00:00:00
[Music] Jesus that's a 10.8 and scene everyone's okay you know it bugs the hell out of me as my dad used to say gripes my
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ass what burns your onion they say oh yeah well if you're staying at someone's house you have a guest room yeah yeah there's a nice warm bed for you back there okay first of all the bed has no
00:00:44
capability of making warmth it is a cold inert bed lifeless until the until my body that is warm gets in the bed and warms it up so stop giving all this cred
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to a bed well someone's in there maybe we'll push grandma out Oh you mean oh yeah but she's uh she's 107 her her her mean body temperature is
00:01:08
65 because you know lack of circulation so we're noticing that your bed is not in your background so well yeah this would be if I do a little tease I made it oh it's made I
00:01:21
know I made it but the thing about me in beds is like the sheet is a Warfare situation the sheet because you get the sheet up and the Blanket's on top and then the sheet can
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go underneath and start to travel down to your legs so the sheet usually gets kicked off and then I'm just sweating
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into these comforters uh let me finish if I can no the Sheet's not your friend she it's a bunch of bullshet um and and then the pillowcase
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comes off too I sweat and I grind into it I have nightmares and the pillowcase comes off so [ __ ] my pillowcase has seen
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at all if it could talk I mean just because when I wake up in the morning I'm so thrashed and the pillowcase is
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like what the [ __ ] if you even knew what you did all night yeah you usually at least as far as um I understand you wake
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up in a cold sweat several times a night I mix up some hot sweat actually I miss
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Kevin ne's joke where he says I wake up the sheets are in the kitchen my pillows in the garage I don't know what
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happened that's funny H have you ever done this where you woke up and you didn't realize
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that you'd orientated your head to the bottom of the bed and then you get up no and you're heading in running into things I haven't done a full spin like
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that oh I have I wake up and I everything is disorientating it's kind of like we talked about on the road how
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you just bang your shin like you're in an MMA fight on you wake up in the road you don't know you're in Little Rock you're walking through when you think is your house cuz you're in such a fog and then you crack your shin bone into
00:03:05
something H yeah it's so hard folks so hard Dana I did the road I did five days I just got home last night five nights of standup five or five days I didn't do that many I did two shows then I was in
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I went back to Austin do kill Tony which is a uh podcast which was lot of fun and
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uh you know when you stay in Austin Austin has a lake around it it's a it's like a five mile Lake anyway my first big joke on stage was um okay hey
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hey uh hey I've been here in a while I see you guys ated a lake and then no one left and then um I go uh I go oh yeah what's it called and they all said
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ladybird Lake and I go oh yeah murder Lake there's been like eight murders there Dana and so I think it's an active
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serial killer they call it and so I stayed right on the lake and it's not in the pamphlet for the hotel I'll tell you that much so I I go
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down and I'm walking around and I got scared because I said what is it with this uh what is the serial killer
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looking for I mean what is the they said well it's mostly uh 30s gay males that are very athletic and I'm like I can't leave the hotel I mean
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there you go this is did you start did you do that on stage no okay well that's the winner that's I saved the funny ones for you okay oh okay only on Superfly ladies and
00:04:37
gentlemen but Dana how funny if something happened to me and then my obituary is like gay David Spade was
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founded I'm like no no no that that guy might have thought I was and then that's
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on my resume you know what I mean oh totally for for thousands of years let me ask you a question about this please does that does the ser killer how does the lake involved he dumps the bodies in
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the lake is that what you're saying oh that's a good question I used to be I used to be a defense attorney I didn't know you'd Grill me this hard about it
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uh I think there it's a it's a path around it like how run in up here in LA but it's a path and it's very busy a lot of electric bikes giving you rug burn
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they drive on your left and I'm like yeah meow meow meow meow so they're going very fast and there's dogs and there's kids and so I think you can just sit there and Scout no one knows who's
00:05:34
scouting who and then well are there docks in boats with the houses on the lake right oh they're oh Heather said there's some accidental
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drownings oh accidental in quotes yeah I see it was in two feet of water and he was an Olympic swimmer they found him on the beach yeah
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I call Foul Play 10 bodies so but they said uh anyway I was worried because in my obituary what if they they asked the coroner and he's like I went through the whole body and uh it's too close to call
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I don't know if he's straight I'm like well don't say that say a straight guy but obviously someone thought you know
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it's that's not the way to go corner like from The Wizard of Oz has come I do declare that David's fate is very gay truly truly gay that's not that's not
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the song I want to hear on the news no it's more of a br isn't it Katherine hoer I don't know I haven't
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done that in a long time other than that we can get into headlines but that was my big exciting weekend um tick tocker
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tells illegal immigrants this is for people listening in their car tick tocker tells illegal immigrants how to
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invade American homes and invoke squatter's rights first of all first first of all I
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I don't even know why we invented squatter's rights it doesn't seem like something we need like if you can get in
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I don't really know all the rules but if you can get into someone's house when they're gone and maybe call and say I'm
00:07:13
the new owner and I want to change the gas or water I think if you can get those in your name there's something that determines it I I don't really understand it and the guy who gave the
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the talk which I saw was very cocky about it it wasn't like if you need a house or if you're in danger you're out
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in Wyoming maybe you stay for a little bit it was like this is mine but by the way yeah who we had on our sister
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podcast flying the wall Jay Leno was technically a squatter when he was really poor and struggling in la oh
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that's right he'd go to an open house and then he'd hide and then they would leave and he would stay there for like a
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week you just L look at this joke I saw new squat BNB like Aaron BNB service help squat find perfect home to take
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over that is funny because because it is legal now it's turning into a whole little Biz and I well the guy that did
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it first of all he comes here and then he tells people how to do it and how to it's just all it's chaos it's upside
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down let me ask you a question this is just off top of my head why do you what is the word squatter how does it apply
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so gross look this squatter became LeBron james' neighbor that's a real story have there see if that one's real I was going to grab a house it sounds
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like the onion yeah it does it's I think that I think in some Western States if your life is in danger like you're lost in the woods you see a cabin you can quote squat that's what that's my but I
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guess in California Anything could happen you know we're a little a little nutty out here folks well it's not like
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they leave it [ __ ] and span it's always like oh and there was a crack down and there was you know they trash EXC excuse
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me officer I went to Whole Foods and there's someone living in my house yes and what do you want me to do about it
00:09:08
yeah and you're arrested yeah those are his rights thank you officer oh it's on The Daily Mail it's real oh they've been having rockus parties they're never just there to be
00:09:20
cool yeah no they make a Ruckus oh they charge people to go in to to go to the hey come to the house next to LeBron's party I'd go to that actually that sounds fun okay what else we got that's
00:09:34
very cheerful oh here we go boy you want a read of the headline for our our driving for our drivers uh federal agents raid homes tied to Daddy yeah
00:09:47
Sean Coles in La Miami I drove by this yesterday I hit you up I drove by and didn't know that's what it was but that's what it was um okay I'll just say it innocent to
00:09:59
proven guilty you will the other one if it looks like a Donald Le Walks Like A Duck hey you got a duck yeah I just ran out of I feel like there was one funny
00:10:11
thing because it's true now he I like when the judge is gonna say it says here uh on your resume you're a bad boy for Life he's like well that's not that's just my company and my lifestyle but
00:10:24
that looks bad and then also there was something I saw that said uh there was some joke about but Puff Daddy judge confronts him on all the all the things
00:10:37
that he says over and over he does in his rap songs he's been accused of well that would be the thing it' be like when
00:10:45
you uh bu the prosecute attorney Mr Mr Comes This lyric you'll get all the [ __ ] you want and the [ __ ] will do as you say uh what what did you mean by that where are s [ __ ] are they with
00:10:57
us today are they Zoom I don't know it might be innocent but it's maybe another case of just a
00:11:04
lot of money making people become their authentic selves good night yeah what if they send they uh
00:11:13
they send them into a as a punishment into rap battle that's a dumb joke sounds like war no but here we have part
00:11:20
two there's this a former Syracuse mean a really good basketball player uh accused of being I love this speech a
00:11:26
drug mule for rapper did what if the Dr what if the judge says Raper Diddy and he goes it's rapper you're going to tilt the jury quit saying it reading it
00:11:38
wrong um yeah drug mule so what does he do he hides in his basketball up his bee
00:11:46
hole well it's kind of like uh you know he's a star player he's got a college degree could have worked for a law firm
00:11:53
and then you this real yeah and I guess it's cuz he looks so unassuming and it probably does hide the drugs in the B
00:11:59
basketball that's that's fantastic how for how does he get involved with puff dead it's so fun oh everyone's involved
00:12:06
he's like Kevin bak and everyone's everyone has some connection do you remember when Robert
00:12:12
smuggled at a cartoon about P Diddy and it was all about no one knew what he did he's a producer he's a
00:12:20
[Music] producer this show is sponsored by better help so what is the first thing you do if you had an extra hour in your day an extra hour in my day um let's see usually I
00:12:40
walkie-talkie a lot with you but if we weren't doing that hi You' go to the barn I'd hike i'
00:12:49
um yeah I'd walk around look around go to the well I check things out look at Birds is that what you do yeah I like I'd go film some Instagram stories around town MH uh a lot of people wish
00:13:03
they had more time that's pretty normal yeah how would you use it you'd probably do things that matter to you and therapy
00:13:11
can help you find what matters to you so you can do more of it yeah otherwise you're just flailing around it helps you
00:13:19
focus things and I'm a flailer I'll give you that I mean I I I had five years of
00:13:24
therapy all right six years doesn't matter let's round off to seven um you know on and off and it is a way to kind
00:13:32
of um orientate your your feelings and thoughts and um I guess it's it's like it's like the top of this ad it's like what do you
00:13:43
want to do and do that you know it's funny because I I take time to alphabetize my colognes but I don't
00:13:51
organize my thoughts right and me was sometimes when I'm taking a hike and I'm going God what
00:13:57
was I thinking I was going about if I went to the letter D in your alphabe of your clones would it be Dior Dion I mean what draer yeah so I spend
00:14:10
an inornate amount of times in my head it's like an OCD thing okay let's see his colone collection the letter c if you're thinking about starting therapy
00:14:20
like if you're crazy like Dana and me uh give better help a try it's entirely online it's designed to be convenient Flex suited to your schedule there's busy people out there um you fill out a
00:14:33
brief questionnaire to get matched with the licensed therapist you can switch to a different one if you want to at any
00:14:39
time no charge um I think that's a a huge feature so it's a lack of pressure last thing you want is any kind of pressure uh around choosing a therapist and I think better he help makes it very
00:14:51
easy to switch if it's just not the right connection right learn to make time for what makes you happy with
00:14:56
betterhelp visit betterhelp.com SL Superfly today to get 10% off your first month that's better help hp.com Superfly this new one is Obama
00:15:09
fearing Biden lost to Trump is on the phone to strategize course they're talking what would they be talking about
00:15:16
what would hey how would I do this Joe Joe Joe Barack Obama yeah Obama Joe I can't understand what you just said yeah come on I can do it Joe you got a the ground game Michigan and Pennsylvania
00:15:31
close race got to pound it got to pound it down the ground game pound down the ground Can't Believe It's Not Butter
00:15:37
Joel take take her down to Pound Town pound down Pound Down ground Town cirs clown get around I get around Can't
00:15:45
Believe It's Not Butter Joe hold on hold on when you say You Can't Believe It's Not Butter I don't understand what
00:15:50
you're talking about that's just a margarine product this manufactured to in fact tastes like butter so Obama
00:15:57
don't try to figure it out he's just saying crazy things Hunter are you there yeah I'm here why does he say Can't
00:16:04
Believe It's Not Butter when it's clearly just a margarine product Mar produ designed to be like butter I don't
00:16:10
know that's just he says all the time not a problem him I'm going to China next week hang out with some friends want to come Hunter Let It Go never
00:16:17
gonna happen he Bama won't go it won't go he's too smart for that yeah I make money my own way come on now you remember the butter commercial he goes butter butter
00:16:30
and he goes par well that let may have that sex next time remember that one no my main my my
00:16:38
first thought was the only one who could understand Joe Biden was Hunter hey why is he somebody say uh yeah's I'm doing
00:16:46
good dad call no I already ate sir yeah I could do it tomorrow 8 o' she then so that was what who' you see at Whole Foods I just yeah
00:17:00
Whole Foods you know why do they say Whole Foods come down they have a half a carrot that's not whole that's a lot all
00:17:06
right here we go blood this this is you told me about this Blood soak Tom Cruz when I saw this story it said blood soaked then it said fake blood no [ __ ]
00:17:16
Tom Cruz runs through London information POS PL by the way Tom Cruz has got it made any movie he's about to do he's running and they and that's usually the poster the trailer that everything he's
00:17:30
always in the run and he runs really fast I don't know if he does it every take I would not but every take he's
00:17:36
[ __ ] Sprints it's mysterious to me and I would like to know what he does to make this happen because to be honest like I I'll go to track meets and watch men in their 60s uh run a 100 meter dash
00:17:50
and they go get set they're in the blocks and they yell the gun goes off they they look like they're having a fist fight with their body I mean every
00:17:58
single part of their body is rebelling they're trying to go fast and they're just like mummies going down the so then
00:18:04
I see Tom Cruz as well the best part about that story Dana is that you go to track Meats for six old and watch well they they they have a division sometimes
00:18:15
and now the 60 to 64 year olds will try to especially in indoor track 60 meter dash on your mark get set and then they just it's like just they're so tight the
00:18:28
hip mobility that he has to have his Achilles tendons and Cavs have to withstand what he's
00:18:34
doing and he's sprinting 40 to 50 yards all day long so I don't know if we can show a video of it but maybe put it in later Greg but it's pretty impressive it's more impressive than hanging from
00:18:46
airplanes holding his breath for seven minutes this is the most impressive thing Tom Cruz does props for as being
00:18:53
able to Sprint at his age like he does good night people remember when I did the wrong Missy there was a scene where
00:18:59
me and schwartzen have to run across the whole hotel yeah and I and I go I don't
00:19:05
think at this point cuz my neck's so bad I can really like just run I used to be pretty fast so I go let's fast walk and
00:19:11
Nick's like what are you talking about I go it's more it's it's more like we're trying to be not suspicious we fast walk
00:19:18
which looks it kind of looked funnier so definitely it sold it a little bit but I was like I don't think I could do this
00:19:26
and I when I'm in Pilates they go can you touch your toe toast I go I can't touch my waist they're like
00:19:31
oh oh I can't butt my top button what are you trying to get I can't look at my belly button like Jesus all I'm saying is I'm tight but yeah the the hip mobility to do that that's a big thing
00:19:43
and I know you've been on top of that through through your time on planet Earth yes I'm on top of making myself
00:19:50
looser it's okay okay this guy's got a lot of heat on him this he he can't make a bad move here he does Jeremy white he is great actor I mean but if you look at these two you don't look at Jeremy Allen
00:20:02
White go Springsteen right but he's such a good actor he'll find an angle but I heard they Springsteen approved this biopic and then they were asking he goes
00:20:13
who's going to play me who's going to play me on the on the biop pick about myself and they said it's going to be B
00:20:20
it's going to be Jeremy Allen White Jeremy Allen who well he's the guy he's the guy from the bear oh I like that
00:20:27
you're going to have a bear play the boss an actual bear that's avanguard I like that so bear is going to play the
00:20:33
boss thank you very much thank you very much I thought about that that's 20 minutes ago Jeremy on white should play
00:20:39
a bear that should be the the real one but what about springing going it's not going to be that Timothy shamalama
00:20:46
dingdong guys we have a Timothy sh shalam Mingo Timothy shalam Monga manga is doing um a Bob Dylan biop pick so I thought this would be fun to talk about
00:20:57
and the tell that you know hey who's playing me in my biic and they go uh it's Timothy shalam oh shalam I once had a Ford
00:21:09
shalam sounds like it was a nice car Ford shalam uh well it's actually timoy shalam shalam Emperor shalam destroyed Theon Empire in 1442 he goes he goes I haven't seen a
00:21:22
movie in 28 years but is it the guy from Dune 2 like enjoy Dune two better than June one
00:21:31
but two is always more than one I like sequels hey see if you can pull up the new picture of uh Bruce Springsteen
00:21:39
because I know he'll be who who should be playing him it should be uh oh okay Megan Megan what talking about what's happening scroll down there we go no
00:21:53
come on that's not real all this way for that [ __ ] Megan rapone joke that's Megan rapone no that's
00:22:00
spring them no it's not look at him dressed in a half button it's not it's not the same drummer no that's turned to
00:22:07
Phoenix to do a gig well well that that blows my mind you folks are watching this on YouTube or driving he's got his shirt open he
00:22:20
looks well his hair is white angel and he looks like an angel no I love the boss but you know hey I thought I'd just mix it up a little bit you know and only
00:22:31
but have four buttons down and I've been working on my pecs like y you know you know how fast Tom Cruz can run well I can make my pecs dance like arm schz
00:22:41
[ __ ] 30 19 93s the tell okay now I know it's spring scene you know why because the other thing about aging don't want to make the whole podcast about this is that that
00:22:54
one on his left wrist is for arthritis I'll bet cuz playing the guitar like way he does and he's got a little glove on
00:22:59
his right hand that kind of helping his fingers not cramp up yeah yeah there he is well I love spring scene I just didn't tell his face that that him yeah that's him I think his hair just went
00:23:11
gray and he didn't dieye it I mean listen that's well he should have went salt and pepper it's just a little
00:23:17
jarring to people you you go you go pure per you let me start you go pure pepper
00:23:23
and then you go salt and pepper and then you go more salt than Pepper and then you go pure salt you don't go pure pepper to pure salt good night he went
00:23:31
he goes he goes give me the ghost I want to look pale with titties and short white hair I mean it's just one of those things he's gone his whole life without a bad picture he finally
00:23:45
yeah he's got a million pictures the [ __ ] club Jesus and then right before he went on he looked at someone some
00:23:51
young person goes hey you think I look like Jeremy Allen White there you go no we're getting till as Swanson that's who they said he looked like there okay I got the
00:24:04
till as Swanson that's funny I'm laughing inside right now that's good it's very smooth he shaved his he shaved his chest he shaved his face um and he's
00:24:16
got little wedges behind his ears so they she thinks they look like moobs or boobs or something but I think it's just
00:24:22
that's a lighting problem he's leaning back uh yeah uh yeah pictures do not tell the truth so we're going to just punt on this and say that's just an awkward
00:24:36
picture of the boss yeah okay next one but that was a good we stumbled into that one that's good yeah took 30
00:24:42
minutes but we got there we have editing capability oh because it's final four Time March Madness yeah this was on the internet I don't even remember him doing this so um
00:24:55
let's take a look at Farley as Christian l old bit playing a basketball player okay I'm Christian leer 1992 Duke Kentucky kck's up by one Christian's got
00:25:08
the ball 2 seconds left he shoots are beautiful turn around jumper gets his own rebound
00:25:19
B the win game of the centy and that's the way it happened well well Chris is always great but it wasn't they didn't play into Chris's strength I mean they should have had him playing the guys and
00:25:32
missing Shots by a mile and then screaming and writhing in pain or something he was all kind of smooth and
00:25:38
they were frozen and he made the shot so he didn't have anything funny thing is he's good at basketball so he was
00:25:44
probably arguing them what if I'm really good in this and they're like they probably met him in the middle and then
00:25:50
it was nowhere but uh yeah Chris is was natural athlete but it it's like if he got fouled and they said no it wasn't a foul then he'd flip out uh they asked me to do a promo like
00:26:02
this sounds like a joke setup I did do one of these if we have it if we don't it's okay but I did do a couple with
00:26:08
Amari stal I was teaching him how to play all right great I'm ready to show the NBA fans
00:26:14
that I'm dedicated to taking my game to another level so I Decided R by when he came to me I sat him down right away and
00:26:21
I said listen man I'm going to coach you I'm not your daddy not your mommy not your little sister going to give you a
00:26:26
few pointers just some basic stuff well I come in D the swimmer what's up give him the swimmer that's toally legal dude not your preacher not your best friend from eth grade best thing you can do is
00:26:36
flop that's another Rule and then when the guy just Taps you make it big like Kramer and I'm not your cashier your
00:26:43
precious God dang El pool Loco you go to every day so give me a little tap I'll show you how to fall a little light one
00:26:48
ow dang it dude I got a stinger I got a stinger that's good we were just starting to get along I'm here to whip your ass into shape and get you
00:27:00
to the next Lev offit too what what year was this oh there was another one hey man I did four of those they're pretty funny I told him how to wear goggles they were funny yeah you to give it so
00:27:17
it's an unenthused one you go what did you what did I was just thinking about you just had started to do a little bit of the peninsula little goatee patch gross yeah and you just sort of you so
00:27:29
you were just off SNL kind of maybe yeah the Suns someone that work with the Suns
00:27:35
had me come do it it it sounded like fun and Mari was cool and we just no script
00:27:40
just that's the thing come in oh do five promos that are each minute and just make up some funny [ __ ] I'm like so we made up some funny ones it was all right and he was very cool he said do whatever
00:27:52
just tell me what to do and I liked him a lot and uh I didn't know where they aired they might have aired at the gas
00:27:57
pump at CC K on Indian School I don't know okay hey man it's it's a paycheck unless it was voluntary I don't I don't know if it was a oh okay uh oh this is a one I I always get
00:28:11
sent and people say explain things this is uh okay so William Morris has four floor seats at the games I was Willi Morris they gave me two seats I
00:28:25
took Chris and back in those days I don't know if it's still this way but if you get out of the four you get the two
00:28:31
good ones one of you gets to sit next to the bench and so the first half I did in
00:28:36
the second half we flipped and he did and sometimes you got to sit next to Kobe because he would sit at the end of
00:28:42
the bench but I know you think of Kobe as like a freewheeling lazy player but he was usually focused and um I do I do and I don't know why you you you you you're you think he
00:28:55
always half asses it basketball but so this was remarkably caught on camera the way they shot it and just play it first then I'll explain it but
00:29:09
everyone sends me this all the time you got to do funniest man in the world telling
00:29:17
jokes and take a look at Kobe Bry isn't that funny the announcer on they pull back wow talk about a Zone I was at a hotel once in the Sacramento
00:29:28
Kings were there and they were playing the Lakers in the playoffs when the Lakers had
00:29:33
Shaq and uh they got me a tough game and I actually said to the coach the only way you can win is to try to tire out Shaq and they that's the coach yeah the
00:29:45
only way you can win is run Shack raged and try to get him tired I think they won that game but I'm not saying I could
00:29:52
give advice you coached him to the you coached but you coached against the Lakers is what you really did well I was
00:29:58
I was working out with the Kings at the time just at a hotel place they were stretching yeah and that's before
00:30:04
Sandler did it you did it uh Sandler goes to cities and he goes gagoo and they go all right come down I thought what you doing before you
00:30:17
play this you know about Shani does everyone know we have a new Asian baseball player and what he did he deferred his income he's going to get 7 00 million in 10 years but for uh the
00:30:30
next 10 years he's going to get uh $1,800 a year he's living at the motel six in he's at the Oak Woods he's at the
00:30:38
oak woods but he'll be worth 700 okay what's this oh this is so so shohi uh his interpreter got busted for gambling so Shi they found out his
00:30:54
interpreter blew $4 and a half million dollar on gambling which is you know interesting and and
00:31:01
and a big problem in baseball I'm sure is that they got to make sure no one's gambling in all sports you're not allowed to so they said show hey wait he
00:31:10
said yes I covered his $4.5 million gambling problem and they said wait was it you gambling and then they waited and then they had another interpreter go oh no um no he was just saying no he has he
00:31:23
doesn't know anything about it so Pete Rose comes out and says this which is funny well back in the 70s and ' 80s I wish I'd have had an interpreter I'd be
00:31:34
Scott free isn't that kind of a good point well it's yeah they're saying Shi might
00:31:42
you know they go well you know then they have gamblers of course get on Tik Tok within minutes and be like hey this
00:31:49
guy's got a big you know show allegedly gambles now I'm sure a lot of them do you're not allowed to bet on your own team of course that's the worst thing you can do but basketball baseball all of it is so
00:32:00
vague because DraftKings and FanDuel they're teamed up with the NFL in the NBA they're they're in the stadium they're all over the place they're on their jerseys and then they're like but
00:32:11
you guys don't do it it's like it's getting a little blurry a little murky and so I just thought it was funny like Pete Rose is sitting here banned from the Hall of Fame because he bet a little
00:32:23
bit in the old days and now betting is the like greatest thing in the world well my question is this how does
00:32:30
The Interpreter without shaah sh sh's help even get four and a half million in debt you know what's he getting paid if it's if it's not we should do that
00:32:41
that's the big story how much do you get paid as an interpreter I mean either that it's just like a friend thing you
00:32:48
know like hey I I know I was interpreting for you but uh can I get your bank account numbers like I mean
00:32:54
maybe because he has to do everything for him maybe account use the the business manager sorry Warren Grant or
00:33:01
car the accountant steals the money but The Interpreter getting access to all the stuff hey man what's your PIN for
00:33:07
your ATM well maybe because he says Hey show he you just got a big fat check for
00:33:12
1800 you want me to go pop it in the bank for you uh I'll go tell them what do you want them to do and he says put
00:33:18
it in my account and then The Interpreter goes put it in my account you know what I mean because
00:33:24
showy doesn't know what he's saying in English well yeah well just so for we have some Baseball fans shoh is his
00:33:33
nickname right the the athlete that we're talking about has never been seen in the modern era I think Babe Ruth maybe was the last guy to be an incredible pitcher and the best hitter
00:33:47
so shoh is a double threat he's like one of the best pitchers he has an El you right now one of the best pitchers in
00:33:54
Major League Baseball in history in history and the best that's why you get 700 million you get close to a billion
00:34:01
when you're that good two positions could I just do Dana he should be talked about way more for how good he is but uh yeah rather than about for the wrong reasons now you don't you don't get 700
00:34:13
million without being pretty good okay go ahead can I do I was going to do because by popular demand I know people
00:34:19
liked when I had um the Japanese band in an earthquake I might as well just you want to do it again part two part two
00:34:25
part two okay sequel yeah this is just a very polite uh friendly uh Japanese man with a friend and then uh there's a little bit
00:34:38
of a Tremor here we go okay here we go see oh Jesus that's a 10.8 and scene everyone's okay yeah no
00:35:12
hey man Tokyo is you could put a 10.0 in there and all the villains just shake they don't they don't go down for nobody now the used to Godzilla story also you had came out with a sequel in less than
00:35:24
a year that's very rare [Music] what is the funniest thing that happened to me recently um I don't know oh I was uh doing a
00:35:44
podcast and everyone was smoking and there was fans blowing on me I can't take it I got to tell you I you know
00:35:54
Harry's Razors this reminds me of Harry's Razors because Harry agrees that life har agrees that that that's funny
00:36:02
but what isn't funny is getting ripped off and they saw customers getting ripped off over and over over price
00:36:09
shaving products they said let's do something better D yes and they did it and they did I mean they just made a I'm must just say it it's not on the ad copy
00:36:20
a superior product um which which is super quality and it's a it's like those razors those disposable razors I'm not going to mention any competitors but these little
00:36:34
plastic things that are in little bags and they just break in your hand and break off and you're in pain and they
00:36:40
don't do anything you get them like at a hotel they come down and they give you a razor and then you're like this and it's
00:36:46
like it peels back one layer of your skin and you go you know what I mean it's like things yeah I'm not talking
00:36:52
from a personal experience then you have a hot towel and you compress it you call uh downstairs yeah anyway the point is
00:37:00
these uh hary razors are great looking they're a little bit retro they're heavy in your hand got some heft to them yeah
00:37:08
it's like it really feels good on your skin to have rather than a lightweight thing that wants to just destroy your
00:37:14
skin something heavy makes it fun makes it cool you look cool doing it which is half the battle especially if you film
00:37:20
it and show your friends when you shave yeah or just hang around in the bathroom until someone goes are you using this
00:37:26
and then they see what's going on and you go like this oh me scrape that was a good one with a little cartoon bubble yeah they have a lot of stuff they have deodorant they have
00:37:37
lotion they have body wash hair gel I think they put a lot of thought into this they do a good job with all of them
00:37:44
mhm oh by the way for just three bucks you can get a five blade razor weighted handle foaming shave gel and a travel
00:37:52
cover yes three bucks at harry's.com fly wow that's crazy richly lathering skin softening body wash incense like Redwood your
00:38:04
favorite wildlands and stone mhm you have to guess what those smell like well when people when I do this people walk by they go is someone
00:38:16
wearing rocks that's me are you wearing Creek pedals pees no but I have some in my pocket Extra Strength High quality amazing smelling
00:38:29
deodorant for just under $5 come on plus hair other grooming products that fit your unique look and needs M highest customer satisfaction in the Shaving
00:38:40
industry trial y don't like your shave don't you worry it's on them like that a lot convenient subscription option that you can cancel at any time good Lord
00:38:54
getting ripped off is not funny that's how we started this right get to Harry's make the switch get started with $13
00:39:01
trial set for just three bucks at harry's.com sfly that's harry's.com Fly for a $3
00:39:11
trial set all right let's go to advice column we're gonna have people ask us advice let's see what advice okay oh look we got a girl okay I'm back here we go
00:39:23
we're look at the bottom it says advice I could use your advice yes I recently started in only fans I've done it before previous Seasons always Springtime Seasons it
00:39:37
helps me make rent but I'm in the case where I need to make a lot of money quickly so my question for you too is
00:39:49
because you have the male perspective and your money I want to know what you think I should put on my only Dan to make a lot of
00:40:03
money as a solo female solo artist okay well all right well I get asked this question all the time oh yeah
00:40:16
but then I say to my wife come on David I'll let you uh you don't have to you can go I would say this okay uh and ALS
00:40:27
sincerity do the minimal amount you have to do in terms of being pornographic and
00:40:33
get the money it's only fans is not all you know you can just L there's a lot of
00:40:40
lonely men all you need is about five million lonely men globally because the digital audience is five billion so you need five million and just be their surrogate girlfriend maybe sometimes you
00:40:51
wear a blouse they like do the minimal you can see what you're making see giving actual real advice you and then if you have to up the Annie and you actually need the
00:41:03
money uh it's better than 1890 walking the streets of London is that a prostitute yeah okay
00:41:12
because you're you're never you're virtual but I'd say do the minimal and get the most money with the minimal seems like a new version it's better
00:41:20
than being a stripper in the old days or a peeler as they say in Canada because in the strip club the guys are right there they get to know you they know your car they can wait for you when you leave it seems like a bad it seems if
00:41:35
you're going to do something like that that was the really risky way to do it but yeah today you're in your house you
00:41:41
do it you do it for a half hour you make I see the easiness of it of why it's appealing and the money I don't know if they all make money I don't know if you need a big audience already like if
00:41:52
you're a big influencer then it's more risky that everyone finds out I think the worst Cas is you don't have a lot of
00:41:59
people you do it and really only your friends and family find out and then you don't really make a lot of money that's
00:42:05
got to be true here's a way to test yourself like if you took the content the video from
00:42:14
it and you're getting married and then when there's the the reception it's played on a big screen would you be okay with your husband to be and all your
00:42:24
family and friends yeah that's a test you that's a test if you can show it to them and they'll be
00:42:31
like well I would say my question is to you would you do only fans do men do only fans I think they do and they make money I think [ __ ] got I saw on a chart
00:42:44
on Yahoo News was saying that he makes a lot I don't know what he does I hope it's not wait a minute you seem to know
00:42:51
a lot about only fans I'm just an observation well that girl bad baby that I did that video with she makes 20
00:42:57
million a year so you start to go oh only fans people make more than Tom Cruz now so I see the Allure but hang on before this next question I would say
00:43:08
try to go into the guys that like feet or something specific I think you can make it doing
00:43:15
the weirdest stuff and it doesn't have to be the most actually having sex on cam foot
00:43:21
foot fetish that's that's a great yeah that's a great handle but thank you for the question okay what's the next one
00:43:28
what what's this guy's only fans question hi David and Dana this is uh Rick TI I'm on the courts Trail just uh
00:43:36
in Scottdale I'm sure Spade is familiar with this my uh advice I need is at what
00:43:42
age should I stop playing video games because I'm the same age as uh as Spade all right love the Pod thanks guys good old Rick title should have gone into being a
00:43:54
weatherman Rick title or like a a guy who comes off the bench Rick TI is actually playing some time now for Los Angeles and tit TI goes inside uh we'll
00:44:05
be back with Rick tile in your fed day uh okay so okay oh yeah let me see oh yeah by the way you can always ask for video advice by writing Superfly
00:44:18
odyssey.com auac y.com but okay so Rick Scottdale I don't know that trail video games is something I never got into uhuh but it's such a good time
00:44:32
killer I've heard I would I should do it I mean other than Angry Birds there's not much really high quality out there
00:44:39
but I never got into Super Mario I never got into um Call of Duty and all the ones I'm not a tweaker or a twitcher I was in the 90s it was Donkey Kong it was
00:44:53
like uh little gorillas throwing barrels at you very cute I would say just keep going because now ai ai is going to start making video
00:45:06
games and pretty soon you'll be in a room it'll be three-dimensional it'll be water spraying at you so or try to get a
00:45:13
job as an AI engineer because n Nvidia who makes all the micro chips and is a trillion dollar2 trillion doll company started started with video games so
00:45:25
maybe you can parlay that because the world's becoming virtual David yeah uh everything is virtual you might yeah you
00:45:32
might want to know something about video games that might be good for Rick tile also like only fans there's video Gamers
00:45:40
that make a killing and I'm sure every kid in the world is saying but mom if you let me play video games all day I
00:45:45
might get to the game Olympics or one of these big conventions and get sponsored like skateboarding like all that so I
00:45:52
don't know I would say do it just for your own mental health for fun but if it takes over your life that's I would I
00:45:58
would say just do it but don't have it don't have the Tableau look like this dark basement potato chip wrappers all
00:46:06
around beer beer cans uh and then you're the game's getting you anxious and angry
00:46:13
you know you don't you want to be light about it can people a little crazy all right that might be it for the advice
00:46:18
unless you want to do one more oh you want me to explain this picture real quick yes I love this someone wrote me in said
00:46:24
explain so some people do you want me to just explain the haircut well all I'm seeing is you on my screen I loved that [ __ ] purple shirt I had on it was silk I remember that shirt you wore that
00:46:37
a lot oh I wore that [ __ ] [ __ ] out so during SNL I was doing that receptionist
00:46:42
sketch where I go and you are and you are yeah and it got a little bit of attention
00:46:49
so the the guy running the MTV award said why don't you come here and do it an interstitial bit it but you have access to our performers they would come
00:47:00
do it you have to have someone famous that you act like you don't recognize them and you're talking down to them is
00:47:05
the bit so I said oh how fun so I got Ringo Star and pin head and someone else oh dice I think so we took a picture luckily and it's the most random picture
00:47:17
why Ringo Star is wearing that I don't know but I love him you love him and I forgot I got to meet him there peace and
00:47:23
love brothers and love they with me Brothers they with me brothers look at Dana's balloons he
00:47:29
just did I what is that on my screen I don't know yeah that was my screen's going wack whacky peace and love peace and love now I just see you I it's been
00:47:39
[Laughter] a is Greg doing that I don't think he can do it I don't even know are we gonna
00:47:47
wrap I'm not doing it my screen's gone this is Riverside it is it is an AI I only saw do a p sign and that could trigger it or waving thing to something something's weird on my oh my God I love
00:48:01
well I only see you now David this whole thing I don't want to press any buttons I only see
00:48:06
you uh well we should end it on that sort of mistake I like it yeah so those are actually I like advice so we'll do it again so do it next week yeah we have great vague advice that won't help
00:48:19
anyone let us won't really help but we didn't [ __ ] on them we were pretty respectful you know no so and uh thank
00:48:26
thanks for watching thanks for listening and come see me in the road and that's about it Dana anything for
00:48:32
you um go Warriors go over to Super go over to uh fly on thewall if you're really bored and watch that one on audio all right thanks
00:48:46
guys this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Charlie
00:48:54
finan of Brill entertainment Jenna Weiss SP of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked
00:49:01
[Music] it