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Al Franken is our guest on this. Al Franken. Yep. Al Franken is coming up. I mean, we uh we worked with him on SNL for seven
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years and um it's uh it's always fun. He wrote with you a lot though on political stuff. Yeah. Yeah. He was always very political
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before he became a senator and it was useful to have him around and me and him and Jim Downey would hatch out those uh
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not you know hatch those out also Franken and Davis the comedy team and they were
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in uh maybe Trading Places was it? They were in a lot of things and they uh they were there from the beginning you
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know they we you know with the 70s they knew all about Yeah. knew all about those Acroyd and
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all those guys. So, it's a really fun interview. He's an interesting guy and we've known him a long, long time. So,
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here you go. He was he was the headwriter when I was there along with Downey and Michael. Al Franken.
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Al Franken, everybody. [Music] Is that Putin? Putin, but I wouldn't do it if I were you. I just think we can come down. Oh, I got to do a podcast. Okay. Fly on the
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wall. I got it. I got it. Fly on the wall. Putin called Al to say, "How do I get SNL not to make fun of
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me?" We were going to call our podcast the Al Franken Show, but I said, "But why? He's
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only going to be on once." And they said, "Okay." But me, Al Franken. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, you're
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listening to Flat the Wall with our very special guest, SNL legend and Senator Al
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Franken. Thanks for inviting me. Of course. Well, there's so many things in your career that we are looking at to
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talk about. Your new nickname is the Touchstone. I did Saturday Night Live. You know,
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I do know that is a big chunk of it. Yeah, we want to go with a deep dive. Our our
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other name for the podcast is the hot seat. So, welcome, Senator. We really grill them. Yeah, I I've heard you grill. We love our movie.
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We're the wor We're the worst two hosts. I think we've been voted. But that's okay. That's okay.
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We're terrible, but we know it. Which is kind of helpful if we That's the charm.
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That's the charm of you guys. That's what people love about you. Yeah. I didn't go to interview school,
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right? They say you have no qualifications. We're like, well, who? You don't need them. It's a podcast. You don't need anything. You have a chemistry between you.
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Yeah. That is that a little Ed win? an obvious friendship and affection for each other
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and very funny each of you and both together. I don't know what I'm doing. I No, I it's not Steuart Smallley, but it's some other kind of character that's
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sort of sweet and it's I'm on the upper west side of New York right now. I think I'm just channeling last person I ran into. Sweet
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sweetness. There's something about you know Al got Dana Al is very smart. Went to Harvard. He also got a 800 on
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the math section of the SAT. I don't think that's out of Al did not get a 800 on his math.
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You know, uh my my mom said that on a ra I I I once did a radio interview in Minneapolis and my mom uh her apartment had burned down
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and so she had to come with me. I was pro promoting a book and so we're doing a radio interview and I said, "Okay, mom, you're not being interviewed." We're like in the green room. Then I had
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to go to the bathroom and then I come back and I go, "Where's my mom?" And she's being interviewed and she's
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going, "Allan got an 800 unassessed." Within 20 seconds, she pulled that out. Within 20 seconds. Yeah. Wow. But Okay. So, seriously. So, you're a math wiz or a brainiac? I mean, what
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is that about? No, I was just good at math and up to a point. I mean, I I was just I peaked at
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um you know, algebra 2. I mean, I was not I I took calculus freshman year and I went, what I I have no idea what this is useful for and I don't like it. And
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and then I became a comedian. I have to say I was good at math, Al. And when I went, one of those didn't
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click with me. And I think people that are good at all math is very interesting because it was like algebra, geometry, and then one of them I stopped at and
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said, "I don't get it at all." And then they go, "Well, then you're dumb." And I go, "Well, that doesn't Anyway, Al was
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in the Minnesota comedy sketch scene back. Was that a big scene back? It says that's where you start." I don't know where you got that thing. I There was a thing called Dudley Riggs Brave New Workshop which was like third
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city. It was like SC. In fact, Dell Close taught Tom was in Tom was in their troop. Tom was in and I'll give you an example of, you know, Tom Davis and I uh Ben
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high school and we started performing together at this theater in we went to like an open weren't mics. It was a
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little theater and um we we were able to get on and and the the owner liked us and we were able to do shows there and Tom I went off to college and Tom became
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a member of the troop and got the training the improv training and anyone who's interested in comedy I would get
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do that because I'll give you one example where it really came in handy remember Julia Child bleeding to death
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that Danny Y okay So, uh, Tom and I wrote that and we're looking for an end. And in improv,
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you're taught to look for objects because you're out there on the stage with nothing and you're improvising. And
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one of the techniques is to find objects. And at the end, we were looking for a blow for the scene and Tom said
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the phone. You know, there's there's the kitchen phone. And so, you know, Danny as Julia Child is going like, "Um, hold the phone." And in an emergency, call
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911. And and and Danny picks it up and starts to dial. He goes, "It's a prop phone." And throws it down and then dies essentially. And that was like, you know, it was
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really, you know, Tom and I as a team each kind of complimented each other in certain ways. That was one of the ways he did. people who are listening are to your to
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to this broadcast uh podcast are really interested in comedy and and young people ask me all the time should I do improv classes and I go yeah yeah yeah
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and we always say get a get in a kind of a biker bar and try to do five minutes that's that's the path you know standup is a lot biker bar
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whoop you know that was one the best sketches ever. That was one of the top top me most memorable sketches. Just Well, that was one that peaked on air.
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You know how you know how you knew you had something and you were just going like, "Oh, please peek on air. Please."
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And we that was one of the You guys will attest to this. If something worked in dress, it was in
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air, right? Mhm. Mhm. And that worked in dress and it was Walter Matau was the host, but we didn't
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have the blood quite right. And we held it because we didn't have the blood quite right. It still kind of killed, but And here's the thing is that that it
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was an insecticide sprayer underneath the counter and the special effects guy was running it. And because Tom and I had written it and we went to
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the special effects guy and said, "Can Tom run this these?" Right? Cuz it's like part of the joke. You got to get it right. and and the guy, you know, he it's a union job. They
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could have said no, but but they love love Tom. And so Tom did it. So Tom and Danny time those spurts and and that's, you know, and then, you
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know, it was one of those things where you're going like, "Oh, please get it all on on on air." And it does and you
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go, "Yay, yay." Wow. So you actually platformed it and then said, "Let's wait until we get the blood spurt thing." Yeah. That's was really rare, right?
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Yeah. Oh, yeah. If it would work no matter what, but you it wasn't, you know, but that just adds to it so
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much to make those things work perfect. It's so much part of the joke and then it goes boom boom boom boom and that's he's saying something funny. The blood
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comes out perfectly and it just builds builds builds. Yeah. And you know what that feels like
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uh when it just works on all cylinders. You know what it feels like when it peaks at dress too? That's a sickening
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feel. And there was there were years where we did not tape dress. Oh, really? So you didn't have a fail safe then? Well, for the West Coast for the repeats
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sometimes and and now they do, of course. And so, you know, Al, when we were there, let's say 91 to
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96 was uh I I mean, I think we did tape dress. I never really saw them. I never really They didn't really do anything with them, but maybe they did tape them. I don't remember. No, I think I think
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certainly in the repeats I don't think they change it for the West Coast unless something I think they do that now though. They
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say uh we'll they'll see it in the West Coast the better one. Like wow. Wow. Yeah. And that's what a luxury. God
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I know. I know. Al, can I ask for a second about you and Tom because u it's always interesting uh
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origin meetings and how how you guys were partners in crime for so long. Like do you remember like it was eighth grade PE or did you connect with them right away or do you have any kind of McCartney Lenesque thing because you
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guys obviously connected 10th grade sophomore and I changed schools. I uh went to the
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public school system till 10th grade and then my it I don't need to go why I went
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to this all boys private school but it it ruined my life but anyway it involves it involves let's just say involves shoplifting. Yeah.
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And so and then we we would have chapel in the morning. It was like this school uh founded at the turn of the 20th century for a school for Protestant boys
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and they started letting Jews in in the 50s to get the SAT scores up and so um okay let that just lay there for a second. Well, yes, that that's actually truer
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than you can possibly match. But Sure. So, uh I get there and Tom makes an announcement there. So, so the reason I said that about the religion was that we had chapel in the morning.
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Mhm. And they had a big pipe organ. You sang, you know, these hymns and uh Christian songs. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And and when I the first week I got there, I just didn't sing
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them. And my math teacher asked me to stay after uh after class and he said to me, "Uh, Mr. Franken, you want to go to a good college, right?" And I said, "Yeah." He said, 'Well, uh, you're going
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to need good math scores for that, right? I said, 'Yeah, I'd sing the hymns. Jeez, blackmail. Do you? And then I sang the hymns, and I loved singing him, you know, a mighty fortress
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is our God, you know that. Oh, yeah. Did you ever sing Onward Christian Soldiers? That was kind of
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catchy on the word Christian. Yeah, there some great and I didn't mind. I didn't care. But anyway, so so
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after the hymns and some you know uh faculty would there'd be announcements and Tom was really funny and he would organizations would send him up to do
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announcements. So like the first week of school I went up to him I said you're really funny and then we started doing
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stuff together. We started doing announcements for the, you know, meeting of the chess club or something and uh we
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did all kinds of of just we did carac we did just, you know, all they let they let you do it, huh? They let you kind of screw around. They loved us doing that. I mean, it was
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fun and we it was where we really started in chapel. Could you there's been people mentioning uh you know 75 to 80 and specifically Jim Belalushi
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and I I just want to get your take John sorry Jim oh Jim Jim mentions it. Yeah. Yeah. But
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uh John, sorry. Sorry, Jim. I apologize. U John Belalushi uh apparently was uh sort of an intimidating figure or he became one. But anyway, our friend Jim Downey talked to it. And I'd like to
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hear your take on, you know, season 3 uh and what was going on with with John, you know. Well, yeah, I heard Downy's interview with you and it was great. I'd recommend
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that to anyone. and he mentioned a time that I think he was referencing then this is my memory of it um one of the Charlie's Angels Kate Jack was um
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who Jacqueline Farah or Kate Jackson I think Kate Jackson was the host and um I only referenced that was I remember that was it and he was very bad off then
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in terms of drugs and so he is terrible in dress So, uh, Jim and I had written a
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sketch and I said, "We got to just go and talk to him." So, and Jim was intimidated at the time more and I just knew Belushi from the the
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get-go and I just knew that he could be intimidating, but he wasn't going to do anything. So, I we knock to the state wrestling champ, but go ahead. We'll talk about that later.
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Well, I was hardly that. But so anyway, we go in and I go, "John, um, you know, let's run lines on this sketch cuz frankly, you were pretty bad in it and
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didn't know the lines." And he just goes like, "Get out of here." He makes a fist and and down, you know, and I'm going
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like, "No, no, I I'll tell you what, John. we'll just read them to you so that they'll sound familiar when they're coming out of your mouth.
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And and that's what we did. We just read him the sketch over and over again. And he
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was marginally better. You know, this is kind of his worst point. Um and but I never saw him actually do anything other than uh you know physically to
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intimidate anyone or other than his bearing and he he wasn't you know he wasn't great to the women in terms of that showing respect and
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the women writers and stuff. So yeah it but god damn he was funny. Yeah a brilliant comedian. I you what I I'm just sort of curious like what were
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the things he was taking and how did it affect his performance? Was he taking cocaine where he'd speed up or was he
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drinking so he'd slow down or do you I think it was mainly cocaine at that time. You know, it's funny when I first
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ran for the Senate uh one of the first interviews I had, I thought SNL was going to really help me. I thought I thought this is a feather in
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my cap. Everyone loves SNL. Yeah, they did bring up a lot of your sketches, didn't they? Go ahead. Yeah.
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So, my first interview is or one of my first interviews and the reporter says, "Uh, yeah. When you were at Saturday Night Live, did you ever do cocaine?" And I say, "Hm,
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what's that?" Yes. Yes. But, and then I say, "But I only did a little so that I could stay awake late enough to make sure that
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Belushi didn't do too much." Good line. A good one. And which was a joke and most people
00:16:24
recognize as a joke, but the media, I've learned, had a vested interest in not getting jokes. So the guy kind of wrote it up as Al Franken conceded that he used cocaine while at Saturday Night
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Live breaking news but said that he only did a little so that he could stay awake late enough to make sure that John
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Belalushi didn't do too much. Belushi later died of a drug overdose. Yeah. Connect the dots. Yeah. Yeah. And so anything I ever did
00:16:59
um Oh my god. I think of there was one line in a great sketch comedy Killers. I don't Were you guys around for this? I think I was. It sounds like something. Okay. Comedy Killers was a Jeopardy like
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game, but the premise was and Downey and I wrote this and I'm sure and other people kicked in. You know, it was one
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of those things where people kicked in at the table. So it was just the categories were like cancer,
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the Holocaust, you know, Kennedy's, you know, that kind of thing. And so there's
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one joke and Rosie Schuster wrote this joke. So this might have been earlier than why or maybe she was
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Lauren Michael's ex wife. Yeah, it was. Yes. Yes. And the it was Jeopardy like so um this would have been a bad Hanukkah gift for Anne Frank.
00:17:51
And then what was a drum set? Yeah, that was and so I later told that joke like I'm telling it now. And so that gets like Al
00:18:04
Franken told jokes about the Holocaust. Yeah. this. He's coked out of his mind and he
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doesn't care about the Holocaust. Frank out of his mind. I like that. Yeah. So, in one of his cocaine frenzies, yes, the Holocaust Joker, Cokehead, also
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said, you know, apparently, I don't know about you, I don't know if I want this guy running the He feels cocaine and the Holocaust are a
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joke. What else does he reminds me of those political ads we used to Yeah, that's what those are the best. Go ahead, Al.
00:18:42
Yeah. So funny. [Music] I I had a u kind of a gap girls. It's it's all right. Story, but it's really just about the Gap girls set and uh Paul McCartney. So
00:19:01
I love I I think I remember this. Okay. Okay. Well, Paul McCartney. Okay. As well, for your listeners, what
00:19:10
the first thing that was rehearsed on Thursdays, we shot promos maybe first, but the second thing maybe the first
00:19:16
thing rehearsed was the music because the music set was the music set and was there. So, you didn't have to bring in a
00:19:21
new set. So, when Paul McCartney came to play, everybody at 30 Rock knew he was the
00:19:28
guest and knew when the music rehearsal was. So 8H was was filled with with people for the rehearsal and Lauren goes up and um asks Paul, I'm there right
00:19:41
there, you know, and he's going up to Paul and he says, "Could you do Hey Jude? How would how would Warren say
00:19:46
that?" Um Could you uh possibly find your way to Hey Jude? It's It's just It's just like like a really really really big hit. Yeah.
00:20:00
I think find your way to Hey Jude would be exactly right. So Paul goes like, "Well, we're not really playing at this tour, so uh we don't I don't know if we really know it." And I go, "Hey Jude," and he goes, "No, no,
00:20:14
no, no." And because the lyrics are so like this, you know, confusing. D, but I think Paul was actually I think they were doing that tour. So they be he
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goes to the band then he comes back he says yeah. So they play Hey Jude in the studio full of people there and
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everybody is so blown away and moved and I'm like crying cuz this was you know I was like 16 when Hey Jude came out and it was that it
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just meant so much and that and I'm literally where's my life gone? I remember being sitting in the car, not
00:20:52
you know if Hey Jude was on I just if I arrived at my place I waited till the end of Hey Jude
00:20:58
and I'm just so moved. Okay, they're doing a gap girls. Catch that. Okay, now Gap Girls is going to enter the story. Okay, great. Yes. So uh we're now we're uh on
00:21:11
Saturday and during meal break they uh they have the music rehearsal. So, I go, of course, cuz it's going to play Hey Jude, and I go on the floor, and I notice while they're playing Hey Jude that the gap there's a guard on the Gap
00:21:26
Girl sketch guarding the clothes. Yeah. Cuz there's so the clothes on the gap girls gap girl sketch was so I guess valuable enough to have a guard there.
00:21:37
So, but I see that the guard is so transfixed with Hey, Jude that. And I need some jeans.
00:21:44
And you need some jeans. Okay, got it. And I need some jeans. So I watched during dress. He's still during air. I
00:21:52
took two pair of 3630s. 3630. 3630. Yeah, that's what I was at the time. 3630s. I'm I'm short. And
00:22:04
Well, you have gigantic uh legs. Remember the night? Yeah. You and Farley would sometimes in a fun way wrestle at
00:22:10
least one night. I remember you guys. It was like Godzilla versus King Kong. Yeah. And I didn't really know that I
00:22:17
was a a wrestler, but your build is very powerful. And Farley was, you know, and it was like Goliath colliding. Who
00:22:24
actually won that wrestling match in the middle of the night on on 17 foot? Well, I think it was just uh a kind of a man affection thing. Yeah, you guys were playful when you did
00:22:36
it. Obviously, everyone was turned on. All the writers also, especially the women. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, you know, actually Dana, back
00:22:47
to that the gap set, they donated a corner, you know, like the set all from the gap and it was all real. So, they sent their own security saying we we have to make sure this comes back in one
00:22:58
piece. Okay. And, uh, that's what happened. So, uh, I remember cuz they told me they go, they
00:23:03
got, don't worry, all the gap stuff, all the cable crews, everything's going to be still there on Saturday. No one's
00:23:08
going to be able to pinch. And then, uh, I did. I yeah I think maybe you had told
00:23:13
me that. It's a great story. I actually went to the propmaster and said I took two jeans just and he said
00:23:19
full disclosure. Have you guys just threw out any kind of career uh appearance on a TV show or whatever and
00:23:25
then there's wardrobe left over and there's something that you really like and then you sort of ask casually, could
00:23:31
I kind of keep this jacket? And it's really fun when they say yes, even though it might only be a $20 jacket.
00:23:37
Something about free stuff on a set or a TV show. Well, um I never acted in a movie and like you guys have Steuart Smallley. Well, I did. I did, but why would I keep
00:23:48
Steuart Smallley's clothes? Yeah. Okay. Trading Places. I got his sweater was what I was
00:23:54
going to say. Well, I was porter I was stone porter number one and Tom was stone porter number two.
00:23:59
Did you write trading places? No, no, no. We were just given this little part and was stone porter number
00:24:04
one and stone porter number two. when we smoke a joint in it and they they took that away cuz cuz Eddie smokes a joint
00:24:10
and remember in the bathroom though we were playing Stone but we were no one had seen us in the movie smoke a
00:24:17
joint so we were kind of dimwitted or did you actually do like a stoner dude voice? Did you do like a character? Yeah, we're kind of like uh yeah like that.
00:24:31
Um, okay. We thought that was motivated by them having seen us smoke pot, but it was
00:24:37
fine. It was fine. So, Al, you kind of have a reputation like you do risky stuff. And I I just
00:24:44
want to start with this one. Okay. And I don't know if this is true, but it's 1980, Lauren's going to leave
00:24:51
and you were potentially one of the error parents to then take over SNL and be the executive producer. Is that
00:24:59
possibly true? But you wrote a sketch about Fred Silverman, the then head of NBC, or he was
00:25:04
That was stupid. Is that Is that true in hindsight? That was not biting the hand that feeds. Did that I mean, what what was that? I mean, look, my life is unfolded the
00:25:16
way it's unfolded. So, okay. But that was stupid. I Yeah, I I would didn't think that necessarily that that was going to happen anyway. And I was
00:25:27
kind of up for leaving myself also. So I just did limo for the limo and it was just about how um you know like I I didn't get a limo.
00:25:41
I see even Garrett gets a limo and or something like that and but I don't get one and but Fred Silverman gets a limo and then I we were NBC was tanking at the time
00:25:53
and I would couple like one of the executives attached to the show begged me not to do it and and we had the ethic
00:26:01
that if it's funny we do it right that was kind of it and uh so did it hurt do in any way, then you're going to leave the show. Only in the sense that Fred Silverman
00:26:15
has hated me ever since and that he was the head of the network. But no, but Al, what about when you I just watched this whole update bit you did about you came back and I guess it was
00:26:28
Gene Demanian had come and and gone within six months and you did a whole update piece. Was Chvy the host? Is that
00:26:33
why he was there? Oh, he must have been. I think it was like an interim thing where who came back with Eversol I think then yeah you were sort of making fun of him
00:26:44
too and I was kind of making Yeah I was ballsy bit yeah I was saying kill the show or
00:26:50
something like that and and then but then writer strike happened right after that and um yeah
00:26:57
but you always did edgy stuff didn't you uh this is jumping ahead for a second but just to your uh not censoring
00:27:03
yourself didn't you suggest that George Steinbrunner billionaire owner of the New York Yankees who was the host that
00:27:09
somehow he would be in all fours with a dog collar and there'd be No, no, I had him play I wrote a sketch where he's playing Pey
00:27:20
who is kind of um like wears a beanie and shorts. Yeah. And it's just and everyone just say like Petey you're so stupid Petey
00:27:33
and he would just it was all clearly just a pretext to say a hor you know just say stuff to George Steiner like that and he wouldn't do Pey
00:27:47
he wouldn't is that the one where Odenkirk and Conan were supposed to go try to keep talking him into doing a sketch or something?
00:27:53
No, this was uh I don't think so. I I did Petey and I just thought it'd be very funny. He had like a beanie with like a twirling thing on the top. On the
00:28:04
top. Yeah. And he was just Well, I think we made him get on all fours in the sketch. That's what I remember going.
00:28:10
We kicked him in the ass. That's right. I think that was I think that's Yeah. You got him on all fours, kicked him in the ass. And were you shocked when he turned down the
00:28:16
sketch? Well, yeah. I mean, uh he was kind of weird. I don't know if he he was the kind of guy he did a decent job. We wrote a sketch for uh him and Nean and Jan and Victoria
00:28:30
where it was just George is Nean's boss and the two couples are going out to dinner and Nean offers to pick up the
00:28:42
check and George says, "No, come on. I'm your boss." Or, "No, no, no. You always
00:28:47
picked it up. I'm going to pick it up." And no, I'm your boss. I'm taking the check. And I know I'm taking the check.
00:28:54
And he and then he takes it and goes, "Well, that was pretty easy." And then he goes, "Okay, I'm I'm taking it. I'm taking it." And then it just escalates. Yeah. Yeah. He was kind of goes, "No."
00:29:06
You know, it was one of those. And and Steinbrer was very good in it. I just remember him going around uh 8H
00:29:12
asking people where they went to college and like, you know, Penn State. Oh, good school. You know, Cambridge, oh, nice school. And then he came to me and goes,
00:29:19
"Where'd you go to college?" I said San Francisco State. His face went blank and he just turned and walked away from me.
00:29:26
Really? Why? Well, San Francisco State. I guess it wasn't a a sexy college. God, that makes me think George Steinbrer is a dick or a guy who just loves higher
00:29:37
education, you know? I mean, I I just it was just a funny school that I went to. Now,
00:29:42
State is a fine school. There are stories that you always feel like everyone's heard, but I I don't really
00:29:49
know the George Harrison legend legendary visit. I'll give you a choice. Either that or talk about the uh the character, the brain tumor comedian.
00:29:59
Okay. Um I'll I'll do Harrison real quick. Um both. Yeah. So, this was an epic thing. I missed it, but he comes to SNL in what year? Like 90 whatever. I
00:30:13
probably not 90 I would have been there 89 88 something like that. Conan is there cuz I discussed this with Conan and basically George Harrison is uh
00:30:25
shows up at uh on the 17th floor. He and Lauren are going out to dinner. Okay. Oh, George Harrison's here. George Harrison is here. They're going out to dinner. He come they come back a few hours later
00:30:38
and he is just drunk. And so now it's like 10:30, 11. I love it. And as you know, this is Tuesday night. This is Tuesday night. And that's when show gets written. And this year I was
00:30:52
one of the producers or and uh he starts to play the piano. Fun. A gift. In the readrough room and everyone just
00:31:05
is like gathered around and George Harrison's playing the piano. a Beatles playing the piano and it's going on and on and on and I'm going like, "The show
00:31:16
is not going to get written." And so I just go to Phil Hartman. I say, "Phil, uh, watch this." And you remember my desk, my office is
00:31:28
right next to So I go in my office and I just slam my door as hard as I can. I didn't see him because I'm inside, but he evidently
00:31:39
George like jumped like three feet off the piano bench, came down and then left and everybody was just furious at me. And I just said, "Well, we got to write we got to write this show." And of
00:31:51
course, Ru Mlanahan was the host. No. And she and she sat down at the piano and wouldn't stop that piano. So that's that story. Oh, and the brain tumor comedian was uh it's
00:32:05
Tom is so funny in this piece. It's, you know, we would do the Franken and Davis show, which was the show within the
00:32:11
show. And this one is I have a brain tumor and I have this ter this bandage with a big lump discolored lump on it
00:32:19
and and Al's always wanted to do a single and he's this is, you know, he's got a brain tumor. So, you know, you're going to really enjoy this folks. This
00:32:31
is Tom. And then I start uh you know what you know you hear about the rabbi didn't give uh uh you know didn't charge for giving circumcisions. He only took
00:32:43
tips. Woof. And then the next next joke I tell I start the space out. And every joke I always the punch is always he only took tips.
00:32:56
And then Tom behind me would go would like encourage the audience to laugh and and uh it was really funny and Tom was really funny and and of
00:33:08
course we got a few letters. Have you ever watched your um you know wife die of a brain tumor?
00:33:14
Have you ever thought of a sketch out unless where you thought of it and said ah no no too much too too far. I Yes, of course. But I
00:33:24
can't remember any right off the top. Yeah, but I can't remember. It was few and far between. But let's talk about some stuff we did together,
00:33:31
Dana. Um, and I you know, and and Downey, I think I've told you this. Downey had this credo for the for the political material we wrote, which was we Downey
00:33:44
it was a moderate Republican, a very thoughtful uh you know, conservative in the best
00:33:52
sense Republican and I'm obviously a very progressive Democrat. And we felt that it wasn't the job of the show that to we just we felt the job was to do uh
00:34:05
satirical political satire that was well observed but not you know uh biased in one way or another. So and and Downey had this motto which was we're going to
00:34:17
reward people for knowing stuff but not punish them for not knowing stuff. Mhm. So the point was is that you could watch it and not be a political junkie at all,
00:34:28
not follow politics very closely and understand it. But if you were someone who did, there was another layer. And that that's
00:34:35
that's pretty sophisticated stuff. But uh but Downey and I were pretty uh I'm very proud of the stuff I did with Jim. And we did so much with you. And Jim didn't say this when we're
00:34:48
talking about you doing uh the Bush Cold openings, which we use as a crutch. I mean, it was basically we can always do Dana in one on home base and uh and Downy's
00:35:02
right. Sometimes we wrote them on and and they were long. But here's the thing that I tell people
00:35:08
a lot, which is in dress and I we those were well written by and large. Downey kind of said, "Well, sometimes we threw you out there with nothing." I don't, you know, you made a lot out of whatever we gave you.
00:35:21
Yeah. But what would happen is we would send you out there with something actually well,
00:35:28
you know, well thought through. You would get so many laughs at will because you do the you just do your own thing over there doing that doing that
00:35:39
thing. Godamn will get laughs. So, we had to tell you between dress and air a number of times, which I don't think anybody has ever
00:35:51
told a performer, don't get so many laughs because we because you're ruining you're
00:35:58
not following the through line. Mhm. The audiences and they're losing the through line. And you knew exactly what
00:36:06
we were talking about. You knew exactly how to dial it down and you did every [ __ ] time. [ __ ] time you and which was you knew exactly what
00:36:17
you were doing. you had such control and of course you helped write those and added to them and I I also want to tell another story about you which is and I
00:36:30
think I discussed this with you but um in in uh I guess it was when when did Clinton run? 92. Mhm. Uh so Sus was running and Jerry Brown
00:36:43
was running. Yes. And we had a twoe break which was rare and a twoe break and you said to me
00:36:49
you know on as we were about to go on on break said can you work on sus for me you know just on the idea of sus and what to do with them and so I started playing around with his
00:37:02
voice and I nailed I got it really great and then I went to I gave a speech at the Kennedy school you know on political satire and I killed so I come
00:37:14
back and I'm really embarrassed and I say to Dana, "Uh, could I do Sonus?" And you just went, "Yep, I'll do Jerry Brown." Love Jerry Brown. And the thing about you is that you knew
00:37:26
Jerry Brown. Yeah. Part of it is that you went to, you know, lousy San Francisco State and California. But
00:37:34
yeah, Jerry Brown was a great character, but your songist was hysterical. Whatever
00:37:40
your take was, I remember it killing. Well, it was uh, you know, snaggle puss with a uh
00:37:46
with a boss with a Massachusetts accent. Yeah. Snaggle puss. And he really had a voice that odd. I
00:37:51
mean, it wasn't that big a leap. Yeah. Very extreme. I have a question out. When you and Dana
00:37:57
were formulating uh Bush, it was it was right before I got there, but I just watched a Bush
00:38:05
Dukakus early on debate, which I don't even know if it's a cold opening. It was 14 minutes, which is pretty long.
00:38:12
But it was great. It was during the campaign. Hilarious. That was Diane Sawyer discussed with
00:38:17
Downey the line. Mhm. Which was I can't believe I'm losing to this guy. Yes. And yes, I wrote that line, but the line only worked because of this long setup,
00:38:28
right, of Bush rambling. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and it was it was it was Diane Sawyer, Jan Hooks playing a very sultry. So funny. hilarious with and basically
00:38:43
ask him a question and you kind of go, "Well, uh, stay the course. Thousand points of light." Mhm. Stay the course. And then she just went
00:38:55
for the first time in this. She just went, "You still have another minute 45 vice president." And he just saw stay the course. Yeah. And then bring it down. And she does
00:39:07
that back and forth with you like three or four times and finally she goes, "Governor,
00:39:13
and then I can't believe I'm losing this guy." So that was I wrote that line, but
00:39:18
only because of that setup. Set up that line. I think I Oh, yeah. I thought the line off the set and I the whole Loveit nailed that one
00:39:30
by the way. That was He was great in that uh sketch. Love it was great as Dukakus. And I don't know if I've told you this out,
00:39:36
but he on election night when Bush won, Love it called me and essentially conceded. Well, you're going to be doing the president for four years and he the fake Dukakus
00:39:50
conceded to the fake Bush before the real Dukakus conceded to the real Bush. But then I knew I was going to be in the
00:39:56
hot seat and I didn't really have the impression at that point. You didn't quite have it. And we did sit
00:40:02
down and you started developing that. Well, do you remember the exact moment? Because it was just you and me in a room
00:40:08
trying to find it and I just said that doing that thing out there with the finger up lazy finger
00:40:16
doing that thing in that whole area and we both looked at each other and laughed
00:40:21
and that was that was the end. It's very interesting how one little hook and then it went to that.
00:40:27
Well, I remember I you were one of the first guests on my podcast and you said to me cuz I laughed and you said laughter is the oxygen of comedy. Yeah. Yeah.
00:40:38
Oh, definitely. If you have someone laughing and you're riffing then it is the machine keeps going. So, you laugh.
00:40:45
Exactly. And I knew I like okay this is great. And then uh we had Jim Downey u coming
00:40:51
in. And it was like I felt really blessed to have you and Jim Downey working on it. But you seem to be the
00:40:57
primary driver instigator of the subject matter and uh which we talked about, but
00:41:04
it it was interesting that when Bush was riding so high, he was 90% approval after his first two years in in the Gulf
00:41:11
War. All the sketches war. Yeah. Yeah. All all the sketches were about how he was impenetrable. And when I did
00:41:17
it at DC for the Democratic fundraiser, everything was about I'm going to get elected and it was just this super happy
00:41:24
comedian. He was literally at 89%. Yeah. Insane. Well, try to beat. And that's because he let us out of the, you know, Saddam invaded Kuwait.
00:41:34
Mhm. And he put this coalition together. Put the coalition together. Co. Everyone
00:41:39
could do it now. Well, it's the guy. You're just doing the guy who figured it out.
00:41:46
And um and not unlike what Biden is doing now in a way this coalition. We got we got inflation. People can't get the baby formula.
00:41:59
I love yelling Biden. I love I love his yell. It's so funny. Yeah. Yeah. We got to find a way to do it.
00:42:07
You know, one of my favorite hooks that we we started doing this kind of a couple years ago or something. We
00:42:13
started trying to work on Biden and you were Mhm. You were doing it. But one of the hooks I like uh is uh and that's that's no
00:42:22
hyperbole. No. He does that a lot. Yeah. My father lost his job. No joke. That was the first one. No joke. That's right. No joke. Not kidding around here. Come on. Yeah.
00:42:33
Number one. Yeah. What the guy said? Nazis killed six million Jews. No joke. No joke. Not doing
00:42:39
Oh, I thought that was a joke. Okay. That was that was the first hook into him. I in fact is a lot and guess what
00:42:47
you know there's a lot you know it went up I know how to create jobs I know how to create them I know how to be a job creator he goes to the whisper and then he goes back to the yeller but um
00:42:59
there's a lot there for sure [Music] and then we had Perau was dropped into our lap during to just follow that sequence uh
00:43:11
well a member of that I, you know, I just saw Perau. Mhm. And I got a tape and we went in Lauren's
00:43:18
office and showed you Perau. Yeah. And you said, "Oh, there's a three-dimensional
00:43:25
fullyledged character in in there." He is. Yeah. It was like Sarah Palin and and
00:43:30
Ross Perau are sort of bookends of three-dimensional comedically already funny characters that just walked on the
00:43:36
stage. Perau was like next level funny as a character. He was. And then we did a cold opening
00:43:43
and you wrote the very first one and it was a very funny take. Do you remember? Yeah. Yeah. It was Yeah. Basically him saying you don't have to pay me anything. Yeah. Oh yeah.
00:43:54
But if we GP uh gross domestic product goes up 4% I get a billion dollars. It it was like he made that deal and then he called the next, you know, he called on Monday
00:44:08
at 9 a.m. of course and we got in at 200 p.m. and receptionist uh got us on with
00:44:17
him and you and I were on and he was not interested in the writer at all. He was interested in you and
00:44:23
Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Of course. But he was he at least he seemed to have be a good he was a good sport about it.
00:44:29
I mean, he he said, "You know, here's an idea." I think most Yeah, go ahead. Most were this is a great idea. You go
00:44:35
out and campaign as me and I campaign is me. So, there' be two of me campaigning all over the place.
00:44:42
I mean, he just thought that was the That's precisely what he said. Exactly what he said. You don't have to write,
00:44:47
you know, anything with I I know. And uh uh No. And and well, you played both Perau and Bush and uh Lucky Spade got to be
00:44:59
full circle. Yeah. Got to be in the wide shot as as as [ __ ] wide shot production. So David David had to get the hair, the
00:45:11
nose, the ears, the suit, everything to look like pro. I'm so stupid. I didn't even know what was going on. I thought, am I doing
00:45:17
proau? I go, I guess Dana can't. and through the magic of TV and bad luck he could. And uh I do remember seeing Perau on something and obviously I wasn't a political guy and I
00:45:30
was like Al what you were saying is if you're just a casual viewer you get you know I understood the cold opening
00:45:35
stuff. I didn't get the second layer of jokes but I was just I wasn't political so I don't even really wasn't about
00:45:42
Republican Democrat. I was just going is this funny or not whatever and they were always great. Um, and then when Perau
00:45:49
was on something on the weekend like a Meet the Press, I accidentally saw I thought, uh, oh, this look at this
00:45:55
little clown. This is hilarious. And he was he was like, "Someone gets to go do a stand-ups act, you know, cuz he's
00:46:01
already funny." And I go, "So, and he was a little pipsqueak." And I go, "Oh, maybe I could." And that's how out of it
00:46:08
I was by the time I called Smiggle and I just said, "Hey, is there any way he's like we got it covered?" I'm like
00:46:14
I got it down probably even more fun than George Bush Senior at least this phrase. You're not listening. Can I
00:46:21
finish one time? Just that to me that one time. You're not listening. Can I finish one
00:46:26
time or you getting Can I finish Can I finish one time? You're not losing me. Can I finish one time? It's like James Brown or something. Can I finish one time? Hit
00:46:38
me. Yeah. Well, that's the thing is that you you know your impressions are musical in in many ways. Uh it's all chopped. It goes all back to
00:46:50
chopping chop and broccoli. On the first show once I had them she chop she chop. I know. I have no excuse for it except that I think I'm trying to make myself laugh and then it just makes
00:47:02
me laugh. Someone going, "Can any one more time? Are you going to rob me?" So goofy and cartoony. on time.
00:47:10
But he did say something like that. Well, if it's all making yourself laugh, that's all it is. People ask me, "What is your favorite, you know, what's your favorite moment
00:47:22
from Saturday Night Live? 15 seasons you did." And I say that my favorite thing at Saturday night was three in the
00:47:28
morning rolling on the floor laughing with the writers with the cast members just and part of you know Woody Allen once said that writing uh comedy is
00:47:40
either easy or it's impossible. Yeah. When it's easy and it's your frigin job is what you're supposed to do. Yeah. So, this stuff is making you laugh and you
00:47:54
know and it could be Downing on a riff. It could be you coming up with, you know, you and Neilan doing Hans and
00:48:00
Fron. It can be bye-bye. It can be, you know, and you just are going like at that moment of creation that someone's doing something and you just, it's so
00:48:12
funny, but it's the added thing of we just did our job really well. Yeah. So sometimes that rewrite table, it could be 4 in the afternoon or 4 in the morning and if someone cracks the code
00:48:23
on something and everyone starts laughing and then everyone riffs on it, it that's the funnest time cuz everyone's good at the table. So
00:48:29
everyone's throwing in something good from right and left and you go, "Wow, this is really jumped this sketch way
00:48:35
ahead of where it was." David, I saw David Tell the other day or a couple months ago actually at the comedy seller and I just said he was at the table for
00:48:46
a year or something and uh and he do you remember uh the Bobbits, you know, she cut off his penis and that thing and I was doing a Stewart with I guess
00:48:59
Meyers was the guy and uh Rosie O'Donnell was Lorena Bobbit And I I had a line that I didn't have the punch to. I go, "So, how how did it feel or how's
00:49:12
it feel now?" And and tell's line was, "It itches." [Laughter] And boy, it just it when someone does
00:49:25
something like that, you know, it just it's such a gift to have that table. And then sometimes the table is so deadly like at 3 in the morning. Well, I just remember like a lot of
00:49:37
food, like guys around the table and some women of course on 17th floor and I'm thinking it it is kind of like nothing's going on. Like it seems like the deadest space in the world and
00:49:52
there's Chinese food or pizza. Everyone's leaning back on their chair, tapping the pencil, window is cracked one inch because
00:49:58
everyone's dying in there. and you can't believe it's going to be a show. But you told me once out uh you told me
00:50:10
that I peaked at read through, you know, and that really helped me going forward.
00:50:15
Sometimes you try to get it on so hard in your first year that you literally never get back to it. You you've you've
00:50:22
peaked at read through and you definitely don't want to peek at dress unless you're at war to get it on air.
00:50:27
You want to leave a little something. So that that there's a lot of inside baseball about
00:50:32
if you have an insider with Al. If Al's writing with you and you're direct and you're read through, I think it's a
00:50:38
little easier to pull back because he's going to be in the room saying he's going to bring it up. So you at least
00:50:44
have a part. There were years that I was I was in the room and I was interesting to hear
00:50:49
Downey kind of talk about the most fun he had at the show was when he just was writing and not producing. And there was
00:50:56
a little there was a little it it was nice to be able to go in there and express your opinion and on what gets
00:51:05
what gets picked for read through and stuff like that, but it also Yeah, it it uh there's something nice about just
00:51:12
being a writer too and also I was performing every once in a while. Well, as a cast member, you want to hook
00:51:18
up with someone who who has Lauren's ear and Lauren trusts, you know, in the in the room after the read
00:51:24
through. That's always a nice thing to do for people who are just beginning cast members. Little tidbit.
00:51:29
Al, we can't go without talking about Steuart Smallley. I remember the the um Michael Jordan one was probably such a
00:51:35
huge home run. That one's that one. Oh, that was a peak on air. Greatest sketches. Yeah.
00:51:41
Yeah. That was that was, you know, I mean, uh killer. Well, and and he was uh I think he was cracking up or something too much or something in dress and I
00:51:56
just said just dial it, you know, and he understood it. I mean, so here's a guy,
00:52:02
you know, he's a very I Oh, you know when remember when uh Lauren hosted or produced the ESPs? I don't know if you remember, maybe you weren't around for that. So he uh
00:52:14
sponsored produced produced the SPS piece and so I was a presenter and I did this joke and it died and I thought it was a great joke and this was the year they did the second uh three repeat
00:52:28
right the Bulls did. So I went up there and I just said and remember this is a lot of athletes and a lot of people in sports but I just go like you know a lot
00:52:39
of people are saying that Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player who ever lived. Well all I can say is Michael prove it
00:52:53
and it just laid there. It's not the right crowd. They just going he has proven it. Uh,
00:52:59
you know, that was her attitude. Yeah. Where the [ __ ] is this guy? I remember that laying an egg so bad and I went, "Oh, okay. This is not a comedy
00:53:12
crowd." Jordan at Jordan at that show running around was such a big deal. That was so
00:53:17
much fun. Was he kind of the biggest guest in that way? Jordan that when we were there I
00:53:23
think I mean I in a way I mean he's uh I remember that was the first time we were fielding
00:53:31
NBA players in the Olympics and I just said to him so uh how do you think you're going to do and it was like him and magic I mean and
00:53:43
burn you know it was like ridiculous and he said oh and he was so confident and of course they just kill everybody. Yeah. And uh without even trying really
00:53:54
it it was but I I just remember the the the exuding confidence and the uh competitive he had a moment with me. He goes, "Um, do you golf?" I
00:54:07
go, "Well, a little bit here and there." I go, "But I'm I'm lucky to break a hundred, you know." And he paused. He
00:54:12
looked at me and he's towering over me. He goes, "Well, you're not very good, are you?
00:54:21
I thought he was going to say play necessary, Michael. Well, he's famously athletic. Yeah, you don't seem very athletic.
00:54:28
He bets a lot on golf and he bets like each hole and he bets because I golf and I uh I'm not very good either, but uh it
00:54:36
it's it's fun the stories you hear from Caddies and these great golf courses where he comes in and sweeps people and
00:54:42
he loves it. Loves it. He just always looking for some action, which is great. It's it's a cool thing about him. People
00:54:47
love Michael Jordan. Well, I think athletes athletes uh just kind of blow our minds. Old movie stars
00:54:53
when Robert Mitchum came on, Charlton Hston or Wayne Gretzky Wayne Gretzky showed me how to hold a hockey stick.
00:55:00
Wayne Gretzky got on his knees and and laced up my skates and showed me how to do that. So, there's moment Yeah. you're
00:55:07
like, damn. And the musicians as well, you know. Yeah. I I wasn't there for Payton
00:55:12
Manning, but I thought Did you see that show? I wasn't, but I thought he's was hysterical on the show. I saw it.
00:55:18
He was fabulous. Yeah, there were a number of of uh these guys who were just really really good and some of them some of them were lockes
00:55:30
like uh but they were almost funny being lockes. Do you remember a piece we Tom and I
00:55:36
wrote this um trying to figure out who who was there? Which one of you were there? It was Joe Montana and he was
00:55:46
Walter Payton. Uh uh well yeah but on this one Joe Montana who was kind of a locks. Um we
00:55:53
just thinking out lou thinking out loud that one. Yeah. Yeah. It was it was uh it starts
00:55:59
off with uh Phil and Jan and he's trying to get her to stay the night and and it's that cliche of he says something and then you hear what he's thinking. Yeah. M
00:56:12
and then she says something and we played it. Tom and I wrote it so that you thought that was the sketch that
00:56:17
that we thought that was the comedy. Mhm. And if you're watching it, you're going like, "This is kind of lame. This is a
00:56:23
device that people use a lot." And then his roommate comes and Phil's going, "Oh, no." And he says, "This guy, you
00:56:30
know, my roommate is the most honest guy there is." And then at one point he goes, you know, he says, "It's nice to
00:56:36
meet you." And then his thought is, "It's nice to meet her." And And then the last line was, "I'm going to go upstairs and masturbate." And then I'm going to go upstairs and
00:56:48
masturbate was his thought. And my god, it was so funny. And it was funny cuz he was a locks. Well, and he was competitive with
00:57:00
himself. I I was told that he wouldn't come out of his dressing room. It had to at the end of the show. He thought he
00:57:06
didn't do well. That kind of thing. I go, "You're a football player. What are you talking?" But I got to play catch with him. He did fine. There was no way
00:57:14
not to do well as an athlete. Bill Russell did well uh uh did really well. I just I did a I did a roast with Payton and uh
00:57:26
I didn't see his SNL, but I thought it would be fun to have Payton in there and he crushed it. He's crushing, you know,
00:57:32
they wrote him jokes, but he he delivered him. He was great. He got huge laughs, huge applause. He's always he's
00:57:38
got a very light funny thing about him and uh that's why I think he's in all these commercials and does that Manning cast it all works. You know what I've discovered in comedy?
00:57:49
Some people are funny and some people aren't. Is that really in all your days that's
00:57:56
you've come up? But do you guys think like you were there at the 900 of us Dana?
00:58:01
Uh that was you know one of Lauren's great things. There's only about funny people. There's only 900 of us on the
00:58:07
planet. And it was kind of like the perfect number, right? Yes. Since Al, you were there in 75, I just want to ask you this question. Did was anyone cognizant of the idea of taking a
00:58:21
football player or a a dramatic actor or whatever and forcing them to become a live sketch player, the reality show aspect of Saturday Night Live that that
00:58:32
sustains it. Because if you see a football player or a singer trying to do this and they're kind of bad, it's still
00:58:39
compelling, you know. Yeah. Cuz they're Absolutely. You know, the first one we had was Fran Tarkin. There you go. Wow. And that was Franny's idea. That was my
00:58:51
wife's idea because of the namesake a little bit. Fran Tarkin and Franny. And how was it?
00:58:56
He he was very good. Um and it was old Vikings quarterback for the audience. Yeah. Yes. this is this is going back a ways and uh you know he wasn't the
00:59:08
greatest who had ever done it but um he was he was very good and I remember Belushi for that we did a cold opening where Belushi is like a coach we did a football some lot of football themed
00:59:20
thing and Belushi made me go back to his apartment and read to me uh Dick Budkus's autobiography and I had to stay there like all you
00:59:31
know hours while he read this thing. And uh he worshiped Dick Buttus, who was a linebacker for everyone for uh uh the Bears, Chicago Bears. I did a TV show with Dick Buckus and
00:59:44
Bubba Smith called uh it was with James Fentino and it was this helicopter cop show.
00:59:52
Yeah. Airwolf, was it? No, no, it wasn't Airwolf. I can't Blue Thunder. The cop show. Blue Thunder. Yeah, I played the Daniel.
00:59:58
What did you What did you play on it? Well, I take some Just I played the the sidekick in the
01:00:04
back of the chopper with a helmet on. Clinton Wonderlo love. Just another frustrated observer. Like I wanted to be
01:00:11
out. Clinton Wonder Love. That was your dumb. James Fantino would have a styrofoam cup full of vodka and he would smash the
01:00:18
pages of the script on the thing and yell at the crew. It was like Scarface. What year was this? What year was this?
01:00:23
I just stuff in ' 84. I I had no confidence that I could be on Saturday Night Live really. So when people said I luckily got cast and things, I just did them and they were a complete waste of
01:00:35
time and I got fired. Uh but I got into the outfit, went into the fake chopper, they're going around blowing steam at us and then they said, "Dana, come down the ladder in front of the whole crew. They
01:00:46
fired me and I had to do the poop walk and go just in front of everyone." I go to the wardrobe guy, really nice guy, and I go, I I'm a comedian. I'm funny. This is like 84. He put his hand on my
01:01:00
shoulder and said, "Sh, it's okay. It's okay, son." And then he saw me like 8 years later in 93. He goes, "You were
01:01:07
right. What the [ __ ] What were you doing in a helicopter?" I had a very strange route to SNL. I mean, you saw me once, right, Al? You were in 84. I probably bought
01:01:19
I did and I blew it. I blew it. I saw you doing stand up in San Francisco and I probably like that guy is brilliant.
01:01:26
But you know what? You weren't ready. Well, you know, you're ready a year later. I would just say confidence until you're
01:01:33
kind of famous is a wide range of how you'll be on a given night. And if you lose a little bit of confidence, at
01:01:39
least for me, I don't know about Dave Chappelle. You know what I Yeah. Go ahead.
01:01:44
I don't think I was the best judge to do this, you know. Um, uh, I that year that was the year we
01:01:52
came back from being gone, right? That Lauren came back from being gone. Yes. 85. Uh,
01:01:59
you know, we picked we picked Love its year. We got, you know, a few good people, but we I think there were some people that we missed that were really that ended up being real
01:02:12
huge mistakes. It's always easier after the fact to say, "Oh, why didn't you pick that person?" But you, you know, when you see
01:02:18
them, sometimes it's too raw or too rough or they haven't developed and you just it's it's an easier miss.
01:02:23
It's better to wait. You know, there there people sometimes they'll put them on when they're not ready. They're 21 or
01:02:28
22 and not ready. But for me to get on with Phil and Jan frequently do the church chat sketch. Rosie Schuster was the one who was helping me form I had the character but the platform. Then all
01:02:41
these religious scandals happened and you and Al came on and you did Swagger, right? So throughout that first year Pat I think I did Pat Robertson. Robertson and then Phil did Swagger and
01:02:53
then they did Tammy F. So I have this church like JD Glady character. I get fer.
01:02:58
Yeah. And then these scandals start happening and so but that that was that was fun. You doing Pat Robertson like
01:03:04
laughing or crying. I mean but it was a very funny take on Pat Robertson. Pat my Pat Robertson was just very
01:03:10
happy. Yeah. That was that was the key to him. He was just just very joyful. There's there's a woman in Ohio who's just had her diverticulitis
01:03:21
cure. Diverticulitis. Funny words or something like that, you know. But he he was just happy. He was a happy Christian and you started laughing. That was my take on him.
01:03:33
Then Phil was crying and then we closed in on a close-up or something like that and you're just like two idiots not
01:03:40
talking just anyway. And I heard you maybe it was on it was maybe it was with uh with Jim about how they censored churching and
01:03:52
you just became dirtier. Yeah. And it was fine. Couldn't say penis but I could say throbbing uh bulbous organ willing
01:04:00
mallet. Yeah. Naughty parts sweating and grinding. Yeah. So that it was it was became Yeah. It was pornographic to me. I don't know. But that was a Well, all they cared about was is
01:04:12
someone going to complain. Yeah. And they're not they could complain about penis because it's penis, but they're not going to complain about
01:04:19
throbbing throbbing naughty parts. [Music] Remember Andrew Brewer, who was our kind of cool sensor guy, he wrote us after he
01:04:31
wrote into the podcast cuz we've talked about him, but we always say positive things. He's always in like a tough
01:04:36
position and he'd always go, "Guys, come on. You can't do this when you're not saying [ __ ] like that." And I'm like,
01:04:42
"No, we we What do you mean we always play dumb?" What are you talking about? Oh, that's right. You had that very uh indistinct uh Oh, that's right. You remember that?
01:04:54
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was that? Yeah, I still have it between my legs. Um No. Uh it was on Weekend Update and I
01:05:00
I I sort of mumbled the word [ __ ] and uh and Dennis was like, "Spudley, I wouldn't mess this one up. You're going
01:05:07
to be [ __ ] out of here. You're already teetering on a thread." I'm like, "What? Thanks." And then uh and then and and
01:05:13
and so I I said the in-n-out list, you know, I think the out list was going out after the show getting out of fuzzy. Oh yeah, the in was I was saying you're not oh in is uh not
01:05:25
enunciating enough to get caught by the sensors and then the out was going against all fuzzy and then and I walk in
01:05:31
the hallway and Andrew's shaking his head walking me going, "Spade, come here." And I go, "What?" And I know I have no idea what you're
01:05:39
going to ask me. And then he goes, "Come on, dude." And I go, "But it did pretty good address." So he goes, "Come on, you can't. We got we got advertisers saying
01:05:45
we pull out if he does this." And so I do it and then Dennis is right next to me going, "I don't know, Spud." And so I
01:05:52
do it and it gets too big of a laugh and Dennis is like, "It's curtains for you, guy."
01:06:00
Did you want too big a laugh was trouble? Yeah, because it means you said it to everyone understood it. Yeah. Well, I don't know. But uh I I got along really well with with most
01:06:12
of the sensors. Yeah. You know, Clotworthy because I know you mentioned him with Jim. I really like
01:06:17
Bill Clotworthy. He was a nice guy. Yeah. He was a lovely guy and he it's a tough job. He stood by a couple
01:06:24
things I did that um were do you remember um uh first you uh f this NBC reporter wrote a book about her having a mistctomy and it was called first you cry and then I did a sketch when we had
01:06:42
um it was first he cries and it was it was Gilda unfortunately in retrospect has a mistctomy and Bill Murray is her husband and he just um goes, you know,
01:07:00
it starts feeling really sorry for himself because his wife is horrible. The whole point was it was satirical, which is no, a guy doesn't do that. Yeah, right. That is the joke. Yeah.
01:07:13
Yeah, that was the joke. And so and uh be Arthur was her like oncologist and she's basically saying this happens all the time and the fact that he's got a girlfriend now named Bambi as not you
01:07:28
know is to be expected and and Clworthy's wife had had a mistctomy and he just said to me I love this sketch. Wow. because he got the satiric
01:07:40
Yeah. point of it. And that was that was when you just went and I was really good
01:07:46
friends with all the sensors because I talked to them all the time. Yeah. Because they my stuff was, you know, um
01:07:54
I had to deal with them all the time. You call down edgy. All right. Dana, what else you got for Al? This poor guy for the ringer.
01:08:01
I don't know. I wanted Well, I'm having fun. So, I know it is fun. Steuart Smallley. We got to that. There's too much. I will have one last
01:08:07
thing. You didn't write Reagan mastermind, did you? That was a great I That was Smiggle's. Uh that was
01:08:13
Smiggles. I I kicked in. Yeah. But um you know that had a line that Chip and Dales had, which was this is the part of the job I hate. And
01:08:26
that that was Mike Meyer's line when they had to choose between uh sees and and uh and you know so hard you know they're they're consulting and and Myers
01:08:39
goes this is the part of the job I hate. So that was one of my favorite lines. I
01:08:45
don't think I wrote that in uh I Downey wrote Chip and Dales. I had one I got my
01:08:52
name was on it, but it was because I sat with him while he wrote it and I That's
01:08:57
a good trick. I I had one thing in it which was the name Barney. Barney. Yeah. Barney and Adrien, right? Barney and Adrien. Adrien. Barney.
01:09:08
Barney. Yeah, that was Nean who did that. Great. Well, Nean Nean the greatest attitude player. That was what was great. It was like so
01:09:22
you just knew Nean could play attitude. I Downey and I wrote a piece which was and then you think about how of the time it was. It was a uh a toothpaste ad uh
01:09:36
which had had Garrett and Victoria, not Garrett, uh uh Tim Meadows, I guess, and
01:09:42
uh Victoria Jackson and they're pitching it to for the Country Music Awards and um and Kevin is the guy who is receiving the pitch and has has to say no, we
01:09:56
don't don't want to put and it ends with this big kiss, Right. And this is I can't remember what year it was, but this was not something you would put on the Country Music Awards. A a white
01:10:10
woman kissing a black guy on on the lips. And it was Nean trying to say no without saying that, right? Saying all the reasons it wouldn't work.
01:10:25
Well, just uh you know just Yeah, that sounds very much I can't remember the lines but you give
01:10:33
him attitude and it was just he was a master. Yeah, maybe is he is maybe I could think of something else to do here at this beat. I uh I don't know.
01:10:44
Well, that that's uh you know then I ran for the Senate. You ran for a little birdie told me that you ran for the Senate. Yeah. And then uh uh yeah, it uh well,
01:10:58
look, you you guys this this idea of doing that you you've had you I love that you're having writers on. I kind of go by like people in high school or college that are just
01:11:10
interested in this or interested in comedy. It's kind of interesting to hear it just straight from people their
01:11:17
process or how it happened and and why and the whimsy of it all too. just like where does where does your inspiration
01:11:24
come from? Al, you once told me, Dana, that no one should become a comedian unless they have to be a comedian. Pretty much. I I think show business in
01:11:35
general is an emotionally violent sport. Um, you said that. I I wrote that down. I
01:11:42
thought that was interesting. Um, well, your feelings get hurt a lot, even if you're doing really well. And
01:11:47
you know, my touchstone, as corny as it sounds, is like I'm still making money doing this. And that's pretty cool. I never lost Well, cuz of one of 900 people who can.
01:12:00
Yeah. Um I just got an update. There's 911. There some some Bangladeshies were funny. And we had uh someone uh from Madagascar who made
01:12:13
some people fall out. The people fall out. Well guys, thanks Al. Thank you. You were great. Really, really, really interesting and fun.
01:12:25
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We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade,
01:12:49
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01:13:01
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