00:00:00
[Music] is it true there's a bowl of vicadin in the wait room by the door no there used
00:00:08
to be they crack down on that oh that's a good I might have to come over we have them here in a little
00:00:16
bowl we can't [Music] get okay guys we're already laughing it's spade and uh Carvey and we're
00:00:28
starting Superfly yeah we're always in a good mood on Superfly always chuckling
00:00:34
away look at me I got a green background my hair is really like too it's like a
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helmet well it actually looks kind of movie movie star ready I would say you know you could play kind of a badass
00:00:48
with that hair like you know with a gun and stuff like threat oh actually working on a new impression I'm going to
00:00:52
do it for you at the end okay so what uh now usually we haven't seen each other
00:00:57
in a few days so what what's been going on with you what year you always weekend
00:01:01
some weird thing happened I'm still doing my tour I so I was in Spokan this weekend beautiful crowd uh I stayed at
00:01:09
the hotel right next to it and so every single person in that hotel was at the show I'm walking around oh my God your
00:01:17
show is unbelievable blah blah blah blah you're genius blah blah best show better
00:01:23
than anyone else no no you're the best blah blah everyone else is horrible blah blah so
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whatever I don't even remember uh but I remember that part uh so anyway someone
00:01:36
goes you from Spokan big star Sydney Sweeney I go oh yeah she is big star oh she's from here she isn't really
00:01:43
shocking everyone's from somewhere and you know that girl she's an Euphoria
00:01:47
okay she's a big deal she's in um in two movies out right now so I said oh great
00:01:52
and then uh and then Bobby's downstairs with some guys they're like we were we
00:01:57
yeah my opener Bobby mimoda and they said oh uh we love soccer you talk about in youra by the way his sister's a big
00:02:04
star here and he goes oh and then he kept saying it so he finally goes who Sydney Sweeney how do you like them
00:02:12
apples and he's like she is a big star so I go to the airport and I go to the
00:02:17
driver Lally said how do you like them apples yeah and that's a good way to you
00:02:21
know let them know like I wasn't bullshitting okay and I say to the driver uh I heard his [ __ ] about
00:02:27
Sydney Sween goes oh yeah I did a play with her I'm like by the way I'm sure
00:02:32
the the play uh business is Big up in you know Spokan Washington Spokan outskirts yeah so I said oh great so I
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get on my flight and the uh and the lady from United it's like you know blah blah I
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heard the show is great blah blah whatever and then she goes oh you know who's on your flight Sydney Sweeney I go
00:02:53
I I can't hear more about this girl so I get on and lo and behold how about them
00:03:00
apples she's sitting right behind me wait a minute Sydney Sweeney is in Spokane after all this and she's sitting
00:03:08
behind you yeah there she is see that gorgeous so she's sitting behind me with
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like your boyfriend or or something and uh actually she she was in in coach but her boobs were in first anyway can you
00:03:20
say that uh oh canell I mean I mean I have to throw in one boob joke she's very lovely I mean she's displaying them
00:03:28
if we don't notice them that would be kind of odd I mean you know yeah I think
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they were uh buried in the hoodie in this trip but uh she had her hat down so the stupid story is my I lose I don't
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say anything to her I don't know what to say you know what's her to say hey are
00:03:42
we both in ch is big fan big fan I could have said that yeah that's a that's a
00:03:47
good one Everyone likes that that's fine uh but it was just awkward I don't
00:03:51
know what to say so I lose my Five Hour Energy you know the one of those little things yeah and it's a big Panic for me
00:03:57
so I'm on the ground looking and so I crawl around and I go hey you guys see
00:04:01
if I energy on these parts and then uh she's like you're on all fours crawling
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down the aisle before before takeoff yeah no during the flight during the flight you're on all four okay yeah and
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everyone's like quit looking for attention and I was but I was looking really for this right and then she goes
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no and then she goes do you do a show here and I go yeah and everyone's like
00:04:22
you from s sweetie and she goes oh I know and I go I actually met your brother uh I guess
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does he live here and she goes well he's in the Army and I go is he not here and
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she goes no and I'm like well guy some guy that's his claim to fame is he's
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lying about that the funniest thing to lie about did the whole plane break out into
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Sydney Sweeney swey but she's from Spokan Washington I was thought from Spokan British I
00:04:57
thought we land no she's a she's a British All American all right and we land and I've
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got the whole plane involved now cuz some lady in the back goes found it found my [ __ ] stupid 5 Hour hands
00:05:14
it down pass Sydney I get it everyone's touching it everyone's touching smothered in Co and omnicron and I shake
00:05:22
and I go it's a little light I guess you took a few gulps that's your reward [ __ ] crickets then what a
00:05:32
flight no one laughs and then I I I we're about to leave and uh anyway the the point of this whole story which is
00:05:39
absolutely none is that okay we're both on dog [ __ ] Delta you know whatever fine we're on
00:05:46
some P jumper but the the point of the story is she is hosting SNL this week I didn't know that and she didn't say it
00:05:53
huh and and I have a feeling she didn't either want to brag or does not know I
00:05:57
was on SNL which is very like lik she's she's maybe 24 she's probably 20 yeah
00:06:04
four we'll look it up but it doesn't matter uh and uh in those situations I
00:06:11
don't really introduce myself sometimes I say hey I'm David but when you meet
00:06:15
other people do you say your name Dana go uh no no because I'm I'm I've always
00:06:22
been at the like if I walked around dress as G I get a lot more attention you don't I can change my like what in
00:06:29
my face right now and then and then asse I have sunglasses on like who's this
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right you can't tell I can hide myself in plain sight but I'll get people
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sometimes on a flight they'll be are you uh are you uh who I think you are are
00:06:44
you that are you that guy or you are I go what Jesus they go no are you a are you the main guy Jesus but I I don't
00:06:54
judge I once if they take me and it's like hey uh you know it's a 7-hour
00:07:00
flight elbow to Elbow hey uh how do you guys uh come up with those those sketches you do on that on that Saturday
00:07:08
Night Live there show you know so I I I I give into it we have drinks we talk and we go over the history of SNL then I
00:07:15
said I left 49 years ago they ask if you're still on the guy says well that's not so fun the funniest
00:07:23
one I had was first class on Virgin America years ago big club seats giant seats but Paul bun sat next to me I'm
00:07:30
not saying anybody fat I'm saying a triple-sized man with shorts calves this
00:07:37
big he took the whole thing they came around for ordering and he said I I one of each so he he got every entree I'll
00:07:46
have them all I'll have them all had the sandwich the lasagna the thing so if you
00:07:51
get stuck next to Paul bunion Just Go With It you go and he goes you going to eat that cookie you eat that cookie you
00:07:59
going to eat that cookie Sling Blade Sling Blade some folks call it a sling blade how much you
00:08:07
want for them I'll take the ters I'll always I'll always do Billy Bob thoron if I'm ass I
00:08:14
was pushing you to do sling light uh by the way Dana talk about tough guy I know
00:08:19
I'm not that tough and on TV I come off like a hard ass tough guy athlete definely but in real life we're not
00:08:26
showing enough for my sweater looks like it's from the [ __ ] Gap but uh the
00:08:31
Happy Days called and wants their wardrobe back that's this show from 1978 old reference lost on younger
00:08:41
viewers okay I'm driving my 95 Land Cruiser which I don't want to say how
00:08:46
old I am but I bought it new I bought it new I wasn't old but I bought it new so
00:08:51
95 had this whole time I'm driving down the street the other night when it's
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starting to rain it Con out on me at a light on Sunset now there's two lanes so
00:09:02
I'm in the left lane which is the faster Lane you know conks out H I can't get it
00:09:07
going I'm like now it's raining I I get out of the car I look around and I go
00:09:13
back to my uh crummy days and I was like a bus boy and I have old cars you know from 16 years old like
00:09:20
25 and I always had had to push start them or jump them or so this would happen a lot so I open the door and
00:09:29
and I and and car's like skidding and now it's raining and I don't want to get
00:09:33
hit I can't leave it with the hazards in the middle of the lane so I start rocking it I put it
00:09:40
neutral and I start yanking you know you don't have power steering in this situation so I yank it so L Cruiser
00:09:46
you're trying to push yes with my pin arms stick legs I do have Carry Underwood calves we know that but I'm
00:09:53
pushing come from the calves and I start to go I got a green light I'm going to
00:09:57
go and try to take an illegal left cuz it was slightly more downhill to go to the left than the right but slightly
00:10:02
like this barely and I go there's no way I can push it up even if it's one inch
00:10:08
so I rock it and it moves and I start to push it like a [ __ ] monster I'm pushing no one gives a fat [ __ ] they're
00:10:15
all just like beeping and get out of the way and I'm like no one's helping I'm in
00:10:18
grownups help me no one cares just shoot me guy I'm bench for so I I get in the middle then
00:10:30
wrong [Music] Miss llama and they don't help me and now I'm in the middle of light and I'm resting
00:10:39
and now no one can go and so I hold up my hand International sign of don't run
00:10:44
me over whatever I start rocking it again I turn on my car andwood Cals and I start to go left with no one's helping
00:10:52
none and I help people I've actually jumped out and help people and I start to turn and then I crank I get in and
00:10:58
crank rank the wheel get out again again everyone's like what's going on that guy
00:11:04
looks like he's in a they go who is that girl so anyway why are you letting even if you
00:11:10
think of a girl Thomas why are you letting a girl push it they're like Meg Ryan's in trouble so because I have a
00:11:17
hat on I'm like so anyway I finally get it over somewhere and I just get out of
00:11:23
the [ __ ] now they go Sydney Sweeney's in trouble she got a bob well you know I'm glad you made it safe
00:11:32
I've had you know we've had a lot of rain in California and uh it's just a
00:11:38
mess I mean I'm I'm going out in the rain I'm walking to my car and the grass
00:11:42
is like soaked so it's like you know and then the I open the door I don't know if it's the rust and
00:11:49
the rain like you know so I get in the seat it's leather so you know I I'm a safe driver
00:11:56
so I check the rearview mirror you know yeah and I put the windoe wipers on because it's pouring
00:12:06
rain you know what I mean I mean and then I went to a shop and they had a guy with a drill what would he sound
00:12:13
like that tire gun Tire gun then I went over to the band this is a character I used to do
00:12:23
called sound Effy and sometimes you use the same effect for different things so I turn on the radio right
00:12:30
you only got four I switch gears you know what's a good one is Win wipers when they go it's like so loud
00:12:39
but when it's dry they go they come back they're like [ __ ] dude it's not raining you're stressing me out
00:12:49
justy put the seat [Music] back when I get in my car I have like I have like 18 seat adjustments I'm like
00:12:58
this [Music] you don't have it all preset you're [Music] just oh boy well oh boy um give me in a
00:13:10
news story and I'll I'll do this me to do that any Story one story came up is a a pregnant
00:13:19
Stingray I don't know if we have a picture there's a stingray that got pregnant named
00:13:24
Charlotte in North Carolina okay let me see and they don't know how oh it's the
00:13:30
Virgin Stingray yeah okay well okay here solved no I are you gonna play it or no
00:13:39
I don't think so it's just a sray that's very cute it was in an aquarium full of
00:13:45
sharks so they didn't know how there's no other stingrays in it that's the
00:13:49
story so it's like a Immaculate Conception so as a beetle would say it well you know there was a little you
00:13:56
know a little Aqua creature you know know that has a stinger they call the sting race you she's a lady but she's
00:14:03
with shocks and they don't they don't ever get together you know the Shar
00:14:07
doesn't go how would you be my girlfriend never happens but all of a sudden she's preg is going to give her
00:14:13
babies right and they don't know how know how they don't know how see the key if
00:14:21
anyone's listening the key to doing a beetle accent is always sound like you're ask asking a question hey hey
00:14:28
Paul did you go to the store I told you I went to the store did you go or not I just told you I went to the store oh
00:14:39
thing you did or cut it out oh I like it I just told you these are three comments that I thought were funny on
00:14:47
the uh Story one said oh uh has anyone uh checked if it's one of Nick Cannon's kids it's kind of
00:14:56
funny right that's good yeah and uh maybe a bad one maybe it it comes back as Steve Irwin or maybe he's the dad
00:15:05
remember Steve Irwin oh my God yes that's a little dark I I was on The Tonight Show with him
00:15:11
great guy Australian guy it's always good to bring a tragedy into a joke comment and then uh the last one was oh
00:15:20
it's the sturgeon Mary sturge and Mary that's not bad H they yeah there's better I here's my new
00:15:28
story and I don't know if it's true but when Biden is given a speech and stuff
00:15:32
he's got his staff backstage and sometimes President Biden will go off the teleprompter and Mand her about and
00:15:39
his staff gets very emotional about it you know like oh my he's off the teleprompter he's off the teleprompter
00:15:43
so I don't know if this is true but some one of them knew Nicholas Cage so they
00:15:47
bring in Nicholas Cage backstage and he expresses how emotionally they are he's
00:15:53
like sort of a therapy guest so Biden's out there and then I you know the dog
00:15:57
and we went out the river and then the staff's going no no and Nicholas Cage
00:16:01
goes all right and he drops to his knees and goes why God why that was a long way to
00:16:10
go I like it how do you know where we went but we I don't know it's just something funny
00:16:17
if you're ever upset about anything you get audited by the IRS you just call
00:16:21
Nicholas Cage why the mother of God that's he probably says that in every movie let's look at this JLo came
00:16:29
out with something this isn't even a big story it's just JLo came out with
00:16:33
a else godamn this is me it's a it's an album in a movie yeah right hybrid uh runs on electricity it's a
00:16:46
hybrid something and it's a movie Doc album and she was in the donuts commercial I wish I think she's in so
00:16:54
much she just needs to take off like just disappear for like a whole day if I didn't see her for a whole day I would
00:17:00
be like oh okay now I miss her but she is really but that in your grill and she's
00:17:07
good she's good she's very good uh she's gorgeous so somebody decided to use her
00:17:14
husband's Duncan donut commercial against her in in a review it's just water did yeah her her album is as
00:17:24
watery as the Dunkin Donuts thing where Matt d really funny says how do you like them
00:17:30
Donuts because he said I like them apples in Goodwill Hunting oh i k did a standup bit about it yeah so I so
00:17:41
there's they're going out of their way to kick her in the balls about the
00:17:43
donuts commercial on oh my God it's a it's it's a mashup they they take a dig
00:17:50
at Ben and her Jennifer by mashing the Dunkin Donuts versus The Thing I like you know for people not in Show Business
00:17:57
it's really hard I mean Jennifer Lopez is just incredibly to stay that fit just
00:18:04
that and you got to be camera ready every time you leave your house and then she does albums she's jumping singing
00:18:09
she does movies you know what are you gonna do her skin is like pretend I don't know there's no wrinkles there's
00:18:15
nothing she's gorgeous yeah all right right now we have a surprise guest on Superfly o
00:18:23
Jason Jason Kelsey uhuh oh and we're gonna after Jason we're going to go look
00:18:32
at some fan Impressions and do a little critique and give some notes and things oh great let's do it that's our
00:18:37
[Music] show so because it's a new year and everyone has their resolutions I I was going to try working out then I
00:18:55
didn't even try that one but I am going to eat better and I think that's the key
00:18:58
eating what you want and also I'm into the new world of having stuff delivered
00:19:05
and if it's really good there's a place called good chop where they have really
00:19:09
good meats they also have seafood and it comes right to your door and that's kind of what I'm looking for
00:19:18
yeah year because I I thought of this phrase a while back that energy is the new high so energy is a great feeling
00:19:26
and when you eat um high protein meals like steaks free range organic chicken breast this is all you get with good
00:19:36
chop plus sustainable and wild CAU Seafood salmon which I eat a lot of Pacific Cod scallop shrimp and more yeah
00:19:45
good chop offers fully customizable boxes of high quality meat and seafood delivered to your door on your schedule
00:19:52
they're vacuum sealed Frozen at Peak freshness you stock them up cook them when you want want they have over 70
00:19:59
high quality cuts that you were just talking about I am a shrimps guy you're
00:20:05
a shrimps guy I like shrimps and I like uh the prime filet Manan pretty pretty standard stuff but they do it right um
00:20:17
and I think it would benefit our audience because I talked to some of our audience and a lot of them eat food and
00:20:23
so I said you know what this is for you it sources its meat from uh and seafood exclusively from American Farms and
00:20:31
Fisheries so you're supporting local and how about this price per meal starts at
00:20:38
374 not 374 like you would think because you live in Beverly Hills but it's $3.74 that's unbelievable a whole meal
00:20:47
you you've gone to the grocery store lately got you nothing 37 six items that'll be
00:20:53
$138 would you like a bag only items yeah no antibiotics no added hormones nope not going to do it nothing
00:21:06
artificial so they're confident they uh they offer 100% money back guarantee you
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got to love good chop or you get your money back go to goodshop.com Superfly 1220 and use code Superfly 1220
00:21:22
the number is1 120 and get $120 off across your first four boxes that's code Superfly 120 at
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00:21:41
Superfly 1220 code super [Music] 120 ladies and gentlemen our next guest is our first first and only guest on
00:21:59
Superfly considered one of the national football league's greatest centers of
00:22:03
all time six time first team All Pro seven time Pro Bowl Super Bowl champion Mr [Music]
00:22:15
J Kel thanks for having me guys that's a hell of an intro right there you kidding
00:22:22
all all comedians love athletes we love people who are actually Brave and bump into things and we're just this is a
00:22:29
feminine job let's face it look at our hair D we like little girls I think uh I think all athletes
00:22:38
wish they were performers of some kind whether it was you know musical artists or comedians you know we grew up
00:22:43
watching you guys and um you know I think comedians are you know I I for me going out there and bashing my brain
00:22:50
into somebody seems relatively um normal uh getting up on stage and talking in front of mil in front of a bunch of
00:22:58
people and letting your soul out there is a whole another level of uh of uh I don't know putting yourself out there so
00:23:04
anyway me it terrifies me stand up I had years of stage fright David was a natural just
00:23:10
came out and blasted it but I was I was just panicked all day I was gonna ask you like did you ever line up against a
00:23:16
nose tackle where you went holy [ __ ] this is the biggest guy I've ever faced
00:23:21
because they go 350 is anyone ever more than 350 lbs trying to kill you sure really yeah I mean so usually they'll be
00:23:29
listed still about 350 but I know like V I've played him a bunch and I know from
00:23:35
talking to guys in Tampa Bay he'll regularly be pushing 400 lb on the scales and yeah there's there's there's
00:23:41
games where I'm giving up 100 pounds to the guy across from me um and what's
00:23:45
your strategy yeah well hopefully they call plays where I get to utilize my Speed and Agility against guys like that
00:23:51
but some of those guys are really good you know I think um for me my um I guess strength was definitely second level
00:23:59
blocking so blocking linebackers safey down the field so um you know Jeff Stalin our offensive line coach uh
00:24:07
really would try and get me up there he knew that you know it was not a good proposition for a game plan to have me
00:24:13
manned up on a 400 pound guy all game long so he would design plays with the uh emphasis of trying to get me up to
00:24:21
the second level so I I got to appreciate my coach for not putting me in too many bad situations after 400b
00:24:28
Comedians and it's hard I know I mean because then you go to The Green Room you go where's my
00:24:34
dinner and they go it's gone I I just want to bring this up based on what you
00:24:37
just said Jason yeah I looked at the combine because I know how brothers are I've got three older brothers and
00:24:43
there's competition there but in one key metric which I thought was interesting
00:24:48
and goes to your ability on the football field the 20 yard shuttle you were 414 your brother Travis was four
00:24:58
042 so that's the ability to go five yards this way five yards that way which
00:25:04
is kind of was your super Talent as a as a speed yeah yeah you hit it you hit it
00:25:11
the nail in the head right there I mean my brother was probably better than his time that drill is as much about Speed
00:25:17
and Agility as it is kind of your preparation for it if you hit the steps and the turns properly you're going to
00:25:24
have a better time Travis knowing him he just went out there and ran fast as he could still a good time but he could
00:25:30
have been better I'm guaranteeing that but my yeah my that was defin and that's
00:25:35
been one of the metrics to gauge especially um your centers or your more agility driven lineman that you want to
00:25:42
have on your team the 20- yard shuttle is a great metric to determine which guys are going to be good at
00:25:48
thatc that's the only metric Dana I would talk about at the dinner table if I was chasing that's all I got BR he's
00:25:55
bringing up super bowls and Pro yeah no it's uh I'll I'll I'll it's it's
00:26:00
something nice to have at least I got one thing and you know and I I watched a lot of your highlights last night and
00:26:05
you're like the wide sweep you're out there sprinting like really fast you got
00:26:09
wait a minute that guy's the center he's like 20 yards over that way so it's very
00:26:14
interesting for me to figure that out but it always seemed like a tough a tough position especially the pressure
00:26:20
of hiking the ball to the punter you know or a field goal I mean and those are like 20 yards how far and you're
00:26:27
yeah so I mean you have to have nerves of steel or how do you calm yourself down at that moment is it just reps yeah
00:26:36
I mean like everything the more practice you get your the nerves are always the highest whenever it's the first time
00:26:41
you're doing something right like the first NFL start you're going to be like
00:26:44
man what is this going to feel like I've never done this before your first time
00:26:47
playing a premier player you're like I don't know how this is going to go your
00:26:51
first time run a play that you've never run right those are kind of always where
00:26:54
the nerves are the most heightened so whether it's practi practice or game reps the more repetitions you get the
00:27:00
more those nerves subside um yeah I mean Center is a position I think a lot of guys want to play until they have a bad
00:27:08
snap like we had a buddy of mine play guard and he's like man Center you you
00:27:13
guys are double teaming a lot you know you're not manned up as much and you know I wish I played a little bit of
00:27:18
that and then he got pushed in at Center and had a couple bad snaps he's like man
00:27:21
I never want to play center again like it is dude you have two jobs you you you like and then you got to look up and go
00:27:27
oh wait now the guy bashes my brains in I forgot about that I know you have just
00:27:31
one hand down so everyone else is like a gorilla like and you got one down and one's concentrated on that and then here
00:27:38
the field goal for the win and here it is it's over his head what a [ __ ] show
00:27:43
the game is over the [ __ ] it up the CER Center the center of Universal Pain this
00:27:52
yeah and it's a it's a it's a the snap is like a foregone conclusion
00:27:56
everybody's expectation is that the snap is going to be perfect every time the
00:28:00
reality is it's not and um the uh unfortunate thing is when it does happen in a crucial situation or a game online
00:28:07
I mean it's there's no getting away from that one now you're also such a you're
00:28:12
in the the chain of command like nothing happens till you do that and the the quarterback is up there A lot of times
00:28:18
all the teams in the NFL it seems very sophisticated as a casual fan and they're calling audibles and I remember
00:28:24
there going thinking really he's going to do that does he know what doing do
00:28:28
you have a question in your head what the audible is you just audible him and say I'm calling an audible over your
00:28:34
Audible and I'm not hiking it yet we well it's it it has happened before
00:28:39
there's some so there's some audibles that are more Geared for the back end of
00:28:44
the defense for the quarterback and there's some audibles that are more Geared for the front which is more what
00:28:49
I'm seeing so there are there have been times with every quarterback I've played
00:28:53
where I've been like no no no this isn't the look that we want to kill this play
00:28:56
t the the look we want to run this run too uh but in passing game um he's taken
00:29:01
full control um and there's times where you know the quarterback at all times
00:29:06
has final say you can't have two guys up there like no no we should do this no we
00:29:11
should do that no we should so you give that to the quarterback everybody if the
00:29:15
quarterback wants to do something that's what we're doing and there's times where
00:29:18
especially in like a blitz pickup where he'll send the protection in a specific
00:29:22
Direction and you're like H I'm pretty positive it's coming from over here and
00:29:27
you might relay that if he uh at the end of the day though if he wants to go over
00:29:31
here the most important thing is that the quarterback knows where he's hop from where he wants to deliver the ball
00:29:35
to so yeah that does happen from time to time you okay go ahead David I just want
00:29:41
to know we're just so excited Jason we're very excited the huddles must because when I see a huddle and I I
00:29:49
could imagine being it's like 22 zipper drive and then they just go if I was the
00:29:54
receiver I'm like wait what happened am I the zipper in this because yeah everyone just gets it right every single
00:29:59
time and I think how well they don't they do not unfortunately that's what it
00:30:02
seems like okay caterpillar one yeah and you go what's happening they go booty
00:30:08
Liquor on five and you go is this a play or is he talking to me so I don't know
00:30:13
because what do you listen for in the play do you have to get any instructions or is it absolutely yeah you you you get
00:30:19
used to listening to the portion of the play that pertains to you and for the center really the whole thing other than
00:30:26
the route concept C is important to you like you need to know the formation you need to know the snap count you need to
00:30:31
know what the play is that we're running if it's a run play or a pass play in the
00:30:36
protection or run concept um everybody gets in tune to listening to the things that are important for their job right
00:30:44
um the quarterback obviously having the ultimate uh and tight ends to a certain extent of needing to listen to
00:30:50
everything and that's why those guys tend to be the most knowledgeable throughout the entire offense they Jam
00:30:56
their head in farther in that huddle some just kind of kick back on the side yeah the tackles are like just give me
00:31:02
what the uh 62 got it you know they don't care about the half of the Stu has
00:31:06
the has it gotten more sophisticated because I'm from the 60s you know John Brody and the 49ers I swear they would
00:31:12
go Hut one Hut two but nowadays it seems like Brock pie says what's up what's up
00:31:18
what's up but what is he saying is he saying what's up yeah I don't know Brock
00:31:23
P specific one I know uh Dak Prescott does um oh my gosh it's uh we were joking about this all season I camp soup
00:31:31
Campell soup Campell soup yeah there's I I would say in some ways it's gotten
00:31:35
less convoluted because to to David your point the more words you have in the play call Yeah the more chance
00:31:43
somebody's going to miss something so now so now there's kind of been a move
00:31:49
back to like how can we simplify these things with code words or words that we use all the time so that players the
00:31:57
moment they hear that they know okay got it I know what this concept is and you can shrink it down into one two-word
00:32:03
phrases so at the line of scrimmage though the snap count it's so specific to each team most of the time you want a
00:32:09
lead in right so whatever it is if it's yeah a hut hut hike right for us it's
00:32:15
color numberb say white 80 white 80 sit Hut the reason you don't just go up there and say sit Hut is because
00:32:20
everybody be jumping off sides you got that little lead in like Hey we're getting ready we're getting ready here
00:32:25
it comes bow right is it or is every play he says what it's going on and then you don't want them to hear
00:32:34
correct yeah it's either in the Huddle or at the line of scrimmage there'll be
00:32:36
code words to let you know like if for no huddle he'll say you know whatever
00:32:40
the code word is when I was with uh Howard mud it was like pink and then a two-digit number and the first digit was
00:32:47
always what it was on so it was like you know pink 15 it was on one you know pink
00:32:51
32 it was on three so you you kind of would try and think at any time you could say you didn't know you hey pink
00:32:58
pink and somebody he 32 and then you knew it was on three right so there's all sorts of codes and different ways to
00:33:05
figure out at the line of scrimmage or in the Huddle there's just on three hey
00:33:11
on one on Three so that's that's why I got out of the game uh I played flag
00:33:18
football and I loved it we had plays we had ready break I in fifth sixth grade I
00:33:23
was the halfback um and then tackle football came in at 5'1 91 lbs freshman in high school I look like a fetus with
00:33:32
shoes so I they said there's a cross country team no one will hit you so I went out that way but there's a question
00:33:38
I have for you like and yeah professional athletes in general so you finished the game and you've gotten your
00:33:45
ass kicked I think the sound has gotten better I don't know what it is but I
00:33:48
feel the violence or maybe the TVs are better I really feel the violence or hear it bone cracking mcaffry is going
00:33:56
up and he just so what what is your protocol to to get healed do you have a team do you get a massage you go in the
00:34:03
sauna I mean what is there a whole metric that you go through to see if you're hurt first of all and whatever
00:34:09
like what do you what's your what do you do yeah if if you have an acute injury
00:34:13
you're seeing the trainer to see if you need treatment on it or how bad it is
00:34:17
you might need an MRI or an x-ray to determine whether you're okay anything outside of that a bruise
00:34:23
or just general soreness you have kind of anything your disposal that some every guy likes different things um I
00:34:31
was big into sauna I was big into massage um lifting weights always made me feel better because it naturally kind
00:34:37
of pumps the blood in there uh some guys love acupuncture some guys love Chiropractic uh stuff some guys love uh
00:34:45
is it true there's a bowl of Vicodins in the weight room by the door no there
00:34:49
used to be there is they crack down on that oh that's a good I might have to
00:34:53
come over we have them here a little bowl can't get to you but they always say that this time of year everyone's
00:35:03
beaten up this is when the playoffs start everyone's beaten up so everyone's
00:35:07
nurturing something and it just feels uh I just want to duvail into what I mean we all know you have a decision to make
00:35:15
whether you're going to retire or and so and also what I've read about is that
00:35:21
the adrenal Rush of being a professional football player and the camaraderie is such an intense life that then people go
00:35:30
outside of that and where are they going to get that rush so we would vote for Show Business of any way you want to be
00:35:37
in it because we think it's an emotionally violent sport like if I get off this podcast I'll be thinking ah I
00:35:44
talk too much or I should ask that question so are you what do you think are you going to be in the booth you're
00:35:49
G to go on movies maybe or or you going to go back and play for the Eagles you have 10 seconds yeah okay here we go um
00:35:56
we need a I don't know yeah think that's a good that's what I'm I'm trying to
00:36:01
figure it out right now there's right now exploring different opportunities if
00:36:05
I end up retiring uh still working out and staying in shape if I end up playing again um but that's what I've heard from
00:36:12
all the former players is you know when you're playing it's like this every week
00:36:15
right it's oh we just won oh we just got our ass kicked oh we just we're in the
00:36:19
playoffs oh we're out like it's it's very much that's the life you're in and
00:36:23
it's play byplay like that as well and um all these guys when they get done it's like man you're just kind of here
00:36:29
man you you very rarely get these Peaks and you got to find a way to kind of get
00:36:34
that as much man yeah hey I mean some guys get into it for real into it well maybe this is a good time uh I
00:36:43
don't want to keep you too long but you have shown um capability as a performer
00:36:50
uh I think the the underdog speech uh as you know you must been told about I mean it it was like not like a
00:36:59
football player given a speech it had Rhythm it had timing I don't know if you
00:37:03
wrote it but the list of it and then the what underdogs are I mean it's it's very
00:37:08
show busy so I could see you very organically when you want to retire I mean we you want to can we take a look
00:37:15
at it we just have a little of it let's do it can't block Bill too old gry gr was drafted too high
00:37:27
z c got it oh can't fit thee can't fit the catch are you doing Aladdin on
00:37:37
Broadway after this aadd in the Philadelphia Edition here we [Applause] go that's like to me Chris Farley as
00:37:53
close as I've seen to Chris Farley and it's such a great Rhythm um well I'm
00:37:58
going to do one as a comedian David Spade ain't funny Adam sand couldn't be
00:38:03
a movie star uh how did you think of that and also what the hell are you wearing
00:38:09
because it looks like a Wizard of Oz outfit or something sure um I guess I'll
00:38:13
start with what I'm wearing that's a in Philadelphia There's a parade MERS
00:38:17
parade and it's been done for a very long time and everybody dresses up in these ornate ridiculous costumes and
00:38:25
it's uh I think it has roots all the way back to Europe at some point but that's
00:38:30
something that happens every uh New Year's Day in Philadelphia and I figured
00:38:35
if if we're doing a Philadelphia parade I'll do a Philadelphia style and
00:38:39
fortunately there was a just perfect green Eagle colored version of that outfit available in my size but um and
00:38:48
then the speech um I couldn't after you win a Super Bowl you're you're it's such
00:38:54
a high right you're you're you're it's the Pinnacle of your career and you
00:38:57
start thinking about all the things you had to do to get there selfishly and then you start thinking about everything
00:39:04
your teammates had to do and your coaches and the city so it all really just came together very organically I
00:39:10
remember I would be up till 2 or three in the morning after the game and I didn't even know if I was going to get a
00:39:16
chance to make a speech to be honest with you but I just can't these narratives are floating around in my
00:39:21
head and I'm like waking my wife up and like hey what do you think about this
00:39:25
like what if I said something like that and she's like will you go to sleep like
00:39:29
why are you bothering me with this and um I I think I probably I I didn't really have a full thing written down
00:39:36
but I remember I was keeping track of different things and different guys and and what they had to do to overcome to
00:39:43
get to that moment uh that was the theme of the the team so there were just a lot
00:39:47
of things that came together organically for that to happen um but yeah it was it
00:39:52
was something that flowed out I mean I somehow managed to still get it together after an entire I don't know 40 blocks
00:40:01
of drinking beers and celebrating with fans and like it wasn't like I just walked up there there was like that was
00:40:07
like three hours in voice was a little uh thres exactly we were we had done enough uh spelling chants for the Eagles
00:40:14
I don't know the Eagles chant is e a g l e s Eagles I mean you don't get much
00:40:19
more like rudimentary than just spelling the word but gut over and spelling it so many sorry I have a question for Dana
00:40:31
no before we get to how many beers you've had which the over under is 40 um when when you this is a quick question
00:40:39
about this year's Super Bowl uh do you would you have known what to do in that
00:40:44
coin toss or did you know something was up with that coin toss or not uh you're
00:40:49
talking about the overtime decision yeah I mean we as a team have always talked about um for playoff over time meaning
00:40:57
the second team or the other team is guaranteed a possession yeah of kicking you want to have knowledge of what
00:41:04
you're trying to get that second possession um I have never I had never even heard of it uh described until Kyle
00:41:11
Shanahan went over it in his postgame press conference at the time I was like what are they doing why would they this
00:41:18
doesn't make sense to receive yeah uh but I think after Kyle saying that I mean there's there's logic behind it and
00:41:25
nobody was getting The End Zone if it goes field goal field goal you want to have the ball third um oh he's thinking
00:41:33
one more than that he's thinking one exactly they have the the reality is I think just
00:41:40
personally you would rather have you want to be the first team with the ability to end the game first because
00:41:46
you're in the driver seat as to be aggressive passive you have more I don't
00:41:52
know there's more just on the line with that second possession um I don't know
00:41:57
that it would have taken a lot probably for Kansas City to kick a field goal it would had to have been like a fourth and
00:42:02
like five plus I bet for them to relinquish the ball back to San Francisco after that I would bet yeah
00:42:09
but either way I think um you know I don't know what the analytics say I think you can kind of get those numbers
00:42:16
to say whatever you want I feel like like if you if if you want to uh you know be the team with the ball third you
00:42:23
find a way to skew them to say that if you want to be the time the team with the ball second you can
00:42:28
find a way to get him to say that um but uh I think that that was the first time
00:42:33
I'd really seen somebody with the mindset that they were going to receive first with these new overtime rules
00:42:39
being what they are and also the Niners would have to do prevent defense in a sense don't give them a touchdown and so
00:42:46
then you give that opening to Patrick and your and your brother and uh I I was watching it just as a Niner fan although
00:42:54
I'm a huge Kansas City fan and the Eagles as well and eag there we go but I uh I was like oh no and I told my wife I
00:43:02
go it's over you know Patrick and in that time frame four downs go go go they
00:43:09
were going so fast down the field too you're like God damn and San Francisco
00:43:12
is so slow inching and then they're just doing chunks and you go oh boy this is
00:43:17
it the moment they uh kicked the field goal I felt really confident that the Chiefs are going to go down and win it
00:43:24
uh just Patrick is so good in those situations yeah you know he gets more uh you know
00:43:29
everybody's talked about you know he gets four he gets four downs instead of
00:43:32
three to try and get a first down right and huge difference um so I think it was
00:43:37
you know and Sam Fran was gassed at that point I mean they' already put up a lot
00:43:41
and you know done a great job all game long uh but the the later in the game it gets the harder it gets for the defenses
00:43:49
to defend what's happening you know Jason I heard a rumor about Travis was yelling at Andy Reid during the game
00:43:56
game and I heard what he said the audio is off but someone came out he said why did you tell me to get out of Bitcoin is
00:44:04
that true um I don't know is Bitcoin up now I I feel like Andy probably 50 all a
00:44:13
again it's going money gosh dang it yeah he's an old school coach he wouldn't be
00:44:19
into the Bitcoin I well let's we we do an impression thing on here before we let you go first
00:44:24
of all go ahead this this came about because I ran into Jason just so people know that are listening it's a little
00:44:31
random but I saw him at the YouTube concert and uh Sandler wanted to say hi to him and uh I did too but we didn't
00:44:37
want to be weirdos so but we went over and we talked to him by the way Jason do you remember oh I sent you these could
00:44:44
say anything this is us this was awesome yeah and then uh and then I said I'll
00:44:49
take a picture of you and Adam with my phone and here's the two pictures I took
00:44:52
Dana do you have those Craig that's the one that's okay so that's the one that
00:44:57
worked we got another one so we we talked to him for a minute with how long's in there with there he's got the
00:45:02
athletes we have all the goofy comedians on our side uh and so Jason was very nice and uh we had a great time and then
00:45:11
uh the show was great Bono you know it there's so many 60th birthdays he's
00:45:16
giving shout outs for about 29 minutes because there was 300 people's because
00:45:21
everyone's old that goes to YouTube am I yeah he's going ah Rock happy birthday
00:45:28
as a p of beer you got someone up in the bleachers is 47 years of age in I booing
00:45:34
you I didn't mean to boo you oh there we go that's there go that's that's Spade's
00:45:38
first shot at these two Jason's like knock one out that's Sandler with a bad
00:45:43
faft and then I go no I got it now I fixed my camera here's the second one a completely blurry one uh I took
00:45:51
one that was a total disaster anyway Jason you were cool thank you and we're
00:45:55
going to end this by um wasting your time more because we have people submit Impressions yes and I don't think this
00:46:02
is you but I think it reminded us they said we should look at this one you went to the level of this character in your
00:46:09
speech so I haven't we haven't seen this but here's an impression of it we
00:46:12
haven't seen it I'm motivational speaker couple things about myself I'm 35 years
00:46:20
old recently divorced and I live in a van down by the river okay dud that was spot on that was good that's impressive
00:46:29
he really I got a few I have a few notes Jason um okay he was Thrice divorced ah not recently divorced uh but
00:46:38
I did like the movement I like the horseness of the voice which uh you had sort of down the tone was great tone was
00:46:46
great uh I think he rushed a little bit yeah yeah it just you want to say in a van down by the river take that little
00:46:55
pause really milk it and maybe when you get close to me bump your head into me that was a
00:46:59
nice I mean I guess uh Jason someone like you really can squat like like Farley could really he was a football
00:47:07
player in college right or high school but also the guy could if he could do a deeper Squat and do that move that Chris
00:47:14
does but it's really good uh What was the name of that guy I want to mention
00:47:19
him Craig we'll give him a shout out later in post his name is uh Dr Phil fine more doctor Dr Phil fine more did
00:47:29
someone just write stupid on my forehead sorry I'm late for your heart surgery I was working on my Christopher
00:47:36
walking impression and why ready now so Jason well uh it's been a pleasure I think the
00:47:45
world of uh professional athletes and the way you handle yourself you and your brother have a great podcast uh and um I
00:47:53
wish you all the best I think you can when you want to be either in the movies television or being in the booth uh
00:47:59
calling games or whatever you want to do I think you'll do great but I I know
00:48:03
what it's like we could leave like Daniel D Lewis could come back this year and make a movie and we go oh where was
00:48:08
he right five years once you're out you can't go back in basically it's a little
00:48:12
trickier exact unless you're Tom Brady he's still there's there's a room yeah
00:48:16
yeah he he will be welcome back at any time if he wants so did we help you inform your decision at all or will
00:48:22
you'll talk to your wife about Dana and D I have I've not thought too much of
00:48:26
Show Business I've thought a little bit about the booth and football stuff but
00:48:30
um I I appreciate you guys having me on uh this is such an honor to just talk to
00:48:34
both of you as I was telling David at the show I mean it was such a special moment to meet you guys uh and like the
00:48:41
the pedestal of uh Comedians and just uh just the peak of that craft it's it's
00:48:48
such an honor to even be on here and talk to you guys so thank you very much Dana thank you David thanks for having
00:48:53
me thank you all right we'll talk to you soon bud out in the real world sounds
00:48:58
[Music] good well that was fun Dana I love talking to him um awesome and he's very
00:49:11
informative and he's funny dude he's got his [ __ ] together it seems yeah I mean
00:49:16
it's just fun to talk to athletes it's such a Highwire lifestyle and to be a
00:49:20
center he's pretty funny just about lining up against giant people who want to kill him
00:49:26
it's so violent you know I actually was watching The Puppy Bowl a little bit
00:49:29
this year and I bet on one of them and it's always a bummer when they get hurt
00:49:36
they go into the blue tent you know pull a hammy and then they're out and that's
00:49:40
it there's all my money down the drain so real I have to ask just in case puy
00:49:46
is real sounds like it is real okay that's a good that's F it's literally
00:49:50
the hard to bet on because literally they just put all these cute puppies on like something looks like a football
00:49:54
field they just run around and poop and bark and it's adorable well I know there
00:50:00
is I don't think I I don't know if it's in every state but the toddler bowl and
00:50:04
they they just have a a diaper changing tent uh in the toddler they going coming
00:50:11
out number 31 is coming out he has to he just dropped the load in his diaper he's
00:50:15
got to get changed he's going to the blue tent we put a thousand babies on the football field see which one walks
00:50:22
to the goal line yeah which one looks the most like Sydney Sweeney she's our
00:50:27
theme guest today I know she's our themed because she's on SNL this week so
00:50:32
okay so let's uh let's look at some more Impressions we just saw a motivational
00:50:36
speaker was pretty good and we will go to the next one let's see what we think
00:50:41
all right this is Jonathan Emerling seen Dan and David three quick impressions for you impression number
00:50:50
one Jordan Peterson at the birth of his daughter I know three this is the the happiest I've ever
00:50:56
been in my life number two uh Nick Offerman relaying some disappointing news okay he
00:51:03
said no and impression number three is seus Snape sexually harassing Harry Potter Mr
00:51:12
Potter if you wish to pass this class I suggest you remove your blouse and underclothes
00:51:20
immediately thanks guys okay actually okay well first of all yeah offbeat Impressions you don't
00:51:30
hear a lot of Nick Offerman and what was the first one um I like the third one then the second
00:51:37
one then the first one so the first one was was Jordan Peterson oh okay that's
00:51:42
offbeat too that's that's definitely offbeat Jordan Peterson sort of has a high kind
00:51:48
of Canadian voice women don't like men that are too uh weak or baby them mine's
00:51:56
bad his was actually accurate it's good to do it it's sort of a a good way to do it you do you don't
00:52:03
go too long and you just get a hook in there that sounds kind of like him Nick Offman was like quick sounded like him
00:52:10
before you can tear it apart and you get worse you sounded like them you know yeah they're nice quick what I would
00:52:17
call Micro Impressions just right to the point so good job Jonathan uh the Hat was interesting gave you kind of a fve
00:52:26
Vibe necessary but it it makes I thought it was going to do or something maybe yeah yeah what I something with the hat
00:52:34
but uh it did I did like it okay let's see another one oh it's we've got a
00:52:38
young lady here this is Allison Mary Allison we haven't seen these hi Dana and David my name is Ally
00:52:46
and this is my impression of Jennifer kulage from Legally Blonde I'm taking the dog
00:53:00
dumbass you look like the Fourth of July that makes me want to have a hot dog real bad dumbass and this is my
00:53:10
impression of Jennifer kage from A Cinderella Story oh Sam you're not very pretty and you're
00:53:19
not very bright I'm so glad we had that talk thank you those the real lines funny yeah I thought that was good yeah
00:53:29
that that she nailed it I mean I thought that was a great Jennifer coolage tone was pretty good it kind of if you close
00:53:35
your eyes I thought she'd do a White Lotus one because that's kind of her
00:53:37
latest greatest hit I think you know but I'm stuck with she has a character that
00:53:42
she play Yeah remember she's on the boat yeah no she was incredible in that show yeah White Lotus Jennifer kage I'd
00:53:50
love to have her on the podcast either our Flagship or this one yeah Jennifer mhm Jennifer she's listening everyone's
00:53:59
listening um but that was a very uh just I had not heard a I had not heard a Jennifer coolage impression so that was
00:54:08
all right let's go to another one and then I got one for Dana okay let's go
00:54:11
this guy we don't know who he is say his name this is Dante Carter what's up guys
00:54:15
my name is Dante Carter I'm a comedian from South Carolina uh I'm going to
00:54:19
pause here so David can make fun of me oh David okay here in your car my impression of Barack Obama ordering Taco
00:54:29
Bell uh can I get a chalupa uh with uh extra Pico uh sour cream uh no beans uh Barry can't do beans uh no beans
00:54:48
Barry gets the boo boo belly oh thank you he get a boo boo belly okay first of all Dante I like that he
00:54:59
he made it funny like he took that one hook uh and took it so far so it's actually just funny even if you know
00:55:07
didn't know who Obama was I thought the impression was pretty good it was um
00:55:11
nice nice job I don't uh you can make a choice to go down to this this more often you know just that type of thing
00:55:19
but he does kind of uh he will do that he took it he SE Obama with that vocal fry I
00:55:26
think mhm yeah that was that's that's what people do that's what people do um
00:55:33
but yeah it's not not a lot of people do a Barack Obama I like that he took time
00:55:38
to go into the car inste and knock it out instead of just doing his house he's
00:55:41
like I'll just do it now gives a I thought he was gonna do Theo Von with that accent bet
00:55:48
someone okay here we are all right this is we got another one then I got one after Nathan Nathan okay well hi Dana hi
00:55:57
David this is Morgan Freeman little birdie told me that you're now taking an impressions for
00:56:04
your podcast I think that's a mighty fine idea I also understand that you're
00:56:10
accepting red red necky jokes as well well I thought why not kill two birds with one stone oh he's doing one or as
00:56:18
red might say two squirrels with one can so here we go I'm red red necki the
00:56:26
redneck comedian last week my girlfriend broke up with me but told me we could still be cousins come and get
00:56:35
some well this is Nathan from Dallas Texas I just want to say thank you guys so much for the Decades of laughter you
00:56:44
guys have given us and me personally it's been a thrill love the podcast keep
00:56:49
up the great work I like that part the best I like the ending part about the great work
00:56:57
yeah Nathan Beasley um it was a really really good uh Morgan Freeman it was very subtle and very real um and the red
00:57:07
red necki was actually pretty uh clever maybe maybe too clever I don't know but
00:57:12
it was actually a good um diversion joke like it they were cousins all the whole
00:57:18
time right yeah yeah I like that red red Nicki one too and I like it as Morgan Freeman I was trying to look I was
00:57:23
looking away because I just want to hear if it just sounds like his tone but he has rhythms down as
00:57:30
Morgan Freeman white guy is hard it must be harder to do it but it's pretty good
00:57:34
I thought it was good mhm okay is there one more I just have some R necky jokes oh
00:57:42
let me do my impression let's do the impression yeah here it is Dana so this
00:57:47
is uh this is in the shower this morning I thought of this because I watched The
00:57:51
Beekeeper this weekend with Jason STM and any movie he's in he's always first
00:57:56
of all he doesn't talk a lot he always has a lot on his mind all these guys have a lot on their mind they don't want
00:58:01
to be bothered and he's always thinking like this when other people are talking and
00:58:08
and and and they like to be left alone and he's like I'm The Beekeeper I keep the
00:58:18
bees I like to be left alone and if you come at me I might stting you if you cross me and they're
00:58:27
like well are you a bee or are you a beekeeper he's like don't let that concern you you don't want to find
00:58:34
out I take the honey to the queen and they're like well I don't get what your job is
00:58:41
you're actually a beekeep or you just are you here to kill me just oh go I just want to be left
00:58:47
alone all of them want to be left alone all those type of guys he was also in Meg I saw two movies of the Meg the
00:58:53
shark movie where it's a diabolical shark where it gets so bananas you know it's you know it's not um a well-written
00:59:03
movie when at the end he goes careful the shark has a gun the shark does it's getting very human toward the
00:59:13
end it's it's got a gun in his right fin it's actually a good impression it's good you know if you
00:59:22
don't try too hard it's a decent impression because he doesn't really do a lot he's just
00:59:26
thinking a lot and he was a beekeeper full beekeeper outfit that was the movie Bea
00:59:34
it's also just a funny take on a a kind of a badass guy in a movie where he's
00:59:39
talking and metaphors or something I'm the Beeper and you're you know it's just
00:59:44
a funny character anyway which is then it's Jason after I sting you I die and
00:59:51
they're like wait we die or you die and also so you're actually a bee in this
00:59:56
scenario and he's like hang on no wait go back one I'm yes I'm The Beekeeper we we we we
01:00:08
everyone we understood that part that part we got but that's really most of his lines in the movie because it turns
01:00:13
out a beekeeper other than he tends to actual bees in the movie all this then if you're a super badass FBI guy you're
01:00:23
a beekeeper they don't really say what that means that means that's just the
01:00:27
best the best oh it actually a thing a thing I'm a be I'm a but then he goes
01:00:32
leaves and is and he hides and retires but he kind of likes the attention because he's actually a beekeeper so
01:00:38
they're like wait you're not a The Beekeeper from the FBI is like why would
01:00:41
you think that well you're dressed like AB you could do anything else work at a
01:00:45
bowling alley I don't know I'm keeper yeah I keep bees I keep be bees in a keeping Place
01:00:57
yeah a keeping place what do you mean where bees live you don't know that much
01:01:01
about being a Beek keeper because you already don't know really where you keep
01:01:06
them he just likes be that guy going to call for restaurant we'd like a reservation we' like four seats and I
01:01:17
know how to get them okay what's the name The Beekeeper and i' like a play of
01:01:24
fresh bees fried bees I don't know where you're this is Tower bar we don't have a
01:01:31
okay well we can find something we have honey packets we'll find something for
01:01:36
you yes I like honey packets yeah that'll be fun beer all right our final today is yeah red red
01:01:47
necki red red necki we're gonna watch a few of these I guess we'll read them oh
01:01:52
you're GNA read them and if you can read those Dana I already see it's almost too
01:01:55
long but go ahead I can read them yeah well this is a this is from Spence Camp thanks for submitting here and I was
01:02:02
start I'm red rednecky the redneck comedor I'm reading this C preacher told
01:02:06
me folks is talking cuz I'm married to a minor I said hell she come down with the
01:02:11
black lung when she was eight she ain't set foot in the mine in three years comeing gets
01:02:17
home oh a minor that one will want to trunk down a little bit but I get the the joke it I
01:02:24
didn't even get it I had to read it twice yeah okay here Philip hirs let's
01:02:34
see okay I'm red red necky the redneck comedian when I kiss mama she said I kiss like Papa I told her that's what
01:02:42
sister said Come and get some well as an incestral thing that's not bad it's pretty tight sounds like a
01:02:49
porn I just watched okay come H some can go either way Jay dubs is the name for our NE sub
01:02:57
midle I'm red red necki the redneck comedian last night there was a knock on
01:03:01
my door I said who that they said yo mama I said which one come and get some He's Got Two Moms wh why was it
01:03:10
which one he has two masas I don't get it okay actually they're fun keep them coming here's two to show
01:03:19
how hard it is here's two quick ones that I wrote Mom this is red this is red
01:03:24
red neckie the redneck comedian my mama wrote a cookbook how to eat like a swamp
01:03:28
rat come and get some to eat like a SW so you eat like a well this it should I should have
01:03:41
started this one that's too long I'm red rednecky the redneck comedian I asked my
01:03:46
mama what's for dinner she said hot sizzling Mud Bugs top with a dozen live Crow dads and smed in swamp sauce come
01:03:52
and get home say what you should say what is it my birthday come and get some well the whole thing is come get
01:04:02
some and you can elongate that okay my dentist I'm red redneck redneck comedian
01:04:07
my dentist told me my teeth were green and brown I said great just like my daddy come and get
01:04:12
[Music] home they're hard today the the were better than the they all get laughs because they just
01:04:23
everything about sounds funny I know but how do I top the language of this one I
01:04:28
met my sister only because mama turned me down come on gets home you know that's
01:04:34
like it's hard hard to do the short ones but um incest funny you guys are getting
01:04:40
close we haven't crowned a red rednecky champ yet but you guys are get close and
01:04:46
send some more Impressions and uh I guess we'll see you next week is that all we got or not here
01:04:51
to sign us off today is Jason St you thought we were gone but I've always been
01:04:59
here I don't know if you read the papers but I'm The Beekeeper don't cross me you get honey
01:05:06
in your grill you I'll spray you with honey in your grill it sounds sexual no maybe I think of a new way
01:05:17
anyway bye for now this has been a presentation of odyssey Superfly is executive produced
01:05:26
by Dana Carvey and David Spade Charlie finan of bril entertainment Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and
01:05:33
Greg Holtzman hope you liked [Music] it