00:00:00
Dana we got Shawn Hayes today who is uh you know him from a lot of things he's
00:00:04
also one of the three guys on smartless and uh should have given him that joke when he was here Sean Hayes is
00:00:12
the I think he's right up there with the guy you'd want to uh uh sit next to at
00:00:18
an award show or something or he will go into a restaurant he's there like he is
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like yeah effusively fun up and positive and funny yeah it's true I've seen him
00:00:29
at Koy and that's where I saw him and we talked about it on Smart list but I've seen him
00:00:33
and he's always fun I'll go to his table he'll come to my table we just do bits
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and he's always a laugh upbeat uh great on smartless I was kidding you know he's
00:00:43
one like when we were doing just shoot me oh a few people remember thank you and he was doing Will and Grace he I
00:00:51
think he was there when we were all up for he was always like smoking me and like the Emmys like we'd all be up for
00:00:57
supporting but I think one time he and I got up for a Golden Globe and it was I should have asked him this because it
00:01:04
was back when that supporting actor was just actor on TV which is way harder so you're up against everything so I think
00:01:11
it was me and him and then two people from ER which is a drama and then Gregory peek wow from Moby Dick a movie
00:01:20
on TV and so I'm like just give it to why why are we even having a contest guy's like a legend and then he got up
00:01:27
to give his speech cuz he smoked all of us and then he said I can't believe I'm
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getting a an award for a 902 Cameo I was like that's all you did I'm in assault
00:01:37
mines for 22 Episodes a week mumbling my jokes I can't believe that I'm getting
00:01:43
an award for 90 seconds of work course I'm g g p sorry best I could do in a PCH
00:01:49
yeah that's how he was and he killed it oh yeah exactly he go Moby Dick I'm
00:01:55
going to throw a spear at you well when I was when I was on sh Night Live the category for getting an Emmy was variety
00:02:03
so you'd be up against jugglers you know people swall fish and just a pogo stick star I mean someone
00:02:12
from AGT other award shows the uh you know the inaugural address of the president I mean it was so most
00:02:20
eclectic but after unicyclists I find you know so but back to our guest Johan Hayes uh I would listen to this one if
00:02:29
you want to be a good mood and hear a lot about Sean Hayes and all all the stuff he's done you know from Will and
00:02:34
Grace forward he's just keeps working and and smartless we are a little they
00:02:39
are like the Borg if you know the reference you the smartless guys are doing very well on their podcasts let's
00:02:47
put it that way and Sean's a big part of that he's done Broadway we talk about
00:02:52
that yep we talk about everything and without further Ado oh bless you uh here's Shawn Hayes
00:03:00
[Music] let's just get through this one let's get through it we are finally talking to
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a pro we're talking to a pro I'm a little nervous no no no this is wonderful to see you both uh David uh
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good morning looks like you just woke up uh he's stretching the beauty of Zo up for six
00:03:24
hours knows no one knows watching yes um Dana are you at home is everybody at home I'm at home yeah yeah yeah all
00:03:32
right which is where are where are you where are you Sean my room's next to David's in the old folks
00:03:39
home we have we have a knock system one one knock means come over two means no come over to me three knocks means what
00:03:47
are you having for dinner that whole thing on the wall through the wall I did that with my sister when I was a kid oh
00:03:52
that was your system yeah yeah that was my system my sister used to pay me her allowance to make her laugh
00:04:00
really yeah I had a younger sister and I would get a tennis racket pretend I was
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playing it I don't know it was what what did you do with your my stepdad used to
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knock three times that meant I'm going to do something and you're not going to
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tell anyone oh geez anyway so what else is going on guys so what else is going on Sean how's your life how's your let's
00:04:22
not go down that rabbit hole my life is good everything's really really good I mean I love your it's too
00:04:30
good it's too goodan that's what we're he about it's just as good as yours I
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mean it's you listen to I I refer to your podcast a lot this I've called you
00:04:40
the smartless guys and you're kind of like the Borg if you watch Star Trek n
00:04:44
generation you're like the you're like the the seniors at Chimney Corner and
00:04:49
David and I are with you know lunge pales in the in the bleachers it's like you can never beat the smartest guys no
00:04:57
my my husband is obsessed with Trek I don't really know Star Trek but I know
00:05:01
borgs but I was with you guys with the lunch pales I'm with you yeah I'm like you
00:05:08
know I'm sci-fi nerd geek but I but just not Star Trek I just never got into it
00:05:13
well what what's your because I'm I'm a little in that area what's what's your
00:05:17
uh what's your area I love Star Wars I love like exmachina like like single stand
00:05:26
arrival oh yeah did you see it DAV I saw exmachina and that's what I was saying
00:05:32
it that was a hot robot but but arrival I liked it so much I brought my wife back the next day who's not a real
00:05:39
science fiction fan was mesmerized by it so yeah and how it's like a very six
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sense like if you don't know that all of her flashbacks are really flash forwards
00:05:49
like I had to watch it again because I thought it was so clever is that Amy Adams Amy Adams and Jeremy Runner thank
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God great great that was a great one I love all that stuff you do mhm I'm into
00:06:01
UFOs I on my on my algo it's all about UFOs and yeah and did you like how they
00:06:06
rebranded it to uaps right and why does that help but because I'm are we gonna get into it we gonna
00:06:15
let's do it I love it UFO to UAP that's right so because because UFO it's almost
00:06:21
like we need to when politicians Rebrand things or like people in this country brand things it's because they're on to
00:06:27
you or something so UFO identified flying object how is that different than unidentified are aial phenomenon
00:06:35
phenomenon it's the same thing why did we reand it which JLo is Jennifer Lopez
00:06:42
she switched it but I know what was going on she was the same person yeah yeah and you can identify her like that
00:06:48
it's very similar situation we asked David told William Shatner one of our guests that he believed in UFOs
00:06:58
William Shatner he 92 at the time he he did a 10-minute thing about mirages in the desert very clever very articulate
00:07:07
and I'll never forget that so when you say you you hear about what is mirages in the desert that
00:07:13
they exist or don't exist like well just that of course you're going to see
00:07:18
things you can't explain you know I think it was not pro little martians I I
00:07:24
can't believe there's not water you know do you like Star Trek no like I like the Star Trek movies by
00:07:32
the way I like the movies that JJ did yeah but I just did I don't know the history so I couldn't I don't know like
00:07:39
the relationship anyway I digress but anyway UFOs yes I believe I want to know what you believe in do you believe
00:07:44
there's aliens are here I totally believe no I don't know that they're
00:07:48
here but I believe all the stuff that we've seen like the footage and stuff that the military has they have to have
00:07:53
come here it just doesn't did you see Prometheus of course yeah did you David
00:08:00
what's I can you use it in a sentence David Le promethus Oh I thought there's
00:08:05
a spelling be uh no I I uh did I is that with ex machina's boyfriend fast Bender
00:08:14
yes oh yeah are they really dating in real life oh yeah oh no he's married to
00:08:19
somebody else yeah Alicia vickland am I crazy yeah Vic laner good one David wow that's terrific I look
00:08:28
dum so that's the idea that aliens have visited and may be seated us all 2001
00:08:36
well were you are Dan are you a big fan of Prometheus because I have a little scoop well I am a big fan and I don't
00:08:42
think they're G to make another one unless you got a scoop no I think they're what no but I have a SC about I
00:08:47
I don't know if it's true but I I I heard that the the reason why people had they cut out a big
00:08:54
section of that movie is what I heard I don't know if it's true okay where they
00:08:57
explain why the engineer the big alien at the end came so uh they explained it through the Bible that Jesus was gone
00:09:05
you know the Bible they don't talk about Jesus for like 30 years or whatever it
00:09:09
is yeah it's during that time that that engineer plucked him from Earth took him
00:09:13
back to their Planet teached him how to uh teach how Humanity should go and then
00:09:20
plucked him back down that's why in the Bible he reappears it in his 30s and
00:09:24
then they get it wrong because people are still treating each other like [ __ ] so the engineers come back and want to
00:09:28
swipe it the whole Earth away and start over again so it's like a little bible
00:09:32
thing that they cut out there right right yeah and that and it was it was really Scott's explanation for why Jesus
00:09:37
was missing in the Bible for so many years which I think is really a great idea I didn't get any of that I did see
00:09:42
it I was going to say is it rley Scott I watched The Passion of the Christ uh two
00:09:47
nights ago and can't beat it that was a pun it's a it's uh it's that a joke from the movie
00:10:00
yeah that was tagline was on the posters anyway Catholicism is very very interesting U so yeah I grew up Catholic
00:10:10
did you guys grow up Catholic I'm a lapsed Lutheran but now I go to Catholic
00:10:15
church with my wife laps Luthers well I go like that because I see the Friars there and I go L I like that they go you
00:10:22
could get a I don't do the wafer he says you could go up and cross your arms and
00:10:27
get a blessing I never even as a kid kid I could say something but we'd have to
00:10:32
cut it we'll cut it we'll say we'll cut it no I can't I can't take the risk um
00:10:38
no no I was a horny gay kid and I was you can say that yeah I can say that yes and I know where you're going at 13 or
00:10:47
14 years old so I was and then that's when all the news came out about the horrible molestation in the Catholic
00:10:53
church but for me I would have killed to date anybody at the time so I that's all
00:11:00
I'll say about that I thought you were saying why is Jesus always like in a loin cloth with a
00:11:07
12pack I mean right right uh no you were going to say why aren't these priests
00:11:13
eyeballing me when you changing your outfits I didn't say it okay I'm just
00:11:17
saying that's that's a normal scenario if you're a kid you don't know I didn't
00:11:21
say it I didn't say it no no you're just a kid it's all most station's horrible I
00:11:25
wasn't saying like anyway you're like I'm just a kid I'm just a kid that's not
00:11:28
sex I'm going on record of hating all child abuse I'm just you guys oh yeah
00:11:33
I'm anti- child abuse I have to say it I am anti child abuse as well yeah that's
00:11:38
something you have to Proclaim and I'm anti- podcasts that wander into child
00:11:42
abs and make jokes no I hate it all okay we're all in sync but I grew up Catholic
00:11:47
and so we were forced to go to church and and CCD classes like where Bible classes as kids yeah but um yeah I never
00:11:55
I never really got into I I would always there was two chapels and me and my old
00:11:59
oldest brother would always be like Bye Mom we we're going to go to the other
00:12:02
Chapel we were just playing in the backyard of the church oh you didn't go to the chapel well there were five of us
00:12:08
and if our parents slept past 9 a.m. we knew we didn't have to go so we would be
00:12:12
like we may not have to go because we have to put our church pants on right which my brother Scott we shared a
00:12:18
bedroom we had to put Church pants on and we didn't want to be seen in the neighborhood with our church pants so we
00:12:22
would be completely flat in the back of the station wagon hiding I think the outfit for everybody that works at Home
00:12:28
Depot is Church pants I think that's what church pants you have to buy to work there and also
00:12:34
Best Buy yeah Best Buy yeah those brown I know yeah that's that Dennis Miller
00:12:39
line that I think was a little class Warfare you know Christ sakes if you're
00:12:43
40 years of age and you're still wear a name tag at your employment area you may
00:12:48
be thinking of another career another vocation another vocation you know I mean anytime you do that David is just
00:12:59
like I've seen it all I I like it I jump in I piggyback I could listen to you do
00:13:04
8,000 Impressions every single day of my life to that day I do Dennis now with more of a clench jaw because he's he's
00:13:11
incredibly successful he's very relaxed he's very good with money yeah and he
00:13:15
and he's kind of like this very soft okay you know might go uh shoot nine holes with Mikey Douglas you know and
00:13:24
that sounds very much like him got a couple Shekel in my pocket you all oh yeah yeah I T anyone who you you're
00:13:34
you're kind of in the Army uh not literally folks but when you go through the gauntlet of SNL with a with a Cadre
00:13:42
of people yeah you're forever kind of bonded just because it's the most intense experience you can have in Show
00:13:47
Business apparently right you did 2001 you hosted oh Saturday Night Live yeah you hosted Saturday Night Live
00:13:57
that's the them our show no did you host Prometheus what do you think we're talking about no he hosted
00:14:04
2001 that was released in 1968 that's what I thought I was like wait Space Odyssey oh you're right no yeah 2001 it
00:14:11
was like the uh who was uh sh I think Shaggy was the musical guest and it was Shaggy yeah Shaggy I can't believe Shawn
00:14:21
Hayes is on Satur here he comes out for his monologue I'm oh hello oh that's
00:14:27
right he did that got a look did Scooby ever talk or did he just go no rut roll that was it it's not that
00:14:34
much it is word it's a more it's more than your dog can say oh [ __ ] you got me
00:14:39
there hey guess what Lauren asked me once what what's what's the deal with
00:14:44
Scooby Do why why do the kids like it and I say it's the first time they're
00:14:49
watching kind of something that scares them that that's still very playful it's
00:14:53
kind of a it's a horror show to a two-year-old but as a kid did you watch it as a kid yeah I did I think I it was
00:15:01
I don't know when it first hit I think maybe I watched when did it first come
00:15:04
on I don't know I don't know but I couldn't get into it I could what we
00:15:07
just had this conversation the other day what cartoons did you watch I watched Tom and Jerry because there were no
00:15:11
words so I didn't have to concentrate and that's it I go back to Felix the Cat you can
00:15:16
look it up but that was the first cartoon I used popey was around in the 60s um Johnny Quest was sort of
00:15:26
considered cool not El kabong there were some very silly Hana El kabong what's in it some donkey
00:15:35
with a guitar would beat people off I really yeah don't know look it up El kabong um that's milk well let me ask
00:15:47
you uh TV shows as a kid yeah because you're a little down the ladder for me
00:15:52
so it'd be like the 70s late no I got same ladder just further you're you'll climb up to my at
00:16:01
some point I bet you watch Brady Bunch yeah I watch Brady Bunch I watch I remember well I remember watching a lot
00:16:08
of sitcoms like bre company and then cheers when it first started but my mom used to make me uh record The Cosby Show
00:16:17
for her every Thursday night because she would go bowling and so you know I I I was raised by my mom raised five kids by
00:16:24
herself we had my dad left when I was super super young five sounds like your mom left too God I wish my I wish my dad
00:16:30
had left I'm sorry for your loss Sean but that would have been terrific with
00:16:34
five in our family too but dad daddy staying couldn't get Daddy out the door
00:16:39
there's worse things than daddy leaving and that's daddy staying right that's
00:16:43
probably true that's another podcast can I ask you a question how many viewers
00:16:48
did Cosby The Cosby Show have at its peak I have no idea what this a trivia show all of a sudden just answer trivia
00:16:56
50 million I don't know yeah got it had to be a ton I'm still laughing at David
00:17:01
said sound like Mom left too yeah she went bowling while you guys [ __ ] fought for she just Mom Mom just made me
00:17:08
her surrogate husband yeah yeah which she told me that when she was 50 I went to therapy you were my surrogate husband
00:17:16
wait tell me that's so interesting my mom when she passed away from Alzheimer's like three four years ago
00:17:21
she I I kind of took on that role too because she would I think she would think of me as her husband or something
00:17:28
it was really interesting and and and then funny because Alzheimer's you know
00:17:32
you go through all the crying and the crying and the crying for years and years and then to get out of it you can
00:17:38
only make funny like it can only be funny in order to course anything can be funny even though it's horrifying that
00:17:45
is a horrifying situation was your mom was your mom kind of happy there are certain people with Alzheimer's get very
00:17:51
angry and mean and nasty and some are kind of silly and happy yeah she was at least she was paranoid and angry and um
00:17:59
and then when she got on the other side of that then she was pretty Pleasant my mom was funny because she would point to
00:18:05
a little plant next to her table and she'd say have you met my friend yeah my mom one time I walked
00:18:13
into her bedroom and she left a crap in the toilet and I go I go mom you gotta you gotta flush the toilet and she goes
00:18:21
she Point she pointed out she goes that's not mine I don't know whose that
00:18:25
is they come in here they do that and they leave it ah that's her Alzheimer's
00:18:30
talking yes and of course and I start laughing and then she starts laughing it was and you don't know if she's clowning
00:18:36
you or not well no she wasn't she was full on hey guys news flash came out yesterday they had an AI study 7 million
00:18:46
blah blah blah they found out that men it happens to be Viagra that take Viagra on any kind of regular basis have a 70%
00:18:52
less chance of getting Alzheimer's oh like it's a preventable drug but because
00:18:57
it's all about blood vessels and getting rid of plaques in the brain and yeah
00:19:02
just I don't know David's looking up his either his bank account I'm listening
00:19:06
intently yes David um that's interesting I don't need it do you guys need it uh only if I go
00:19:16
to what are you talking about only Sean well that's so silly what a funny question yeah I get them at the
00:19:26
gas station when they go they're right by there and they're like hey grab a
00:19:29
boner for the road and I'm like why are they right here someone's just like oh I
00:19:34
might need that I'll get that with some Twizzlers and it's like it's not it's
00:19:38
not real who has an original Viagra erectile dysfunction joke anybody David must have one I don't think so there's
00:19:47
there's a billion of them no but I I have to take other stuff I don't take
00:19:51
that I have to take a thyroid thing in the it's the first thing I do every single morning sex thing what happened
00:19:57
to your thyroid yeah low low low what so that so you're tired then you get the pill and you get
00:20:03
I was like why am I exhausted and then I went to the doctor like oh it's just
00:20:07
normal you age number two and then I take um bunch of supplements and a little baby aspir because I get aib I
00:20:15
love talk about medical stuff so if you guys want to talk about medical stuff Dan loves it all day long I me me too we
00:20:21
like science fiction and medical stuff I think you you might be my new best friend yeah David take a five no I'm
00:20:28
look 40 I'm actually 46 oh who's oh self self declared you look you're 4 you're 46 but you read at
00:20:37
a 48-year-old level I identify as a lower number than what I the guy's got a
00:20:43
noggin on him um medicine yeah I'm good with cardiovascular disease anything
00:20:49
with bypasses or stin or or did you about this new thing that that you could put into your heart oh man I forgot what
00:20:56
it's called brand new I guess you wouldn't know about that you have to have a doctor do it actually
00:21:06
actually out you did now you want it back oh no and they're all out of it they're
00:21:20
like backlog like I I signed up for anyway there's this new you can put inside your heart that makes it um like
00:21:28
it's it's a blood it stop it makes it so you don't ever have to have blood
00:21:33
thinners oh yeah I don't know about that I was on them for first I was on niin
00:21:38
for 10 years 3,000 milligrams a day and then and then myad bad heart or why uh just to help with the the uh bring your
00:21:47
HDL the good cholesterol up after 10 years my cardiologist who's a friend of
00:21:51
mine I'll do the accent from he's Hindu he goes you don't really have to take it
00:21:56
anymore it doesn't do any good so it was like really three 3,000 a day for a
00:22:02
decade then I was on Plavix a blood thinner for 20 years and then he said you don't really didn't need it that
00:22:08
long get rid of it does nin make you orange I've heard that is that a lie my
00:22:14
wife took one of my niin which is a b something thing out of the blue she took a thousand explosive diarrhea drenched
00:22:22
and sweat I mean I acclimated slowly but that stuff is nasty yeah kill for some diarrhea just to lose
00:22:29
here and there what about OIC Oprah had a special on it I know I I just saw that
00:22:33
she had a special I watched it for like two seconds I was like oh I got it is zic just
00:22:43
diarrhea well we have another disclaimer we are pro uh we are anti-body shaming we are yes yes and promodern science
00:22:55
that can re reorientate the brain take yeah what an edgy show are I have questions you can we could do a quiz
00:23:04
like which one do you want to tackle yeah yeah sure yeah please okay well I guess the first one because I assume
00:23:12
you're a fanatic so I did listen to you you guys I don't what is it Bill Flett
00:23:19
and and G B fluke I listen to you guys with McCartney Oh wow that was a long time
00:23:28
ago did him before us but I listened to you talk to mccarton before David and I yeah yeah so then I didn't know at the
00:23:34
time like you're like a really great classical pianist oh I play yeah I studied yeah classical pianist I started
00:23:41
when I was five years old there was a piano teacher across the street and I came home from you know preschool and my
00:23:46
mom said do you want to take piano lessons I was like I literally said quote I'm not doing anything else so I
00:23:51
walked across the street started taking lessons and stuck with it and then I did
00:23:56
yard work because we couldn't afford anything couldn't afford heat one winter
00:24:00
we couldn't afford food a lot of the time so to pay for my piano lessons I would do yard work from at my piano
00:24:06
teacher house for her and her husband and her husband was a conductor in the Chicago land area and so I was doing all
00:24:12
these landscaping and yard I was I was horrible and people in high school thought I lived there was this big
00:24:17
mansion like in where I liveed I was like yeah I Liv there like the movie Lucas anybody and so I Lucas yeah
00:24:22
remember that shot in my high school and so um and so I story is already more interesting but keep
00:24:32
going Lucas I was Lucas I went out for football so I love Lucas wasn't that such a good movie oh [ __ ] I love it a
00:24:40
writer first film oh that's right Charlie Sheen was great green chuck chuck Sheen go ahead so you played the
00:24:47
piano and mowed some Lawns yeah that's it and he wrote a song about mowing lawns right there was like a local out I
00:24:55
was better at mowing lawns I went into G I understand that you uh you learned to
00:24:59
tinle the Ivory and um oh Dan has a good question about McCartney though right well I was just I was just noticing how
00:25:06
so you're interviewing Paul McCartney and I didn't know you're a classical
00:25:09
piano so you you did ask or you you were dissecting one of his songs and you got
00:25:14
very into the language of signatures and the quarter fifth about um what's the
00:25:20
song what's the song uh what's that song that from the in the 1990s um long and
00:25:25
whining Road no no oh the flowers in the dirt no that was 80s cut out this air let me just think of it uh it was
00:25:37
um my Brave face no more lonely night that was0 that was 80s but yeah yeah so so
00:25:47
it's a great song so I asked could you sing a little more of that that's good I'm always there yeah
00:25:54
anyway so yeah uh he yeah I was I was talking to him because I'm a of yeah a
00:25:59
music nerd like I'm sure he is but I didn't know that he never studied music
00:26:03
or anything but so I I I don't know if I made him aware he was into like he wrote
00:26:07
like a three four bar then a five five five4 bar and then a four four bar then a three four bar again so it wasn't you
00:26:13
it wasn't and the four that we know like pick any most you know 99% of pop songs
00:26:18
are in four four time which is time which is just four be six seven eight you know and um but he would write all
00:26:27
the the beatle and his stuff he would write different time signatures all the time but if you're not used to music
00:26:34
theory you probably don't you know pick it up like I did yeah but that's
00:26:39
interesting I he probably likes to hear that kind of stuff more than and that well I went into this long explanation
00:26:43
as you know to Paul McCartney and at the long exclamation He says oh I didn't
00:26:48
know that I don't read music I was like okay next he goes okay I don't know what
00:26:53
you're talking about yeah which I always find fascinating that people who don't
00:26:58
studied are prolific in it I don't know if George Martin kind of you know by
00:27:03
osmosis sort of influenced them but if you look at Penny Lane and then it goes that all the different timing even maybe
00:27:08
I'm a maze I've talked to real musicians uh time signature changes the beat and
00:27:14
and also you know uh key changes all the stuff that makes all the magic so un unreal can't beat can't beat
00:27:22
Talent yeah we had them on Sean or can you our first our first three things we told him I think were compliments and he
00:27:31
goes well these aren't really questions yeah yeah yeah and we were like we didn't know oh we we we got we we went
00:27:39
into a rabbit hole we I was terrified I was in yeah I was too Wyoming David was in New York and I was on vacation Paul
00:27:47
mcney can talk to you tomorrow tomorrow I was in a [ __ ] hole with my family we
00:27:51
didn't have WiFi I had to go up to the Four Seasons it was $9,000 room well worth it
00:27:58
well worth it oh my God so then we mentioned meeting Paul at Lauren Michaels house in 1986 when I got SNL
00:28:05
yeah and he scrunched up his face I don't know what you're talking about oh
00:28:08
my God he doesn't remember pull up pull up pull up so then what happened was you
00:28:14
might find it get back it come out between you guys interview oh go ahead say did you ever did you ever listen to
00:28:20
that like automated cockpit voice it's like 300 200 100 you're like oh my God
00:28:27
we're going to crash I have a friend who sends me Airline disasters on YouTube so it's
00:28:34
happy guys in a cockpit we'll proceed Runway four five you know and then going
00:28:39
down go and then you hear them go um runway's kind of dark and then oh my God
00:28:45
yeah wor who wants to let I hate to fly but I fly I will fly yeah but anyway get
00:28:51
back came out so we did ask him about get back so that then we were good you know about that did you see the
00:28:57
documentary um yeah yeah the the 8 hour documentary had come out I don't know if
00:29:01
he commented on it but at one point I said did John ever thank you for your baselines and that kind of opened up a
00:29:08
lot of stuff joh can I ask you a question being a podcaster do you gu do you guys any of
00:29:14
you three ever have podcast regret like you have someone that's kind like a Paul
00:29:19
McCartney or or someone you admire and really want to and then later you go oh I wish I'd asked him that I wish I'd
00:29:27
said that yeah that's the part that tortures me yeah but yeah I know me too um and let me
00:29:34
know when you get a guest on that that doesn't torture you um you're pretty good so far because you
00:29:41
know the game you know you know moving I'm like I got to pick subjects because
00:29:46
there's no questions yet there's really only been two questions I have a
00:29:48
question here's an exact question no but you're the only actor in human history
00:29:54
as far as I know piano and who played Larry of The Three Stooges and played Jerry Lewis yeah so what was the
00:30:03
difference comedically between a three sto and a Jerry Lewis did you learn anything he just the same way no one
00:30:14
know hello I'm Larry I'm Jerry Lewis that's fantastic that then David
00:30:22
you're up next you've answered my question he qu around you to you're
00:30:25
disturbing my coffee break good now do Larry yeah no uh yeah and then I just played Oscar Levant on on Broadway last
00:30:40
year so I only play Jewish guys I guess the Broadway was a big deal that was a big one right yeah that was pretty good
00:30:50
yeah didn't you win You've Won Tony's right just the one for that yeah damn
00:30:55
but um but yeah no Larry Fine was was super fun that was with Sophia varara wait what did Sophia varaga play she
00:31:02
played Mo and then who played Curley she played when curly Chris topus Will Sasso safia varara uh tons of
00:31:13
people tons of great great people um okay and and and it was really really fun it was it was in Atlanta it was so
00:31:19
effing have you ever shot in Atlanta in this I did stand up in Atlanta and walked around town in August yeah yeah
00:31:27
this is outside 14 hours a day for 3 months and 110 degrees wearing a that's
00:31:31
better than OIC to lose weight get a get a movie in August outside in Atlanta and
00:31:37
put down your freaking pills all right go ahead no no it was but it was definitely worth it it was so fun I mean
00:31:44
it was we laughed so hard but it was it was a lot of work yeah but I had to shave my head twice a day every day
00:31:50
because by lunchtime it would start growing back I would have five o'clock shadow on my bald head oh really because
00:31:58
I glued the wig to my head and so that glue while you're sweating and that's
00:32:04
when I when I first met you I had glue on my head and I was sweating that's right you remember that yeah so I'm at
00:32:10
lights out David show and I had just done alucino a Scarface yeah and then you get the wig off and the bald cap and
00:32:18
the thing and you're just it's always fascinating what's he got going on up
00:32:21
there where where do his hairline actually start but you were incredibly Pleasant and I like
00:32:28
I love like same same it was so fun to meet you David I've known for years David David was was doing just shoot me
00:32:35
when I was doing one Grace at the stage right next to us yeah and I was walk we were both walking together and I just I
00:32:40
left him to walk up to my stage and I just opened the stage door and David said God you smell it smells so bad on
00:32:48
the lot and I open my stage door and I go all I smell is a hit oh my God [ __ ] the this real
00:32:59
story I used to say to people go ahead you guys well I I said to David f54 I smell an Oscar nomination that's
00:33:12
did uh well when I I did just shoot me in it was going along fine then these [ __ ] came along from Will and Grace
00:33:22
and they were we like I think Megan was right next to my dressing room we'd have
00:33:27
to walk you know 100 yards to the stages well yours is closer but walk over so we
00:33:32
see each other all the time and then we were doing pretty good we were by no means like a monster hit it was very
00:33:38
tough that was a great show and you did great I have to say when we're up when
00:33:42
we're on the same lot as Seinfeld you know there there was a real Heyday right
00:33:45
then there was a lot of shows Frasier and ER and Will and Grace So Fraser I think what happened the humiliating
00:33:52
there's two humiliating things one we were I think the 8 o' and then friends
00:33:59
this maybe the N or whatever show and then the hammock ones the degrading name for the 8:30 and 9:30 shows were the
00:34:06
ones that needed some help so you go Will Will and Grace will follow us because they're new they don't know
00:34:13
anything I think that's what happened you can tell me if I'm wrong I think so
00:34:16
and then something follows like Frasier at 9:30 whatever and then after about a year they went and switched us cuz Will
00:34:25
and Grace came out of the gate pretty hard we were on for so they switched us so we
00:34:30
flip-flop where we were 8:30 I think so Will and Grace is off and running and then the other part that was infuriating
00:34:36
was when I had to walk by all four of your Porsches on the way to the set because you [ __ ] got Porsches we were
00:34:44
gifted Porsches we were sharing a moped at that point wait a minute well how many episodes before you got the car so
00:34:50
the same thing happened to us happened to friends which was friends wasn't a
00:34:54
hit out of I mean people watched it but over the the after the first season of friends over the summer when they used
00:34:59
to run play reruns friends became huge and then we started out the same way where nobody really kind of they were
00:35:06
just checking us out and then over the summer it just exploded and uh so the network the head of network Scott sassa
00:35:12
I was called him I got him mixed up with Samy Sosa i s yeah s and Scott Sasa he brought us to lunch and then we when we
00:35:20
were done eating lunch we walked out and there was four Porsches there he's like
00:35:24
congratulations on the I was like oh my God and immediately I thought selling it
00:35:28
because I needed the money so I waited like you know because why do I want to play insurance on it I don't have money
00:35:33
to pay my rent so I was I sold it like two months later but you got a decent chunk you get decent at the be I know
00:35:40
you guys probably renegotiated but at the beginning you did pretty good right yeah not I mean sure not not in the
00:35:47
beginning probably by when did it really like okay this is a hit was it year three season two yeah for sure so the
00:35:55
summer jacked it up and then you came back hard and then maybe they flipped us after that but just shoot me was doing
00:36:00
fine it was all it was really like a great fun time it was all of that was fun I remember I was wondering if we
00:36:07
ever were up for the same award because I only got I got I didn't get that many
00:36:12
I didn't win anything but put it on your trivia list trivia questions how many a
00:36:18
yeah oh mine's zero but uh I'll just that's a spoiler but but I thought maybe
00:36:23
Golden Glove because we were both supporting actors on comedies and I was looking at all your you got Awards and
00:36:30
stuff well I would have loved to have lost to you I think you're brilliant it
00:36:34
says Jack McFarland Jack had a last name I didn't know that yeah okay yeah that
00:36:39
should be a trivia question yeah well Finch didn't Finch I don't know if they
00:36:44
did aren't you impressed that I no it was Dennis Finch Finch was my last name
00:36:48
oh Dennis Finch yeah but they called me Finch and I mean no one would know Dennis because oh uh George seagull
00:36:53
called me Dennis in the show they always say that you were the fwn of just shoot
00:36:58
me yeah yeah and Sean were you the fs of Will and Grace I was the F hey you're
00:37:07
the funny overtly funny hey hey hey hey remember hey heyy remember what's happening [ __ ] yeah that was the only
00:37:19
show I ever wrote into TV Guide because I wanted because I thought D was so funny remember D Raj um sister
00:37:28
oh is she younger and she say smart Al comment so funny thought she was hysterical so I wrote at a TV Guide as a
00:37:34
kid and I was like d where's D you know where does she do by the way she's a
00:37:39
veterinarian now in the valley if anybody yeah per perfect cat's out of the [Music]
00:37:56
bag I've got a good way to get Dana do an impression ready okay good wind me up
00:38:01
get ready I did Shawn's other show later Hot in Cleveland yes you did brilliant and with
00:38:10
Wendy Malik who's so good it's not even we're talking about she's so good
00:38:14
everyone knows it and I was was that a hazy Mills production or no yeah and was great yep and we uh and I played a hair
00:38:24
cutter and who is my Nemesis was it reges filin I don't remember [ __ ] yes it was I
00:38:33
knew it because I was waiting for Dana to go anyway you ready for this anyway anyway
00:38:38
you ready for this who doesn't love Shan Hayes here he is you know he's been
00:38:42
active all these years he's got so many shows he's got timing like a watch you
00:38:46
can't believe it he makes an entrance like nobody's business now he's got a
00:38:50
podcast Empire it's called smart who or smart L whatever it is but the king and
00:38:56
whatever a brother way or wherever else it goes it's all I could listen to that all
00:39:03
day I've turned William Shatner Chinese because I think I signed him off as as
00:39:10
Regis who doesn't love Captain Kirk he's done all these things he's get to the
00:39:14
mood he goes everywhere he's always in out of space if he's not out of space
00:39:19
he's at chil's having a bull whatever just on and on and on the Emy and the uh oh I love read I
00:39:27
Love I get to visit people I've already gone to the Stars when I do just I you
00:39:32
know and you know you know Mike Sher then right of SNL or yeah well and he created parks and rack
00:39:39
and Mike sh he's great he's married to reg's daughter huh could you believe
00:39:45
that Mike sh the old hly daughter you could ever have there he is I hope he's
00:39:49
a good man you know what the way I learned that I learned Trump was by doing it was a bit of Regis and then
00:39:56
adding in Marlin Brando kind of made me go to Trump now the people everybody does Trump but it's like and then and
00:40:04
then you get you you know you know inside baseball no no it's good I love that you know how to like I'm fatly like
00:40:12
bu Frank cendo right amazing impression well his his Morgan Freedman is one of those that's gone to this other almost
00:40:20
scary level you know like it's not it's just a magic trick but I it blows my
00:40:25
mind the science behind your brain Dana and the ability to do that like how the ability to listen and then know where to
00:40:34
place it in your throat to to to mimic something it's terrible when you it it's
00:40:40
terrible when you you just say oh I want to try to learn this person or someone's
00:40:44
asking you to learn this person and you can't do it at all it's very painful all
00:40:49
I all I do is listen a lot you know and just pray because a lot of it's like
00:40:54
singing too if you sing you know where to place a note and stuff I suppose it's
00:40:57
similar right like uh yeah and for me I just get bored or I'm not I don't feel like I'm at the
00:41:04
level of Frank Kendo as a pure impressionist so then I just try to abstract it and make a character out of
00:41:10
it but it's enough of the true source that it makes sense anyway I know it's
00:41:14
so great anyway whatever I can only do my friends when you do your friends you know it's funny but you can't use that
00:41:20
anywhere except with your stupid friend group and then if your friend became famous it would be your impression PR
00:41:26
God but it'll never happen uh we have a question for you we've been already yeah already 48 minutes in look
00:41:33
at these notes ready how what's because you have three peoplee on Smart list you have three
00:41:41
people interviewing that's not the question okay but what's the least amount you've talked and who is the
00:41:48
guest oh gosh the least amount well it's usually a sports figure oh you hang back
00:41:56
yeah um but I'm more because I'm more interested in their life and their you
00:42:00
know everyday life rather than the sport itself but even though I I like sports I
00:42:03
love football and Will's getting me into soccer so it's I find that he get into
00:42:08
soccer with me yeah and then um but uh no it was Clayton khaw what's his name the
00:42:17
baseball player DOD Cameron [Music] no Clayton KW he's like who's that guy kurk Cameron
00:42:28
I think it was uh Kershaw he's super super great guy so he was on and I didn't you know and he was an early
00:42:35
guest so I was like I didn't know what to ask because it was baseball and I I
00:42:39
know how to I played baseball as a kid blah blah blah like I I know the ins and outs but I didn't really have anything
00:42:45
off the top of my head I could ask him so I Googled while we were talking and I said so um I read somewhere that you
00:42:55
were left-handed tell us about that what an idiot that was my one question good job
00:43:03
you're like I heard you bought a Jeep once walk walk us through why not leas if you had to stand
00:43:12
somewhere would you rather stand on the mound or home plate while you were having lunch that's
00:43:19
exactly I turned into Chris Marley oh you did you were like remember when you were left-handed
00:43:26
yeah stupid dumb white by the way speaking of Paul McCartney that was one of the great
00:43:32
Chris Farley um questions of all time was it Chris Farley Show on Saturday yeah Chris Farley Show hey remember when
00:43:39
you were in The Beetles yeah that was cool you know the bisl was remember when you said the love you take is equal to
00:43:46
the love you make and Paul goes yeah and he goes is that true it's the biggest laugh and Paul
00:43:53
goes well I mean i' like to think so he goes yeah that was awesome that was awesome that
00:44:02
was wait tell me now now let me tell tell me your since you asked me what's yours what's the one you talked the
00:44:09
least David besides this one well the guest has never talk the most so we Dane and I talk the whole time yeah that's
00:44:18
kind of like us I mean but with three people how do you do that it's hard enough with two well three with three
00:44:24
hosts um there's a rhythm we've been friends for over 20 years 25 who drives
00:44:30
it it's all I don't know it's always different it depends whose guest it is
00:44:35
you know so like like you feel the responsibility of driving it if it's your guest which is a fun respons
00:44:40
because you get you did the research and you look at all you know all this stuff
00:44:43
and so um I I enjoy I enjoy it I also enjoy getting the [ __ ] beat out of me like I love it it's so is that one of
00:44:51
the hooks that people like is that you guys all give each other [ __ ] I guess I
00:44:55
I guess so uh I mean why do they like it that's what I'm asking well by the way we go to the
00:45:01
phones we wonder the same thing it's because they know you're really good
00:45:06
friends I guess so and that's what that's what it says but sometimes Jason
00:45:12
baitman will come up with such interesting questions I almost I almost don't really need I don't need anything
00:45:19
else to be said because his questions are really sophisticated yeah yeah and then um you're like more you come from
00:45:27
the just the I'm a fan you're a fan and you're spontaneous you're like the
00:45:32
wallpaper and they you're a good laugher you're you're a so I am like the
00:45:41
wallpaper we don't know what they're paying you Sean but we'd like to try to
00:45:46
see if we could sort of tease you over to fly on the wall we'll match it yeah I
00:45:52
I I enjoy it turns out this is the dumbest thing I've ever said in my life I enjoy
00:45:57
comedy y I mean I really do but it is true I mean I like funny fast people you know like people who are fast will is
00:46:05
fun um I saw Jason the other night and I saw you across the room but you were literally like 10 feet away and there's
00:46:10
no way to get to you could could you take I saw Jason he's got he's skinnier and he's got a
00:46:17
beard now he looks cool as [ __ ] yeah he's the best he because he's doing a
00:46:20
show that he's about to film yeah yeah he looked cool uh I think you're over
00:46:24
there with maybe Justin thorough is that possible yeah at the Vanity Fair party yeah yeah yeah oh I didn't see you there
00:46:30
yeah you saw me and looked through me but that's fine so what happened was that's what wallpaper does
00:46:38
no you you were I'm like who's that is that new wallpaper and then and I and I
00:46:44
walked through you and you were a ghost which was were you with Arnette yeah we all went together me Jason and we went
00:46:50
together oh gross you guys all travel together how you hang out together I mean it'll blow your mind
00:46:59
of a Kind let me ask you a question about CU it's pretty uh like Jason you know does Ozarks and yeah well it's it's
00:47:10
one PL it's singular Ozark and he's done with it but o and he did the Ozarks
00:47:14
which is gonna be the prequel sorry we talk it doesn't matter anyway I there
00:47:21
was a cat it was in a bag now it's out of the bag news flash but he may I mean
00:47:26
it's it's kind of interesting like so you guys all have production companies
00:47:30
which just one observation yeah so you all started to take Show Business by the Reigns well you can start one too every
00:47:38
um people advise us not to they just they don't think they said we feel like
00:47:44
the fun ends here yeah and the creativity ends kind of like the tram ride at Universal yeah they go everybody
00:47:51
off Dana and Spade off we always say it's like it's it's as surprising to us as it is to you that
00:48:03
like people even listen because we're just loser doing like exactly what we're
00:48:07
doing right now with you guys it's like we just can't believe people find it
00:48:11
interesting enough to to hang in there and and we're so grateful for that too I
00:48:15
mean and it is kind of fun it is fun to do oh my God it and and as to your question Dan about like schedules and
00:48:21
stuff and lining the three of us up we've been hanging out already for decades so it's like it's easy and and
00:48:26
we used it as an excuse to see each other to start the podcast like why don't we just start one just because of
00:48:31
just cuz CU it's excuse to see each other while we're in lockdown and uh we
00:48:37
did like two episodes then we did six then we did 10 then we did 20 and then here we are you know um but and was fun
00:48:44
it it's continues to be the Time of Our Lives I mean you're smart because you
00:48:48
know how to do that I wouldn't I mean I did a lot of zooms with friends like the
00:48:51
exact same thing but it never crossed anyone's mind like how would we beam this out or I mean that just somebody
00:48:58
has to know something yeah I mean how did you start this one I mean you right same like hey let's do well we knew how
00:49:05
we knew what that they were out there like you were doing it which was smart when there weren't that many and so you
00:49:12
were just like hey how does that work someone figures it out and there's not
00:49:16
it's kind of like the internet right it's like hey how does this work this is
00:49:19
kind of fun you know that's all yeah yeah it worked and there's a lot that
00:49:23
don't work so it's great that you got one that works well thank you the only I
00:49:27
can think is that it's sort of an art form with a small a where the consumer
00:49:33
of the art form with a small a is doing something else while they're consuming
00:49:38
what we're doing predominantly a lot of people are driving or gardening or at
00:49:43
the gym but don't they but don't people watch shows like that now and on their
00:49:48
taet everybody's doing something multitasking isn't that that's why I saw
00:49:55
Dune in a movie theater Stadium theater and it it was incredible and it's just
00:50:01
all this big sound and I had to turn my phone off it's only there and in church
00:50:06
phone goes off and that was revolutionary because you could be watching a really cool movie yeah and
00:50:11
then someone bringing and like if you watch at home I found if I watch a movie at home I will look at my phone and it's
00:50:17
horrible yeah same same because you're not at the movie theater where it's not
00:50:20
like this is your one thing yeah so at home you're kind of like well I can always let me get some to eat what did
00:50:25
you think of doing and you think of Dune too how you doing well Dune how you doing would I'll do it as G with Dune
00:50:34
because that's a good word for G I saw Dune they would make it sexual or something the first dune was a little
00:50:42
convoluted for me yeah I went to Dune 2 and it was in the genre of science fiction fantasy it's one of the best
00:50:51
movies ever made I I 100% agree by the way same director as a rival oh really so it it just works on so many levels
00:51:02
and it's it's Fantastical the effects the sound I don't know I was I've
00:51:07
already I've already seen it twice it's good then Josh Brolin comes in like
00:51:11
halfway through and he's great he's such a stud and then he is best Zena's great
00:51:17
the kid was great I mean that for such a big movie The Kid hey Timothy shalom what's up he is he's kind of he's
00:51:25
younger than me for sure listen the director's like director's like hey can you bring the kid around
00:51:32
let me knock on his trailer did they put an effect on Timothy's voice when he
00:51:36
would he would get mad's speaking whatever L how about when you're right how about
00:51:45
when they would like him and his mom would yeah have that kind of power where they can uh Jedi Master somebody's mind
00:51:53
you know and they like um open the door and You' be like what and she'd like
00:52:00
don't touch his arm P kill him and you're like wait what's happening it was
00:52:05
crazy yeah I know it's just well done David that'd be a great movie for you to
00:52:10
watch in a theater go to the saw I saw it what I'm say you can chime in I like
00:52:16
this they're so scared of the sand snakes then at the end it's like HR puff
00:52:19
and stuff and they're like hey we're all flying around on sand snake well I love
00:52:24
they're they're they're two miles long and you've got two two ice picks and and
00:52:30
then you stand on this thing that's 2 miles long and command it that's a
00:52:35
really low IQ I gold the the brain capacity of this thing it's as big as an aircraft
00:52:42
character but it's pretty pretty cool didn't it kind of want to ride one
00:52:46
didn't it hop on yeah I'm getting one Universal Studios has already got them
00:52:52
made they just haven't got all the electronics figured out but you'll get
00:52:55
on it and were you around for the first dune Sean we're going to let you go but
00:53:00
were you around for the first dune which was Sting was I never saw it Scotty saw
00:53:04
it and he he was you know he likes it for nostalgic reasons but he said this these are far Dana you must have seen it
00:53:09
I saw sting wor basically a diaper in Dune in 1982 I remember that image though yeah just a white
00:53:18
diaper I do g j incredibly T that's the only one so far G gay jokes are you encourage them I encourage them I I had
00:53:31
one I had two that I stopped doing should I I stopped doing them because I just thought no I think if you make them
00:53:38
like to me we're all friends and well and Jason are two my closest friends it
00:53:42
means you're just close like yeah I can make fun of your hair your car whatever off limits well it also I
00:53:52
little bit and we yeah when someone is comfortable with certain types of jokes whether they be racial or whatever and
00:54:00
usually it means they're they're the opposite of of someone who's racist I
00:54:06
they're just like because it's so ridiculous they don't or or gay jokes
00:54:09
are so ridiculous stereotype that that if they're easy with it because it's
00:54:14
ridiculous yeah hope this is coming off right or we could this screen this screen could go to no because you're
00:54:20
talking to a gay person I just think it's all it depends on is the messenger
00:54:23
who's telling the joke and and how is it intend that's right also who's not turned on by
00:54:29
staying in a diaper I am I mean that's that's the funny thing is that's what I
00:54:34
think you'd like I go we'd like that right but but I don't know if this is
00:54:38
Hollywood folklore but he made a doooo in the diaper and they said we got to change it and he go d That's
00:54:44
not that is not my diaper my dooo I'm going full circle back to I that's not
00:54:51
my diaper somebody somebody comes in here somebody comes in here poops in my diaper and then
00:54:56
I know who it is but that's what they've been doing for years yes I'll be
00:55:01
watching you Every Breath You Take hey you could do a song with that thank you try Night Never
00:55:11
another wow get that guy on Broadway anyway he could sing he can dance he can do comedy what can he do he could do a
00:55:19
sub assult that could play how about this a question for you you've done it all is there a movie fantasy for you a
00:55:27
role would you like to put Prosthetics on and be like Gary Oldman yes oh yeah I like I mean it's kind of like sketch
00:55:35
comedy it's kind of like character actors like Philip SE Hoffman Merill Streep those kind of people who can kind
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of transform into people I love that stuff I love trying I might fail miserably but I like trying at least I
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think it's fun right well you're doing good thanks you guys I love you both
00:55:52
very SE Sean Hayes has been our guest and let me tell you nobody's funnier than this guy he's the top of the box
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marless everywhere you find your podcast but they don't need my help they're up
00:56:03
in chops nobody beats Joe Rogan but they give him a run for his money call your daddy I wish I could okay thank you Sean
00:56:17
thanks you guys see Budd love you that was great love you this has been a presentation of
00:56:24
Odyssey please follow us subscribe leave a like a review all the stuff smash that
00:56:29
button whatever it is wherever you get your podcast fly on the wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and
00:56:35
David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Charlie finan of brillstein entertainment and Heather Santoro the
00:56:41
show's lead producer is Greg Hol