00:00:00
I was always wondering that Tim Chalamet a ding-dong. Shut up. Chalamet ding-dong was everywhere and he
00:00:07
was like the Knicks' LaBooBoo. You know, he was hanging around knowing and knowing what he does
00:00:14
and why he's there, but he's kind of cute. It's not dirty to literally anyone but
00:00:21
you. >> [laughter] >> When you have to enter, you know what I mean? It's just entering.
00:00:28
>> You you you're mind entering. Hehehe, like Beavis and Butt-Head. >> did a little nefarious giggle.
00:00:35
>> She's about to blow up [laughter] her computer. There you go. Wait, I got to get my
00:00:39
computer. >> can take the Mickey Rooney conversation with me and Nathan Lane. She can do
00:00:43
anything. >> God damn, that was pure filth. >> Well, just we're just reporters. So,
00:00:48
we're not we're not >> We're just reporting the news and the news is spicy. >> Well, it's an interesting idea.
00:00:56
This went through my mind. One, people recall conversations you have with them decades ago and quote you
00:01:07
and you don't remember saying that at all. >> Yeah. >> So, it's like So, Nathan, I was driving
00:01:13
Nathan Lane around LA apparently and I just turned to him and said, "I hate plays."
00:01:21
I was like I >> I remember that. That was funny. >> [laughter] >> I don't remember saying that, but I
00:01:26
remember saying I wasn't really into theater, but I was a kid who was watching, you know, Lost in Space. I
00:01:32
wasn't a theater guy. >> a little stand-up comic twerp from Bay Area. Who ca- You know, that's not in
00:01:38
your vernacular. You're not being If you live in New York and your parents take you to Broadway every weekend, you
00:01:44
know, it's a different vibe. >> seen a play except maybe later in high school they did Oklahoma.
00:01:49
>> Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping >> You know, and then I would go watch
00:01:55
Planet of the Apes in a movie theater and I go, "What do I like better? Apes or Oklahoma?" There but then I later on
00:02:03
I go, "I get it. Don't worry." >> No, but I will tell you this. We have Nathan Lane on the show coming up and
00:02:08
that's what we're talking about. He we interviewed him and he was really fun. I liked him and uh
00:02:12
>> Super funny. I love him. >> know much about him. He tells some tight stories and
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got some laughs. >> Uh that was sort of you know, it was sweet because we just hadn't really I
00:02:24
ran into him only once in like the early '90s but then it was going way back the
00:02:30
first job on TV we ever had and then the story of that. It we we I felt like I was talking to the same guy. It was
00:02:39
like a time machine. >> You guys remembered so much from freaking how many years ago doing this?
00:02:44
You're like, "And then the third day of shooting we all said this in the break room." I'm like, "Oh my god."
00:02:49
>> Well, I'll say this. Literally if Mickey Rooney who I became very fond of, you
00:02:53
know, at first I was like, "Well, who's this guy?" But um "I was the number one star in the world.
00:03:00
You hear me? Bang." "The world." Oh man, I did the squeak really good that time.
00:03:06
>> Oh, that was a perfect one. >> so we never got over it. You know, SNL's kind of an experiential and this
00:03:11
happened and this happened. But this sitcom should be a Broadway show called One of the Boys.
00:03:18
>> Yeah. It won't be but it should be but >> [laughter] >> Hey, hey, don't jinx it.
00:03:24
>> Chris Rock >> could play Scatman Crothers. >> Was he in it? >> Scatman, we didn't even get into the
00:03:30
Scatman stories. >> Hey, I never even heard that part of it. >> I became really good friends with
00:03:34
Scatman. I >> I always see you guys at the Grove walking around. >> What what I did was, you know, he was
00:03:41
constantly smoking weed in the in the the bathroom or whatever. "Is that you, Danny?" You know, just so and then my
00:03:49
brother came out and we I barely ever smoke marijuana in my life, but he said, "I'll get you some special." And then
00:03:57
he's talking to us. Scatman's talking to us like this, and he rolls a joint that's closed on both
00:04:04
ends, perfectly folded in. But it was the worst weed ever. It did nothing. [laughter]
00:04:10
So then I talked my brother Scott, so we got a a lid, they call it a lid, a big thing of Colombian. I guess I took it on
00:04:18
the airplane. And I brought it to New York, and I gave it to Scatman, and then the next day in
00:04:25
the elevator, he said, quote, cuz he was from the '30s, where it was illegal, he
00:04:30
goes, "Uh the music was good. May I get a pound?" >> A pound? He knows you're a dealer.
00:04:36
>> a pound? >> That was when planes didn't hassle you for bringing weed on and [ __ ] you know.
00:04:42
>> I guess not. But then after the show ended, my brother Scott and I drove down
00:04:47
the coast, went to Van Nuys, where Scatman lived. He had his good little ukulele out. We gave him all the pot, we
00:04:53
sang songs, and hugged it out, so. >> You know what's funny is no one not that many people are named Scatman anymore.
00:05:00
>> Well, I think it's from Scat ja ja ba da ba da bow, A NAME SPADE BOW BOW BOW.
00:05:07
>> Brothers >> But yeah, Scat singing, something you probably >> brought out the Blues Brothers in the
00:05:12
movie, I think. I think. Does he sing Minnie the Moocher, or am I thinking of someone
00:05:17
else? >> And he's famously in The Shining with Jack Nicholson. >> Oh. >> And he said, "Uh we came through
00:05:23
security at Heathrow, and Jack had a suitcase full of weed." And he talked to the guy and said,
00:05:30
"Don't worry, it's just for my personal use." And they let him in. >> Of course.
00:05:36
>> You're a movie star. >> Duh-ling. All right, I have a question. I No, I have a statement. I did a show,
00:05:43
Just Shoot Me. >> [snorts] >> Applause. Uh where I was mad at George Segal's character. I worked for him as an
00:05:52
assistant. So I quit and I said, "I'm going to go work for Snoop. He scouted me."
00:05:58
>> [laughter] >> So Snoop Dogg I went and worked for him. And then Jack wanted to find me and he
00:06:04
went and >> Oh, cool. >> He He knocked on the door and I had like long >> [laughter]
00:06:10
>> I had like Laker full Lakers outfit on. I'm like, "What do you want?" And then he's like He goes, "Snoop, can
00:06:15
I get him back?" And then I I told Snoop I go, "I got to go." And he's like And then they And I walk away and
00:06:22
Snoop's crying and he goes, "I'll miss that little fool." It's pretty funny. Anyway, he got me
00:06:28
stoned. >> reruns? Can we see this? >> Yeah, but he got me stoned and it made me think of you and Scott, man.
00:06:34
Because when someone is a pro stoner >> Mhm. >> Bill Maher, Woody Harrelson. If I smoke
00:06:40
with these guys it's lights out. Like they just think it's so funny to watch me go Hello
00:06:46
darkness, my old friend. >> Yeah. >> I used to play Pink Floyd Animals when I'd smoke. Sometimes you put cola on a
00:06:56
bong hit and make a coco puff. Did you ever do that? Such a waste of coke coke. I ain't
00:07:01
>> into it, you know. >> Yeah. >> But yeah, they're very professional. Like if you're a novice, like you would
00:07:06
be like, "Okay, hand it to me. Oh." >> Give me that reefer. >> All right. And they're like,
00:07:12
you know, I don't know, man. I mean, come on. They're just like twisting it and >> They're rolling a new one while they're
00:07:18
smoking. I'm like, "Are you getting something out of this?" >> They're rolling in two hands as they've
00:07:22
got one in their mouth. No, anyway, you know, it's like >> [laughter] >> I told you Woody has this like
00:07:28
canopy of like Saran Wrap holds over I think it's cuz any someone else at the pool at the hotel wouldn't be offended
00:07:38
by it. So it kind of stayed contained. But man, when you're in that vortex of weed
00:07:43
alone, you, like jump in the pool, blub blub blub. >> [laughter] >> We giggle a little bit back in the day,
00:07:52
but you know, anyway, that's all of our weed stories. >> Yeah, this is the hot topics is um
00:07:58
couple things going on. The next one, I don't know if they we you know, these air a couple
00:08:03
days later, so don't think we're this stupid, but we are a little late to the party, but the next one finally
00:08:09
the big story was I was always wondering that Tim Chalamet a ding-dong. >> Shut up a la mama.
00:08:16
>> Chalamet a ding-dong was everywhere, and he was like the Knicks's LaBooBoo, you
00:08:20
know, he was hanging around knowing and not what he does. >> [laughter] >> And why he's there, but he's kind of
00:08:28
cute, and then he was in the locker room, the locker room afterward, the champagne and the goggles.
00:08:35
And then I thought how did he wiggle in there? And then they panned back, remember in the show?
00:08:41
They're pulling a train on Kylie in the background. I'm kidding. I don't know if
00:08:44
it was Kylie, I'm kidding. >> Pulling a train, you can look that up, kids. I I heard I heard that was once.
00:08:50
>> it down a little bit. >> You don't want to go there. I'll tell you this, and I don't know if
00:08:55
we talked about it, but there's something about people of winning life so hard so and then they their team also wins
00:09:04
and they're just extra extra happy, like Taylor Swift and everything. Yeah, it's
00:09:09
like calm down. >> It makes people not like them because people go it's too much for you. It's
00:09:15
You don't get this much. You don't get your team winning when we live in this crummy town and our team never wins, so
00:09:20
you don't get it all. >> And then you're in the locker room partying WITH THEM ALL ALL NIGHT.
00:09:26
And what are we doing? Crying ourselves to sleep. Don't ever mess with my Golden
00:09:30
State Warriors. I I would give a warning, and I'm not trying to be aggressive to the Knicks.
00:09:37
>> Yeah. >> Sorry Knicks, you won't repeat, you won't three-peat, and you won't beat.
00:09:45
I've tell you and I I will be a sworea for the Warriors. >> Well, I if the Warriors have any chance
00:09:54
next year >> confused you. >> I know. I thought you were going to have quad-peat.
00:09:59
>> [laughter] >> I didn't have a pun. >> Well, but are you Do you think the Warriors can pull one more out?
00:10:05
Oh. >> I think every team is kind of like one piece away. I'd say the Lakers are in a very interesting thing. LeBron,
00:10:17
who's playing ridiculous at 41 like no one ever has, not with his speed and size.
00:10:23
But then you've got, you know, um uh the other guy who was injured, Don- Donic. The Croatian guy. Luka Donic. You know
00:10:34
those guys who look like refrigerator salesmen? They're kind of doughy compared to our guys.
00:10:39
>> Yeah, I like him. >> And yet they're incredibly talented. But my Warriors are a little long in the
00:10:45
tooth, but never count out Steph Curry. >> Okay, that's a bold statement. Okay, Luka Luka Dončić Dončić
00:10:53
>> sorry about that. >> I don't know. I'm trying to just getting into my ear. Also, uh
00:10:59
if Iran plays the USA in soccer, it's going to be awkward. Awkward. Oh, hi guys. Oh.
00:11:07
>> what'll happen if the US plays Iran, like we will start out and score like five goals. We'll just slaughter them. A
00:11:14
lot of their players will be injured. And they'll do some kind of weird hat trick, reorientate the field where they
00:11:21
hold us hostage. We can't do anything. They got us in a vise grip. Then we'll make an announcement that um we're going
00:11:27
to put in some new players and then sort of try to tie the game. They say >> Yeah.
00:11:33
>> Yeah, they can't have nuclear weapons during the game. That's for sure. >> Well, the latest one they can't have
00:11:39
really good nuclear weapons. They can't We don't want them having really good ones. They may get a couple, but they're
00:11:44
not going to get a really good one. >> Couple for 4th of July, but no none of the big biggies.
00:11:49
>> None of the biggies. Little tiny ones. >> ones you got to go behind the counter
00:11:53
for. Also, Iran they're going to be like, "You guys aren't still mad about us bombing you 4 days ago. Are we still
00:11:59
talking about this? I mean that's a waste of soccer. What are we doing? >> out We dropped a bomb on your entire
00:12:05
government and then wiped them out. Are you guys aren't upset about that, are you? Here, let me roll a joint.
00:12:11
>> Actually, another big story is how I was on the road and I was in charge with Dana doing a gig. Look at your
00:12:18
hair. >> Well, I'm trying to get it higher. I'm trying to set a record. >> think it can go higher. That's it.
00:12:23
>> a trim. I'm going to get a I'm going to ask you this really quick before you Are
00:12:26
you going to get a summer cut? >> No, this is a big discussion I saw on the YouTube comments that
00:12:34
they said they want me to be there when you get your summer cut. By the way, your hair looks so thick and juicy. You
00:12:39
look like Barbarella right now. >> [laughter] >> Why Barbarella? It's a funny reference,
00:12:44
but it makes no sense. That's Jane Fonda with not many clothes on. It's all about
00:12:51
We did that gig at our outdoor gig and I forgot some of my products, so it was kind of
00:12:56
you know, I have I need a lot of help. >> That Saratoga Mountain Winery is a great-looking cool gig. It was super
00:13:03
fun. Beautiful night out. I went on early. Sometimes Dana and I flip-flop, but this time I was first and I
00:13:10
after Larry Bubbles and and then I It was very odd going on at light. I should have switched with you
00:13:17
because when it's totally light out cuz I went on probably 8:20 still light. Everyone's shuffling doing
00:13:25
this looking around. People are filling in in the balcony over here. I'm like, "Oh, I can see every single person, what
00:13:31
they're doing, what they're wearing." It it threw me a little bit, to be honest.
00:13:35
>> It's still kind of I mean not used to outdoors like that. There was the the bleachers were asymmetrical.
00:13:43
There was a piece up to your left. I kind of remember to look up at them sometimes.
00:13:48
>> Yeah, that's right. There was a >> It wasn't just all in front of you. So, it was just just kind of different, you
00:13:53
know. >> And on the top there was a railing and all these people up there. I'm like, "It
00:13:56
looks like a freeway overpass where they're like protesting." You know, they're all lined up. I'm like, "Is this
00:14:00
part of the show or they just watching from somewhere? Is that a freeway?" >> I know, but it was a great crowd. I
00:14:07
mean, I felt It was a little awkward, but you know, I did all right. >> You crushed it.
00:14:11
>> follow you when you come in with that rat-tat-tat. Jesus Christ, Spade, with that speed bag going out there.
00:14:18
>> [laughter] >> Jokes per minute, you know, and I started with a guitar. It was right But
00:14:22
anyway, you know, you just Then I I rallied with a couple stories. >> I will say it made me think of a song
00:14:27
cuz I carried your Levi jacket this one all the way to meet you and give it to you. And I was like,
00:14:32
"Dana's heavy coat." I kept thinking of "Jamie's got a gun, Jamie's got a gun." >> Yeah, yeah.
00:14:38
>> "Dana's heavy coat." Cuz I was like, "Why is my suitcase so heavy for one night?" And I go,
00:14:43
"Dana's Levi jacket is not as light as it looks." >> No, it's cool up here today's but but
00:14:49
it's kind of a it's a heavy jacket, you know. >> Yeah. >> That I mean, that's reminds me that I
00:14:54
don't I just I don't know why when I started doing it cuz I was just excited that I wrote this parody song of you
00:15:00
know, kind of like Weird Al Yankovic with Neil Young for instead of cinnamon girl for Cinnabon girl.
00:15:07
>> Cinnabon girl. >> I could be happy the rest of my life with a Cinnabon. And I'm doing it, I'm
00:15:11
going, "Why am I starting with this?" >> Yeah, I saw you start with it. I was like, "Wow."
00:15:16
>> I don't I was just What was I doing? I was too thrown watching you from the alcove going, "Can we cut him? Is there
00:15:22
any way to get a signal to him?" >> life. No, you know, when you went out, I was
00:15:27
like, I kind of ended on not my ending closer cuz I hit my time, and I was like, "Shit, I better get off." And uh
00:15:33
I don't think you guys were all ready for like, "Okay, here comes the ramp up. Here's the final long bit." I just ended
00:15:40
on when I go, "The next one that works, I'm getting off." And then you probably were like, "Oh, [ __ ] I'm
00:15:44
on." Cuz I just brought I just go, "Thanks. All right, here's Dana." basically, and you were like, "Oh,
00:15:48
shit." And then it throws you a little bit cuz you're not getting ready, but >> it Yeah, it was I was I was like that,
00:15:55
too. I don't I don't I don't know what, but we all critique ourselves in that way by
00:16:01
>> fun, though. We had fun, though. >> Super fun, great crowd. And for me, it was like, there were a lot of people
00:16:07
from my high school there. You know, which is all who from Carlin, you know, cuz I
00:16:12
>> You used to do this bit all the time. Like, that's not possible. >> Hey, you weren't funny in high school.
00:16:17
What happened? >> Oh, I had a guy tell me at the reunion, he goes, "Everyone says was Spade
00:16:22
funny?" I was like, "Fuck, no." I go >> Well, the real question is, was was David Spade at 16 trying to be funny
00:16:31
with football players? Hey, guys. >> Here's my act. No, I was trying to survive and live.
00:16:40
By the way, here's another big story. >> [laughter] >> I love that you're getting stories.
00:16:44
Okay, what is >> Here's the story. You know, this is kind of old because it's been a while, but Elon Musk being a
00:16:50
trillionaire, I wanted to put that in perspective for you. A trillion dollars, if you had a
00:16:56
trillion dollars, you could buy 2 miles of the high-speed rail in California. >> That's a burn.
00:17:07
That's such a burn. >> [laughter] >> Wow. >> Nah, cuz it cost 120 billion to get this garbage railroad in Sacramento
00:17:17
that no one wants. >> [laughter] >> Okay. Also, they could if you stack them >> Mhm. They go
00:17:23
>> Could could you go to the moon? >> I don't think so. >> the answer. >> It could go it could go get into orbit.
00:17:32
I don't know if it go all the way to the moon. >> Orbit. Mhm? >> Orbit. >> Where's orbit?
00:17:37
>> Orbit. >> That's about >> 90,000 ft or >> Oh. >> Something like that? >> Roughly give or take.
00:17:45
>> Mhm. I'm always thinking let's see if you and Heather are good at math or Greg.
00:17:50
If you could like to take the trillion >> Yeah. >> and put it in a 5% bond [laughter]
00:17:58
what would you get in passive you're just sleeping on the beach income? >> income.
00:18:04
>> Yeah. So, 5% of a billion >> I could live forever on one day's interest. >> But let's get a number.
00:18:13
>> That's 18 zeros. >> Man, Jesus Christ. Is it 500 million you'd make with sleeping on the beach?
00:18:19
>> It's 5% on a trillion. >> Well, 10% would be because it's a thousand billion >> 100 billion.
00:18:27
>> [laughter] >> I know what >> 10% would be 100 billion, right? >> Yeah, I guess so. So, 10% so 5% would be
00:18:38
50 billion as you slept on the beach. >> I could live on that. >> Yeah. But still, you know, you got to
00:18:44
watch expenses and all that. Yeah, you can't get carried away. >> every night. You can't go nuts.
00:18:51
>> [laughter] >> I just like that guys with 250 billion base will walk into a room and just literally kind of
00:19:00
they lose height, they shrink, they're slumped over if if if Elon's there. They're like they just shrink down to
00:19:07
little men. >> They're little little punks with their 250 billion. >> They're fleas on amoebas on rats.
00:19:14
>> Okay, no no joke. I'm not kidding around here. What would you buy if you had a
00:19:17
billion dollars just off the top of your head? Just a thing that you would enjoy.
00:19:22
$1 billion. You have 5 seconds. >> I don't know. I'd probably just get I wouldn't waste it. I'd probably get a
00:19:28
>> Are you a boat or a plane guy? >> I wouldn't spend it frivolously. I'd get a solid gold skateboard with diamonds on
00:19:35
it. And then >> An autograph by >> No, I'd probably want to get a plane to fly around in.
00:19:40
>> I think that would be the G7 where you could wake up in um you know, go to Santa Monica and go
00:19:47
anywhere in the world non-stop pretty much. I think you can go to Tokyo, you could you go to Europe, you go to
00:19:53
wherever. >> I would fly home from Grown Ups every night back to LA. >> Yeah, and those new ones are like the
00:19:58
Citation 10 inside baseball. They go over 51,000 ft so the flight is completely smooth cuz you're ahead of
00:20:05
the jet stream. Thank you very much. So that's what I would get too. Yeah. But you have to have a lot of money cuz
00:20:12
the maintenance, but anyway. Continue. >> That's where they get you. >> What's that about?
00:20:18
>> That's the sucker wrench. >> Why does that What do you mean that's how they get you and you're a sucker
00:20:23
wrench? >> That's the maintenance. He's under the plane going >> Okay. I had to >> Let me tighten these lug nuts.
00:20:29
>> [laughter] >> No, the the maintenance uh per week costs more than the plane. That's That's how they
00:20:36
get you. That's what they don't tell you. >> The maintenance is bad. The gas is where
00:20:39
they get you. I would say I'd say put regular in it, not super regular. >> I would say buy buy I would buy Saudi
00:20:48
Arabia. >> [laughter] >> So you could get free gas. >> Can I get a deal on Mykonos?
00:20:54
>> Jeez, okay. Let's get some Shell Let's go over to the Shell station and clear
00:20:58
it out. All right. Getting that super supreme. No more unleaded for me, Carffee.
00:21:06
>> [laughter] >> I used to say, "I'm so dumb. I'm the kind of guy that puts super unleaded in
00:21:11
a rental car." That was from my act. I don't know if I I'd said that one. >> used to do a joke the first time there
00:21:18
was crazy oil gas prices going up. Uh fill her up? No, just $300 worth. >> Nah, give me the first 300.
00:21:27
>> Yes, give me fill her up? No, just 300 bucks. How about that? That was >> I just want to put 10 bucks in it. Why?
00:21:34
Where are you going? Just to the next >> gas station? >> gas tank squirter. >> What do they call it?
00:21:46
>> And where do you get gas from? Where you hold the gun out? What's that called?
00:21:50
>> [laughter] >> A gas tank squirter. You got it right. Hey, here's a pop quiz for you.
00:21:55
>> You don't know. >> Well, it's called the pump. >> Oh, I'm just yeah. >> I just want to put 10 bucks in it. Why?
00:22:02
You going to work? No, I'm just going to the next pump. >> Let me ask you a question.
00:22:07
>> [sighs] >> Have you ever put the gas in the car, put it in the thing, it's going?
00:22:14
>> Yeah. >> Going to the the convenience store, you get a candy bar or something, go out and
00:22:18
drive and it's still in there and then it flies out of the pump? Have you ever done that?
00:22:25
>> I've seen it happen and I really hope I don't do that cuz that's going to wind up on some Instagram
00:22:31
fails. >> [laughter] >> I did it, but I blame it on this. So, I you know, I'm talking to someone. All
00:22:39
right, go in the store. All right, all right. I go in the car and so then it but luckily it just shuts off.
00:22:46
>> Oh, you put it in, then you leave and forget about it. >> I'm driving and it pulls away and and I
00:22:51
just started flooring it. You know, but it it shuts off. They come out and go, "We can put this in, no problem. Keep
00:22:59
driving. Many people pull them out. >> Yeah. >> Can you tell what accent that is?
00:23:06
>> That's Armenian. >> [laughter] >> You have an Iran fixation. >> No, I just thought of it cuz I was just
00:23:13
thinking of something. >> Mhm. >> But I wrote it down. But listen, I would Netflix is going to do a new show if
00:23:18
because they like live events. And I'm in with them because of >> Yeah, you're like
00:23:24
>> couple things I have percolating. >> In the hopper. >> No, so they're going to do live event of
00:23:30
>> Mhm. >> They're going to have someone stack a trillion dollars and see how far it gets. That would be a good
00:23:36
live event. It would take a while. >> Was isn't Mr. Beast all over that? >> Oh yeah, where's Mr. [ __ ] Beast with
00:23:42
this one? >> Yeah, beast it up, beasty [ __ ] >> This is a [ __ ] layup for this guy.
00:23:46
>> Look, you got a nickname like that, you got to live up to it. You know, enough
00:23:50
of kids running around chasing a soccer ball. Lay down 12 trillion in greenbacks, okay?
00:23:56
>> Yeah, makes me think of when every Jake Paul someone fights someone I go this this guy's fighting a YouTuber. I'm
00:24:03
like, Jake Paul's like 6'3 solid rock, has 150 million dollars in 24-hour trainers. Have him fight Mr. Beast. Want
00:24:12
to get a YouTuber in there? >> [laughter] >> Let's fight a 5-year-old that plays with
00:24:16
toys. >> The slow mo of that punch he took, I got a lot of respect for him. Like he broke
00:24:21
both sides of his jaw. I really >> He goes a good dude, he goes, "Not as fun as I thought."
00:24:27
>> And then you know, then he's all bleeding and a broken >> jaw. I loved every minute of it. I
00:24:32
respect [laughter] that guy. >> I'm numb. Yeah, he's eating shakes for the next 2 weeks.
00:24:38
>> Yeah, [laughter] I know, but it's like but he got the cash. >> Is that really a win, Dana?
00:24:46
>> Mhm, not if you have permanent arthritic jaw. You know, later on it might come
00:24:51
back to haunt you. >> Dude, my jaw hurts like [ __ ] my neck, and I got nothing for it.
00:24:55
>> That's because you did a backflip in junior college, fool. >> Hey, so here's the other one. I this
00:25:02
airs This will be Monday. In a week we got and we're going to have Theo on. I shouldn't even say that because we cuz
00:25:09
the movie is now, Dana, it's on a couple places, Apple. >> Don't just hold on. Apple.
00:25:18
>> [laughter] >> It's on Apple. It's on >> Apple, okay, I got that. >> YouTube TV.
00:25:23
>> YouTube TV. >> Amazon. [clears throat] >> Geez, where isn't it? Let's just say
00:25:27
>> Fandango and busboys.com. You can rent or buy, but it's number five on Apple right now. You kidding.
00:25:35
>> Behind Project Hail Mary. >> When I think of Bus Boys, and I know it sounds like a non sequitur, I think of
00:25:42
Project Hail Mary. Like the similarities Um well, you know the similarities. Let
00:25:49
us know. You know what I mean. >> Basically, it's boy meets girl, boy meets moon,
00:25:55
boy meets space monster. That's Project Hail Mary, which I saw but you didn't, I don't think.
00:26:01
>> I did see it. >> Oh, I bet you liked it. >> Enjoyed it very much. Yeah. >> I like Ryan
00:26:07
>> Ryan Gosling is just a incredible movie actor. >> hard one to pull off. Not to run over
00:26:14
you, but that's a hard one >> No, no, he's great. I mean, you know, and Bus Boys are basically you and Theo
00:26:19
telling dick jokes, falling down in the dirt. But which I said before, but it's a good word package.
00:26:25
>> Let's tell Theo that, he'll love it. Because uh >> There's nothing wrong with that. We need
00:26:30
>> it. >> raw comedy that's just funny and goes wherever it wants to go. We need it.
00:26:36
>> I like my reviews on my DMs are from literally one guy one girl goes, "I saw Bus Boys, it has changed my life."
00:26:43
>> [laughter] >> I don't know if that's good or bad. And then someone's like, "I like these
00:26:47
movies. Bring back these stupid, moronic, dumb [ __ ] movies." Yes. Yes. I saw Bus Boys and all, never forget it.
00:26:58
I saw Bus Boys and it reorientated my position on the planet. I mean, they're sort of obscure compliments.
00:27:05
>> I saw Bus Boys, I'll never remember it. I'll never forget it. Tim Dillon was funny. You know, I like when they say
00:27:13
lines from it. Listen, the big victory is if someone wears a quotes lines or it's a Halloween
00:27:20
costume. >> Yes. Can you foster those two things? >> It's possible. No, we have to give it
00:27:27
time because once people see it, then you go more people will see it at home, obviously, than
00:27:33
>> Mhm. >> driving to the theater. Now, Project Hail Mary is easier to go to theater because it cost $200 and you
00:27:40
go and they spent every bit of it on a screen. >> Yeah, I mean, it's I saw it in a stadium
00:27:47
theater. >> You [clears throat] did? You're like Joe Imax. >> I like I like a a nice 11:00 movie.
00:27:54
>> Yeah. >> Empty. >> Mhm. [clears throat] >> The only, you know, I mean, unless
00:27:59
people are talking. I like to be away from people. You like to be in a group of people. You're watching a war movie.
00:28:05
This is sad. I like it. I mean, it throws me out of the movie. >> Yeah, I do. Are those real bombs, you
00:28:11
think? Everyone's talking during the movie. >> I know. It's just like >> Does this take place now?
00:28:18
>> No, this is World War II. So, before? >> I know. It's like >> before? >> Hey, let's grab a cup of coffee and have
00:28:25
a chat and catch up. Hey, wait a minute. There's a movie starting. >> [laughter]
00:28:29
>> Let's do it in the movie. >> Let's do it when the movie starts. I love you, Brian.
00:28:34
>> [laughter] >> The first thing you do, I'm going to teach you, Dana. When someone is talking behind you
00:28:42
in a movie, you go like this. >> [sighs] >> That's the first That's the first shots
00:28:47
fired. Second is >> [laughter] >> you go like this. That's >> You're going to get mugged if you start
00:28:56
talking. What's next? >> Well, that's not bad. You just sigh meaning like, "Come on, guys."
00:29:02
Or then you go like this, "Hey, come on." I say that like like this, "Hey, come on."
00:29:06
>> [snorts] >> And then they don't know where it's coming from. They go, "But if they get really loud
00:29:13
>> [laughter] >> If they get really loud Well, see, I have a problem cuz if I have to tell
00:29:17
them to be quiet, I get so angry that I have to tell them that I just thrown out of
00:29:23
the movie. But I was at some big science fiction movie with a friend. Pretty empty theater, but Cinerama dome.
00:29:31
And there's a baby consistently crying like 40 ft away with these parents. So he He goes, "Oh, man." And he goes,
00:29:38
"I'm going to go say something." I go, "Really?" >> For the baby? >> So he walks over. He says, "Hey, could
00:29:43
you could you your baby's crying?" And the guy did say, "What are you blaming me for? It's the baby's crying."
00:29:49
>> [ __ ] say >> direct quote. What do you What do you want me to do? It's the baby
00:29:54
crying. >> Put it outside. >> [laughter] >> But why should you really bring your
00:29:59
baby to see [ __ ] Obsession? >> Well, I wanted to bring an orangutan, see if I could get one at the local zoo
00:30:04
and come back and have it and go, "Hey, could you get your orangutan quieter?" What [laughter] do you Why are you mad
00:30:11
at me? Yell at Talk to the orangutan, idiot. >> I always smile at the moms when their
00:30:16
baby is [ __ ] freaking out on airplanes because I want to be like, "I got it. It's not your fault."
00:30:22
>> Well, you want to tell them that Oh, we've been there. So yeah, we don't ever
00:30:27
try to scold them or you know, it's just >> smile and say, "I get it. I get it." And then it
00:30:33
halfway through the flight I go, "Hey, it's getting ridiculous. Do something." >> Yeah.
00:30:38
>> what you could do in a movie? And this is you probably won't. >> what you would say by the way. If you
00:30:42
don't do something, I will. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Quiet. >> They're scared of me. And here's what
00:30:48
you could do. They they see you, and they go, "Hey, can you at least part your hair? I can't
00:30:54
see the screen cuz you're in front of them." >> [laughter] >> And you go like this.
00:30:58
Can you see now? >> Because of >> Your hair is so high, it blocks them. >> Well, I'm going to get This is going to
00:31:05
come down. It's It's like a hedge. It's like what That was those things that grow with
00:31:10
>> Chia Pet or something? >> Yeah, [laughter] it's chia hair. >> My hair grows faster. I have shitty
00:31:15
hair, but it grows faster. And >> No, it's very good hair. >> It grows >> And here's what happens. If they talk so
00:31:20
much behind you, you go, "I don't want to do this." And you take up your coat like you're
00:31:24
going to fight them, and then you throw your super heavy coat on them, and they can't move, and they're smothered.
00:31:28
>> Yeah. Well, I throw that, and I also have a thing where I can just blow the hair up.
00:31:34
>> [snorts] [laughter] >> And they're like, "We can't see the movie. Don't blame me, blame the hair."
00:31:41
>> Take it up with my follicles. >> [laughter] >> Take it up with my temples. >> That's hilarious.
00:31:51
>> That's That's hair-spiculous. >> I will say I had a genius marketing idea, but I don't We'll go to the
00:31:57
stories. >> let's make some money for a second. People are listening. >> This won't be necessary.
00:32:03
>> I'll pitch I'll pitch a movie. I'll pitch a TV show, but I don't know if I should cuz it's so [ __ ] good.
00:32:09
>> Okay, this is so bad. This is I saw the other day the Chipmunks movie was on.
00:32:14
You know what that's called? >> Of course. >> Like with David Cross. >> Yeah. >> And And then they did a second one. And
00:32:21
you know what they called it, which I thought was genius? >> Chipmunks forever? >> No, they said Chipmunks 2: The
00:32:28
Squeakquel. >> Nice. I like a good I like a good pun. >> So, I said you should do
00:32:35
where they go back in the 1800s and do Last of the Mohicans. Wouldn't that be good? It would be a
00:32:43
little racially insensitive cuz they have orange hair. >> does this, too. Where they just have
00:32:49
fun. >> cover. >> Yeah. >> They don't do this good. I mean Mohicans? I mean, god damn, it sells
00:32:55
itself. 100 million on video. >> That is good. >> That's all. That's my big idea. Now,
00:32:59
here, let me hear your movie. >> It's not a movie, it's a TV show, but Okay. Um it's called
00:33:08
I don't know if I'd do this such a good idea, but >> You don't know if you'd do it.
00:33:11
>> it here. >> Don't give it away, yeah. >> It's called >> Trademark. >> It's called The Big Switcheroo.
00:33:18
>> Okay. I like it. >> So, it's a competition show and initially what you'll do is you'll take
00:33:23
a comedian who'll teach the singer how to do comedy and the singer will teach the comedian how to sing. It's a
00:33:29
competition show. And then eventually, you get like the plumber teaches the guy in the house how to be a plumber. It's
00:33:36
any kind of switcheroo teaching each other. And it's called The Big Switcheroo. Mhm.
00:33:42
>> Done. >> Done. >> I would have done >> So, you would have you would coach Mick
00:33:46
Jagger how to do a stand-up and Mick Jagger would coach you how to how to sing, you know, one of their songs.
00:33:55
>> Or >> Don't be too excited. >> No, this is good. I'm thinking of how I can steal it. But um I'll just name it
00:34:01
something else. Uh but also >> Well, I love the transparency. I can't get mad. >> I'm just thinking out loud. I'm sorry
00:34:08
I'm preoccupied. I'm trying to steal it. Um >> My hair got bigger in the last 30
00:34:11
seconds, if you noticed. >> I was going to say, what if you had someone could trade places with your
00:34:16
hair for a day and then report back what it's like? >> Big Hairy Roo? >> Yeah. [laughter]
00:34:21
And then they go they go It's great being Dana's hair. Everyone looks, everyone stares, and gives
00:34:27
compliments. >> Oh, I got a title. Follicle Follies. >> Oh, yeah. >> Follicle follicles and people just
00:34:34
switch hair. >> If I wanted to start a feet only fans, give me names like what what should I
00:34:39
>> I've heard from people that Heather wants to start a feet only fans. Do you want a name for it?
00:34:43
Is that is it >> I just want you guys to give me names if I did. If >> What would it be your name on your thing
00:34:48
or what would it be called? >> Something with feet and say >> Oh. Uh let's play footsie.
00:34:54
>> Like sole siren. >> Oh, feel a foot Instagram for only fans. >> [laughter] >> It's called sole asylum.
00:35:04
>> Well, wait a minute. What is the What is the thing? So, people people with foot
00:35:07
fetishes or what is it? >> that Dana is so innocent and adorable. >> Dana, they make money.
00:35:12
>> They make so much money putting their naked feet on only fans and people pay >> can look at their feet.
00:35:18
>> [laughter] >> I like how he thinks about >> Just feet. >> Yeah, they feet their feet.
00:35:23
>> Okay. >> And so, you can make a tidy living without being fully naked. I would show my feet all day if I was
00:35:32
female. My By the way, I'm not saying my feet are bad. My feet are great and what we
00:35:37
should do, Heather, no offense to your feet, mine are probably better. We take pictures of my
00:35:41
feet and we see how much money we can make if you say they're girls. >> Um let me ask you a question and Heather
00:35:49
and anyone who wants to listen. Yeah. Do you do maintenance on your feet? Do you get
00:35:57
>> maintenance? Is a a woman is had to do maintenance? >> Heather is a woman is, but Heather's
00:36:01
especially. Had to do maintenance and the feet, I'm sure she could zhuzh them up in a pinch if it's a photo shoot, but
00:36:07
just regularly, I'm sure they're fine. >> they call them. I mean, my question for
00:36:12
you is this and I don't know about the image. Do you have like a gigantic Jacuzzi tub with that you get into
00:36:20
instead of a shower with bubbles everywhere and a big cigar? >> Me and Heather? >> You.
00:36:28
>> Me, no. >> Heather, women take baths. Men are men, they shower. >> Yeah, I shower and then I um
00:36:36
I think if I did if Heather did a Anyone that does feet There's something called WikiFeet, Dana.
00:36:42
I think that's what it's called, right? >> Instead of Wikipedia? >> Or FeetFinder, what is it called? I
00:36:46
don't Both. And they just make money showing women's feet. So if if you look at a picture of who It's too
00:36:54
perverted, Danny. You're too sweet. >> Well, no. I mean, you guys you got you got ears.
00:36:58
They just show their ears. >> [snorts] >> They get seven figures. >> What's it called?
00:37:03
>> It's called Just Ears. >> [laughter] >> And they just come in tight and and so
00:37:08
there's ear fetishes. >> I mean, I'm about as turned on by feet and ears the same. I don't
00:37:14
really I'm not a super foot guy. I do think if girls have nice legs, they probably have nice feet, too. But I
00:37:19
don't know what everyone's looking for in these feet. Like Obviously, you don't want to be too
00:37:24
calloused and worn out by >> just a blink. You don't want to hear the phrase, "What's their feet like?"
00:37:29
Gnarly. >> Yeah, gnarled. >> You know what you could get into? There's a website where people pay and
00:37:35
want to see it. It's It's called Sleepy Mustache. So you could just show your mustache on
00:37:41
sleepymustache.com make a lot of money. This is where you come back with something.
00:37:48
>> No, I don't cuz I'm thinking about it. >> [laughter] >> Thinking about it. I might need some
00:37:52
>> I got ears, Sleepy Mustache. We're two and 0. Give give me something. >> I have good legs, too. I'm not bragging,
00:37:57
but I've had a few if not a couple compliments. >> Well, what what did you you played Chris
00:38:03
Kattan's character, which was in high heels on SNL. >> Mango. >> Mango. >> Yeah, I don't wear shorts that much and
00:38:14
it's a crime. It's a crime. >> Well, my legs were so Well, from running were so gigantic, I
00:38:22
couldn't buy pants. I couldn't cuz I had a I just Yeah, I still have huge Yeah. Yeah.
00:38:30
[laughter] >> Quad-wise or buttocks? >> I You want to have kind of slender legs as a distance runner. I always felt
00:38:36
like, you know, giant legs, muscular legs were too much for a distance runner. But I got over it.
00:38:46
>> All right, let's get into some news cuz we're going long and I know that you've got to go out to the well or
00:38:51
something today. >> Oh, buzzing around, Buster. Oh, we haven't done goddamn buzzing. Could we
00:38:57
ever get this right? Okay. Buzzing around. >> Mhm. >> So, we talked earlier >> the problems. No, I have to introduce
00:39:04
it. Hold on. >> Oh, we'll have problems, trust me. >> [laughter] >> Okay, now it's time for buzzing around,
00:39:09
sponsored by 5-hour Energy's Firework Freeze flavor. Ignite your taste buds with a red, white, and blue freezer pop
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classic reimagined as a delicious Firework Freeze 5-hour Energy shot. Find Firework Freeze shots online at
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5hourenergy.com or Amazon today. Okay, so Dana is going to do I'm three impressions
00:39:31
>> We talked before. Yeah, I'm going to do a Western kind of movie >> Okay. >> uh between old school cowboys and then
00:39:40
some more modern people as cowboys. >> Right. >> And it's not I've not done it out loud.
00:39:48
There's no script. There's just a rough >> You've been rehearsing for weeks. >> [laughter]
00:39:56
>> Well, okay, here we go. We'll do Duke. I don't think I don't think we should challenge these people. They're kind of
00:40:02
scary, Duke. >> Well, calm down, Pappy. Well, don't make me do what I did last time.
00:40:09
You fellows out there want to wrestle with us a little bit? I'm Billy the drump. I'm Billy the drump
00:40:17
and many people know Billy [laughter] the Trump. I can drag and shoot fast. I can shoot
00:40:22
good. And hit this here is the Ringo Kid. They call him the Ringo Kid. He's the Ringo
00:40:28
Kid, right? Come on. I was like you shoot faster than anybody ever shot. Well, what's he talking about, Pappy?
00:40:36
Can't understand what is Shane, Duke? What do you think, Kirk Douglas? >> [laughter]
00:40:42
>> Well, now I'm faster than your Ringo Kid. I can I'll play your tune, cowboy. I can follow a shooter faster, right,
00:40:52
Rob Schneider? Yeah, I'm Rob. >> [laughter] >> I'm Burt Lancaster. Your name's Rob
00:41:00
Schneider. Ha, you don't You're not familiar to me. How do I know you're fast gun?
00:41:07
>> [laughter] >> Come on, I beg to differ. I'll shoot you in the head. I'm fast. I'm real fast.
00:41:14
I >> [laughter] >> Well, it's time to start the party. Uh-oh, here comes the fastest gun. I
00:41:22
didn't want to have him, Mr. David Spade. >> Woah. Oh, yeah. Hey guys, is there a gun?
00:41:29
Is there a bar? I don't want to get in a gun fight. I just want to kind of buzz by.
00:41:34
And say hi to Rob. Hey Rob. >> Oh, come on, they're poisoning our water. He's a little bit like Joe Biden.
00:41:40
I didn't even notice. Yeah, that's funny. >> [laughter] >> I'm Burt Lancaster. Why don't we count
00:41:46
to three and shoot him away? One, two, three. And then >> [laughter] >> Scene. Scene.
00:41:56
>> I will say my one thing is I thought Ringo would be Ringo Starr. >> Peace and love. I know, I should have
00:42:03
done that. Peace and love. Well, [snorts] peace and love doesn't work around here, Ringo Starr.
00:42:09
>> Mhm. See, he could always come and try to pee, you know, maybe next week. >> May brothers, may brothers.
00:42:14
>> You know, I think the next time we do it we have to It's going to be turning Theo. We're doing a special one.
00:42:20
A Dana and David, no guest, with a guest. So, uh but we're going to make him sit
00:42:26
through Buzzing Around. It'll be fun for him. It'll be fun for him. >> Okay. Let me know what you think he'd
00:42:32
like to hear. >> Oh, yeah, that's funny. Hey, man. >> the Trump. I'm Billy the Trump. I I can
00:42:37
shoot very fast. >> I like Billy the Trump. That's a good >> was great. >> Something off point.
00:42:42
>> Okay, that was Buzzing Around with Dana Carvey. We're sponsored by 5-hour Energy's Firework Freeze flavor, the
00:42:47
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5hourenergy.com and amazon. today. >> Mhm. >> I like to buzz around. >> Hey, let's show a
00:43:07
>> No one knows Kirk Douglas, but I do. >> It's a good one. >> Give me a clip or two.
00:43:13
>> Clip it up. >> Mhm. >> Clips ahoy. Oh, this is Oh, yeah, Heather saw this. I knew she'd love it. This is a Romeo and
00:43:23
Juliet. >> It's so crazy. >> And I think a random cat comes out during the play.
00:43:34
This is during the play. >> Oh, during the play? Fantastic. >> crawled out. God, he's loving it. The guy doesn't
00:43:43
move a muscle. >> God. >> Look at Juliet tries to Is he crooked in this part? >> Shades of massive head wound Harry.
00:43:51
>> Yeah, it is massive head wound. >> Yeah. >> Look at the cat. Now it gets on the
00:43:55
table and Aw, that's it. [ __ ] That's funny. >> How did the cat get out? I mean,
00:44:00
sometimes when Jon Lovitz does stand-up, Jerry just comes out in the middle of it. That's as close as I I to that.
00:44:05
>> Who let the cats out? That's cute, right? That's a lot of these are cute. >> Cats are cute, you know. My horse nipped
00:44:16
at me last night. >> Woah. >> You know, I I was >> Cuz it's pregnant. >> No, I was just kind of petting it and
00:44:22
giving it carrots and then I sort of pet its neck and it sort of went Don't don't
00:44:26
do that. >> [laughter] >> And you say, [clears throat] "Hey, there's the door." "There's the door. You don't like it
00:44:31
here?" >> Yeah, I just said, "Really?" >> Huh, really? >> [laughter] >> Well, [clears throat]
00:44:38
Oh, you hate plays. You probably hated watching that clip. >> I love the theater.
00:44:45
I love plays now, but you can't hold me accountable for something I said in 1980.
00:44:50
>> If you said it, yeah. I mean, that was funny that you guys both remembered driving in a car and what you talked
00:44:56
about. I was like, "What?" >> Yeah. >> Uh okay, next one. I don't know what that is. [snorts]
00:45:01
>> Okay. Can you read that microscopic [ __ ] >> This was the outfit he managed to put
00:45:07
together to simulate >> Oh, this kid didn't have a Mexican flag outfit. So, he wore a
00:45:13
Christmas outfit with the same colors, which is smart. >> Okay, that's clever. And one of the big
00:45:22
One of the big soccer players saw the clip. And he gave him a grande mucho something.
00:45:33
>> See, look at him. See the See the Christmas sweater? Heather, can you tell? Same colors. It blends right in.
00:45:40
>> Yeah. And so, the the football or soccer player gave him food and a show. >> It would have been better if all these
00:45:46
people were picking on him and then he felt bad first and then the superstar called him and said, "I'm
00:45:52
going to give you a mucho grande jersey." >> That's the thing is you don't want some
00:45:56
bully and in the your class calling you out on that. It's not a Christmas shirt.
00:46:01
>> And then you come back to school a hero, and then they're jealous, so they beat
00:46:05
you up again. >> When they say beat up, it's just usually it's just one punch, right?
00:46:11
>> Yeah. >> Right now >> I I took a few before I'd go down, but yeah. >> Well, I never went down.
00:46:17
>> I mean, I didn't I didn't go down. I get knocked down, I get up again. >> [laughter]
00:46:23
>> Okay, let's see the next dumb story. >> Let's see it. >> Oh, I think this one This one I heard
00:46:28
was a joke. James Dolan asked Knicks players to abstain from sex. But you're not telling grown men to do
00:46:37
anything, especially horny base football. What are they called? >> they going to police that?
00:46:44
>> [laughter] >> He said, "Don't get mad, but I'm going to put a ring camera in everyone's
00:46:48
bedroom." Please understand, it's for the playoffs. >> Yes. I'm going to have special
00:46:54
surveillance in your bedrooms just for my private use just to make sure you obey my orders.
00:47:02
>> This goes back to the Josh Duhamel >> Josh Duhamel >> advice he was given before dates.
00:47:10
>> I remember that Yeah. >> You still thinking about it? Does it happen It happens, for sure.
00:47:16
I've heard guys say it. >> You're not supposed to >> like you're whack off. You are supposed
00:47:21
to. >> You're reporting what someone told you. Yeah. He never said if he took the
00:47:26
advice. >> I said, "Did you?" And he goes He said, "Probably." Uh okay, next one. We're We're buzzing
00:47:35
through these. >> Photographic memory much? >> Who, me? >> No, Heather. He did. Oh, look at these two munchkins.
00:47:42
>> Okay, this is funny. Does it say You did? >> Uh no, this is funny cuz I told you I'm
00:47:48
such a premiere [ __ ] >> But look, these are just different premieres I was at. This is a funny one
00:47:53
of me and Farley. I like the But my outfits are all 1,000% bad. But I was digging it. Okay, next one.
00:48:00
>> Okay, that's that's not a >> this? >> Number two is Happy Gilmore 1996. >> Oh, Happy Gilmore premiere.
00:48:07
>> You look like a gas station attendant circa 1968. Fill her up, sir. >> Throw that away. It was too cool. I
00:48:15
shouldn't wear a t-shirt under, but I would change things now. That was >> Shades and Door.
00:48:24
A Waterworld. >> Waterworld, you went to that one, too? >> I remember I took a picture with Julia
00:48:30
Ormond, this actress that wound up being in Sabrina, maybe. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, anyway, I looked cool though. My
00:48:38
U2 hat was spicy. This is my favorite one. This has to be Goodfellas or Casino? Yeah, Casino.
00:48:44
>> it. I saw Wes Craven. >> Me and Me and Farley went to this from work premiere horror ran down
00:48:53
uh Times Square, whatever it was in New York. Hilarious. My New York coat on. Oh, this is
00:49:01
God, can I stop for one second? Not a stylist. And no, and my hair is messed. Good god.
00:49:08
Is that a Kate Spade shirt? Does it say Kate Spade? That's the little one. I still have that shirt.
00:49:13
>> Maybe. >> Uh okay, next one. >> God, you went everywhere. >> Oh, that's I Dallas from MTV. What? Look
00:49:21
at my hat's backwards. What's going This is a >> Cable Guy. >> A crime. >> Sunglasses, backward hat, always wearing
00:49:29
>> that I would take dates to a premiere is insane. >> [laughter] >> Oh, Jerry Maguire, stop going.
00:49:37
>> You were just invited to all these? I didn't even >> I could say no. >> I didn't know I could say yes.
00:49:46
>> Oh, Kristy Swanson. Look at this stupid shirt. I love that shirt, and I tuck it
00:49:50
in. hey wait >> some hands are being held. >> I know, she was a hand holder, but you
00:49:54
know. >> Oh, okay. >> What's that, Godzilla? >> Mhm. >> Kind of >> [clears throat]
00:49:57
>> actually let's stop, this is too embarrassing. Oh, go to the next one. >> but that's outdoors.
00:50:02
>> Emperor's New Groove. >> Emperor's New Groove, okay, Anger Management. >> There's Emperor's New Groove.
00:50:06
>> Oh, going with the snow cap again. >> Lavender? >> Yeah, that's a cool hat. Wendie Malick,
00:50:12
that's where I met her. Look at me and Lovitz, okay, we can end with this one, me and Lovitz.
00:50:16
>> Laura, Tomb Raider. >> Oh, let's not end, let's this is Tomb Raider. >> Tomb Raider 2001.
00:50:24
>> So, here's So, Angelina, this is the Chinese Theater. >> Angelina. >> There's all this crowd on the other side
00:50:32
of the street yelling for her. Or anyone that gets out of a car they go, come sign [ __ ] and take pictures.
00:50:37
So, I tell the guy I'm going to jog over, so they send someone with you so you don't
00:50:42
get killed. So, I run over, not everyone does. I run over on one end and I start signing and taking pictures.
00:50:48
Angelina pulls up behind me, she crosses and we ran into each other in the middle and
00:50:55
that's when she said, gave me a hug and said, I like that coat. Can you believe it? Of course I remember
00:51:01
that. Forever. Angelina, I know she had some friction with Brad, but I will say that moment I was
00:51:09
>> Friction? >> I was starstruck >> Uh-huh. Uh, she's great. >> Nick. >> She's a great actress, great artist.
00:51:17
>> Mhm. >> I'm not trying to get Brad mad at me. I'm not. >> That's a good plan.
00:51:22
>> friend. >> [laughter] >> That's a good plan. >> Brad's got to come on here, what is
00:51:27
going on? Where is Brad? Next time, next movie. >> Yeah, yeah, we'd love to have him on.
00:51:33
>> He's a crack >> awesome. >> He's a fun guy, he'd be funny. Okay, so is that it or we go one more? What do
00:51:39
you want to do? >> I'll leave it to Heather and Greg. >> [laughter] >> Heather says one more and she's boiling
00:51:45
too in my boiling >> but feel free to chime in. >> I look cool in this shirt. I couldn't
00:51:51
put a t-shirt on. What's this doofy dog doing? Is that a dog? >> It's an alligator dog.
00:51:56
>> I like it already. Okay, go ahead. >> All right. >> What does it say? >> I don't know. Jeopardy.
00:52:07
She's waiting for food. >> What does it say, Heather? Are you going to get glasses for them?
00:52:11
>> Waiting for mom to Google if I can have some of whatever she's eating. >> That's it. Looks like an alien.
00:52:19
>> Okay, stop. >> like it's just a head and doesn't have a body. It's slightly creepy.
00:52:25
>> That one's not anything. That was a mistake. I didn't submit that. I don't I don't
00:52:29
know. >> That was so nothing. It was something. >> Yeah. Uh let's instead of ending with that
00:52:35
clanking turd, let's do one more. >> Okay, bring on the clanking turd. >> No, man.
00:52:41
>> All right. >> Black black mirror episode 4 just filed a patent for a car that turns into your
00:52:46
debt collector. This is episode 2 of the kill switch economy. It's 100% US patent
00:52:51
number 2023 >> I put a kill switch in my car. >> the title systems and methods to
00:52:57
repossess a vehicle assigned to Ford Global Technologies. >> This makes sense. So, the new cars,
00:53:03
yeah. >> the car starts disabling itself. Cruise control, windows, >> repossess it.
00:53:09
>> do it remotely. >> air conditioning, key fob, door locks. And the car can be programmed to an I'm
00:53:15
quoting here. >> Heather, they already shut your air conditioning off. >> Wow. >> every time the owner is present in the
00:53:20
vehicle. If it's an autonomous car, >> I think it drives it back. >> it can move itself to a nearby
00:53:25
>> It can drive it back. >> the car is not worth them repossessing, it can drive itself to a junkyard. So,
00:53:30
when people found this, Ford came out and said, "We have no plans at all of releasing this."
00:53:33
>> All right, that's enough. No, no, no, no. Uh that's >> repo man cannot get a sequel unless they
00:53:39
update it. >> Well, it's partially why they don't want you to like in California, they want you to
00:53:45
only drive classic cars on weekends and ultimately just don't drive them because
00:53:51
they want to make sure you get a new one, then you can keep track of it. But the old ones are cool. Gas, drive
00:53:58
wherever you want. Last, freedom. And then it'll soon turn into you made your you didn't make your
00:54:05
payment kill switch. >> AI is infiltrating us, man. >> I had a kill switch on my old
00:54:13
um I think my Grand National because I think I would do it when I would go out at night, I would hit the put the
00:54:20
kill switch so that they couldn't jump it or something. I don't know. It wasn't It wasn't where I could do it
00:54:26
remotely cuz it wasn't invented yet, so. >> A lot of times big big huge celebrities will, you know,
00:54:34
have a like 1971 Dodge Dart or something, you [laughter] know, cuz they just want to blend.
00:54:40
>> I've got an old F250, '72. It's juicy. Green light. >> to have a canary yellow convertible,
00:54:49
John Lovitz, our friend, Rolls-Royce that he would drive around in. >> Canary He still has a Rolls-Royce.
00:54:56
>> Does he still have the Rolls-Royce? Hello. >> He has a blue Every car he has is blue. He has
00:54:59
probably six cars. They're all blue. >> And it was a convertible. >> Get in, losers.
00:55:05
>> I know. Just like He was like a permanent Macy's Day Parade. >> Uh okay, Dana. I appreciate you stopping
00:55:12
by. >> Thanks for coming on my show. >> And we will see you next time. All right, listen. If you're enjoying
00:55:23
the Fly on the Wall, of course, hopefully you are, click follow. We don't want to be desperate, but
00:55:28
obviously smash that goddamn button on your favorite podcast app. Leave a review, a good one. Leave a five-star
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rating, nothing else. >> Whoops. >> And maybe even share an episode with [music] a friend. If you're watching
00:55:42
this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. Dana, what do you think? >> I'm going to tell you this right now.
00:55:47
Hear me now, believe me later. >> [laughter] >> Fly on the Wall, believe it or not, is
00:55:52
presented by Odyssey [music] and executive produced by Hold For It, Dana Carvey and David Spade or David
00:55:59
Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't [music] write this stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holman, and Leah Reese Dennis.
00:56:08
The show is edited by Evan Cox with production support from Phil SweetTech. Talent production and booking by Sophia
00:56:16
Laporte.