00:00:00
We're talking about me obsession and how scared I am of it, >> right? >> They said, "You haven't seen it." And I
00:00:07
go, "No." And then the lead girl uh in the movie said, "Oh, are you too
00:00:11
scared?" I said, "Yeah." And the guy goes, "My grandma saw it." And she
00:00:17
only sees like the sheep detective. I go, "Well, that's too scary for me." I
00:00:21
said, "I didn't know the sheep talked. They didn't tell me that. That would
00:00:24
scare the [ __ ] out of me." Oh, weing laugh so hard at that one. If I go down
00:00:29
>> when regulating >> and have to tell someone, hey, could you put your phone away that I the the idea
00:00:35
I have to tell them just during the movie would make me so mad that I couldn't get back into the movie. But
00:00:41
the hat worked. >> Well, could Paula go take care of business? >> It was Paula actually with the It wasn't
00:00:48
>> Oh, she sat sat far away from you. >> Yeah, she likes to be a little closer
00:00:52
and she took some selfies. >> She likes to stare straight up. And the horse and buggy people went
00:00:59
crazy when cars came in. >> We're taking that business. It's bombing.
00:01:04
>> Yeah. I was surprised when I first went to your house. You have a really cool
00:01:07
horse and buggy out front. I go I go, "David, it's 2026." >> I thought they were coming back, but
00:01:13
it's going the other way. >> You're like, "Hey, buddy. >> Hey, buddy.
00:01:24
Check your dog." Yeah, that's about six. >> We got about a six. >> Do you want me to go higher?
00:01:30
Greg, >> Dane is in work mode. He's like six. >> Most of what we do is technical here.
00:01:38
So, Greg, is it okay? >> No comedy. >> Okay. >> Welcome to tech talk.
00:01:45
>> Mhm. >> This is good. We We got through that. >> It's kind of cool. Look at my bars in
00:01:49
the frame now. >> Well, that's kind of cool. I always f fidget with the mic.
00:01:56
Your bar is all right. Looks like a little >> Well, to to say that's kind of cool.
00:02:00
>> It is. Look. >> It's not cool at all. >> Positive. >> It's not cool and it's not uncool. Just
00:02:07
my bars in the frame. Why do you have to put a thing on it like that? >> Who is the guy in track and field?
00:02:12
>> Mhm. >> That rolls over the bar in the high jump. >> That mean the original FL Fosbury. Dick
00:02:18
Fosbury 1968 Olympic gold champion. the first guy to ever go backwards as opposed to straddle with like
00:02:25
>> a lot of them used to straddle like roll over it with >> they would all straddle go up off the
00:02:29
left foot. Yeah. Like crawl over and he just went like this. >> Fbury flop.
00:02:35
>> Fbury flop. >> Thought I was going to >> You know, I thought I would trick you,
00:02:40
but you don't think I know about sports, but I know the New York Knicks are in
00:02:42
the World Series. >> Uh there versus the guy. The greatest nickname for a basketball player in
00:02:49
history is the alien. So Wembley is the uh >> Wembley. >> Wii him too. So he uh
00:03:00
his skill set is so extreme they nicknamed him the alien. >> It's going to be interesting.
00:03:05
>> By the way, when we find out aliens are some people are hybrid people, Wambi is
00:03:10
number one on the list. He looks like the guys that are in the Miami Mall incident.
00:03:17
something some the Miami Mall rumor incident. >> Heather two years later they're like we
00:03:28
have found footage of >> I thought that was I thought that was a great line here. Get this.
00:03:36
>> What did she say? >> Okay, not that much applause. what you said that made Heather laugh so hard.
00:03:46
>> Oh, she just laughs at how what a dunce I am. I can tell. >> She's like, "Can you believe that
00:03:50
[ __ ] shit?" Well, I saw videos of people running. >> What would you be running from other
00:03:56
than aliens? >> What would you be running from? Aliens with guns. >> You're in love with the idea that
00:04:02
there's alien. You are. They're not scared. >> I'm going to Disclosure Day. I got my
00:04:07
tickets and I don't almost want to go cuz I'm so scared. Go where? >> To the movies.
00:04:13
>> Oh. >> To see Spielberg's movie about aliens. >> Oh. Um,
00:04:20
that's going to be nothing. You're going to be scared. >> Well, not like
00:04:24
>> like a little baby. >> Crying like a little baby in the baby crib.
00:04:29
>> In the crib, maybe. Because I'm scared it'll be too real. But I will say and
00:04:34
she talks like one of those praying manis aliens. >> I'm like, nope. Makes me nervous. Yeah,
00:04:41
SCS made me scared. Science was very cool with Mel Gibson and [ __ ] Phoenix. >> Seen it many times. Swing away.
00:04:49
>> Swing away. >> Swing away, man. >> Dude, did you Who could cry harder than
00:04:53
when he saw his wife and the cop walks up to talk to him? Brutal. >> That was uh Shalom Out of My Way.
00:05:01
Whatever that director is. >> Might Shamalama Dingdong in the >> night shamalama dingdong dingadong. You
00:05:06
have to add a two ding ding dong. >> Yeah. Whoever wrote that in a script.
00:05:11
Yeah. There's an auto accident. Half her body's here. Half her body's there.
00:05:15
>> Have her husband say hello before we disconnect her. >> She's sickeningly pinned against a tree
00:05:22
where the car accident. >> Oh. >> And when they pull the car out, >> she will expire.
00:05:29
>> So they're talking to her before they pull the It's so rough, dude. He's a
00:05:33
priest. It's all rough. Anyway, signs walk was great. >> And this one, how about the two
00:05:39
>> biggest movies are obsession. You've never heard of it and I know all back
00:05:43
room nothing. You know nothing. >> Back room. It's about a backroom area
00:05:48
inside of Takaria in North Hollywood and it's called the back room. >> A Takaria. Is that real?
00:05:56
>> Well, I just made that up. If you if you say if you say it's real, it's real. I
00:06:00
mean, >> own your opinions. Don't be afraid to. No more. No more. God damn.
00:06:06
>> Give me mine. We got to fight back. So, >> sorry. >> That's how
00:06:13
>> So, I I was with Dan Levy, this writer guy, right? >> Oh, yeah. >> Not him. Not from Shitzkrie. And this is
00:06:21
his whole life. Unfortunately, he's a great writer, but you have to say Dan Levy. And then everyone goes, "Oh, he's
00:06:29
great." And I go, "I know they're not talking about him." I go, "Oh, it's not
00:06:32
that Dan Levy." I go, "There's a Dan Levy that wrote in the Goldbergs for
00:06:36
seven years." And they go, "Oh, it's him." I go, "It's not him. There's
00:06:39
another one that writes obituaries for the penny saver." No. Um, I said, "It is
00:06:43
the guy from the Goldbergs and he's good writer and a buddy of mine." So, we go
00:06:47
to dinner last night >> and he's obsessed with obsession. He saw the movie.
00:06:52
>> Okay. >> He saw back rooms. >> So, he's literally obsessed with the
00:06:55
title of the movie. >> Yes. And he's got a kid Abe who's like 13 and he wants to make
00:07:00
>> these type of movies, right? Which is almost feasible because they're both
00:07:04
about three million. >> Totally. What else cost about 3 million recently? >> It's coming out on pay-per-view soon.
00:07:16
>> When? What are you waiting for? >> Um >> I'm trying to show
00:07:21
>> We're making deals. Yeah, you guys you guys could >> Oh, behind the scenes shenanigans. All
00:07:26
right, I understand. >> No, we have to do like Apple TV. You have to find places where they
00:07:30
>> I don't think it's an Apple TV. I >> Well, I think it's just somewhere where
00:07:34
you search and go, "Where's this [ __ ] thing?" And then they go, "Oh, it's over
00:07:37
here on this." And you pay >> Unless $100, whatever we decided to $5,000.
00:07:44
>> Well, initially it's like $40. You know, >> it is. >> Well, no, that's when it comes really
00:07:50
fast. Now it's like out of the theaters when it's just barely out of the
00:07:53
theaters. >> Like a week later they go >> 42.95. >> You pay a lot for the experience of
00:07:59
seeing it sooner. Yeah. >> Okay. So Dan Levy, your friend, not Dan Levy, these other writers.
00:08:05
>> Not Dan Levy of >> What was the hot take on that little dinner? What do we get?
00:08:08
>> The hot take was we're talking about >> me obsession and how scared I am of it.
00:08:16
>> Right. He goes, "I think this kid that just walked in, this dude was in
00:08:20
obsession." And I go, "You're really obsessing about this." And then he goes,
00:08:26
"There's another kid." You don't turn around. There's another kid. There's
00:08:29
another one. So, three of the casts come in to eat. Are you kidding me? What's the name of
00:08:36
this restaurant? >> It's called >> Koi. >> No, it was It wasn't Koi for once in my
00:08:42
life. >> Wasn't Koi. >> No. >> Trader. >> No. So yeah, it was Trader Joe's. No, it
00:08:48
was it was So anyway, so he goes, "I got to go over and take a picture." I go,
00:08:53
"No, you know, you can't, but go say hi. I think they're young. They don't give a
00:08:57
[ __ ] Say, >> oh, they would love it if they're brand new. >> I saw the movie with my kid. He loves
00:09:02
it." Blah, blah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So they go and he goes, "Well, you come
00:09:05
over with me." I go, "No, just say my buddy over there was too scared to see
00:09:09
it." So he goes over there, blah blah blah. Points over. I wave over. So then
00:09:14
he comes back. He goes, "They were very nice." He goes, "Go back and say bye
00:09:18
when we leave." I said, "No, you don't need that." >> Well, they were they were like, "Oh,
00:09:23
it's that guy." >> No, it's just Well, I mean, okay, I got you.
00:09:27
>> So, I said, "I'll say hi, whatever." And be and just say, "Good job." So, I went
00:09:31
over, congratulated them all, and they were all very nice and they were all very excited
00:09:36
>> and oh, and then I said, they said, "You haven't seen it." And I go, "No."
00:09:40
>> And then the lead girl uh in the movie said, "Oh, are you too scared?" I said,
00:09:44
"Yeah." And the guy goes, "My grandma saw it and she only sees like the sheep
00:09:50
detective." I go, "Well, that's too scary for me." I said, "I didn't know
00:09:54
the sheep talk. They didn't tell me that. That would scare the [ __ ] out of
00:09:57
Oh, we [ __ ] laughed so hard at that one." And then, um, >> so you're just knocked over. No, I took
00:10:04
off. We gave it 45 >> 45 seconds. Did they say, "Ah, David Spade, man. I loved
00:10:13
>> blank. >> Tommy Gun. Tommy Boy. >> I love Tommy Gun. I know. Tommy Boy.
00:10:19
>> I love Bench Stopppers. >> Hey, I love that thing you do with Dana
00:10:24
Garney. Uh the the uh the wall near some flies. I love that show. >> They my You know what? I get sort of a
00:10:34
AI recognition of like Robocop looks at me and they go, "I know you from something." They don't know. Oh, no.
00:10:41
You're way past that. You're in a You're in a fame thing that's a whole other cuz
00:10:46
I walked behind you when we played Indianapolis in the hotel atrium. I thought I've done a couple things. I'm
00:10:53
I'm a little a little older, but so I'm walking and man, you just got David Sp.
00:10:59
I was like, d. Anyway, so that was our big obsession and I might have to see it now cuz when
00:11:06
I I said, "Okay, I think I'll try to see it now." If I met these people, I go,
00:11:10
"All right, I I know they're real people and this is just a movie."
00:11:15
>> So, that will help you not be afraid because they're like friends on the
00:11:18
screen. Is it a pop out scary movie or is it a creepy scary movie? >> I think is is scarier and weirder and
00:11:26
more disturbing. I think this is more >> of a clever >> twist. the girl Indie I think her name
00:11:33
is she is the lead she is with a friends with a guy I think and he's in friend
00:11:40
jail >> and I love little hooks like he gets a magic wish or something and says I want
00:11:45
her to love me more than anyone and >> oh that okay >> she gets too >> too much yeah
00:11:53
>> you know I just wonder you when you watch the uh you know box office mojo
00:11:59
and you see that a low-budget thing made by a 19-year-old kid is number one, you
00:12:04
know, and then you're the executive producer of the Mandalorian with the Baby Yoda. WHAT THE [ __ ] IS GOING ON? I
00:12:12
WANT ANSWERS. WE PAID 600 million with advertising and budget. This little [ __ ] comes in with 200 grand and he's
00:12:21
outdoing us. I want answers, people. >> I will tell you my theory about this and
00:12:25
it's a theory that people are scared to hear. in The Mandalorian. >> Prepare
00:12:31
>> Baby Yoda. It has been a while since they filmed the series. Two problems.
00:12:35
One, people just thought it was a TV show because it was a TV show. Why make it a movie?
00:12:42
>> And number two, the real problem, Baby Yoda was so cute, but now he's older and
00:12:47
he's like nine and it's not cute anymore. >> Well, I mean, in the movie, Baby Yoda is
00:12:51
not a baby. >> I mean, he is, but he looks older and it's not cute. You don't. It's like it's
00:12:56
like uh the Fred Flintstone or something, but you they stay frozen in time. Once you have a baby Yoda, it
00:13:01
can't, you know. >> I know. But Dane, in my head, he's old and it's not cute anymore to me. He's he
00:13:06
should be walking. >> Before he was like, "Baby Yoda is no try, only do." Now, in this movie, he's
00:13:13
got a little gray things coming out of his green head. He's like, >> "Is no try only do
00:13:19
not see do." >> Yeah. And he goes, "Yeah." And he's like, "Hey." and he's throwing tantrums
00:13:24
and they can't get the mission done cuz he's screaming and crying and pooping
00:13:28
and they're like, "Oh, he's in like the terrible sevens or something."
00:13:31
>> Really? They changed the diver. I mean, I bought a ticket on to go this
00:13:35
Saturday, but I don't know. So, it it only did bad because it's a Disney big.
00:13:41
It's a Star Wars movie. Otherwise, it did fine. But they usually do a billion.
00:13:46
>> Other any other movie, it's already over 100 million. people would be [ __ ]
00:13:50
but they're like complete total failure when and any anyone else would love that
00:13:56
much. Like back rooms and obsession are neck andneck with that and they're like
00:14:01
a miracle, you know. So, >> well, I'll just say this. I I saw Pressure.
00:14:06
>> Oh, you did? Oh, great. >> I went to I went to the theater. >> I'm going to go to see it in theater
00:14:12
>> and uh it's fantastic. He's v He's fantastic. It's just a great It's just a
00:14:17
great movie and he is great in it and and the whole cast. So, it's just like a
00:14:21
really watchable cool >> uh and so I like to sit in the back. It's stadium seating but the screen's
00:14:28
really big. So, I'm like, "Oh, wow. No one's around me. This is cool."
00:14:31
>> You love that. >> So, there's a guy by himself, two rows in front of me. Holy [ __ ] Starts
00:14:37
bringing that phone up brightly. >> Oh, right. during the film taking a selfie. I see him typing on the stuff.
00:14:47
He's he's texting. It's a bright light. He'll bring it down a little bit then.
00:14:50
Whoa. Right. It's like the planes are crashing. So, what I did was I had a hat. So, I took it and I had to hold my
00:14:59
hat in a certain position to block out the light of his thing. Here's the reason why. If I go down
00:15:06
>> and regulate >> and have to tell someone, hey, could you put your phone away that I the the idea
00:15:11
I have to tell them just during the movie would make me so mad that I couldn't get back into the movie. But
00:15:18
the hat worked. >> Well, could Paula go take care of business? >> It was Paula actually with the It wasn't
00:15:24
>> Oh, she said sat far away from you. >> Yeah, she likes to be a little closer
00:15:29
and she took some selfies. >> She likes to stare straight up. That's great.
00:15:36
Uh, that's great. You know, I Let's tell the people the dirty little behind thes
00:15:41
scenes secrets of our show is >> when we do a movie like Brendan Frasier, big movie star,
00:15:47
>> sometimes they will sneak us the movie >> on our laptop to watch.
00:15:52
>> Yes. >> Now, we like Brandon. He's been on before and I was intrigued by this movie
00:15:58
as were you. >> We could not for the like likes of us whatever figure it out and I
00:16:07
did different passwords and I was a suggested password and I blocked off two hours couldn't do it. Next day Heather
00:16:14
tries to work on we all work on they go we'll send you a new one. Oh this isn't
00:16:17
working. Oh are you inside Wi-Fi? Are you in a data center? So it's basically
00:16:22
a million problems. Never saw it. They I know. I tried to three three three hours in they asked for my bank
00:16:31
account number and access and how to get into my bank accounts >> and then I got a little suspicious like
00:16:38
why would they need that for me just to see a screener and then they said can we
00:16:42
find out what David Spade you know could we get his >> bank account numbers and I did give
00:16:47
yours which I shouldn't have. Oh, I gave Bitcoin and it got me to the next level.
00:16:52
But I was like, "When's the movie play?" They said, "You can pay in Bitcoin." I
00:16:57
go, "What am I pay?" I thought this was free. And they're like, "That's what you
00:17:01
thought?" >> I was waiting so long with the music act to get to the next level to download the
00:17:06
film that actually made, you know, I have my little puppets. I made puppets of Brendan Frasier and other actors in
00:17:11
the movie and was acting out what I thought the movie would be like. >> It actually was very entertaining. Well,
00:17:17
when I got in, they said, "Can you," that's what we always do. We always do
00:17:21
this. Well, when I got in, it said, "Show these show these pictures so you're not a robot. Which one's a
00:17:28
motorcycle?" And then the next one is like, "Pick the conundrum." I'm like,
00:17:32
"Well, these are getting harder. I don't know." >> You get the motorcycle one, too. And
00:17:36
it's like, I'm getting a motorcycle, motorcycle, motorcycle, and they go,
00:17:39
"No, not enough motorcycles." And it's like barely a tiny part of the
00:17:43
handlebar. >> That's not a motorcycle. What do you think? They go, "No, what do you think?"
00:17:48
Because you're about to be wrong. >> Are you a robot? No. Well, let's test that theory. And they
00:17:56
go, "One after the other, right?" Then finally, it's like they go, "David
00:18:00
Spade. Pick out David Spade in the tic-tac-toe square. I see him there. I see him there." And I go, "That's it."
00:18:06
And they go, "No, >> just part of his hair in the back is flipping out in the corner." I go, "You
00:18:11
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00:19:35
Look at my Budweiser shirt. This shirt is cool. No one's talking about it, but
00:19:39
>> I kind of want >> three days. >> I like I'm sort of I would love to get a
00:19:43
white t-shirt. It's hard to get them. People say, you know, he always wears black, but I would love to get white.
00:19:49
Where do I get them? No, you can't get white. >> Where do you get white?
00:19:53
>> Where do you get a white t-shirt? >> I like when people go, "You can get them
00:19:57
anywhere." And I go, "Anywhere?" And they're like, "No."
00:20:00
>> 7-Eleven. No. >> Your Gap. >> Go to your precious Gap. >> But I They don't have white. Go to James
00:20:07
purse >> n they don't they can't can't get a purse there. >> They have good white ones are very thin.
00:20:15
>> Well, what I was going to ask Heather, we might as well do it live on air.
00:20:19
>> Let's do Amazon live >> because this this people don't know the
00:20:22
inside baseball. What comedians need is a lightweight jacket that just a lightweight thing. Now, something you
00:20:29
can wear a sport coat this and that just kind of so so you're not just if you're
00:20:33
going to a gig, you have a little bit of warmth. If the if the green room's >> cool plain a little bit of break from
00:20:39
the freezing >> and you have 150 lightweight cool jackets. >> I have a lot of coats. Yeah.
00:20:44
>> I left my jean jacket was the only jacket I have >> at my house. >> Yeah. And I I've seen the pictures the
00:20:51
paps took. I' I know you're wearing it around town. That's all right. You do
00:20:55
that. But >> not now. >> I was going to ask Heather, where do you get your your lightweight jackets?
00:21:02
>> God, I get a lot of them. Um, we can figure it out. >> Always not exactly perfect. So when I go
00:21:06
on the road >> Oh, Zara. >> Zara men's, >> which is a woman's story.
00:21:12
>> Tech me. I won't remember that the [ __ ] out of you. >> Also zips up the side. I like cuz when I
00:21:18
travel everything falls out. It's like coat is like the purse. So everything
00:21:22
falls out. >> I don't mind a little here where I put a in there >> and you know your ticket, your boarding
00:21:28
pass, you're over here cuz all the travel. But I will never travel with just like a t-shirt. It gets so effing
00:21:35
freezing and to bore the [ __ ] out of you even more. >> When I went to Chicago for gigs this
00:21:40
weekend. >> Well, that one's thick. >> Well, for a for a puffy jacket, it's
00:21:45
really light. >> Yeah. You have one size fits all. You're just like a puffer. That's your coat.
00:21:50
>> Well, kind of. >> That's cool. Sam Elliot. >> Yeah, but you couldn't wear it on stage.
00:21:55
I don't know. But anyway, >> a little too much. Yeah. >> So, I go to Chicago. I'm doing a couple
00:21:59
gigs and our our airport news, >> which this show always turns into, >> I won't bore you with the details,
00:22:08
>> but here's the boring details. When I land in Chicago, it's already an hour to
00:22:13
the airport on this end, an hour wait, >> four and a half hour flight. Fine. I
00:22:17
love my craft. >> Yes. >> So, I'm excited for the show, but it's a
00:22:21
little bit of a slog. So, I get there and this is the first time I've been picked up and they go, "Great. be about
00:22:28
hour and a half for the hotel. And I go, "An hour and a half." >> What What airport are you flying into?
00:22:35
>> And where's the gig down in Illinois? >> I'm just going into a hotel in Chicago
00:22:40
downtown. >> Why would it take an hour and a half? Traffic. >> Cuz traffic is that bad. And it's not
00:22:44
even Friday. It is a bad time of day. Not to be confused with bad time of the month. But it's a bad time of the day.
00:22:52
And >> I can't I don't Yes, you do. Yes, you do. I didn't I didn't get it either.
00:23:00
>> So this guy slogs us. We have to reroute and just go straight to dinner cuz it's
00:23:04
getting so late when you're cooped up with my >> Is the show that night?
00:23:08
>> No, I would never. Not. We fly the day before. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So now you're dying on the vine. And
00:23:13
then we decide to walk >> to the hotel from dinner to burn off our fat. >> Freezing. We weren't ready for it.
00:23:22
the stuff you put up with to bring your >> to bring joy. >> Art art and your joy to the people.
00:23:28
>> The only thing I'll call it is art. There's no other word for it.
00:23:32
>> The next time you do a flight to a gig and it's a 13-hour travel day, call me.
00:23:37
>> No, seriously, call me. >> You walk me through it. >> No, I'm not kidding. I
00:23:41
>> What does that mean? >> I'm holding it. Just I'm seriously. I
00:23:45
mean, just call me because the idea is that, you know, I have a 13-our travel day that I did. I
00:23:52
don't think you knew it. >> What are you talking about? >> You'll give me tips.
00:23:58
>> I had a 13-hour travel day. I drove from the farm to LA. >> That's right. That's right.
00:24:03
>> Yeah. I think that was on the last week's podcast. >> You're not a complainer, but I am. So, I
00:24:08
will actively >> I can get cranky. I get, but I kind of I always say to myself when I'm in really
00:24:15
rough air and just please be seated and whatever and drenched in sweat and the hotel's 3 hours away, I always go, "What
00:24:22
am I doing here?" I to I go, "What am I doing here?" >> Yeah.
00:24:26
>> And then I go, "Well, you're earning money here." >> Yeah. This is a job.
00:24:31
>> It's a job. >> When I'm up there, it looks breezy. And when you're grinding, I will only really
00:24:36
complain about the pain. if it hurts my neck. Other than that, it's all boring.
00:24:40
Sure, sure, sure. But we land in Chicago and it's like we park and everyone starts to stand up. They go, "No, we we
00:24:46
don't have a parking spot. We're we're in the middle of the runway. So, just
00:24:49
hang hang tight, Dana. One solid hour of hanging tight." And it's already over,
00:24:54
which is infuriating because you're like, "What are we doing? >> Hurry up and wait. That's it." Jerry
00:25:01
Seinfeld, I think, said standup is about waiting. >> Hurry up and wait is movies. That's they
00:25:06
always say. I probably can't describe this, but the last time Paul and I flew
00:25:10
into Chicago, there was a one in a century windstorm. >> Dust century. >> It was a No, I'm serious. You could look
00:25:17
it up. It's like a year ago, year. I don't know. It was just just a 10 mile
00:25:21
high dust thing that was enveloping the city. We were the one of the last planes
00:25:25
in. You could bar everything was like you couldn't even see the city was we're
00:25:29
coming in going in heavy. Everybody, please be seated. Don't want a flight attendant, you know, locked up. We got
00:25:36
we got road stories, man. People going, "What else are you guys talking about?"
00:25:39
>> You're in a scene from The Mummy. Um, all right. We can get to uh Oh, here's
00:25:45
some stories. Oh, yeah. The Knicks. I'm worried about the Knicks because >> it would be really fun to see them win,
00:25:52
but there was just a soccer match where they burned the city to the ground when they won. I thought they lost. And I'm
00:25:59
scared of New York winning because they get so excited. There's always someone
00:26:03
that goes, "My excitement equals fire." And so you go, "Well, what about just
00:26:10
good oldfashioned pop the champagne?" No. >> Yeah. Why not go hooray?
00:26:16
>> Hooray is great. Hooray. >> You know what? I'm so glad the Knicks
00:26:19
won. I think we should light some cards on fire. >> I know. Why don't we pick one? Light it.
00:26:25
>> Uh I know. I don't know why. We will see. I do >> I I like San Antonio. They're great. But
00:26:31
I kind of feel like the Knicks would be it. I like when they go they're due.
00:26:37
They are due. Give them something fun. >> Um the Knicks beat the Spurs during the
00:26:43
regular season. What you're watching is a reality show, right? So the reality
00:26:48
show on the Spurs side. The team is like the youngest team that's ever been in
00:26:54
the NBA finals. These guys are right out of high school. 22 is the senior vet. Listen up everybody. Then they have they
00:27:01
have Harrison Barnes. He's the old man. Um and basically you're watching a team
00:27:07
gain confidence in real time, you know. So we don't really know what's going to
00:27:11
happen and that's >> Well, we don't know because we are it the first game is tonight. So this will
00:27:17
be after the second game and I'm sure we'll know more after two games. We'll
00:27:21
probably know who won two games. >> But >> well, yeah, Jaylen uh Brunson is quite a
00:27:26
>> he's a monster. Well, because they always say he's the shortest guy. He's
00:27:30
the smallest guy on the court. >> Yeah. >> At 6'2 or something, >> but he'll get to 10 feet or five feet
00:27:37
away. He goes around people and then he just switches these things. >> But then if the alien's in there at 76
00:27:45
with an 8ft wingspan, Jaylen's going to have to aim at the top of the Here's the
00:27:51
guy about to shoot and he gets the ball thrown him. As he's dipping down to shoot, here comes
00:27:58
Here's the hand. And here comes the >> There's the net. He literally has to
00:28:05
throw it straight up. >> That's what I used to do. It's horrible. >> Straight up to get over the alien into
00:28:10
the into the thing. So anyway, I like I like I I I'm not really rooting like in
00:28:16
a personal way for because I'm Golden State Warriors, but uh I like both teams. Be interesting,
00:28:22
>> right? Uh we're having an election, but it's probably going to be it won't be
00:28:26
over. or they'll be down to the last two. And >> it looks like Spencer Pratt and Karen
00:28:32
Bass are going to be as of of this of >> press time >> at press time are going to be in a
00:28:38
runoff and that's not till November. >> Yeah. and two very different thinkers.
00:28:45
And uh if it's those two, it would be kind of a race because in LA, if people
00:28:51
you didn't know this, um >> uh for as long as you at home, they don't understand it.
00:28:55
>> What I didn't know is when they do a preliminary uh voting, it's the top two
00:29:03
candidates. It doesn't I I always thought it was Republican versus Democrat.
00:29:07
>> Yes. >> The top of each one. But it's not it's whatever the top two voters are. So if
00:29:12
the top two votes are for two Democrats or two Republicans, those two move on. So it's really just
00:29:19
>> already almost one. It's just between two different ones. So this will be for
00:29:23
the first time in a while, it will be >> old school boxing match. >> Well, it is. I mean, in the history of
00:29:30
California, the last generation or so, it the idea that there's sort of maybe a
00:29:36
possible race going to happen, you know, I mean, it's usually not close. The
00:29:41
Democrats will usually win by about 30% 40% usually. So, >> same thing with governor. So, I think
00:29:49
it's going to be interesting for the next >> Steve Steve Hilton from Great Britain. I
00:29:55
came over to be governor. I appreciate any vote, even if it's not for me. >> This state is in a state of disaster,
00:30:03
and I know how to fix it. >> Little Pierce Morgan. >> No, no, that was a little Michael Kaine.
00:30:10
Pierce Morgan's like, >> Piers Morgan. >> Um, >> is someone laying down handing him to
00:30:16
you? Is Paula down there? >> No, they're I put I keep it nearby. >> One man show.
00:30:21
>> So, David, um, is this your idea of a good show? I mean, >> he's always so [ __ ] critical.
00:30:27
>> Um, when you talk about flights that are difficult, do do you think people enjoy
00:30:31
that? I mean, do you think that's an amusing story to tell? >> Well, we do it a lot. So, I think maybe
00:30:36
you're right that we should sort of trim that part up. >> I take his I I listen to what he says.
00:30:44
>> Well, I got to get a shorter stick so he can get up in your groove. >> He really he gets too confrontational
00:30:49
with me. I don't like him that close. >> That close. Yeah. >> Yeah.
00:30:54
Maybe there's something wrong with me. Why did Why do I have this puppet? >> I didn't know they're so little. I guess
00:31:00
you push you push them up to the camera. They're funny. >> Whoa. Hold on.
00:31:04
>> Hang on. One man band. Ching ching ching. Don't let the things fall out of
00:31:08
your ear. Oh my gosh, Heather. Look at this. The church lady. >> How long did that take
00:31:19
your horse to make? Hang on. I'm going to >> Yes. as the baby. >> Yeah. Do you have a glue stick? These
00:31:26
are questions from the audience. >> These are made by a friend of mine, Mark
00:31:29
Hershawn, who just didn't know. It was surprisingly difficult. >> You You have to get the right size of
00:31:35
the person. Some are giant like uh Dean Martin was just a huge one. >> Do you want to pick three randoms and do
00:31:43
Buzzing Around? >> Um yeah, I have an idea for buzzing around. Um I'll let you get situated
00:31:49
while I introduce it. >> Okay, here we go. Okay, take your time. >> Mhm.
00:31:54
>> Ladies and gentlemen, I wish we had a drum roll. It's time for Buzzing Around
00:31:59
your favorite thing in the world. Sponsored by Five Our Energies Firework Freeze Flavor.
00:32:08
Ignite your taste buds with a red, white, and blue freezer pop. Classic re-imagined
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>> as a delicious firework freeze 5 energy shot. Why is that hard for me to say?
00:32:20
Find firework freeze shots online at five energy.com >> or Amazon today. Okay. Now,
00:32:29
>> Dana is going to >> You've seen him since I brought Pierce Morgan. I'm going to do a Pierce.
00:32:35
>> Oh, I like him. Okay. >> Mhm. >> Okay. He's going to do a scenario.
00:32:39
>> A scenario when and different characters will come into the scenario. >> Three minimum. Max. There's no Max.
00:32:48
>> Max 37. Max the whole bucket. >> Um, welcome to the Pierce Morgan Show. I
00:32:55
have array of guests here to talk about the situation I ran in and the straight horses.
00:33:00
>> Oh, it's getting serious. Okay, >> I know. Should I do that or I don't
00:33:04
care. Go ahead. >> Here's my first guest. You all know him. Arnold, former governor, movie star
00:33:10
Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold, what do you have to say? Yeah, but everybody says a good.
00:33:19
All right, that's well put. Um, man's opinion. >> What Woody Allen, let me do without
00:33:25
that. Woody Allen, what do you have to say? Um, all right. That's very good. Now,
00:33:34
Bill Clinton, what do you have to say? Say, oh, very good. President Barack Obama.
00:33:49
>> Adam Sandler, the famous movie star and comedian. Adam Sandler, what do you have
00:33:53
to say, David? >> And of course, President Trump. D. >> No one's really saying anything.
00:34:15
>> You'd think. >> No, I think I kind of understand. Jimmy Jimmy Fallon, what do you have to
00:34:23
say? This is crazy. George W. Bush, what do you have to say? And David Spade, what do you have to
00:34:39
say? >> Uh, I was at the airport. >> I think we have >> the only thing I talk about.
00:34:49
>> Too many airport stories. >> I know. >> So embarrassed. >> And Mike Ty said, "Finally." What do you
00:34:56
have to say? >> Oh, this feels like a closer. >> Yeah. I What are you going to do about
00:35:01
it? >> Oh, >> what? What do you mean? What am I >> taking a dump?
00:35:07
What are you going to do about it? >> Well, what what what do you mean? What
00:35:12
are you going to do about like what should I do about it or what am I going to do about it?
00:35:17
>> Good question. >> Well, just you know what are you going to do about it? That's what I say. I say
00:35:21
what are you going to do about Arnold? Yeah. What are you going to do about it? Woody. Yeah. What are you going to do
00:35:26
about it? Clinton, what are you going to do about it? Trump. What are you gonna do about it?
00:35:33
>> Jimmy F. What are you gonna do about? >> Love it. What are you gonna do about it?
00:35:40
And sing. >> All right. >> That was a different one. This has been buzzing around. I'm guessing
00:35:48
>> that was I don't know. That was a >> my premise my premise was to do the
00:35:53
impressions so that everyone was just a sound but I I did that little little Bobbly you know
00:36:01
>> this was buzzing around whatever that was was buzzing around sponsored by
00:36:05
Energy's firework breeze flavor the iconic red white and blue freezer pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar
00:36:13
spark a tasty flavor sensation with firework freeze five our energy shots available
00:36:18
>> online at five energy.com and Amazon today. Good job. >> All right, let's go to some news
00:36:26
stories. You did a really You >> That was incredible. >> No, you worked. Good job.
00:36:30
>> I worked it. >> People know they're Oh, this is about AI. >> I love it.
00:36:34
>> Our favorite your favorite subject. >> Example for the world where the world
00:36:42
can benefit incredibly data center like this and the local community can be thrilled with the decision. We know how
00:36:49
complex of a project this is. We know what the current attitude towards data centers in the world is. And I'll come
00:36:54
back to this, but I think we can make this a great example for the future, but this is this is a huge bet. Um, and this
00:37:00
is something that is not uh not an easy. Hopefully someday we'll all read about
00:37:06
some incredible thing AI has done for society. >> It's easy to throw around these numbers.
00:37:10
One gigawatt. >> I can. It's a lot of gigawatt. Tens of billions of dollars. Billions.
00:37:17
to conceptualize that too. And it's it's easy to look out at this right now and
00:37:21
say, "Okay, you know, looks like another construction project sounds like a lot
00:37:25
of money." >> Scale of this what this much AI can do for the world. Sounds like, oh, it's a
00:37:31
big number. I've heard >> I still don't I have a question for him though.
00:37:37
>> This turn into the site where millions of small businesses can >> without employees with AI in the cloud.
00:37:43
It is very important >> says the billionaire >> a model for how >> I don't know I I
00:37:49
>> mutually benefit each other. Um I >> I think I understand something about how
00:37:56
the middle >> what it takes to >> have a project. >> Why does he seem nervous and hesitant?
00:38:01
He's he's >> he's trying to spin it like it's so great. >> The world can benefit
00:38:08
like this. >> Have a farm machine. We know how complex. He's not being
00:38:13
specific. >> He's sort of just generally if you're in the Midwest, that's an oven. You know
00:38:20
that these people do not want you there. I could I would imagine because they're
00:38:25
sort of like taking over farms, taking >> Well, look, here's the question. I like
00:38:31
specifics like where is he? How much open land? Where is it? How far is it away from the town center? Is it to
00:38:38
admit any pollution or is it a matter of they bring in hydraulic natural gas >> right
00:38:44
>> that they can kind of in right at the site power it but the idea is as follows
00:38:50
is that we this is the promise that AI as far as biio medicine and stuff like that no more cancer sorry
00:38:58
>> we don't see it that much of that >> they don't talk about it as much but the
00:39:03
reason they're doing this >> lead with that >> is it's it it's this next level kind of
00:39:08
brain. So you can an AI can read a 100,000 pages of data and in two seconds and remember every part of it. So it can
00:39:16
look at cells it can it can identify cells how they move around certain cells >> uh 20 years before they turn into cancer
00:39:27
cells. The cancer cells potential cancer cells move differently. Only the AI could see that. The other thing is
00:39:34
people worry about climate change and energy. Look at this straighter hormuse. Unlimited fusion energy or whatever AI
00:39:40
comes up. Totally clean and unlimited. So the reason this stuff's a pain in the
00:39:45
ass. We get it. But they're not really explaining what the potentiality is. And
00:39:50
that seems to be the consensus is that we are going to open up things we can't
00:39:55
comprehend. The problem is the efficiency of these corporations in certain segments. AI agents they're
00:40:04
called. And there are a lot of people, you know, we may have an AI agent at some point.
00:40:09
>> Oh, you mean where you call and talk to an AI? >> Yeah. And it'll be really, really,
00:40:13
really, really conversational. >> I did a hotel >> on the road and I call I call down and
00:40:19
they said, "Call uh Abigail and texts her." And this is a weird thing. And I
00:40:25
said, "To get whatever you want." And I have to text Abigail. She texts back,
00:40:31
"Hi, what can I do for you?" And I go, "I just need this." And she goes, "Okay,
00:40:34
put your name, put your email, put your room number, put this." And I do all
00:40:39
this horseshit. She's like, "What can I do?" I go, "I need this because this is
00:40:43
broken in my room. Could you help me?" Well, actually, put your name. And it
00:40:47
went in circles and nothing happened. And that's when you want to go, I get it, but I would rather talk to someone
00:40:53
at some point because it kind of got stuck in a glitch. Uh, another problem is I think they should lead with the
00:41:00
we're curing cancer and not with we're taking all your jobs. >> So that's why he's saying all what it
00:41:06
could do because great but there's eminent domain or if I'm using the right
00:41:10
term where these people are just being told we'd like to come to your farm and
00:41:14
buy it and they say no and they say well well we can do the dirty way eminent domain we're just taking it so we'll pay
00:41:20
you some money fair value get out of here. And a lot of places are also voting against it, but there's small
00:41:27
townships that have a million-dollar budget and they go, "We're going to sue
00:41:31
you and they settle and just say, "Just do it. We only have a million dollars to
00:41:34
sue you back and we can't afford your high fallutin lawyers." So, it's just
00:41:39
going to happen no matter what. And now the buzzing is what bothers me when people say they live near them and you
00:41:44
hear, >> "Well, that that can't happen. That's terrifying." if their energy is where
00:41:51
they are like these uh small they call them SMR small modular reactors are on the horizon but they will be a very safe
00:42:01
somewhat gigawatt small nuclear reactor and so you can put it in the middle of Montana
00:42:07
>> small >> and then it'll get the energy that it needs it needs energy and water they
00:42:12
don't really explain it well enough that why are they doing this and why are so
00:42:15
many people doing it and why do we have to build so many data centers Couldn't
00:42:20
we build one giant data center that'll give us all this information? But the
00:42:24
one thing about humans, I mean, in the industrial revolution, they they were furious at the people. Now, they weren't
00:42:31
shoveling thing. They had a steam shovel. >> Yeah. >> And the horse and buggy people went
00:42:35
crazy when cars came in. >> We're taking that business. It's bombing.
00:42:40
>> Yeah. I was surprised when I first went to your house. You have a really cool
00:42:43
horse and buggy out front. I go I go, David, it's 2026. I thought they were coming back, but it's going the other
00:42:49
way. >> You're like, "Hey, buddy. >> Hey, buddy. >> That was a good horse. You did a good
00:43:00
>> That was uh Yeah, cuz I I have horses. Don't be Don't be jealous. Don't be mad.
00:43:04
>> I am a little jealous. Very calming to have a horse. >> I think you're more mad at my horses."
00:43:09
>> I'm just mad at everything. Farm, your land. Ah, but anyway, >> you can have an inflatable koi at your
00:43:17
house. That's what you need in the backyard. >> Ah, but here's hear me now. I'll believe
00:43:25
me later. You know, we're going to have very safe, self-driving cars. No more
00:43:29
car accidents. We're going to have cars that are completely clean, running on
00:43:33
clean energy. You know, um there's a lot of benefits, but we may have to have
00:43:38
universal basic income. It's going to have to be like good news and bad news.
00:43:42
The bad news you're fired. The good news is you're going to get a check now.
00:43:45
People >> that. Yeah. So, it is weird. I mean, eventually they will replace us, David.
00:43:53
You know. Yeah. They'll be robot comedians that will crush. >> All right, we'll move on to the next
00:43:59
one. But Dana is very knowledgeable. >> Well, not really, but >> ask them in the comments.
00:44:04
>> Okay. >> Is it another hippo thing? Let me see. Tennessee has deployed robots to deal
00:44:08
with the feral hog problem. Let's see how they do it. Okay, >> this is in Tennessee. Wild boores.
00:44:16
Hey, come back hogs. >> And that's the robot. >> This is your answer.
00:44:22
>> This dupus. >> He's >> Well, I don't blame the hogs.
00:44:28
>> I don't blame it. Doesn't have a weapon or anything. It's just so [ __ ]
00:44:31
creepy. The hawks of course are [ __ ] later. >> We would go up to them and go.
00:44:38
>> I had three javalas on my front yard when I lived in Arizona. They come down
00:44:42
off the mountain. Squap peak. >> Uhoh. Did you have a pig noise? >> I'm sure I do have a pig noise. Hold on.
00:44:51
>> If we had more time, I would really show you. I would show you up. That's a scene from Obsession.
00:45:01
Horses. >> Um, okay. >> I'll find it for next week's episode.
00:45:08
>> All right. What? Anything else? We got more stories. We got a lot of stories.
00:45:11
>> No, no. >> Um, >> how how much were the actors paid on Euphoria? Is this interesting? I was
00:45:19
telling Heather this. Let's see. Season. >> Here's how much actors were paid for.
00:45:23
And I saw it all. In sixth place, the lowest paid actress is Ma App Apatile, who plays Lexi. She was paid $250,000
00:45:29
per episode, totaling $2 million season. Fifth place is actress Hunter Schaefer,
00:45:34
who plays Jules. And she was also paid $250,000 per episode, or $2 million for the season. In fourth place is actress
00:45:41
Alexa Demi, who plays Maddie. She was paid $600,000 per episode, which comes to $4.8 million for the season. Now,
00:45:48
onto the podium. Coming in third place is actor Jacob, who plays Nate. He was paid $700,000 per episode, which comes
00:45:54
to 5.6 season. In second place, as you probably guessed, is actress Sydney Sweeney, who
00:46:00
plays Cassie. And she was paid $800,000 per episode, totaling $6.4 million for the season. Not surprising given she's
00:46:07
become a superstar. And of course, the highest paid actress is Zena, who plays Ru, and she was paid $1 million per
00:46:13
episode, totaling $8 million for the season. It's worth noting that she was paid $500,000 per episode and all the
00:46:20
other actors mentioned earlier were paid $25,000 per episode. So Sydney the biggest pay raise. Here's how much
00:46:27
>> you believe some random person. >> Why would what? Why would I believe it?
00:46:30
>> Believe on them. >> I'm not I'm just saying just for fodder
00:46:34
that I actually believe that that could be true. >> This is their biggest show. I saw
00:46:39
another thing on this. It's their biggest show on HBO worldwide. It went up 44% from season 2. People complained
00:46:47
about the story lines, but there were two many big stars in it, and they were too beautiful and good-looking, the two
00:46:54
leads, and Maddie and uh Jacob Lord. He's great-looking dudes. So, they're
00:46:59
just big stars with a weird show. It's got a lot of sex and violence in it. And
00:47:03
I feel bad for teenagers going, "This of course influences people." They say it
00:47:08
doesn't, but of course it doesn't. And if you're not doing what they're doing
00:47:10
on the show, you're like, "Oh, this is what people are doing that are my age.
00:47:13
Oh, we should do this." Like, >> I think it's all iffy, but >> it is a a dispiriting global phenomenon
00:47:21
for a lot of people that like when I was a kid, we had like a billionaire J Paul
00:47:25
Getty and that was it. And now you're just seeing and hearing so much about what people are getting and it just
00:47:32
feels like, >> you know, what am I missing out on? That's why everyone's in the stock
00:47:37
market. Everyone's playing the stock market. It's >> Well, it keeps going up and I'm shocked
00:47:41
it's record again. I'm like I'm I don't have enough in there. But, you know,
00:47:44
>> well, it's because the if you believe the AI thesis as we just talked about
00:47:50
that this thing is going and they're going to be all these companies that you
00:47:54
didn't really think about like Corning used to make glass. They're they're in
00:47:59
the AI thing and bottlenecks and uh Caterpillar stock and Gurova which is >> but won't be pushed away or are they
00:48:07
just going to build data? >> Well, they they call it capix. It's going to probably take another five
00:48:12
years to to before it starts to have been built and it'll come back down. But
00:48:18
there's there's potentially going to go up for a while. I don't know. But basically, what who does that?
00:48:25
Is it HBO Max who does that show? HBO and you know when they spend that much money like Netflix spends a lot of money
00:48:30
on things it has to be worth it to spend that much money. So to have your biggest
00:48:35
flagship show globally in every country making you money >> they yeah they're not being nice.
00:48:41
They're they're paying someone's figured out what their market value
00:48:44
>> deal somehow you know plus all the hashtags and all the Instagrams and all
00:48:49
the people that tag it and talk about it. It's just everywhere. Well, what the
00:48:53
live streaming sites do now is they give you money upfront, but they won't give
00:48:57
you backend. Now, if you come from Friends or or Ray Romano or those people, which I'm all happy for them,
00:49:03
they're still making like 18 million a year uh 25 years later. >> Biggest shows that were the Big Bang
00:49:10
probably >> because they got ownership, you know, they got back reruns and there's really
00:49:15
not reruns anymore. Well, in live streaming, they don't really rerun them unlet, you know. So, I I don't know, but
00:49:22
uh yeah, I'm with you. >> And and what do they net? >> I I mean, no one they don't want you to
00:49:29
know, but it's huge money. Huge money. So, I believe those numbers. I think they're I I would think the top people
00:49:36
are worth it. The rest I guess they are worth it, and they're part of a show,
00:49:40
part of the fabric. So, you know, more power to them. >> I say get every penny you can. And
00:49:44
they're all they're all worth it. And you know that show. Yeah, you're right.
00:49:48
When a when a they get a global phenomenon like that, it just brings they can lean shows in on. It's a big
00:49:54
huge asset. >> And and that's it. That was the last one. So I mean they could keep the name
00:50:00
and and populate it with more people like you know they do on these reality shows and it might do as well. The name
00:50:05
is a big deal to have Euphoria. People love it. Uh this reminded me of something though Dana because with all
00:50:11
this money there's a guy you were just talking about the election. There's a
00:50:15
guy running for It reminded me of your Bernie Sanders bit because he's running
00:50:19
for governor. >> Oh yeah. Tommy Styer. He's >> and he's a billionaire and and his new
00:50:24
thing was you know we're going to have trillionaires soon and we got to stop
00:50:27
these people. I'm like oh it went from I'm like how can you talk about and he
00:50:33
was saying some people have too much money. We got to stop the wealth gap. I'm like it should literally be coming
00:50:38
from anyone else. Like you're a billionaire. He's like and that's not
00:50:41
that much anymore. I thought it was millionaire. >> Yeah, I think it's the be it's the the
00:50:48
worst or best kept secret in the world is what is what is a billion dollars, you know? I mean, and if I don't know
00:50:54
how much he's got, but if he was very honest about it, he goes he'd go, "Well,
00:50:58
I got 10 billion. I got it in bonds. I make like 500 million a year net for hanging out, you know? I mean, you can't
00:51:06
even get it. It's like gum on your shoe. >> You can't spend it." Yeah. Fast enough.
00:51:11
Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. But um you know there's no billionaires in in Cuba or North Korea.
00:51:18
So it's sort of part of this thing that's unfortunate but maybe it's out of
00:51:22
control but we just have to have people be able to win. You know they create a lot of jobs. So
00:51:28
>> yeah I don't I don't know the answer. >> He spent 150 million on the campaign so
00:51:32
far. So they do have some say but I think he's preaching to a crowd that's
00:51:36
like wait I think billionaires aren't the hot thing right now. Well, Bernie even took it a step further
00:51:44
because, you know, he would say it's the millionaires and the billionaires and
00:51:46
then he found out that he was a million a millionaire. He goes, "It's the
00:51:50
billionaires, >> right?" That's what I was getting at. Like he goes, he talked about
00:51:54
trillionaires. And I'm like, "Okay, well, >> and that the trillionaires are the ones
00:51:58
>> there probably will be Elon Musk." I mean, >> but eventually a billionaire will come
00:52:02
up there AND JUST SAY, "I HATE MYSELF." >> YEAH, EXACTLY. UM, you know, I think the
00:52:09
greatest thing that Warren Buffett ever said, and I still love it, he goes, "I
00:52:12
ought to pay more tax." >> Yeah. >> I know you're like, "Okay, all human
00:52:17
beings can write a check to the Federal Reserve 247 year round. I ought to pay more tax, but I'll only pay more tax if
00:52:25
IRS agents come to my house with and point guns at me." BUT I WANT TO pay more tax, but I'll
00:52:32
only do it under this, you know. So, it's a little I'll just say this. Soap
00:52:36
boxes are slippery. >> Yeah. >> So, be careful when you get up on one.
00:52:41
You might get >> soapy. >> They're soapy and slippery. >> They're sudsy.
00:52:45
>> Any other box you could stand on. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Last. Let's do one more if you
00:52:50
feel like it. Let's see. >> Yeah. I got nothing going on. >> All right. Open carry now legal in
00:52:56
Philadelphia. This doesn't seem true, though. >> It might be fake, bro. It might be fake.
00:53:00
Let me see the bullets. >> Okay. All right. If that's good and all that. Okay. So, all you needed was a ID.
00:53:05
AI. >> I did. >> Okay. All right. So, so are you AI? >> No. >> Do you like what's going on?
00:53:10
>> Yeah. >> Tell me about yourself, young, tell me about yourself. >> Uh, over there. Make sure you get that.
00:53:15
>> Yeah. >> Look who's here. >> Walk. Walk over this room.
00:53:17
>> Is this real? I don't know. >> Come on. Walk over here. We going get
00:53:23
right here. Tell me about yourself, young fella. >> I've been growing up in the streets.
00:53:26
Seen a lot of violence. Seen a lot of things. >> I mean, I can see you concealing Carrie.
00:53:31
>> Seen a lot of things. Then I seen him, met him. He told me the law. Now we
00:53:35
outside with the >> and and I do it first so you can do it second. Is he arresting?
00:53:40
>> There's a lot of violence in Chicago. >> Those things that you told me I would
00:53:43
be. >> You can believe it now. >> Okay. So you got this. You mean you
00:53:49
How much it how much is it? Well, those are cops walking behind him. This might be fake. But okay. All right. So all
00:53:56
right. So we'll look up if concealing concealing is one thing. Yeah. business. What you want to be when you
00:54:03
>> He can jump out. >> Well, I don't know. I mean, it just forgetting the law or or anything. It
00:54:10
just if if a guy was walking around, >> you know, West West Hollywood with the
00:54:15
AR just like that looking kind of sketch and twitchy. I mean, you'd be like your
00:54:19
instinct is like, "This doesn't feel right." I mean, >> what what does it co cost to rent an
00:54:25
apartment in that neighborhood? >> It shouldn't be too much. >> 35 cents. I mean, I wouldn't want an I
00:54:31
mean, when I went to Chicago and they they probably other than Mississippi, they probably the most shootings every
00:54:36
weekend. So, they on Memorial Day, I think they had 20 shootings where people were hit. You
00:54:43
know, some died, some didn't. But >> every weekend in Chicago is really
00:54:48
terrifying and just they cannot get a handle on it. And so, something like that wouldn't shock me. It would shock
00:54:54
me, I guess, because they show police walking behind him, >> and if someone if the police aren't
00:54:58
saying anything, then I don't know. >> Well, just it really gets back to like
00:55:03
uh 1880 or something like, okay, you just have wild west. >> You there's no real law enforcement.
00:55:09
There's one dude who's who's scared and he's up in his office. >> Barney five
00:55:14
>> and Yeah. So then you just got to have weapons. We walk around with a shotgun.
00:55:18
Yeah. Could I get a um give me some I want some of this gum here. Maybe uh like give me a Coca-Cola,
00:55:25
>> right? >> Please. I'm going to pay, but I just wanted to [ __ ]
00:55:28
>> We'll buy I think people will pack because they have to say, "Listen, I
00:55:33
don't know what's out there." >> Well, where is the line? If you got
00:55:36
basically a machine gun, you're just a young man cruising around or woman. >> Can you drive a tank in the town? Could
00:55:43
you have a grenades around you and just have, you know, I need prote? >> What's illegal?
00:55:49
>> We'll look that into that one. See if it's fake. I just >> I hope you would
00:55:52
>> because Arizona's concealed carry so you can have a gun on you at all times as
00:55:57
long as you're not whipping it out or there's some where you have to show it
00:56:00
so they know they see it in a holster. carrying around a machine gun AR. >> Well, there's something about, you know,
00:56:07
I I don't you want a person with a weapon to be really It feels like that guy just bought it and slung it around.
00:56:16
>> He doesn't look like it's professional with it. >> It just seemed too casual, you know? I
00:56:21
mean, if it's it's concealed carry and you really know how to do use the weapon
00:56:24
and you're you're vetted and you you qualified and you trained for it, you
00:56:28
know. You know, I have I used to have a deer rifle and a 308. This those that mag had bolts that look like the kind I
00:56:35
use in a deer rifle, which I got for my 10th birthday, folks. That's Thanks.
00:56:41
>> Did you ever get joy in shooting a deer or was it just called a deer? >> No, I wound up not shooting deer because
00:56:46
we shot a lot of >> doves and stuff. My brother Andy didn't like it, which he had the best hunch.
00:56:52
And then as I went on, I didn't like it. I mean, dove and and quail and stuff,
00:56:59
but rabbits, but after a while, you start to go, "Wait, what are we doing?"
00:57:03
You know, and and deer, I think the only problem is you see them in the sights. Aside from they're adorable, but you see
00:57:09
them in the target and you're like, "Okay, I won. They're not move. All I
00:57:13
have to do is pull the trigger." I mean, it's not really like you're so good at
00:57:16
it, you know? It's like you're hiding. You see it. They're just doing their
00:57:20
business. It's like someone being a sniper here. You can always pick someone off. It's not like some big hard
00:57:28
>> I know. I mean it's it's a complicated subject because a lot of people eat meat
00:57:33
in this country and you know but more it's like one of a >> I don't want to be the trigger man
00:57:38
though. >> Uh it wouldn't be fun. I mean cuz you know if you're going to slay an animal
00:57:43
you want it to be for sure like you know >> over >> rather than I think I winged him. Let's
00:57:50
go. And you chase you know I don't like that. >> Is that guy southern?
00:57:54
Well, I don't know why I made them southern. I I don't got any problem with
00:57:58
southern people. You understand? >> What's that duck show? Duck Dynasty.
00:58:04
>> I know. >> All right. When should we do one more or is that it? What do you think? You got
00:58:08
to go home. >> I am home. >> Dana, I had a wonderful time with you. I
00:58:12
wore my Budweiser shirt. It's old. >> You looked awesome in the in the in the
00:58:17
look. Your the hat and the shirt you won today. My hat's a little big again, but
00:58:21
I just pulled it out because >> I have the white thing matching. >> It's cool. It's a fragile ocean. It's a
00:58:27
surf company, but >> the thing about it, I don't want to look like NASCAR. You know, you have Nick
00:58:31
Schwarzson's always like got a hat with something stupid on this and everything
00:58:35
about him is stupid also. So, it's too much. >> Oh. Uh, Schwartzy >> Schwartz. Um, he goes, "You were in
00:58:43
Minnesota. My brother went to the show. I got his brother tickets." He goes,
00:58:46
"You didn't even give me a shout out." How about I go? I'm at an Indian casino
00:58:50
outside of Minnesota. I didn't think >> he thinks he's Prince. >> I did one recently and someone came up
00:58:56
and said, "I like I liked hearing all the old stuff." >> Good. >> Good. Then I lucky.
00:59:04
>> I add little things to them. >> Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, thanks
00:59:08
Dana. >> Thanks for coming on my show. >> Next week, maybe we'll hear about the
00:59:12
horse being born. Bye-bye. All right, listen. If you're enjoying the fly on the wall, of course hopefully you
00:59:21
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>> Whoops. >> And maybe even share an episode with a friend. If you're watching this episode
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on YouTube, please subscribe. Dana, what do you think? >> I'm going to tell you this right now.
00:59:42
Hear me now. Believe me later. Fly in the Wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey and executive
00:59:50
produced by, hold for it, Dana Carvey and David Spade, or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write this stuff.
00:59:58
Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan
01:00:05
Cox with production support from Phil Sweet Tech. Talent production and booking by Sophia Leapor.