00:00:00
so we have Leslie effing Jones on uh who is a force not to be trifled with who wrote a book called Leslie [ __ ] Jones
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can we say that in the intro I mean if she can in her book if you say Evan I don't care
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um Leslie [ __ ] Jones I got addicted to the book I wrote I read the book all the way through this is how it is in the
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podcast or want to do what's right mind this sounds crazy it didn't come through
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I got to page like 12 and it was blank so uh Dana it sounds like a lie it's not
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and then Dana has been doing homework we researched his everything 12. I I did 200 but we worked together as a team it
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doesn't matter sometimes I'll do 12 right and you'll do 12 and and and or
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you could do two I don't know that was it was a fast read I I think it's a
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fascinating story she is um you know just I she's her story is amazing her personality basketball star
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and she's just tells amazing stuff about SNL I'm not going to give it away I want
00:01:04
you to listen but she's a Powerhouse I mean it's your stand up and she did that
00:01:07
thing uh we did at The Comedy Store a while ago where they were filming she comes in crushes leaves uh she is
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um you know she talks about her perspective on us now what it was like the good the bad yes and uh that's you
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know you get a well-rounded this has never happened to me before but after that podcast I thought of a movie idea
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I'll just say it in 10 seconds Leslie Jones you'll find out when you listen to
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the podcast why that makes sense is coaching a junior high school girls basketball team yeah okay bad elements
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come in whatever that may be kind of like The Equalizer bad people come in and Leslie Jones kicks ass oh yeah she
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writes yeah the regularizer all right we can make this the easy way or the hard way you have nine seconds yeah
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equalizer three is amazing I wanted to get that out there yeah let's get that
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out there yeah okay here she is Leslie Jones from equalizer three four [Music] nah do not have a separate microphone
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white man immediately Leslie Jones just had asked me the whitest question ever but
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uh are you a member of The Geek Squad by any chance even I'm mad at this white
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guy yeah even I'm angry I'm part of his tribe but Jesus do I have to get a mic I
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don't know how to work that [ __ ] I think it'll work you don't need nothing you're
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Leslie [ __ ] Jones I read your book so I feel like I know you please tell me you did not read my book I read it and I
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thought it but the newest the newest version right I believe I got the newest version I think because it was online it
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was like secretive I think oh it was secretive so it must have been the latest version yeah yeah I hope I hope
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it's the most edited version because some of that [ __ ] was crazy had a silver spoon easy childhood yeah
00:03:06
everything came to you so it was it find out yeah it was a real Meghan Markle it
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could have been the same there's a lot a lot of sex in it it's very the one I had
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just the edit I had to just edit chapter six was like what give it to us yeah I mean it's more outrageous than what I
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read Because I read some stuff that I I turned red my wife's going what's wrong
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honey I broke out my sweat oh my God okay so y'all ready okay okay no I have a question what okay is it
00:03:40
boring is it is it interesting because I'm that's the thing I'm very very not
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boring I'll tell you that much I can tell you a thousand percent that it's an
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incredibly great read it moves very quickly it's very concise I mean it just blows by it's it's a it's
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a page Turner it's great Leslie it really is am I your first review yes I give it I give it I'm going on
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[ __ ] Amazon I'm giving you five stars my head is exploding right now I loved it it's so wrong yeah you need you
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both of y'all need to know where y'all are in my in my brain as far as people
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okay first of all David Spade and you don't even remember this David but you
00:04:24
came in and saw me I was performing one night and I was doing prayer work and you gave me one of the best compliments
00:04:30
and I remember going I remember speeding home singing screaming like David Spain
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to me like oh my God you're so [ __ ] hilarious the chemistry you used to have
00:04:49
with with Farley was just [ __ ] insane and then and then Dana Carvey what can you say what can you say Dana
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Carvey you don't understand to black people I don't know if you know this but
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to black people church lady is some sacred bit that like we [ __ ] anytime you did church lady it was that was for
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black people black people [ __ ] love you uh well I love that that's awesome
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that is a mean she's mean man I mean she says what's on her mind kind of but
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you know if she was if [ __ ] being right it's so [ __ ] honest and awesome mm-hmm
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so did you that's not a compliment that just cuts through the Clutter no church
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lady just calls him and she sees him and it's funny as [ __ ] he's so [ __ ]
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hilarious it was being uh Superior to everyone you meet and really can't wait
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to tell them well well well well we like to write books don't we there's
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lots of naughty parts that's what Leslie Jones says then she says this story you
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know it's just it writes itself I knew she died like it's just man that's what that's
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what that's the SNL I knew you know what I mean so like it's like so for y'all to tell me that I read my
00:06:12
book I'm freaking the [ __ ] out cause I'm like was it even legible no no people
00:06:19
have to read this because it's just such a journey of undeniableness which your
00:06:25
dad told you like just the tenacity and the stuff you went through before you got SNL and then on SNL I mean you just
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you're still standing I have a lot of respect for you man you are something else but the book I read it it was just
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I don't know it was very compelling the stuff you went through and how honest it
00:06:44
was I mean don't you find that what's your reaction what are people saying
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no one's saying anything yet right I'm the first yeah it's the first this is
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the first that people have told me they read it I'm freaking out I'm like okay
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okay okay y'all read it and I'm just like that's what I'm waiting for I'm
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waiting for you know people to go oh no it was it was good it no it was good no Leslie I'm gonna give you a full
00:07:08
disclosure Dana I didn't even tell you this okay aside from when I this is two-parter aside from seeing uh Leslie
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and and I think what was happening Leslie is you were doing crowd work and I was Mesmerizing the back going I don't
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think she did one ounce of her act I think she walked up and was like look at this [ __ ] and I was like and she
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never stopped talking to the audience and killing and I'm like that is one of
00:07:31
those things that I'm not good at I go this is so hard to do and she just went
00:07:34
from there to there to there to there back to this guy back that call back to this guy and I would I I must have told
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you after I said holy [ __ ] that was just really really fun to watch and uh and on
00:07:46
the book part Leslie so here's where I got uh tripped up because first of all
00:07:51
the book starts you get shot out of a cannon you're immediately it's it's uh I
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think it's Chris Rock telling you the thing is early like that Chris Rock saying you're not ready you're this and
00:08:02
this then you start into the book and you know what happened mine cuts off and don't get mad at Jen mine cuts off at
00:08:08
your dad taking to the Ramada Inn because that was a good one and it was like a medieval it was really early on
00:08:14
so then Dana's filling me in but it's not because I didn't want to but I was
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going through it I'm like oh [ __ ] it just it just goes blank so Dana will fill you in those parts and I will jump
00:08:24
in on the other stuff okay okay okay okay okay but by the way I had seven questions just at the beginning Dana
00:08:31
because the Chris Rock stuff he's like Yoda going you're walking to the car or
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something he's like you're not ready and you're like what the [ __ ] am I not ready
00:08:38
I've been doing this how many years and why do you think I and you're like [ __ ]
00:08:43
you must do more clubs yes first come set then comes joke it happens I was so [ __ ] bad like what
00:08:54
the [ __ ] you talking about ready to [ __ ] ready yeah it's hard to hear that from a guy the great like Chris
00:08:59
because you're like I guess I this guy knows some [ __ ] and then right and it
00:09:05
was right yeah no he always was that he always was that guy even as a young man at SNL he would just sum up things
00:09:12
really and just a few words he always had the old soul and he has a confidence with it yeah he's like an old soul he's
00:09:18
like Morgan Freeman or something yeah so yeah he listened to him but the ride of
00:09:22
it Leslie I mean I could relate to everybody had straw struggles in stand-ups starting and stuff you just
00:09:29
had a special amount of it and a special tenacity and and by the way people I mean I could bounce all over the place
00:09:36
but that Journey it's I just go on here she comes again and then when Jamie Foxx
00:09:40
suggested you had to go live your life and then you had about six years where you really didn't do stand up and just
00:09:48
lived your life and then I think the church kind of saved you the the the Victory Baptist Church to get your
00:09:54
attitude straight maybe your brother passed away if you don't play yourself in the movie yeah who would you feel
00:10:02
Margot Robbie who plays 20 19 year old Leslie Jones Margot Robbie actually just texted me she's on the feed she goes I
00:10:13
know I that I guess it would have to be a young I would have to go look for a young
00:10:20
actress played me yeah for someone in the 20s but you could probably play yourself as you you know the last 10
00:10:27
years I mean you know with a lot of AI no listen Leslie it says you started at 47 or Dana said you got SNL 47 I go 47 I
00:10:37
didn't know she was 47 yet that's that's was one of my favorite I like the double no I like being 44. I
00:10:48
like burning 33 55 feels badass now we got to get you to 66. oh no rush no rush no rush
00:10:57
thank you Leslie let me ask her one thing here's something that Dana and I know I know it
00:11:04
was brief on my end when I got to go over this but she's at a club and I think I don't think people relate to
00:11:10
this but you do explain it well you're at a club on the road you're busting
00:11:14
your ass it's snowing or something you go in you're just jumping around doing
00:11:17
one-nighters I think and they do it you know opener middle headliner and because
00:11:22
the rep was you would kill the headliner and you were middling I think the headliner would say they have to get out
00:11:28
of there and and can I middle I'm still the headliner but I kind of get paid the
00:11:32
headline but middle and and then not follow you and then you finally said [ __ ] you I you pay me an extra thousand
00:11:39
and I or I'm not headlining and they're like what do you mean it was something
00:11:44
that I learned from um oh God I'm looking right at DC Curry I was on a lot I was on the road with DC Curry and they
00:11:52
didn't pay and he did not walk on stage until they paid him and he was like always know your worth always know your
00:11:58
worth and this had been happening so much this had just and it started the first couple of times it happened if at
00:12:06
first you know you fall for the first but then after it started happening everywhere I went I was like oh these
00:12:12
[ __ ] just can't follow me and instead of just saying let's switch it up and let her headline and give me
00:12:18
respect that they probably would give dudes they do that [ __ ] and and it just was just Latin this literally happened
00:12:26
right before I got SNL so it was like it really was one of those moments where I
00:12:32
went back to the hotel and I remember this moment exactly you guys I sat at the end of the bed because it was
00:12:39
actually a nice it was the one time that I had got a nice hotel I wanted these [ __ ] gigs and I'm sitting at the end
00:12:45
of the bed and I'm like hey man I I'm 47 I was like man how long am I gonna be
00:12:51
able to do this [ __ ] you know how how long is this it's not getting easier
00:12:56
it's not getting these and and the money is not getting better and it's just like
00:13:01
and now I'm starting to have to fight [ __ ] like it just it just was one of those moments of like [ __ ] like
00:13:08
there's no there's there's all Darkness right now and what yeah so and also people don't
00:13:16
know you have to do more time in your headline right you you were actually when you had when you had mine you had
00:13:21
mine that's what it's called No One everybody you it's great that you have
00:13:26
to open an ax and we know this everybody knows that you love having to open an act but the [ __ ] be waiting for
00:13:32
you to come out I mean who did that joke best about like nobody wants to see [ __ ] a comic
00:13:38
before the stones like get the [ __ ] off the stage we want to see Jagger like what the [ __ ] yeah the headliner has the
00:13:45
responsibility because if you've got people killing before you and the middle
00:13:49
is kind of the easiest spot it's warmed up they haven't peaked so you I would
00:13:54
you'd follow middles I'd follow middles that just you know want me not to be
00:13:58
able to follow them it was a gladiatorial badass Gunslinger environment but the idea that you had to
00:14:04
close after all that [ __ ] kill that heart but not get headliner money the middle guys so that that's just that's
00:14:12
not all the [ __ ] time in this in this one particular time because I remember this [ __ ] I was like yeah I know who
00:14:17
this comic is and I know that this [ __ ] don't want to follow me and I'm not [ __ ] up and I and at that
00:14:24
time I don't I didn't even I know I might have had some money I didn't I
00:14:28
wasn't sure I think it was one of those moments of like okay [ __ ] it I guess I'm
00:14:32
not gonna get paid because I'm gonna go back to the hotel yeah because I'm not
00:14:34
[ __ ] doing this but it was just it's a hard thing to do because you think they're gonna tell people I'm a problem
00:14:41
they're gonna and you're like and I think the guy caved and and went and
00:14:45
goes and you said go talk to your boss or something yeah because he wasn't the
00:14:49
one who booked me the one who booked me is solid to do he's a solid dude okay
00:14:53
you know and that dude worked for him he thought you know yeah I'm gonna go in
00:14:56
and I'm gonna tell the female she gonna cause that's how you came in well you
00:15:00
know this is what's gonna happen I was like [ __ ] this is not what's gonna happen
00:15:06
uh you gonna give me a thousand dollars more [ __ ] headline in this headline because I gotta go out when they drunk
00:15:12
they drunk at this point oh yeah yeah when an opener does like what 20 25 minutes something like that I gotta do
00:15:20
like 45 hours you know and then a black Club Real Talk an hour yeah it's hard
00:15:26
you know also Leslie they throw it on the checks in some of these clubs so when you're on stage of people at home
00:15:31
listening they put down the check for the bill right in the middle of your act and suddenly everything stops and
00:15:36
everyone's looking at oh okay who had three Cokes who had the uh you know you're going through being closer and
00:15:41
they're doing math yeah I like potato skins I don't know [ __ ] don't know
00:15:48
and it's like it's like people don't even understand it's on another level
00:15:52
for females for females it's a whole at the level like we are at on stage performing like in France it's a whole
00:16:02
different level what what in specific do you mean I mean just that even if the crowd is half women or so so it's a lot
00:16:11
of things when it goes on for for and I hate to even say female comic because we
00:16:15
should just be comments and it's like because y'all don't have to say I'm a
00:16:19
male comedy yeah you know yeah so it's it's like okay I had to learn early that
00:16:24
when I walk on stage like t-shirt jeans tennis shoes because these are a couple of things that happen when a female
00:16:30
comic walks on stage especially if she's looking nice so good the first thing you
00:16:36
and you don't want to admit most people people won't admit it but a woman to
00:16:39
look and go oh oh what and especially she we were a man oh uh and then she'll
00:16:44
look at her man and see if a man would want to [ __ ] her and then you're going
00:16:48
through all of this five minutes while I'm standing on stage that's true you
00:16:52
know what I'm saying so it's it's like it's it's like that level and then I
00:16:57
swear what came to my head when I was thinking about it was oh and I hate to say this we out late
00:17:03
we out late in front of a crowd that's drinking full of boisterous men and we're we have to do some type of
00:17:11
material and if we're doing dirty material [ __ ] are going to think one way do you get what I'm saying
00:17:17
yeah no I other other women comedian have told me similar things about the dynamic of that yeah and
00:17:24
never had to worry about it because I wish I wish a miracle and [Laughter] [Music]
00:17:39
did you ever have to physically fight uh people coming on the stage or did you ever get something thrown at you
00:17:47
I've I've had things thrown at me I've had people come up on stage I've had
00:17:51
people pull their dick out on me I've had people I saw falling off the stage
00:17:56
often um I uh yeah I've had to uh referee a brawl doing the fight doing a set yeah
00:18:04
I've done every it's pretty I apologize for the dick thing yeah a million times
00:18:09
I we talked to I was gonna go I was gonna say David that was the biggest bra too that I had
00:18:18
ever it was at dude at the Autobahn it was it was the Autobahn in Germany that uh Angelo Lazaro was uh was throwing and
00:18:28
Gerald Kelly got into a fight with a bunch of Puerto Ricans in the front because
00:18:33
um and one of them had already got up a show when they did and see in that situation what you do it's very because
00:18:38
you have to again women have to be very smart I I you know you'll get the listen
00:18:45
I'm gonna get in trouble for saying did right okay no no as women it's like a warrior type thing
00:18:52
now you do have women that are not going to be like I'm not cool with that like
00:18:57
don't [ __ ] put your dick out on me let's stop the show I [ __ ] get that I
00:19:00
understand that but there's a level me that I have been raised around so many
00:19:04
dudes and athletes and and just Hustlers pushers dealers get it's that's it's a
00:19:11
moment there I'm not scared of you you could pull your [ __ ] dick out but let
00:19:15
me see how this is how I'm gonna handle you sir so that's all you got pull your
00:19:20
[ __ ] pants up you're embarrassing your friends your friends are here and you pull that out God if you was gonna
00:19:26
do it at least have a big dick like that's how I handled them he went and sat down they had more fun they were
00:19:33
drinking so Gerald Kelly comes on the stage starts a fight with him and then chair starts flying and I just remember
00:19:41
being under the table and Angelo was trying to get me out the restaurant but I was under the table like Celie and
00:19:46
color purple like I want to see so yeah so uh well that was well put Leslie when you got out of it anything to get
00:19:57
out of it yeah I totally get that I would when did you where did you [Music] when did when you got to like
00:20:12
professional clubs they get a little better like an improv or like a more upscale Club I mean because
00:20:18
or was it always men at a weird thing there's a woman I'm drunk I'm gonna give
00:20:22
her [ __ ] I'm gonna hit on her I'm gonna you know make fun of her yeah got it
00:20:28
but are you saying that I ever having a good experience it never really goes away I don't think
00:20:35
I don't think you always Leslie Jones famous person is headlining eventually oh if that still happens yeah
00:20:43
it happens like I mean I just I'm on tour now and this woman stood up in the
00:20:47
middle of my act and gave me flowers oh it was like yeah what I I do [ __ ] like what do I say like that's a weird
00:20:56
one and and a fox line and you know when they do it right at a punch line yeah well alcohol is a problem unless you're
00:21:06
Matt Rife bite me I just had somebody bite me like it still happens man like I think it's I and I keep saying this I
00:21:15
just think it's different with women because it just feels like property is sometimes when people come and watch you
00:21:22
you know that you you'd never bite a Dave Chappelle or I mean you might jump
00:21:26
on it try to shoot them or whatever but do you get what I'm saying you might
00:21:30
slap Chris Rock but you're never gonna what would you do I wish that happened
00:21:35
to you I want to see you let me explain something to you and me and Chris talk about
00:21:44
the age and that's a long walk I would have been like wait a minute are you coming up here
00:21:52
okay okay that's Will Smith no it's like are you coming up here [ __ ] I would have
00:21:59
ran around I'd have been like well calm down you you better slap me no it wouldn't get that far right so did
00:22:08
you what did Chris say about his rack because Chris kind of bent forward and kind of put his face out like with you
00:22:14
know let's talk about it all the time it was like he did not think he was gonna
00:22:19
slap him hey whoever this is that keep calling me man tell him to stop doing that come get this phone
00:22:27
hey hey Fernandez somebody come get this phone yeah yeah I'm gonna stop I it was me but
00:22:35
anyway I uh Santa keeps calling her yeah I don't hold the stage when I've had drunks come
00:22:44
on the stage I just leave the stage so I probably would have danced if I was if I
00:22:48
were I would have maybe backed up I just I would not have stood there I would have ran
00:22:53
so yeah well yeah if he didn't think it's coming and but if it does happen I
00:22:58
think that that was gonna happen like you honestly think that maybe he was gonna come up and go hey man don't say
00:23:04
that [ __ ] about my wife don't talk that [ __ ] about me or not no but will went
00:23:08
straight for or he could have been doing a bit and gone put his hand on his shoulder and go
00:23:14
listen right I'm just gonna and get a laugh by doing something like right why
00:23:19
I oughta I'm thinking you're not thinking that it's just a very bad situation all around I I [ __ ] hate
00:23:27
that it if I I hate that it happened yeah oh it made me sick very bad yeah on both States it's just
00:23:36
like [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] I said the same thing I said five well yeah it triggered David and I
00:23:48
because we were pipsqueaks in the back in the day we're kind of Burly and strong men now but we got bullied a lot
00:23:55
you know so it triggered us just because Will's so much bigger than Chris but you
00:23:59
know um but did did it really trigger you though for real oh yeah made me feel maybe sense memory of of stuff you know
00:24:07
uh yeah well embarrassing him I'm a big black dude beating you up no no uh you
00:24:14
know well sure yeah no my father my my father 's Irish Scottish you know Irish Sky oh
00:24:22
my God it was black yeah yeah yeah black guys too when Dana like Dana and I grew up and we were both uh you know not
00:24:32
a pipsqueak is a strong word it's accurate but it's true and uh we would
00:24:38
get pushed around from my older brother to just everyone at school and mixed neighborhoods where I was such an easy
00:24:44
target and just so it's ingraining you and you just get it just is pushed down because
00:24:50
you can't really fight back and if you do you lose and so you learn to just take it but it's hard to take after a
00:24:56
while and having Chris do that on a national audience worldwide and you're like oh my God and his head he's like
00:25:01
should I have just [ __ ] Dove down on him even if I lost at least because there's half the people going why you
00:25:07
fight back you know just a very tough thing to live with dude let me tell you something ask and I'm speaking for a
00:25:13
black perspective it's bad for us because it's like what the [ __ ] just
00:25:18
happened on national TV on a platform that we hardly get on in a good way and this happens that's what it's it's off
00:25:27
it's some that's some after party [ __ ] that happened on the [ __ ] stage and
00:25:32
it's just like like for us it's like [ __ ] on both on both ends it's like what the [ __ ] you
00:25:39
you this moment wasn't supposed to be that you know what I'm saying and then
00:25:44
on Chris's point this is I mean to me he was the braver part of taking what happened to him and still [ __ ]
00:25:52
rolling like like y'all need to understand that this [ __ ] happened in front of his kids in front of in front
00:25:58
of his mom in front of that's a lot to [ __ ] deal with and it's just then on
00:26:02
top of pack of this like oh two black people just got [ __ ] on in the fight on National [ __ ] TV where where
00:26:10
everybody's watching the world is watching oh yeah so and if they don't see it they see that clip it's it's
00:26:17
[ __ ] awful it's awful so all around it's terrible you know but Chris kept
00:26:25
talking which was it was mind-boggling that he could even talk instead of just be stunned like so much going through
00:26:31
your mind he's still reading the cards saying the next thing okay and continuing which you almost just
00:26:37
want to stare off and go what's going on what do I do yeah it was it was great he was great yeah Chris
00:26:44
Chris was bullied too as a kid and uh yeah he he was so poised and then what did you I mean his special a year later
00:26:52
all keep reporting the whole thing and then he does his special and and lands it really really hard uh
00:26:59
we were all there together yeah yes I feel like everybody need to understand too that Comics like if real good Comics
00:27:08
take that [ __ ] to the stage I mean you know I think again like us we know a lot
00:27:15
of comics that didn't take it to the stage and lost their [ __ ] mind you know what I'm saying because that is
00:27:20
what you're supposed to do we are uh somewhat uh I think of gestures because Jesters was very much used by
00:27:31
the King when he wanted to raise taxes so let me make him laugh but the gestures [ __ ] made fun of everybody
00:27:37
so yeah it's it's it's we're we're we are that sheet of like you're not in
00:27:42
this alone and and listen instead of crying let's laugh about this [ __ ] like
00:27:46
that we are very important people as far as Comics comedy and and its form of it you know what I'm saying
00:27:55
so yeah he had to talk about it I think he played it smart weighted does a special
00:28:01
talks about it at the end everyone's everyone's riveted yeah it not only that's what I told everybody I
00:28:08
was like this this is where we know that comedy you know like people just take this taking advantage of it because you
00:28:17
know Tick Tock ever I think they funny everybody yeah everybody thinks everybody thinks and then you go they
00:28:24
just they go on the road and uh it's this is what I want to tell you is that's that's that most people learn
00:28:31
when they try to [ __ ] with that [ __ ] and then they go to Omaha Nebraska and don't
00:28:35
got no [ __ ] material do you understand what I'm saying oh yeah yeah yeah so you know everybody think they're
00:28:42
funny everybody don't understand really the development of what comedy really is
00:28:46
as far as being a real uh gangster and doing that [ __ ] live first of all and then talking about that [ __ ] on National
00:28:56
Television knowing the [ __ ] that did it is watching oh yeah yeah still there oh yeah oh that oh you mean that when he
00:29:05
did on a special oh you know he was watching oh yeah but it's true I mean it
00:29:09
is it is a club that takes a lot of work to get into I I think you can take a five-year-old and maybe get him an Oscar
00:29:15
if you if you make them sad and they could or at least nominated but no nobody can just walk on stage the first
00:29:22
night and have an hour stand up it's such a hard road to get there I don't
00:29:27
understand that it takes time everybody's like why do you waste so long well
00:29:31
hey [ __ ] like it takes time to develop a great set you know and you gotta re and it's funny because
00:29:39
every set is a little different even if people don't really notice but some Crowds Are a little more into you
00:29:45
sometimes your attitude is a little different sometimes you're like God if I
00:29:48
do the if I do the joke exactly like this it should work every time and sometimes it just doesn't you go did I
00:29:54
get off on the wrong foot did I miss a word like it's so it's so hard to nail
00:29:58
it every night there's still big bomb nights for me I'm sure they are for you
00:30:02
guys it's just that's the hard part is it's not bulletproof you just it's still
00:30:07
hard still hard out there the scariest part is then they ask you to record it so you go we don't know what the [ __ ] is
00:30:14
gonna happen tonight like yeah yeah that's terrifying um I did that show [ __ ] great five nights ago why didn't
00:30:21
you record it I use that one well when you TR when you taped uh Problem Child was it one night I mean you had one shot
00:30:29
because I I only I I would have two shots but I heard that other Comics would have ten tapings five tapings that
00:30:37
was so weird that if I could go back a problem child would have been such a different thing
00:30:43
um that was 20 material that was the first time I ever did a comment a conversation we did it twice
00:30:49
two shows um oh but I was oh God which show was better to this day I don't remember I just
00:31:00
remember both of them being successful for me as far as like I got what I wanted because I didn't understand that
00:31:07
like when I look at private child now I go that's great I was funny I was a very
00:31:12
funny comic but now I'm just like different levels yes you just I I'll blow that [ __ ] out the water now
00:31:20
because I'm intricate you know you're more intricate you're more you're more
00:31:24
like my SNL did that before me John and be honest SNL put shelves in my head like they helped me organize a lot of
00:31:32
things that I want to do on stage so right because you're I like that description yeah you want to keep keep
00:31:39
the spontaneity a sense of it but also have some organizational structure to get on a ride with the audience to
00:31:47
really really power them and not be start stopping right well and also too people need to understand this is our
00:31:53
job so it's a tool so now we a set a set is a [ __ ] tool so it's just like if I
00:32:00
stepped on stage and opened up a thing and pulled my set out you know what I'm
00:32:04
saying that's that's what it is you know that's and that's what people [ __ ]
00:32:08
don't understand when they're up there [ __ ] over my goddamn oh yeah just because you made people laugh in
00:32:19
the living room does not make you a [ __ ] comic yeah oh no I mean a tick tock I saw a guy in Tick Tock you ever
00:32:26
seen these do they do these little pranks and you just want to get the guy to get their ass [ __ ] kicked this guy
00:32:31
goes up to a guy and he just Clips off his he's on earphones this older guy in
00:32:35
a in a you know mall he cuts his earphones off and the guy goes what are you doing man the kid's like what I
00:32:42
didn't do anything and I'm like do you know how fast someone should beat the
00:32:45
[ __ ] [ __ ] out of you and the guy's like don't touch me don't touch me and
00:32:49
you think the are these pranks are these humor he's getting 10 million views or
00:32:53
something and you go no reward should be put for that the guy thinks he's hilarious because it's called shot
00:33:00
comedy like it's a generation that's come along we sound old it's funny little [ __ ]
00:33:07
[ __ ] like they take they take pranks and they think it's funny and emotionally you are inept you are
00:33:16
emotionally inept if you think that it's funny to go up and Destroy somebody's property and then
00:33:23
not expect them to beat the living [ __ ] on him yeah it's that [ __ ] never happens
00:33:28
to me because that's what would happen I have quit dogs Not only would I dog
00:33:35
stuff that [ __ ] and then I would call a couple of my friends to come up and dog stomp them with me and then I
00:33:44
would call his friends because his friends are probably [ __ ] too and have them come up to get him and then
00:33:51
boom them [ __ ] so they not know they could go out yeah yeah because Dana you don't see it
00:34:01
as much but like on Tick Tock they'll be in a store and just throw a kick they
00:34:06
throw a ball like in someone's face and act like they didn't do it and someone
00:34:09
gets like their next snap and you're like basically the premise is I look cool you
00:34:15
look stupid I get all the benefit of it and you look like an [ __ ] and I'm a
00:34:20
hero it's so ridiculous anyway it just it's just shot comedy I used to always
00:34:25
say that to Pete I was like you know that [ __ ] don't last don't nobody like
00:34:28
when [ __ ] just fart in the room that's stupid you're a child that shit's
00:34:33
a child yeah you're a Snicker yeah but it's stupid like how old are you you
00:34:38
know what I mean like it's like people don't understand that that shock comedy
00:34:42
[ __ ] it does not last and it don't work on stage unless you're really funny the
00:34:47
only people who can pull that off and again you have to be doing comedy for a while to learn it that's what that's
00:34:54
what's wrong with the new Jacks they don't want to [ __ ] learn the song
00:34:57
they just want to start singing they don't want to learn the notes they don't
00:35:01
want to learn how the arrangement is they don't want to learn how to instruments or use they just want to get
00:35:05
on that [ __ ] start singing and it don't work like that that's because you got a [ __ ] lucky chance and sang
00:35:11
the song Once right yeah that's a good way put it and also they'll they'll book
00:35:16
they'll book influencers or YouTube Stars nothing against them but they'll
00:35:20
book them in clubs and then it's like oh what about when you got an SNL did you
00:35:30
feel like I mean I think Dana agrees it's such a different muscle to write a
00:35:35
sketch or write something so you you got hired sight unseen I think from Rock through Lauren right
00:35:41
audition and everything uh you know I I went audition um oh you did okay yeah n8h yeah yeah
00:35:49
yeah addition and age did a bit and everything I got lost in the little catacombs I was like Chris you know
00:35:55
Chris uh that runs subscribers like Chris Kelly that runs the floor he just told me to walk straight but I did not
00:36:01
just turned because it was so many turns and [ __ ] and he was like why didn't you
00:36:05
just walk straight and see you could hear him fussing at me in the back and I was like because I I look like I'm
00:36:09
supposed to go this way but I'm supposed to go that way he was like just go straight just go straight so that all
00:36:15
this is happening and they can oh my God it's like so by the time I got to the
00:36:19
stage they're already laughing at me so uh yeah yeah I went to say budget but
00:36:24
could you talk about your mindset on that because you did it in the book it's
00:36:28
kind of interesting because that's a place where you can fold under the pressure but you had sort of a switch in
00:36:33
your head where you took control go ahead we are real Comics this is when the real always comes the [ __ ] out and
00:36:41
destroys fake ass [ __ ] because whether you're a rich if you can work or not you know if you're a good renter a
00:36:49
bad wrench you about to get proven right now so those moments when I saw that dark [ __ ] the first thing I thought was
00:36:56
Comedy Store 1 30 morning let's go how many times have we done The Comedy Store and there's been like two people
00:37:03
in there and you still go up because what you want that 15 at least that's why I went up because I need to get that
00:37:10
check and you need to get enough of them to equal a hundred dollars so and you want to win you go I've
00:37:17
treated like it's a crowded room yes it was a mindset of like [ __ ] it something a real
00:37:24
silly honest it was I didn't go in there thinking they was going to give me the
00:37:30
job anyway I I honestly whenever I go into a job I don't think that the person
00:37:36
that I'm going in to interview is brave enough to pick me do you get what I'm saying so when I
00:37:42
went into SMA I was like no way they're gonna make me a [ __ ] cast member not write off now
00:37:48
now I'm gonna have to I'ma definitely have to massage these people like it's something that you realize
00:37:54
about yourself did you did Lauren did you see his reaction after your audition or was
00:38:00
there any exchange after that I knew he thought I was funny and I think when I met with him I think when I finally had
00:38:08
a meeting with him I was so nervous because I was sitting there in front of a [ __ ] that she's seen on TV now
00:38:14
I again I'm still always this person when I see somebody that I see on TV I'll be like damn
00:38:20
guess that dude that's the dude from TV like you don't look nothing like that
00:38:25
and it just it was fascinating to see that whatever comes out of you you start talking so he's like small like so he's
00:38:33
small but like you know he has so much power so I think I was very nervous and then the first thing I thought was okay
00:38:40
white people like to hear names that they know so and I knew Eddie Murphy so I was like I know Eddie Murphy Eddie
00:38:46
Murphy said I'm funny so and he was like oh okay okay I'm pretty I'm pretty respected
00:38:54
right okay that's that's I'm glad uh and I was like all right you know because in my
00:39:05
head again this man is what 60 something I'm 40 something we grown people like
00:39:10
I'm grown too like the [ __ ] like this interview but I'm growing it I'm an
00:39:15
adult like I used to tell Steve all the time [ __ ] we Mark the same on an insurance form we we Mark the same age
00:39:22
group don't [ __ ] come at me like I'm one of these little children laughs
00:39:30
I love the defiant sign I I'm such a it's great it's awesome you also
00:39:36
um you know Lauren is very buttoned down I mean he's almost British in a sense
00:39:41
you know and reserved in that way but all this emotions right under the surface and you would be more
00:39:46
demonstrative with him oh because again it's like I said who's really been
00:39:54
in this game and like come from pimps hustlers crackheads uh you know you know how to
00:40:02
work a person's ebook you know how to you know how to read someone Lauren Lauren to you guys is so powerful and
00:40:09
[ __ ] but to me he was just like this older man that was cool and probably misunderstood because everybody's scared
00:40:17
of him so I used to always be just like I'm gonna talk to him like ain't nobody
00:40:21
saying hello why y'all running Lauren like whenever we would sit back I would
00:40:27
I would you know like I would fix this plate like any time he would ask me to come I would always come dressed to the
00:40:33
nines because he likes that type of [ __ ] he he believes in the the like when we
00:40:39
snare beside each other in there flashing the pictures he he he he loves that for the person that he's helping
00:40:46
because he wants them to understand this is a this is a different world let's see
00:40:49
just a different world perceived what I had to explain the Lord was that yeah children love that [ __ ] I'm not a child
00:40:56
anymore I've been through a gang of [ __ ] you know I'm not a kid no more so them
00:41:00
flashing their lights it's not impressive to me because see I'm Leslie Jones of course they're flashing the
00:41:06
lights you know stop that [ __ ] so I can enjoy my pasta you you're gonna get your picture so and
00:41:13
that's and at any end I think he finally understood that but you know he did say
00:41:19
to me I think Danny I don't know if he said to you he said you know if you're a star you should look like a
00:41:25
star like dress up like look like a story goes you see these big stars and you go
00:41:30
that's a star yeah and that's and I don't think I ever totally did it but I
00:41:33
go I get it you know well you want to play the part it depends though because the world is changing everyone see you
00:41:40
know like it's true yeah Leonardo the capital that what they would say to me
00:41:44
is like oh my God you're so different because live that Leo would never dude I
00:41:48
was like yeah you know that's a different type of starve like you know everybody used to always wish and I used
00:41:54
to always say this like if I become famous I'm gonna be like Arsenio Arsenio
00:41:58
can walk through the city like you know Magic Johnson can walk through the city I don't want to be like Michael Jackson
00:42:03
Hold up in my [ __ ] house and can't come out nowhere like I still go to Ralph's like you'll see me on Ralph's
00:42:10
like you'll see me at Ralph's I love Ralphs are you kidding that [ __ ] cake
00:42:13
I'm going to get my own cake like you're not gonna stop me from going to
00:42:19
the farmer's market there's a no there's [ __ ] chicken uh wrapped in bacon
00:42:24
restaurant there no what I had to tell him though like what he had to learn was that I understood
00:42:40
what he was trying to I I understood that that's the starting but at that point in my life that was at the stardom
00:42:47
that I wanted and if he would have called me in my 20s and 30s I'd have ate that [ __ ] up I'd have ate that [ __ ] up
00:42:53
but I might have burnt the [ __ ] out too and not really even became as good as I
00:42:58
am now and you feel right now you're the best stand-up you've ever been oh I feel like
00:43:05
I'm a samurai I feel like I've graduated to the class of life I will [ __ ] please
00:43:11
don't challenge me I'm that [ __ ] I'm gonna erase you know like like I earned
00:43:17
my [ __ ] Stripes as far as oh what what surprises me is that people don't know I'm a stand-up and people should
00:43:23
say so you do stand up and I would be like what my hair was so offensive like do
00:43:30
you know how many chicks you know how many bills I paid would stand up [ __ ] I would kill you
00:43:36
now that this book is out everybody's gonna know I mean it's really the journey when you're at SNL do you have
00:43:43
any did you have any friction with people because you're a strong personality or is it just sort of every
00:43:46
man for himself you're just out there or you just worked at SNL you know there's
00:43:50
always friction with people of course yeah I mean you know of course but you know it's like a family thing you get
00:43:57
inside that bubble you know again I put it like this snls for young [ __ ] because it's a high school
00:44:06
you go in there and you follow those those those steps that they have but the older person going into that [ __ ] like
00:44:13
no I'm not feeling no I'm not gonna do that no no I'm not gonna go to that
00:44:18
party no no no I'm not gonna like I think I remember when I started to have this rule where the new cast members
00:44:26
would have to sit in the back of the restaurant doing the After parties I'll
00:44:29
be like no and I would go and get my [ __ ] to go and I would go home I could sit in the back of my house
00:44:45
I know you [ __ ] lying yo I went up and got my [ __ ] to go and [ __ ] left like like like it was [ __ ] like that
00:44:54
that I did like this is my thing that I would tell Lauren all the time we're the
00:44:58
cast members like it it it's very much to what I would tell promoters and and
00:45:04
club Owners we are the comics you don't have no show without us like like like
00:45:09
don't stop treating us like we're the lowest of the totem pole and [ __ ]
00:45:13
start treating us like the [ __ ] cats like like I understand you gotta get a show you ain't got the torture and
00:45:20
[ __ ] humiliate no [ __ ] body to get a show out of them we want to be here I want to do the show
00:45:26
I suffrage shouldn't be so much part of [ __ ] getting across I understand that
00:45:34
there is some pan dudes trust me I understand I've been a comic I understand that you got to learn the
00:45:40
machine and that is something that I had to learn too is that this machine is bigger than me I need to learn the
00:45:45
machine but there is just still a line of like God damn it that like don't make
00:45:52
it struggle like this shouldn't be high school and it was very high school sometimes to
00:45:58
where I was very grown to be like I will pull my belt off and discipline you in this [ __ ] hallway don't you [ __ ]
00:46:05
talk to me like that I'm older no I remember telling Lindsey Shook this one time I said [ __ ] I'm older than you
00:46:10
where's my yes ma'am where the [ __ ] is my yes ma'am like uh-uh that's that's some of the
00:46:19
[ __ ] that I didn't like you know that like like some of the the [ __ ] that
00:46:22
would go on is like yo you you're not old enough to tell me to shut up yeah girl you can't fight me
00:46:33
and I would tell Lauren all the time who gonna come over here and get me who Who you gonna send who gonna fight
00:46:40
me really you tell Laura Kenny aim on oh my God lord is actually thinking like maybe Seth Meyers he would
00:46:51
go live you're lucky Rob Schneider he's not still here brother and he would just
00:46:54
be laughing because I would be like Lauren I'm about to whoop his ass tell me not to
00:46:58
I remember one time I wanted to whoop Steve's ass I was like yo Lauren you need to tell me not to whoop his ass he
00:47:05
was like please don't whoop his ass well I think people should know at this point that you were National I mean you
00:47:14
you went to Chapman University on a full basketball scholarship so part of your kick-assery
00:47:20
uh and physicality is from being an athlete and you know and competitive competitive athlete and trash talking
00:47:28
you know don't take [ __ ] from anyone I was always the biggest kid so I was
00:47:33
always maybe I was a bully sometimes and sometimes I was the hero so yeah I took
00:47:38
that into grown-up grown up hood you know what I'm saying did you did you find people to write with that you jive
00:47:44
with or do you have to write all your own stuff you talking about that SNL yeah if they needed me for a certain
00:47:50
character they were right for me but if like I wanted to do some [ __ ] it had to
00:47:55
be something that they really wanted to do does that make sense so it's it was
00:47:58
it it wasn't like X there were some cast members that had people that wrote for
00:48:03
them all the time yeah I didn't have that yeah I mean Tucker Tucker was always the one that would step up and
00:48:09
write for me and Keenan but as far as like being in a in a Kent sketch sometimes when I would beg James and you
00:48:16
know they you know it just was very that much like what they wrote for whoever they wanted to write I mean they wrote
00:48:23
for that person you know what I'm saying I think it's been I think it's been like
00:48:26
that there's a couple that got taken care of a lot and then uh gravitated to
00:48:30
and then maybe you focused on update or just that you knew your own sense your updating stuff was what was really
00:48:36
really yeah and see if I would have liked that to be told to me then to be just like okay yeah you want you in
00:48:45
sketches too but only time you have me in the sketches if I'm fighting in somebody or if I'm cursing somebody out
00:48:51
or if I'm having sex with them or you know it was just like you know I'm more
00:48:55
like a prop kind of yeah it wasn't yeah so like like when they put me in the
00:49:00
Weezer sketch which which I was so happy they put me in that because I was like this is so much different than what they
00:49:08
usually do and I love that you know I wanted stuff like that I wanted to be like you know how they used to have the
00:49:13
singing chipmunks like and I wanted to be in [ __ ] like that that it's just like
00:49:18
hard to get and stuff like that yeah well they sort of see you a certain way they see every cast member like through
00:49:25
a certain lens and if you don't fit in there myself yeah and maybe they did what they say
00:49:32
all they have to do is say either play this really straight or play down give you a tiny bit of direction and if
00:49:37
you're there it's so funny that you're saying that because that's what I would scream to
00:49:41
them I said I know you think that since I'm Leslie that I'm gonna take over the
00:49:46
sketch I already know what you're thinking that's why you're not putting
00:49:49
me in the sketch because you think I'm gonna make myself the man I'm not tell
00:49:53
me what to do I know how to play Down I know how to play down I've been with
00:49:59
myself for 40 some years you think I haven't been told to shut them hey you allowed
00:50:05
you think I haven't been told you you don't think like I know how you you get
00:50:11
it you go tell me this sketch totally what is the feel of it okay we're all playing it under it great all the time I
00:50:17
said if you write me loud I'm gonna play loud but if you write me this way I'm
00:50:21
gonna play that way just because I'm and it would just be like you don't
00:50:24
understand when you're in the sketch you're just this and I was like well I'm
00:50:28
[ __ ] sorry I'm like I'm well quit writing my character with that would
00:50:32
have been so much fun to see you play a Wallflower or very shy person yeah you know really
00:50:41
um you know nerdy says friend love interest yeah that's what I used to tell alone all the
00:50:49
time I was like it's a [ __ ] Lauren actually but like what can you do when you have all those elements you like a
00:50:56
puppet master at that point you it's very I know I'm pretty sure he was very
00:51:00
disappointed when I was disappointed because he used to love when I would do the cow the cow videos because I could
00:51:06
show how good I could act he's like you're really good actress and I would
00:51:09
tell them to tell these [ __ ] like these [ __ ] and tell them to do it but it's like how much how much
00:51:16
control really I wonder if he had I don't know I don't think he tries to the energy to
00:51:23
at any age to micromanage I think he's more you know he's directing the show
00:51:28
and producing it but not specifically I know you'll figure it out it'd be nice
00:51:33
if it had like an ending and maybe maybe put Leslie in there you know um would wouldn't be a it all shakes out
00:51:42
like they shake out and at the end Kristen Wiggs always going to do well you know I mean each show it kind of was
00:51:48
like these people get lost in the shuffle these people come out ahead someone rights for them and they get a
00:51:54
good spot up front you know we're in a good spot in the studio you know how that is if you're right up front it's
00:51:58
great out in the corners right but the writers would write for you know more redundantly for someone who's scoring or
00:52:05
they think if I write with this person my sketch will get on so it becomes kind of a tape Loop where you know like I I
00:52:12
didn't really mind but I never would play a game show host which I didn't
00:52:16
need to when Phil Hartman was there the great Phil Hartman like right or or Will
00:52:22
Ferrell like certain people like that's our game show host guy but um your stuff
00:52:27
you know they would always give me the looks the looks the the word like the lines because they knew and and
00:52:34
sometimes too I would help them tell the joke that they're trying to tell like I
00:52:38
know what you're trying I know what you're trying to achieve and you're not
00:52:41
achieving it with what you wrote uh uh uh Chris Kelly and um can't think of the the other girl's name
00:52:49
the girl that used to ride with him but when I first got there Sarah Chris and Sarah at first when I got there I did
00:52:56
not like them I thought they was very you know high schooly or cliquish but honestly on real talk like they were
00:53:03
really good writers they were really good writers and they were specific about what they wanted and they would
00:53:09
write very up-to-date stuff matter of fact when they left it was noticed like yeah I remember texting them going I
00:53:16
know y'all ain't gonna believe hearing this from me but I miss you [ __ ]
00:53:25
Tim Robinson and that oh my God they would write those when they left I was like there's no hope because those four
00:53:34
people would actually write there's no hope Tim Robinson the one that does these crazy show I think of the best
00:53:41
hysterical he would write some of the best [ __ ] for me and and just like I love there was there I mean there were
00:53:49
people who tried I guess but I don't [ __ ] know I don't know if it was just
00:53:53
a certain thing that they wanted me to always be like I don't know what the [ __ ] but at some point like in my 20s
00:54:00
again in my 20s 30s you can do that [ __ ] because I can take the time to build myself on the outside and do that or
00:54:07
whatever and when it's time for me to go I'm gonna be still young but when you 47
00:54:12
hey man I was sarcastic Leslie and so they go they have all these Comedians and we're
00:54:28
all kind of the same so they just go if it's this piece of it's not just we need
00:54:32
someone funny it's like oh sarcasm give it to Spade he's that's his three
00:54:37
percent of the comedy he can do you get that line this one goofy Sandler fall down Farley it was like that kind of
00:54:44
stuff you know Schneider had a lot of accents Dane had a lot of Impressions press on Dana put a dress on him yeah
00:54:53
we'll be fine you understand what that is it's an institution is that's what
00:54:58
happens in Instagram and there's too many people so they go we've got someone
00:55:02
that can do this unless they can do that and so if it was less like in the old SNL days they might
00:55:09
say Leslie now you have to come in and play garth's girlfriend because we're
00:55:12
out of people so you and then you get bigger because you're showing more moves
00:55:17
exactly exactly exactly but and if you fumble it they don't write it for you
00:55:22
but if you go out there and do it then they might believe in it and go oh [ __ ]
00:55:25
we'll give her something else just like just let me do one just let me do one
00:55:29
yeah I you know I think Lauren looks at the writers and the castes like the Congress
00:55:36
there's just they're two different houses of government in a way yeah yeah and this they're they're in their
00:55:44
own world I think that and Lauren would say this he like when they start to cross-pollinate and integrate the
00:55:51
comedian quote unquote because I I did have a writer's credit is integrating
00:55:55
with the writers so who were your Champions I mean besides I guess Tim really or writers that just like I said
00:56:03
Tucker Tucker would always come here always come through uh I mean like I wanted to get something actually written
00:56:10
I would go to Tucker and be like hey this is what I want to write and he he would make it happen oh that's good
00:56:17
um yeah you know so or you or you write something and you go to someone good like even Rock I mean we I I was blessed
00:56:23
with all these guys around so you walk over a rock and say hey will you skim this and just see if or you come to me
00:56:29
and say Spade just give me two jokes this is a two-page update bit anything you can add and then he'd do that to a
00:56:36
couple people because everyone there where you turned was pretty funny and and that's a great way to do it and it's
00:56:41
that that feels more of a team effort but if you can just go to one of those writers because a lot of them are great
00:56:46
you know every year they have they hire solid people and you can go hey man just
00:56:51
give me five minutes it's very hard to ask and it's very hard very hard to get
00:56:55
them to actually say that they're going to do it because it was yeah they're
00:56:58
busy there's always a lot of oh yeah I'll be over there and then you don't
00:57:01
right they're they're working on theirs for seven hours at the door closed and
00:57:05
and yeah she was just a lot more of like like I would always take my sketches for Keenan
00:57:11
too and let him read it and and Keenan always gave me great notes sure go get something you know the update the update
00:57:18
team is always a different house all also because when you're doing an update
00:57:21
they're gonna give you everything you need to do with the update um but pretty much I always came in with
00:57:26
what it was I wanted to talk about and they just you know flesh it out but um yeah yeah I mean you got it I got up for
00:57:34
an Emmy though that's the one thing that's kind of interesting to do yeah
00:57:37
you're Emmy nominated and you have Awards and stuff but it's interesting
00:57:40
that in Ghostbusters you were what did you think of the character they gave for you in
00:57:47
Ghostbusters listen I always tell people this and I will and I know not a pumpkin but we did not the movie that we
00:57:58
shot didn't is not the movie that got released and and I don't spend three months in
00:58:04
[ __ ] Boston shooting a [ __ ] movie for it just not to come out to what it was supposed to come out to and I mean
00:58:11
there are so many great moments that got missed out because of press because of dumb [ __ ] sitting behind that
00:58:18
computer or computer Keys mad that women are playing Ghostbusters like I mean Trump trump even came out was like women
00:58:26
Ghostbusters like like it was [ __ ] awful it was just like awful and then it came down to the point where the studio
00:58:34
really started getting scared instead of just like [ __ ] like if they were it is bear down it [ __ ] went on and made
00:58:43
that movie like they didn't spend the money that they wanted to spend on special effects and we're like if you're
00:58:48
making a Ghostbuster movie then just special offense is like the most important [ __ ] thing like yeah go
00:58:54
ahead there were scenes there was a scene and I will always say I even put this in a book there's a scene with
00:59:00
Chris him where when he's on top of the movie theater and possessed by The Ghost
00:59:05
and he's making the the soldiers dance and Michael Williams did did a thriller
00:59:12
like uh routine it was the best thing you will ever see ever it was the two and the dude that played the um I can't
00:59:23
think of his name that played the white FBI agent he like white white no rhythm but he learned that [ __ ] uh
00:59:31
routine and it was freaking incredible nowhere in the movie not even test screening you never saw it
00:59:39
you see it in the credits they put it in the credits you like wow what it was it was so there were so many
00:59:48
um uh uh stunt scenes that men and and Kate did there were so many scenes between Melissa and Kristen that
00:59:56
explained their [ __ ] friendship they that like when you look at this movie it you don't understand why
01:00:03
they're such friend but the scenes that they cut out would explain all of that
01:00:08
it was so annoying because it was just more of like I don't understand how come my Society
01:00:15
is the way that it is if anything you're you have a daughter why would you tell
01:00:21
your daughter she couldn't be a Ghostbuster right it seems like that's not where you
01:00:26
you know die in your sword is the Ghostbusters yeah I was ridiculous I mean it was so
01:00:33
absurd that it was a problem for whatever part of humanity I don't know the small chorus that's makes noise
01:00:39
online but I mean that experience the filming of it was fun because we really expected it to be such a great movie
01:00:49
what we were filming we were like this [ __ ] is gonna this is gonna make all those [ __ ] shut up and yeah
01:00:55
I'll tell you it's one of the one times that I ever learned the most valuable
01:00:59
lesson in my life is that I never ever let anything go out without me watching it first and we were so confident that
01:01:07
the movie was going to be so good none of us saw the movie before it came out they they asked us did we want to go see
01:01:12
it and we were like oh no you can't [ __ ] this up oh wow yes they can well sometimes they
01:01:19
don't let you sometimes you see it and you don't like it and they go too late
01:01:22
and that's that's frustrating too because you go oh my God now I gotta do
01:01:24
press and I gotta be like this is not what I thought it's monstrously made and
01:01:31
I don't know the circumstance behind the scene but man is a movie made in the
01:01:34
editing room and I I was they let Mike and I in the editing room for Wayne's
01:01:39
World one and the foxy lady scene with Garth it was just all wrong and so I was able to fix it it's not simple if it's
01:01:47
your thing but I I'd love to say that that's an unusual Story the only thing
01:01:52
that's bizarre is you know it's it's such an unforced error whoever directed
01:01:57
or whoever made it because you had Melissa McCarthy you had Leslie Jones you had Chris Christian wig and Kate
01:02:04
mcginnon so that's uh that's an All-Star Superstar cast a third version now we
01:02:09
should be on the third version of what the that's how good it was when we were
01:02:14
taping it and it's just it just it just goes through those machines and it spits
01:02:22
out some [ __ ] that we didn't even recognize like you think you have four great you have four great Comedians and
01:02:28
then you go you're actually trying every day for three months to be funny not
01:02:31
walking through it everyone said they have scenes together they're not gonna
01:02:35
go home without going it's got to be funnier 30 pounds doing that shoot and let me
01:02:40
tell you something the [ __ ] things that the guys had we had metal [ __ ] packs on us that we were in the Sun
01:02:50
every day there was one night we showed up and I literally thought that Paul Faye had turned into my college coach
01:02:58
because he literally said line up and just start running we were like with these packs on
01:03:08
we had to run forwards and backwards for two hours [Music] if you if they could tell you how good
01:03:19
the movie do ahead of time you would work harder because you go oh this one it's like when you're busting up you're
01:03:25
like is this even in the movie and how much running do You Really Gonna two seconds of this you need to get like
01:03:31
straight just like attacked like it was like a hidden attack was just like it made me just lose faith in humanity
01:03:41
because I was just like what this is not real this is a movie yeah what are they attacking why are
01:03:51
they attacking you for because Dana sometimes that happens like I've done in
01:03:56
movies where the first two reviews aren't good and you go oh no this is the one where they all decide oh let's all
01:04:03
jump on this one and hate it oh it was it was a mother a [ __ ] feel like I'm
01:04:08
talking about racist I'm talking about people jacking off on my pictures sending it to me I'm talking about
01:04:13
people sending me videos talking about they gonna kill me that they're gonna
01:04:16
[ __ ] hang me they got like like real talk on me like like the type of [ __ ] that you go what the [ __ ] is mentally
01:04:23
wrong with you yeah it's Ghostbusters it was crazy right right yeah sorry to hear that that's because you
01:04:34
it's just that it's a goofy movie you're just trying to get some laughs really
01:04:38
yeah everybody was like oh wow that's even worse you're the [ __ ] Ghostbusters I had
01:04:49
coming up to me going I know the problem with film is that in the edit or whatever they're cutting out
01:04:58
it doesn't go from funny to a little less funny it goes from funny to not funny no I don't know how many cooks
01:05:07
were in the kitchen on Ghostbusters but that that's a Surefire way to ruin a movie one guy
01:05:14
said I don't like that scene we got to cut this scene and then the whole souffle gets all caught up I've been in
01:05:19
it I don't even want to talk about the movies I've been in I try to you know I
01:05:24
I just walk out and go I saw the dailies it was funny I you know I would just put a lot of
01:05:30
moving Masters on the on the four of you you know like not a lot of cutting just
01:05:33
let them do their dance and not play it out not beat the [ __ ] out of it or in your case I guess whole whole sales
01:05:40
scenes were cut it's heartbreaking that's why God gave us stand up whenever
01:05:45
you need to cleanse your palate then you can be a total exactly exactly you know
01:05:51
what they were doing this is what I I said I was going to put out in the universe why not because Michael passed
01:05:56
on it would be great if they just re remastered that movie I know they still got the [ __ ] remastered and actually put
01:06:03
the [ __ ] in there that was supposed to be in there that would be great to see that movie why don't let's let's just
01:06:09
say for flying the wall let's let's do a remastering because digital space
01:06:13
whether Ted sarandos is listening or somebody whoever the studio is let's do
01:06:18
a Rema they do it all the time and really have someone and go and do a comprehensive edit don't just add it on
01:06:24
and see we get this new version that uh you witnessed I'm uh David are you in
01:06:29
favor of that I'm in favor oh my God the dancing alone what the Dylan did alone so much stuff they cut
01:06:37
out that was just like so just so good and the money wasted because they they spend so much of those movies and then
01:06:44
they start to pull back when they come out and you go no no no just go all in if you've spent the money just go all in
01:06:49
across your feet literally but when they get 20 more minutes added on to it if the 20 more of just I just went just you
01:06:57
just why and yeah well uh heart yeah yeah it was a lesson that I learned I learned a lot of [ __ ] when I did
01:07:09
Ghostbusters I learned how to handle everything yes and you learned about ghosts
01:07:17
um Leslie um I have to ask her one more thing and we're gonna let her go but you know Time
01:07:24
Magazine one of the most 100 influential people Russell Crowe writes it right now
01:07:29
how do you even get to Russell Crowe who's a big star oh you love Russell Crowe I guess the question you asked is
01:07:36
how do you get to a gladiator sir yeah or a mask yeah Russell Russell is a brute
01:07:44
oh yeah and I said I love that guy and he loves he loves it that's that's he's
01:07:48
a masculine man and again I know how to play people's things you know you you
01:07:55
play on it everybody was so scared of him when he came in and no one liked him because he's a brute well he's got that
01:08:01
incredible voice yeah and then he said I think he said to Lindsey's chicken it's
01:08:05
like oh you must be the pretty blonde girl that's gonna show me around I'm
01:08:09
like wrestle old school I love I love me some Russ and and just he he knew that that's I knew that about
01:08:27
him because every time I saw him you know men like that you know like he sat like doing a pitch you know how they sit
01:08:34
in the chair yeah no he got he got in Higgins chair and then sat on top of it so he was higher than him so you know
01:08:42
what I did right I sat right up under him like I was one of his [ __ ] [Laughter]
01:08:56
and he loved it you you played your and everybody was so mad at me but nobody could control him
01:09:03
without me like I had to take his notes in I had to do all his promos with him I did all that
01:09:09
yeah okay wow I love this some Russell Crowe he just just he just the real you know he just
01:09:18
yeah Cowboy yeah I like that old school he's he's a badass yeah Master and
01:09:24
Commander by the way if he's listening brilliant movie with Russ did say anything you want to say it's a nice uh
01:09:33
I just want to remind people of the book and um yeah Leslie [ __ ] Jones is it's a
01:09:40
very very incredible Adventure that she tells us this story is amazing and I guess uh just where what would you where
01:09:49
are you going next I mean you're you're doing a tour how are you feeling right
01:09:52
now creatively and what what can we look forward to sorry it sounds like a TV question but no it's so many things um I
01:09:59
got the book tour coming I'm gonna do more days for my tour coming up but flag
01:10:03
means uh our flag means death will be coming out um I did hit monkey um with uh Jason Sudeikis that's gonna
01:10:10
be oh Jason so the movie yeah okay yeah so we um and and then we got a lot of projects but you know a lot of things
01:10:17
are on on uh cold right now yeah right yeah but we got a lot of things cooking lots of things cooked great
01:10:26
has to do a movie with Brian Fuller and uh the Sigourney Weaver I can never say it right Sigourney Weaver all right
01:10:36
I'm gonna be playing an FBI agent I like that so you're busy as hell and
01:10:42
you're you're sick you're happy and we're just you're yeah uh it's it's just
01:10:46
great because your journey I I know this third time I've said it is amazing you're such a Survivor and what your dad
01:10:52
always told you right just become undeniable you know you can win but just become undeniable like you know where
01:10:59
they can't fire you they can't fire you yeah and it's just like in the stand-up
01:11:06
hierarchy you became the person that no one wanted to follow and eventually of course you're a headliner then then
01:11:13
you're at the top of that mountain but because no one wanted to follow you or
01:11:17
could follow you yeah and yeah oh God how I wish he was alive and see it oh he would love this [ __ ] yeah
01:11:26
wow that is that's Bittersweet yeah yeah you haven't did it yeah please read her
01:11:33
book if you want if you want his inspiration about overcoming and tenacity that's what I took away from it
01:11:41
yeah I'm like freaking out that's so crazy well well we don't usually recommend
01:11:50
books from heathens and Sinners and people like to do nasty things with all the boys but this one Leslie swear word
01:11:59
jones is a one it's a wonderful Jesus loves you and we all do too I had to give it to
01:12:08
you I don't do church later on the podcast but I will do it all day for you oh my God oh
01:12:20
my God Leslie we enjoyed you so much you are so much so special honey and as far as the
01:12:29
book all I'm going to say is it's special who was it written by Satan there you go
01:12:40
that's it that's the one that's the one that's the mic drop ah Leslie it's been so much so much fun
01:12:49
hanging out with you on this Zoom so much for having me on here I really appreciate you guys you're very [ __ ]
01:12:54
sweet and kind and I appreciate I I appreciate your because I respect both of you so thank you so much thank you
01:13:01
we're gonna run into each other and uh you're gonna hug me and pick me up off
01:13:05
the ground yeah I'm gonna pick you up I've been working out I'm up to 30
01:13:10
push-ups no still won't be able to pick me up okay true that well well well we like to
01:13:20
pick men up don't we and squeeze them in their naughty area um anyway sorry I'm making Leslie giggle
01:13:27
she's out she's collapsing oh my God I'm so thrilled I'm gonna I'm
01:13:33
gonna get your phone number and leave you a message as the church lady yeah if you leave me messages I swear to God I
01:13:39
would live by them this has been a podcast presentation of cadence 13. please listen then rate
01:13:46
review and follow all episodes available now for free wherever you get your podcast no joke folks
01:13:55
fly on the wall has been a presentation of cadence 13 executive produced by Dana
01:13:59
Carvey and David Spade Chris Corcoran of cadence 13 and Charlie feinen of brillstein entertainment the show's lead
01:14:05
producers Greg Holtzman with production and Engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of cadence 13.