00:00:00
Guys, we got an exciting one. This is not a repeat. This is a new version of Chris Rock
00:00:06
>> uh live at the Oreium Theater, which we >> live shot and had a blast. Always fun
00:00:12
with an audience, especially with Chris. >> Yes. And um we're out there in three
00:00:16
chairs. We had our cameras. Pretty big audience. I mean, the Netflix is a joke is like 18 million shows. But uh Chris
00:00:25
was great. We learned a lot. We went in some places that are very funny. I mean,
00:00:29
he just has a lot of stories that involve a lot of well-known people, you know, and there were some pretty
00:00:35
fascinating pulling some names out of them. And uh God, we went back to SNL again. We we always do that, but there's
00:00:42
always something. We went back to pre-SNL, >> how he met Sandler. Um >> old Eddie Murphy stuff. Uh where he met
00:00:52
Eddie, uh a lot of great stuff that I don't remember doing that in the first
00:00:55
time we talked. No, no, I learned a lot and uh he was great. We had a great time. Um we'll we're going to now tell,
00:01:03
you know, repeat some of the main jokes. So, you go ahead. Now, we're not. But I
00:01:08
have to say, I did laugh a lot. He He didn't walk through it. He came in in a
00:01:14
good mood, excited. The crowd was into it. >> And it's one of those fun ones where you
00:01:18
just start laughing and >> we're just kind of all over the place cracking each other up. It's great great
00:01:24
time. No further ado, or what do you call it? No further ado. Is that the phrase?
00:01:28
>> Close enough. >> With no further ado. >> Without further ado,
00:01:31
>> the one and only Chris Rock. It's >> almost over. Almost over.
00:01:38
>> 20 minutes. >> You're over here. >> Oh, he gets suspicious. Mine's w.
00:01:48
>> Wow. Wow. >> People. >> Okay. Hello. Hi. There you go. >> Can you see?
00:01:57
>> Wow. >> Downtown. >> This is kind >> We are not doing standup. Just so you
00:02:04
know, >> just everyone pours out. No, we we decided where's the most dangerous
00:02:11
place we can do this and what's the farthest? And it took some took some work. What we
00:02:18
>> Ted Sando said 6:00 way downtown. I said, "Teddy, I am in, brother. I'm
00:02:25
>> So, Chris, thanks for thanks for here. I'm here cuz I want to be here.
00:02:31
>> This has nothing to do with my contractual obligations >> to Netflix and Ted Randos." Yes.
00:02:41
>> Yeah. Three different nothing to do with that. It's all >> nothing to do with my three special
00:02:46
deal. >> Yeah. >> And a pod. Well, we appreciate you coming. Chris is one of my good buddies.
00:02:54
>> Little background on him. We did the old SNL together. That's where I met him.
00:02:58
And uh >> Right. >> Such a Mhm. >> Uh legitimately one of my uh best buds
00:03:05
in the show biz world and um would do anything anything for this guy. So, I'm
00:03:09
really glad to see him in general. It's good to see him here. >> Uh Dana's fine, but uh
00:03:15
>> it's 91. >> 91. I know. I don't like to throw these out. >> 91 Michael Jackson was alive.
00:03:22
>> Y >> and you just got out of high and an outstanding citizen. >> Michael Jackson was killing,
00:03:30
>> right? 91 was a good >> I waited on Michael Jackson as a bus boy waiter in 1975
00:03:39
>> and I would bring him a plate of raw carrots and they were playing the Circle
00:03:42
Star Theater, the Jackson 5. And there he was. And he'd always >> a plate of raw carrots. raw carrots and
00:03:48
he would look in a mirror after >> [ __ ] rabbits. >> I don't know. Janet was jumping up and
00:03:54
down on the bed. She's like 8 years old. I go, "Please don't do that."
00:03:57
>> Oh, they were that small. Wow. >> Yeah. Yeah. He's probably 14 or 15.
00:04:01
>> Wow. >> Yeah. >> And he was looking in the mirror and I brought him the carrots and I got kind
00:04:04
of familiar and I said, "You know, you could do a little something." And I just
00:04:08
dropped it, you know. >> I felt terrible. That was pretty good. Long way to go.
00:04:13
>> Joe, Chris Rock is our guest. >> Yes. Um, >> oh, I don't know if we're going to keep
00:04:19
getting applause off that. We're going to keep trying. Joe Jackson ordered three eggs and a belt. Anyway, I saw the
00:04:26
movie. No, wait. I'll tell you Michael Jackson story, Chris. >> So, 91 when you came in. What was your
00:04:34
first impression of >> Sorry, I didn't know. Were you starting? >> I did.
00:04:39
>> The monitors have a lot of reverb. >> I feel like it's really kicking back.
00:04:42
Uh, if they The mics are a little hot. Is that fountain? or I don't know. I can't really understand what you're
00:04:47
saying. So, that's not a good thing, I guess. >> No, it is a Rock, you know about this.
00:04:54
Are we getting a lot of kickback on these monitors or something? >> If you were a sound engineer,
00:04:57
>> it feels echoey. >> Uh, >> did you guys did you guys do a sound
00:05:03
check? >> Wouldn't that be great? >> That's what That's what I do normally.
00:05:10
>> No. >> Wouldn't that be professional? I' got the sound check. I'm just
00:05:15
didn't have time. >> No, it's wonderful. >> I left my house at noon.
00:05:22
>> I was planning on getting there for a sound check. >> Oh, someone's screaming already.
00:05:27
>> We've just added a second show. That's unbelievable. You guys >> I was going to tell you a story that is
00:05:34
so uninteresting, but I'm going to tell it. >> Uh I did This is my only brief Michael
00:05:40
Jackson uh >> Oh, okay. >> sex story. No, this is just my brief interactions. I was out in town. I had a
00:05:48
joke about Michael Jax when I first moved out here. Just throwaway joke. And then the director of his videos uh was
00:05:57
uh was doing his latest one, Liberian Girl, which wasn't a super banger, but
00:06:02
it was on >> the director of Three Amigos. >> No, God, I can't remember his name.
00:06:07
>> Filmopiles. >> He did a lot of commercials and stuff. Anyway, >> uh Jim Yuk maybe. Um anyway, so he says,
00:06:13
"Hey, I'm doing this video and we're just having all cameos, >> but it was like Dan Akro. It was like
00:06:18
big stars and he goes, "Do you want to be in it? You just we're just talking
00:06:21
and doing stuff. You could just say your joke." So I said some stupid joke about
00:06:24
it, but I was so excited to be in it. And then I wasn't in the video. >> And then I saw the director maybe three
00:06:32
years ago and I said, "Hey," he goes, "Do you remember me? I was the director
00:06:34
of that video you did." And I go, "Oh yeah, I wasn't in it." And he goes, "Oh,
00:06:38
that's right." He goes, "You know what? Funny story. I didn't want to hear He
00:06:41
goes, "I Michael would never talk to me about editing, but I showed him a cut
00:06:46
and he called me in the middle of the night and said, "Hey, who's David
00:06:49
Spade?" And he goes, "Oh, he's a comedian." And he just had a joke about
00:06:53
you. So he put it in there and he goes, "Take him out." And that and he goes,
00:06:57
"That was the only note for the whole video. Take me out." I was like, "Wow."
00:07:02
>> And he goes, "Anyway, good seeing you." And I'm like, "Well, now
00:07:06
that's what I got to live with about Michael Jackson." So anyway, we got time
00:07:10
for one more. >> My Michael Jackson story. >> Oh, you got a Michael Jackson story.
00:07:14
This one will be way better. >> Chris, we got cut out. Chris, you're up.
00:07:17
>> My Michael Jackson story. It's a weird Okay, I got two. >> Okay. No, no. The first time I hosted
00:07:25
the Oscars, there was like a a crew guy, a guy in the crew, like a a gaffer or something.
00:07:33
>> And I guess he used to work at Michael's house or whatever, cuz Michael always
00:07:36
did all sorts of stuff. And the guy literally gave me his phone. Somebody wants to talk to you.
00:07:42
>> Oh wow. >> And he gives me the phone saying, "Hey, Chris, it's Michael.
00:07:47
>> Break a leg." Okay. And that was it. >> That's better than mine already. Yeah.
00:07:53
That's [ __ ] cool, though. Man, of words, but to the point. When was that? How How long ago?
00:07:59
>> It was my It was the first time I hosted. So, yeah. Yeah. He because I remember when he passed away was in the
00:08:05
Woodman's chocolate wasted scene at in grown-ups >> when we yeah we were in we were in uh in
00:08:11
uh yeah >> yeah on the picnic tables we went to lunch >> and someone said it I don't think we had
00:08:16
Instagram or anything but someone it's the rumor went around where I was like
00:08:18
oh my god he just passed away >> and I remember Mama Rosone >> your mother-in-law in the movie
00:08:25
>> yes >> was very sad it was hitting her very hard and I told her it wasn't for sure
00:08:29
that it was just a rumor cuz I she had to have a softer After landing, she was totally already started crying.
00:08:35
>> She was really bad. She Yeah, but that was uh Oh, that was in grown-ups
00:08:39
applause. >> Thank you. >> 181 million domestic. >> 3,000 million.
00:08:47
You guys all got a car from Adam? I understand. Did you get a car? >> I I I prefer money, but uh Yeah.
00:08:56
>> But we did get a car. It was great. >> You got a car? Great. We got
00:08:59
>> What kind of car? Everyone loves hear stories about rich people getting
00:09:04
richer. >> You star in the movie. You're globally famous and you get a car.
00:09:10
>> Yes. >> Nice. >> Everyone's like, "Oh, good for them."
00:09:15
>> Yeah, definitely. Right. In the homeless capital of the world. >> Don't believe me? Walk outside. Anyway,
00:09:23
um >> we're literally inside. India is outside. We stumbled into India. Uh, so I heard
00:09:33
the other night you guys all went to the comedy store. I missed out. It sounds like fun. So you rolled with a pretty
00:09:38
fun crew. Um, the comedy store is always fun. Like comedy seller when you go in,
00:09:43
there's tons of comics, but because this is the festival, they're all kind of
00:09:47
smashed in and when they're lost or don't have a sense of direction, you can
00:09:51
always go to the comedy store. And so you went in. I heard it was you, Chappelle, Kanye, Louie. Did anybody go
00:09:58
on or you just go in there to go watch? >> Uh, >> wait. Kanye West and Louis CK.
00:10:03
>> Yes. The the canceled all stars >> because Dave >> Mount Rushmore of it fits somehow. How
00:10:12
do you fit into that group? I I don't understand that. >> Chris is the nice fit.
00:10:17
>> I, you know, I'm cool. I'm like Ludicrous. I'm cool with everybody.
00:10:22
>> Sure. So, you go in, do you watch or do you just Does anybody go on? Dave went
00:10:27
on uh Shane Gillis, too. Shane Gillis, >> another another home run hitter.
00:10:33
>> He's doing very well. >> He's doing all right. So, yeah, Dave
00:10:36
went on Shane. Uh Louie, then me, then Dave comes on and brings out Kanye. >> What What was his McDonald's bit?
00:10:51
people. I mean, Kanye's like uh I I remember when people would do Letterman and he was just so famous. It was
00:10:59
somebody said it was like sitting next to a $5 bill, you know? >> Yeah. >> And Kanye, you don't like you're like,
00:11:05
is that a wax figure of Kanye? Like he's just that famous. >> Like, is that the real guy?
00:11:10
>> Yeah. Is that the real guy? Yeah. >> And what does he say up there?
00:11:13
>> He's not saying much. >> Yeah. >> He gets away with low effort
00:11:19
>> right now. He's not saying much, >> but he's a he's a fire brand
00:11:23
>> talking about his love of Seinfeld. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It's funny. One of us was at the
00:11:33
chateau, >> Chris. I was at the chateau and about two months ago and then a girl walked by
00:11:38
and I go, "Who?" I said, "Some lady just walked by in a full yoga or ballerina
00:11:44
outfit." >> And then I go, "I wonder if there's something going on here." And then I saw
00:11:48
Kanye and I go, "Oh, that's his wife, right?" Yeah. Yeah. >> And it kind of made sense like this is
00:11:55
she dresses in a unique like she's always going to the Met or something. >> Yeah. But it's weird if you talk to her,
00:12:02
she's so smart. >> It's like talking to Diane Sawyer. >> Really?
00:12:07
>> With huge tits. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Let's all think visualize that for
00:12:15
a second. like like she's like, >> "Yeah, I got it." >> Good.
00:12:21
>> Beautiful. >> I kind of when you meet him, I met him at SNL on the 40th and him and Kim came
00:12:25
around and they both had deep blue eyes and I just thought, "Shit, I guess they
00:12:29
have blue eyes." I didn't think they had contacts. It was really weird.
00:12:33
>> Yeah, that was just a blue-eyed night, you know. >> Yeah. Remember when Do you remember when
00:12:37
I'm doing Chris Farley? You remember when he was going to attack me and Mike?
00:12:41
We were doing Wayne's World. We had Kanye. He they had people holding him back like he was gonna attack us.
00:12:46
>> I remember that. >> Was it a joke or was it >> It was only 10 years ago.
00:12:50
>> Was he mad? >> No, he was fake mad. He was great in the sketch. It was like
00:12:54
>> Oh, did he host? >> No, no, it was the 40th at the end of the anniversary. Sorry.
00:12:59
>> I didn't make the 50th. The plane plane was late. So >> Oh, are you going to go to the 60th?
00:13:09
>> Lauren will be 112. It's that thing of like uh you know Lauren always said don't stop. He always
00:13:17
said that to me. You never stop. And he said Sydney Pouier told that to him >> and then he stopped.
00:13:26
>> Did Sydney Poier stop? >> I got nothing. >> This is podcasting paid.
00:13:32
>> I did a song with Kanye. I did. Anyway. Anyway. >> Well, what do you mean you did?
00:13:36
>> Let's hear a couple bars. >> No, no, no. I just I'm on one of those
00:13:40
albums. one or two of them. >> Do you talk or do you say did you rap? >> I just talked. I just talked in this
00:13:46
song called Blame Game and um >> yeah, >> a song called Blame Game. Uh he coached
00:13:55
me two 4hour sessions in the studio that he cut down to about three minutes or two minutes
00:14:05
>> and yeah, he's kind of a genius. So, you know, whatever I did that. Is it hard to
00:14:11
stay focused talking to him or is he he's probably interesting guy, right? >> Oh, no. He's very interesting guy.
00:14:16
>> No, he did he did something that was brilliant. I don't know if he was the
00:14:19
first one, but he'd have people sampling beats and rhythms and stuff and he would
00:14:23
just walk around, listen, do it, change that, do that, get this, go with that, you know. So, he's got an ear,
00:14:29
>> knows what he's doing. Yeah. >> Yeah. Let's talk for just a quick second about
00:14:35
upgrading your energy game because caffeine doesn't have to be boring. >> No.
00:14:41
>> Five hour energy shots are changing things up with >> tasty caffeine in 17 bold flavors.
00:14:47
>> The one I keep coming back to is the birthday cake flavor. It literally
00:14:51
tastes like I'd say a vanilla cake. Buttery confetti style notes. celebration in a bottle and somehow you
00:15:03
get all that flavor with zero sugar, no cake, no guilt. >> So it's So it's all cake, no guilt.
00:15:14
>> On top of that, >> but you're not eating a real cake. >> You're not eating a real cake. It tastes
00:15:19
like cake. On top of that, you're getting as much caffeine as a 12 ounce premium cup of coffee without the sugar
00:15:26
crash. And since it's just a 2 o shot, it's easy to take with you wherever the
00:15:32
day goes. It's a big flavor packed into a tiny bottle, David. And it actually
00:15:35
makes your energy boost something to look forward to. Fuel your day with tasty caffeine. Available in stores and
00:15:42
online at 5ourgy.com or Amazon. Yep. Give your caffeine a flavor upgrade with 5Hour Energy Shots.
00:15:49
Get yours in store and online at www.fourenergy.com five hour energy.com or Amazon today.
00:15:56
>> When you talk about you did top five the movie, are your top five rappers the
00:16:01
same top five as they were when you filmed? >> My top five rappers, it probably changed
00:16:05
since top five the movie. I don't know. Uh I would put Kanye number one. Uh I
00:16:11
would I don't know. Kanye, I'm really I'm really loving Kendrick. Uh I
00:16:19
the the mo Kanye Kendrick I mean God top five. >> Mhm. >> Uh Tupac didn't like me.
00:16:30
>> One hour. >> Uh >> wait a minute. That's a chapter. Tupac
00:16:35
didn't like me. >> Tupac did not like me. >> I didn't hear that. That's
00:16:39
>> see eye to eye on everything. Uh Snoop. >> Snoop. very very underrated but he's could get
00:16:48
everybody up. >> JCole, >> he's the most popular man in America.
00:16:52
>> Okay. >> And then >> does Eminem get any sugar? >> Then Jay-Z,
00:16:58
>> then Eminem. >> Then >> interesting. Just on the >> ice cubed then Eminem.
00:17:04
>> I like Eminem. Eminem's fine. >> Yeah. >> Eminem's to be listened to. You know
00:17:08
what I mean? Eminem is strictly for your car. He's not like What? What could you and Tupac not get
00:17:18
along about? That sounds so funny. >> It was weird. It was um >> cuz I had the same problem. It was just
00:17:24
>> I rubbed him wrong. >> I mean, a you know, it's always the same
00:17:28
[ __ ] [ __ ] the same girls, right? That's the first, right? >> Like two, it's always like ah I saw
00:17:35
whatever, right? >> He he always won that battle. But um no, I remember I um one year at the MTV
00:17:44
awards, I presented some award. >> Uh oh. >> And uh Suge Knight was in the audience
00:17:49
and I did like some joke about Suge or whatever the [ __ ] And then there was the afterparty at uh Bryant Park
00:17:57
>> and you know and I just had that special uh bring the pain and Kanye and
00:18:05
>> not Kanye and Tupac was like what's up with all that [ __ ] and black people
00:18:09
[ __ ] like like and he kind of >> he kind of stepped to me but I didn't
00:18:16
Tupac was not that big. Everybody he he photographs big but he's not that big. I
00:18:22
was like, you know, I was pretty skinn I'm still pretty skinny. So, a skinny
00:18:26
guy can't wait to fight a skinny guy. You know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> You're like, really?
00:18:33
Uh, but not nothing happened. Nothing happened, but we definitely had a little like,
00:18:39
>> you know, >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> There was definitely some mean mugging
00:18:42
going on. And I remember that and I just remember that night everybody was scared
00:18:46
of Suge and like like Eric B. You remember Eric B and Rock Kim? >> And Eric,
00:18:55
>> it's like Eric B used to live in my neighborhood and he was such a big drug
00:18:59
dealer that he uh like before he had a record out, the guy had a Rolls-Royce on [ __ ]
00:19:07
on like Myrtle Avenue. Okay. Like that kind of drug dealer. >> That's good.
00:19:12
>> And he was like, "Why'd you talk about Suge?" I'm like, "If this guy is scared
00:19:16
of Suge, >> yeah, >> we're all in trouble." Like >> I think even white people knew to be
00:19:22
scared of sugar. >> Hammer was like, "Why' you do that?" >> Hammer.
00:19:27
>> Hammer. >> MC Hammer. >> MC Hammer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> MC Hammer.
00:19:31
>> I've seen I've met them all. >> Yeah. >> I'm like Black Gump, man. I've met them
00:19:35
all. >> I've been through every so many weird eras of show >> Eddie Murphy, Michael Jackson.
00:19:46
>> Did does anyone you >> Kurt Cobain? We didn't meet. >> We met Kurt.
00:19:51
>> Oh, you did meet Kurt. Oh, wow. >> You were there. We met Kurt. >> Yeah, I hosted the MTV Music Awards when
00:19:57
they were on. Oh, yeah. >> Where the guy threw the bass up and almost fell on his head.
00:20:00
>> Hey, man. I once went to a black church with Courtney Love. Okay. >> Now, black women get mad when they see
00:20:08
you with a white girl anytime. But when you walk into a black church with Courtney Love,
00:20:17
>> what were you thinking? >> Whose idea was it? >> They're like literally cursing like,
00:20:23
"WHAT THE WHAT THE GODDAMN [ __ ] IS GOING ON?" >> What the godamn [ __ ]
00:20:32
Ah, >> yeah. I remember Kurt and Courtney sitting on the on the ground by the page
00:20:38
desk in that hallway just between songs and just hanging out on the floor. Uh the I think they they were in music
00:20:46
twice >> and one time I definitely remember that I definitely seeing them in the
00:20:51
cafeteria and we had dinner after they rehearsed >> and just but you didn't know. I mean no
00:20:56
one knew it was big the second time they came on. They were a bigger deal. But it's definitely fun when you're back
00:21:01
there and you see all the hosts or music that you love and then they're just
00:21:05
stuck talking to you. >> Who's the host when you were there that kind of blew you away or nervous to meet
00:21:10
kind of >> um >> because it's weird in SNL you just you're in your office or something, the
00:21:15
host is in up front and then they'll say Charlton H would like to say hello.
00:21:20
You're like what? Yeah. >> You know, I mean, some of those nons don't know. They were all big stars.
00:21:27
Just some I remember being >> and the guy has always been great, but I couldn't believe how talented Tom Hanks
00:21:36
was. >> Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Absolutely. >> You know, you'd be at the the read
00:21:40
through and he could do like nine different voices and you know, and he was reading everything Cole and he was
00:21:47
just crushing everything. you like >> sometimes you realize this is why they're famous.
00:21:52
>> Yeah. >> Because you go some people would bring real star there's like a star power
00:21:57
about them like you go this person's a star and then there's some that sort of
00:22:00
flatline during the week and I go I don't get it. You even you can just see them read sketches and you go
00:22:06
>> they got nothing. I mean it's hard to do the show. >> It's hard to read. My favorite was
00:22:11
Steven Seagal. >> Uh >> oh yeah. Steven Seagal comes on. Okay. So there's there's this um
00:22:20
>> the legends of Steven Seagal was he was a a bodyguard for Mike Obitz or
00:22:24
something. >> Yeah. Agent Tai Chi. >> Tai Chi or whatever. >> Martial artist. Yeah.
00:22:30
>> Whatever. And >> so he's like this kind of move kind of like this be movie star. And
00:22:39
C C there >> C B was a little strong. Yeah. >> B plus. She's like, "Scott Bale's B and
00:22:48
he's under Scott." >> I personally really like Scott Bale. >> I like Scott. I like Scott. Anyway, and
00:22:56
I remember we're he's at the readthrough table and he's at the front.
00:23:03
>> Yeah. >> And it's time to read the first sketch and Steven Seagal picks up this thing
00:23:09
and starts to read. And you realize at that moment he's never auditioned for
00:23:14
anything in his life. Oh yeah. >> You realize at that moment there is a really a mafia
00:23:20
>> and they got him in. >> You literally shove this guy on a [ __ ] movie.
00:23:23
>> Yeah. Cole reading is hard to do anyway. >> It's hard anyway. But
00:23:27
>> and you're in front of all these people. And >> what was the one with Tommy Lee Jones on
00:23:30
the boat? >> Even Trump's like, "Pick it up." You know, >> pick it up. So it, you know, when we
00:23:38
were when he came on, uh Kevin and I did Hansen Fron at the read through. Thank you.
00:23:45
And we were making fun of Steven was just button. He's got the script. And we're doing stuff like Arnold could
00:23:51
definitely flick you with his little little finger and you would fly across the room and land in your own baby poop
00:23:58
avalanche. >> And he's just like this reading. Yes. Okay. Right. You know that kind of
00:24:02
stuff. So then we're rehearsing on 88h on Thursday just like here. Basically we
00:24:07
read the scene. He doesn't he's never said a word whether he liked or didn't
00:24:11
like the sketch. and he gets on the show and then we cut for a rehearsal. He walks off way off to the side and he's
00:24:17
just staring up the bleachers. I don't know what he's doing. I'll go over and
00:24:20
talk to him and say, "Stephen, are you okay?" And this is the quote exactly
00:24:24
like this, not looking at me. I just wish Arnold was here so I could kick his [ __ ] ass.
00:24:34
>> So for 72 hours, he was steamed about that sketch. And I did tell Arnold 6 months later in
00:24:43
Santa Monica in a restaurant with a foot long cigar with all the Austrian guys around him. I go, "Stephen Seagull says
00:24:48
he kick your ass, you know." And Arnold just leaned back and went, "Is that the
00:24:53
fact?" It's true. Absolutely true. Not a bit. Is that the fact? >> Any blue smoke greens, it's still girly
00:25:03
man. >> You better see if it's a golf story. >> No. You know who else? But I thought,
00:25:08
you know, else was I was a little star struck by was Michael Jordan. >> And Michael Jordan was the biggest host
00:25:14
of our time. >> Yeah, definitely. >> And he was still playing, right? Was he
00:25:19
still playing? >> It was before McDonald's with Michael. >> Oh, we did. We went down and went to
00:25:24
McDonald's underneath. >> We went to McDonald's with [ __ ] lifetime bucket list thing and I spaced
00:25:30
it. We went down and he goes, "Let's all go." Yeah. Like during rehearsal, let's
00:25:35
all run down. >> He was special. You and I used to go to McDonald's all the time. That's why
00:25:39
we're so malnutrition. I ate there so much. We never made that much money and
00:25:44
it was always like scraping. But u I did remember that we went there and there was that sketch in the 50s where Rob was
00:25:52
the announcer. Oh, they're really giving the referees the business. And we were
00:25:56
an all-white team. We didn't want Michael on our team. Remember that? And he and he's like at halftime going,
00:26:05
"Can someone pass me the ball?" >> Did you guys have any interaction with
00:26:10
Michael? Like personal >> I I don't remember. I mean I >> He was so intimidating because
00:26:17
>> he was a sweetheart. He was I was >> sweet, but it was just like he came up
00:26:20
to me and he goes, "Uh, do you golf?" And I go, "Well, a little bit. You know,
00:26:24
what do you shoot?" I go, "I'm terrible. I I don't know. I maybe a hundred or
00:26:29
something." And he just paused and he was very serious. He goes, "Um, well,
00:26:32
you're not very good, are you?" >> He said, "No, I'm not." Anyway, he was
00:26:40
he was The other one was Mel Gibson. When Mel Gibson in his handsome prime hosted, I'd never seen the staff, the
00:26:48
women on the staff get that crazy. Do you remember that? >> Well, I was not there for Mel Gibson,
00:26:53
>> and he is a hottie. >> I did a I did a >> You did Oh, you did Lethal Weapon Lethal
00:26:58
Weapon. >> I did uh Lethal Weapon 4. with uh >> with uh Mel Gibson before the you know
00:27:08
>> sugar tits >> just another guy that really loves Seinfeld right about now.
00:27:18
>> There's a theme there. >> I love this theme. >> Yeah, go Wikipedia. Ask
00:27:26
>> I just You got to be cancelled for me to be friends with you. Why do celebrities who drink not get a
00:27:33
driver >> or an Uber or or a Whimo? >> Why is Tiger Woods still >> see you later? I'm taking the
00:27:42
Oldsmobile. I mean, >> you know what? >> Take the keys away. >> I think too many I knew Tiger was in
00:27:48
trouble. >> He was uh that, you know, had the whole cheating and whatever and his wife beat
00:27:55
up the thing. Then he had a press conference with all his friends and he apologized. Now, right,
00:28:01
>> Tiger's black and Asian and he has a press conference with his friends and
00:28:05
none of them are black or Asian. >> Oh, what are they? >> I was like, okay,
00:28:13
>> sometimes if you're that famous, >> you got to have a Mario Joiner in there
00:28:17
somewhere. You got to >> somebody. >> No, but >> Steve Harvey, I don't know. Somebody
00:28:26
somebody come on. It's like not one. >> But if he's doing some things that he I
00:28:33
if he's that level of fame, I think he just doesn't want a witness. >> You know what I mean? You don't want
00:28:39
someone knowing what you're doing, hearing you talk on the phone, >> and just quietly taking in info.
00:28:45
>> Doesn't work cuz he has the money to hire a new driver twice a day.
00:28:51
>> Is that the fix? You drive in the morning, now you're out. >> Well, I guess you should have a
00:28:54
full-time driver. Yeah. I mean, yeah, you can't have a full >> And you're not paying them to drive.
00:28:59
You're paying them to shut the [ __ ] up. >> Exactly. >> Exactly.
00:29:06
>> Everybody could drive. >> I can't find anyone else. Shut the [ __ ]
00:29:11
up. >> But only the good ones can shut the [ __ ] up. >> Yeah. >> Right.
00:29:15
>> And if they're deaf and mute, it's better. >> How you doing, Mr. ROCK? OH, YOU GOT
00:29:20
THREE PROSTITUTES. I ain't seeing nothing. >> Yeah, >> I love fake driving. It's not
00:29:29
>> It's like 1941 steering. >> All right, Tiger. We're going to the
00:29:33
cause now. >> That's what you're paying for. >> Silence. >> That's
00:29:40
>> That was a good topic. >> That was a good topic. >> Where we at?
00:29:45
>> Hey, it's your podcast. >> You've been busy. I can't Why were you at the Met Gal? I was
00:29:52
looking for you. >> Um I don't know. I don't know. >> You didn't have anything stupid enough
00:29:56
to wear. >> I went last year. I didn't go to show. Who >> did you go best? Who wore it best?
00:30:00
>> I went last year. I didn't go to show. I've been a couple of times.
00:30:02
>> Do you wear something weird or just a tux? >> Um just a tux. Just a tux. I've been a
00:30:07
couple of times. I don't I still don't know what it's for. >> Is there anything after those stairs?
00:30:15
Because once they get to that, >> I would just go home. >> Yeah. This this it's nothing. Like I got
00:30:23
invited last year and the year before that I was like trying to save a relationship.
00:30:30
>> Oh. >> Oh, really interesting. >> Hey, maybe if I take her to the Met
00:30:35
Ball. Nope. >> Yeah. >> Maybe if maybe I'm going to take you around more famous people. That's the
00:30:43
tough one. >> Yeah. Yeah. What goes on? I mean, we've we only see the red carpet, right? And
00:30:48
then what goes on after that? >> You eat shrimp. >> You eat shrimp. You can't eat shrimp.
00:30:55
>> A lot of rich people. Lot of rich techy >> white people. >> They like, "Oo, this is Bob uh Zaminga
00:31:05
and his family owns the button." >> They invented the button. This is like all the buttons on the
00:31:15
world. >> You ever heard about buttons? >> Own all the buttons on earth.
00:31:19
>> Yeah. >> If you're nice to him, he'll let you on his boat.
00:31:23
>> Yeah. >> You got to have a This is >> He gets a piece of >> Kelly Blue BL and her family owns green.
00:31:33
>> Just green. >> Yeah. Jeff Basos has a 500 bill what a million dollar boat. It's like a
00:31:42
thousand foot long. It's got a sail. It's got another boat behind it. He's
00:31:45
selling it because, quote, "It draws too much attention." >> God bless.
00:31:52
>> Maybe it's the five. I do like his wife though. >> Lauren Sanchez. You got to root for
00:31:56
that. >> I've known Lauren a little while. Yeah. Lauren. >> Have you been on that one?
00:32:01
>> I have not been on that boat. >> Have you been on George Lucas's?
00:32:07
>> Have you been on Geffin's boat? >> I've been on some boats.
00:32:11
I like >> I I have a problem with a boat invitation. Yes. >> You'd rather float than sink.
00:32:18
>> Hey, I I tell some jokes and I you know >> get on boats >> and I get on boats.
00:32:23
>> You get on boats. What? You don't have to say the name of the owner, but what's
00:32:26
the best boat you've been on that you weren't? Holy [ __ ] >> I I >> They're all nice, right?
00:32:30
>> They're all They're all nice. >> Your own. >> And it's, you know, to be black and to
00:32:35
get on a boat leisurely is a >> is a Okay. >> It's a great thing. It's like
00:32:44
>> Okay. >> It's like, "Oo, I'm up top." >> You know, Chris, I don't know if you're
00:32:50
working on your standup, but you've got you got at least four bangers in here
00:32:54
that you can expect and this is being recorded. >> But that is a great line.
00:32:58
>> I'm like, "Woo!" >> You go to Met Gallas, you go to the
00:33:01
Oscars, you go on boats. Well, you're living my I just know my kids are grown.
00:33:05
I go out. >> Yeah. I know you from out the house. you would get a tuna sandwich and you're
00:33:11
just in a sketch and now good lord >> look at us. >> All right. I found it kind of
00:33:17
interesting that you did SNL and then you did in Living Color and then you were sort of I think you did a movie or
00:33:22
something. You're just sort of in it like this and then you did bring the pain and I remember watching it and went
00:33:28
oh something just happened like something new happened with that special because I think you said you weren't
00:33:34
serious. At least that's the quote I mean you weren't serious. I left SNL.
00:33:40
>> I went to Living Color. >> Um, >> I was in Living Color. Was it their last
00:33:47
season or close to >> It was their last season. Of course, soon as I get there, the Waynees quit.
00:33:53
>> Cuz that's they were a big part of that. >> That's just the luck of me. You know
00:33:57
what I mean? Like >> the Waynees quit the show. They are the show. >> Yeah.
00:34:02
>> Well, you had Jim Carrey, right? you got Jim Carrey, you got >> that's that's me.
00:34:08
>> Uh so I get there cuz I I I felt I don't know. I just felt a cultural shift.
00:34:14
>> But uh then that show gets cancelled and so I got no job. >> I got no job. Uh no TV job. You know
00:34:24
that that good TV money. What happened was I bought a house in Brooklyn and uh I bought a carriage house that I would
00:34:33
that I would later lose a divorce. But anyway, uh I bought a carriage house. >> Sorry. Everyone loses a carriage house
00:34:41
in a divorce at some point. >> I don't know. I just had a big ass mortgage and I had to do more shows.
00:34:49
>> Okay. >> And when I did more shows, I got [ __ ] better. And at some point my brother,
00:34:56
I'm not gonna say the comedian because that would be disrespectful, but me and
00:34:59
my brother went to see a comedian at Radio City, >> right? >> And like like normal people, like we got
00:35:06
we made some calls and we got some tickets >> and I'm a comedian, right? And I like I can
00:35:16
count on one hand the amount of times I've sat in an audience for a comedy show. Right.
00:35:19
>> Right. >> And I left the show. show. I thought it was great. I thought the show was great and
00:35:24
the go the show was great, but my brother my brother Andre goes, "You're
00:35:29
better than that guy. The [ __ ] out of here." And it hadn't occurred to It's
00:35:35
like when the sometimes the the the kid that's getting bullied gets bigger than
00:35:39
the bully. >> Yeah. >> And doesn't realize it yet. >> Right. So, right around that time, it
00:35:46
took my brother telling me that I was better to actually snap me out of this. >> And this was kind of a national
00:35:54
headliner. This was >> And then like Yeah. And then, you know, it's like one of those Rocky montages
00:35:59
where I'm just knocking [ __ ] out. Like I'm just like I was just I had gotten a lot better just just from
00:36:06
trying to pay for this house. >> Yeah. >> I got really good. >> That's great.
00:36:11
>> So, get a big mortgage. Yeah, >> everyone's like a comedy club and you
00:36:17
know >> Yeah, but I I I was out of show, but I was I mean, put it this way, too. I had
00:36:21
given up. I'd been in a few movies. I'd been on Siren Live. I've been on Living
00:36:25
Color. I kind of thought I was done. >> As far as like being a famous person,
00:36:31
>> right? >> Right. >> So, my concern, not even a concern, I was like, "Okay, I love standup." And
00:36:39
all I wanted out of standup, and this is like this guy's a big star, but all I
00:36:44
wanted out of standup was to be George Wallace. >> Okay? >> Like George Wallace to me was like a
00:36:52
great standup. >> A great standup crushes every night. >> Never want to follow. would he would
00:36:58
come in to the club, you know, the only other black guy, by the way, and he had great suits on
00:37:05
>> and he had a [ __ ] Cadillac and he was opening for bands in Vegas and whatnot.
00:37:13
And he was the only he was the only guy I knew that was so organized. He had like a real schedule. like he didn't
00:37:20
work in the summer like like he would actually vacation and he had houses here and there and I was like man if I can
00:37:27
just be like George Wallace >> then then my dream that's that's what I
00:37:31
took it seriously he was but that guy was like a Jedi >> like he wasn't thinking about being on
00:37:37
TV or a sitcom or a movie just working comedian was like okay that's what I want to be I want to be a
00:37:46
focused great comedian that other comedian Ians respect soon as I walk in the walk in the room.
00:37:52
>> Well, that's what I wanted to ask you because you know Gaffigan, Jim Gaffigan,
00:37:56
Jerry Seinfeld, these are they get with the tape or they get with their notes. I
00:38:01
mean Jerry gets nervous if he needs that one hour a day with his notes. Were you
00:38:04
like that or was just the reps on stage or did you record it and listen because that's very painful to do for a
00:38:11
>> I would record it. I would listen the next day. >> Okay. I mean, also I was one of these,
00:38:16
you know, I'll I'll give this me and my my ex-wife go back and forth. She I I
00:38:21
you know, I was I was a Yes. I was I had been on Saturday Night Live. I've been
00:38:25
in New Jack City. I was, you know, a a mini millionaire at the time, but when I met her, I grew as a person,
00:38:36
>> you know what I mean? Because I'd never really had a relationship, a a grownup
00:38:40
relationship. Gotcha. So as I was growing up as a person, I was growing up as a comic,
00:38:48
>> you know. So I I just I just had IS wider way >> and the better I you know, and it
00:38:58
>> I I lucked up, you know what I mean? I I lucked up in the sense that >> you know, wow, [ __ ] I've been around a
00:39:05
long time. So, um, you know, I guess there's channeling, but I'm one of the first
00:39:11
cable stars, you know what I mean? Like, >> right, >> you know what I mean? Like, it was, it
00:39:15
was like, it when I broke it, it it was not >> from television at all. It wasn't from
00:39:21
normal TV at all. >> It was from cable TV. So, I was like this HBO thing. >> HBO was Bring the Pain. And it got a lot
00:39:29
of awards and recognition. Got awards. Critics loved it. And for some reason, you know how it's just a joke sticks in
00:39:36
your head. Something about peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. I don't know
00:39:40
why. I never forgot that. I don't know why. >> What is that joke? My We were so poor.
00:39:44
My My mother used to buy the peanut butter and the jelly same jar. That's like buying a a a shoe with a sock sold
00:39:54
inside. >> Call it a shock. >> Oh, a shock. Yeah. When did you do Ninja with Farley?
00:40:06
>> I did Beverly Hills Ninja with Chris Far. That was like me being >> Was that when you were
00:40:12
>> That was before Bring the Pain. >> That was That was after Living Color.
00:40:18
That was me broke as [ __ ] >> Just take Well, you take it for the money, right? You just go I'll just go
00:40:23
do a >> Yeah. I was like Well, I was like, "Oh, wait a minute. This guy I used to share
00:40:26
an office with gets $10 million a picture or so." >> It was like what the [ __ ] Yeah.
00:40:34
>> What the [ __ ] happened here? >> That was after Tommy Boy. >> Yeah, like Tommy Boy. But we did that.
00:40:41
>> Um, I had a lot of fun doing it. Here's the funny thing about that movie.
00:40:45
>> I was horrible in that movie. Well, initially, right? >> So, I was cut out of the whole movie.
00:40:52
>> Like, you were cut out of the Michael Jackson. >> Yeah. >> I'm cut out of the whole movie. Bring
00:41:00
the pain comes on HBO >> and suddenly they put me back in. >> They cut you back in. Wow.
00:41:07
>> Suddenly everything I did me at craft services eating a Snickers. >> It's in the credits.
00:41:15
>> It's in the movie. >> It's like everything's in the movie now.
00:41:19
>> Great. >> Brought in like three editors. Yes. Yes. Reaction on Chris. He's not IN THE
00:41:24
SCENE. I SAID >> YEAH. >> YEAH. That that was big. That was big. >> Yeah. That That was a a seismic.
00:41:30
>> Now, what was your next move after you got big from Bring the Pain? I mean,
00:41:33
what was your next? >> Um, it's weird. I did another special. I did. I mean, I did Here's the weird
00:41:39
thing. I'm just like, I'm getting I can I'm hanging with Madonna and uh
00:41:47
So, I'm with Madonna, right? And >> yeah, >> whatever. And you're hanging with her.
00:41:54
>> I'm hanging. >> Okay. And uh she pulls out, she's getting
00:41:59
ready to do a special in Cuba. I'm really I'm literally right next to her.
00:42:06
She calls her manager or somebody and she cancels the special in Cuba. Really la last moment thing, right?
00:42:16
So, I know how much money she's getting and I offer I call up Chris Albre at HBO go
00:42:28
I'll do I'll do a special right now but I got to get the same money >> and
00:42:36
>> and I GOT IT. >> [ __ ] >> WOW. SO, >> so whatever it was, you could imagine.
00:42:45
But before that, I probably got 20 grand for Bring the Pain. Like, no comedian made any money
00:42:52
to do it. >> They're like, "Take Madonna's money. Give me that money."
00:42:56
>> Yeah. >> But you did you shoot it in Cuba? >> We No, no, no. We shot We shot Bigger
00:43:00
and Blacker at the Apollo. >> Okay, that's right. >> And uh >> Yeah.
00:43:05
>> So, I did that. So, those two specials are like kind of like a year apart or
00:43:09
year and a half apart, >> right? >> But, um, >> but you were ready or you didn't know?
00:43:13
>> I wasn't really ready, but I knew I got it together. >> And I mean, I, you know, it's that time
00:43:20
in your life where >> this, you know, there's a time in your life when you're just a vessel
00:43:26
>> and the shit's coming through you like that, you know? >> So, I was at that vessel point.
00:43:32
>> Go Chris. And uh >> go Chris goes coming through me. >> And uh that I mean
00:43:39
>> most people think bigger and black is better. Bring the paper. That's like
00:43:43
when when they were albums or DVDs, Bigger and Black are always sold more. >> Oh, really?
00:43:48
>> Yeah. It's it's the bigger special. >> Um >> Well, it's good they're even close. I
00:43:52
mean, usually a lot of people have one killer and then the rest, you know, because right now people do a lot of
00:43:57
specials in a row and some get watered down. So then I started doing movies and >> you know Mel Gibson called
00:44:06
>> hello >> Melly Mel. >> He was nice. It was it's crazy when you
00:44:14
see what happens to people. >> And when when did >> he was the nicest guy
00:44:20
>> to everybody. >> Even the Jews. >> He was just nice. >> Yeah.
00:44:27
>> Yeah. I never in one thing. >> Um >> I think I mean I just I think he's
00:44:34
brilliant. I mean you never seen Apocalypto apocalyptto was one of the best movies ever made.
00:44:40
>> Yeah. It's unbelievable. I mean and as an actor so >> second chances
00:44:47
>> you know. No I got Hey >> David I gave him a second chance. >> Hey
00:44:52
hey if they want to do another lethal weapon I'll take that check. >> Yeah. What's your biggest mailbox check?
00:44:59
>> Madagascar. >> Mad Oh, yeah. >> Oh, it is >> that I TURNED DOWN MADAGASCAR.
00:45:06
>> WHOA. >> WELL, I WAS I don't know. I >> What the hell was going on with you?
00:45:10
>> I had I had a bad day. >> You couldn't think of a Are you allergic
00:45:13
to money? >> Kind of. >> Hes No, they wanted me to do a South African accent and I was like really
00:45:21
working on it. I think Sasha [ __ ] did it. Ah, >> but now did you do the first movie? It's
00:45:27
not that because I did Secret Life of Pets. The first movie there was >> Thank you.
00:45:33
>> Hold your applause. And then the first movie you didn't get much from
00:45:35
Madagascar. >> No, no, no, no. DreamWorks was a new company. >> Okay.
00:45:40
>> So, this is the same, you know, I've been lucky a few times. So, you get if
00:45:45
you get someplace early, they they overpay. And >> you know, DreamWorks pays better than
00:45:50
some of the other >> DreamWorks. Hey man, for the Shrek guys. >> Yeah,
00:45:55
>> it's like you know those guys >> Yeah. >> they made so much money none of them
00:46:00
ever worked again. >> They all went like 20 years without working. They made so much money
00:46:05
>> and now they have two more they just did. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So it's like Yeah.
00:46:09
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Shrek. >> I love Eddie. This is how crazy Eddie could be. Eddie
00:46:15
has the studio in his house, like the recording studio in his house. So all he has to do is go downstairs to do donkey
00:46:23
and >> to do donkey >> and >> all right you do Eddie and I'll do my
00:46:30
>> and he would he would make them wait for months at a time >> and at least twice they negotiated deals
00:46:38
with me to play donkey. >> Seriously. And then Eddie just went downstairs >> and I'm out of $30 million.
00:46:54
>> Just cuz Eddie went downstairs. >> The highs and the lows. >> He's 30.
00:46:59
>> I'm I'm on my way to the studio. YEAH, I'M DONKEY. OH, Eddie went downstairs.
00:47:05
[ __ ] >> [ __ ] [ __ ] >> GOD DAMN IT. EDDIE WENT DOWNSTAIRS. >> He's in his pajamas doing donkey right
00:47:16
now. >> He's sad. You've had a big life, Chris. >> It's getting bigger.
00:47:28
>> Good lord. Py tank. >> Tang. >> I think >> py tag. >> It's a title you can never forget of a
00:47:35
movie. Hey man, everybody thinks they're famous and you know you know there was a point I was so
00:47:46
famous I got a movie called Py Tank Man >> where no one where the lead character
00:47:51
doesn't speak English >> you got that pity on the run >> sate >> uh created by Louis CK
00:48:03
>> Louis CK was >> written by Louis CK and a a little bit myself. I got some jokes in there, but
00:48:09
uh yeah. >> What about I'm going to get you sucker? Where's the one where you said give me
00:48:12
some ribs? >> What? >> What was the one where you said give me some ribs?
00:48:16
>> Oh, that's I'm going to get you sucker. Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> Directed by Kenan Ivory Wes.
00:48:24
>> Okay, >> that's right. >> Okay, now here's a weird story about I'm
00:48:27
Gonna Get You Sucker. I hope I'm not speaking out of tune. Most of that movie
00:48:31
is thought up by Eddie Murphy. >> Like, really? Yeah. And from what I hear, Eddie was going to do it and then
00:48:40
he decided not to do it. And Keenan's like, "Hey." Picked it off his thing.
00:48:44
Hey, you thinking about doing this? I mean, he still made it into Keenan's version of it, but the initial thing was
00:48:50
Eddie Murphy. Yeah. He told me he told me he came up with the fish in the in the shoe and all that stuff. But uh
00:48:57
>> I I play the ribb man and I'm gonna get you sucker. >> And it was based on
00:49:04
>> ribs man. >> Like some real [ __ ] like give me one rib. >> Yeah. It's hysterical.
00:49:09
>> It's like the Golden Globe goes to I'm going to get you sucker.
00:49:15
>> Now Chris is one line. He comes in and then you go give me a rib and you're you
00:49:20
don't have enough money. And then you go how much for this? And then you pull out
00:49:22
a wad of hundreds at the end. It's one for a scene to stand out. >> How much for a soda?
00:49:29
>> Yeah. >> [ __ ] the cup. Put it in my hand. >> Yeah. See, >> my daughters here like, "Huh?"
00:49:40
>> It's good when it works. >> Your kids know any of your [ __ ] My kids
00:49:43
don't know anything? >> Not really. >> My kids don't know nothing I've done and
00:49:48
could care less. >> Yeah. It's kind of >> in a healthy way. In a healthy way.
00:49:53
>> Yeah. What about the one you just the last one you just did? >> I just directed uh Misty Green. It's
00:49:59
going to come out. >> It's going to come out in November. It's at 8:24. It's kind of a drama, honestly.
00:50:06
>> Okay. >> It's uh it's about a woman whose sugar daddy dies.
00:50:11
>> Mhm. >> And she's got a a week to get her [ __ ] together >> or she might have to [ __ ] a guy in
00:50:17
Dubai. >> A tale as old as >> it's kind of like it's The feelood
00:50:24
picture >> the feelgood story for Christmas movie family is did it start out?
00:50:31
>> Yeah. So that's yeah that uh what am I trying it's it's it's the best way to
00:50:36
describe it would be a female uncut gems. Okay. >> Okay. >> So it stars a woman named uh Rosalyn
00:50:44
Elazar. She's on a show called Slow Horses. >> Oh love that show. >> Anna Kendrick's her best friend. Uh
00:50:52
Daniel Kua >> he's her brother. Adam Driver is in it. >> Oh, you got it.
00:50:58
>> Uh and myself and a few other people. Anthony Anderson Toeer. Toe for um Yeah.
00:51:05
So we got >> Have you done I mean >> it's uh Yeah, we got it A24. Nice little
00:51:11
art movie. >> How do you directed it? >> People like that like Adam Driver, you
00:51:16
know, they're sort of brilliant at their craft. I mean, it's just very subtle. I
00:51:20
mean, it's it's kind of like >> comedians. I mean, you you got to rehearse and,
00:51:26
>> you know, figure out their moves and stuff. I mean, >> but he was great. He was like, you can't
00:51:32
when you get an actor that good, every take you're like, whoa, >> you know, it's probably like you think
00:51:38
they'll be difficult when they're not, then it's easy because then you have a
00:51:42
back and forth. But some if they resist, then it's a lot. I've been on movies
00:51:45
where people really resist and you go, "Oh my god, this is just going to make
00:51:47
it so hard." >> Yeah. Well, it was a it was a it was prime. There's some comedy in it, but
00:51:52
it's definitely leans dramatic. So, yeah, I got if it's funny, I got a ton
00:51:58
of notes, but if it's not, you know, I I'm going to trust Adam Driver. >> Yeah.
00:52:04
>> Yeah, I would trust Adam Driver. >> It's like, you know, >> and do a lot of the great actors you've
00:52:08
worked with sometimes like after a take that you think's brilliant like really
00:52:12
was it good? Do you think it was good? >> Yeah. Yeah. Seems like some of them
00:52:16
>> like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really? You think so? >> Wait, what movie was that one? Remember?
00:52:21
>> I did a movie called Bad Company. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was that
00:52:24
>> Hopkins? >> Oh, really? Tony? >> Tony Hopkins? >> I did a movie with Tony.
00:52:29
>> Which one did you do? >> Uh, Road to Wellville. >> Hey, do you know what he would do? And I
00:52:33
don't know if he did this with you, but he had a Polaroid uh shot of his his
00:52:37
character. His character had funny teeth. It was all about the wellness industry in 1890 or whatever. And you'd
00:52:43
be talking to And then they go speed rolling. He would look at the picture, crush it on his face, and then breathe
00:52:51
in like, and then put it in his pocket, and then he'd just be the character. Did you see
00:52:57
any of that? >> I saw none of that. I swear I didn't >> I do I do remember like um older actors
00:53:10
>> Yeah. >> they want to rehearse >> and do not give them new pages on the
00:53:15
day. Yeah. >> And I remember somebody I remember the director giving him new pages and him
00:53:19
like, "Get the [ __ ] away from me." >> Yeah. >> Give me new [ __ ] pages.
00:53:24
>> Yeah. >> Just for that today, you get four takes. >> Yeah. >> Did you ever work with someone who just
00:53:32
couldn't get their lines? >> I mean, Bert Lancaster, I was in a movie with him and Kirk Douglas, very sweet
00:53:38
guy. Would you be like, "Okay, I guess we're going to rob the train." And then
00:53:41
everyone's just still and quiet line. And then the woman, cuz we got to do it
00:53:46
today. Cuz we got to do it today. Lying. And she would go on and on. Tracy Morgan's like that.
00:53:57
>> Can't like literally like f one of the funniest people. Oh yeah. Absolutely.
00:54:01
>> It's not that he can't do his he doesn't know his lines. He can't do it the same
00:54:05
way twice. >> Right. >> It has to be different. >> By the way, we a couple of back to
00:54:12
Michael Jackson. Yeah. just >> all right >> it's >> like a crazy name drop fest so Matt
00:54:17
Eddie's house me there's a bunch of people but I'll just say the name droppy
00:54:22
name so it's meant to hear it >> Eddie Chappelle and Tracy a couple people Raphael Sadik Simone uh lots of
00:54:32
cool people there and to watch the Michael Jackson movie with Tracy Morgan kind of narrating
00:54:40
>> Oh yeah give me some pity loafers. >> That sounds fun. >> Who you think hit harder, Joe or Joe
00:54:54
Frasier? >> That's great. >> It's just like the whole movie wouldn't
00:55:01
stop. >> That's mystery. >> I got a name drop story about this kind
00:55:06
of stuff. Tom Hanks was telling me that Clint Eastwood will sort of walk on the scene and uh and he's just coming out
00:55:12
there and the cameras are rolling and he's like, "Okay, what is it?" And the
00:55:15
script cyber just goes, "All right, so let's get out of here." All right, let's
00:55:19
get out of here. So he likes to hear it right before he says it >> really.
00:55:24
>> And that's so kind of like Brando would, you know, hide things in the ceiling and
00:55:27
stuff, you know. Anyway, inside >> Brando have an earpiece. >> Clint Eastwood is not Tracy Morgan.
00:55:35
It's not as dynamic as a centerpiece of a story visually and orally. I agree.
00:55:42
>> All right. You got something else? One little more for Chris Rock before we get
00:55:45
him out of here. What do you >> Chris Rock? Uh >> oh. >> All right. Let's just your hot takes on
00:55:49
society. Okay. I have no takes. >> Uh AI. Will it rule us? Will it take over? Be a good thing or a bad thing?
00:55:55
You have five seconds. >> Um >> hey, I I personally know people that
00:56:00
have actually lost jobs to AI. Uh they're in the tech sector. Uh so hey man, I don't know for the arts, put
00:56:11
it this way. To me, AI, just in my business, it's a drum machine. Okay? It's basically a drum machine. You give
00:56:20
Dr. Dre a drum drum machine, it's [ __ ] magic. You give me a drum machine, it's a waste of time. So, I
00:56:28
don't think it'll make shitty writers good because the good writers will have it,
00:56:36
too. >> You know what I mean? >> So, so the distance is still going to be
00:56:40
the same. >> Yeah. >> Between the talent cuz the, you know, everybody's going to have it, but it's
00:56:46
obviously a little scary. I've definitely seen, you know, there's definite parts of the
00:56:52
business that are going to be gone, you know. >> Yeah. Well, I was going to ask you about
00:56:56
LA, too, and the recession in the film and TV business in Los Angeles. >> I I did my movie. The whole movie we
00:57:03
shot in LA. >> Good job. >> Yeah. >> Whole movie. >> They did.
00:57:10
>> How much more expensive? I mean, that was more expensive, right? >> It probably was more expensive,
00:57:16
>> but you know, um >> that's a good thing. >> Not my money.
00:57:21
>> Yeah. I got actually some of it was but I think I'm I think I'm getting it back.
00:57:28
>> Yeah. >> When is this movie coming up? I put up some dough. >> Um this movie comes out in November.
00:57:35
>> Okay. >> When the [ __ ] comes out. >> I don't like the people that have AI and
00:57:40
they have Chad GBD and there's always one guy going, "Hey, can you start World
00:57:44
War III?" It's like, why? let's not mess with it because they if they've read
00:57:48
every book in the world you're like they can probably start some [ __ ] So it
00:57:52
shouldn't be in everyone's hands on their phone which I think it is now. Uh
00:57:57
I haven't done it yet. >> We are living in the singularity. I mean this is the printing press. This is
00:58:01
fire. This is the atom splitting. >> Hey I'm I'm not even here really. No
00:58:07
>> we'd like to thank Chris's digital copy for being here. And now on the count of
00:58:11
three the hologram will disappear. Uh, I this is what I was just curious about you hanging out like what do you
00:58:18
consume live streaming shows? Do you get into shows with your girlfriend or friends or what do you what do you
00:58:25
what's a day off for you to go to movie theaters by yourself or what do you do?
00:58:28
>> I mean I I Hey, I love my Apple TV. >> All right. So, you're watching
00:58:34
Neighbors. >> When I travel, I I you know, just some [ __ ] spoiled rich [ __ ] I have the
00:58:41
Apple TV hooked up in every hotel room I'm in so I can watch my shows. >> What are your shows? Slow Horses. Uh
00:58:50
uh I'm I'm waiting for I'm watching Euphoria right now. >> I'm watching Euphoria, too. Yeah.
00:58:57
>> Don't Don't spoil it. I haven't seen last one, but >> I'm only as far as everybody else.
00:59:05
I like that it's every Sunday. I like that you can't jump ahead. >> It's like I didn't see it this week.
00:59:09
What? She's a nun? No. >> She has huge boobs again. >> Has anyone watched The Pit?
00:59:21
>> HBO Max, but >> I don't really see hospital shows, but this one is kind of extra extra.
00:59:27
>> It's pretty special. >> I I want The Pit, but it's just Brad Pit
00:59:30
telling girls they can't spend the night. I want to watch that show. >> Whenever
00:59:41
Brad Pitt is on TV and my my wife's just over there and I just go, I don't I
00:59:45
don't get it. I mean, really, there's not much going on with him. I mean, is
00:59:48
that considered handsome? You know, >> I don't see it. >> I remember being at a party. You ever
00:59:54
been in a room with [ __ ] P? >> So, you're in a you're at a party,
00:59:59
right? >> And Obama, >> you meet a you meet a woman. woman talks to you like this, right?
01:00:06
>> When Brad Pitt walks in the room, every woman takes a step and a half back from
01:00:13
whatever guy she's talking to. Like every woman's like kind of aware with like it's like when a pitbull gets
01:00:23
loose in a neighborhood. Like every woman knows exactly where the [ __ ] pit is in the room. And if I have a chance,
01:00:32
I'm not going to [ __ ] it up tonight over Chris Rock. >> They get a little bit
01:00:40
>> and then he gets a woman or he leaves the party and then the girl starts
01:00:44
talking to you normal again. Hey. Oh yeah. >> Is this kind of >> happened at least twice to me? Is this
01:00:50
also a tell when if Brad Pit comes in, a woman might just kind of just do this? >> I mean,
01:00:55
>> you know, just a subtle >> just clean it up a little bit. >> Just kind of clean it up a little bit.
01:00:59
>> Yeah. >> You ever seen that? >> I I've seen it. Yeah. There they kind of
01:01:02
let you know like, hey, if he even looks this way. >> Yeah. >> I'm going to kick you down and fly the
01:01:09
stairs. >> Immediately in a wood chipper. >> I'm a huge FAN. I >> HE'S A GREAT GUY. He's a great He's a a
01:01:16
great guy and a great actor. Chris, you remember when uh >> well, Marcy's here, but Marcy would
01:01:22
bring Carolyn Betetta around the office at SNL and Carolyn Bet was so stunning and we all kind of had a crush on her
01:01:28
and then we got the news she's dating JFK Jr. We're all like, "Oh, that's her
01:01:33
type." Oh, >> the kind of guy every person in the world loves. I thought she'd be a little
01:01:39
more interesting. >> Thought she'd like squirly broke writers. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I I remember. Yeah.
01:01:51
So, >> I went I went out with her roommate for a minute. Yeah. >> You what? You went out with her?
01:01:55
>> Oh, really? >> What? >> H >> Yeah. Anyway, >> plot thickening.
01:01:59
>> Plot thickening. That's as far as it got. Yeah. It was >> I'm going to just try to mention a
01:02:05
celebrity and see if you've had a >> I'm not that guy. I'm not.
01:02:08
>> No, you're It's just cuz you go. >> It's not. But I don't do that in my act.
01:02:11
But should I >> Well, people like you. I mean, and they want to hang out with you. That's all.
01:02:14
>> I like you. >> I mean, We We get to We're hanging out with you
01:02:20
right now. >> We're hanging out. This is um >> This is fun. >> This is the most fun you've had today,
01:02:24
right? >> This is kind of the most fun I'm gonna Well, maybe later, huh?
01:02:29
>> Uh >> who's over there? >> Yeah. All right. Well, Dan, any further
01:02:34
any last questions for our good friend? >> Um just Okay. Give me just quick quick
01:02:39
>> What do you want? What do you want? Anything? >> Adam Sandler. What What is with that
01:02:42
guy? Oh, I call him Adam Sandler Claus cuz uh >> cuz the >> I love that guy. That's my It's weird. I
01:02:51
realized Adam Sandler might be my oldest friend. Like, >> excuse me. >> That's right. Cuz it was pre
01:02:57
>> Well, cuz we know >> I knew him before I got on SNL. We were doing
01:03:03
>> the last thing you did at the Kennedy Center when they were vetting. >> Oh, yeah. You knew him before?
01:03:07
>> Yeah. I knew I knew Adam like a year and a half, two years in the standup. So
01:03:13
I've known Adam like 40 years or something. >> That part of the story that you told
01:03:17
about Adam was really touched me. It was so sweet. >> Well, >> just at the club and then the
01:03:22
>> it's like okay I'll tell the story again. So, at any comedy club, uh, you
01:03:27
start stacking chairs that first is the privilege is to just be allowed in the club
01:03:34
>> and then, okay, we're going to let you, uh, clean off tables and then, okay,
01:03:40
we're going to give you late night spots during the week >> so you can go on at one o'clock in the
01:03:46
morning on a Wednesday, right? And then you get week spot spots during the week.
01:03:52
And then the greatest thing you can do after a couple of years of working is they let you work the weekends,
01:03:59
>> right? >> Mhm. >> So, and that is like you're a top comic,
01:04:03
right? >> Right. >> And so I'm at the club >> pre-SNL. >> PreSNL.
01:04:10
>> Yeah. >> I meet Eddie Murphy at the club. >> Mhm. >> I meet Eddie Murphy at the club one
01:04:16
night as I was stacking chairs. Okay. I was stacking chairs. Eddie had watched like four guys and he goes to this guy
01:04:24
Lucian Hold. Hey, you got any black comics? >> And Lucian Hold's like, "We got one
01:04:28
right here." The guy got the guy hadn't spoke to me in six months. >> Eddie has that effect.
01:04:36
>> And they're they put me on stage in front of Eddie. Eddie laughs. Eddie
01:04:41
proceeds to tell me my whole life. >> Oh wow. >> So Eddie tells me, "You're going to be
01:04:46
in movies. You're going to do SNL. You're going to do this. You're going to
01:04:49
like everything that's happened to me in life. You're going to direct, you're
01:04:51
going to do this. >> From seeing one set, >> from seeing like eight minutes here and
01:04:55
there, >> like literally >> eight minutes literally predicts my whole future.
01:05:00
>> Yeah. >> Okay. You're going to get married. You're going to get divorced. Like
01:05:03
everything. >> Mary, divorce. Did he say you were going to meet me? >> Yeah. He said I was going to do this
01:05:10
podcast. Yeah. >> The church lady. >> So, and um you know, and this is like
01:05:15
the real Eddie Murphy. This is like This is not Dr. Doolittle. This is like >> This is Eddie.
01:05:20
>> This is red leather. Yeah. He probably had on some green leather and it's like
01:05:25
like Elvis Eddie and he's got 20 guys with him. >> And he's like, "We're going to LA
01:05:29
tomorrow. You should come." >> I go to LA with him. >> Holy [ __ ]
01:05:34
>> And I end up in Beverly Hills Cop >> 2. >> That's right.
01:05:38
>> A movie that I saw four times the day it came out. I I saw Beverly Hills Cop one. Me
01:05:46
and Fred Barton, who's not alive anymore, saw it four times. Anyway, so I'm in LA doing that.
01:05:54
>> Mhm. >> I come back cuz I have to come back. I only, you know, I only made $600 doing
01:06:01
Beverly Hills Cop, right? >> And who do I see? Who the [ __ ] this white kid on stage on Saturday night?
01:06:11
>> Zabadoo. >> What the [ __ ] is going on here? >> Right. I It took me two, three years to
01:06:17
get on that Saturday night. So, he just came out of the [ __ ] is this guy and it's Sandler.
01:06:22
>> Yeah. >> And like everything in my body said to hate this guy >> cuz not not only is he on Saturday night
01:06:31
and obviously didn't earn it. The Lucian, they told me he's on the Cosby
01:06:35
Show. It's like, [ __ ] how come I'm not on the Cosby Show? >> I'm a black guy. Who is this white boy
01:06:41
on the [ __ ] Cosby show? >> Excellent. >> Going on a Saturday night and I watched
01:06:49
him >> and I was so prepared to like like [ __ ] this guy >> and say and he did this joke about Wilt
01:06:59
Chamberlain scoring 100 points in a game. >> It was like the his impression of the
01:07:06
other players on the team. Hey Wil, I'm open. >> But he also had a line where they're in
01:07:12
a huddle. Wil's already scored 98. And the coach says, "Okay, who's got Wilt?"
01:07:18
>> That was another one. >> And they he had that other one about his
01:07:20
grandmother rubbing Bick's Bape rub on his chest and he looks his grandmother
01:07:25
in the eyes and goes, "We're just friends, right?" >> So >> I'm watching him do this and all the
01:07:35
hate just left my body. >> Yeah. And I was like, "This guy's the best. This guy's so [ __ ] funny. Oh my
01:07:41
god." And we just became friends that night. >> Yeah. >> Wasn't there a moment where he was with
01:07:46
sort of a gang and then he saw you and sort of said, >> you know, >> I don't know. I mean,
01:07:51
>> he invited you into this. >> Well, he was with all those guys he writes with now were there.
01:07:58
>> So like Jackuto and all those guys, you know, they were he was at he was going to NYU at the time.
01:08:07
Yeah, >> he was going to NYU. We had such insanely different backgrounds. Okay, so
01:08:13
he's he's literally going to NYU. I'm at his dorm and all this [ __ ] I'm living
01:08:18
in bed sty. It is the height of the crack epidemic. Okay, >> not this hipster bedsty you hear about
01:08:26
now. Like >> this is grandmother's blowing people [ __ ] crackhead. >> Right. So, the home values were
01:08:36
>> It was insane, dude. >> It was a crack was an insane time cuz crack and the VCR came out at the same
01:08:43
time. >> So, guys would people would do it was like the [ __ ] opium wars or some [ __ ]
01:08:51
and guys would show you tapes of somebody's [ __ ] three guys. It was crazy. Crack was insane. Anyway,
01:09:02
the good old days, >> Vinn, I remember me and Sandler auditioned for uh SNL on the same night.
01:09:11
>> I was doing a movie called Hanging Out with the Homeboys. Uh, and the director, we were in
01:09:17
rehearsals and I had the the auditions were in Chicago and so I needed a day off to go audition and the
01:09:28
director was like, "If you leave, you're fired." I left. They fired me. Uh, and I
01:09:34
went to I went to audition for SNL. And me and Sandler auditioned the night, the
01:09:40
same night. I did good. >> I don't think it was great, but it was good. Yeah.
01:09:45
>> And Sandler did good. And we both we watch Dana Ghoul destroy. >> Oh wow.
01:09:53
>> Oh yeah. >> And Dana Ghoul did so well I left. >> It's like why am I even here? This guy's
01:09:59
like the king of this [ __ ] >> Yeah. Great stuff. >> And him and me and Adam got the job.
01:10:06
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Me, Adam, and Farley. >> Yeah. Farley auditioned because we
01:10:13
auditioned at the improv and he was around the corner at Second City. >> Second City. Yeah. Yeah.
01:10:17
>> Yeah. So, we all got >> Could I ask you a question of something that spoke for 30 years? You know this
01:10:23
thing, you and Farley, >> right? >> Um because I think I made a joke when
01:10:29
you guys the first day you were hired. I think I was on Letterman and I did a thing of, "Oh, we have some new guys."
01:10:36
And I was sort of kidding, but I said, "You know who I am? You know, I'm the
01:10:39
freaking church lady." Now give me a cup of coffee. I think I said that and then
01:10:44
you and Chris just called me the lady. Period. Every rehearsal. See you. Where's lady?
01:10:52
Saw you lady. Good job lady. >> Yeah. Same thing with bar. It was only lady. Only you two guys. Never stop. I
01:11:00
think we have I saw you. I >> I didn't call you Dana until 2022. >> Yeah. I remember that day. Hey, I I
01:11:09
teared up a little bit. I was like, I have a name. I'm a person. >> I have Yeah,
01:11:17
>> David, >> I saw Chris on the back of some comedy magazine. It was a picture of you
01:11:22
and Sandler in the corner and I was in LA and I I didn't know either of you guys. Then I met Sandler, but I was
01:11:30
doing the same thing in the valley here um where Schneider and Drake Sailor and a lot of comics were going on and Jud
01:11:38
and and I'd see Sandler and Covert and you know, same situation where Sandler
01:11:44
was great and then we all kind of goofed around and and then he goes out, you know, and then he's doing out there you
01:11:50
and then we all wind up in the same show. It's such a ridiculous miracle. It's so funny how that happened.
01:11:55
>> Strange. >> Yeah. ridiculous >> just to make a living. I That's all I
01:12:01
thought about when I put down my waiter apron. Could I this be my job? >> Could my job be doing standup basically
01:12:09
that was it. You still that's the touchstone >> and then other things happened too. But
01:12:14
still that is the full circle. >> You're still doing good Dana. You're
01:12:17
doing great. And uh let's thank the audience for coming down >> you guys. We appreciate it. And thank
01:12:24
you Chris Rock. Chris Rock. Everybody >> see you guys. >> Is that it?
01:12:28
>> Thank you. >> Yeah. >> I know. It's weird, isn't it?
01:12:41
>> Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow
01:12:45
on your favorite podcast app. Give us a review, fivestar rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with
01:12:52
a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.
01:12:57
>> Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Danny Carvey
01:13:01
and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior
01:13:08
producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated
01:13:15
Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogerty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa
01:13:22
Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gainner, Shan Cherry, Kurt Kourtney, and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out
01:13:31
with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at fly onthewallsey.com.
01:13:38
That's audacy.com.