a little bit

00:48:07

myself. I got some jokes in there, but

00:48:09

uh yeah.

00:48:10

>> What about I'm going to get you sucker?

00:48:11

Where's the one where you said give me

00:48:12

some ribs?

00:48:13

>> What?

00:48:13

>> What was the one where you said give me

00:48:15

some ribs?

00:48:16

>> Oh, that's I'm going to get you sucker.

00:48:18

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

00:48:19

>> Directed by Kenan Ivory Wes.

00:48:24

>> Okay,

00:48:24

>> that's right.

00:48:25

>> Okay, now here's a weird story about I'm

00:48:27

Gonna Get You Sucker. I hope I'm not

00:48:29

speaking out of tune. Most of that movie

00:48:31

is thought up by Eddie Murphy.

00:48:34

>> Like, really? Yeah. And from what I

00:48:37

hear, Eddie was going to do it and then

00:48:40

he decided not to do it. And Keenan's

00:48:42

like, "Hey." Picked it off his thing.

00:48:44

Hey, you thinking about doing this? I

00:48:45

mean, he still made it into Keenan's

00:48:48

version of it, but the initial thing was

00:48:50

Eddie Murphy. Yeah. He told me he told

00:48:52

me he came up with the fish in the in

00:48:55

the shoe and all that stuff. But uh

00:48:57

>> I I play the ribb man and I'm gonna get

00:49:01

you sucker.

00:49:02

>> And it was based on

00:49:04

>> ribs man.

00:49:04

>> Like some real [ __ ] like give me one

00:49:06

rib.

00:49:07

>> Yeah. It's hysterical.

00:49:09

>> It's like the Golden Globe goes to I'm

00:49:12

going to get you sucker.

00:49:15

>> Now Chris is one line. He comes in and

00:49:18

then you go give me a rib and you're you

00:49:20

don't have enough money. And then you go

00:49:21

how much for this? And then you pull out

00:49:22

a wad of hundreds at the end. It's one

00:49:26

for a scene to stand out.

00:49:28

>> How much for a soda?

00:49:29

>> Yeah.

00:49:31

>> [ __ ] the cup. Put it in my hand.

00:49:33

>> Yeah. See,

00:49:39

>> my daughters here like, "Huh?"

00:49:40

>> It's good when it works.

00:49:42

>> Your kids know any of your [ __ ] My kids

00:49:43

don't know anything?

00:49:44

>> Not really.

00:49:45

>> My kids don't know nothing I've done and

00:49:48

could care less.

00:49:50

>> Yeah. It's kind of

00:49:51

>> in a healthy way. In a healthy way.

00:49:53

>> Yeah. What about the one you just the

00:49:55

last one you just did?

00:49:56

>> I just directed uh Misty Green. It's

00:49:59

going to come out.

00:50:01

>> It's going to come out in November. It's

00:50:03

at 8:24. It's kind of a drama, honestly.

00:50:06

>> Okay.

00:50:06

>> It's uh it's about a woman whose sugar

00:50:09

daddy dies.

00:50:11

>> Mhm.

00:50:12

>> And she's got a a week to get her [ __ ]

00:50:15

together

00:50:16

>> or she might have to [ __ ] a guy in

00:50:17

Dubai.

00:50:20

>> A tale as old as

00:50:21

>> it's kind of like it's The feelood

00:50:24

picture

00:50:24

>> the feelgood story for Christmas

00:50:28

movie family is did it start out?

00:50:31

>> Yeah. So that's yeah that uh what am I

00:50:34

trying it's it's it's the best way to

00:50:36

describe it would be a female uncut

00:50:39

gems. Okay.

00:50:40

>> Okay.

00:50:41

>> So it stars a woman named uh Rosalyn

00:50:44

Elazar. She's on a show called Slow

00:50:46

Horses.

00:50:47

>> Oh love that show.

00:50:48

>> Anna Kendrick's her best friend. Uh

00:50:52

Daniel Kua

00:50:54

>> he's her brother. Adam Driver is in it.

00:50:57

>> Oh, you got it.

00:50:58

>> Uh and myself and a few other people.

00:51:00

Anthony Anderson Toeer. Toe for um Yeah.

00:51:05

So we got

00:51:06

>> Have you done I mean

00:51:07

>> it's uh Yeah, we got it A24. Nice little

00:51:11

art movie.

00:51:13

>> How do you directed it?

00:51:14

>> People like that like Adam Driver, you

00:51:16

know, they're sort of brilliant at their

00:51:18

craft. I mean, it's just very subtle. I

00:51:20

mean, it's it's kind of like

00:51:23

>> comedians. I mean, you you got to

00:51:24

rehearse and,

00:51:26

>> you know, figure out their moves and

00:51:28

stuff. I mean,

00:51:30

>> but he was great. He was like, you can't

00:51:32

when you get an actor that good, every

00:51:34

take you're like, whoa,

00:51:36

>> you know, it's probably like you think

00:51:38

they'll be difficult when they're not,

00:51:40

then it's easy because then you have a

00:51:42

back and forth. But some if they resist,

00:51:44

then it's a lot. I've been on movies

00:51:45

where people really resist and you go,

00:51:46

"Oh my god, this is just going to make

00:51:47

it so hard."

00:51:48

>> Yeah. Well, it was a it was a it was

00:51:50

prime. There's some comedy in it, but

00:51:52

it's definitely leans dramatic. So,

00:51:55

yeah, I got if it's funny, I got a ton

00:51:58

of notes, but if it's not, you know, I

00:52:01

I'm going to trust Adam Driver.

00:52:03

>> Yeah.

00:52:04

>> Yeah, I would trust Adam Driver.

00:52:05

>> It's like, you know,

00:52:06

>> and do a lot of the great actors you've

00:52:08

worked with sometimes like after a take

00:52:10

that you think's brilliant like really

00:52:12

was it good? Do you think it was good?

00:52:13

>> Yeah. Yeah. Seems like some of them

00:52:16

>> like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really? You

00:52:18

think so?

00:52:19

>> Wait, what movie was that one? Remember?

00:52:21

>> I did a movie called Bad Company.

00:52:23

>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was that

00:52:24

>> Hopkins?

00:52:25

>> Oh, really? Tony?

00:52:27

>> Tony Hopkins?

00:52:28

>> I did a movie with Tony.

00:52:29

>> Which one did you do?

00:52:30

>> Uh, Road to Wellville.

00:52:31

>> Hey, do you know what he would do? And I

00:52:33

don't know if he did this with you, but

00:52:35

he had a Polaroid uh shot of his his

00:52:37

character. His character had funny

00:52:38

teeth. It was all about the wellness

00:52:40

industry in 1890 or whatever. And you'd

00:52:43

be talking to And then they go speed

00:52:46

rolling. He would look at the picture,

00:52:48

crush it on his face, and then breathe

00:52:51

in like,

00:52:53

and then put it in his pocket, and then

00:52:55

he'd just be the character. Did you see

00:52:57

any of that?

00:53:02

>> I saw none of that.

00:53:05

I swear I didn't

00:53:06

>> I do I do remember like um older actors

00:53:10

>> Yeah.

00:53:11

>> they want to rehearse

00:53:13

>> and do not give them new pages on the

00:53:15

day. Yeah.

00:53:16

>> And I remember somebody I remember the

00:53:18

director giving him new pages and him

00:53:19

like, "Get the [ __ ] away from me."

00:53:21

>> Yeah.

00:53:22

>> Give me new [ __ ] pages.

00:53:24

>> Yeah.

00:53:26

>> Just for that today, you get four takes.

00:53:29

>> Yeah.

00:53:30

>> Did you ever work with someone who just

00:53:32

couldn't get their lines?

00:53:34

>> I mean, Bert Lancaster, I was in a movie

00:53:36

with him and Kirk Douglas, very sweet

00:53:38

guy. Would you be like, "Okay, I guess

00:53:40

we're going to rob the train." And then

00:53:41

everyone's just still and quiet line.

00:53:44

And then the woman, cuz we got to do it

00:53:46

today. Cuz we got to do it today.

00:53:50

Lying. And she would go on and on. Tracy

00:53:53

Morgan's like that.

00:53:57

>> Can't like literally like f one of the

00:53:59

funniest people. Oh yeah. Absolutely.

00:54:01

>> It's not that he can't do his he doesn't

00:54:03

know his lines. He can't do it the same

00:54:05

way twice.

00:54:06

>> Right.

00:54:07

>> It has to be different.

00:54:09

>> By the way, we a couple of back to

00:54:12

Michael Jackson. Yeah. just

00:54:14

>> all right

00:54:14

>> it's

00:54:14

>> like a crazy name drop fest so Matt

00:54:17

Eddie's house me there's a bunch of

00:54:20

people but I'll just say the name droppy

00:54:22

name so it's meant to hear it

00:54:24

>> Eddie Chappelle and Tracy a couple

00:54:28

people Raphael Sadik Simone uh lots of

00:54:32

cool people there and to watch the

00:54:35

Michael Jackson movie with Tracy Morgan

00:54:37

kind of narrating

00:54:40

>> Oh yeah

00:54:42

give me some pity loafers.

00:54:49

>> That sounds fun.

00:54:51

>> Who you think hit harder, Joe or Joe

00:54:54

Frasier?

00:54:59

>> That's great.

00:54:59

>> It's just like the whole movie wouldn't

00:55:01

stop.

00:55:03

>> That's mystery.

00:55:04

>> I got a name drop story about this kind

00:55:06

of stuff. Tom Hanks was telling me that

00:55:07

Clint Eastwood will sort of walk on the

00:55:10

scene and uh and he's just coming out

00:55:12

there and the cameras are rolling and

00:55:14

he's like, "Okay, what is it?" And the

00:55:15

script cyber just goes, "All right, so

00:55:18

let's get out of here." All right, let's

00:55:19

get out of here. So he likes to hear it

00:55:22

right before he says it

00:55:23

>> really.

00:55:24

>> And that's so kind of like Brando would,

00:55:26

you know, hide things in the ceiling and

00:55:27

stuff, you know. Anyway, inside

00:55:29

>> Brando have an earpiece.

00:55:31

>> Clint Eastwood is not Tracy Morgan.

00:55:35

It's not as dynamic as a centerpiece of

00:55:37

a story visually and orally. I agree.

00:55:42

>> All right. You got something else? One

00:55:43

little more for Chris Rock before we get

00:55:45

him out of here. What do you

00:55:46

>> Chris Rock? Uh

00:55:46

>> oh.

00:55:47

>> All right. Let's just your hot takes on

00:55:49

society. Okay. I have no takes.

00:55:52

>> Uh AI. Will it rule us? Will it take

00:55:54

over? Be a good thing or a bad thing?

00:55:55

You have five seconds.

00:55:56

>> Um

00:55:58

>> hey, I I personally know people that

00:56:00

have actually lost jobs to AI. Uh

00:56:03

they're in the tech sector. Uh so

00:56:07

hey man, I don't know for the arts, put

00:56:11

it this way. To me, AI, just in my

00:56:13

business, it's a drum machine. Okay?

00:56:18

It's basically a drum machine. You give

00:56:20

Dr. Dre a drum drum machine, it's

00:56:22

[ __ ] magic. You give me a drum

00:56:24

machine, it's a waste of time. So, I

00:56:28

don't think it'll make shitty writers

00:56:32

good

00:56:33

because the good writers will have it,

00:56:36

too.

00:56:37

>> You know what I mean?

00:56:38

>> So, so the distance is still going to be

00:56:40

the same.

00:56:41

>> Yeah.

00:56:42

>> Between the talent cuz the, you know,

00:56:44

everybody's going to have it, but it's

00:56:46

obviously a little scary. I've

00:56:47

definitely seen,

00:56:50

you know, there's definite parts of the

00:56:52

business that are going to be gone, you

00:56:54

know.

00:56:55

>> Yeah. Well, I was going to ask you about

00:56:56

LA, too, and the recession in the film

00:56:58

and TV business in Los Angeles.

00:57:01

>> I I did my movie. The whole movie we

00:57:03

shot in LA.

00:57:04

>> Good job.

00:57:06

>> Yeah.

00:57:08

>> Whole movie.

00:57:10

>> They did.

00:57:10

>> How much more expensive? I mean, that

00:57:12

was more expensive, right?

00:57:13

>> It probably was more expensive,

00:57:16

>> but you know, um

00:57:18

>> that's a good thing.

00:57:19

>> Not my money.

00:57:21

>> Yeah. I got actually some of it was but

00:57:24

I think I'm I think I'm getting it back.

00:57:28

>> Yeah.

00:57:29

>> When is this movie coming up? I put up

00:57:31

some dough.

00:57:32

>> Um this movie comes out in November.

00:57:35

>> Okay.

00:57:35

>> When the [ __ ] comes out.

00:57:38

>> I don't like the people that have AI and

00:57:40

they have Chad GBD and there's always

00:57:41

one guy going, "Hey, can you start World

00:57:44

War III?" It's like, why? let's not mess

00:57:45

with it because they if they've read

00:57:48

every book in the world you're like they

00:57:50

can probably start some [ __ ] So it

00:57:52

shouldn't be in everyone's hands on

00:57:54

their phone which I think it is now. Uh

00:57:57

I haven't done it yet.

00:57:57

>> We are living in the singularity. I mean

00:57:59

this is the printing press. This is

00:58:01

fire. This is the atom splitting.

00:58:03

>> Hey I'm I'm not even here really. No

00:58:07

>> we'd like to thank Chris's digital copy

00:58:09

for being here. And now on the count of

00:58:11

three the hologram will disappear.

00:58:14

Uh, I this is what I was just curious

00:58:15

about you hanging out like what do you

00:58:18

consume live streaming shows? Do you get

00:58:21

into shows with your girlfriend or

00:58:23

friends or what do you what do you

00:58:25

what's a day off for you to go to movie

00:58:27

theaters by yourself or what do you do?

00:58:28

>> I mean I I Hey, I love my Apple TV.

00:58:33

>> All right. So, you're watching

00:58:34

Neighbors.

00:58:35

>> When I travel, I I you know, just some

00:58:38

[ __ ] spoiled rich [ __ ] I have the

00:58:41

Apple TV hooked up in every hotel room

00:58:43

I'm in so I can watch my shows.

00:58:46

>> What are your shows? Slow Horses. Uh

00:58:50

uh I'm I'm waiting for I'm watching

00:58:53

Euphoria right now.

00:58:55

>> I'm watching Euphoria, too. Yeah.

00:58:57

>> Don't Don't spoil it. I haven't seen

00:58:59

last one, but

00:59:02

>> I'm only as far as everybody else.

00:59:05

I like that it's every Sunday. I like

00:59:07

that you can't jump ahead.

00:59:08

>> It's like I didn't see it this week.

00:59:09

What? She's a nun? No.

00:59:13

>> She has huge boobs again.

00:59:17

>> Has anyone watched The Pit?

00:59:21

>> HBO Max, but

00:59:23

>> I don't really see hospital shows, but

00:59:25

this one is kind of extra extra.

00:59:27

>> It's pretty special.

00:59:28

>> I I want The Pit, but it's just Brad Pit

00:59:30

telling girls they can't spend the

00:59:31

night.

00:59:37

I want to watch that show.

00:59:40

>> Whenever

00:59:41

Brad Pitt is on TV and my my wife's just

00:59:44

over there and I just go, I don't I

00:59:45

don't get it. I mean, really, there's

00:59:46

not much going on with him. I mean, is

00:59:48

that considered handsome? You know,

00:59:52

>> I don't see it.

00:59:52

>> I remember being at a party. You ever

00:59:54

been in a room with [ __ ] P?

00:59:57

>> So, you're in a you're at a party,

00:59:59

right?

01:00:00

>> And Obama,

01:00:01

>> you meet a you meet a woman. woman talks

01:00:03

to you like this, right?

01:00:06

>> When Brad Pitt walks in the room, every

01:00:09

woman takes a step and a half back from

01:00:13

whatever guy she's talking to.

01:00:17

Like every woman's like kind of aware

01:00:21

with like it's like when a pitbull gets

01:00:23

loose in a neighborhood. Like every

01:00:25

woman knows exactly where the [ __ ] pit

01:00:28

is in the room. And if I have a chance,

01:00:32

I'm not going to [ __ ] it up tonight over

01:00:36

Chris Rock.

01:00:39

>> They get a little bit

01:00:40

>> and then he gets a woman or he leaves

01:00:42

the party and then the girl starts

01:00:44

talking to you normal again. Hey. Oh

01:00:46

yeah.

01:00:47

>> Is this kind of

01:00:48

>> happened at least twice to me? Is this

01:00:50

also a tell when if Brad Pit comes in, a

01:00:52

woman might just kind of just do this?

01:00:54

>> I mean,

01:00:55

>> you know, just a subtle

01:00:56

>> just clean it up a little bit.

01:00:57

>> Just kind of clean it up a little bit.

01:00:59

>> Yeah.

01:00:59

>> You ever seen that?

01:01:00

>> I I've seen it. Yeah. There they kind of

01:01:02

let you know like, hey, if he even looks

01:01:05

this way.

01:01:06

>> Yeah.

01:01:08

>> I'm going to kick you down and fly the

01:01:09

stairs.

01:01:11

>> Immediately in a wood chipper.

01:01:13

>> I'm a huge FAN. I

01:01:14

>> HE'S A GREAT GUY. He's a great He's a a

01:01:16

great guy and a great actor. Chris, you

01:01:19

remember when uh

01:01:20

>> well, Marcy's here, but Marcy would

01:01:22

bring Carolyn Betetta around the office

01:01:24

at SNL and Carolyn Bet was so stunning

01:01:27

and we all kind of had a crush on her

01:01:28

and then we got the news she's dating

01:01:30

JFK Jr. We're all like, "Oh, that's her

01:01:33

type." Oh,

01:01:35

>> the kind of guy every person in the

01:01:38

world loves. I thought she'd be a little

01:01:39

more interesting.

01:01:44

>> Thought she'd like squirly broke

01:01:46

writers.

01:01:46

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I I remember. Yeah.

01:01:51

So,

01:01:51

>> I went I went out with her roommate for

01:01:53

a minute. Yeah.

01:01:54

>> You what? You went out with her?

01:01:55

>> Oh, really?

01:01:56

>> What?

01:01:56

>> H

01:01:57

>> Yeah. Anyway,

01:01:58

>> plot thickening.

01:01:59

>> Plot thickening. That's as far as it

01:02:02

got. Yeah. It was

01:02:03

>> I'm going to just try to mention a

01:02:05

celebrity and see if you've had a

01:02:06

>> I'm not that guy. I'm not.

01:02:08

>> No, you're It's just cuz you go.

01:02:09

>> It's not. But I don't do that in my act.

01:02:11

But should I

01:02:11

>> Well, people like you. I mean, and they

01:02:13

want to hang out with you. That's all.

01:02:14

>> I like you.

01:02:16

>> I mean,

01:02:18

We We get to We're hanging out with you

01:02:20

right now.

01:02:20

>> We're hanging out. This is um

01:02:22

>> This is fun.

01:02:23

>> This is the most fun you've had today,

01:02:24

right?

01:02:24

>> This is kind of the most fun I'm gonna

01:02:26

Well, maybe later, huh?

01:02:29

>> Uh

01:02:30

>> who's over there?

01:02:32

>> Yeah. All right. Well, Dan, any further

01:02:34

any last questions for our good friend?

01:02:37

>> Um just Okay. Give me just quick quick

01:02:39

>> What do you want? What do you want?

01:02:40

Anything?

01:02:40

>> Adam Sandler. What What is with that

01:02:42

guy? Oh, I call him Adam Sandler Claus

01:02:45

cuz uh

01:02:48

>> cuz the

01:02:48

>> I love that guy. That's my It's weird. I

01:02:51

realized Adam Sandler might be my oldest

01:02:53

friend. Like,

01:02:54

>> excuse me.

01:02:55

>> That's right. Cuz it was pre

01:02:57

>> Well, cuz we know

01:02:59

>> I knew him before I got on SNL. We were

01:03:02

doing

01:03:03

>> the last thing you did at the Kennedy

01:03:04

Center when they were vetting.

01:03:06

>> Oh, yeah. You knew him before?

01:03:07

>> Yeah. I knew I knew Adam like a year and

01:03:10

a half, two years in the standup. So

01:03:13

I've known Adam like 40 years or

01:03:15

something.

01:03:16

>> That part of the story that you told

01:03:17

about Adam was really touched me. It was

01:03:19

so sweet.

01:03:20

>> Well,

01:03:20

>> just at the club and then the

01:03:22

>> it's like okay I'll tell the story

01:03:24

again. So, at any comedy club, uh, you

01:03:27

start stacking chairs that first is the

01:03:31

privilege is to just be allowed in the

01:03:33

club

01:03:34

>> and then, okay, we're going to let you,

01:03:37

uh, clean off tables and then, okay,

01:03:40

we're going to give you late night spots

01:03:43

during the week

01:03:44

>> so you can go on at one o'clock in the

01:03:46

morning on a Wednesday, right? And then

01:03:50

you get week spot spots during the week.

01:03:52

And then the greatest thing you can do

01:03:55

after a couple of years of working is

01:03:57

they let you work the weekends,

01:03:59

>> right?

01:03:59

>> Mhm.

01:04:00

>> So, and that is like you're a top comic,

01:04:03

right?

01:04:03

>> Right.

01:04:04

>> And so I'm at the club

01:04:08

>> pre-SNL.

01:04:09

>> PreSNL.

01:04:10

>> Yeah.

01:04:11

>> I meet Eddie Murphy at the club.

01:04:12

>> Mhm.

01:04:13

>> I meet Eddie Murphy at the club one

01:04:16

night as I was stacking chairs. Okay. I

01:04:19

was stacking chairs. Eddie had watched

01:04:21

like four guys and he goes to this guy

01:04:24

Lucian Hold. Hey, you got any black

01:04:26

comics?

01:04:27

>> And Lucian Hold's like, "We got one

01:04:28

right here." The guy got the guy hadn't

01:04:31

spoke to me in six months.

01:04:34

>> Eddie has that effect.

01:04:36

>> And they're they put me on stage in

01:04:38

front of Eddie. Eddie laughs. Eddie

01:04:41

proceeds to tell me my whole life.

01:04:44

>> Oh wow.

01:04:45

>> So Eddie tells me, "You're going to be

01:04:46

in movies. You're going to do SNL.

01:04:48

You're going to do this. You're going to

01:04:49

like everything that's happened to me in

01:04:50

life. You're going to direct, you're

01:04:51

going to do this.

01:04:51

>> From seeing one set,

01:04:53

>> from seeing like eight minutes here and

01:04:55

there,

01:04:55

>> like literally

01:04:56

>> eight minutes literally predicts my

01:04:59

whole future.

01:05:00

>> Yeah.

01:05:01

>> Okay. You're going to get married.

01:05:02

You're going to get divorced. Like

01:05:03

everything.

01:05:06

>> Mary, divorce. Did he say you were going

01:05:08

to meet me?

01:05:09

>> Yeah. He said I was going to do this

01:05:10

podcast. Yeah.

01:05:11

>> The church lady.

01:05:13

>> So, and um you know, and this is like

01:05:15

the real Eddie Murphy. This is like This

01:05:17

is not Dr. Doolittle. This is like

01:05:19

>> This is Eddie.

01:05:20

>> This is red leather. Yeah. He probably

01:05:22

had on some green leather and it's like

01:05:25

like Elvis Eddie and he's got 20 guys

01:05:27

with him.

01:05:28

>> And he's like, "We're going to LA

01:05:29

tomorrow. You should come."

01:05:32

>> I go to LA with him.

01:05:33

>> Holy [ __ ]

01:05:34

>> And I end up in Beverly Hills Cop

01:05:36

>> 2.

01:05:37

>> That's right.

01:05:38

>> A movie

01:05:41

that I saw four times the day it came

01:05:45

out. I I saw Beverly Hills Cop one. Me

01:05:46

and Fred Barton, who's not alive

01:05:48

anymore, saw it four times. Anyway, so

01:05:51

I'm in LA doing that.

01:05:54

>> Mhm.

01:05:55

>> I come back cuz I have to come back. I

01:05:58

only, you know, I only made $600 doing

01:06:01

Beverly Hills Cop, right?

01:06:03

>> And who do I see? Who the [ __ ] this

01:06:07

white kid on stage on Saturday night?

01:06:11

>> Zabadoo.

01:06:12

>> What the [ __ ] is going on here?

01:06:14

>> Right. I It took me two, three years to

01:06:17

get on that Saturday night. So, he just

01:06:18

came out of the [ __ ] is this guy and

01:06:20

it's Sandler.

01:06:22

>> Yeah.

01:06:22

>> And like everything in my body said to

01:06:26

hate this guy

01:06:28

>> cuz not not only is he on Saturday night

01:06:31

and obviously didn't earn it. The

01:06:33

Lucian, they told me he's on the Cosby

01:06:35

Show. It's like, [ __ ] how come

01:06:37

I'm not on the Cosby Show?

01:06:39

>> I'm a black guy. Who is this white boy

01:06:41

on the [ __ ] Cosby show?

01:06:43

>> Excellent.

01:06:44

>> Going on a Saturday night and I watched

01:06:49

him

01:06:50

>> and I was so prepared to like like [ __ ]

01:06:53

this guy

01:06:54

>> and say and he did this joke about Wilt

01:06:59

Chamberlain scoring 100 points in a

01:07:02

game.

01:07:03

>> It was like the his impression of the

01:07:06

other players on the team. Hey Wil, I'm

01:07:08

open.

01:07:10

>> But he also had a line where they're in

01:07:12

a huddle. Wil's already scored 98. And

01:07:15

the coach says, "Okay, who's got Wilt?"

01:07:18

>> That was another one.

01:07:18

>> And they he had that other one about his

01:07:20

grandmother rubbing Bick's Bape rub on

01:07:23

his chest and he looks his grandmother

01:07:25

in the eyes and goes, "We're just

01:07:27

friends, right?"

01:07:29

>> So

01:07:32

>> I'm watching him do this and all the

01:07:35

hate just left my body.

01:07:36

>> Yeah. And I was like, "This guy's the

01:07:38

best. This guy's so [ __ ] funny. Oh my

01:07:41

god." And we just became friends that

01:07:43

night.

01:07:43

>> Yeah.

01:07:44

>> Wasn't there a moment where he was with

01:07:46

sort of a gang and then he saw you and

01:07:48

sort of said,

01:07:50

>> you know,

01:07:50

>> I don't know. I mean,

01:07:51

>> he invited you into this.

01:07:53

>> Well, he was with all those guys he

01:07:55

writes with now were there.

01:07:58

>> So like Jackuto and

01:08:01

all those guys, you know, they were he

01:08:04

was at he was going to NYU at the time.

01:08:07

Yeah,

01:08:07

>> he was going to NYU. We had such

01:08:10

insanely different backgrounds. Okay, so

01:08:13

he's he's literally going to NYU. I'm at

01:08:17

his dorm and all this [ __ ] I'm living

01:08:18

in bed sty. It is the height of the

01:08:20

crack epidemic. Okay,

01:08:24

>> not this hipster bedsty you hear about

01:08:26

now. Like

01:08:27

>> this is grandmother's blowing people

01:08:30

[ __ ] crackhead.

01:08:33

>> Right. So, the home values were

01:08:36

>> It was insane, dude.

01:08:38

>> It was a crack was an insane time cuz

01:08:41

crack and the VCR came out at the same

01:08:43

time.

01:08:45

>> So, guys would people would do it was

01:08:48

like the [ __ ] opium wars or some [ __ ]

01:08:51

and guys would show you tapes of

01:08:53

somebody's [ __ ] three guys. It

01:08:56

was crazy. Crack was insane. Anyway,

01:09:02

the good old days,

01:09:05

>> Vinn, I remember me and Sandler

01:09:07

auditioned for uh SNL on the same night.

01:09:11

>> I was doing a movie called Hanging Out

01:09:13

with the Homeboys.

01:09:15

Uh, and the director, we were in

01:09:17

rehearsals and I had the

01:09:20

the auditions were in Chicago and so I

01:09:25

needed a day off to go audition and the

01:09:28

director was like, "If you leave, you're

01:09:29

fired." I left. They fired me. Uh, and I

01:09:34

went to I went to audition for SNL. And

01:09:38

me and Sandler auditioned the night, the

01:09:40

same night. I did good.

01:09:42

>> I don't think it was great, but it was

01:09:44

good. Yeah.

01:09:45

>> And Sandler did good. And we both we

01:09:49

watch Dana Ghoul destroy.

01:09:52

>> Oh wow.

01:09:53

>> Oh yeah.

01:09:54

>> And Dana Ghoul did so well I left.

01:09:57

>> It's like why am I even here? This guy's

01:09:59

like the king of this [ __ ]

01:10:02

>> Yeah. Great stuff.

01:10:02

>> And him and me and Adam got the job.

01:10:06

>> Yeah. Yeah.

01:10:08

>> Me, Adam, and Farley.

01:10:11

>> Yeah. Farley auditioned because we

01:10:13

auditioned at the improv and he was

01:10:15

around the corner at Second City.

01:10:16

>> Second City. Yeah. Yeah.

01:10:17

>> Yeah. So, we all got

01:10:19

>> Could I ask you a question of something

01:10:21

that spoke for 30 years? You know this

01:10:23

thing, you and Farley,

01:10:25

>> right?

01:10:26

>> Um because I think I made a joke when

01:10:29

you guys the first day you were hired. I

01:10:31

think I was on Letterman and I did a

01:10:34

thing of, "Oh, we have some new guys."

01:10:36

And I was sort of kidding, but I said,

01:10:37

"You know who I am? You know, I'm the

01:10:39

freaking church lady." Now give me a cup

01:10:41

of coffee. I think I said that and then

01:10:44

you and Chris just called me the lady.

01:10:48

Period.

01:10:50

Every rehearsal. See you. Where's lady?

01:10:52

Saw you lady. Good job lady.

01:10:55

>> Yeah. Same thing with bar. It was only

01:10:57

lady. Only you two guys. Never stop. I

01:11:00

think we have I saw you. I

01:11:02

>> I didn't call you Dana until 2022.

01:11:08

>> Yeah. I remember that day. Hey, I I

01:11:09

teared up a little bit. I was like, I

01:11:12

have a name. I'm a person.

01:11:14

>> I have Yeah,

01:11:17

>> David,

01:11:17

>> I saw Chris on the back of some

01:11:20

comedy magazine. It was a picture of you

01:11:22

and Sandler in the corner and I was in

01:11:24

LA and I I didn't know either of you

01:11:28

guys. Then I met Sandler, but I was

01:11:30

doing the same thing in the valley here

01:11:34

um where Schneider and Drake Sailor and

01:11:37

a lot of comics were going on and Jud

01:11:38

and and I'd see Sandler and Covert and

01:11:42

you know, same situation where Sandler

01:11:44

was great and then we all kind of goofed

01:11:46

around and and then he goes out, you

01:11:48

know, and then he's doing out there you

01:11:50

and then we all wind up in the same

01:11:51

show. It's such a ridiculous miracle.

01:11:54

It's so funny how that happened.

01:11:55

>> Strange.

01:11:56

>> Yeah. ridiculous

01:11:59

>> just to make a living. I That's all I

01:12:01

thought about when I put down my waiter

01:12:03

apron. Could I this be my job?

01:12:07

>> Could my job be doing standup basically

01:12:09

that was it. You still that's the

01:12:11

touchstone

01:12:12

>> and then other things happened too. But

01:12:14

still that is the full circle.

01:12:16

>> You're still doing good Dana. You're

01:12:17

doing great. And uh let's thank the

01:12:19

audience for coming down

01:12:21

>> you guys. We appreciate it. And thank

01:12:24

you Chris Rock. Chris Rock. Everybody

01:12:27

>> see you guys.

01:12:27

>> Is that it?

01:12:28

>> Thank you.

01:12:32

>> Yeah.

01:12:34

>> I know. It's weird, isn't it?

01:12:41

>> Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast,

01:12:42

which you are, be sure to click follow

01:12:45

on your favorite podcast app. Give us a

01:12:47

review, fivestar rating, and maybe even

01:12:49

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01:12:52

a friend. If you're watching this

01:12:53

episode on YouTube, please subscribe.

01:12:55

We're on video now.

01:12:57

>> Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey,

01:12:59

an executive produced by Danny Carvey

01:13:01

and David Spade, Heather Santoro and

01:13:03

Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and

01:13:06

Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior

01:13:08

producer is Greg Holtzman and the show

01:13:10

is produced and edited by Phil Sweet

01:13:13

Tech. Booking by Cultivated

01:13:15

Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick

01:13:17

Fogerty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa

01:13:22

Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly,

01:13:26

Colin Gainner, Shan Cherry, Kurt

01:13:28

Kourtney, and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out

01:13:31

with us any questions to be asked and

01:13:33

answered on the show. You can email us

01:13:35

at fly onthewallsey.com.

01:13:38

That's audacy.com.

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Episode Highlights

Chris Rock's Exciting Return
Chris Rock brings fresh stories and laughter in a new version of his performance.
“We learned a lot. We went in some places that are very funny.”
@ 00m 25s
May 14, 2026
Michael Jackson Encounter
Chris shares a humorous story about his brief encounter with Michael Jackson.
“I brought him a plate of raw carrots and said, 'You know, you could do a little something.'”
@ 04m 04s
May 14, 2026
Tupac's Dislike
Chris Rock reveals his complicated history with Tupac Shakur.
“It was just I rubbed him wrong.”
@ 17m 24s
May 14, 2026
Meeting Icons
The speaker reflects on meeting various celebrities, including Kurt Cobain and MC Hammer.
“I've met them all.”
@ 19m 33s
May 14, 2026
The Pressure of Fame
The discussion touches on the pressures faced by celebrities like Tiger Woods and the importance of having the right support system.
“Sometimes if you're that famous, you got to have a Mario Joiner in there somewhere.”
@ 28m 17s
May 14, 2026
A Turning Point in Comedy
The speaker shares a pivotal moment when their brother encouraged them to pursue comedy more seriously, leading to significant improvement.
“You’re better than that guy. The [ __ ] out of here.”
@ 35m 29s
May 14, 2026
The Jedi Comedian
Chris Rock reflects on the organized and focused approach of comedian George Wallace.
“He was like a Jedi.”
@ 37m 33s
May 14, 2026
Bring the Pain's Impact
Chris discusses how his special 'Bring the Pain' changed his career trajectory.
“I lucked up in the sense that... I was one of the first cable stars.”
@ 39m 09s
May 14, 2026
Missed Opportunity with Madagascar
Chris Rock shares a humorous story about turning down a role in 'Madagascar'.
“I TURNED DOWN MADAGASCAR.”
@ 45m 03s
May 14, 2026
Chris Rock on AI
Chris Rock discusses the implications of AI in the arts, comparing it to a drum machine.
“AI, just in my business, it's a drum machine.”
@ 56m 13s
May 14, 2026
Eddie Murphy's Prophecy
Chris Rock recounts how Eddie Murphy predicted his future success in comedy and film.
“Eddie predicted my whole future.”
@ 01h 04m 44s
May 14, 2026
First Impressions of Sandler
Chris Rock reflects on his initial feelings of animosity towards Adam Sandler, which quickly changed.
“All the hate just left my body.”
@ 01h 07m 36s
May 14, 2026

Episode Quotes

Key Moments

Michael Jackson Story04:04
Scared of Suge19:16
Celebrity Encounters19:33
Great Standup36:52
Organized Comedian37:16
Growing as a Comic38:36
Cut from Movie40:48
Eddie Murphy Encounter1:04:12

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

Mike Tyson and the Met Gala

55:15

Mike Tyson and the Met Gala

RE-RELEASE - Chris Rock

December 12, 2025

45:03

RE-RELEASE - Chris Rock

RE-RELEASE - Tony Hawk

01:17:26

RE-RELEASE - Tony Hawk

RE-RELEASE - Robert Smigel

01:15:09

RE-RELEASE - Robert Smigel

Chris Rock | Full Episode | Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

October 07, 2022

52:42

Chris Rock | Full Episode | Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Remembering Chris Farley Pt. 2 | Full Episode | Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

December 14, 2022

02:23:05

Remembering Chris Farley Pt. 2 | Full Episode | Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

RE-RELEASE - John Mulaney

December 25, 2025

01:22:59

RE-RELEASE - John Mulaney

RE-RELEASE - Will Ferrell

October 22, 2025

01:48:43

RE-RELEASE - Will Ferrell

R Rated Jokes & The Shuffler Ghost

59:44

R Rated Jokes & The Shuffler Ghost

Jim Carrey Conspiracy + Lamar Odom’s Cocaine Summers & Amanda Seyfried’s Prosthetic WHAT?!

54:55

Jim Carrey Conspiracy + Lamar Odom’s Cocaine Summers & Amanda Seyfried’s Prosthetic WHAT?!

RE-RELEASE - Jay Mohr

01:00:32

RE-RELEASE - Jay Mohr

Jay Leno | Full Episode | Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

01:41:31

Jay Leno | Full Episode | Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade