00:00:00
John Malany, one of the top standups out there, plays some big rooms. Uh, writer
00:00:05
on SNL, really moved up the ranks, went on to host about five times. >> Yeah.
00:00:10
>> Very smart, well-liked, has a crazy past, great story. Uh, and we go through
00:00:18
pretty much all of it. >> Yep. we go through it because I when I was hosting SNL, I guess it was 2010 or
00:00:23
something, he was just uh him and Bill her were like writing partners and they did all their stuff together. So, I
00:00:31
didn't even know him as a performer, you know, and then all of a sudden >> uh couple years later he's got this
00:00:38
great standup special and he's gone on from there. Um, and we talk about, you
00:00:43
know, he started to leap to big rooms, you know, so it's it's it's kind of a
00:00:49
cool story. He's a very nice guy, very humble guy, and and extremely bright, as
00:00:54
you would think, to talk to about comedy and all things show business. >> And I got to hang out with him at the
00:01:00
50th. All right. Well, here he is, >> John Melany. By the way, I love the show. I've
00:01:11
listened to every episode. Um, even Juds. >> Even Juds. Interesting. He wasn't even on SNL, but it was fine.
00:01:21
>> But he's discovered so many movie stars from it. >> Uh, yes, he is somebody who just gets
00:01:29
stuff done. Like if you call him with an idea, he does have that engine. Let's just make it. Let's do it. you
00:01:37
know, I don't know if you you don't need to get anything from him, right?
00:01:41
>> Um, so we reached a point in our friendship where I didn't it was kind of
00:01:47
clear I wasn't going to try to write a movie for him. You know, there's like
00:01:50
everyone my generation was in a stable where he just kind of I think without even holding deals or money. He just had
00:02:00
so many people like myself, Ken Peele, the Lucas Brothers, all Bill her, Simon Rich, all these people had a movie deal
00:02:08
with Jud. >> And I would kind of watch it and be like, "Wow, everyone from SNL on their
00:02:15
summer break writes a hundred drafts of a Jud movie. and he doesn't make them.
00:02:21
He he makes one movie every two three years. So if he's making train wreck, that means it's like all these people I
00:02:27
know whose like you know thing has passed over. So as soon as I as soon as he and I had some weird unsaid
00:02:35
understanding that I was never going to write a movie for him, we became a lot closer because then we could just talk
00:02:41
about standup. We're talking about Jud Appatile, David. Yeah, I um he does seem
00:02:47
to whenever there's a shiny object that that emerges on the scene, it seems like
00:02:52
Jud is is there. He's recognizing it early. >> It's always It's funny to me when he
00:02:58
like people go like Jud has an eye for talent. It's like, well, they're on SNL,
00:03:04
you know? >> It's not It's not rocket science. >> It is a bit not it is kind of not rocket
00:03:11
science. I had a spectacular accidental set at the improv once and Carol Leafer I think contacted
00:03:20
Jud and saying it's different now. So then we he started emailing me and stuff. I go I'm almost dead. I mean
00:03:28
there's nothing there's nothing left here. But anyway, but uh I he's affable,
00:03:34
you know. I we we did the podcast in person with him. It was kind of nice actually.
00:03:39
>> That is nice. Yeah. >> Yeah. Now, I saw I saw John uh just so the people know. I don't know John very
00:03:46
well at all, but I I uh obviously think you're funny. And so, here's my microphone.
00:03:52
>> Said so said so business-like. >> I would say that your your standup is
00:03:58
really starting to come into its own. You were very you you've got that thing
00:04:02
figured out >> in the last week. >> Yeah. >> Over the weekend.
00:04:06
>> I was eat I was eating it. I was bombing so hard till last week finally.
00:04:11
>> Can I can I just say the first time I met John because they really made me
00:04:15
laugh. So I go I'm hosting the show. Uh I go in a little room. It's Bill her and
00:04:20
John and I didn't know them. They didn't know me. Like what do you want to do?
00:04:24
You know, and I didn't know. I thought people might say a Wayne's World thing
00:04:27
or something like that or and you guys both said uh our favorite thing you've
00:04:33
ever done is Mickey Rooney. >> Yeah. And like that was your Mickey Rooney was,
00:04:43
you know, we were talking about how we were going to ask you to do it before you came in the room. It was it was sort
00:04:50
of like, okay, the the week is here. He's here. >> I immediately >> And by the way,
00:04:56
>> Dana, you then told us we knew the impression from >> um Theater Stories, the sketch you did
00:05:05
on the show. Mhm. >> I had never heard the unused anecdotes of Mickey Rooney until that day and I
00:05:14
think it's the hardest I've ever laughed. >> Um >> was the uh was the Juan Corona story
00:05:20
which you now have to tell. >> Oh >> yeah. >> Um Mickey Rooney, he was a down point in
00:05:26
his career and he had a 38 revolver with him at all times. We were, you know, and
00:05:30
he would wave it around. >> He was he had >> he was at one of the rare down points.
00:05:35
Yeah. And he had the gun and he walk around and New York had a crime spree going then in like 1981. He would said
00:05:41
he would walk around with his hand on the 38 and they're not going to get me,
00:05:45
you know. But he he said he told a story where he his idea >> at this time Dana at this time Dana you
00:05:52
you were doing a multicam with him. >> Yes. >> In 30 Rockefeller >> with Meg Ryan, Nathan Lane, Scatman Cars
00:06:00
uh in where Letterman and then Conan did their thing. though. But he did at one point said he wanted to go meet Juan
00:06:07
Corona, the serial killer or whatever murderer. >> And he he says I was going to walk in
00:06:12
there and say, "Do you know my name?" And he say, "I'm Mickey Rooney." And
00:06:16
then I was going to plug him. >> If I do Mickey Rooney stories, every time I start to talk about them with
00:06:25
people, there's new tributaries and things that I forgot to mention. But maybe that Mickey stories do that as a
00:06:32
sub podcast like a 20 minute a week. >> I think about I think about the Mickey
00:06:36
story a lot because >> I like that he thought he could walk into a maximum security prison.
00:06:46
>> Like he he what he had worked out in his mind was what he was going to say.
00:06:51
>> Yeah. >> Not not any of the logistics of walking in. I believe Juan Corona was probably
00:06:56
a commuted death row sentence, but he would have not been just in an open prison sitch where Mickey Rooney could
00:07:03
walk in land land a great in quotes line and then shoot him. >> I never went that far of the logistics
00:07:12
of his mindset like how would he get in there? How you know? >> He Yeah, he but he worked out. He goes,
00:07:18
"Listen, I don't know how to get a gun into a jail. I I don't know what'll
00:07:21
happen the moment after I fire it, but I've got I've know what I'm going to
00:07:24
say, which is, "Do you know who I am?" >> John, I've been in a lot of gunfights
00:07:28
out in the street and you you think you'll have a lot of time to do oneliners, but it just moves too
00:07:33
quickly. >> That's true. A lot of people only plan the logistics and then they don't
00:07:38
>> when they land on their mark, they don't have a great line. >> That's right. Or you miss it and you go,
00:07:42
"Ah, the one chance I had and I kind of fluffered my line." What I would have
00:07:46
liked is if Mickey Rooney entered the prison, >> uh, looked at Juan Corona and said, "Do
00:07:53
you know who I am?" And if Juan Corona said, "You're Mickey Rooney." Then
00:07:57
Mickey Rooney wouldn't be able to go Mickey Rooney. And then I that could have saved Juan's life
00:08:03
>> cuz they would have had he had to explain what he was in. Oh yeah. He goes, "Oh, you are Mickey." No, no. Or
00:08:09
if he said, "You're Don Knots." And then he goes, "Wait, >> Don Knots.
00:08:14
I was throwing the whole vibe off. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You know, uh, John is wearing a hoodie,
00:08:19
Dana. And, um, I feel like >> most people see don't see you out and about. So, is it sort of hoodie, suit,
00:08:29
suit, hoodie? What is it? Is there any in between? >> Um, since having a baby, it is.
00:08:36
>> Congratulations. >> The same pair. Thank you. the same pair of >> elastic drawstring khakis
00:08:45
>> and a free t-shirt. >> That is what I wear. >> Merch or something.
00:08:50
>> Yeah, like a a Jimmy Kimmel t-shirt. Uh >> I have a um I have one from the Robin
00:08:57
Hood Foundation from a charity thing I did. I have one for every venue. I ask for a free t-shirt. Uh, I have a Houston
00:09:06
Astros one, a team and a city I have no affiliation with. I wear that very >> often. But John, doesn't that invite
00:09:13
conversation? Like I just wear black t-shirts. If I wear anything with something on it invites conversation and
00:09:19
I'm an introvert at like an airport or something, >> also known as an [ __ ]
00:09:24
>> Yeah, I remember. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's true. Especially in a black
00:09:27
t-shirt. >> You can't be introverted and wear a black t-shirt. It's very standoffish.
00:09:31
>> Yes. Yes. They say, "Hey, how about those Astros?" And John's in the airport
00:09:36
going, "Oh, fuck." >> Then John later that night, >> yeah, I go, "Yeah, they've got a full
00:09:41
team this year." And I >> looks like they got a roster. >> But maybe John's the kind of
00:09:46
>> full roster this year. >> You're the type of comedian that if
00:09:48
someone said, "How about those Astros at the airport?" It seems to me that you
00:09:53
might have 10 minutes on it within a day or two. the way you write things out uh
00:09:58
from a >> hell I know I'm a bit of a I'm a bit of a story seeker. So, um
00:10:04
>> David is too. >> Yeah, I think I'd be delighted if that happened.
00:10:06
>> Me, too. >> You know what I saw on your uh when I was looking up stuff about you? Oh, I
00:10:12
have a couple questions. One, when you started uh I mean, this is SNL stuff. We can go backwards.
00:10:18
>> It's like I do with comedy notes. It's just >> Yeah, you're you're [ __ ] You're going
00:10:22
to get from all sides. >> No, we we just go wherever. We've We're already halfway through.
00:10:26
>> I start I when I started, Lauren, um I saw a couple things you did uh talking
00:10:31
about SNL and we're just going to really regurgitate them for a slightly bigger
00:10:35
audience. We don't know. >> And I hope we'll have a chance to go through what the week is like.
00:10:40
>> Yeah. We're going to talk about No one's ever been covered in any media. Yeah.
00:10:45
>> And what your relationship is with Lauren Michaels. We're going to break
00:10:48
break the seal on that, >> dude. The the code of Amuerta that surrounds that office.
00:10:54
I like that the code of them where >> when you started did you do Here's my
00:10:59
question because I was assigned promos. Did you do promos? >> Right. >> Um so all writers wrote a promo. You're
00:11:10
talking about the Thursday standing on the stage promo. >> Yep. >> All writers had to submit promos.
00:11:17
I was I I wasn't uniquely bad at it, but that's kind that's not a skill I have.
00:11:24
>> That's a very special skill. >> I always wanted promos to be really
00:11:30
minimal and weird and I would try to engineer that to happen. Um, and of course, uh, I was wrong. I just I don't
00:11:40
have a knack for that. I was very jealous to hear that you were on the floor every week when you were writer
00:11:45
doing promo. >> Did you hear that? Oh, that is true. Yeah. Um, >> yeah. Where you were said that on this
00:11:49
podcast. Yeah. >> Yeah. What happened was I was an okay writer and I was new and it was sort of
00:11:54
jury duty. Like Downey would be like, "Who can we lose for the the couple hours during the rewrites?" And none of
00:12:01
the writers wanted to do it cuz your your nose is in the rewrites. And so we go send Spade down and Lauren Lauren and
00:12:09
I got along. But you know, there's not much getting along there. It's just
00:12:11
promos. But you do get to see the host in the music, which that's fun. But the
00:12:15
pressure >> that that Thursday that Thursday afternoon mess of like uh you know Tom
00:12:23
Petty and the Heartbreakers uh doing soundcheck and then >> Mhm. >> trying to corral a host and a cast
00:12:29
member for promos was a lot of fun. >> Oh that is true. They like to have a
00:12:32
cast member in and you could write them in. And it was kind of a little power trip, but you have to say for people
00:12:37
listening, there's like I don't know 10 seconds and then you have to put hi, I'm
00:12:43
blank with musical guest blank and then there's like 4 seconds left for a joke
00:12:48
and they've already done 10 million promos. You're trying to think of anything weird or different. And I would
00:12:53
personally have to write about 20, give them to Marcy Klein, she would hand them
00:12:58
in to Lauren or whoever were the host. And they would kill a lot of them, you know, like the host would kill a couple.
00:13:04
>> They kill them now having hosted, they kill them with prejudice. They even go
00:13:09
like, "We hate this one. We hate that. We hate this one. We know you won't like
00:13:14
it. It's mean. It's mean about you. This writer's an [ __ ] you know, read it."
00:13:19
And I go, "Oh, okay." >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This writer is trying
00:13:23
to [ __ ] you over. I remember I just saw a clip of someone >> on Instagram and it was a live shot of
00:13:29
promos and it was Eddie Veter was music. Amelia West is the host and it's me and
00:13:35
Lauren just milling around in the black back and I'm pointing pointing and showing Eddie Vet or something and then
00:13:40
Lauren nods his head like do that one do the one then we step back and they go three two. So they had like a three
00:13:46
minute chunk of promos which was I didn't know they're filming. It's so
00:13:49
weird that that would get out somewhere. And wouldn't Lauren, if you finally got
00:13:52
it, wouldn't he put his hands in his pocket and then turn and walk away? I don't know. It seemed like
00:13:58
>> I liked it. >> Hands in the pocket and he would pivot. >> But I like You like it? Yeah.
00:14:02
>> I like say something cryptic like, "Well, less is less." >> Yeah.
00:14:08
>> Um, some people think it's funny. See you on See you at the party. >> Are we trying to repel viewers?
00:14:17
>> You know, we're on in all 50 states. I feel like was a note I got a lot on
00:14:22
monologue jokes as if I was I was so as if I was writing like for the crowd at CBGB's in New York.
00:14:32
>> Sort of like he goes I know below 14th Street that works. He said >> I love that he literally just thinks of
00:14:39
America as just New York. >> Uh especially right before there's going to be a vacation or a break. It'd be
00:14:46
this our last show before the break and it would be like nice if it was like really really funny.
00:14:52
>> You're gonna see a lot of people over the break and wouldn't you like it if
00:14:55
they said, "Hey, that last show was really good." >> No, we're not nervous enough.
00:14:59
>> And also I was like, "Are you seeing a bunch of people during break?" Cuz I'm
00:15:03
laying on my couch watching DVDs with like a sty in my eye. Only Lauren was doing heavy socializing during the
00:15:09
break. >> His endurance to work that. Yeah. No one like him. A lot of people will tell you
00:15:14
you're the funniest one in the show. You're not. >> Wow. >> That's what I got a lot
00:15:18
>> really. >> And I go, "Oh." And he goes, "It just happens. It's okay." And I go, "Well, it
00:15:25
stings a little to hear that. I did I didn't knock on his door and say, Lauren, I'm hearing a lot of people
00:15:33
say I'm the funniest person." It could be actually it be now kind of being now being out of it for many years
00:15:41
and and having a wonderful >> I mean I always love Lauren but having a really nice relationship with him. It
00:15:47
would be fun to go back and do those things. >> Do you think I went I don't mean to
00:15:52
interrupt you. You're with Chris Dodd but do you think I'm the funniest writer?
00:15:58
>> Senator Senator >> because a lot of people in my family in my high school say I should be on more.
00:16:03
Thoughts on that? I have family in Milwaukee that think I should be on. They're [ __ ] you, man.
00:16:13
>> Well, you weren't as stressed, were you? Because you were just writing and then
00:16:16
they would pop you an update, which is like more of a gift and it wasn't expected. Total gift.
00:16:21
>> It's probably better. >> I had the absolute best situation um that you could ask for.
00:16:29
Uh, honestly, like I look back on it and I was I had a there were a few gifts. Um, it looked like you were getting up
00:16:37
and leaving, David. >> No, no, I I haven't even >> No, I like the idea that like as a
00:16:40
listener that sometimes when someone's about to go into a long story, David always just does a quick errand.
00:16:46
>> Yeah, I go I just got to go wash my car. >> Um, so I writing there means producing
00:16:53
there like as you know. So you got to produce live television. you work with every department and you're really you
00:17:00
really own your piece. You you do everything for it and you're given you're given a nice amount of credit
00:17:06
behind the scenes for it. Um I'd already been doing standup and continued doing
00:17:11
it and do you know what made the biggest difference though? I got to pop up on update and honestly Bill her when when
00:17:19
he would do press about the sh you know about about something and they'd talk to
00:17:24
him about sketches on the show >> it means a lot to me the more the more over the years I think about it like he
00:17:31
would always name me and give me credit for it. >> Yeah. >> Um which
00:17:36
was not done a lot before that and >> um just >> I try not to do it.
00:17:42
>> Yeah. No, I try not to do it now that I'm more of an on camera guy,
00:17:47
>> but um no, I uh that seems it really meant a lot because it was sort of like,
00:17:52
oh, there uh I I I felt like I had a bit of a um reputation in comedy as oh there
00:17:58
he's a writer there and we sometimes hear about what he's written, >> right? And at the same time, I got to
00:18:03
pop up on Update a couple times, which like, yeah, that's just that's just 10
00:18:10
million people. I've been on VH1 uh VH1's Best Week ever a 100,000 times
00:18:17
at that point. So, I was like, I've been on TV, but >> how what was your what was your nerve
00:18:21
level? >> That's one of my questions about best week ever, >> being a writer and then doing Update.
00:18:26
Where was your because you're not acclimated to performing. you're writing
00:18:29
and all of a sudden you're in that chair and they throw you out. >> That Saturday, that Saturday was like,
00:18:34
"Oh, not only am I >> Yeah. >> terrified as not only am I under a lot
00:18:39
of stress as a writer, but I like I have to go out there tonight." Yeah. Those
00:18:45
were those were out of body. >> Do you remember what you did? What what what your first one was? Like here comes
00:18:51
John Melany saying a word. Yeah, I had a it was Girl Scout cookie season and I did an editorial about how like the Girl
00:18:58
Scout business model is completely flawed because they have a like tremendously popular product that they
00:19:04
sell once a year in front of like a Gson's, you know, from a little lunch table. Um, I can't remember specific
00:19:12
jokes about it, but uh that was that. Uh, so it was like I remember thinking before I did it, I was like, "This isn't
00:19:20
really I I this is sort of like a uh I've got a complaint about the Girl Scout cookies, you know, like hey, Girl
00:19:28
Scouts." But I was sort of like I I I'm so inexperienced at this. I'd rather
00:19:32
play an attitude. So like, >> you know, I'd rather pretend to be the guy actually mad about this, right, than
00:19:39
not have >> Matt Matt is not a bad angle on Update. No. When you need a when you need
00:19:44
something and you're have nothing. It's it's good to act like you are
00:19:48
exasperated by >> Did you pound the table and get animated or did you kind of push it?
00:19:54
>> I remember at one point I go, "Have you ever put Thin Mints in the freezer?
00:19:57
They're delicious. Like sell them year round." It was just it was a real like
00:20:01
uh when in doubt, act extremely exasperated. Which I've followed my whole career. But I remember before I
00:20:08
went out on the update desk, Lauren looked at me and he said, um, he goes, "Relax your face." He goes, "When you
00:20:14
get out there, take a beat. Relax your face." >> Oh, funny. >> And look directly into the camera like
00:20:20
you're talking to someone, you know. But I remember relax your face was a good
00:20:24
note because I was going to come out >> like this >> looking extremely highrung.
00:20:33
>> John, let me add Dana. I just have seven in a row. I have seven in a row for
00:20:37
John. >> Questions. >> Uh John, when you go out there and it's Saturday and you're doing update,
00:20:44
>> I think when you're writer, the one extra love uh layer you don't think of
00:20:49
is how you look. And it sounds egotistical, but all day you're like, "Oh, wait. I got to get hair, makeup.
00:20:55
What am I wearing?" >> And and then sometimes they'll go, "I
00:20:59
wouldn't wear that." >> And you go, "For an update? What do I
00:21:03
wear?" And they won't tell you what to wear. But >> yeah, not that.
00:21:06
>> Yeah. >> Not that. Yeah. No, I remember I brought my little shirt and sport coat from home
00:21:13
>> and it was like a blue shirt and a navy blue jacket. It was the, you know,
00:21:16
safest >> safest possible choice. I >> tested safest. Yeah. >> I remember showing it to Tom Broker in
00:21:25
costumes and being like I go I go I was thinking of this and he goes he g he went Yeah. as if like to say like,
00:21:33
"Look, we couldn't we have an entire show to design. We couldn't possibly
00:21:37
care what you wear on on your cut it dress update." >> Well, that's honest. That's That's
00:21:43
>> You think we're getting on? Oh. Oh, you think you're going all the way to the
00:21:46
show? Oh, >> I know. Yeah, it was that. And I think I said to him like, "This this shirt
00:21:50
doesn't uh it don't worry. It doesn't like moray on camera." You know, the
00:21:55
dance on camera. >> Yeah. It doesn't dance on. Don't worry, Tom. my shirt will be fine on air.
00:22:01
>> He goes, "You'll cross my mind at 11 when I realize you're on the show."
00:22:05
>> Yeah. And then we'll ask you to maybe do something about the adult acne.
00:22:09
>> So I go, "Hey, Tom, I brought a shirt. It doesn't wrinkle. I got one of those
00:22:13
kinds. It doesn't wrinkle." He's like, "I don't give a [ __ ] dude." And I'm
00:22:15
like, "Okay." >> As if as if as if like uh Emmy and Tony award-winning costume designers would be
00:22:24
impressed by a wrinkle-free shirt. >> Yeah, I know. That's the funniest part.
00:22:27
>> How did you get that, man? They're like, "Well, we're all worried about what
00:22:29
you're doing on the show. We don't care." >> Did anyone ever call any old-timer ever
00:22:34
call you kid? Because any you used that in your specials. >> Hey kid, it ain't going to work out for
00:22:39
you, kid. I'll be honest with you, kid. >> I will say what was nice was that even
00:22:44
people like Philheims. >> Yeah. Lighting director. >> They learn they like the everyone in the
00:22:50
booth and they learn your name, which means, you know. So, I didn't get kid,
00:22:54
but I uh uh I once had a sketch on that was like an it was an impression parade.
00:23:02
It was just every cast member doing an impression and I changed it a great deal >> in between dress and air. So, on air I
00:23:09
watched in the booth and it didn't go great. >> It was a little clunky and I'm walking
00:23:15
out of the booth and Phil I walk past Phil. I'm pretty, you know, it's at a
00:23:20
low point in the season, like it's like February doldrums or something. I'm
00:23:24
walking past Phil and he goes, "Not your best work." And I and I was like getting
00:23:29
this I was getting this like I've been here four years kind of edge. So I was
00:23:34
like, "What Phil?" You know, like what >> you got up in his grill.
00:23:38
>> And he went and he went, "You know why that wasn't good?"
00:23:42
>> And I go I go, "Why?" And he goes, "None of the people sounded like the people."
00:23:47
And that's not your fault. >> But Phil, >> I know. But I like that that review of
00:23:52
an impression piece. None of the people sounded like >> Yeah, that's a really what you don't
00:23:57
want to hear. >> Just so listeners know, Philheims was he seemed old the entire time I was there.
00:24:02
And he he had this cranky exterior, but then he was an incredible heart of gold underneath and incredibly sweet,
00:24:09
>> but he was kind of intimidating in the early days. What do you want? What do
00:24:13
you want? You want a light there? We can't get it there. you know, but then he was do then he would put the light
00:24:17
there. I got it for you, kid. >> And then Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And uh we we were once doing um I think
00:24:23
Fred as Obama. >> I didn't write it. Colin Jo wrote it. It was like a Christmas time Oval Office
00:24:31
piece and we wanted um Fred to look out the um uh windows behind the desk in the
00:24:38
Oval Office and see like snow falling like a kind of a cheesy Christmas moment. So, we were I remember I was for
00:24:45
some reason on the floor with Colin and Seth. We were telling Phil how we thought it should look.
00:24:55
>> Oh, boy. >> And he looked at us and he went, "I lit John Kennedy in the White House." He
00:24:59
walked away. >> Oh, wow. >> Yeah. >> That's so >> David, I heard a story that you you and
00:25:06
Phil had like a close relationship. Is that right, >> Phils? >> Yeah. Uh, I did think I mean other than
00:25:12
having sex, we were just sort of like buddy buddy. Uh, no, we um he would just always bust my balls when I'd walk
00:25:18
around there. So, I thought it was funny. >> Well, I heard when you were hosting he
00:25:21
came out and said, "Oh, god, he's back." >> Yeah, of course.
00:25:26
>> That's very funny. >> And I heard you said And I heard you said, "Phil, I I heard you died you."
00:25:33
>> Well, he is old. >> Well, but he was 60 for 50 years. I mean, he was Yeah. You No,
00:25:39
>> he was a hard 90 when I met him. It was like that. I think one of the first
00:25:43
things I learned at SNL was that Don Partardo and Philheims, two extremely integral people here, are solidly north
00:25:51
of >> 90. Mid to late 90s and spry. >> Yeah. Like one of the most a couple of
00:25:57
the most important people here are north of 90 and like >> you got to give them a wide birth at the
00:26:04
pudding table. I I heard you say something about asking about how people date the host now and I thought it was
00:26:12
so funny because I think you were saying that it sound for us it it sounds a little dicey like back in our day the
00:26:20
hosts were so off limits as far as just it mentally you know you don't do anything and I I remember we had and you
00:26:27
have beautiful hosts we have talented I think Marissa Toé was there after my cousin Vinnie and there's so many that
00:26:33
were great But I would be so scared if if you even flirted with a host and it got back to you, you know, like they
00:26:41
complained like HR and then Lauren David, uh, were you asking out Susan Day? You're making her uncomfortable.
00:26:51
Like if it came back that you were making a host uncomfortable, wouldn't that be It's obviously worked every time
00:26:56
so far, but it seems like if you asked that host and they didn't like it, then
00:27:00
it would be so you'd be in so much trouble. I I can't I literally I didn't
00:27:05
even know we could like >> hang out. >> Yeah. I would have never been like, you
00:27:12
know, I I would always be like, I'll have I'll have the I'll have a page call
00:27:16
your manager's assistant, you know, the idea of even like reaching out personally and I wrote a lot
00:27:22
>> outside the show. I wrote a lot of mon no during the week I mean like I wrote a
00:27:25
lot of monologues and occasionally there'd be this like hey Thursday night 2 am
00:27:32
>> or Friday night 2 am the host wants the host suddenly has a thought about the
00:27:36
monologue and that that that was fine that's what the schedule was. Um but like yeah to even be to even be in um
00:27:46
contact with a host let alone ask them out the >> and without having a script in your hand
00:27:51
to walk up to him for what reason? You know what I mean? I know. >> Hey, what's up?
00:27:56
>> I I always felt like when Simon Rich and I in most weeks we wrote a monologue for
00:28:01
the host. Um I always I didn't even sense if they thought we were writers. Like I think they thought we were just
00:28:07
like two children with pieces of paper >> who kept asking them like not personal
00:28:14
questions but like Wikipedia level questions be like >> we would just be like so um maybe
00:28:19
something about I I think your family has a lot of dogs and they'd be like why
00:28:24
why are you telling me about that? Be like we're just trying to think of any
00:28:27
angle for you. Yeah, it is hard because no one introduced you like as the writers you just walk up and they go
00:28:32
ask, you know, and you have to go up to some huge star and say, "Hey, >> I I always liked Tuesday night when they
00:28:41
bring the host around to each office because they could be the biggest star in the world, but they had to sit on my
00:28:47
couch." Like, they had to sit >> on my fil like with me and Bobby Moahan
00:28:54
>> smoking inside. >> Wow. Wow. with the window cracked >> as if that's at all acceptable. And like
00:29:02
you just had to sit there, Mcjagger. >> Sit there. And now you're going to hear
00:29:06
a crummy idea. >> Now you're going to Now you're going to hear an idea that kind of makes fun of
00:29:10
you that you won't like. >> Now you're going to hear a fake idea. And then if you like it, it's a real
00:29:16
idea. I I I make fake questions. I go, "Uh, Mick, uh, can you do a Russian accent?"
00:29:25
And he goes, "Uh, probably." And I go, "No, this one's out."
00:29:30
>> I crumple it up. >> That's very >> I go, I'll save this for uh next week.
00:29:34
>> I remember pitching an idea in my office to Josh Brolan and he went, "I mean, well, it's not
00:29:41
funny." >> Yeah. >> And I thought I was like, "Okay, that's
00:29:44
the then that's the litmus test. I like I'm not gonna Oh, he was sort of like I
00:29:50
mean and he I I didn't mean to make it sound like he was really harsh. It was
00:29:55
more like well you can write it. It's not funny. And I was like well then and
00:29:59
you've just saved me a couple hours. >> You could spend the rest of the night
00:30:03
writing it. I'll I'll pull it from read through. >> Yeah. And I'll have it pulled and I'll
00:30:07
make and I'll let them know I told you I didn't like it. So you'll you'll be in
00:30:11
trouble with Marcy. Dude, when a when a host is reading a sketch and if it's
00:30:15
your sketch and they and they quietly give up in the middle, it's so sickening
00:30:20
just to watch them take a dive and like they don't really get it. >> I've seen I've seen hosts suddenly put
00:30:26
like the the celery in their mouths, like truly be like, I'm going to eat during the rest of this.
00:30:32
>> Just a signal. Yeah. >> Or they're whispering if they can get an
00:30:35
order of food sent in during your sketch, like hey, is there any way they can? >> You always try to discern a little bit.
00:30:41
I know we've talked about this before, like Lauren reading the stage directions. Does he stay involved? Does
00:30:48
he kind of think he's hooking something great or is he sort of middle of the
00:30:52
road or is he done with it? There's a whole energy thing. It's hard to tell
00:30:56
sometimes. >> Yeah, cuz Lauren reads the stage directions and he starts out pretty high
00:31:02
energy like CNN bumper. >> Yeah. >> Uh and then >> that's at 3. I like I like when he kind
00:31:10
of summarizes it towards the end. Like he'll start to summarize it like uh uh
00:31:17
Christian has a hat and walks in and it's there like he'll read a whole paragraph and boil it down to
00:31:25
uh Kristen Kristen enters uh as McIntyre five hours. >> It really takes the energy out of it and
00:31:37
you're like oh he's he gave up. Uh, David inter when people write long stage
00:31:42
directions to describe some farcical like slamming doors come like you know who's going to read that, don't you?
00:31:50
Like you know how that'll get presented at read to don't you homie? >> Yeah. Or they write like a Schneider
00:31:54
used to write or he would call you out like if you go uh and then the uh Dorman played by Phils and everyone laughs and
00:32:03
Rob goes trick not a real laugh don't count it. He would yell that out during
00:32:08
reboot. >> Yeah, he would say trick. Trick because he didn't want yelling that out.
00:32:12
>> Schneider. >> Oh, Schneider. It's a trick. It's a total trick. That's
00:32:17
>> Yeah, because you're not going to get you're not going to get that laugh on
00:32:19
the real show. That's just funny. >> Read through laugh. Read through laugh
00:32:23
flag, >> man. How How is that graded? That seems uh >> Well, that's a little harsh.
00:32:31
>> No, Schneider was funny because uh he would do things to almost intentionally
00:32:35
rub you wrong. just to go, "Ah, it's fine." >> Yeah, he was just
00:32:39
>> he he'd say about three years in, "You're coming along."
00:32:42
Uh anyway, by the way, >> copy machine guy. >> I watched your I think it was your last
00:32:49
monologue on there. >> Uh any differences hosting along the way other than you're just getting better at
00:32:53
it or you maybe you're not getting better at it? It's >> I mean five times in like with a co year
00:32:58
in between. So like in three years, five or something very >> that's a lot. Yeah. Two in 2020.
00:33:04
So, what's that all about? >> Um, two two I'd like to do two in a pandemic.
00:33:10
>> Yeah. >> Uh, >> that was the request. >> That was um >> that was a really Well, wait, what's the
00:33:17
question? >> I don't know. >> It was It It's been so cool. It's been
00:33:21
so fun. Um, I definitely have had thoughts like I'm like, "Oh, maybe the second time I
00:33:29
hosted was I I I I believe when Lauren says, "You're getting better each time." Because that
00:33:38
makes sense. There's moments where I go, "Oh, but on the second time I hosted, I
00:33:42
had this laugh here and whatever." Um, but I've had more and more fun each
00:33:46
time. The first time I hosted, I was deeply in my head about um >> yeah, normal.
00:33:52
>> This wasn't gonna be good. And this wasn't only not going to be good, but
00:33:56
everyone was going to go see, we told you to stay behind the camera. We've been clear with you
00:34:03
>> where you belong in this show. >> The audacity of you to show up and try
00:34:08
to do this. Like I really thought like uh I had a very weird kind of uh I was like I remember the Friday night before
00:34:17
I was like miserable. I was like I'm so bad at SNL and that's the thing I
00:34:22
thought I knew the best and then I had a really fun show and I realized that I was just trying to make myself miserable
00:34:29
>> because if I'm miserable the night before then it will be a good show. Like
00:34:33
that's a good trick. this trick I used to do, but I try not to do it anymore
00:34:37
because it's too excruciating throughout the day and like mental healthwise to
00:34:42
stretch myself to sorry to tie myself into knots so that I quote unquote, you know, deserve a good show because I'm so
00:34:50
miserable. Uh, by the second time I hosted, I I made an active choice. I was like, I'm gonna be happy all week. I'm
00:34:56
going to have fun all week. and if it's a bad show, then I'll know >> that it was wrong to have fun, but at
00:35:04
least I will have had fun. >> And it was a very good show. So, since then, I've been like, you have to enjoy
00:35:09
these weeks, otherwise um otherwise what's the point? >> It is it is funny to take such a beating
00:35:17
of over yourself when you host. Dana probably feels the same way. You're just
00:35:21
so stressed and then at the end you're like, why do I even do this? Like right
00:35:25
before the show, you're like, I feel so sick and tied up and twisted and then
00:35:29
you go, I did it. You're like, so I did it now. Now the fun starts and with the
00:35:33
rap party is the only time I'm starting to have fun. It's over and you realize
00:35:37
could I just >> get to the point or have fun the whole time? >> I had a little bit of uh I couldn't
00:35:43
really live up to what the lucky crazy fortunate three or four years I had on the show with Wayne's World and all this
00:35:50
stuff. So, you know, it was always you'll do Church Lady and then it was you'll do George Bush uh senior and it's
00:35:58
like 18 years later. So, there I the the thing in my head was like how do I compete with that across the board and
00:36:06
that was a very that was kind of difficult for my I thought and especially I think what's nice the way
00:36:11
you're it's happening for you John is that it's kind of condensed. It's not
00:36:15
like you hosted it in 2013 and then you're coming back eight years later. I think it's kind of nice that you've done
00:36:22
five already in a short period of time just to acclimate to that. >> Yeah. Yeah. That no one's expecting a
00:36:29
lot of growth. >> Well, but you have those crazy those standup specials and then your monologue
00:36:35
is always great pretty much right. I mean, that's that's your superpower.
00:36:40
>> And so that that sets a great, >> but also like I remember saying to
00:36:44
Gerard Carmichael, who had an amazing episode as a host this year, who's a brilliant comedian and a brilliant many
00:36:51
things. I remember um I was like, it was when I was talking to him I realized I was like, "Oh, you know what? It's it's
00:36:59
eight minutes of standup uh in front of 10 million people. Um and you're the only thing
00:37:11
I realize it's like you're the only thing on NBC for 10 minutes. Like you're
00:37:16
the your standup is the only thing happening on Saturday night. >> Also very relaxing.
00:37:22
>> I I find that kind of uh emboldening. It's like wow. >> You got to go out with an attitude.
00:37:28
Dude, I mean, how do you do your specials? I mean, how many times do you shoot a special like say Kid Gorgeous?
00:37:34
>> Just two two shows. That's two in one night. >> Two shows. Um, I think it was one night.
00:37:40
>> Yeah. And so, how do you deal with that pressure if the first show in your mind
00:37:44
is like a C++? Just in your mind. >> The first show of Kid Gorgeous was a C++
00:37:49
in my mind. >> I was so disappointed. I couldn't believe it. I'd been on tour for so long
00:37:55
and now this special was bad. It was going to be so bad that everyone would be mad at me uh or disappointed in me
00:38:02
and say, "You used to be good and you're bad and we don't like you and all of
00:38:06
that stuff." And >> have you had therapy? >> Um, we'll talk about that.
00:38:10
>> No, it's it's it's funny. >> I've had a ton of it, so go ahead.
00:38:14
>> Well, John, also the the cameras are there. It it I've done a few, but the
00:38:18
the cameras are there. It just throws it off somehow. It's just not a normal club
00:38:22
or theater night when there's cameras. Everyone, the audience is stressed. Everyone's different. It's just not the
00:38:28
way it normally is. >> I The thing is like I remembered that it's um I I thought one the second show felt
00:38:38
better. So that so when I when I say I came to some epiphany, I didn't. Just
00:38:43
the second show felt better. But were I to pretend I had an epiphany that night,
00:38:47
I'd say no one else has done every show with me, so they're not comparing them.
00:38:53
Yeah. >> And this is the film of the material like >> um a special I a special is for the
00:39:00
cameras. And I I think it was um Whitney Cummings gave me that advice after she had done
00:39:07
her sitcom Whitney and then she did her first special after that. And I remember
00:39:10
she said to me, "We play so big because we're trying to play it at the back of
00:39:14
the room." But um she I I think it had been something she learned doing a you
00:39:19
know three camera sitcom like it's for the camera. And I've thought about that
00:39:23
each time since that it's for the camera. The size of the performance is for the camera. Um,
00:39:28
>> and also you I mean where where the area where you could maybe have a good night
00:39:33
or a bad night because the material is immaculate and it's really really it's
00:39:36
like a magic trick. It's so fun to watch your standup. >> Oh, thank organically.
00:39:42
>> He's talking to me. >> Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. >> I said that to David before the show.
00:39:47
But then you're also doing a lot of uh sneakily physical comedy and you're
00:39:51
throwing your voice and you're moving. So you're you're performing it as well.
00:39:55
So I would I would assume on some nights with a hot crowd you may take a rhythm slightly further or the bit you did
00:40:02
about Jagger. Not funny. You'd throw one more in. Is that the where there's a
00:40:06
little bit of improv when when you're on and the crowd is with you? You go to
00:40:10
that other level, right? >> Oh my god. when I have when the crowd is with me
00:40:16
sometimes when the crowd's not with me I'm like do I even have skills be like
00:40:21
can I even can I even perform to a slightly indifferent audience like I should be able to do this like I should
00:40:27
be able to still do the 90 minutes >> but if they're not like if you don't
00:40:32
feel like they're you know carrying your chair in the >> um at the Jewish wedding like you know
00:40:39
if you don't feel that like bounce I'll suddenly be like, "How the hell do
00:40:43
I do this? What do I give it? Like, >> what am I doing? I'm giving a speech."
00:40:48
>> Well, you think like you're horrible. You're like, "Am I doing standup?"
00:40:51
Because nothing's working. It's almost like, "Did this turn into a corporate
00:40:54
gig? Why am I bothering?" >> Yeah. Did this turn into a corporate gig? And then I always want to ask the
00:40:58
audience I want to be like, "Hey, are you embarrassed for me? Is that happening? Is that happening now, too?
00:41:05
>> Are you feel the discomfort in the room?" And then the elephant in the room
00:41:09
that no one is saying and you can't hear it is is like this realization on their
00:41:13
side. Not as good as I thought he would be. I guess it's this is kind of a rough
00:41:19
night. And then sometimes it takes a lot of guts and a lot of determination to go
00:41:24
[ __ ] it. And you try to win them and you normally can't but you just really the
00:41:29
last >> sickening. Yeah. 15 minutes. >> Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, but I think
00:41:32
that's a that is the right move. I remember when Nick Croll and I were doing Oh Hello on Broadway, our
00:41:38
director, Alex Timbers, said to us, because >> doing um eight shows a week
00:41:44
>> for 16, 18 weeks, whatever it was, >> brutal. >> Well, we'd have crowds that were just
00:41:50
Broadway ticket holders who heard, "Oh, there's a comedy." And didn't know it
00:41:53
was me and Nick screaming in turtlenecks and being insane. And uh Alex Timbers said to us, "Hey, um I noticed that some
00:42:04
nights when the crowds aren't great, you guys decide to pull way back and just
00:42:09
amuse each other and you do the show poorly." And we were like, "Yeah, cuz
00:42:13
[ __ ] them, right?" >> It's only $300 a >> I remember. I remember he goes, "Here's
00:42:18
an idea. When they're not good, you guys try to be twice as good." And we were
00:42:25
like, "Oh." as if it was like another way to show them we don't care. But it
00:42:29
was a good trick he >> put in our heads because now when it's bad, I think, well, I'm going to pretend
00:42:36
this is on film. >> Sure. >> And people will study it. Uh in terms of how how good you can be even
00:42:44
when a crowd is bad, >> I think people, you know, when you're not doing well and people later say,
00:42:49
"No, it was good." There are some people that smile and the vibe of the crowd
00:42:52
isn't to be too noisy. So they don't want to be too loud. So they're just
00:42:56
kind of liking it and smiling and they don't know it's a bad show. And later
00:42:59
they go, >> "Oh, they don't. >> I thought it was great." And you're
00:43:02
like, and you're telling them how bad it was, and they're like, "No, it wasn't
00:43:05
that bad." >> Yeah. And you go like, "That part that part normally gets that part normally
00:43:11
goes to applause." And normally >> normally Yeah. >> They're like, "That was my favorite
00:43:17
part." And I'm like, "A lot of times there's someone in the front row that
00:43:20
looks like my dad." So I go, "Oh, there he is now." And Evan, that normally goes
00:43:24
to applause, but that didn't happen tonight. >> And they're like, "Oh, so it was bad."
00:43:28
You know, >> what is it about be when we were when I was coming up, like Steve Martin was
00:43:33
God, he was huge, and he would play stadiums or arenas, and now there's so many comedians, I'll bring it back
00:43:39
around to you, that just are playing 20,000 seaters. And I don't know when this started for you, but now you're
00:43:45
playing Madison Square Garden for four nights, if I read it right, or three nights.
00:43:49
>> Three nights. Three nights. >> So, what does that do to your brain? How
00:43:52
do you think about yourself? Like cuz that is so much love of your fans. I mean, it's just like insane, right? How
00:44:00
do you wrap your mind around that? >> One should not get used to it. Um I just
00:44:06
keep thinking that like it's pretty it's pretty funny, man. It's pretty
00:44:14
>> Yeah, it's just a big room. It's a big room. >> Well, it's it's so I mean, I just want
00:44:19
to give you a compliment. It's so hard to get to those big venues. And I was
00:44:22
looking, you're on a tour right now, and if you look at the venues, I'm like,
00:44:25
"Holy [ __ ] this guy is hitting the biggest spots." And Hollywood Bowl is
00:44:29
huge. Who would ever get to play that as a standup? You don't even think of that
00:44:32
when you're standing. >> Yeah, he's playing Northern California. There's a stadium in the Sierra Neadas,
00:44:37
and it's an open air thing. And John is >> playing Yellowstone. >> He's playing,
00:44:43
>> but what what do you do with >> like when you go out? It feels um it's
00:44:49
like it's it's um it's a kind of I wouldn't say okay um I wouldn't say it's impostor syndrome
00:45:00
which might sound really arrogant. I don't mean like I I'm up there and I'm
00:45:03
like yeah I belong here but I do recognize that the crowds have grown and grown and now we're in a now we're in a
00:45:10
basketball court >> and that's home base. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, there's sort of a like,
00:45:18
okay, this is where it's at now. Um, and I'm so l There's a few things happening
00:45:24
at once. It's only been this year that I've played arenas. It's the first tour
00:45:28
I've had since a couple trips to rehab institutions. So, >> what what what what do you mean rehab? I
00:45:35
haven't heard this story. What's >> Well, listen, no one knows about this.
00:45:39
Well, that that I want to ask you only about that how it pertains to your standup just because
00:45:44
>> Well, it pertains to like um I think if I um Oh, man. Thank god cocaine and arenas
00:45:52
didn't overlap. Oh, dear God. I'm just realizing now that would have been a
00:45:56
disaster. There is something extremely fun. There's an energy about playing an
00:46:01
arena that's very like holy [ __ ] If ever a person took this for granted, they might become rather intolerable. Uh
00:46:12
that's what I think. And so I'm really lucky to do it. I know it won't it will
00:46:17
it will just it it can't sustain. It won't be this forever. So at the moment
00:46:21
I'm just kind of like enjoy it because >> this is literally >> you know like this won't this won't last
00:46:28
and that's okay. Um, so I wouldn't say it's imposttor syndrome so much as I'm
00:46:33
acutely aware that this is just a moment in time. >> Well, did you think uh John right uh did
00:46:43
you think I'm doing David now? Uh so you know you have those specials that explode on Netflix and then you do the
00:46:50
five hosting and and then there's the pandemic and then you have this rehab issue. Did you ever think that that
00:46:56
would >> I had didn't have an issue with rehab. It was more drugs. >> Oh. Oh, okay. So, the led to the rehab,
00:47:03
but >> yeah, rehabs were quite healthy. >> It feels to me like there was a your fan
00:47:08
base just saw you more human and it it it there do you feel a bigger connection in a way? Maybe it's like a Oprah
00:47:15
question or something, but with your fans after >> I'm really um >> Yeah, I
00:47:22
>> because they're your friend, you know what I they relate and everybody's got
00:47:26
>> I can't like there's no I'll just be kind of sappy for a second. I
00:47:31
>> we love that here. >> It means like I didn't know if I'd be on
00:47:36
a stage again. Like I didn't know what um I was at a point where it wasn't just
00:47:42
that like today was miserable. It was that I could absolutely guarantee you tomorrow was miserable. So to be doing
00:47:51
shows and to um you know look I it's uh I'm aware that uh someone's persona
00:48:07
and you know I'm aware that it might have thrown I'm aware that it was a new
00:48:14
information to people. I've been I've been upfront that I'd used drugs in the
00:48:18
past, but I I understand it was new information to people. I I'm I think I'm
00:48:23
humble enough to know that like, you know, fans can s, you know, I'm very grateful people come to the shows. Like,
00:48:33
>> yeah, >> it's not that I think that that, you know, revelation about me would make
00:48:38
people not come. I don't mean mean that. I just mean that. I I also like I want
00:48:42
to be a realist about entertainment and um to to maybe have one kind of image and then have it be made clear I was
00:48:51
dealing with a lot more stuff >> and then have people still come that uh sort of I feel very lucky to physically
00:49:00
be there on stage and I feel it is so nice. I feel >> John if you don't mind talking about it
00:49:07
like when do when you said you made maybe didn't think you'd ever do it again was that your what what kind of
00:49:13
bottom was that? I mean did were you seriously thinking I may never become do standup anymore?
00:49:20
>> It was like >> you don't have to answer this. It was kind of it was it was almost like being
00:49:26
in it was like kind of like >> um that's a good question exactly how to
00:49:34
articulate it was a bit like a horror movie where I was like how did I like um I don't trust this sounds this sounds a
00:49:46
little dark but it is it's not a super happy topic so that's fine. Um, I was
00:49:53
sort of like, I don't trust being alone with me. I mean, I'm the person that did
00:50:00
all this damage to myself. You're with when you're a drug addict, you're with
00:50:03
the person that has tried to destroy you all the time. So, I just didn't have a
00:50:10
sense of I was like, uh, wow. I don't know if the person in charge of this life
00:50:20
has any clue what they're doing. It wasn't so much, oh, I can't do standup
00:50:25
without drugs. Cuz I wasn't I didn't use and do standup. That wasn't really what
00:50:28
was happening. Um it was more like I might have absolutely no idea how to manage my life.
00:50:36
>> Yeah. >> Because it was the second episode was maybe harder in a way, the relapse.
00:50:41
>> Yeah. I'd had a lot of problems when I was in my early 20s and I'd stopped by
00:50:46
um age 23 and had a long bout of sobriety but um yeah through prescription drugs and
00:50:54
other things started to slip and then slipped hard. >> And do you think that you're you're it's
00:51:01
a genetic predisposition like the way your brain is situated and the way the drugs hit your brain? Can you specify
00:51:07
why it appealed to you at that level? Or because it seems like addicts sometimes
00:51:11
have they can be hyper sensitive or redundant thinkers or whatever kind of mental health predis would predispose
00:51:19
them to want. >> So yeah, it's a good question cuz like I I do love life. Like I have a lot of
00:51:28
fun. I always I always have laughed very hard multiple times a week with like really funny friends and like
00:51:36
>> I I'm lucky to be in this life as a comedian where >> it's pretty fun. Uh I have my own I have
00:51:45
my own demons, but um it's pretty it's pretty [ __ ] fun. I wouldn't trade it
00:51:50
for anything. So I was also like I I had a very I have wonderful parents. I I I had a lot of green lights. It's it's
00:51:59
hard to say um that I had some uh inclination to uh to uh to mess up my life. I a couple
00:52:12
things in my case. I think I've had a lot of anxiety in life. So, some of the
00:52:18
um chemicals that help that I certainly are very addictive. And then I think I I think um I mean I do think
00:52:29
addiction is a disease and I think I have this, you know, oh, let's do more.
00:52:34
Oh, let's do more. I mean, there's something in my brain that uh does that.
00:52:38
It wasn't always um you know, it it wasn't uh it wasn't a story of someone who uh was
00:52:51
always going to self-destruct. the life just life just became hard >> and and now you're out the other side
00:52:58
and you're have a have a a son, you know, so it's such a >> Yeah. So then so then Yeah.
00:53:04
>> Yeah. So So then that's like okay that's real grownup stuff, right?
00:53:10
>> When I heard you had >> It's the greatest. >> It is. >> When you're in rehab, I was like I don't
00:53:14
think so. That guy wears a suit on stage. >> Yeah. People in I mean it's been proven
00:53:19
people in ties don't have those. I mean, it threw me. And did did we have dinner at Koi one
00:53:26
night? Was it me, you, Dana, and hater? Was it? And Jud. >> And Jud. Yep. Mhm.
00:53:30
>> Yeah. That's like one of the few times we've gotten to even That was a fun
00:53:33
night. We took a picture. >> Yeah, we did take a picture. You guys came and did my Largo show.
00:53:38
>> Yeah, it was great. >> Uh uh Dana, you and Bill read. >> Yeah. Sketches.
00:53:47
>> Oh, that's right. >> Yeah. A sketch that I wrote. um with Bill
00:53:52
>> when Dana hosted >> the same the same hosting stint when we >> uh bombarded you with Mickey Rooney
00:54:01
request >> but I I I was regrettable at the time the only thing about Mickey Rooney was
00:54:06
the first time I had some prosthetics that created the illusion >> and and it helped me too doing Mickey
00:54:14
Rooney and then that time whatever quick change for whatever reason it kind of looked like me and it just didn't you
00:54:20
know and then Casey Kasem bombed but >> did you have little >> um the first time you did I did the
00:54:27
first time? >> Yeah, >> for some reason something it the look wasn't the same and then Casey it wasn't
00:54:32
my best hosting effort but uh I love >> I think I'm in large part I'm in large
00:54:37
part to blame for that if uh >> wedding was bad that week. Now that I remember that you remember that the
00:54:45
Mickey Rooney and Casey Kasem that we begged you to do. >> We're not at the moment. Uh
00:54:53
>> but I love the passion how much you guys loved it and Casey Kasem killed a 300
00:54:58
seat theater. Bill and I read it again in front of you. We explained it a little better. It just it's sketch 101.
00:55:05
They just didn't hook it. It was over in the corner and once the audience >> too big of a set too. It too big of a
00:55:11
set. I >> giant set. They didn't want >> I always want I always want sketches
00:55:15
like that to just look like a Garfield cartoon like I like a a single square animation cell like you just
00:55:22
>> it was massive. Yeah. >> And it was a massive backyard. The sketch was Casey Kasem and his son JC
00:55:30
Kasem >> JC >> are having a fight and they both talk like Casey Kasem and uh
00:55:40
>> you know it was like son I know you've son I know you've been borrowing money
00:55:44
to buy crystal meth and how do you know that dad here's a like it was it was
00:55:49
that it was just them both there was a letter >> son I know that you've been borrowing
00:55:53
money to buy crystal meth And here is a letter. >> It's that classic Casey case for people
00:55:59
who have ever heard of rhythm. And then you know checking in at number five, the
00:56:03
boss. >> My favorite line was, "Well, Dad, you were alwaysounding me with questions.
00:56:08
When are you going to stop hanging out with those dead beats? When are you going to do something to get your life?"
00:56:13
And which female vocalist had more number one hits than any other? >> And then Dana says, "The answer, Mariah
00:56:19
Carey." Shimmer. >> So why do you think for young people listening, >> why would that bomb? Well, I thought it
00:56:25
was because >> too big of a set. We've already explained it wasn't the right it wasn't
00:56:28
the performance. >> I was washing my car, John. >> It was a quiet They're kind of quiet
00:56:33
voices. They don't really project that much. And I think if you're in the
00:56:36
audience and a camera's going by or they're re leading a horse across the
00:56:39
studio, they don't hit hook at the first >> leading a horse across, you know, just
00:56:43
noise distractions. >> If it was cold opening in the center with a simple >> You weren't home base where you one of
00:56:50
those secret sets. D used to go never be in the [ __ ] dead zone over there. >> I would go I would go where they they
00:56:56
were writing up the planning where the sketches would be. >> You'd go tell her to put your
00:57:01
>> Why is my sketch not there? Yeah. Go ahead. >> Yeah. I remember watching I think it was
00:57:05
at Wayne's World. I was talking to Steve Higgins and I was like it why is this I
00:57:10
mean besides the fact that it was so popular I was like what is the why is does this feel like they're just yelling
00:57:17
directly at an adoring audience? And he was like, cuz those were at home base, like everything everything
00:57:23
that seems like why is this like right in the lens right down the barrel right to the audience? So then all of us would
00:57:29
go up to Don Roy King during the production meeting Wednesday night. All the writers would go like, we think this
00:57:36
could play at home base. >> We think it could play at home. I remember one time he had cuz they write
00:57:41
in they basically they pencil in everything that will go in one section and there were like six sketches that
00:57:48
were trying to play at home base. >> Well, they would say to me, "Well, you
00:57:51
can't have it at home base because you have an entrance." And I go, "What if I
00:57:55
get rid of the entrance?" And they go, "Well, then you can have it at home
00:57:57
base." >> Oh, wow. What a scandal. >> Then I go to Victoria Jackson and go,
00:58:01
"You got to just be in the set the whole time." I was gonna I don't know how much
00:58:04
longer we have, but I was going to just ask you your latest thoughts about your son and how old is he because I I don't
00:58:10
follow. >> Okay. Um my son Malcolm is 6 months old. >> Okay. So, you're you and um your
00:58:17
significant Olivia are racing for that first smile in the morning when he's in
00:58:21
his crib >> and he racing for that first what did you say? >> First smile. The first smile. He's
00:58:26
smiling now, right? It's >> the first smile. I thought you said the first smile.
00:58:29
>> I'm a little bit drunk. No, but anyway. No, we that's very funny you mentioned
00:58:33
that. We both love to wake him up together and he he'll be kind of like what I love about Malcolm one, he's my
00:58:42
son. That's so that's what I love about >> That's good. It's good you love it.
00:58:45
That's good as your son. >> No, but but also um he's so independent.
00:58:49
Like I listen to him on the on the Miku on the baby monitor and he's just babbling to himself like as he's trying
00:58:57
to fall asleep. He's just talking like He kind of sounds like Jiminy Glick like
00:59:03
he's like or Adam Sandler like Adam >> Yeah, there's a lot of low register LIKE
00:59:16
>> he's doing characters. >> He's doing character work. And also, I
00:59:20
think he enjoys the reverberation of his voice in this uh >> when he he was sleeping in this pack and
00:59:26
play the other night and >> I was like, you really just >> pack and play.
00:59:30
>> You love your you love the sound um that it's making in in your little crib
00:59:34
there. So, we love to come in and he's just I don't know. He's so independent.
00:59:38
He's just chatting with his like stuffed elephant in the crib with him. Well,
00:59:43
that moment where they wake up and they're >> then we then So, right now when we're
00:59:48
traveling Yeah. And he sees >> we have a pack and play. So, we unzip top of it this cover and he he's sitting
00:59:54
on there and goes like flashes big face goes >> and that pack and play is like a duffel
01:00:00
bag you carry him in or something. >> Well, it does kind of fold up into what
01:00:05
looks like those bags they carry machine guns in. >> Yeah. It's like a It's a long black bag
01:00:12
that becomes a crib >> because at the beginning it's just a shoe box you have to carry them in and
01:00:16
then as they get older. I don't know how it works. >> Yeah. When a baby's born they tell you
01:00:19
to put it in a shoe box with shredded newspapers >> and you got to keep them stimulated.
01:00:24
There's a lot of focus on kids. It even started when I was >> Oh, more now. My god. You must be
01:00:29
getting a while and keep them mentally stimulated. You'll make a genius. You
01:00:32
feed them this way. It's like >> Yeah. God damn. A lot of everyone's got
01:00:35
an opinion. >> Yeah. He um uh he likes songs by he likes songs that the Wrecking Crew
01:00:44
worked on >> the the famous studio musicians. >> He kind of likes like um there's
01:00:49
something about that. >> Yeah. The Righteous Brothers and those Phil Spector Wall of Sound. I think
01:00:55
there's something sonically to a baby, you know? Like I've always said, babies
01:00:58
love Phil Spectre. >> Well, the baby when he's three, if he picks up a rock, people will go, he's
01:01:02
going to be an archaeologist. I mean, everyone's gonna want to project. I think he's funny like you. You know,
01:01:09
I've seen it. Anyway, >> there's nothing like Instagram when they say in Instagram they're always there's
01:01:15
always someone in trouble for doing something wrong with their kids and then everyone writes in a million comments.
01:01:20
You should not do that. It's like no one Why do you give a [ __ ] about my kid?
01:01:23
Like, oh yeah, are you going to come babysit? >> I've always wanted to put as a caption,
01:01:27
if anyone has any parenting thoughts, please please leave them in the comments. Yeah, please.
01:01:34
>> I'm about to give my I'm about to give my six-month-old uh a bunch of pork
01:01:38
sausage and dairy. If anyone has any thoughts, >> what's a good toaster I should put in
01:01:45
the tub with him? >> Yeah. Uh but John, I would say we have to let you go, but first of all, great
01:01:52
chatting. I saw you at Largo. I saw Olivia uh the other night. It was a lot of fun to see you.
01:01:57
>> You were hilarious. It was great to see you. You were David. We were talking for
01:02:00
a while that just just you backstage talking about trying to sell your house was the funniest 5 minutes.
01:02:08
>> Thank you. >> I've heard in so long. >> You know, it's funny. My special just
01:02:11
came out. I was You guys were talking about specials and it came out on it came out on the dirt.com, right? On the
01:02:17
real estate website. >> That's where my special came out, which was so stupid.
01:02:21
>> It was released on dirt.com, >> but everyone knows about your house.
01:02:27
>> Special, David. Let's do some housekeeping. >> Oh, it's called Nothing Personal
01:02:30
Personal. I wanted to say to to John that and Danny, you might feel this when you get to bigger. I don't tour as much.
01:02:39
>> I actually this first time I was sort of doing some theaters and they're not as
01:02:42
big as yours, but even if it's 2 3,000 seats, I sometimes feel like I'm not
01:02:47
enough. It's almost like more pressure to go. I can picture a band here like
01:02:51
whailing away to fill this big energy. So much more energy than a club. and people are paying more and and it's a
01:02:58
big deal. There's a line outside and you go, I'm just here talking a little bit.
01:03:01
It feels like it's not enough for them. And I had a weird thing about that where
01:03:05
I go, I want to be extra good or do a little something more razledazzle. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, that's why I
01:03:13
really like uh I mean, I remember hearing I remember hearing an interview with Chris Rock when Bring the Pain came
01:03:22
out about how why he paces so much. She's like, I got to fill the stage. And
01:03:26
I've I've never forgotten that. I mean, I like I like a lot of mic cord and a
01:03:31
lot of walking. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I I've never saw I always think
01:03:36
that. I'm like, this is just me. >> This is like a random person talking
01:03:40
about, >> right, >> very specific topics. What is this? >> Quietly listening. Yeah.
01:03:47
>> Yeah. Maybe I'll just >> I and mine they they I they I got off
01:03:50
stage talk about having a tough set like my first taping you know mo most comics
01:03:55
for your listeners pick a place and they do two shows in one night mostly. Yeah,
01:04:01
>> Adam Adam got to do a little more, but uh you know, you do that, then you pick
01:04:05
the best out of the two, whatever. And I got off stage, my opener wasn't doing as
01:04:10
well as he usually does. And I'm like, oh, please don't be a [ __ ] tough
01:04:13
crowd, >> you know? And then I get on it and and they were tough for the first five. And
01:04:18
I'm like, these people are coming to see me and they're my fans and this is
01:04:22
tough. And I get off and I go, [ __ ] well, the second one will be a little better. And they go, you know, they have
01:04:27
N95s on. I go, no they don't. And no one told me they had those masks on that
01:04:32
weren't >> didn't know they were all all in the N95s. >> I didn't even think because we moved it
01:04:39
there because it was during CO and they go you do get a crowd they might have to
01:04:42
wear mask but I think of the blue ones but I heard they walked in everyone had to take theirs off and they were given
01:04:48
the worst kind of like drywall mask. >> What state was this in? >> It was in it was Minnesota and I have to
01:04:55
say they were a good crowd. It just when 50% of it's gone and you can't hear it
01:05:01
as because they're they even look like a good crowd. They're moving. They're
01:05:04
bending, overlapping, overlapping. And I'm like, and you know, I just see the
01:05:07
front rows, but I go, "Oh, what's going on?" Cuz it's so bright. When I taped,
01:05:11
>> I couldn't really see what I can waited six weeks to do it when they didn't have
01:05:16
to have the mask. >> Well, it wasn't to to bore the [ __ ] out of you. It was in Austin
01:05:20
>> and because Netflix there's some rules you have to >> for COVID blah blah. and Austin said,
01:05:25
"No, we won't abide by it." So, I had either wait 6 months or the next weekend
01:05:30
I was doing. >> Well, when you guys go out now, they're not wearing masks or right.
01:05:34
>> No, there's still there's still a couple. But, >> I think it's I think it's dealer's
01:05:38
choice. I think you >> Yeah, cuz I see people with them, but those are for a while there was show
01:05:44
your vax card >> or um if you don't have it, you get sorry, if you showed your vax card, you
01:05:52
got a wristband. If you didn't have a wristband, you had to have the mask on.
01:05:56
There's been, but crowds have been really understanding about it, which is nice.
01:05:59
>> At least they're still coming, which is nice. And that that's that's
01:06:02
>> whenever there's a surge, too. Whenever there's a surge on tour, it's sort of
01:06:07
like, okay, you know, some stuff might get cancelled and like what's whatever
01:06:10
is best for the health and safety of the crowd is the best choice. But I'll sometimes look at the map and my
01:06:16
calendar and be like, well, I got luckily luckily like my Florida and Arizona won't be cancelled.
01:06:22
>> Yeah. states where you're like they're >> they're never going to cancel.
01:06:26
>> They're never going to cancel. Yeah. >> Well, they say some people for a while
01:06:30
there during uh when there's a last surge, they go just expect about 20 to 30% don't show. They buy the tickets,
01:06:36
it's sold out, but they don't come and you go, "Oh, cuz they get scared." So,
01:06:40
it's sort of a bummer because you want the people whoever gets ticket to come.
01:06:44
Sometimes it's tricky. You know, >> I found that um like people in Los
01:06:50
Angeles have been more careful than anyone else I I know. Like I I was in New York for a lot of the early
01:06:56
pandemic. >> People were obviously extremely sheltering in place then. However, there
01:07:01
still was a bit more of a a sometimes a bit of a cavalier attitude like look, we
01:07:06
we're going to go out, we're going to try to do this. LA seemed more locked
01:07:11
down for longer. But >> yeah, >> then this Netflix is a joke festival
01:07:14
came and like everyone I knew who used to lecture >> about like spray down your groceries
01:07:20
with, you know, like all those people are suddenly >> like at a huge brunch with Kevin Hart,
01:07:27
you know, everyone everyone went out. Everyone went out. >> Yeah. >> Well, John, uh, thank you. And you know,
01:07:41
I always thought you'd make a good D. Wouldn't he make a good talk show host?
01:07:44
Great monologue. >> If he ever wants to articulate a good gig going, I mean, as as Malcolm gets
01:07:50
older, you you'll be financially so secure, you'll be able to pick your dates and and and pick how you want to
01:07:56
work. You know, I go now. It's you're he won't miss you now, but you're going to
01:08:01
want to be around when he's, you know, seven and 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Those are
01:08:05
the those my friend Dan Levy and I um a wonderful comedian and a good friend of mine Dan
01:08:12
Levy and I talk often Dana about how uh you know how you specifically uh we were like that might be the best
01:08:22
life ever to um name a corporate rate that is so high but have so many people meet it and you can edit this out if
01:08:31
you're uncomfortable. Sorry. >> No, not at all. when you just kept doing
01:08:34
I was like man what an amazing we talked so greedily about like man >> to hear describe all those corporates
01:08:43
>> I truly wanted to get out I wanted to get out of them they kept saying yes I
01:08:48
kept going up and up and up and hoping I'd get out of them but it was very >> I know it's the it's the greatest
01:08:53
problem I've ever heard anyone having >> and were so envious of it >> well it's a nice adaptive way when the
01:09:01
kids are in you were You were off SNL. You were living in Northern California >> and you were naming the highest rates
01:09:08
possible. >> Yes, it was a it was it was very very good. I I was get I was hiding in plain
01:09:14
sight, making more money than maybe almost anyone but like big movie stars, but no one knew, so they just figured I
01:09:20
was broke. So that was good. But it's it's a pretty good schedule for a dad
01:09:25
because you could take two months at Christmas, take summers off and have your just adapt your schedule to when
01:09:31
you want to be with them. So anyway, >> it is great. >> Are you guys on the Are you guys going
01:09:36
out on Are you guys on the road now, too? >> David is. I'm I'm doing a scripted
01:09:41
podcast finishing up, which is hard. It's like making the White Album. It really has taken a year to do it with my
01:09:47
two sons. >> Oh, right. Right. Yeah, I've heard on this I've heard on this podcast.
01:09:52
>> Yeah. So, I'm working on that, but I'm kind of itching to do stand up again. I
01:09:55
don't know what I would say or what I would do though at this age, you know,
01:09:59
cuz it's like you don't want to be boring. That's that's the worst sin of a
01:10:03
stand up. I think >> it's hard. >> Boring. >> You don't want to be cancelceled, but
01:10:06
you don't want to be >> You don't want to be cancelled. You want to be honest. You want to be real. You
01:10:09
want to be funny. But for me, doing small clubs with my sons, I I figured out for me personally, being a sketch
01:10:15
player at heart, it I was so much better in small rooms. I mean, because I'm
01:10:21
doing these little intricate little characters and stuff. So, I love small rooms, but big rooms play different. You
01:10:27
know, if they have screens, it's very nice. I'm sure Madison Square Garden,
01:10:30
you're going to have big screens >> of Yeah. >> There's there's sort of these like
01:10:34
portrait length screens. They really do. I was very when this tour started, I was
01:10:40
like, "Okay, this is gonna be cool, but is this gonna just be like yelling in a
01:10:45
hockey arena?" And everyone's like, "What?" But um >> I got to see the faces and stuff.
01:10:49
>> Yeah. The production the production and my tour manager, Beth, um like it's been
01:10:55
it's been made into a really good show, I think. >> Yeah. He's like, I have Kid Rock's
01:10:59
trucker guy that runs the 18-wheeler with all my stuff. >> My favorite thing about touring arenas
01:11:03
is that is like talking to bus drivers. Uh, >> who they just had here? >> Yeah. Who were you just with like, well,
01:11:12
Rob, Robert Plant, Robert Plant, Steve Harvey, then you. And I'm like, I love
01:11:17
it. I love that. Have you ever gotten right before you went on dinged like that from some well-meaning crew guy?
01:11:24
Last week, Sinbad came in here. I got to tell you, he took every local reference.
01:11:29
He destroyed now Dana Fluro. I mean, do you ever get dinged like that where it's
01:11:33
like Chris Rock levitated this arena? >> I don't think I don't think he was
01:11:36
trying to ding me, but I still >> No, not intentional. >> No, no, but uh No, Brian Dorfman, a
01:11:42
Booker um a promoter. Excuse me, Brian. I apologize. You're a producer and a
01:11:48
promoter and whatever other things you do. But I was in I was backstage at Nashville Zies
01:11:54
and uh we're standing there and I'm really about to walk out and he just goes I
01:12:02
remember promoting Paulie Shore and when the door opened and the shadow of his profile hit the stage. I've never
01:12:13
heard a crowd go crazier for it's like as I'm about to walk out. Never heard a
01:12:17
crowd go crazier for someone. And it was the greatest standup show I'd ever seen.
01:12:22
>> I know. They go on and on, don't they? >> It was. >> No one has ever done anything like this.
01:12:27
But you'll do fine. You Yeah. >> Then he pauses and go, "Hey, got any new
01:12:30
stuff?" >> I remember um someone else uh at Zy's Nashville. I was like
01:12:39
at that same weekend, I was like, "Who are your favorite comics?" Um and uh
01:12:46
this woman Ruth Anne who uh was managing the club. Um I go, "Who are your favorite comics?" You know, and like a
01:12:54
lot of people, this was like 2004, 2000, you know, people would go like, "Oh, Adele Hedber," you know, people
01:12:59
just list the same names. >> And she goes, "Okay, here we go." >> I was like, "Uhhuh." Uh
01:13:08
>> oh. And I and I can't remember exactly the three, but the first was Tony Rock.
01:13:13
>> She goes, "Tony Rock." I go, "Okay." >> She goes, "Funnier than Chris." I go,
01:13:17
>> "Okay, >> okay. >> Okay. >> Uhhuh." Um, she goes, "Funnier than
01:13:22
Chris." >> Uh, Chick McGee, I think, maybe it was a But the last one was Killer Bees, who's a
01:13:31
>> Killer Bees. Wow. Killer Bees is a road is a is a >> is an American comedian not known to
01:13:36
everyone, but she goes, "Killer Bees is the best comic >> I've ever funnier than Chris.
01:13:41
>> You know, you need new material. You know, you need new material when they
01:13:44
someone says to you, no matter how many times I hear your stuff, I I still laugh. You know, you know, you need a
01:13:50
new >> Yeah. Yeah. I uh I the the the sound guys, the the lighting uh technicians,
01:13:57
everyone I'm on this tour with is amazing and they are very sweet about it, but they're like, "We as we're
01:14:04
setting up, we just recite your jokes." And I was like, "Man, that's such a
01:14:09
compliment, but it makes me feel like, so you're saying I don't have enough new
01:14:13
stuff." >> Yeah. >> All right, John, get out of here. I like that. I like that you guys are acting
01:14:19
like I have somewhere to be, but I don't. >> I keep >> I keep making the interview longer.
01:14:27
>> I >> know. But it is fun because people like to hear from you. >> Oh, one little SNL memory I have of just
01:14:32
how big and inescapable the show felt was I was hired August 7th, 2008. And then we have the commercial writing
01:14:42
weeks. Um, we start we start pre-production for the show. Not pre-production, we start uh everyone's
01:14:50
kind of back and we're going to shoot commercial parodies. Um, then we have the first show week and the first show
01:14:57
that I was ever a part of, Michael Phelps hosted and it was the first time Tina Fay did Sarah Palin.
01:15:03
>> So, all right. >> Whoa. that fall. >> SNL is like back kind of like to being when you guys
01:15:13
were on like it felt like >> felt like the 92 election again. Um >> it was like
01:15:19
>> huge and it was on every magazine cover and Seth and Amy are on every magazine
01:15:24
cover and Tina's on every magazine cover. >> It was so big and we did these Thursday
01:15:28
prime time update shows. So, we did 12 we total we did 12 shows in eight weeks and I just remember I was sitting in a
01:15:38
taxi cab going home and my eye was all infected from from being awake so long and uh a bus pulls up next to me and
01:15:48
it's a gap ad with Forte Sudakus >> Andy Seth and Fred. Yeah. like they did
01:15:56
like a winter clothes like scarves and hats, but I just remember being like I can't [ __ ] escape this show and still
01:16:03
haven't. >> You never It's a seminal moment in your life being in Rockefeller Center doing
01:16:09
that thing with all the characters. >> Well, yeah. It's like saying, "Hey, I
01:16:12
used to play for the Yankees. Um, now I have a sports marketing company. Which would you rather talk about?"
01:16:22
>> Yeah, that's true. There's nothing experientially or tactically like that
01:16:26
show. It's tactical. >> People always have a question about it. Something about it.
01:16:29
>> That's why we're doing the podcast and to hang out with people like
01:16:33
>> Yeah, you. >> I love the podcast. I've listened to every episode. I was very flattered to
01:16:37
be asking. >> You must have a lot of free time or that's when you're on the bus or the
01:16:41
plane or you know >> lot of driving and uh a lot of driving. Lot of bus. Yeah.
01:16:46
>> He's used to that we talk over each other. Dana >> John. Yeah. You Well, we have Well,
01:16:50
yeah. Smartless has three guys. Did you like doing the live one with Sandler? >> Yeah.
01:16:56
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was um it >> I should have filmed it. It's [ __ ]
01:16:59
great. It was so fun. >> Different sport, but uh >> different sport, but it's a I'm Whenever
01:17:05
there's a live episode of a podcast I love, I'm like, this is like >> no one's uh
01:17:11
>> everyone's bringing out the big guns on this. >> Oh, yeah. >> Well, yeah. you just you tend to perform
01:17:16
a little more. But yeah, I just I if I put myself in the shoes of the I'm there
01:17:20
with Adam Sandler and David Spade, so there's a sense of like I'd like to just
01:17:26
hear what Adam Sandler had for breakfast, you know? Uh they want to they want to know he's a person. The one
01:17:31
thing we haven't done with you, we don't have to because I always like to put
01:17:35
think of 10-year-old John Melany because I like that favorite toy as a kid or a toy that you remember that you really
01:17:43
was important to you or you liked. >> Oh, that's a good question. Um, >> cocaine.
01:17:52
>> Uh, yeah, but little bags of cocaine and rolled up dollar bills. >> David had Stretch Armstrong, didn't you
01:17:57
think? and evil. Can you sh Armstrong was a [ __ ] scam. >> I liked anything I liked anything um
01:18:05
with Ernie. I kind of with Ernie from Burton Ernie. I sort of realized later in life that Ernie was like
01:18:13
>> I thought Ernie was so funny. Ernie is really funny. He doesn't give a [ __ ] and
01:18:17
his roommate's uptight. >> Yeah. Which one's gay? Bird or Oh, I think Bird is.
01:18:22
>> The rumor was that they were both gay. >> Oh, I guess that's how it would work.
01:18:26
>> Okay. Did you have a bike that was special to you like in fourth, fifth,
01:18:30
sixth grade? >> I had a bike which growing up in Chicago like it's an easy city to bike around
01:18:35
and that that was like >> Mhm. >> we already had a lot of freedom like we
01:18:40
were a little feral. >> Um I just walked around the city of Chicago as a like 10 nyear-old. Like we
01:18:47
really could just go. I remember having a bike and riding it along um the lake from my home to like the middle of
01:18:55
downtown Chicago and I was like this is so much freedom. It's crazy. >> It won't be like that with your kid.
01:19:02
Huh. >> No, I mean that's an interesting it's an interesting thing cuz Olivia
01:19:10
we want it to be but then we obviously I'm like do I have the stomach for just
01:19:15
being like all right see you. Do you have the Instagram followers? Can you handle what they're going to say about
01:19:20
that? >> Yeah. Hey, leaving Malcolm alone on Michigan Avenue. >> Yeah, he'll be home by when it gets dark
01:19:28
like I did. Is this a good idea? Arrow to comments >> and you and Sound off below.
01:19:35
>> Sound off. Let me know. >> Do you have ideas of where you would like to settle with the time school
01:19:39
years start or is it just completely wide open? You don't have to mention a town or anything, but do you think uh
01:19:45
it's either Southern California, New York, or out there somewhere? >> Yeah, we're very open to
01:19:52
uh to different places, you know? I mean, I feel like also the me and Olivia and Malcolm have been on the road so
01:19:59
much that we kind of, you know, we're in this place of like home is wherever
01:20:03
we're together, you know? So, >> yeah. Yeah. That they're just so portable now. And you had told me once
01:20:07
that you thought a flying too much might age people. So do you take more buses and cars than I said people?
01:20:16
>> I thought you said that to me always. >> You thought flying too much was
01:20:20
>> sounds a little uh speedy coke dark. >> Oh some go go go juice. >> Flying.
01:20:29
>> We were jamming. We were jamming on the Mickey Rooney sketch when you said that.
01:20:32
So I didn't know you were No, but I thought you said that. But >> you know, I do think that No, there's
01:20:38
something like you know how you feel when you get off a plane and your feet are all swollen and like your stomach's
01:20:42
weird. I was like this is not >> you shouldn't do this constantly >> like like bring a bring a um you know
01:20:50
you bring like a half empty 20 oz bottle of soda on a plane, put it in your backpack and then see what the
01:20:57
pressure's done to it. >> Yeah. >> It's not it's not normal what what what
01:21:02
it does to your body. Hey, I get done with >> I'm at that phase of celebrity now where
01:21:05
I weigh in on health theories. So, I'm going to go out ahead and say that planes
01:21:10
>> no one should be flying. John Mel this we we got our trans week drug addict
01:21:15
John Melany said no drug addict John >> flying is dangerous and not because
01:21:20
you're going to crash but your body >> Neil Brennan said when I got first got
01:21:25
back to doing standup he said you should be introduced Neil Brennan said this he
01:21:29
goes you should be introduced as you know him from TMZ please welcome drug addict John
01:21:34
>> Mane drug addict is funny let's end on that one that's funny >> all right Guys, John, hope we run into
01:21:43
you at some point. Miss you, John. >> Pleasure. Love you. >> See you somewhere. Bye, guys. See you on
01:21:48
campus. >> Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow
01:21:57
on your favorite podcast app. Give us a review, fivestar rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with
01:22:04
a friend. >> If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on
01:22:08
video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Heather
01:22:14
Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg
01:22:21
Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks
01:22:29
to Patrick Fogerty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gainner, Sean
01:22:40
Cherry, Kurt Courtourtney, and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show.
01:22:47
You can email us at fly onthewallsey.com. That's audacy.com.